10. THE CARPOOL CHRONICLES: JIU-JITSU, THRILLERS, & THE TRUTH ABOUT LOSING

We made it to double digits! To celebrate Episode 10, we’re ditching the formal studio setup and hiding out in Amanda’s brand-new car for a classic "gab sesh." No scripts, no agendas. Just two girlfriends decompressing, yapping, and getting real about the "dumpster fire" world outside.

From geriatric pregnancies to psychological thrillers, we’re covering the wide, weird spectrum of our current obsessions. If you’ve ever felt like you’re oscillating between being a high-achieving professional and a brain-rotted reality TV fan, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we chat about:

• The "Third Space" Concept: Why we all need a place outside of home (1st space) and work (2nd space) to find community, and how jujitsu became that for Leni.
• Competitive Spirits: A cautionary tale about why you never want to be on Amanda’s mom’s team during holiday charades.
• Healthy Losing: How competing in a jujitsu bracket you’re "guaranteed to lose" is actually a powerful lesson for our kids.
• The Book Club & Bravo Rot: Amanda’s deep dive into Ruth Ware’s thrillers vs. Lenicia’s love for dark, sad, South American cult novels and whimsical K-dramas.
• The Gay Awakening: Lenicia reveals the 1997 rom-com scene that changed everything.
• The "Unreliable Narrator": Why we love books that make us question our own sanity (shoutout to The Sympathizer).

Whether you’re a "Master's Division" athlete or a "Below Deck" flyer, join us in the driveway for a much-needed breath of air.

"To-Read" List Mentioned:

• In a Dark, Dark Wood by Ruth Ware
• The Perfect Couple by Ruth Ware
• The Sympathizer by Viet Thanh Nguyen
• Democracy in Retrograde by Sami Sage and Emily Amick

Connect with Us:

• Instagram: @exploresacliving | @leniyourloanofficer

Help us celebrate 10 episodes! Leave us a review or DM us on Instagram with your own "Crying or Thriving" moment from this week. We’d love to feature it in a future episode!

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Connect with Leni Lopez (Your Lender Bestie)
Instagram: @leniyourloanofficer
Ready to talk lending or get preapproved? Email her team: leni@hawkinshl.com
Website: LopezNguyen.com
Mortgage Loan Officer
NMLS 1366630/225910
Hawkins Home Loans, Inc.

Connect with Amanda (Your Realtor Bestie)
Instagram: @exploresacliving
Email: amanda@exploresacliving.com
Website: Exploresacliving.com 
Curious about buying or selling in Sacramento County or beyond? Schedule a no pressure call: calendly.com/amandafreemanrealtor
Amanda Freeman | eXp | DRE 02150573

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Realty Check, the podcast about the real lives of agents, lenders, and moms who do it all. We're here for the honest conversations behind the business, the family, and everything in between.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Let's get into it.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Well, hey! What's up, my friends? Oh my gosh, this is so fun. So we are hiding in my car right now in my driveway because, you know, this is episode number 10. So we sure is. We have we've done 12 episodes, but two of them were interviews, and so we're calling those like extras. Or uh, and so this is our 10th episode, and it was episode number five that the world was really on fire, and we like needed to take a deep breath and like decompress. And so when we were talking about what to do for episode 10, I was like, you know what? I really liked just chatting.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

And so I thought it could be a great gab sesh day where we could just just chat, just be two girlfriends and you know me, I have a hard time talking.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

You know, it's not like I'm a yapper or anything. So when she's mentioned this, I was like, oh yeah, let's let's do this. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

And then now we're heading in my car, which is my brand new car, which is fun too.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

I know. I was like, who are we? I felt like uh what's that Jerry Seinfeld show where like he like drove around with people?

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Driving with comedians or something. Yeah, is that that one? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

That's how I felt when you asked me to do this. I was like, yeah, we're cool.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

We're cool like that. And the video fits in the car.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

Heck yeah, it does. We've got our drinks, we are good to go. This might sound really weird, but since I'm backed up so far, I feel like I have a really small head.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

I am pretty close.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

No, no, don't worry, don't worry. It's okay, I do have a small head. Um, it's just I mean, I a big head energy, but small head physically. It's okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

I look like I'm balding because I didn't wash my hair this morning, so it's all slicked back and um Oh man.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

Well, anywho, I know we're gonna be yapping this whole time, but still. Crying, thriving, what's going on, my friend? Oh god.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Um I guess, yes. I mean, I we'll just get into it since this whole episode is just gonna be pretty much a a giant crying or thriving. Yeah. But uh we are, uh I think the last episode I chatted about how my son was sick over spring break, and they were like, eh, it's probably a sinus infection. They gave him some because they couldn't figure out what else it was, and so they gave him some antibiotics, and so he's finally on the mid. He's finally doing great. And then my husband came home from work early. In fact, it was the day that we, the last day that we recorded, yeah, and he we had just finished recording, and I hear the garage door open, I'm like, Michael, like you're not supposed to be here at home yet. Like, what are you doing here? And he's like, I don't feel well. And so he went into bed and he like he was in bed for two days, could not eat, could not like sleep, like could two whole nights of not sleeping. Finally sent him to the doctor on um Saturday because he was like, I, you know, I don't want to pay to do, you know, the um emergency room or whatever. And I'm like, yeah, well, at this point, like And you said he doesn't usually have the man flail ale, right? No, he doesn't. And so I was sleeping at the on the couch at this point because I'm like, I don't want whatever you have. And so Love you, but stay away. I'm sleeping on the couch and I just hear uh from the bedroom in the middle of the night. I texted you, I was like, you know Colin from Secret Garden? I was gaggling when you sent me that time. That was essentially my husband, and I'd be like, like, not only am I getting up for my kids, but I'm now getting up to figure out why my husband is moaning and is he like dying on me. And your daughter wasn't feeling good. And she also was not feeling well, and so like between the two of them and sleeping on the couch, I'm like, this is awful. But we got him to the doctor on Saturday and and he tested positive for strep. Yeah. Yeah, you know, super contagious. I think in our last episode, we were also talking about how strep is going around at the school right now. So now I'm curious because he had a lot of Jackson and Michael's symptoms were not strep related. Like they were both really congested. Both of them said so much head pressure, like behind the eyes and the head, and like just things that are not typically. Yeah. Strep was like the one thing that Jackson did not get tested for. And so um once Jack once Michael was tested positive for strep, and we realized that uh their symptoms were the same. Now it now it's kind of that lingering and that the antibiotics got rid of whatever was bothering Jackson. I was like, maybe he did have stretch. He might have. I mean, he wasn't complaining, like the whole thing though is he wasn't complaining about his throat. So I wonder if you can like I don't know if that would be a carrier or a sleep sleeper cell, essentially. I don't know. But where like you have all the other symptoms, but not the sore throat.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

I mean, it has been making its round in the neighborhood, so I I wouldn't be surprised.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Do you know multiple people who have had strep?

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Yeah. And she's locked in a car with me right now. I know. In very close quarters. I am. And I will came here again after I just saw them on Friday. I know.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

And I I told her. I mean, I I was like, I feel fine, but you know, it could be coming. Maybe I'm maybe I'm the carrier.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

Maybe I just like you know what, just rub some dirt on it. You know, I ate a lot of I drank out of a hose growing up. I I'm okay. Yeah. I don't get sick that often.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

So the last time that you said you like to say this. And then the last time you said that, two days later, you're like, I'm going in for a strep test. I don't feel good.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

And I didn't have strep? You didn't, but you also didn't feel well, so and my throat did hurt. Funny enough. You know what's funny? On Friday, so your husband came home, and uh well, after we're done recording, I was like, Can I stay here and work real fast? And so I was like working on my computer, and I started like just you know, griping about everything and anything, and I'm complaining to a man, I'm like, blah blah blah, this person blah blah blah. I'm just in a complaining mood. And then I get up from my chair and I look and I notice that Michael was right there on the couch and he like had heard me. I was acting, you know, you know how it is, right? Like when you're around like your close friends, you act a certain way, and then when you're around others, you kind of take it back a little bit. Like, I'm I'm not close enough to your husband yet that I like I'm used to being my full self around him. He gotta experience you.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

He got to pull it, and I was just like, that's embarrassing. I don't know why you think that's embarrassing. I mean, our our kids are on the same t-ball team and stuff. Like, he's seen you in mom mode, he's seen you with kids. Like, yeah, there's a difference though of that and like I don't know. You know. We also, you also are like that on our podcast. I mean, he he doesn't listen to the podcast, but you're you're not certainly not afraid to be yourself. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

I just wasn't I wasn't I wasn't expecting it.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

I was like, oh I'm being perceived, you know, like you can see it in um like our other videos because we do a lot of recording on my couch, and there's behind us when we're on the couch, there's like a giant window in the wall. On the other side of that window is our kitchen, and then my workspace. Eventually it'll be our dining room table, but for now it's just easier for that to be my workspace. Yeah. And uh, and so we were hanging out in the workspace, and my husband was uh chilling on the couch, and so you know that Lenny stood up and she peeked over the window and was like, oh, there's someone on the couch.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

I mean, like he was like literally less than six feet away from me. And I am just like, I was just like, oh fuck. Sorry, I'm literally yelling at a sick man right now.

SPEAKER_01 8:05

Oh my god. Well, how are you? What's like the latest with you?

SPEAKER_00 8:10

Um everything's kind of going well right now. I mean, we've talked about this before, like, the world is literally a dumpster fire, but like on in what I could control, I feel like it's going pretty well.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

Also, I mean, good news that Victor Orban was just voted out and didn't try to say it was a stolen election or anything like that. That was crazy. I'll call that a win. That was that was a win. The world is on fire.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Um, but personally, um, so you all might not know this, but I started doing jujitsu in October of 2024. Um, it's been a great journey for me because, you know, just getting back to being athletic again and being around people, and it has really become like a third space for me. You know? Um explain what a third space is. Not everyone may be familiar with that space. Absolutely. So first space would be your home, right? Um, second space would be your work, and then your third space is a place that you can go to have community without having to force it.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Um, so think of the show Friends, right? Their third space was that coffee shop. They didn't have to let each other know that they were going there, they could just show up and probably run into one of one of each other. So the thing is, as we've gone by in the years, we've really lost our third space here in the United States. And it's that's probably why a lot of people long for like religion and community. Absolutely. And then when we had COVID happen, most of us lost our second spaces. Oh yeah. Most of us now, so now everything is done at home. Your work is home, your your living is at home. You don't really communicate with people. And so I really wanted to find a third space. Um, I did college water polo and I've done other like uh like team-oriented sports, and I was talking and I was like, you know what? A lot of my family does jujitsu, why don't I try it out?

SPEAKER_02 10:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Um, there's a tenth planet near my house. Why don't I go? And I did it and I loved it. They were all super nice, super inviting, super welcoming, and I've been doing it for a while. And anywho, this upcoming weekend I am going to compete for my very first time. Yay! Um, I am still a white belt. I'm still a very green white belt, even though I've been doing it for this long, because I have a very hard time retaining things sometimes. Um, and so, anyways, I'm I'm most likely going to lose because I had to go up a weight bracket as well. Okay, so there's brackets, right? So you usually want to compete some with people around the same age as you and the same weight class as you. So since I'm over 30, I'm technically in the master's. Okay. So white belt masters. Geriatrics. Yeah, geriatrics essentially. They have a better way of saying that. So I'm a white belt master's.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

Now they should call them master pregnancies instead of geriatrics. They should. You know what? Let's We gotta get this too. There we go.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

Okay, sorry, sorry. Yes. From now on, I'm gonna be like, oh, you have a master's pregnancy? That's a master's pregnancy. That's a master's pregnancy. Probably. Hell yeah, I like that. Okay. Um master's division. And then um, I usually weigh around 143 pounds. Um, but since I've been working out a lot more, I've gained more weight. Yeah. Um, which isn't a bad thing. Like I must be able to do it. Honestly, I feel I feel really hot right now. Like I feel like my body's looking really nice. You get hit on all the time. You are really hot right now. Um and so uh you're very sweet. Um so so the weight bracket I was gonna be in was uh 136 to 145. Okay. And I was I was I'm usually 143. Well, I weighed myself and I weighed 147, and I was like, oh, do I wanna cut weight? And I was like, no, no. For something that I'm doing purely for fun, yeah, why am I going to make myself possibly like get an eating disorder again? Yeah. And so I was like, I'm not doing it. And so instead, I'm getting bumped up to the 145 to 160 bracket. So I'm gonna be at the very bottom of the bracket. I'm also not very good. This is my first competition, so I'm going in, I'm not going in pessimistically, I'm going in realistically. Okay. And so I'm I'm probably not gonna win, guys. Okay. I'm w when I come back, and if you guys want to know, I'm probably not gonna come back telling you how to win. Right. Um, but I was saying that I think it's gonna be really good because my four-year-old will be there with me. Yeah. And he he's going through that stage of like not liking losing. Like, you know. Yes, I yes. So like when you play board games with them, like they'll like try and like throw it at the end if they're losing and stuff like that, or just getting really angry or wanting to be like, I'm faster, I'm this, I'm that. Yeah. And I think he he sees me work out, he goes with me to the gym. And so, and he always talks about mama, you're so strong, which is like is awesome for like us to have that relationship. But I think him going and watching me do something that is out of my comfort zone that I'm probably not the best at, and that I will probably lose at, and that I'm gonna still be happy, I think that's gonna be a really good thing for him to see. Really, really cool. Because like, I don't know about you, but like my parents didn't like do stuff like that growing up. And I didn't get to see healthy losing from like the adults in my life.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Um, can I do a sidebar for this? Okay. Tangent. I mean I mean, I like I I don't wanna take your very lovely story, and but you just said parents and uh healthy losing, and I'm sorry, mom, but I'm just gonna bring it up, okay?

SPEAKER_00 13:35

Ooh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

No one wants to be on my mom's team during the holidays. Why? Like whenever there's a get together for Christmas or Thanksgiving, and you know, both and the families are getting together, and you know, you eat, you talk, and then in our family, we would usually do like a game. Yeah. My mom refuses to lose. She will not lose. She is so flipping competitive. So, like, for example, like you'll be playing charades, and she's like screaming at the top of her lungs and jumping up and down and like, get it and do this and da-da-da! And it's like so stressful to be around her, and so I refuse to be on her team now for any family games because that was my example, and I'm like, I can't take it, I don't, I there's too much.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

And I'm that same exact way. I'm usually the so I remember in high school It's an extrovert thing. It is. So in high school, um, you know, I didn't bring many people home to meet my parents, but like when I would bring a potential partner home to meet my birth father, he would want to play a game called Sequence.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

And it's like a it's a board game, card game, and you you have you have it's usually teams of two, and you you can't you usually sit a across from your teammate and you can't talk about the game. Like you can't talk about strategy directly. Okay. Okay. So it's all about like reading people's cues and things like that. Okay. And he would want to play that, so it'd be him and his girlfriend against me and my potential partner. And oh, this is gonna sound really mean. Okay. When I was younger, I really liked dumb boys. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

That is that is mean. I liked my meatheads. Oh my god, stop it.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

That's so mean to say so mean. And so but I would get so mad because I'd be so bad at strategy games. And I remember once my c my high school boyfriend was playing, and he was doing so poorly, and I was like laying it out, silver platter. I wasn't even playing my strategy, I was going off of what he was doing to try and like help him. And I we were like losing, and I just finally flipped the table and I walked out of my own house and I left him there with my birth father and his girlfriend. I was like, screw all of you, I'm out of this.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

Well, you and my mom would be great on a team together then. Uh like don't act like that now. I'm an adult now. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Well, my mom is also an adult.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

Okay. Well, then go back to how are you changing now to uh what the example that you're sharing, you're being an example to your son.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

I'm trying to be an example. Yeah. Um, I don't know. I think you're okay to lose. I'm it's okay to lose. Yeah. Um, you know, I think that wife has taught me that. Yeah. I mean, also being in sales, right? Like, like, I have to be okay. Like, I have to live in Dululu land constantly, right? Like, I was saying this to someone else, I was saying this to my therapist uh earlier today. Shout out, Robin. Uh like to be a single self-employed mom, you have to be a little Delulu. You have to believe in yourself.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

And so, like, if I let every single no like bring me down, I wouldn't get back up. Yeah. I'm being I'm told no constantly. Yeah. Or I'm told, oh yeah, no, thank you. Oh, or like someone told me, oh, we're we're looking at houses. Oh, great, you know, if you want me to help you, or just like look at your pre-approval, I'm happy to. Oh no, we're good. Like, if I let those things like hurt me, yeah, I I could not survive. Right. And so I think that just like being an adult, working in sales, like doing this, like has really taught me to be okay with losing. Yeah. Now, obviously, I'm still gonna try really hard. For sure. I'm still really competitive with myself, but I'm not going to let no's and losses stop me from getting up. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

I love that. Thanks. So I want to teach my child that now. I okay, and so talking about jujitsu a little bit. So you have invited me because there's a women's night too at jujitsu, and you've before you've been like, come with me.

SPEAKER_00 17:43

It's free, it's free on Thursdays at 6 p.m. Self-defense for women only.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Yeah, well, okay, if it's self-defen if it's a self-defense class, maybe that's a little bit different, but like you said that to me. You've said it to me now multiple times, and I haven't really I I guess I I I hinted at it to you last week, but you say it to me, and I like nod and smile, and I go, uh-huh, yeah, sounds great. I'll let you know if I can make it. But the truth is inside I die a little bit because I the thought of like full force contact with other people makes me really uncomfortable. I'm like, I don't think I can do ju ju jitsu, like it's not. And you're like, I I mentioned this to you last week, and you're like, yeah, it's kind of a very full contact sport. Like, it's very full contact. If you can't be okay with other people like wrangling you to the ground, it's not gonna be.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

Yeah. I mean, I was the kid growing up that at parent teacher conference, they'd be like, Lenice's a really good girl. She just hugs really hard. And so I mean, me doing jujitsu now makes a lot of sense.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

Yeah, yeah, it does. So and and you love it. And I brought my friend Stacy.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

Yeah, you have other friends that are willing to do jujitsu with you. I've conned a few friends to come with me. Um, none have none have come back for a second time yet. Okay. Um, but Maddie Soul said she would. So, Maddie Soul, if you listen, I look forward to having you again. You did great. My friend Stacy came. She is like a total sweetheart. She's a total like, how do I say this? Like, she's just so nice. She's not a mean, harsh bone in her body. Okay. A gentle soul. She's so gentle. Okay. And she's doing it, and she's being so like, she's like, and this, and and and just like lightly touching me. And I literally grabbed her hands and like made her shove me. I'm like, you have to force my body this way. And she's just like, I just can't do this. And so I totally get that it's not for everyone, but for me, it's a great just release. Release. Um it, I I don't drink coffee. And so, you know, I I was doing it at 6 a.m. in the morning, which I want to get back to, but like it's just starts my day really strong, gets my endorphins going, like it puts me in a really good headspace. So um, yeah, that's what that's kind of like my thing that I do right now for like really release. What are you doing for release right now?

SPEAKER_01 20:07

Um I do the gym, right? So now we are both part of the same gym. So that I when everyone in my household is is healthy and I can take the kids to kids club, then that's a great release for me. And then the other thing that I've been really into has been reading. And I'm a brookworm. I am, I've always been, but it's really funny. I was just talking to my mom about this yesterday because um, so there's an app called the Libby app. I think I've mentioned it before. Yeah. And so you can upload your library card and then you can download books from your library onto your Kindle and then also listen to audiobooks. And so I was explaining it to my mom this last week. I got her signed up, so she's uh she's been exploring Libby world and all that stuff. Uh, and then um, but I when I was talking to her about it and I was telling her like the authors I've been listening to lately and the books that I've been loving, because I'm very much a my genre is um like psychological thriller. I really like those thriller ones. And so do you like like misery from like Stephen King and things like that? No, I'm not Stephen King. Stephen King's a little bit too like horror creepy for me. Misery's so good though. If you like a psychological thriller, that is like well I might I I don't think I've ever read any of Stephen King. No, that's not true. I've listened I've read um, what is it? 1969? 19 the one about um the assassination of um Kennedy and a and a time traveler. So I don't know if you've read that one.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

I haven't that's one of the ones I haven't read.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

Oh, I and that was that was one of his that I I really liked. Uh so I would, but I listened to that on audiobook. So anyway, I was talking to my mom about this. I was like, look, I kind of oscillate between uh three things based on my mood. I am either Bravo TV bench watching. Hell yeah. Reading books on my Kindle or listening to audiobooks. And so right now I've been pretty deep in audiobook land. Especially because, like, with the kids not feeling well or whatever, like I can get things done around the house. Or I can I've downloaded a couple mindless like puzzle games on my iPad. And so I can like do puzzles on my iPad while I'm listening to a book. And you also love stimulates me. And I do love puzzles as well. You like that? That's another one that I oscillate between. You got a cool puzzle box. Talk about that. I I do have like a it's a uh yeah, it is a puzzle box. It's like this big giant board where I can do the puzzle on it. It has four um compartments on the sides, and so I can put the pieces in there, and then I can have a little plastic piece that goes on top of it so that I can slide the whole thing under my couch. Because again, you know, not to not have that visual clutter in the evening, or if I start a puzzle and then I lose interest or something happens, and so I have to put it away for a while, but then I can pull it out and haven't lost my space in the puzzle. So sick. Yeah. So that's yeah, I have a lot of I have a it's really funny because like once I find something, I go pretty hard in it for a while, and then I get a little bit bored of it, and so I'll I'll pivot because like Kindle, I I think I did like two years where I didn't touch my Kindle, yeah, and then I picked it back up and I couldn't put it down for the longest time. So I was reading on Kindle, I was reading Brendan Novak books. So she is a local Sacramento author, and she does a lot of like they're kind of thrillers, and like very light, very light. There are usually some romance in her books. Um, and it's usually there's like a twist at the end, you know. So I guess that's why I call it a thriller, because there's like a twist where things come together and you fit all of the pieces together. Um, but a lot of them are based in like Cape Cod, or there's one in um Lake Tahoe, and so very like beachy vibes, and you know, going back to the little town that you grew up in type situation, and me and interacting with the people from your life from before. So, anyway, she's like an easy read. I like her.

SPEAKER_02 24:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:19

And then I don't know if her last name, how you pronounce it, if it's where or war. I think it's where. So Ruth Ware, W-A-R-E, is my current uh obsession for authors. And her her psychological thrillers, like I was talking to my mom about, like I I recommended In a Dark Dark Woods to my mom. She read it uh last week in in like two days, and um, and she was like texting me while she's reading it, and she's like, Oh my gosh, I can't believe this is happening, and this is happening, and this is happening. And I told mom, it's really cool because the way that Ruth writes, she like yanks the reader back and forth, and you think it's gonna go this way, and then she provides more information, and then you're like, sure it's gonna be this, go this way, and then it goes so many different ways. I love that. It's so good, and all of her books are like that. So I've read now in a dark dark woods. Ruth Ware? Ru Ruth Ware, yeah. In a Dark Dark Woods is about, and she is a British author, and so everything is like British countryside or um Britain or Scotland or whatever, and like all of the wording is um is English. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like In a Dark Dark Woods is about um a hen night, aka a bachelorette weekend. Uh, and that one was really good. And then I read um Perfect Couple, the Perfect Couple, which is like this virologist has a actor boyfriend, and they get picked to be a part of a reality TV show that's like kind of Bachelorette meets like Love Island. Uh, and so they go to this island to film it, and then there's a giant storm, and they're stranded on this island, and then there's a ton of murders on the island. So that sounds fun. Yeah, so that one's a fun one. And then, oh, um, the woman in cabin 10, that what turned into a movie. Oh, that's that's a movie. Yeah, so they took her book and made it into a movie, I think, with Nicole Kidman. I don't know. No. Kira Knightley? I don't know, someone. Um someone, someone's in it. Someone is in film. Someone is in that film. And so that's about like a mega yacht, a journalist on a mega yacht, and she thinks that she hears a murder next door, um, and then no one believes her. Uh, and so that's because the room is empty, like no one, there were no guests in the room at all. So that one's really good. And then I read, sorry, I'm just going through all of them. I love this. Okay, and then I just finished the lying game. The lying game about these girls, they're in their 30s now, but they all went to high school to private school together, like at a like a um boarding school, and they would always lie, like their game was lying. And so, but something happened uh that caused them all to have to leave the school when they were like 17 or 15, 16, something like that, 17. And so then that thing that happened brings them all back together 17 years later. And so that one is very interesting. And now I'm reading the death of Mrs. West Westaway. The death of Mrs. Westaway, which is about this like this um woman who leaves her entire estate to a granddaughter that she's never met, but this girl gets mistaken for the granddaughter, and she's like down on her luck, doesn't have any money. So she just pretends to be so she's pretending to be the granddaughter. I know, I know, I know. It's it's so good. It's I mean, all so all of her books, and what did I just list? Like five books, and I've listened to all those in like the last two weeks on audiobooks. So I'm just binging her so hard right now.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

I was in a big reading kick last year for a little bit, and then I got out of it. The last book that I really enjoyed was um it's called Valario. Um I don't know. Xavier, I don't remember his last name, I forgot his last name, was the author, and I like my book sad. I don't know how. I can't do sad batons. Life is too short for sad boats. And so okay. Okay. Trigger warnings for nothing too bad. Uh well, anyways. So this book is about like the first the first chapter you will cry like the first few pages you are crying.

SPEAKER_01 28:59

I'm never gonna read this book.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

I'm never gonna read this book.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

Never. Because it's supposed to, when I read, it's supposed to make me feel better about life, not cause me to feel worse. Oh, I l I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 29:10

I mean, I'm also the person who falls asleep listen to murder podcasts. So um so but the book, it's about this like girl and her single mom and her sister, and they're all just like living together in um they're living in South America, like I think a very small, like coastal South American country. And um essentially a big like hurricane happens, and the whole country is like shut down. I think it's like supposed to be like in Haiti or something. Okay. But the whole country is like separated, like their their town completely separated from the rest of civilization. Her sister dies in that in that accident. Yeah. But the younger sister found her sister's body and like kept a piece of her body as a memento. Oh god. And like the mom, the whole town gets like stuck in this like cultish environment because they're trying to survive without outside help. Yeah. And so she's like going through this cult and she's like talking to her dead sister essentially. Like gosh.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

It's like this is really traumatizing.

SPEAKER_00 30:12

Yeah. So that's the last book I read that I really liked.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

Okay. And why don't you read a perfect couple? I think that one would would be a good one. Okay, I'll read a perfect couple. I think it'll it'll be up your alley. A ton of people die in it. Oh yeah, people die, letting love it. I'm just saying. And you're saying I mean it's similar vibes, right? Like they're stranded on this island without no contact, and they have to survive, and there's a murderer among them.

SPEAKER_00 30:43

So yeah, yeah, that was a this one's a good book. Um, and then other than jujitsu, right now, what I'm really into. Well, I was really into anime again for a while. Okay. So I'm a total nerd, guys. Sorry to break these news. I know you guys all thought I was probably really cool. I'm not. Um so I was really into anime, so I've been watching a lot of anime on Crunchyroll, but now I've been sucked back into my K-dramas. So K-pop? No, K K. Korean dramas. Okay, okay, okay. But I'm really into like, okay, my books I like sad. My TV shows, I don't. Okay. I'm a rom-com girly. Oh, okay. And so I know, right? That's like, it's it's funny, but like my K-dramas, I like them silly, I like them, I like them whimsical, I love a little love triangle. I love, I love the side quests that things go on. Like, I love all of that. So right now, the one I'm watching, um it's like gonna be over in like two episodes. Um, it is about a gal who she like in college, like just hunkered down, and like during her early years of like her 20s, she like just hunkered down and was like really in work mode, like getting a good job, working hard. And now that she's in her 30s, she's like, I I need to start dating. Like, I haven't dated my entire life. I'm 30-something years old. I I I've never kissed anyone. Okay, like I I should probably start figuring out what to do.

SPEAKER_01 32:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:18

And so she goes on her first blind date. So in Korea in Korea, I guess going on blind dates is more common. Okay. And so, like, it's normal for you to like ask your friends or your couple friends who like have a good relationship to like set you up with somebody. Okay. So she's message she's drunk one night and she like messages everybody and is like, somebody set me up on a good blind date. And so she goes on the very first one, it's a sweet, sweet guy, and she likes him, but she ends up just like a comedy of errors happens throughout the night. She's like, Okay, well, this is never gonna work. Okay, and so they never see each other again. And then she ends up going on another blind date, and it goes awful, and she ends up it ends up being a love triangle between these people, even though she went on a bunch of other dates, and because they just ended up all working out, and then she has to choose between hot actor guy or like sweet like boy whose parents own a restaurant, and like it's just cutesy things like that. So, like I have my I have my little mind-numbing, like happy go-lucky moments. Yeah, yeah. It's just my books. I like them, I like them dark. Yeah, you do. I like them very dark. God, yeah. Um, yeah, there was also another book I read uh that was really good. I'm trying to think of the name of it. Uh nope, nope, can't think of the name of it. It's like right there on my frontal lobe. Nope. It was about a double agent spy in the Vietnamese War. Ooh. That one was a really good. And they they made a TV show on it, and I did not like the TV show. Oh. Yeah. Uh Robert Downey Jr. is in it, and he plays multiple characters. Why does he do that? Why does he do that? Why did they let him do that? That's his like thing, huh? It's kind of a shtick.

unknown 33:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:58

He likes to do that. But what's nice about this one, that book, was the narrator was an unreliable narrator. So the entire book, you're getting unreliable information. And so you're having to piece together what is the actual truth. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 34:12

And so that one was a really fun thing. That's fun.

SPEAKER_00 34:14

It is fun.

SPEAKER_01 34:15

That's really fun. I wish you gotta remember the name and then we gotta share it. I'm look it up. Look it up while we're talking. I'm gonna look it up. I'm I have a wait right now. Uh so I'm a part of the Sharon McMahon book club. Sharon McMahon from as Sharon says so, she does like political stuff on um Instagram. But I'm part of her book club. I read some of the books, I don't read some of the books, and uh the one I have one that is I'm have the book on hold. I'm waiting for it to come up in the library. It's called 1929, and it's about the stock stock market crash, and it's like a really interesting from what I've heard heard, it's a very interesting take on 1929. Ooh, I'll read that. Yeah, so I'm that's on my to read as soon as it comes up.

SPEAKER_00 35:00

Okay, we found the book. It did. It's called The Sympathizer. It's by Viet Dun Wen. Um, and the little synopsis it has on here is a gripping literary spy novel about the northern Vietnamese mole embedded in the South Vietnamese refugee community in Los Angeles after the fall of Saigon. Um so it's a it's a really good book.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

Okay, I'm gonna write this. I'm gonna put it on my Libby app right now while we're talking.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

Yeah, the sympathizer. I'm I'm not kidding. Great read. And like I said, having a false narrator the entire book makes you.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

Do you know that he's a false narrator or you find out at the end?

SPEAKER_00 35:37

You find out as it goes because he contradicts himself multiple times in the story. You're you will read the book and you're like a- did you know it's a series?

SPEAKER_01 35:46

It's a series? It says number one in series. Okay, let me look. Oh yeah. The committed. Now I gotta read the committed.

SPEAKER_00 35:56

He's got two got two books now. Dang, it's a really good book though, because you're like a few chapters in and you're like, wait, he said this other thing about this person. And so you're ha like it kind of makes you like wonder if you're remembering correctly. Because yeah, it's a good it's a good book. I love that. I like this book a lot.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

Okay, cool. I just put it, I have little tags on Libby, and so I just put it as a borrow next so that when I'm ready I can I wonder if they have it as our as a um whatchamacallit?

SPEAKER_00 36:26

Audiobook, yes. That's what I want. I mean, I have the physical book at home. I'm also a physical book person. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:34

I used to be, but now I really like having my candle that I can just plop place. But I also have two physical books that I'm reading right now, so one of them is The Full Fee Agent, which I borrowed from Darcy. She was interview number two. Shout out Darcy. Hey Darcy Hairgroom. And then the second one I'm reading is called Democracy in Retrograde. And about that. You've mentioned that. Yeah, yeah. So those two I've been working working through for a long time because I I don't think I've picked them up in a good two or three weeks. But I try to read a chapter every day when I can. But you know, life's crazy with sicknesses in our household. What kind of Bravo shows are you into? Definitely the Housewives. Um favorite? Okay, so I do Beverly Hills. And then Orange County. And they still make episodes? Yeah. Oh, okay. Orange County and Salt Lake City. Those are my three. I don't know. It's it's the franchises have really changed over the years from being something where you get a a peek into these women's lives to now it's just like a group of women who live in the area and go on trips and have fights. Oh. So it's like losing its appeal a little bit. Yeah, I want the peek into the lives. Like, I want that that's what I loved about Beverly Hills is you'd see like these giant mansions and you'd get a like see these people live in their giant homes. But no, they're like almost never home anymore. Or if they are, they're in their kitchen or in their backyard. Those are the two spots that they sit and chat.

SPEAKER_00 38:08

I've only watched. But I've only watched The Real Housewives once in like 2013, maybe. Okay. Because my my friend was sick and I was like staying and helping her get better. Okay. And she was really into it. And so I watched New Jersey. Oh, okay. I never got into that one. And so I watched it and I was like, these women are crazy. They are crazy. It is entertaining. I loved it. And but it was fun getting to watch them take their kids to dance or like auditions or like like you said, like watch them in their household. Yeah, it's really changed over the years.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

It's not that anymore. It's like they take turns taking each other on elaborate vacations. So they'll like go to Lake Tahoe and get a mansion in Lake Tahoe for the week, or they'll go to Italy and be in a villa for a week. And I'm like, well, I mean, this is not so, but that's I like that one. Summer House, which there's a giant scandal. Oh, it's a group of people. Okay, so Vanderpump Rules. Do you know Vanderpump Rules? I I it's a show about restaurants. Lisa Vander. Okay, so this is how much time do we have, okay? You guys are gonna get you you're getting your bravo education right now. Also, you're learning.

SPEAKER_00 39:16

Amanda and I, we're we're we're really close friends, but we're we have different likes. We live different lives, we just which I really enjoyed.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

I know, it's fun. It's fun. Um, okay, so Lisa Vanderprump was one of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She got her money through restauranteering in uh England, and then she started opening up places in uh like Hollywood and LA-ish area. I think I think Hollywood, West Hollywood is where a lot of eating. I think it's not one of the restaurants.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

Which one? Um, the one that looks like a birdcage. Um It's in Beverly Hills.

SPEAKER_01 39:57

Was it Pump? Was it the gay bar? The gay restaurant? Yeah, it was gay. With like all of the servers wore pink, very low-cut. No. Hmm. Bird cage. Okay. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 40:11

There I feel like there was a lot of birds in decoration there.

SPEAKER_01 40:14

It wasn't sir or was it?

SPEAKER_00 40:16

It was sir.

SPEAKER_01 40:16

It was sir.

SPEAKER_00 40:17

It was sir.

SPEAKER_01 40:18

Okay. So Vanderpump Rules follows the servers of Sir.

SPEAKER_00 40:22

Oh, okay. There you go.

SPEAKER_01 40:24

That's right. Okay, well, you may have interacted. You may have been served by one of the bird cage restaurant. I can't. I feel like there's a lot of bird decorations. I can see that. Like, I've never been there in person, but now that you say that, like, I could get that vibe from her. Laugh Ashley, if she's listening to this episode, is gonna be laughing because she's my Bravo watcher. Oh yeah. Yeah, she and I uh chat about Bravo all the time. Okay, so Vanderpup Rules. It came out, they they're around my age, you know, they're kind of like late 30s to mid-40s, is kind of the age range now, like that these people were. So they this series started probably 15 years ago. I think right when I was getting out of college or while I was in college, like that. So they were young 20s working at this restaurant, and all of the people at the restaurant are like also aspiring actors, and so many love triangles, and everyone has slept with one another, and there's so much drama and so much cheating that happens on the show, which I know that's like not fun.

SPEAKER_00 41:30

I don't like cheating, but I love a love triangle.

SPEAKER_01 41:34

I love sleeping with everybody, I love the messiness. And then, so like the one of the main girls, her name's Stasi, and she's just like this she thinks she is Queen Bitch, and she is Is she? She kinda she kind of is, yeah. Yeah, so um, but she uh so anyway, I've been watching this for like 15 years, and it was really good. I mean, it was enjoyable to me. As they've gotten older, it's been become more pathetic than enjoyable because you know you're like, okay, it was funny when you were in your early 20s. Now you guys are like marrying each other and having kids, but then getting divorces and it's messy and there's kids involved now. Yeah. And so there was a really, really, really big scandal where um it was cheating love scandal, uh cheating love triangle where uh two were in a really committed relationship, and then the one's best friend slept with her boyfriend. Um, and like so anyway, the show that was pretty much the demise of the show was that. And so now they've rebooted the show with 20 somethings again because that makes more sense. As it makes it makes more sense, but I haven't really been able to get into the new cast. But then what they did is they took the people not in the scandal from um from uh Vanderpump Rules, yeah, and they created a uh spin-off show called The Valley, because now they all live in the valley. Oh and so then you know, I kind of watch that show, but that one's super depressing for the same reasons, like all of the drama is like I'm like, boy, you are 45 years old. Like you need to get your life together. Like, why are we no? Um, anyway, so those are my my bravos that I watch.

SPEAKER_00 43:23

I love it. So I watch, I think this is Bravo, but and I only watch it when I'm flying. Okay, which I think is funny. Okay, but I watch below deck. Oh yes, but I only watch below deck when I fly. That's funny that that's like your like your safe show when you're flying.

SPEAKER_01 43:40

That's my safe. I don't know what's your comfort, your comfort show.

SPEAKER_00 43:43

My comfort show when I'm flying. Yeah. I totally just binge all the and the thing is because you go on different planes and there's different episodes and seasons available. I'm I have watched them completely out of order. I I there is no order, it's all chaos in my head.

SPEAKER_01 43:57

And I really liked that show when it first came out. And then I think for the first three iterations, I was a pretty loyal watcher. And then once it started to be four or five different versions of the same show, I was like, this is too much. I can't do it. But like, even their original, like Ben the Cook. Oh my God. I he is so funny. He's such an ass, but he's like the best chef that there ever will be. And then what was the original uh stewardess? Kate.

SPEAKER_00 44:29

Oh, Kate, yeah. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 44:30

Tall, skinny, blonde. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. A little bitchy. Yeah. A lot bitchy.

SPEAKER_00 44:36

But there's just like really funny lines that I get from that. I know. Like there's this one where she's like, you know, because I'm Latina. And they're like, are you Latina? And then she's like, no, but inside I am. And so it's just like the funny little one-liners like that that get me. Oh, that's so good. But I love brain rot. Like you and I both love we. Oh yeah. I yeah. I know that I know that it's not good for us. I know that I've talked about it before that I really limit the amount of television and screen time that my child gets.

SPEAKER_01 45:06

But not when it comes to you.

SPEAKER_00 45:08

No, there's no limitation when it comes to me. Yeah. Um, I am on my phone doom scrolling till the break of dawn. Yeah. Yeah. I uh I love brain rot. I I love stupid little memes, and I'm sending them to you. I'm sending them to all my closest friends. Yeah. I don't care how many I bombard you with.

SPEAKER_01 45:25

Um, well, I have, because you got rid of TikTok, and so I have a saved folder on TikTok that I just go through every time you come over. Oh, let's see what videos I saved to show you. Because I can't send them to you.

SPEAKER_00 45:37

It's really funny because I have I have an Instagram, um, in my Instagram under my saved, I have a collection called um to show. But they're to show no one. Because I don't send these to anyone. I just have an entire look at this. An entire collection of videos.

SPEAKER_01 45:59

Oh my god, what are you doing with those?

SPEAKER_00 46:00

That's all of these that no one's ever going to get. These are ones that I'm like, these don't fit anyone that I know that would like these. And I don't want to like them because then people would know that because you know Instagram shows your likes to people now. Yeah. Which I think is really funny, guys. Um, I think it's really funny. And I'm like, oh, so that's what you like. And so, anyways, these are my ones that I'm like, I these are just ones. I I like these, but I'm not sharing these with anyone. I like them, but I'm not liking them, and I'm not sharing them with anyone. Okay, interesting. Yeah, so I have very silly ones. Um, yeah, very silly, silly ones on here.

SPEAKER_01 46:36

Do you?

SPEAKER_00 46:36

Are you a movie person? I'm not. I can't do movies. Um, I was just talking about this. Other than anime and K dramas, I don't really watch TV or uh or movies alone. Okay. If you want to watch it with me, I will do it. Yeah. I think that's a communal thing. Right. But like on my own, no. Okay. No. Okay. No.

SPEAKER_01 46:58

I don't like Michael will watch the same movies over and over and over again. And I'll be like, why are you watching that again? Didn't you just watch that six months ago? I'll be like, no, it's been two years. I'm like, okay. And he like, I don't know, he always has something on his phone.

SPEAKER_00 47:16

When I was little, I was a movie watcher.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:18

Like, I know this sounds really weird, but one of my favorite movies when I was like a little kid. Bambi? No. Well, yeah, I did love Bambi. Yeah, because the mom dies and it's- My child just watched Bambi the other day for the very first time. Um, didn't realize. They choked out, by the way. Didn't they? Um It's probably for the best. Fox and Hound, one of my favorites. Oh my god, that one's so sad too. I have the I have an original movie poster of it. Oh my god. At my house that I bought drunk at a Comic-Con once.

SPEAKER_01 47:44

Nice.

SPEAKER_00 47:45

Um, no, but one of my favorite movies as a kid was Fools Rush In. I what's that one about? Um, you know the guy who plays Chandler Bing in Friends? Um, so he's in it. This is not a kid's movie, but for some reason I fell in love with it. It sounds vague. It's the 1997 uh film with uh Matthew Perry and Selma Hayek. Okay. By the way, this is my Gay Awakening movie.

unknown 48:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 48:14

Wait, show me the oh yeah, show me the There is a scene. Read the synopsis to me, please. Fool's Rush In is a romantic comedy starring Matthew Perry and Selma Hayek about a New York real estate developer and a Mexican-American woman who have a one-night stand in Las Vegas, leading to an unexpected pregnancy and marriage, forcing them to navigate their culture cultural differences and family pressures. This was I have never seen that. One of my favorite movies starting at like eight years old. Okay, wait, why was this your gay awakening? It doesn't sound like it's a gay there is a there is a scene, everyone, where a Selma Hayek is in the kitchen and she's cooking and she's got this dress on and she's just dancing and cooking, and Matthew Perry comes in and he just stands there in the doorway and is just like watching her. And I felt like him, and I'm just like, I want to come home to that.

unknown 49:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 49:11

Okay. For some reason, my parents would just like buy random movies, and like I was home alone a lot, and I would just like put it on, and I watched the movies so much as a child, an embarrassing amount. You're funny. So uh yeah, I also watched the movie Rent a Lot Growing Up.

SPEAKER_01 49:31

You know the movie about the movie about AIDS and everyone dying. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:35

Okay. Yeah. Okay. That's also one of, yeah, so Okay.

SPEAKER_01 49:38

I Alright, Lenicia. All right, alright. Too much? Oh. No.

SPEAKER_00 49:48

I'm just laughing. That's so good. Oh man. Yeah, I'm I'm really glad that we could do this episode today, though. Just like talk about nothing and everything.

SPEAKER_01 49:57

I would, I, I would love to do this, you know, every, you know, even if we do every five episodes or whatever, just like a a chit-chat, crying versus thriving. Talk about, get to know each other a little bit better. Cool, right? Share our recommendations with those that are listening. This was perfect. This was exactly what I was hoping it would be. Yay! So good. Thank you, everyone.

SPEAKER_00 50:22

Thank you, everyone, for for coming in. Yeah, for being here. We appreciate all of you. We really do. Yeah. Now you know what my gay awakening book is. And I hope you look up this scene because it is a beautiful scene. It's like she's just she's just living life. Uh anywho, catch us in the next episode. We'll see you guys soon.

SPEAKER_01 50:43

Have a great one.

SPEAKER_00 50:45

Peace.

SPEAKER_01 50:45

That's Realty Check. Real lives, real estate, and the conversations most people do not want to have. We'll talk soon.