You Can Train Your Brain To Work For You

Your brain is trying to help you, but sometimes that “help” looks like worst-case stories, scattered focus, and a constant low-grade panic that nothing is getting done. We slow it down and get specific about mind management: what it is, what it looks like when you are not doing it, and why it quietly impacts your work, your home life, and the way people experience you.

Together with Marc Hildebrand of Modern Leadership Coaching, we talk about the classic thought spiral, how it pulls you off the task in front of you, and why overwhelm is often a signal that your attention is split into a thousand tiny obligations. Then we get practical with tools you can use immediately, including pausing on purpose, listening to what your brain is saying, and using self talk to interrupt the noise. We also unpack the “safety brain” and how it was designed to protect you, but can also shut you down right before you record, lead, speak up, or take a risk that matters.

You will hear a real workplace story with multiple major changes in a single day and how staying calm comes from asking better questions, not pretending you are fine. If you want more focus, clearer decisions, stronger emotional regulation, and a leadership mindset people naturally trust, this conversation gives you a grounded place to start. Subscribe for more, share this with a friend who is feeling scattered, and leave a review with the one thought pattern you are ready to break.

Interested in working with Cynthia?  Please visit purposefullivingcoaching.us

Transcript

Welcome And Mind Management Defined

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Purposeful Living with Cynthia Van Warmer, where we slow down long enough to see what's really happening and take our power back without losing our grace.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

So today we're going to be talking about managing your mind. And I know that's like one of your favorite things in the world. So I'd love for you to share like, what do you even mean by managing your mind? So how would you describe that?

SPEAKER_01 0:30

I would describe it as being in control of my thoughts, my actions, and my words. Managing your mind is everything tied up in a pretty red bow when we have control and we have the power to use that mind to our benefit.

Signs Your Mind Is In Charge

SPEAKER_00 1:06

So what what does it actually look like when people don't manage their mind?

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Ooh. Oh, that's a good one, Mark. That's a good one. Um I can think of like five off the top of my head. We react quickly. We let our brain spiral with all these different thoughts, which are usually what's wrong, broken, and missing. And it just keeps going. It keeps going. Assuming the worst. That one comes up a lot, right? Always assuming the worst from what's going on on the outside world. Carrying energy for situations that have nothing to do with us. And feeling overwhelmed and scattered. You have no control of what's going on in your brain. That's what that would look like.

How Spiraling Wrecks Your Focus

SPEAKER_00 2:14

I'm curious when you think about, and you can go down any of these path paths you just shared, what kind of impact does that have, not just on in the area that you're like most thinking about in that moment or being challenged by, but like other areas of your life when you are not managing your mind?

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Well, let's take the uh spiraling of the thoughts. Sitting here working, right? Career working on the computer. And then you're supposed to be working, right? We're supposed to be focused on working, the task at hand. But then we're thinking about what's for dinner? I gotta let the dog out. Oh, I got to go get groceries. I have to do this, do that. Are we really focusing? No, our brain is just spiraling on all of these other things that we have to do in that moment instead of focusing on what we're supposed to be doing.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

So, in that scenario, what do you think shifts when you start getting good at managing your mind? Like let's say you're talking about like being on the computer working, right? And having all of these spiraling thoughts. What do you think, what do you think that shift looks like?

Self Talk And The Safety Brain

SPEAKER_01 3:38

The shift, I talk to my brain. I talk to my brain, not just in thought. It talks to my brain out loud so that my brain can hear me. Right? Because my brain to me is a part of me, but also if I don't control it, it could be like an outside, like, yeah, like two Cynthia's. That's not a good thing. So managing your mind is taking that pause and listening, intentionally listening to what your brain is trying to tell you. I can't do this. Pause a second. What do you mean I can't do this? I can do anything I set my mind to. I pause as soon as I hear the brain tell me something to keep me safe, right? Because that's all the brain is doing. The brain was designed to keep us safe. Back in the caveman days, right? We didn't want to get eaten by a saber-toothed tiger. So we were hide when we saw that tiger. Or when we're crossing the street, we don't, or the brain says, hey, stop, there's a bus coming. But the brain does this on autopilot. I don't want the brain keeping me safe. When I'm about ready to hop on and do a recording for a podcast, no, this isn't the right time. This isn't the right content. Oh, this isn't, this isn't. No, no. I tell the brain, shut up. I don't need you to keep me safe right now. I'll let you know when you need to keep me safe. Like in front of the bus, don't cross the street. You know what I mean? Pay attention when you're driving. Yes. Yes, brain, thank you. Thank you for keeping me safe. But there's moments in our lives where we don't need the brain to keep us safe. But if we pause and ask ourselves some powerful questions, how do I want to show up? Why am I doing what I'm doing? Why am I not doing what I'm doing? Then we tell the brain that no, there's something else that I want to be thinking right now, and this is why.

Focus Others Notice And Leadership Story

SPEAKER_00 6:24

So I have a question because some people think that managing your mind other people don't notice when you're managing your mind. Like it doesn't really impact people if I don't manage my mind. So I'm curious like, what do you think other people start to notice when you get good at managing your mind?

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Focus, control, and clarity. Those are the three big ones. We can take an example of the brain having five million different things, and then we don't do anything. Is that noticeable? Oh, you betcha. Hey, how come dinner's not on the table? Hey, how come you didn't vacuum the house? Hey, how come your work ain't done? Versus my work's done, the dinner's on the table, and X, Y, and Z. Because we have control of what we're gonna do and how we're gonna do it all day long, every single day. So can you notice nothing's done, and then you're crushing it? Will everybody else be able to notice? You betcha. You betcha.

SPEAKER_00 7:43

I I want you to share a story in this area because you get this a lot, and that is um when you're presented with opportunities, whether it's at work, at home, wherever, um, and you respond differently than most people do. You have people who come up to you and go, how did you do that? How did you still show up as your best self? Because in that situation, I may have lost it. So when you think about that in um those scenarios, I'd love for you to share kind of a scenario when that happened and what kind of impact that helped make for the other person.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Well, we'll take career, for instance. We all know that there's a lot of different things that happen throughout the day in the corporate world. And one instance, there were four different changes, all in the same day. All in the same day. And people saw me pause, ask powerful questions in reference to each four of the changes. And if I had to dive deeper in with more questions, then of course I'm a question queen. So I will ask more questions. Instead of getting so infuriated and frustrated and overwhelmed because you just put more stuff on my plate. I want to know the why. We pause. Why? Why? And people do come up to me. Oh my God, I would have been so stressed out. And how do you do that? I don't want to show up that way. I have a choice. I can show up frustrated and overwhelmed, or I can be over here, cool, calm, and collective, and show up as that leader, that powerful leader that I am, and be that role model. That's how I want to show up. And in return, I'm influencing the people around me. I'm performing at a higher level, and I'm a role model. I mean, because at the end of the day, that's why they're asking me, right? How do you show up? How? How? It took a while, it was a process. I leaned in, even in the messy times. This is the result. But I wanted it. I wanted it for me. We have to want stuff for ourselves first before we can impact our family, our careers, the world. It starts with you. Starts with me, and then it trickles down everywhere else in your life.