Lead And Own It: You Get To Decide And Then You Become Unstoppable

Waiting for permission can feel like patience, but it often turns into a quiet way of giving your power away. Cynthia Van Warmer and Marc Hildebrand dig into a simple, challenging idea: “Lead and own it.” Not the polished version that shows up when everything is perfect, but the real version where you decide, act, and believe before anyone approves your next move.

We talk through the difference between leading and owning it, and why the owning part is what most people avoid. Cynthia shares what it looks like when someone is stuck in approval-seeking, how that pattern keeps you from making real choices, and why your purpose and your why are the foundation for action. We also explore leading without a title, because leadership is not a job label. It is behavior, identity, and follow-through.

Then we get practical about the ripple effects: quiet grounded confidence, stronger self-trust, easier decision making, and influence that happens without forcing it. If you have been waiting for everything to line up or for someone to tell you you are ready, this is your nudge to take a baby step and own it.

Listen now, then share this with someone who needs it, subscribe for more purposeful leadership conversations, and leave a review with the decision you are making next.

Interested in working with Cynthia?  Please visit purposefullivingcoaching.us

Transcript

Welcome And The Big Idea<br>

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Purposeful Living with Cynthia Van Warmer, where we slow down long enough to see what's really happening and take our power back without losing our grace. Welcome back to Purposeful Living with Cynthia Van Warmer and my friend Mark Hildebrand. Mark's here today, and he's going to ask me some more powerful questions. Today's topic, Mark. Lead and own it.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

You guys better be ready for some fire today. That's all I got to say. All right, my friend.

What Lead And Own It Means<br>

SPEAKER_00 0:35

Um, I remember when you first brought up this concept um during one of our trainings, uh, one of the master coach certifications, um, having to do with like both leading it and owning it. And I love the combination of you putting these two together. Um, but we want to catch people up to speed. So when you say lead and own it, what what do you actually mean by that?

SPEAKER_01 0:54

Well, everybody can lead. We can lead ourselves. Hey, I gotta get out of bed today, I gotta go to work. That's leading. We can lead others, right? Which I do every day. But owning it is truly being committed and believing. And it all stems back to your why and your purpose. Owning it, taking that action because you want something different. So as we lead, I like I said, everybody can lead. But it's the owning part that's the hardest part.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

So so I want to see if you can give me an example of like what it looks like when somebody doesn't own it versus when somebody does own it. Because I want them to see the cost of not owning it. So, what comes up for you?

The Cost Of Waiting For Approval<br>

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Um one huge thing that I see all the time, every day, is people are waiting for approval. They're waiting. They're waiting for that person to say, yes, that's okay, go ahead and do that. Or yes, that's a great idea. Go ahead with that. So leading it is actually somebody says, okay, I give you approval. You're leading by saying, is this something that I really want to do? Or am I waiting for approval so I can decide not to do it? See, Mark, we all have our own choices, right? This is what this podcast is. You know, I've mentioned it before. We have choices. We have more choices than we think we have. So we're waiting for approval, owning it. We don't need permission to make our own decisions. We don't. What are we waiting for? We already have it right here. We don't need nobody to tell us. I don't need Mark to tell me, hey, start a podcast, even though he said I would be great at it. It was my decision to say, yes, I am going to do a podcast because it is important to me. That is my why. It is important to me to be able to share to the world or whoever's listening, so that I could help owning it, making that decision and running with it, taking that action. And don't forget to believe because when we believe, when we believe in things, there's no stopping us. We're unstoppable.

Decide Without A Title<br>

SPEAKER_00 3:51

What so what do you think changes when somebody stops waiting for that permission and they just decide? What do you think changes?

SPEAKER_01 3:59

I would have to say always showing up on your A. Because you're unstoppable. You know you can do it. You have the potential, you want that purposeful life. Leading without a title. Because we don't need a title to lead. And we certainly don't need a title, title to own it, because owning is our choice. We have that choice. And when we stop waiting for the approval or the permission from the others in the outside world, and we're able to make our own choices, because that's what we want, it makes a huge shift. Huge shift. Like just everybody listening, just make that one decision and own it. And then the next day I'd like you to reflect on that. How did that make you feel? It should be oh my god. Oh my god. If it's not, oh my god, then we may want to revisit. Right? Because decisions, we have choices, but we take the choice, and maybe it's not the right choice in the moment. But when that's a life lesson, we take that life lesson and we embed it in here so that the next time that comes up, we're not gonna go down that path. We're gonna choose to do something different to get something different this time.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

I love, I love the idea of um, you know, so many people wait for the title before they start to lead, but it's actually the opposite. You start leading before the title, and then they just give you the title usually because you're already doing it, right? You're already doing the things they're gonna ask you to do. So um, I'd love to hear like the ripple effect that you think that this makes in somebody's life when they start leading and owning it. What kind of ripple effect? Not only just for them, but even other people who might be watching them lead and own it. Because I know that you've had that where people ask you a lot, how do you do that? Like, right? And so it there's some influence going on there. So I'd love to talk about that ripple effect.

The Ripple Effects Of Owning It<br>

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Um, the ripple effect starts with confidence, quiet and grounded confidence. You'll notice that first. Then self-trust, which you guys know I'm all about that. That's one huge um thing when it comes to leadership and owning it. Decision making, oh, that gets easier. They're still hard decisions, don't get me wrong. But it will get easier where you don't need anybody's permission to make that decision, right? Um influencing without forcing it. Kind of what you said, right? Influencing without even forcing it. Just being you. Just be you every day. Show up as your best version. People notice. People notice leading from identity. That's what I do every day. I do hard things, that's what I do. I help people, and I'm gonna keep doing it. Till I can't, I will. Which is my favorite saying.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

I love it.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

I will.

SPEAKER_00 7:22

I definitely love it. So, so um, I kind of want to wrap this up in a bow and ask you this one question because a lot of people will watch you and be like, wow, like she does a powerful job at leading and owning it. But if somebody's just getting started on that, right? And they're listening to you now and they're like, can you give me one piece of advice that I could follow or that I can I can lean on to start getting to this point where I can lead it and own it at that level? What would you, what would you want them to take

One Rule To Start Today

SPEAKER_00 7:48

away?

SPEAKER_01 7:48

You don't wait have to wait for everything to be lined up for someone to tell you you're ready. You get to decide. And when you do, you stop waiting, you start leading. And it's baby steps. It's baby steps. Right? You don't have to wait for permission. Just do it.