WEBVTT 00:00:00.479 --> 00:00:04.480 We're continuing our series on relational success. 00:00:04.719 --> 00:00:06.799 Today is part four. 00:00:07.759 --> 00:00:11.519 Forgive and apologize often. 00:00:12.320 --> 00:00:16.719 Have a burden that I feel in my spirit that I want to release. 00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:20.640 And then we'll dive into forgive and apologize often. 00:00:20.719 --> 00:00:32.560 And a reason that I put often on there instead of just talking about forgive and apologize, because these are the principles that govern relational health. 00:00:32.719 --> 00:00:39.119 You cannot have relational success unless you're operating in the principles that govern relational health. 00:00:39.759 --> 00:00:58.560 And forgive, forgiving people who have hurt you, offended you, sinned against you, frustrated you, whatever, disappointed you, and then apologizing for the ways that you've frustrated and hurt and disappointed other people, those two things have to happen all the time. 00:00:59.359 --> 00:01:00.320 All the time. 00:01:01.359 --> 00:01:04.239 Because all of that stuff is happening all the time. 00:01:04.400 --> 00:01:05.760 There's always a reason. 00:01:05.840 --> 00:01:08.239 There's always a need to forgive someone. 00:01:08.400 --> 00:01:13.519 There's always a need to apologize and to seek forgiveness from someone. 00:01:13.599 --> 00:01:16.799 And so it's forgive and apologize often. 00:01:17.519 --> 00:01:19.599 That's there for a reason. 00:01:19.840 --> 00:01:20.400 Let's pray. 00:01:20.480 --> 00:01:34.079 Father, as we approach your word, we pray that you would speak to us, that you would change our minds, that there would be a renewal of our minds, that it would be based on your word, that we would think according to your word, live according to your ways. 00:01:34.319 --> 00:01:43.519 We say, give us revelation, open our minds to understand the scriptures today, and teach us your kingdom. 00:01:43.760 --> 00:01:45.519 Show us your heart. 00:01:45.760 --> 00:01:48.560 Teach us your ways in Jesus' name. 00:01:48.799 --> 00:01:49.359 Amen. 00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:50.000 Amen. 00:01:50.239 --> 00:01:58.560 Matthew 22, verse 36, our springboard scripture for the series, teacher, which is the great commandment in the law. 00:01:58.799 --> 00:02:05.359 Jesus said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and with all your mind. 00:02:05.680 --> 00:02:08.960 This is the first and great commandment. 00:02:09.199 --> 00:02:13.360 And the second is like it. 00:02:38.639 --> 00:02:42.800 And love your neighbor as yourself. 00:02:43.439 --> 00:02:44.159 As yourself. 00:02:44.240 --> 00:02:45.280 So we love God. 00:02:45.439 --> 00:02:46.400 We love people. 00:02:46.800 --> 00:02:48.960 We love ourselves. 00:02:49.199 --> 00:02:50.800 And there's an order to that. 00:02:51.039 --> 00:02:52.159 Messages in the past. 00:02:52.319 --> 00:02:53.919 We talked about the order of love. 00:02:54.080 --> 00:02:57.120 We've talked about the importance of relational success. 00:02:57.280 --> 00:03:00.800 That true success is relational success. 00:03:00.960 --> 00:03:10.800 You can have all the other kinds of success in life that the world has to offer, but if you have failed relationally, you have failed in life. 00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:17.599 And so true success, true riches, true wealth is relational health and relational success. 00:03:17.840 --> 00:03:22.080 It's great relationship with God and great relationship with people. 00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:39.520 So, in light of that truth, the principles then that govern relational health have to be among the most important principles that we can know and live our lives by as followers of Jesus. 00:03:39.919 --> 00:03:42.080 And so we want to know those principles. 00:03:42.159 --> 00:03:51.039 We want to live according to those principles so that we can apply them to our life so that we can have true success in life. 00:03:51.520 --> 00:03:57.039 First one we talked about last week was to take relational responsibility. 00:03:57.199 --> 00:04:00.479 Your relational health is your responsibility. 00:04:02.319 --> 00:04:07.120 Your relational health is your personal responsibility. 00:04:07.520 --> 00:04:10.560 Nobody else is responsible for your relational health. 00:04:10.879 --> 00:04:17.759 Not even the people that you're wanting to have relationship with or that are supposed to be in relationship with. 00:06:30.959 --> 00:06:44.240 When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. 00:06:44.560 --> 00:06:45.600 Listen to what it says. 00:06:49.759 --> 00:06:50.879 That's very important. 00:06:55.360 --> 00:06:57.680 But there is no law against these things. 00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:11.279 In other words, there is no law, principle, or power that can override these things being the personal results of personal surrender of control to the Holy Spirit. 00:07:18.480 --> 00:07:25.759 Those things being the results of a person who has truly surrendered control to the Holy Spirit. 00:07:26.879 --> 00:07:33.519 He literally lists out the guaranteed results and then says, There are no exceptions to this. 00:07:37.120 --> 00:07:40.079 Here's what happens when the Holy Spirit controls your life. 00:07:40.480 --> 00:07:41.439 Here's the fruit. 00:07:41.839 --> 00:07:44.560 This is what you will get to eat from from your life. 00:07:44.720 --> 00:07:47.680 This is what others will get to eat from from your life. 00:07:48.079 --> 00:07:51.040 And he says, There's no exceptions to this. 00:07:51.360 --> 00:07:52.399 Isn't that amazing? 00:07:52.560 --> 00:07:54.399 That's good news, by the way. 00:07:55.920 --> 00:08:02.399 There's nothing that can stop this in the life of a person who has surrendered control to the Holy Spirit. 00:08:02.959 --> 00:08:08.319 These specific results or fruits are what make personal happiness possible. 00:08:09.120 --> 00:08:13.680 Apart from those nine things, you can't be happy. 00:08:14.319 --> 00:08:15.360 I promise you. 00:08:15.680 --> 00:08:17.920 Because you will have the opposite of those things. 00:08:18.240 --> 00:08:22.480 Which he described in the previous verses in Galatians 5. 00:08:22.639 --> 00:08:25.040 He gives this whole list of the fruit of the flesh. 00:08:25.199 --> 00:08:29.920 This is what your life will look like when you're following your own sinful human desires. 00:08:30.079 --> 00:08:34.320 And then he says, This is what your life will look like when you follow the spirit. 00:08:34.799 --> 00:08:42.000 And I promise you, personal happiness depends on those fruits being present and dominant in your life. 00:08:42.080 --> 00:08:46.879 And it's also what makes it possible for other people to be happy with you. 00:08:47.200 --> 00:08:57.919 If you don't have those things and you consistently fail to have those things, you will consistently have the opposite of those things, and people will not be very happy with you. 00:08:59.360 --> 00:09:04.960 But listen to me, this is so powerful and so personal because this is the burden that I feel. 00:09:05.120 --> 00:09:11.360 Your personal happiness doesn't depend on any external situation or circumstance. 00:09:11.519 --> 00:09:14.000 And there's no exceptions to that. 00:09:14.399 --> 00:09:16.159 That's what he's saying here. 00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:27.919 You can have, you can have, each individual can have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. 00:09:28.080 --> 00:09:30.720 Everybody can have that, and there's no exceptions. 00:09:30.879 --> 00:09:40.639 There's nothing anybody can do to stop you from being able to have those things and be a happy person who has good fruit in their life. 00:09:40.799 --> 00:09:46.559 Your personal happiness doesn't depend on any external situation or circumstance. 00:09:46.799 --> 00:09:52.720 It doesn't depend on what people do or don't do, it doesn't depend on what you have or don't have. 00:09:53.039 --> 00:09:55.360 Man, I'm telling you, this is good news. 00:09:57.039 --> 00:09:58.240 And let me say this. 00:09:58.480 --> 00:10:05.200 If you recognize that you're going, well, actually, I do allow what I have and don't have to affect that. 00:10:06.080 --> 00:10:08.799 What people do and don't do actually do affect that. 00:10:08.960 --> 00:10:12.960 Then what that's the Holy Spirit lovingly saying is then you're in control. 00:10:13.360 --> 00:10:15.679 You're trying to control stuff. 00:10:15.840 --> 00:10:22.799 You're trying to control people, you're trying to control outcomes, you're trying to control situations and circumstances, right? 00:10:23.120 --> 00:10:29.440 So that you can be happy, or so that you can be happy with somebody else, and the result is misery. 00:10:29.600 --> 00:10:31.120 Everybody's miserable. 00:10:32.080 --> 00:10:43.120 Because you won't be able to produce those fruits, lasting, dominant fruits in your life, because it's a result of surrendering control, and he produces those things. 00:10:44.559 --> 00:10:46.159 That's good news. 00:10:47.279 --> 00:10:57.120 The spiritually alive individual who has connection and communion with God can thrive despite external negative circumstances. 00:10:58.480 --> 00:11:27.679 Be it a bad marriage, an unbelieving, unhealthy spouse, a rebellious child, relational challenges, financial difficulties, economic crashes, physical health crises, challenging situations with your career, political chaos in your community, overwhelming financial debt, problem after problem with material possessions and properties, and God forbid we ever have to deal with actual persecution for being followers of Jesus. 00:11:28.559 --> 00:11:40.559 In all these things, we as the church should be just like the church has been for thousands of years, able to thrive in the midst of all these things. 00:11:40.879 --> 00:11:53.519 We must have mastery over our attitudes, our actions, and the words we speak, surrendering control to see the fruit of the Spirit flourishing in and through our lives, despite what's going on around us. 00:11:53.759 --> 00:11:54.399 Amen. 00:11:55.679 --> 00:12:09.919 This is one of the things that for centuries has marked the true followers of Jesus, that despite harsh and hard situations and circumstances, to the bewilderment of the watching world, we still flourish and thrive. 00:12:10.159 --> 00:12:12.960 We still have love, joy, and peace. 00:12:13.200 --> 00:12:18.080 We still stand and declare the goodness of God and the faithfulness of God. 00:12:18.240 --> 00:12:29.759 Listen, not because we're in denial of reality, but because rather we refuse to allow this earthly reality to define the character, nature, and goodness and faithfulness of God. 00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:33.200 He exists outside of earthly limitations. 00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:34.159 Amen. 00:12:36.399 --> 00:12:37.600 And guess what? 00:12:37.919 --> 00:12:38.879 So do you. 00:12:39.200 --> 00:12:44.159 Spiritually, the Bible says you exist outside of earthly limitations. 00:12:44.240 --> 00:12:47.759 You've been seated with Christ in heavenly places. 00:12:47.919 --> 00:12:57.039 Your spirit exists with God outside of all the negative earthly limitations and sufferings. 00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:10.639 1 Peter 1, the Holy Spirit was writing this through Peter to the church, and it was in the midst, the context of this verse that I'm going to read here is in the midst of some trials and tests and some sufferings. 00:13:10.720 --> 00:13:15.200 And he says, This though you have not seen him, you love him. 00:13:16.159 --> 00:13:19.519 Though you do not now see him, you believe in him. 00:13:19.759 --> 00:13:21.120 And listen, I love this. 00:13:21.360 --> 00:13:27.360 And you rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory. 00:13:27.840 --> 00:13:32.080 King James says, joy unspeakable and full of glory. 00:13:33.039 --> 00:13:53.360 He's saying that you can be in hard situations, you can be in trials, you can be in tests, you can have suffering, you can have these external circumstantial things that are negative, and still, listen, rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory, right in the middle of a mess. 00:13:53.519 --> 00:13:57.519 That is the testimony of the true church of Jesus Christ. 00:13:58.000 --> 00:14:04.399 That is the work and the power of the Holy Spirit in us and through us. 00:14:06.240 --> 00:14:27.519 So as we jump into continuing this conversation, uh there was a scripture that I love and I didn't put it in the message last time, and I want to read this kind of as our foundation for today, but it's Colossians 2, and this is actually just I'm personally reading the book of Colossians right now. 00:14:27.600 --> 00:14:35.759 So I have my Bible study where I'm doing sermon preparation, I'm praying, and I'm I'm I'm writing these messages as the Holy Spirit leads me. 00:14:35.840 --> 00:14:43.519 And then I always like to make sure that I just personally have Bible reading that I'm doing that's not connected to sermon or anything. 00:14:43.759 --> 00:14:45.039 Right now I'm in Galatians. 00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:50.879 A lot of times I'll find something in my personal reading, and I'm like, oh, that's going in, that's going in the message. 00:14:51.120 --> 00:14:52.480 And this is one of those. 00:14:52.559 --> 00:15:06.639 And he says in verse 1, chapter 2, Colossians, I want you to know how much I have agonized for you and for the church at Laodicea, and for many other believers who have never met me personally. 00:15:06.799 --> 00:15:13.279 I want them to be encouraged, listen, and knit together by strong ties of love. 00:15:14.639 --> 00:15:23.120 I want them to have complete confidence that they understand God's mysterious plan, which is Christ himself. 00:15:23.919 --> 00:15:30.480 In him lie hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. 00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:36.159 And I am telling you this so that no one will deceive you with well-crafted arguments. 00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:45.519 And so right here, he's compelling to the church and he's saying, My desire for you, I want you to be knit together by strong ties of love. 00:15:45.679 --> 00:15:53.120 I want you to know the mystery that is Christ Himself and the treasures of wisdom and knowledge that he has. 00:15:53.279 --> 00:15:53.840 Why? 00:15:54.080 --> 00:15:57.120 So that you will not be deceived. 00:15:58.399 --> 00:16:06.639 Have you ever thought that building relationships is actually protection against deception? 00:16:07.519 --> 00:16:11.120 He wants us to be knit together with strong ties of love. 00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:25.360 That means close relationships in the church, where we're breaking bread together, where we're we're we know each other, we show up, we sacrifice, we chedule things on our calendar. 00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:30.480 We make sure that we prioritize investing and building strong ties of love. 00:16:30.720 --> 00:16:36.000 That is actually protecting us from being deceived. 00:16:37.519 --> 00:16:41.519 And so we're protecting these relationships by what we're talking about today. 00:16:41.679 --> 00:16:44.159 Forgive and apologize often. 00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:46.879 John chapter 20, verse 22. 00:16:46.960 --> 00:16:51.600 This is the resurrected Jesus as he shows up where the disciples are. 00:16:51.840 --> 00:17:00.240 And it says in verse 22, and with that Jesus breathed on them and said, Receive the Holy Spirit. 00:17:00.559 --> 00:17:07.599 Now, most theologians believe that this is when people were actually born again, that this was being born again. 00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:10.000 This wasn't the baptism of the Holy Spirit. 00:17:10.160 --> 00:17:17.119 This was the initial infilling of the Holy Spirit unto salvation, or to be born of the Spirit. 00:17:17.359 --> 00:17:19.440 And so he said, Receive the Holy Spirit. 00:17:19.599 --> 00:17:26.160 If you then he says this if you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven. 00:17:26.319 --> 00:17:29.599 If you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven. 00:17:29.759 --> 00:17:34.240 What he's saying is, you have the power to forgive sins. 00:17:34.559 --> 00:17:37.680 Listen, or to not forgive sins. 00:17:38.240 --> 00:17:45.359 You have the power to release somebody from their sins or to bind them to their sins. 00:17:46.400 --> 00:17:52.960 Now, how many of you know in that moment that had never happened in the history of the world before? 00:17:53.200 --> 00:17:59.359 That Jesus breathed on them, they received the Holy Spirit, and then he gives them that command. 00:18:00.079 --> 00:18:06.160 The concept of seeking and giving forgiveness is central to the heart of God. 00:18:06.480 --> 00:18:07.839 He stopped at nothing. 00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:14.000 Listen, he stopped at nothing to provide a solution to the separation because of sin. 00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:24.559 For thousands of years, he had attempted to bridge the gap that our sin created, and when all of those efforts failed, he did what he knew wouldn't fail. 00:18:24.880 --> 00:18:34.319 He came himself and he conquered sin and death as a human, creating a pathway of reconciliation with man and himself. 00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:45.359 Now, because of that finished work of Christ, forgiveness of sin was possible for the very first time. 00:18:45.519 --> 00:18:53.279 Not just the putting off of sin, the pushing off of sin for a year, but the forgiveness of sin. 00:18:56.319 --> 00:19:01.039 It's possible and listen, and it's available to whosoever will. 00:19:01.680 --> 00:19:04.079 And that's exactly where it sits today. 00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:12.559 In the will of human beings, in the will of believers, whosoever will and whosoever will not. 00:19:14.400 --> 00:19:19.200 You know, there's very few things in the Bible that God is intolerant of. 00:19:19.759 --> 00:19:22.720 God is pretty patient, he's pretty tolerant. 00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:31.839 But at the top of the list of what he's intolerant of is people refusing to forgive another person. 00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:48.000 Nothing will abruptly stop or hinder your spiritual growth and your relational growth like refusing to humble yourself in light of his extravagant love and seek and give forgiveness. 00:19:48.559 --> 00:19:53.759 How many of you know sin separates us from God and it separates us from each other? 00:19:53.920 --> 00:19:56.400 It always has and it always will. 00:19:56.559 --> 00:19:59.599 The only remedy for sin is forgiveness. 00:19:59.839 --> 00:20:04.240 The way we obtain forgiveness is by repentance, right? 00:20:04.559 --> 00:20:06.880 God says we confess our sins to Him. 00:20:14.160 --> 00:20:17.759 The only remedy for sin is forgiveness. 00:20:18.079 --> 00:20:19.599 It is forgiveness. 00:20:19.759 --> 00:20:27.359 It's a megatheme of the Bible, and it's a spiritual law that there is no way to alter or avoid. 00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:38.240 You will get to places in your life where the only way forward will be to forgive someone that has sinned against you. 00:20:38.559 --> 00:20:48.799 You will get to places in your life as you follow Jesus where everything will stop at a sin that has been committed against you. 00:20:50.960 --> 00:20:57.440 And you will have to forgive in order to continue to move forward. 00:20:57.599 --> 00:21:00.319 There's no other way around it. 00:21:00.480 --> 00:21:14.079 It's the only way that sins can be remedied, that sins can be eradicated and dissolved is by the power of forgiveness that comes from a willing heart. 00:21:15.519 --> 00:21:20.720 Proverbs 11, 24 says, give freely and become more wealthy. 00:21:20.880 --> 00:21:23.920 Be stingy and lose everything. 00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:26.319 The generous will prosper. 00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:31.759 Those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. 00:21:43.359 --> 00:21:45.119 That scripture is actually about judgment. 00:21:45.200 --> 00:21:46.960 It's not about money. 00:21:47.279 --> 00:21:49.759 I think it works with money too. 00:21:50.559 --> 00:21:53.200 It's about the principle of giving. 00:21:53.440 --> 00:21:59.839 But I believe this is a correlation with that give forgiveness freely and become more worth. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:06.480 Wealthy, be stingy, and lose the very forgiveness you've received yourself. 00:22:08.960 --> 00:22:12.400 This is not a command that you obey for a reward. 00:22:12.559 --> 00:22:18.000 Listen, forgiving somebody isn't a command you obey for a reward. 00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:25.359 It's a response to a gift that was given to you by a loving, gracious, wonderful God. 00:22:27.519 --> 00:22:34.559 Refusing to respond right to this gift of forgiveness can cost you the very gift itself. 00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:37.039 Now here's a little secret. 00:22:37.279 --> 00:22:42.559 Forgiving someone that hurt you does not mean that what they did was okay. 00:22:42.960 --> 00:22:48.319 It's not agreeing with it, it's not signing off on it, it's not saying it's okay. 00:22:48.880 --> 00:22:51.039 It's not even about them. 00:22:51.759 --> 00:22:59.200 Forgiving someone that sinned against you is you forgiving them for the sin that they sinned against you. 00:23:02.160 --> 00:23:08.319 It's not about them, it's your heart that is affected by harboring an offense. 00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:17.519 You've probably heard the old quote, uh, refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies, right? 00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:21.279 It's only hurting you. 00:23:21.359 --> 00:23:22.480 It's not hurting them. 00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:28.559 Many times the people that hurt you aren't even aware that they hurt you unless it was really, really bad. 00:23:29.680 --> 00:23:32.559 Another way to think about it is like a voodoo doll. 00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:41.440 It might sound kind of funny, but if you think about drinking poison and hoping it kills somebody else, that's basically kind of like a voodoo doll, right? 00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:45.519 It's like uh, except the doll is you. 00:23:47.440 --> 00:23:54.960 You're trying to hurt and control them by hurting yourself, which is actually manipulation and a form of witchcraft. 00:23:56.160 --> 00:23:58.480 Voodoo is just witchcraft. 00:23:58.960 --> 00:24:01.440 Saying, I'm I'm in control here. 00:24:01.680 --> 00:24:03.920 I am judge and jury. 00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:09.200 I'm gonna decide and determine if you get off or if you go free. 00:24:10.880 --> 00:24:14.720 Colossians 3 13, one of my favorite uh scriptures. 00:24:14.960 --> 00:24:19.759 The book of Colossians, maybe one of my favorite books in the whole Bible for sure. 00:24:20.240 --> 00:24:22.720 Says, make allowance for each other's faults. 00:24:22.880 --> 00:24:25.920 We're gonna come back to that one in a couple of weeks. 00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:32.480 Make allowance for each other's faults, listen, and forgive anyone who offends you. 00:24:33.839 --> 00:24:38.160 That's a big that covers a lot of people and a lot of things, doesn't it? 00:24:38.960 --> 00:24:39.519 Why? 00:24:39.759 --> 00:24:46.799 Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 00:24:46.960 --> 00:24:47.759 It's a command. 00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:50.559 Again, this is a mega theme of the Bible. 00:24:50.720 --> 00:24:59.519 If you start reading scripture and you start looking for the theme of forgiveness, you will see it everywhere. 00:24:59.759 --> 00:25:06.960 Matthew 6, 9, Jesus is teaching the Lord's what we know as the Lord's Prayer. 00:25:07.359 --> 00:25:08.799 Powerful prayer. 00:25:10.160 --> 00:25:12.000 I believe it's a framework for prayer. 00:25:12.079 --> 00:25:17.839 I also believe it is a literal prayer that you pray that is a powerful declaration of faith. 00:25:18.160 --> 00:25:25.519 Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 00:25:25.759 --> 00:25:35.680 Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our debtors. 00:25:36.960 --> 00:25:40.000 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. 00:25:40.160 --> 00:25:46.880 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you. 00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:53.279 But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses. 00:25:53.440 --> 00:26:02.960 Now, when you think about the Lord's prayer, maybe you didn't realize how much of it is about the forgiveness, the giving and receiving of the forgiveness of sins. 00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:06.240 It's basically the point of the whole prayer. 00:26:07.839 --> 00:26:13.440 The forgiveness that God gives us comes with great responsibility. 00:26:13.599 --> 00:26:18.079 How many of you like Spider-Man, a little Stan Lee wisdom there? 00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:22.640 With great power comes great responsibility, right? 00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:28.559 Jesus said, to whom much is given, much will be required. 00:26:28.960 --> 00:26:31.359 To whom much is given, much will be forgiven. 00:26:31.519 --> 00:26:34.799 How many of you know we've been given much forgiveness? 00:26:35.519 --> 00:26:38.640 There's no degrees of separation from God. 00:26:38.960 --> 00:26:47.200 Your sin separated you from God as much as anybody's sin on the planet has ever, in the history of sin, separated them from God. 00:26:47.359 --> 00:26:49.599 There's no degrees of separation from God. 00:26:49.759 --> 00:26:53.759 You're either separated from God or you are connected in communion with God. 00:26:54.079 --> 00:26:56.559 We've all been forgiven the same amount. 00:26:56.799 --> 00:27:01.440 I love that verse that says, He who's been forgiven much loves much. 00:27:01.599 --> 00:27:04.240 That's all depending on your revelation. 00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:15.200 You control the dial, the temperature of the heat of your love strictly by understanding how much you've been forgiven. 00:27:16.079 --> 00:27:28.720 And I'm convinced the person who really has revelation of how much they've been forgiven would never, even for a second, refuse to forgive someone that they needed to forgive. 00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:32.799 We must receive it and we must give it. 00:27:33.680 --> 00:27:38.160 Never underestimate the power of forgiving and releasing someone from an offense. 00:27:38.319 --> 00:27:45.119 Few things are as healing to you and to that relationship than forgiving. 00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:46.559 And here's another little secret. 00:27:46.720 --> 00:27:47.680 You want another secret? 00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:57.200 First secret was forgiving someone isn't signing off on it, isn't agreeing that what they did was okay or that it's okay if it happens again. 00:27:57.359 --> 00:27:58.640 It has nothing to do with that. 00:27:58.799 --> 00:28:00.000 Here's another secret. 00:28:00.240 --> 00:28:03.440 They don't have to apologize to be forgiven. 00:28:04.319 --> 00:28:06.400 They don't have to apologize for being forgiven. 00:28:06.480 --> 00:28:08.000 You don't even have to have a conversation with them. 00:28:08.079 --> 00:28:11.440 They don't even have to be alive for you to forgive them. 00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:19.839 Forgiving an offense is a singular person's job. 00:28:20.559 --> 00:28:23.599 It only requires one person, you. 00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:39.279 It means to omit. 00:28:40.160 --> 00:28:56.400 It means to let go, to give up a debt, to cancel, to give up, to no longer allow, not listen to this, not to hinder, I'm gonna tie this in a war series to away from one to another place. 00:28:56.720 --> 00:29:04.079 So it means to let go, to release somebody. 00:29:07.519 --> 00:29:09.039 Not to hinder. 00:29:09.279 --> 00:29:11.519 Remember, Jesus said, if you forgive them, they'll be forgiven. 00:29:11.599 --> 00:29:13.680 If you don't forgive them, they're not forgiven. 00:29:15.759 --> 00:29:18.319 Forgive means to release. 00:29:18.400 --> 00:29:21.759 So then what's the opposite of forgive is really offense. 00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:24.480 Offense is the Greek word scandalon. 00:29:24.880 --> 00:29:31.440 Scandalon means a trap or a snare, a stumbling block or impediment. 00:29:32.160 --> 00:29:32.480 Okay? 00:29:32.960 --> 00:29:35.440 That means something that hinders you. 00:29:37.279 --> 00:29:42.160 So forgiving, forgiveness, forgiving is something that releases you. 00:29:42.480 --> 00:29:46.480 Offense is something that traps you or hinders you. 00:29:47.839 --> 00:29:57.519 Now remember, we defined what it means to be blessed or what it means to be cursed in the series we did, the last series we did, the door, and to be blessed. 00:29:57.680 --> 00:30:00.799 So forgiveness is connected to being blessed. 00:30:01.039 --> 00:30:06.960 Because being blessed means to move down the road, to advance or to increase. 00:30:08.079 --> 00:30:10.799 To advance or to increase, right? 00:30:11.440 --> 00:30:17.440 Now, if scandalon is present in your life, are you blessed? 00:30:17.680 --> 00:30:26.559 You can't, can you, can you be stuck and trapped and impeded and hindered and be advancing and moving forward at the same time? 00:30:26.880 --> 00:30:27.200 No. 00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:28.960 It's one or the other. 00:30:29.200 --> 00:30:30.319 That's what I was saying. 00:30:30.720 --> 00:30:33.680 This principle stops everything. 00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:42.640 When we get hung up on offense, it shuts down all forward progress in our life. 00:30:42.960 --> 00:30:50.079 We will not grow spiritually, we will not grow mentally, emotionally, relationally, everything shuts down. 00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:54.799 And so offense then is connected to being cursed. 00:30:54.960 --> 00:31:05.200 The definition of cursed, remember, is to be made bitter, to be stuck, to cause, to be shaken, to be alone or to decrease, right? 00:31:05.440 --> 00:31:08.720 So blessed is to advance, to move forward. 00:31:09.279 --> 00:31:12.720 Cursed is to be stuck or to decrease. 00:31:13.279 --> 00:31:17.759 Offense causes us to be stuck and to lose stuff. 00:31:20.079 --> 00:31:30.400 Forgiveness causes us to be released, to be released from the trap, to be unhindered, to release somebody, but we're also releasing ourselves. 00:31:30.640 --> 00:31:37.279 Because offense is a bond, it's a a binding of yourself to that person. 00:31:39.839 --> 00:31:51.279 You know, when I was uh seven years old, my parents divorced, and many of you know my story, but I want to share this one as a as just my personal one situation. 00:31:51.440 --> 00:31:58.480 I have many, but one situation that I saw the power of forgiveness do an incredible work in my family. 00:31:58.799 --> 00:32:00.400 Parents divorced when I was seven. 00:32:00.559 --> 00:32:03.599 My mom raised me, my brother, my sister as a single mom. 00:32:03.759 --> 00:32:11.359 Our relationship with our dad just kind of disintegrated, and we just went on with our lives without having a relationship with him. 00:32:11.839 --> 00:32:13.119 And it was painful. 00:32:13.200 --> 00:32:14.160 It caused a lot of hurt. 00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:23.119 I'm the youngest, uh, and it created a lot of hindrances in my life from the rejection, from the hurt. 00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:32.319 And fast forward to being a 23-year-old young adult in drug rehab. 00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:35.920 My life had become completely unmanageable. 00:32:36.079 --> 00:32:37.599 And a lot of you know that story. 00:32:37.680 --> 00:32:40.240 I won't get in the details there, but things weren't good. 00:32:40.400 --> 00:32:41.839 My soul was not good. 00:32:42.000 --> 00:32:43.039 I wasn't thriving. 00:32:43.119 --> 00:32:44.799 I was stuck to say the least. 00:32:44.960 --> 00:32:48.799 I was stuck and in decrease. 00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:53.519 And I'm sitting at this breakfast table in this living area. 00:32:53.680 --> 00:32:54.400 I got up early. 00:32:54.480 --> 00:32:59.599 I would get up early in the morning and I would read and I would prayer journal and I would pray. 00:33:00.319 --> 00:33:02.160 And the Holy Spirit spoke to me. 00:33:02.319 --> 00:33:11.039 I barely knew how to even hear from the Lord, but it was one of those moments the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, Write your dad a letter. 00:33:12.079 --> 00:33:18.799 And I remember had just I just had the thought, man, I am healed. 00:33:18.960 --> 00:33:22.400 Like God has delivered me from that orphan mentality. 00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:23.680 I am healed. 00:33:23.839 --> 00:33:27.599 I will be able to be a responsible, healthy man. 00:33:27.759 --> 00:33:29.519 I'll be able to be a great husband. 00:33:29.599 --> 00:33:31.359 I'll be able to be a great father. 00:33:31.599 --> 00:33:37.759 I will no longer be hindered by the fact that I don't have a dad, that I am not in a relationship with my dad. 00:33:37.839 --> 00:33:41.680 I remember thinking, that's not, that is no longer going to affect me. 00:33:41.759 --> 00:33:44.160 And I just remember feeling this freedom. 00:33:44.400 --> 00:33:47.440 And on the heels of that, the Holy Spirit is like, write your dad a letter. 00:33:47.519 --> 00:33:49.039 And I'm like, I'm good, actually. 00:33:49.119 --> 00:33:50.640 I don't need to do that. 00:33:52.319 --> 00:33:54.160 And the Holy Spirit's like, write your dad a letter. 00:33:54.240 --> 00:33:58.400 And so I started writing, and I feel like the Holy Spirit even told me what to say. 00:34:00.079 --> 00:34:08.239 And I haven't talked, I'm 23 years old, hadn't really talked to my dad since I was about 12 at this point, maybe. 00:34:08.559 --> 00:34:10.000 No relationship. 00:34:10.239 --> 00:34:11.760 I mean, we knew where each other were. 00:34:11.840 --> 00:34:14.480 We would keep up through other people and stuff like that. 00:34:14.639 --> 00:34:19.679 And so I wrote him this letter, mailed it off. 00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:30.239 About a week later, I get a letter in the mail and I open it up and it says, it's from my dad, obviously, it says, Your letter was the best thing that's ever happened to me. 00:34:30.880 --> 00:34:40.800 And in that letter, not only was I forgiving him, I was apologizing for anything I might have done to negatively affect our relationship. 00:34:40.960 --> 00:34:47.519 Even though I was only 11, 12 years old, I still took responsibility and said, I forgive you. 00:34:47.599 --> 00:34:52.159 I'm not asking, I don't, I don't, I'm not asking you to answer for what happened. 00:34:52.480 --> 00:34:56.079 I completely forgive you, and I want to apologize for anything I may have done. 00:34:56.159 --> 00:34:57.599 That was the gist of the letter. 00:34:57.840 --> 00:35:01.760 But I also said, but I would like to have a relationship with you. 00:35:02.079 --> 00:35:04.960 So I get this letter back, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. 00:35:05.039 --> 00:35:07.599 And so we start talking back and forth. 00:35:07.920 --> 00:35:18.320 And because I truly forgave and released all of that, God began to reconcile our relationship. 00:35:19.280 --> 00:35:22.639 Now, reconciliation, we'll talk about this in a little bit. 00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:29.360 Reconciliation is not always possible, but forgiveness is always possible because it only requires one person, you. 00:35:30.400 --> 00:35:32.159 It's an act of your will. 00:35:32.960 --> 00:35:40.239 Whether or not there's reconciliation requires two people, and it's an act of their will, and that's where it gets complicated. 00:35:40.400 --> 00:35:42.639 And sometimes not even God's will. 00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:44.960 But in this situation, it was God's will. 00:35:45.119 --> 00:35:46.239 So we reconcile. 00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:50.159 And then that that led to my brother and my sister asking questions. 00:35:50.320 --> 00:35:57.360 Hey, Ben, I heard you're talking to dad, heard you're going to dinner with dad, heard your you guys have been talking and meeting up, and you know, how's he doing? 00:35:57.440 --> 00:35:59.760 And I would say, he's good, you should call him. 00:36:00.320 --> 00:36:03.039 And then when I was with him, he would say, How's your brother? 00:36:03.119 --> 00:36:03.760 How's your sister? 00:36:03.840 --> 00:36:04.239 They're good. 00:36:04.320 --> 00:36:05.199 You should call him. 00:36:05.440 --> 00:36:09.360 I wasn't trying to put myself in as any kind of a mediator. 00:36:11.119 --> 00:36:16.639 And about a year later, he and my sister reconciled. 00:36:17.199 --> 00:36:22.239 And then I don't know if it was six months, a year after that, him and my brother reconciled. 00:36:22.719 --> 00:36:24.559 And he didn't know any of his grandkids. 00:36:24.639 --> 00:36:28.400 I didn't have kids at the time, but he didn't know any of his grandkids. 00:36:28.480 --> 00:36:31.440 He had four grandkids, didn't know any of them. 00:36:32.239 --> 00:36:38.639 And so when he reconciled with them, they would start going over there, and he was able to meet his grandkids and spend some time with them. 00:36:38.719 --> 00:36:44.880 And it was, there was just this slow, took a long time, but there was this slow, beautiful reconciliation. 00:36:45.440 --> 00:36:52.960 And so then we got married, we started having kids, and and he uh he was there for all of it, didn't miss any of it. 00:36:53.199 --> 00:37:00.320 And then we started doing these annual trips to my dad lives on a lake, and we started doing these family trips to the lake every summer. 00:37:00.480 --> 00:37:02.559 And we did them for years and years and years every summer. 00:37:02.639 --> 00:37:09.119 And it would be my my brother, my sister, us, all of our kids, and some cousins and stuff would come. 00:37:09.280 --> 00:37:10.880 And it was just a beautiful time. 00:37:10.960 --> 00:37:15.599 There was, you know, at least 15 of us, and we'd all be back there one year. 00:37:15.679 --> 00:37:18.639 I think it was like the third or fourth year that we had done it. 00:37:18.880 --> 00:37:23.199 I was sitting on the back patio and I was just looking and watching everybody. 00:37:23.360 --> 00:37:33.679 My dad's out there, all kids, all the grandkids, everybody we were cooking out, eating food, and uh yeah, my mom even came on a couple of those uh trips. 00:37:34.320 --> 00:37:39.679 It's just this beautiful, wonderful family picture. 00:37:40.159 --> 00:37:42.800 And I'm sitting there and the Holy Spirit dropped this on me. 00:37:42.880 --> 00:37:49.599 He said, He said, You see all that, all that reconciliation, all that relationship. 00:37:50.480 --> 00:37:57.199 He said, You had no idea what was riding on one decision to forgive. 00:37:57.840 --> 00:38:09.440 He said, None of this would have happened had you not humbled yourself as the youngest in your family, had you not humbled yourself and chosen to forgive and to seek reconciliation. 00:38:10.320 --> 00:38:11.840 It just blew my mind. 00:38:12.159 --> 00:38:14.800 The power of one act of forgiveness. 00:38:14.960 --> 00:38:18.400 Now that's not always gonna be the result, but I saw it. 00:38:18.639 --> 00:38:26.239 It's changed our family, and I know that it would not have happened had I not wrote that letter that day in obedience to the Holy Spirit. 00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:26.960 Amen. 00:38:28.880 --> 00:38:33.519 I love this scripture in Matthew 13, verse 57. 00:38:35.199 --> 00:38:37.519 This is when Jesus was in Nazareth. 00:38:37.679 --> 00:38:47.119 You may remember the story when he went to Nazareth, his hometown, and it says this, and they took what offense at him. 00:38:48.239 --> 00:38:49.519 What does that mean? 00:38:49.840 --> 00:38:54.480 Scandalon, stumbling block, trap, hindrance. 00:38:54.880 --> 00:39:04.480 They took offense at him, but Jesus said to them, A prophet is not without honor except in his own town and in his own home. 00:39:04.719 --> 00:39:06.559 And listen, what was the result? 00:39:06.800 --> 00:39:13.280 And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith. 00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:17.119 That's that's a powerful correlation right there. 00:39:17.440 --> 00:39:27.679 That there's a connection between being willing to forgive or not, and a lack of faith or the presence of faith. 00:39:28.320 --> 00:39:38.960 God's ability to move supernaturally in our life hinges on our ability to forgive or not forgive. 00:39:39.280 --> 00:39:40.320 That's just amazing. 00:39:40.400 --> 00:39:48.639