This Is What Reclaiming Your Life Actually Looks Like

Exhaustion gets labeled as laziness all the time, but we see it differently: exhaustion is a signal. When we slow down long enough to listen, we can finally tell whether we are dealing with real physical fatigue that needs rest, or mental exhaustion that shows up when our brain is trying to keep us “safe” from change, growth, and hard conversations.

Marc Hillebrand joins me as we unpack how overfunctioning, people pleasing, and carrying too much can quietly drain your life. We talk about the cost of staying stuck, and why stuck does not mean broken. It often means you need awareness, support, and a process that helps you identify what is actually happening under the surface. We also get honest about how your brain can talk you out of the next right step by calling it “too much,” even when it is exactly what you want.

Then we get practical. I share what helped me shift from being a constant yes to setting clear boundaries, and why learning to say no can create confidence, empowerment, satisfaction, peace, and hope. We close with a simple exercise you can do today: write down what you want in life, and then write why it matters. That “why” unlocks purpose and momentum, and it can reveal what your exhaustion has been trying to tell you all along.

If you are navigating burnout, stress, mental fatigue, or work-life balance, this conversation will help you get clarity and move again. Subscribe for more, share this with a friend who is running on empty, and leave a review with the biggest signal your exhaustion has been sending you.

Interested in working with Cynthia?  Please visit purposefullivingcoaching.us

Transcript

Welcome And Today’s Theme

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Purposeful Living with Cynthia Van Warmer, where we slow down long enough to see what's really happening and take our power back without losing our grace.

SPEAKER_02 0:15

Hi, everybody. Welcome back to Purposeful Living with Cynthia Van Warmer. And my friend Mark Hillebrand is joining us again today. Because I love the man. Just saying.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

What's up, friend? Um, so pumped about today's topic. Um, I feel like I'm a part of purposeful living right now. This is amazing. Thank you for allowing me to be

Exhaustion As A Signal

SPEAKER_00 0:36

here, by the way. Um, so today's topic is exhaustion is a signal. All right. It is a signal. Um, so I'm curious when you say exhaustion is a signal, what do you actually mean by that?

SPEAKER_02 0:48

A lot of times we find ourselves overfunctioning. You know, we feel like we're carrying too much every day. Um, we start avoiding hard things, um, putting ourselves last. Okay. The difference between being tired and drained, right? So when we when we think about exhaustion, take this for instance, right? I just worked 40 hours this week, right? It's Friday. I'm exhausted. What do I mean by exhausted? Like, am I mentally exhausted or am I physically exhausted? So they're two different things, right? And exhaustion can happen from multiple, multiple things. Our brain is always trying to keep us safe. And when that happens, our brain will say, Well, you worked 40 hours, you know, you had so much going on, there was a trauma, and you don't have to do this podcast. You're tired, you're like totally exhausted. Prevents us from doing and moving forward. But first, we have to become aware. Is it really like physical fatigue? And give your per yourself permission to rest, to rest and recover. If it's not, then we find out why. Why our brain is saying, you're exhausted. My brain was telling me I'm exhausted. It's been a week. Which I might give you an example of, but it's been a week. And I told my brain, no. Exhausted or not, I am getting on here and I am going to do three episodes for my podcast because my people need to hear it. My friends need to hear it. This is real life. I don't ever say on this podcast that life was uh a rose garden. It's hard. There's hard times, but there's also great times, right? So exhaustion. Let's let's figure out together which exhaustion it is. Is it mental or is it physical?

Getting Unstuck By Asking For Help

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Friend, what what do you think is the cost of not actually finding out which version of exhaustion that is suffering, drained you just don't want to do anything.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

You're not moving. You're not moving towards what you really want in life. We call it stuck. Call it stuck. Doesn't mean I'm broken. Doesn't mean everybody out there who has the same problem is broken. We're not broken. We just need help. Like I talked to Mark. Raise your hand. Mark used to tell me. That's where growth starts. Be vulnerable. Ask for help. I to this day tell him the same thing. Mark, raise your hand. Right? Because once we find out which exhaustion it is, there's a process that we take being master coaches. We take our clients through to help us figure out which one that is. And how do we get past it together? Because processing is a journey. And the journey goes a lot smoother if you have that help.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

I love that. So uh I'm curious, and I and I'm sure a lot of people are like, um, what do you think starts to change when you like stop pushing through the exhaustion and instead you start listening to what it's actually trying to tell you or teach you?

Boundaries And Saying No

SPEAKER_02 5:00

Well, for me, I'm a yes girl. Sign me up. Yes, yes, yes, whether I need it or not. Yes, yes, I'll help you. Yes, I'll come over and cook dinner. Yes. It was exhausting. I had no me time. So the signal for my exhaustion was stop. I'm trying to tell you it's you time. Right? It's okay to say no. It's okay. And say yes to the things that really matter. And once that happens, it's like exhaustion isn't the same exhaustion anymore. It's something different. And why is it different? Because we chose to do something different. Okay, so we wanted something different. So things change. And for the people who don't like change, I just have a couple words. Change is hard. Our brain keeps us safe. Our brain does not want to do something new, it wants to just keep living small. But once we tell our brain, become aware of that's what's going on, we say no. This is what I mean about no. You tell the brain, no. I am done living this way. I want something better. I want something different. I want a better connection with my family. I want my business to make $100,000. And then we say no to the things that really don't matter as much as we thought.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

What do you think is the ripple effect of being able to do that?

SPEAKER_02 6:59

We we go back into you know, confidence. It creates confidence, it creates empowerment, satisfaction, peace, hope, and inspiration. That's what it creates. It opens up a whole nother door to you to get that something that you're craving that's been missing. We all have it. Our brain keeps us safe to not think about it. But if we slow down long enough to figure out what's happening and why we haven't met that goal or achieved that goal that we really want, because I it what's gonna make us happier? That's the first step.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

So somebody gets here to the end of the episode, and um, and they're they're wondering like what uh one piece of advice that they could actually implement like in their real life, what's something they can do to get started on this?

Write What You Want And Why

SPEAKER_02 8:20

I would say, because I love to do this, part of the process is sitting down and writing it down. What do I want in life? Why? Don't forget the why, because the why is gonna open up all these different feelings, all of your different things that you want, like your purpose, it's gonna bring out so much. So, what do I want? And don't filter it, right? Don't let the brain filter it, just write it all down, and then why? Why is this so meaningful and important to me, to my family, to the world? Why once you have that? That's the first step. And my my last thing is you are not alone. You do not have to do any of this alone. You have me? Mark is also a master coach. That's what we do. We help people become aware so that they can move. Keep moving, keep reaching that higher level. And how does that make us feel? Awesome. Awesome when we're able to help just one. You know, getting on getting on a one-on-one call. It's hard. But when you're done, you'll hop on that call and we'll ask you powerful questions. But at the end of the call, you get clarity. We get to know you on a one-on-one basis, so that the journey just grows. And with the journey growing, you and I are also growing. We're growing, we're becoming that person that we want to be, who we were meant to be.

SPEAKER_00 10:29

That is beautiful, friend. Um, I know we are eight episodes in, and somebody may have gotten to this point and said, you know, I love all the advice and direction, um, but I would really like to get some personal help, whether it's like being able to see what exhaustion is actually pointing to, right? Uh, whether it's leading it and owning it, all the different things that you've been able to talk here with um uh to people about. So if you have somebody who's there who wants some help, um, what can they do to get some help from you?

How To Get Coaching Support

SPEAKER_02 11:01

You can go to my website. We will be posting that in the show notes or the comments below. And once you get to the website, you click on start my journey. It's gonna take you to another page. It's going to be answering some questions on important information that I will need to be able to help you at that higher level. And if it's your time with any one of these episodes, I'm here for you. Let's go.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

Let's go. So, speaking of let's go, I know that you're gonna have some bonus episode that's gonna be coming out. You want to uh share a little bit of details about that?

Bonus Episode Teaser And Wrap

SPEAKER_02 11:42

I would love to. I'd love to. Yes, episode nine is a bonus. I did a presentation um for a direct marketing um team, and it went over a little bit deeper into we have two challenges. We have the technical ones, which we could just Google for the answer. But the adaptive one drives everything. And I go in deep to that, and I'm like, Mark, I can't hold this back. I can't hold this back. It was such a powerful presentation, and the feedback was oh my god. So I have to share it with all of you, and why not? Because it's gonna sum up this whole season. So say tune.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

I love it. That uh that replay is fire, is fire, is fire, and I think it's uh it helps to become aware of what you're actually dealing with, right? A lot of people assume they're dealing with one problem when in reality they're trying to fix the wrong one, which is why nothing is changing. So thank you for allowing me to be a part of this season, my friend. Um, thank you for always leaning in for how you always lead from the front. And um, I'll see you real soon.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

Thanks, Mark. I appreciate you.