Well Done, You Just Argued With Yesterday

You can do everything “right” and still feel like nothing shifts. That’s usually the moment to question the hidden assumption behind how you’re responding to life. I’m Vicky Ross, and today I’m sharing a perspective that can stop the frustration loop mid-spin: when you react to what you see, you’re often reacting to something that’s already finished. What looks like “current reality” is frequently the result of earlier thoughts, feelings, expectations and unconscious patterns finally showing up on the outside.

We break down the inside-out sequence I teach through an NLP lens: thoughts create feelings, feelings drive actions, and actions create results. If you only fight the result, you’re trying to change what has already been created. Instead, we use the outside world as a calibration tool. The way people respond to you, the outcomes you keep getting, even the triggers that set you off can become data. Not to blame yourself, but to reclaim choice. When you shift who you are being, your response changes, and the ripple effect reaches your behaviour, your energy and your results.

I also give you a simple practice for the next time something winds you up: pause, ask what you’re assuming, and decide whether that assumption is helping you or repeating you. If you’re ready to stop “fixing” life and start creating it, press play, then share what you notice. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find Rise Up Podcast.

Transcript

Welcome And The Core Idea

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hi and welcome to Rise Up Podcast. My name is Vicky Ross and I am your host. Today I want to talk about the fact, the idea that when we are reacting in life, so when you are reacting to a reality or what you think is a reality, I'd like to now just put a spoke at the wheels and tell you that that reality has already finished. So what you're reacting to is to your past rather than to what is actually true. I know. When I thought about it, I was reading a book and I thought about it, I thought, oh, this is a bit of a mind fuck, to be honest. But I really think it's very, very important and vital, and therefore I wanted to bring this to you. Right, so let's get going. So I'm going to bring the explanation from a slightly different angle because I think that will make more sense. People don't come to me because they don't know what to do. They come to me because they are doing everything that they know how to do, and yet they feel that something is missing or something is not working, something just doesn't feel 100%, and they're a little bit lost. So they will be thinking about things or adjusting or trying to figure it out, and nothing is shifting, time passes, things happen, they respond to the same thing, and it's just irritating. And this is where things get interesting. So right now you might be looking at your life and the way that you react to what you see, to what people are saying, or the way you're thinking, and then what you're observing. So constantly, this is what we do. It's a feedback loop, you know, what we see on the outside, what we experience, we then process and we respond. So typically we respond to results, we respond to our clients, our bank accounts, the relationships, the weather, all that kind of stuff, politics, all that. And it feels logical, of course it does, because you're thinking, well, this is what's happening, you know, this is what I'm seeing. So I need to respond to it. And we've been taught to actually think that this is how it works and this is how it is. So this is where it gets confusing because you're doing what makes sense and what is logical and what you think is expected of you. But it's irritating and frustrating because you're not getting change and you're not getting the results that you want, and you're not living life on your terms. And that is the biggest frustration, I think, here. Especially when you're looking on social media and you're seeing so many people of all ages, groups, backgrounds, and they are invertebracus living life on their terms. We don't really know. But it seems like they are, and you're thinking, why can they do it and I can't? What is it that I am not doing correct, or what am I doing wrong? Or so there must be something that is missing, and I think that is where the confusion comes in. So there's something that what I would say is that you're not seeing. So I'm hoping that as you kind of maybe you need to pause the the the podcast to think, okay, so where am I unsatisfied or dissatisfied or unhappy, whatever you want to call it, in my life? Because it's very seldom that I meet people that everything in life is bad. They might only be looking at all that's wrong and therefore feel that everything is bad, but the truth is, is not everything is bad. So let's let's let's look a little bit at changing this from a different perspective. We tend to, like I said earlier on, that things happen, somebody will say something to you, you will observe something, or you'll see somebody doing something, whatever, whatever, all of that kind of stuff. The government makes an announcement, you see something on social media, and then you react, you respond. What you haven't actually thought about is that everything that you're seeing is actually finished. It's the past. You're always reacting to past things. So, where does this idea come from? Where is it that it this is done? This is already being created. What I'm seeing has been created. So, why am I reacting to what has been created? What we don't realize is that the result of what was in our minds and our hearts and our energetic came before the actual creation. So when you see what's been created and then you react, what you're actually reacting to is a past creation. What does that mean? Okay. Everything starts on the inside and then it goes on the outside. So when I teach NLP, the way that I teach it is that thoughts create feelings, feelings create actions, actions create results. But it's a lot more complex than that. That's a very, very simple version. But I want you to think about it this way is that your body cannot function with instructions, without instructions. So if you think about a baby, a baby or a toddler that hasn't been taught how to go and make coffee cannot even process the idea of making coffee, never mind getting up and going to make coffee, because it's not something it actually has. It has no resource, it hasn't got the step-by-step of what I need to do. Like I need to get up, I need to walk to the kitchen, I need to go to the kettle, I need to switch on the kettle, I need to make sure the kettle's got water, I need to take out a mug. You know, the whole process of making coffee. We do it so unconsciously that we take it for granted. The truth is that whatever triggers the desire for you to have a cup of coffee already triggers and creates the step-by-step process internally before your body actually gets up and goes to the kitchen to make the coffee. In other words, everything that happens on the outside and everything that we witness on the outside first happens on the inside. It happens inside you, inside your mind. And what happens is that we send, because we are electromagnetic beings, so we send pulses out, we send the message out electronically, vibrationally, frequency. You always hear about, oh, we've got to raise our frequency, we've got to raise our vibrations, we've got to watch about what we are putting out there. So if all of that is true, what I'm putting out there, then everything that I put out there when it comes back is what I can actually see and witness. And I think now you're starting to realize, oh, so everything that I'm seeing is something that already has happened. It is a vibration, a frequency, an idea, a desire that I have already put out there, and now I'm witnessing it. So therefore, the outside is actually better to be seen as a calibration kind of machine that you are. So, in other words, if what I see on the outside, and it could be the way that somebody speaks to me, it's not the way that I wanted. All that we can then think about is not that I'm being disrespected, is that I am behaving in a way that's telling the other person that this is okay. So I need to calibrate myself, I need to change my attitude, my way of being so that the outside can change. And there's lots of different ways of doing that. You know, some I can't get specific right now. But I want you to always think about that people will treat you the way you teach them to behave around you. So if somebody's disrespecting you, it's because you've actually taught them to disrespect you and say that even if I'm uncomfortable, it's okay. So if you start looking at the outside as a calibration machine rather than, oh my goodness, this is the reality that I'm living, then you can start slowing things down, taking an assessment to know whether you're on track with what you want or that you're not. So basically, what what you can start doing is you can start focusing on the results that you want and start asking yourself, who is the person that has this life? Who do I need to become? Because, you know, we look at people that are, for instance, very successful, and we ask ourselves, why are they successful? And I'm not. And it might be that they are successful because they are not that bothered by the responses they get from social media from strangers, whereas you might be. You might be worried about what people are going to think if you put out your podcasts or you put out a live or whatever, you might be worried about what people are going to think. So therefore, you don't do it and you don't put yourself out there so much. So there's already a difference in the behavior. So again, we can look to see about what the outside is showing us as a feedback loop to what we need to adjust and fine-tune so that we can start getting the things that we want. So if you see something that you don't like, the first thing is to not react. The reaction creates a feeling, and that feeling drives your thinking, and your thinking then drives your next action. And the next action which comes from a reaction is never going to be the one that you want. So it just creates more of the same thing. And here's the thing: because we live 95% of the time unconsciously, you don't see it. And that's the frustration that it's when somebody can point it out, when somebody listens to the way you speak and goes, Oh, there you said it again. Oh, look at the way you're looking at it. This is what I do with my clients all the time. And half the time they laugh and then they go, Oh my god, yeah, you're so right, you're so right. And it's not about me being right, it's about them getting an awareness of themselves. So we don't fix a situation when you see something from the outside, you don't react. So we don't force, we don't forcing your results. You know what's that saying that they say that the sound of madness is doing the same thing over and over with a hope of a different result. The results that you're getting is because of the actions that you get making, by the feelings that you've got, by the thinking that you've got. So if you want to change the actions, you can't force what's already happened to change. You have to change from the beginning. You have to go right back to what's the belief, the paradigm that creates the thought, that creates the feeling, that creates your action. So instead of asking, why is this happening? Because it's happening because it happened, uh, you ask, What am I doing right now that is recreating this? So here's something that you can do next time something triggers you. Pause. And then you ask yourself, what am I assuming right now? And then you can ask yourself, is that assumption helping me or is it repeating me? You know, say my doing the same thing over. And if it's repeating you, you have to then consciously choose something different. And it's not about fake positive thinking, it's not pretending, it's about understanding that you're the creator of your life. So just a different way of seeing it means I'm choosing as the creator, I'm choosing a different way, and you're entitled to that as the creator. Because the moment you see it differently and you choose something different, your response will change. And when your response changes, your energy changes, your vibration, your frequency changes, and then your outcome will change. So this is not just about behavior, it's about who you're being when you respond. Because if that stays the same, then everything stays the same, and that's okay if that's what you want, but if you want your life to change, you've got to change your life. It's a bit of an obvious thing, but it's not as easy as it sounds. So I just want you to know you're not stuck, you're not doing it wrong, but just reacting to something that already has been created. And the moment you can see that, you can stop trying to fix your life but start to create the way you want it. The moment you can see it, you can't go back to not seeing it. And that's where everything changes. When you see it, and then it's your choice. Do I keep repeating this because it serves me in this way, or do I change it because I want something different? I hope this is giving you some food for thought. And I would be curious to hear how this starts to show up. That as you start to notice it, you go, My goodness, this is what Vicky was talking about on her program. I'd love for you to share it with me. And if you want to do more of this work, there's loads of ways to work with me. You can join my beautiful membership community. The links are in the show notes. You can work one-on-one with me, you can join me at a retreat, just reach out, let me know. Let's have a conversation, and for the rest, share it with somebody that you think wow they need to hear this. This is triggering an idea that somebody else also needs to hear this, and please share it with them. Give us a thumbs up, subscribe, rate my show. I would be very, very grateful if you do that. And for the rest, I'm wishing you a good week and hears to your success.