Ep. 17 | Outgrowing the Life That Looks Good on Paper with Amanda Aguilar

Have you ever looked around at the life you've built and thought, "Everything is supposed to feel right... so why doesn't it?"

In this episode, I sat down with Amanda Aguilar for a conversation about the messy middle of outgrowing an old version of yourself. We talked about what it feels like when life looks successful on paper, but something inside you knows you're being invited into something different. We explored what self-love actually looks like beyond the clichés, how to rebuild self-trust after years of people-pleasing and overachieving, and why redefining success doesn't mean you've failed—it means you're paying attention to who you're becoming.

Amanda also shared how her journey from Emmy Award-winning TV news reporter to Self-Love and Empowerment Coach shaped the work she does today, helping women reconnect with themselves through storytelling, compassion, and trust.

Whether you're questioning a career, a relationship, or simply the version of yourself you've outgrown, I hope this conversation reminds you that wanting something different doesn't erase everything you've built—it simply makes room for what's next.

About Amanda

Amanda Aguilar is a Self-love + Empowerment Coach who supports women in the messy middle of outgrowing an old version of themselves — especially the ones who have done everything “right” but still feel like something in their life is asking to change. Her coaching is rooted in self-trust, self-compassion, nervous system awareness, inner child healing, and redefining success in a way that actually feels true to them. Before becoming a coach, Amanda spent 10 years as an Emmy Award-winning TV news reporter, where she learned the power of storytelling and helping people feel seen. Now, through her coaching and storytelling, she helps women reconnect with who they are, what they want, and the version of themselves they’re becoming.

Connect with Amanda:

Instagram: @aaguilartv

Website: https://amaguilar.my.canva.site/privatecoaching

Connect with Sarah Nicole + The Legacy Edit

Follow along on Instagram: @sarahnicolecreative
For inquiries, collaborations, or support: hello@sarahnicolecreative.com

Work With Me
Sarah Nicole is the founder of Sarah Nicole Creative, where photography, strategy, and community intersect.
Details on current offerings, memberships, sessions, and events can be found through the links in the show notes, on Instagram, or on my website below;

Sarah Nicole Creative

Listener Love
If this episode resonated, follow the show, leave a review, and share it with someone who’s editing their life with intention.
Your support helps this work reach the people who are ready for it.

About the Show
The Legacy Edit is a podcast about identity, healing, leadership, and building a life that actually fits.
We talk about personal growth, relationships, and creative work with clarity and intention—without the noise.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Legacy isn't built in grand moments. It takes quietly through the choices we edit every single day. Welcome to the Legacy Edit. Stop competing with each other and stop working together. Here we have a real conversation. Of what it has to take to grow. The mind has to standard. The decision is the road and choose to be. I'm Sarah Nicole, the Legacy Architect, and this is where we refine how you think, how you move, and how you build so your life and your business reflected. So let's get into it.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

All right, hello, and welcome to another episode of the Legacy Edit Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Nicole, and today's guest is Amanda Aguilar, a self-love and empowerment coach who helps women navigate the space between who they've been and who they're becoming. Now, before stepping into coaching, Amanda spent a decade as an Emmy Award-winning TV news reporter helping tell stories that made people feel seen. Today, she brings that same passion into her work, supporting women who have checked all the boxes, we've done everything right, and yet we still find ourselves feeling called toward something different and new. So, in this conversation, we're going to talk about what happens when the life you've built looks good on paper, but something inside you knows you've outgrown it, and how to navigate that messy middle, as Amanda calls it, between an old identity and a new one. So, Amanda, welcome to the Legacy Edit. Thank you. I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

This is actually probably one of my first guest like podcast recordings in like, I want to say, I don't know, like two, three years.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

No way, girl.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

Yeah, it's been a while. So I'm like, I feel I was like, it's crazy because I was like, okay, I want to get into like more speaking, more like guest podcasts, you know, bring back my podcast. And so I'm just like honored you asked me because I was like, oh, like, okay, this is like a step, we're we're gonna do it again, you know, open myself up to more opportunities to do get back into it. So I'm just really excited. Oh my god, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

And I love that you say that because so asking you to be on was a big, like, big shift for me too. Cause like, okay, so if y'all, y'all don't know, I've followed Amanda, I've been like around her. When did you start doing doing uh She Is Made for More and Galantines? Like 22, 21?

SPEAKER_02 2:48

Wait, I think 20, I think my first one was 2020.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

Yeah. So well, yeah, the first one, that's right, because I was photographing it. I think you were there. Yeah, yeah. So literally six years, and I like you heard her intro, she is an Emmy Award-winning TV host. So when I met her, she was still in the studio, and so it was kind of like this, she's like this big deal. And I'm like, oh shit, like, okay, this is this is a cool person to be around, but like she intimidating, and not because she's mean, because she's like the sweetest human alive, but um yeah, so it was a really big like asking you to come on was a big step out of my comfort zone and like a big a big for me too, because it's like my thing is is being comfortable with asking people who you know I admire and have more expertise and you know have this different background, and so that's really cool.

SPEAKER_02 3:45

Well, thank you for those sweet words. I mean, I was like immediate yes, like I have always loved your energy, like being around you, like and obviously like we follow each other on social media and just I just love what you're doing, and also just like seeing your transition as well and going into your business. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

All right, so forget the questions, let's just go. Forget it. Forget it. We're just gonna riff. Um, but no, so I mean, and it's crazy because you have so many beautiful things going on um right now. I mean, before we started recording, I you know, I had to give Amanda her flowers and congratulate her. She recently just got engaged to like the most perfect I've never met him, but everything I've seen about him, I'm like, girl, you found your person.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

I did.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

On top of that, quitting your nine to five, like all the things that you've been navigating, it is it is so inspiring. And you are just anyway, man. I just I can't I can't. So many things.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Me tearing up because I'm like, you know, I don't, I sometimes I forget to stop and reflect on everything that has happened, and I'm like, oh shit, like yeah, you did a lot of that, you attracted a lot of this, so yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

And and it really comes from you doing your own work and you did the work that you knew something didn't feel, you know, everything you were doing everything right, you know, you had the I mean, you had the things, but something still felt off. And I love that now you help women with that. So, with that, how do you help the women you work with distinguish between being ungrateful for what they have and recognizing when they've genuinely outgrown a season of their life?

SPEAKER_02 5:34

Yeah, I think like we're always taught to be grateful for what we have. Like, I mean, it starts at such a young age, you know, our parents being like, Well, you have this, you need to be grateful for this, I provided you this. Like it it starts at a very young age of like we need to be grateful for everything that we have. And I think um for me, I mean, I I mean, when I was in news, like I had it, you know. I a lot of people saw news as this very glamorous, like very impressive kind of job. And I mean, I loved it, and it was a very cool job. I got to meet amazing people, got to, you know, go to amazing places, like got to tell amazing stories, like I loved it, but also it wasn't glamorous, it was a lot of hard work. Um, and you know, it worked before when I was, you know, just starting, and then I think I got older, and not even just getting older, it was I was getting to know myself more. You know, I started a healing journey in 2020, and that was kind of the start of me really understanding who Amanda is and what does Amanda like? What does Amanda you know not like? And so as I got older, but really just starting to know myself more, there were a lot of things that I realized like, oh, this uh this isn't as important to me anymore. You know, being on TV wasn't as important to me anymore. Like, I'm not gonna lie, a big part also because I'm a Leo rising. Like, I love attention, like I love being in the spotlight. So yeah, being on TV was like, yeah. But obviously I got into it for, you know, just to tell stories and help people feel seen and validated and everything else. But yeah, I just started realizing things um weren't as important to me anymore. They weren't making me happy. Um, and when I was like considering leaving news, it was kind of like, why? Like you worked so hard, like you should be grateful where you are. You like there's so many people that would want to be in your position, and here you are, like wanting to leave. Um, you know, the opportunities it gave me just so many, and it was just like you're being ungrateful. And you know, I kind of had to realize that it that it's okay, like I could be grateful, like there's duality, right? The two things can be true at once. Like, I can be grateful for everything that news gave me and the and the woman it helped me become, and then I can also still want more for myself and want different. Like, that's not a bad thing. So, a lot of my coaching with women is just compassion and understanding that you can hold gratitude and you should. I think it is important to be grateful for the things that you have, but also don't guilt yourself because you want more, you want better. That's what I wanted. I wanted better, especially really just a better life. Um, you know, with news, it was 24-7 and a lot of urgency. You know, you're missing holidays, missing milestones of like your friends and family. And I got to a point where I was like, actually, I do value my time with my family and my friends, and I don't want to waste that. And so again, with just getting to know myself more is getting to know my values and things that were important to me. So, time with my friends that was something that I really wanted back and time with my family. Um, and so yeah, it it took probably like two years to finally leave news. Um, but I I had to give myself a lot of compassion and you know, go through the grief process, you know, and I just left my nine to five job what a week ago, I think. I think it was like one or two weeks ago. And yeah, it was literally like a week. Yeah, it was very, very recent. It was like engaged, no more jobs. I wasn't planning, I don't even think like my fiance was like because I knew leaving news and going to another nine to five, like a normal job, you know, marketing. I knew I wasn't gonna, that wasn't long term. Like I was just like, okay, we're gonna go to this nine to five to help build your business, you know, have that steady income. Um, I wasn't plan like I literally was not planning to leave for maybe another two years or two or three years. And yeah, 2026, it yeah, very surprising. So I ended up leaving that nine to five two. And that was another situation where it was like, you're making six figures, you have great benefits, you know. Your company gives you all these really cool perks, and like it there were just so many things that that job did give me that yes, I'm grateful for, but again, it was just comp giving myself compassion of like you can still want better, like you can want different, um, and and normalizing gratitude, but also this um, I guess, longing for something more in my life. Um, and so it's teaching my clients that is a big part of what I do is like the self-compassion and and even just like self-trust um is huge when you're in the messy middle because you don't know what the hell is on the other side of you know, like the messy middle. You have no clue. Like you know what you're experiencing, you know your past, but you don't know this future chapter, and you have to trust yourself enough to know that you can handle whatever is on the other side, even though you don't have a freaking playbook of of what's gonna be happening. Um so yeah, it's it's it's been um, I think that's why I wanted to work niche down essentially because I was I am a self-love coach, and before a lot of my programs were very self-love programs, you know, I was helping all women going through any kind of thing, breakup, leaving their careers, whatever it was. And the messy middle just seemed very personal to me because I've gone through it so much, and I think it's not talked about enough. Um, I know my mom never mentioned to me, like, hey, when you get a little older, you're you're gonna start questioning your life and the thing, like no one told me that. And so when it finally first happened, I was like, is this normal? Like, what is happening? Like, why am I feeling this way when I look around and my friends seem happy with their jobs, they seem happy with where they're at, and I'm like, I want more, like I want different. This can't be it, yeah, and so that's why I decided, okay, I want to specifically coach women who are going through that messy middle and they're really just outgrowing their old self.

SPEAKER_01 12:47

Yeah, no, I love that. And I mean, I'm I mean, as you know, I'm going through literally that, you know. I declared, I feel like 2026 is just the year for everybody, you know. Beginning of the year, I was like, I'm done. You know, I was in a very, very toxic um work environment. I was in a nonprofit sector, it was in human services, social services, and you know, it was my nervous system, like literally my supervisor, my director, I went back to therapy because he triggered me so much, like my abusive ex-husband. And he, I told him that, you know, and it was so it was like it was not a good work environment. And then on top of that, you're constantly in fight or flight because of the type of services we were working with and the people we were working with, and you know, so I was like, when the beginning of this year hit, I was like, I'm done, like corporate, I don't want to do corporate America anymore. It's not fun, it's not for me. Like, I don't want to do it. And then I transitioned to a new job like the end of January, and I, you know, I was, I was, I was comfortable, I was happy with it. I was like, okay, cool. Like I'm in a new office, it's much calmer. You know, I'm still kind of in the social services, but more in the medical, so it's not as it's not something I love, but it's something I can do to, you know, support my dream while I'm building it. And then it's like, so that was we're what in June? This was June. So January, I made this declaration. I switched jobs, everything calmed down. I was finally able to regulate my nervous system, which I know we're I'm wanna, I've I've I have so many things I want to touch on with you on that one in a minute. But you know, I was finally able to actually regulate my nervous system, not be in constant fight or flight, and then come two weeks ago, you know. Well, so when I was like, I'm not corporate, I was like, October. For some reason, like October was the month that I'm like, all right, I I can make it to October, I can leave and be fine. And so a couple weeks ago, out of nowhere, two employees in my office got laid off. And the next day, when they finally explain everything to us, they're like, Yeah, well, uh we don't know if we're getting our contract back, and then it expires in September. And I'm like, Oh, okay, I see you, universe. I hear you. And then today, half my office got laid off, including our director and our office manager, which I just found out that piece. Yeah, like I thought it was just staff, but I just found out an hour ago it was the director too, and our office manager. So I'm like honestly, really confused as to why I didn't get laid off and more annoyed than not, which is crazy because a year ago, I would have freaked the fuck out. Like, yeah, no questions asked. Like, you would have told me that. I mean, and and I did go through that literally a year ago where I was, they started layoffs, and I got scared because my job was on the line because it's grants, it's nonprofit. And this time I was like, like, I was so ready. I was like, call me, tell me I'm fired, let's go. And then I didn't get a call and I texted, and I'm like, So do I have a job or not? And they're like, No, you're fine. And I'm like, fuck, darn. Like, I literally, I literally got upset. I was like, oh shit. And then I was like, it really made me realize like I'm ready for more. And it's like so many people don't ever take that leap. And now I'm in the in-between of like thinking I needed to wait until I was forced to, or well shit, do I just do it?

SPEAKER_02 16:20

That's so funny you mentioned that because I feel like I was like even talking to one of my business coaches about this, where we do the scary things, we like prepare, and we're kind of like, look, universe, like, look what I'm doing. Like, I'm doing the scary thing, like I'm ready. But then inside, we're kind of like, okay, but like give me a sign that this is like all worth it. And once you give me that sign, then I'm gonna make my motherfucking jump. Because I did that, I think, I feel like when I I launched a group program and like did a webinar, which I honestly was like always nervous to host webinars, but it was like, ooh, see universe, like, look, I'm doing the scary thing, I'm going out of my comfort zone. Like, tell me that my business is about to work out, and I didn't get the sign. And my one of my business coaches was like, you can't like do things expecting to get these the sign from the universe, you have to just like jump and do it scared, and I'm like, Oh, mother frick, that's not what I want to do. That's scary shit for nothing. But it's like, yeah, you have to trust yourself to just jump and and do it. And it's so funny you mentioned layoffs because my company was also going through layoffs, and a part of me was like, a part of me was like, ooh, like, oh, like that's scary. But another part was like, I mean, I wouldn't hated if I was laid off because it would then force me. But I don't know, the universe has a very funny way of doing things because I mean, I I took medical leave. That was kind of what led me into leaving my nine to five. I I took medical leave and my plan was okay, just get another nine to five, just change your your your environment. And as I was like looking for more full-time jobs, I had to be real with myself and I was like, if you get another full-time job, I mean, is anything gonna be different? Like, are you still gonna be miserable because you're not pouring into your business like you really want? And so being honest with myself was a really um, I would say kind of like a shift in in how I started um like approaching the medical leave because then it was more of like, okay, I'm not gonna use medical leave to find a new full-time job. I'm gonna use medical leave to really start pouring into my business. Um and I didn't expect to make the jump so soon. Like I had an extension for medical leave because it was supposed to end first week of June. Oh then I already started having like panic attacks, like getting the email. Just thinking about going back, yeah. You have to come back, like your leave is almost done, and I had a panic attack, and I told my psychologist, like this, I cannot, like, I cannot. So he extended it, and I was supposed to be done with leave in September, and I, you know, I I don't think I ever got the sign from the universe of like your business is gonna take off or this is the right decision. I now that I look back on it, I got no sign. I don't think I got any sign. It I think I got more like confirmation of like you're on the right path or you're right where you need to be. But nothing like, yup, you are gonna hit six figures or anything like that to give me that safety of okay, it's okay to jump. Um, but then I I don't know. I honestly sometimes I I even told my friend, I was like, I don't know what got into me that morning. I woke up and I was like, Yeah, I'm gonna send in my resignation letter and be like effective today. Um yeah, I was gonna say, I was gonna do like maybe a couple days, like five days, not even two weeks. I was gonna give them five days, but I was like, no, like what there, I have you guys, I'm not even getting benefits, like you guys aren't paying me my salary, like it's really short, well, short-term disability, but that got denied. That's a whole other thing. But it was like there was no reason to still be employed there, and so I was just kind of like bye, and you know, just betting on myself, and yeah, it's scary as hell, dude.

SPEAKER_01 20:54

That is that is I love that, and I think like you helping women to go through and navigate that too is so beautiful because I mean, like you said, like this is not it's not something new to you. This isn't even the first time that you've navigated.

SPEAKER_02 21:11

I feel like, yeah, it was funny because um my friend who's also in the healing space, um, I think it was like in 2021 when she was launching her business. She was giving complimentary, like 90-minute therapy kind of calls. And um I did that back in like 2021, and she messaged me a couple of days ago, and she was like, Girl, I remember hopping on that call with you, and you were already saying about how you don't know what your future looks like, you don't know if you want to stay in news anymore, like all these things about you questioning your life. And she was like, and seeing where you are now is crazy because you left news, you left your nine to five that was supposed to kind of. Support your business and you're going full on in your business. You have a fiance, and I was like, damn, I really have been questioning my life for a long time. Like, and I keep going through this messy middle. And part of me is like, Why the fuck do I keep going through this shit? But I realize it's because I just I keep growing honestly. And I just keep learning more and more about myself and unlearning things that were taught to me, relearning things that are actually true to me. And that's what's making me realize slowly, like, yeah, I actually don't like that part of my life, or I don't like doing that. And so that's why I feel like the messy middle is just the more you grow, you're gonna find yourself in it a lot.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

I I just have to say I love the way that you frame that because I I had that realization myself not that long ago. Like it was, I don't even know what it was. I think I stumbled upon or I looked at something in an old computer, and it was like things that I'm talking about now, I've been talking about them for five, six years. And I'm like, shit, like this is if I if I was talking about this six years ago and I'm still talking about it now, there's a reason, but then I was noticing that I had, you know, continually fallen back. And I feel like myself and a lot of people, when we think of that, we think of it as like in the sense of you know, you're gonna keep falling in the same patterns until you like learn the lesson, right? But which isn't to say that that's not necessarily true sometimes, but I really like the way that you frame it and the way that like you're focusing on it means that like that messy middle is you're growing and not necessarily because I feel like that that gets a lot. I don't know, that's just my opinion. I feel like maybe people who are kind of in that other mindset, it does feel more like the messy middle is falling backwards versus actually growing.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

Yeah, I I feel like the messy middle is just like your body, like just you, your intuition, trying to be like, hold on, bitch, like let's fucking really pay attention here and like really question what you're doing, what you like, what you enjoy, what you don't like, where you wanna be. Like, I mean, I think we all have this like ideal life that we want to be living, and I am so committed to living that ideal life that I'm I'm always gonna listen to my intuition. And like, I think about with news when I left, like I felt misaligned because it was the time. I was like not having time with family and friends, and there was just so much urgency. So, my what was important to me was essentially work-life balance, and so I went into a nine to five that did give me work-life balance at the time. Things changed because of management, out of my control, and I think that was a test for me, and that's why I think I started feeling the burnout and just like unhappiness because it was again my intuition being like, okay, things are changing. Like, are you gonna stay true to who you are and what you want? And like, let's reevaluate what's actually important to you. And then when I got into that point with my nine to five, I realized actually, yes, I love time, but what I really enjoy is just like autonomy of my life. Like, I don't want to be having to ask for PTO or like I don't want to be micromanaged, like I want to work for myself, I won't listen to anyone else, unfortunately. Like, I I I don't I don't like listening to people, like I want to work for myself and build my own empire, and so that was my check-in of like, okay, this is now what's important to you. So, how do we get that? And I mean, it was get going full-time into business, and you know, I I found a part-time job because money is important, money is very important. Um, but I found a part-time job, and it's just so crazy how I found it, but also just what kind of part-time like the fact that I can choose my own hours is crazy. Work from home, like it just gives me so much autonomy over my life. And that's exactly what I wanted. And so, yeah, I I I don't think a messy middle is you going backwards. It's more of just like, okay, let's pause and think about what you really want and what's important to you. And maybe it is, you know, what you have right now, but as long as you pause and like think about it and check in with yourself, um, that's what's important. And then sometimes you might realize, like, okay, my current chapter is actually not what I want. And I want something different, and then it's okay, how do we, how do we get there? And so yeah, I don't, I I want to normalize the messy middle. And especially when you are, especially when you're growing. Like, I feel like so many of us um operate in adulthood because of what we've learned in the past, whether that's from our parents, like teachers, like whoever it it is, there's like so much unlearning that we have to do. So it makes sense why we're starting to question things and and realize, like, oh, actually, I don't care for that, or actually that's not important to me. Actually, success does not look like that. Success to me, that was something I had to go through, is redefining success. Like, it's not the awards, it's not the degrees, it's not the title. Success to me is being able to have lunch with my parents on a Wednesday at 11 a.m. Like, success is not living in fight or flight all the time. That's success to me. And so it's it's also redefining um like success and what what version of success you're chasing. Um, so yeah, I'm I'm very like, yeah, I'm sure I'm gonna come across another messy middle, but I'm like, I know I am prepared to handle it because I've I've gone through it before.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

So yeah. I love that. I can't I know because I remember, I remember seeing the shift in you. Like it's so cool to hear like your actual like internal process, because it was really cool to see the shift in you from like moving from Fresno back to the Bay and like you know, being near your family, being with your friends. Like it was, I remember like the first like trip you guys took, and like seeing all like Amanda was like living it, like she was doing all the things, and when you started dance, like when you got back to the dance, and just seeing like those transitions and those transformations, and just you could feel the energy shift every time you kind of went. You're I'm making myself cry because it's so sweet. Um, no, like you could you could tangibly feel the shift in watching you like every messy middle you navigated and every like iteration of you that came out, which is so cool. Like it is genuinely so cool to know that like you have taken that and you are now helping other women to do the same. Because I feel like that is the biggest piece where most of us get stuck is in the self-trust because we are, you know, especially as high achieving ambitious women, right? We are going, our identity has been built around, you know, we have to achieve, we have to do double because we're competing with the men who don't have to do twice, like half what we have to do in order to get the notoriety and get the jobs and get the pay. And so our identity is built around achievement and responsibility, or just being somebody for everybody else without even listening to what we want and what we need. And I love that you really take that and you focus on that self-trust and that navigation. Like it's just it's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

I think self-trust is huge, and that's um, I mean, I I feel like you you need self-trust. Everyone needs to trust themselves. I mean, in the workplace and in your relationship, like I remember, and this is something that I bring not just to like my relationship, but also my career. I remember my therapist when I first started going to therapy, it was for like relationship problems. And I remember telling her, like, I just don't trust him. Like, I don't trust him. And she said something to me that stuck for I mean, uh up until today, like forever, and always will. And I and I pass it down to my clients, and she was like, Yes, like you should have trust in him. That is important. It's important in a relationship, in a friendship. She was like, But the most important trust is with yourself. Like when you are saying, Oh, I don't trust him, internally, you're saying, I don't trust myself enough that if someone were to hurt me, if he were to hurt me and do something wrong, I don't trust myself enough to know that I'll be okay. Like you don't trust yourself that much. And that just changed how I view trust. And I think um even with my fiance, you know, we we got together when he asked me out, you know, we both talked about why we believe we're ready to enter relationship. And I told him, I said, you know, I trust you, but most importantly, I have so much self-trust in myself that if something were to happen, I would be sad. Yes. I was like, but I know I would be okay. I wouldn't lose myself in this relationship or this breakup, because that's always what I did. And that's the same thing with a job. And like your next chapter is knowing that you trust yourself enough to know that if something doesn't go the way it's you want to, or like something happens, you trust yourself enough to be like, Okay, yeah, this sucks. Not get stuck in it and be like, let's pivot. What what do we do? Like, you have to have that much trust in yourself that you could handle what's thrown at you. And so self-trust is huge. Relationship, friendships, your career, like just life. Um, yeah, and it's it's uh building my self-trust took a lot of work. Um especially because like I I I feel like in my last job, especially, I I was always questioning myself because I had like a micromanager, you know, but someone just always telling me what to do. I started to lose the trust in myself of like you know what you're you you're doing, you know you're capable of doing this. Um, but I built self-trust by just like little things of committing, like just completing things that I told myself I wanted to do and starting off really small. Um, and also even in my business, like when things didn't go my way, if a launch didn't go my way, or maybe a consultation call didn't go my way, I trusted myself to not let that stop me and like I would still keep showing up in my business. And so, yeah, self-trust is huge when you're in the messy middle. You get you have to trust yourself enough to know that everything will be okay, and you know how to you know how to handle the hard times.

SPEAKER_01 34:09

I love that. So I'm curious, okay. So talking a lot about self-trust, and I mentioned, you know, nervous system earlier, and I know previously, like when you I remember I think one of the first things you did was really focused on like nervous system and nervous system regulation. So with your new coaching, with your new program, what does that look like?

SPEAKER_02 34:38

Yeah, I have lots of different ways to regulate my nervous system that I like teaching my clients. It really depends on what they're experiencing. Um, a lot of times it's for me, movement really helps. Um, like especially when I get into I want to say fights, I like to shake like whatever, just shake all the energy out. Um dance, honestly. I if I hadn't gone back to dance, I probably wouldn't have made it as long as I did at my last, my last job because dance was a huge nervous system regulation. Yeah. Um, but I think a lot of it was just sitting in my feelings. I don't think we learned how to do that. Something that I noticed about myself was when I started my healing journey, I became very, uh, I wanna say like I was asking myself questions. I was very logical of like, why am I feeling this way? Oh, what what inner child wound is this? Like, I was very like curious and trying to figure everything out. And I realized I never sat with my feelings, like truly just sat in the discomfort. And I think that's a huge part of nervous system regulation, too, is just sitting with the fear, sitting with sadness, and just like letting it go throughout your body and moving it out. Um, I think once my client, uh, she I forgot what she was even going through. I think it was like maybe a friendship breakup or something like that that brought up a lot of feelings, and um she was journaling, and then she was also kind of toxic positivity of like it's okay, like you'll be fine, that kind of thing. And I'm like, girl, have you just like sat and like cried? And she's like, No, I'm like, yeah, just do that, just sit and just cry and let it out. Um, so there's just so many different ways to regulate your nervous system. Um, my favorite obviously is dance or just any type of type of movement uh definitely helps me.

SPEAKER_01 37:05

Yeah, no, I'm the same way. I literally I was telling I was telling my boyfriend the other day, because I'm like, we go to the gym together, and I'm just I'm not I like the gym, but I don't love it. I'm like, I want to dance. Like I'm gonna if I'm going to sweat, I want it to be dancing. I don't care if it's a class, I don't care if it's the club, I don't care if it's in my bedroom, I don't care. Like I'm that crazy person that you see on the highway, like jamming out in my car. Yeah, like a hundred. I'm like, there are probably people who think I'm absolutely insane driving around friends like that, but I don't care. It's like that, but I and it's so funny because you definitely notice the shift in your body when you embrace whatever way. Because that's the thing too, is so many people feel that, you know, if they're not doing it this way, they're not doing it the right way, um, but acknowledging that what works for you may not work for, you know, somebody else. And I wanted to kind of touch on like, you know, how do you kind of navigate that with your clients? Because there might be one who, you know, dance is their thing, like, you know, and that is how you can, you know, have them to do that, but maybe, maybe that movement of that type, or they're not, they're like, that's just not for me at all. Like, how do you how do you navigate through that? Because at the same time, too, like there are certain pieces, they still everybody have like everybody needs to sit with it. Everybody needs like there are certain pieces that everybody needs to do, but how do you kind of navigate determining and then teaching what works for one person versus another?

SPEAKER_02 38:47

Honestly, it's like one of those things where it's like you don't know what you don't know, and so usually I'll give suggestions, and if they're like, yeah, that didn't work, I'm like, okay, we'll find something else. It's it's honestly just trying and testing things out. Um, like I know for me when I'm upset, like I can shake sometimes, and then my one of my coaches suggested like taking ice and like throwing it on the ground. And like that did kind of help me, but it didn't get a lot of my rage out. So what I do is I will just rage journal. I'll just like ri write in my journal. I mean, I remember going through a breakup and I had to a lot of rage. And so I had a whole page of like fuck you, fuck you, like just so mad just to like get everything out, like everything I needed to say just out. And then, you know, I kind of calmed down after that. So with my clients, and that's what um I love about my program. It's very, it's custom, like whatever you're going through, it like you said, what might work for one woman might not work for another woman. Another woman might be a little further in her messy middle than another person. Like they come to me with what they're experiencing in that real moment and we'll deal with it then. And I it's a lot of just like trial and error and just like trying things. Um, I usually will give them things that have worked for me and then and then we'll see from there.

SPEAKER_01 40:26

Yeah, so that's I like that. That's really good. So for the woman listening right now, who maybe they know something needs to change, but they're scared of making the wrong decision, right? Maybe they haven't thought about trying multiple things, or they're scared to try more than one thing because you know it's it's scary to try new things or making the wrong decision.

SPEAKER_02 40:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:51

What would be one thing that you would want them to remember as they navigate that messy middle?

SPEAKER_02 41:00

I feel like that when you think of like, oh, I don't, and I've done this too, where I've been like, oh my god, I don't want to make the wrong decision. Um I reframe it. Like when you say, Oh, I I don't want to make the wrong decision, it's like saying that the universe or God or whatever higher source you believe in is gonna punish you for something. And I just don't believe in that. And also, and I I taught or I told my one of my clients this, she, you know, she had a goal in mind, and she was like, oh, like I don't I don't want to make the wrong decision. Like, I I I don't have the full roadmap yet to get there, and I don't want to make the wrong decision. And I told her, I was like, honestly, I feel like life is kind of like a GPS, right? We have a destination that we want to go to, and yeah, what happens when you make a wrong turn? Like it that shit fucking reroutes in the end. You always get to where you wanna be, like you're always gonna get there. It might take a little longer, you might have to go through, you know, some rough terrain, like whatever it is, you you're always gonna get there, like in route in your life. The reroutes in the GPS are just like life where you just pivot, you just pivot, you know. Just because something didn't happen the way you expected it to, that's okay. Like, you know how to pivot. And one thing, women, we always figure shit out. We just do women, eldest daughters, like children of immigrants, you know, mothers, single mothers, like we figure shit out. Women always fucking do. And I think women need to remember that is that, and that's something else is like what I like to remind my clients, and I have them sometimes where they're like, oh, I don't want to make the wrong decision. And I have them write down a list of like when have you made a decision that maybe didn't turn out the way you planned, but you were able to figure it out. Yeah, there's you would have a list of things, and that's just proof that if you take that leap and something happens, like you're gonna be fine. Like, look at in life, you have so much proof that you are able to always figure shit out.

SPEAKER_01 43:20

Yeah, I love oh my god, it's so funny. So, in I okay, so I have had up until very recently, I've had a very bad relationship with money, as I feel like most women do. Yes, right. We money mindset and women, it is it is a whole topic for a whole other day. And you know, talking about about this is because this is something that I remind myself often because so I left my abusive marriage in 2021 and I had to completely figure everything out. Well, one of those things was finances, because yes, I I have done photography since 2016, but it was an abusive marriage. Every time I would see a significant amount of success, that would trigger all the things, you know, the cycle. Without going too far into that. So it was never sustainable. And so it was once I was on my own, it was like I had proof, but then I didn't. And then I had proof and then I didn't. So I didn't have any proof to really fall back on. But I was a single mom of two kids now. So you gotta fucking figure it out. You don't have a choice. Like you, you, you literally don't have to. And so, you know, I did what I had to. And there were some months that some things didn't get paid, and other months other things got paid when you know, and it got shifted around. And literally, up until Jose and I have been together, it'll be two years in like a week. Like since we I know, like since we officially started dating, and it that's a whole other story. We'll get into another time because I was sitting there and I'm like, this is literally two years ago. Almost this exact same situation happened. You left, new job, all the things. Anyway, and so literally up until probably the beginning of this year, I had been existing in the red every single month financially for the entire time since 2021 when I left my ex-husband. And he would like it would give him so much anxiety because he's like, How the fuck did you do it? Like, I had no choice, man. Like, I literally had no choice. And then I will reflect back on that when I'm like, Well, something's not going, or I can't do something. Yes, I fucking can because I literally did it. And back then I didn't have the support that I have now. So if I was able to do all of this shit without support and without a system, why am I trying to tell myself that I can't do it now?

SPEAKER_02 45:48

Yep, exactly. And it's it's you you do what you can, and I think that I mean, I financial security was a huge thing when leaving my nine to five, and there was a moment where I was like, I have no clue how I'm gonna pay a rent because my short-term disability got denied, and I was depending on that. Like, I'm fucking filing appeal for that, but that's whatever. But like money was an issue, and so even my my fiance is very like realistic, logical, and I'm like, I'm a delulu, delulu's the salulu, like everything's gonna work out. But then, like, I had to acknowledge I first I had to sit with the fear and acknowledge, like, okay, I actually name my fear Ferdinand because I like to name my emotions to like humanize it, and so like when I feel fear, I'll be like, Okay, what the fuck is up, Ferdinand? Like, what what are you doing here? Like, what's the issue? And like acknowledging that fear is there. Cause I think before I was like, everything's fine, ever I'm gonna make it work, Lino. But I had to first acknowledge that the fear of money was um there, and it's kind of like you said you figure it out in whatever way you need to. What works for you works for you. It might not be uh, you know, an option for another person, but like for me, what I had to do and I had to work through this mindset was I got a loan, you know, and I had to work through this, like, because I believed that oh, if you take out a loan, you're you're not good with money, you're and goes back to like you're not smart enough. And it it basically triggered my I'm not good enough wound. Like I'm not good enough or smart enough to know how to save money and manage my money, and that's why I have to take out a loan. So I had to go through that whole mindset of like just because I take out a loan does not mean that. I'm not gonna allow myself to attach that story to taking out a loan with the situation I'm in now and I need money, I'm gonna take out a loan because that will help my anxiety and my stress. And I took out a loan and now I'm like more calm, and because before it was just like, okay, how am I gonna be paying for rent plus all the other bills? And um, you figure it out. And while some might like think, hear this and be like, what the fuck, girl? Why did you take out a loan? If it doesn't work for you, it's not that's why you didn't do it, but I did it because it worked for me. And I think with women, we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women and what they do, like whatever works for you, do it. Yeah, with whatever works with the situation you're in and the circumstances, do it. Like, if if you really if money is really um an issue, like do what you have to. Um but also I had to remind myself that there are so many ways to make money. Um that like and money is very much energy, and if you are like it's kind of like a relationship, or money is like a hot guy, like you know, when you are looking a hot guy and you're like, Oh, I want him, like hella desperate for him. That guy is not gonna come to you. Guys don't like desperate women, they don't. No, um, but if you're kind of like, oh, I'll let you come to me, like you then the money comes to you. And I think I had a lot of proof of that when I was on leave of oh yeah, money can come in many different ways. And like, for example, um, I had an opportunity to be like a backup dancer for this up-and-coming artist in the Bay Area, a way to make money, and I was like, Oh, that that is so not conventional, you know, it was I didn't think that would happen. You know, I'm starting to get into UGC, and you know, that's another way to make money. Um, there are just so, so many ways. And something I try to remind myself is if whatever it is, if that's an if it's inevitable, it's obviously gonna happen, how would you act? If what you want, it's it's already in your future, it's already written in the stars. How are you gonna show up if it's already written in the stars? And so for me, it was okay, if I'm gonna have enough money for rent or if I'm gonna be able to pour into my business, how am I gonna show up? And I'm just gonna keep showing up. Um, applying to jobs, you know, part-time jobs, and I was able to get a part-time job that was just like so magical. Um, but yeah, I think money is a a real thing, but you do you gotta do what you gotta do.

SPEAKER_01 50:42

Yeah, oh man, I could literally think there's so many pieces on that that I could relate and go back and forth, but are we we might just have to do a whole nother episode because I'm just sitting here and I'm like, what the heck? Like, that is that is crazy. Like, okay, anyway, we're not gonna get into that because I want to, before I give you an opportunity, because I definitely want you to let everybody know about this new program, uh where they can find you, how they can get into the program. Yeah, um, but before we do that, I want to ask one closing question. And that is what is one edit that you've made in your life that has had the biggest impact on the woman you've become today? And I know that's like really hard to narrow it down to one, but what would be the one biggest edit that you've made in your life?

SPEAKER_02 51:36

It's so funny that you mentioned that because I was telling one of my friends, like, I've accomplished a lot a lot in life. Um, you know, Emmy Awards, like other awards for journalism, you know, I was a TEDx speaker, like I have accomplished a lot um as a journalist, but also just like as a person. And I think the proudest moment for me and the edit I made in my life was just betting on myself and doing, I'm like getting emotional because it's like you look at my resume and you think like that should be the proudest thing, but like no, the the one thing I'm most proud of was leaving my nine to five, honestly. Like that was the scariest thing I've ever done. Um, but I'm so proud I did it, and that is an edit in my life that I will honestly be proud of myself for doing, but just like really grateful that I I went through the whole process leading up to that edit. So yeah, leaving my nine to five and really listening to myself that that was the biggest thing.

SPEAKER_01 52:47

I love that. I mean, and and look where it has gotten you now. Like, honestly, like the the Amanda, and I still can't believe that that was six years ago. Like, that blows my mind. I'm like, oh shoot, like I've really known you and followed you and been around for six years. Like, that's crazy. Yeah, you've seen like all versions of me. I've seen all of the iterations, and it's so crazy. But like when I was like, when I when I said that earlier, like that was not like I literally meant like you can see the transformation of just like it's just the energy. Like, yes, you were like, yes, you were great at news, and yes, like you were like you were great at your job and you loved it, but the energy that you give off now versus then, even like the transition between like the last nine to five and all of it, like you can see, you can physically see and feel the energy and the change. And so I just love that.

SPEAKER_02 53:50

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 53:51

And I love that you help other women.

SPEAKER_02 53:53

Thank you. You know, that's I and I'm like, you know, that's what happens when you listen to yourself and you you remove your remove things that just don't serve you anymore, because then you it attract, you know, what's meant to be in your life and things that are like make you happy and like bring joy to your life. And so, and then how you show up in the world, you know, reflects that. And so thank you. That that honestly means a lot to me. I love that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:25

Well, as much as I want to continue this conversation and could continue this conversation forever, I want to give you an opportunity to um give, you know, a little bit more information about your program, how they can join, where they can find you. Because if you are not already connected with Amanda, you absolutely need to be.

SPEAKER_02 54:43

So yes, so um, once again, I am working with women who have outgrown their old life and they're ready to step into a new chapter, but uh don't know exactly quite how to do that yet, or even what that looks like. Um, they're scared and so they're in this messy middle. Um, I just opened my one-on-one private coaching for that, and I'm super excited because again, this is a program that is just very personal to me. Um, and I just want to normalize this season in a woman's life and also prepare her, you know, because there's gonna be many messy messy middles. And so if you are interested, definitely follow me on Instagram, a Aguilar TV. Go ahead and shoot me a DM if you want to learn more. But if in my Instagram bio, if you go there, you can book a consultation call and we could talk more about the program if you want to learn more. But if you are just interested in it, just DM me and tell me you're interested, and then we'll go through the next steps. But yeah, really excited that I launched this program. Um, yeah, it just feels very, very special to me because a lot of it is, you know, things that I went through. And I think I wanted to show or launch this program to show women that like if I can make it out of many messy middles, it's also possible for you too.

SPEAKER_01 56:12

Oh, thank you so much. I love that. Yeah, so all of that will be in the show notes. Um, I will be making sure that you guys have a way to connect with Amanda again. If you are not, you need to be. Um, you definitely need to check out this program because I mean, like, if I mean, we're all gonna be in it. If you're not in it right now, and I feel like, like I said, 2026 is the year that I feel like we're all we're all in the messy middle.

SPEAKER_02 56:39

We're all kind of like what is going on.

SPEAKER_01 56:43

Yeah, we're like, nah, this this version, this version is not gonna make it to the next one. We need to we need to pick that up and and go. But yeah, thank you so much for being on, Amanda.

SPEAKER_02 56:56

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 56:59

Yes. Well, I hope that we will have you back on. And yeah, until next time.

SPEAKER_00 57:09

If this episode shifted something for you, don't just leave it here because you can't grow in isolation, and trying to will only slow down what you're actually capable of. And that's exactly why the Legacy Edit membership exists. It's a structure space designed to support how you grow across the three areas that actually move everything forward. You, your relationships, and your business. In fact, you're setting into monthly conversations that challenge how you think and how you show up. Not surface-level conversations, but to try to actually shift your standards and your decisions. You're getting quarterly content planning, so your visibility stays consistent and aligned, no more guessing what to say or when to show up, and you'll have access to expert conversations that expand how you move in all areas of your life. And you're in a room with people who are actually applying what they're learning. Because when you're in the right room, everything gets clearer. If you're ready for that level of direction and support, you'll find the next steps in the show notes. And if this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss what's coming next. You can also connect with me on Instagram, Sarah Nicole Creative. I would love to hear what landed for you. I'll see you in the next episode and inside the Legacy Edit membership.