How We Decided to Have a Child & Our Pregnancy Experience

For years, we said, "Not for us."

There was always another business goal to achieve, another country to visit, another adventure waiting around the corner. Like many couples, we wondered whether we would ever feel truly ready to have children.

In this episode, we share the honest story behind one of the biggest decisions of our lives: how we decided to start a family.

We talk openly about the conversations we had, the fears and doubts we faced, how our childhood experiences shaped our thinking, and what ultimately gave us the confidence to take this next step together.

This isn't a guide on how to know when you're ready. It's simply our personal journey through a decision that changed the course of our lives.

Whether you're thinking about having children, navigating a similar conversation with your partner, or are simply curious about our story, we hope this episode resonates with you.

Topics discussed:

• Deciding whether to have children
• Childhood experiences and their impact
• Fear, uncertainty, and taking the leap
• How long it took us to get pregnancy
• Pregnancy experience so far
• Ekaterina's lifestyle during pregnancy

Thank you for listening and being part of our journey.

Transcript

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Welcome to the Blake's Way. Life, Business and Unapologetic Conversations. I've spent 15 years of my career on that side of the camera, telling people on this side of the camera what to do and what to say. And after eight years of telling him what to do and what to say, he finally listened and agreed to share our story publicly. But Kate, this isn't just another boring business podcast, is it? No, it's not. It's about marriage, it's about business, it's about failures and wins. And about me not getting cancelled for my unwoked jokes. Enjoy. I think your inner child is the biggest child I've ever met. You just put that baby 2025, you lit that paper on fire, and then you put the ashes into your glass of champagne and then you drank it. And I was like, oh, once his tuba's up, I think we need to have a conversation about it. You looked at me, you threw back the cover and went, fertilize me. I don't wanna F up another person. F up, you're not in the NCT class now. Okay, I didn't want to fuck up. Under my responsibilities, we had breastfeeding and solid food feeding. I think that's fine. If you feed, you fill it up, I'll empty them out. Last time we talked about how we started our business. So this time we're gonna talk about how we started a family. You told me this earlier. I didn't realise that it was me that that came up with the whole idea. I didn't really realise. So we had a plan, a loose plan, to be child-free. Not technically, we started our family in 2020 when we got Georgie. So this is something that we really need to address because that dog has been with us for five and a half years, but we treat him like a child. He sits at our dinner table. Yeah, he gets a very luxury lifestyle, he's allowed to do anything he wants to do. He's quite spoiled, but at the same time, he's very good at everything. Like he's good as gold. Like currently he can't fucking walk without yanking your arm out. Okay, okay, pulling is is still is still something that we're you are trying to figure out. But technically, we started a family in 2020 first with a dog. But we thought that dog is the only kid that we will ever have. Do you remember us having the conversation back in the days thinking that kids are not necessarily for us? I feel like because I never I didn't have any brothers or sisters growing up, and then my first cousin arrived when I was I think 11 or 12. So it's a big age gap. So I spent a lot of time being the only young child around. I didn't really know how to deal with young children, and then even when my cousins did come along, what is like a 13, 14, 15-year-old just like hit puberty being a teenager, probably not like understandably, not interested in young babies. So I think I never got a chance to be around babies and see other people with children. So we we don't have much exposure to babies or to toddlers or to kids in general, you know, like and other than the fact that my best friend has got two kids. Yeah, I think this is the only kids that we spend the most time with. And I did have to apologize to him recently when you got pregnant. I I I spoke to him, I was like, I'm really sorry. I didn't understand what to do with children, but now I get it. And I feel like I'm trying to make up for lost time now. I'm like, I love playing with them. And you were actually a very selfish friend. Because I I remember you saying, like, oh, every time I spent time with James, like his focus is not on me, his focus is on children. I was like, oh chit chat. I'm putting this out there because that was the reality. You didn't say it like that. You don't expect that. I think your inner child is the biggest child I've ever met. Like, honestly, you know, like when women joke about like, oh, you know, this is my second baby because the first one is like 33-year-old. Like, I I can make a joke like this. So so we didn't think that kids were for us. Like, we wanted to travel the world, we wanted to dedicate ourselves to work. We were, I think we were fulfilling our like paternal needs through Georgie, and we were just not really thinking much about this. Like we we had those recurring conversations. Are we still in the same sort of on the same page? We don't want to have kids, yeah. We don't want to have kids, and we will just continue with our life. Yeah, but then you I could tell, right? Maybe I stopped asking you as much, but I could tell you, or maybe you said you were starting to think twice about that. And I I was never cut off either. I I wasn't like 100%, but neither of us were. I think that was the problem. We just didn't know, we knew it would change our lives, and we still understand it's gonna change our lives, but until even up until now, being eight months pregnant, we're still in denial that anything's changing. I like uh we can go more into that, but like the things that you think you're gonna be doing in the next five months is unbelievable. But you see, I was a bit terrified to become a mother because I had uh I had a challenge in childhood. Like I come from a dysfunctional family and loads of traumas that this gifted this experience gifted me, you know, and I always my my biggest worry was that I don't wanna F up another person. F up, you're not in the NCT class now. Okay, I didn't want to fuck up this poor child, you know, and put all the traumas that I've been carrying for the last like 30 years on that child. I knew that there was a lot of work that I needed to do before I bring that child because I could understand this responsibility. And I think I got always frustrated with people who would jump into this uh two feet jump in two feet two feet into having a child. They didn't prep uh with themselves like financially, mentally, spiritually, whatever. They just jumped into this, and then you see those children who were brought in families where parents didn't think twice before having them. So I thought either do it really well or don't do this at all. So, and I thought that we were just not doing this until the New Year's Eve of 2024. Because I remember like it was yesterday. So in our Russian tradition, you write on a piece of paper your wish. So different people wrote different things by the midnight you were absolutely wasted. And I didn't know if I could actually treat you seriously, but do you remember what you put on that uh wish? Uh no, only because you told me when we were talking about this. So Ben put there baby 2025, and me being me, so of course I was curious like what would he what he was putting, what you were putting on your piece of paper. So I had like a sneak peek at your paper, and I realized how like this hot flash went through throughout my whole body. I was like, what the fuck is this? You know, like we didn't talk about this. It's not like we were having like conversations recently about changing our mind from moving from being child free to having a child. You just put that baby 2025, you uh lit that paper on fire, and then you put the ashes into your glass of champagne, and then you drank it. And I was like, oh, once he sobers up, I think we need to have a conversation about it. But you said as well that it's there's a good thing in a couple if a man makes the decision or leads that conversation because it's something psych what is it? You said there's something psychological that's supposed to be more dad being more interesting. Well, yeah, but again, it's it's about you know in heterosexual couples, you know, like it's quite often like women they push for a baby because they're saying, you know, the clock is ticking because you as a father, you can become a father at 70 years old and it's fine, you know. We as as as women, you know, we have a certain biological clock that's ticking. And forcing your partner into having a baby, I think it's always the wrong way. I started thinking to myself, like, am I ready or do I want to have a child? And why do I want to have a child? And what was actually very surprising to me to realize is that I had this maternal need in me which I didn't accept to myself. You know, I was actually turning people around me into children. You know, I was treating my parents like they were my children, I was treating our employees like children, I was actually putting people into this like children sort of position, and I was mothering them. And uh I was like, why am I not just mothering my own child then? You know, I had all those concerns that I wouldn't be able to take responsibility for uh for for another soul. But then you've already been doing it. I've been already doing this, yeah. Like for two so many people, and my friends, and my family, and and our colleagues, and I was like, wow, then then it's silly. I should just, you know, fulfill my maternal need through having a child. And how but what sort of need do you think? What why did you change your mind? I guess it's something around if I think about it must have been around that New Year's Eve that things were inspiring me. Like we spent a while with your family, and you had a I think your nephew arrived. Yeah. A nephew there, and we met loads of young children, and there were people who were the same age as us, at the same life stage as us, having children around. And I think just being surrounded by all that and being drinking a lot of vodka in Russia for two weeks, kind of got my maybe got me emotional and figured I wanted that that that was not missing from my life, but I saw like if they can do it, I can fucking do it, no problem. But also I think you've all really inspired by this like family um not like family values, but like we were like a big family because my my dad, my dad just recently remarried, and suddenly from being a single child, I had two stepsisters, and they had their partners there, children there, and we were just like this big, big family. 20 people around. Yeah, one table. That was that was crazy. Yeah, I think yeah, that that as well, yeah. And that we okay, having we're planning to have one child, not fill up a 20-person dinner table, but it's a start, isn't it? Okay, we've got no brothers and sisters, so there's not gonna be any nephews and nieces and things, but yeah, that that to build something of our own, and as well, like I got then since you've been pregnant, I've been trying to think about this whole family heirloom thing, and as far as I'm aware, there's no family heirlooms to pass on, so I'm trying to find what's a family heirloom story I can start and pass on to our baby, like not as a baby, but you know, as he grows up. Yeah, so I think that it definitely is a part for me, like to to grow something of our own that's more than just a vegetable patch. But also, you know, like sell selflessly, you know, I re I have this energy in me and I have this love in me, and I want to give it to someone, you know, ideally someone who looks like me and has certain traits of me, you know. I hope he doesn't look too much like you as a boy selfishly as well. You know, when I was looking at our business, I realized uh who am I building this for? You know, like you previously mentioned on a on on another episode, like you know, there's obviously money can drive you and money can be a good motivator, or you can be like you know, you can tap into this avoidance motivation when you're trying to run away from a shithole. You know, we've experienced a shithole in our life, and you're just trying to run away from those crisis crises and those issues, but I realize that just for my own self, it's hard for me to like really push boundaries, really go for like some ambitious goals because I can just sustain this lifestyle and that that's enough. And I I I I thought that when I'm like 70 years old, you know, like what will inspire me to get up from my bed every morning, and I realize that having children, having grandchildren would really drive me forward, and I I need this extra external motivation to push for things. So January 2024, we have this conversation that yes, let's let's build a family, let's have a child. But it was 10 months until we actually started trying for a baby. I thought, and I think this is I I look back at it now, because we've been talking with other people about the being ready thing, which I laugh at myself now for because we were laughing at each other, we're like, what is being ready? That's what we that's why we didn't think we wanted kids in the first place. And I compare what I'm doing now, this whole nesting thing. You've done a little bit of nesting. I think really I've done more nesting than you, yeah. Being like a nesting, being like where we're like a bird, like setting the house up, getting ready for a baby. I'm craving a room for the baby, like in our flat. I'm so angry that we are stuck there now. Like when it gets to this point, I'm like, fuck, I want a nursery to paint. I need to fucking paint more. I've painted every room in the house has now been painted in the last month. Um, I've done all this stuff up with the like fix all the problems with the car that have been killing me for so long and just gone like left. The boiler's been fixed, the central heating's about to be fixed, the windows, I can't stop cleaning them. I've got the Hoover going around like four times a week, when before I was like once every two weeks and it was dust everywhere and it was a shithole. And I think this is what I thought I was doing for those ten months, like getting ready and preparing. In reality, I don't know what I was doing. Like, oh, getting us more financially secure. I don't think that happened because I thought we were having children. Like maybe we said yes to some things that like work projects that we otherwise wouldn't have done, but I think I was being naive and to think like, oh, better get ready, we're ready in ten months. There's no way. Maybe it was an excuse, like I didn't, I was still scared. But for whatever reason, like making that decision was something to get over the that first hurdle, and then I needed some time to like psych myself up. It's it's just a classic description of our family and our dynamic. It's just Ben Blake thinks that things magically just happened. Oh, financial stability just suddenly appeared. It's not like Kate plan, like a fucking financial planning and the sales and the cash flow plans just built in backwards. Just because you put it in a spreadsheet doesn't mean it's gonna happen, does it? No, but but you know, there were certain plans in place. So, like, you know, I w I I I was I was wondering for myself, uh okay, we're trying for the baby now, and what if we get pregnant on the first go? What needs to be in place so I can feel safe? You were so confident you thought like sex once and that's it. Yeah, that was very delusional of me. Um, but you know, going backwards into like actually, if I need to step out of the business, I had no idea how my pregnancy would go. What if I'll be out from month one, you know, pretty much. So so yeah, I put things into place and certain things that needed to happen in business because both you and I were so heavily involved into everyday running of the business. Like doing everything ourselves. Yeah. We had to build certain processes in place and certain automations in place, and we had to learn how to delegate more whilst get uh getting ready. Like there were certain things that we've done also around the house that we were did we actually or no? Apparently I I didn't I did a lot of painting. Yeah, you did a lot of painting. But that's real recent. I don't know, no, not really. Nothing we did around the house. But I I think we needed that time, those like 10 months to really just sit on this idea, talk more about this, and just figure out how we feel about this. Actually, actually, for our wedding anniversary in September, so that was like eight months after we made a decision that we want to have a baby. You pulled out like notes on your iPhone, and then we uh we we sat at a cafe and we were making our assumptions like okay, if we were to have a baby, uh firstly, uh like what what do we think we will be each doing with a baby? You know, like we sort of assign that oh, I'll be doing the bath time, like I'll be doing the feeding. Do you have that list? Yeah, I do have this list. Okay, go on. Oh, baby talk, yeah. Baby talk, 17th of September 2024. So uh under my responsibilities, we had breastfeeding and solid food feeding. Under Ben, we had bottle giving, push chair pushing, carrying bags, walking, bath, in playtime, joint, we put nappy changing and reading, and we had actually the list of principles, Ben. And the principles were uh no formula. I I think this is just linking back to actually me breastfeeding, if if I'm blessed to be able to do this. No iPad nanny, that sounds very much like you. No, that's a you thing. It's a me thing. iPad nanny with as in like don't use a na don't use the iPad. Yeah, I understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you're having got an iPad, sounds more like you. Um so reading stories, Saint Sons, brain engagement. Uh second hand uh secondhand clothing is fine, similar diet to parents, uh maybe wait a year for that. Yeah, routine is key, and that we will have a housekeeper from nine months pregnant. So this is what we put on that list in September 2024. So that happened before we even started trying for the baby. Uh and then uh and then yeah, and then we started trying for the baby. That's quite impressive that we didn't argue like now going through that, nothing we've argued about. That all sounds like what we've still we're still planning to do, yeah. That's just this is a good thing. Have you just manipulated that into my our lives now? Uh I mean we put this on paper, but I should put your signature there, so just confirm signed. I can keep you accountable against this list. Was it terrifying to actually make this uh step? Uh terrifying no. But I never I never thought sex would be so difficult. Like just motivating yourself. Like I can remember, and this is this is detail, but I'll share this because it made me laugh. You I came home like for late one night I'd been out somewhere, and you looked at me. You like you would had a rough day, clearly, like your hair was in a state, like you were wearing like an old t-shirt with a stain in it. You looked at me, you threw back the cover and went, fertilize me. And that was not the night Archie was made, I don't think. Yeah, dedication. But you you learn certain things sex on a schedule, because you don't you may be going through your life thinking that you can get pregnant at any point, any time, and then you realize there is a tight window. Yeah, I did that I didn't realise. Like people who accidentally get pregnant, like I do not understand how. Like when you understand how all these things have to be like perfectly aligned. I guess some people are uh more fertile than others, but yeah, that accidentally getting pregnant, like if it's like a a bad accident, like very unlucky. How does that happen? Yeah, it's not that simple. There's like it's it's a science. It's like algebra, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I thought that I'll get pregnant on the first go. I remember being absolutely devastated when uh I was so desperate to see that yes, I'm pregnant, and then I bought this early pregnancy test before even without waiting for for my period to start, and then it was negative. And I I remember being so upset and so dishearted, and then we would never be pregnant. That's what you felt in that moment, right? I I was uh catastrophizing this whole situation. I was like, oh my god, I didn't get pregnant. Everyone around me gets pregnant, and I'm not getting pregnant, and what if now I will never be able to get pregnant? Like I went off the spiral. Yeah, that was hard to bring you back down to earth. But then I said to you, sit like we set a six-month window to try and get pregnant, and we don't question anything. For the first six months, if it happens, it happens, great. If it doesn't happen, like relax, there's another month. But there's something that And it took exactly six months. Well I remember now what we were doing. But what now I remember what I needed this extra time for as well before we actually started trying. For the baby is to sort out our health, you know, like because we did loads of like blood tests, and uh I was like sorting out any like the gynecological problems, just making sure that our bodies were fully ready for uh producing a child, and uh I am the one who loved a party and loved drinking and going out, and I I knew that I needed some cleansing, and that was the time for me when I started cutting down alcohol as well, and like this is where I started training for HIROX as well. You like you've always been active your whole life, but I think um that's also important to mention that we knew that on a health level we were solid because we had all those tests done, but we never checked our fertility. And this is what you said to me, okay. Let's give us six months, we'll see if we are if we will be able to get pregnant during this time, and if we are not, then we will go to the fertility clinic and start actually digging digging deeper into the problem. And do you remember how I shared the news? Uh not exactly, but I remember it being a bit of a weird experience. Uh I wasn't you did something that pissed me off like around the same time, so it kind of took the edge off it a bit. Was it you I can't w what do you remember of it? Because you were you were weird. You were so weird about it. I I I was weird, I didn't get the reaction from you that I didn't know. You were weird first. You definitely were weird to start with. Okay, so what happened is that my best friend came to visit me in the UK and we had an amazing week with her, and I was thinking, wow, there's one thing that could actually make this weekend even better. If I discovered I was pregnant exactly the weekend when she was there, and uh it was still a couple of days before uh my period was supposed to start, so I was like, Alright, I'll do the I'll do the test. I I had a dream as well the night before, and I think I saw in the dream that I was pregnant, so I was like, okay, we'll see how it goes. I woke up at 6 a.m. I was all like buzzing. I was like, alright, I'm gonna go and do the test. So and I did a test. Yeah, also that's like you always did the test. You woke up when I was asleep. You never woke me up. Every month you'd do a pregnancy test like it was just your thing. I appreciate it's happening in your body, but you never it was weird that you didn't wake me up. I a few tests we did together, come on. There were a few tests where we were I I it's just your poor memory, mate. You don't remember what you had for breakfast. Most of the time you came in with a stick, you're like, I've done a wee. But yeah, this time around I did a Wii as well, and then I I was looking at a test, just like waiting for the reaction. I think I have a I have a video of it, obviously, and and then I see that it says pregnant, and I'm like, oh my fucking god. And I knew that it's it's really good. Like if it it was still a few days before my period was to to start, it meant that my pregnancy hormone was really high because it picked up immediately on that electric um electronic test. So and uh and this is why I think it's weird, like instead of running with that uh stick to the bathroom where oh sorry, to the bedroom where you slept, I went to the guest room where my best friend slept and I told her Stasia and I literally threw the stick at her. Uh and then she grabbed it and she was like, Oh my god, you're pregnant! And then we were just like crying in on the sofa and like cuddling and just sharing this experience together. But to my defense, uh me and Stasia have been together since uh 2008. You and I have been together since 2017. This is a secret not secret, sacred. It's an important relationship in my life, and this is how I did defend myself that I shared that experience first with my friend and then with you. And I think you got pissed off. Yeah, of course. Like she she's a lovely person, but she had fuck all to do with it. And you thought it was like more important to share it with her. And I I share this with you literally, like two minutes later. You you got up and I remember that you I tell you what, I'm gonna tell you it's like when you give birth, I'm gonna take Archie and I'm gonna walk out of the hospital and go and show my friends, and then I'll come back to the hospital and go, Oh, do you oh did you wanna cuddle the baby and see how it feels? Okay. I'm sorry. Yeah, no, I now you told that I I did feel a bit, I definitely felt like awkward. Also, you came into the bathroom, you didn't really say anything, you just like kind of stood there with a pregnancy test that I couldn't really see. I'd just woken up and did something. You were brushing your teeth, and then I showed you the pregnancy test, and you were there like, mm-hmm. And I was like, what about all those Instagram videos where I saw like a massive like reveal and then you know I expected you to be in tears and excitement and pick me up and twist me in a fucking dance, you know? And then there was nothing of that, you just kept continuing brushing your teeth. I was like, great. I didn't know if it was two lines or one line anyway at the time. No, but but fair enough. I think I think you just had like a shock uh in you, and then maybe like and then we started like prepping for breakfast, and I was all like buzzing and excited about being pregnant. Uh and then I think you started like I think the idea of it started like coming to you, and literally like in 20 seconds, you did pick me up, and then we like started spinning me around, and then you know, you got the reaction that expected from you in the first place. So we did have this special moment uh eventually. Uh but I you pissed me off the way that you like delivered to me, but did it piss you off how I reacted as well? Yeah, absolutely. I was like, what the hell? Like, you know, I just you have certain expectations, but I think because I don't have any close friends who who have had children, you know, I don't know what experience to expect apart from the one I can see on social media. And the so social media is all you know fake. Exactly. But I remember like it was like probably one of the happiest days of my life. Like I was just so buzzing. How better uh better than our wedding day? I think probably better, but in a in a sense that on the wedding day we still had loads of responsibility. You know, we had family there and there was still like some me being a-of-like, but it was just but also That's one moment, the wedding day is a whole day, isn't it? Like you can't be like, oh, that moment when they put the ring on my finger. Yeah, but also the fact that I got to share this obviously with you, but I share my life with you, my business with you, everything with you, you know. But also the fact that my best friend was there to She was there at the wedding. Yes, I know, but I I think it's just it was just three of us, you know, like I mean four of us at that moment. It's just we were just in our home and with Georgie, I don't know, it just was like But that was better than Yeah, I I think I think it was better, but also I think it was a relief that okay, it happened, we're here now, and let's see, let's see how it goes. But that was just for one month, and then on your birthday it took a turn. Oh yeah, and I made I I was being a gentleman, even that was my birthday. I was cooking like a lovely meal, and you started getting a bit like turning your nose up and like that looks a bit and overnight suddenly you decided that you weren't gonna eat anything. Yeah, you didn't have cravings, you had the opposite. You just wouldn't eat stuff, like anything. There was a time when you would only eat noodles, like boiled noodles. Yeah, and ice cream. Yeah, what a weird combo. Yeah, I know. But I But bread was the first thing. You just like you couldn't look at bread, make you feel sick. Uh that was horrendous because it literally just overnight everything changed. And it really ruined that lovely cabin holiday that we had in Devon because I was like, I can't eat anything. I wasn't actually sick, I didn't experience morning sickness, and I know I'm really blessed that I didn't have those physical reactions to you know pregnancy that it you can take. But just figuring out what to eat on an everyday basis and the breakfast was the biggest thing because I always start my day with a massive breakfast. You love bread, you love eggs, you couldn't eat bre bread was like just too like I didn't you didn't like eggs? I didn't have a slice of breakf uh uh of bread for like two months. Yeah, and that was for me insane when I always have like a toast with like hummus and avocado and a salmon or something on top. Like I actually lost weight during the first trimester, and I was so pissed off with this whole like food aversion situation, and it did affect my mood massively because you're still you're not physically like you know, like your body hasn't changed, but your hormones are changing, your mood is changing. I remember that I was like more like agitated and irritated and because you were hungry all the time. Yeah, that that just makes sense. I I think you've done really well. Uh other than the food stuff, uh not eating, like you only once you sent me out for ice cream at like midnight, which was a fucking challenge to go and find and Archie wants chocolate ice cream. Fucking guilt. The number of times you've rubbed your bin and gone, Archie wants this, Archie wants that. But yeah, we we didn't stop anything. Like we we carried on travelling for work, you carry on doing high stress work, which touch wood, seems like you've had no problems so far. And like life definitely carried on. Like I I don't know if this is like if you don't mind me saying, you've put on a stone, like seven kilos, right? You learn what a stone is. Uh that's not a lot. You don't look okay, you do look a bit different now. But you only the last month you've been noticeably pregnant. Before you look like maybe you just had a you know some trap wind. Yeah, it's it's pretty amazing that we we haven't let pregnancy uh change our life up until now. The last couple of weeks, we definitely slowed down, but that uh you said that to me. You were like, we're gonna fucking carry on, Ben. There's nothing needs, nothing needs to change. And I was like, yeah, sure. For me, maybe, but mate, you're gonna have a reality check at some point. And the reality check just never came. Last night you could barely sit up in bed. That was that was a reality check. I was like, oh man, you're pregnant. By surrounding yourself, not deliberately, but just like by being around people who aren't pregnant and like functioning people, you've kept yourself, you've been like, I can do it, I can do it, I can do it. Rather, I if you would be if other friends of yours have been pregnant and you're just like around with them, or maybe you met other pregnant people at groups and things, you'd have got together and been like, Oh yeah, we just oh we can just sit down. Oh, it's been a tough day. But you've just seen everything as a challenge to get through. Yeah, I just love a challenge, you know. Like I told myself that pregnancy is not gonna stop me, and I didn't know you know I didn't allow it to stop me, but also I would get quite aggressive with people who would try to stop me. I think I'm the sharpest I've ever been, you know. I I think it's it's what you make of it. And uh like I said, when we when we went to Saudi Arabia, that was quite funny. Uh, when we went on that tour to the edge of the world, and then I was buzzing to get on the camel, and they were like, pregnant woman, you're not allowed to get on the camel. I was like, You don't fucking tell me what I'm allowed, not allowed. I was like, get me on a fucking camel. How do I hold on? How do I hold on to this thing? I'm not going on the floor, and and I was on that camel, like it was plus 48 degrees outside, you know, and I was like, I'm still gonna leave my life to the fullest, and that baby in me will get used to that lifestyle. Like, we I am an unstoppable woman, like I I have a very active lifestyle, and I just need to carry on for my own sanity. I've been the most confident, happiest self over the last eight months, and I think just being able to carry on the lifestyle that I wanted to carry on just is the result why my pregnancy is so positive. You haven't I don't think you've overdone it at any point. You've got to the end of the day and you've been absolutely fucked. But you there's nothing you've done that afterwards you've gone, fuck, I really shouldn't have done that. Yeah, I mean, I mean uh traveling back home in August was you know, even then I thought that that was a bit like nuts. You know, getting on a train for 22 hours, going to see my dad and and being on my own, like traveling there without you, you know. I was like, maybe this is a little bit nuts, you know, like when you need to cross the border by foot, you know, because there's no direct connection. Uh I think that was the only time when I thought maybe this is a little bit uh too far. But what do you think shifted in you like when we you realize okay, the child is actually, you know, especially probably from the first like scans when you were able to see him. I feel a bit jealous. You've got all this stuff happening. What have I got? What have you got? I don't know, like I still feel the same. I can still go and do the same things. You were reading in your books that there's like a uh what is this? Oh compassionate. Yeah, it's not called compassionate, it's something like that. Sympathetic, is it? Like sympathetic pregnancy. That yeah, men get the same symptoms. Uh on like uh uh yeah, like out of sympathy for their partner. I and when I was reading it, I was like, oh yeah, I did have that. It was things like the moodiness, I think. I was getting a bit uh I was getting short-tempered. I've been getting really short-tempered recently. Maybe that's the sympathetic thing. Maybe I'm getting sympathetic, moody bitch. I was uh I didn't have cravings, but I was eating loads of chocolate, I think, for a while. And I was I just had real like craving for sweet stuff. Yeah, I did my life did change. I thought it was all physical about you. I don't know if that was just an excuse I was making for myself to try and feel more involved. But that's what it said. It said that the reason you get it is because obviously I'm not pregnant, nothing is happening in my body. But it's okay that you feel left out, and it's okay that your body does these weird things and that kind of act a bit. It sounds like childlike, doesn't it? You imagine that's what like a five-year-old child would do, like needy or like pretend they've got problems so that they can make up for the attention being somewhere else. Yeah. But I I quite but then I think I felt more involved when I did feel shah. Oh, it feels silly to say it. When I had my cravings. When did it hit you? Like the realization, like, oh fuck, we actually haven't a baby, you know? Obviously I know when. When because when I went away over the summer, it was what four weeks between me leaving and seeing you, and you'd gone from having like slightly you were still wearing your same like clothes, like slim fit jeans, and then when you arrived it was like there's a pregnant lady with my wife's head on, and like you were you looked like nothing about like anything ever than any part of your body other than you had a pregnancy bump, and that was when I was like, oh shit. I felt a bit like I'd met a new person. I felt a bit like awkward around you. And this is when you could start feeling the kicks as well. Like this is where the first kick started kicking. Yeah. Archie's first kick that you said you hadn't felt anything, and we were laying there. I was like, I was just talking to the bump, talking to Archie. And and then he kicked, and I felt I looked at you, I was like, I was like you. You said and that that was an amazing moment to feel together. That was so lucky that I had my hand on your tummy when that happened. Just seeing you as a different person physically, because you haven't changed. I I don't notice that you've changed emotionally, you're still crazy, you're still doing all these things that you always have done. So for me, yeah, seeing you having less space in the bed less and less every week, and like noticing that change. Do you feel more like do you have any fears or do you have any like do you feel like you have more pressure on yourself now? Like, because the bump is growing and the you know the clock is sticking, like it's not not far. I can't work out what I have pressure of because there's definitely something in me. Recently I've been I've been really struggling with like fitting everything in my day because I set myself up, it's too many things to do, and I know there's not enough time in the day to hit everything. I'm still I'm desperately trying to stay on top of my fitness because I have this. Even though we agreed that you know if fitness is something that's important to me, I can have time to go and do that by myself. I I think as soon as Archie arrives, you're gonna be like, do not fucking leave. No dad bot, please. Yeah, no dad bot. Um, and then like money-wise, I think I always have like worries about money, like how long is this money gonna last? But now I'm like, fuck, you're out of the business, so I've got to provide your income and my income and do your responsibilities at work because you're not here, and then I think fuck there's a third person coming in. Like, we don't put that much away every month for savings. I don't think we save enough every month that that's the same as what Archie's gonna cost. I think he's gonna be more expensive. The I I don't I'm worried about the house. I I don't think the house is ready for him. We're trying to sell the house, so I'm scared to buy anything because people come around and the house looks cluttered. So I've got all these things that I want to buy, and they're just sitting in eBay in like a in a basket, or they're sitting in Amazon in a basket, or on a wish list somewhere. So I've got a lot I've got, I feel like I've got my fingers in a lot of pies right now. So that's that's me changed, I guess. Yeah, I thought there is a lot that's changed about me. I didn't think about it. I'm like, no, I'm just chilling, going on with my life. Yeah, it's no wonder I get a bit angry with a dog for pulling the lead. Got a lot going on. And how how do you prepare for like a m maternity, paternity leave at work? Do you feel like you started delegating more, or what you do at work has changed since you know that you will not have all the time in the in the world sitting in that office? Like because you're not the most efficient, efficient, yeah, punctual, and very good at time management, you know? I think I wanna be now is the change. I I you said to me that Ben, you need to do work out how to manage your time better because this is not gonna work when the baby's here. And I've a friend of mine said to me that he his baby is a few months old now. He said, as soon as the baby arrived, it was suddenly like a light bulb moment. I'm so efficient with time. I I know exactly how long everything takes. The things that are not that important, you don't do them anymore. Like that is no longer a place where time gets wasted. So I'm I'm hoping that's gonna kick in when just naturally naturally. But I have been preparing, like I'm trying to prepare for further in advance. I'm trying to do work now that'll help me in three, four months' time, which is tough for someone who usually plans like a week at a time or a day. I don't even plan what what I'm doing tomorrow. But I'm I'm being I'm trying to make my free time for next year because I know it's gonna be I'm not gonna wanna mess around sitting at the office until 10 pm when there's a little baby to play with at home. Parents have this fear of missing out because babies grow so fast and the development, especially in the first stage, is so dramatic that like every day there is something happening and you really don't want to miss out on this. But luckily with this baby, like he he is coming to this world like on good timing that December is a very normally December is a very quiet time for our business. But this year we have a big project in Melbourne happening in December. But also, uh, I can't see how life is gonna change. I like I I I'm sure it will, I know it will, but I can't see it. I I don't I don't understand how a baby will fit into this. If I look at the last few days, I've had no spare time. I love to sit on the toilet and scroll Instagram while I'm having a poo. Who doesn't love that? I don't even have time for that now. I I sit on the toilet and I'm there for two minutes and you're like, man, nah, like something's ready, or like that where does a baby fit into that? There's so God, the NCT class on Sunday, like all the things that you have to like that a baby's gonna need in those early weeks. I was like, I remember sitting there, my mouth was open, I think that for five hours. Of that NCT class. But I just can't see. I cannot understand how my life now fits into that. I think there will be less of faffing rounds, you know? I don't faff that much. Oh, you faff. That's your fucking favourite activity. But also there's a lot of delegation. Where? What do I do that nothing I do that I think is unimportant? But there's also certain things that we know we will need to delegate and we'll need to compromise on, you know? The last 48 hours, like I've had two nights of six, five hours sleep. It's a prep, but I'm fucked. But look at me now. I'm broken. I I can if it wasn't for the makeup, this is bags. I I how how? That baby could pop out of you in what is it, the next three weeks? He could? Yeah. But it's crazy to think as well, like, oh, we might be having a baby in three weeks or in eight weeks, and I I cannot I imagine carrying this for another eight weeks, you know? Like I can barely manage preparing. Yeah, I can barely can I I can barely figure out what to wear for those podcasts that we are filming every week because I ran out of all the nice clothes that fit me, you know, and I'm all I have left is leggings and a couple of hoodies. Like I I'm really struggling now. Episode dress up, yeah. Kate is coming in naked, dressing gown. But it's getting it's getting more tiring physically for me as well, you know. How what do you think a standard day will be with a baby? I think the day, like the from midnight to midnight. Okay, before I get out of bed and commit to my day, I reckon I'm gonna be up three or four times. At the start. So they say what? Oh no, it's too many times. They say ten to twelve times a day. You change your changing nappy. I I'm guessing the baby doesn't really follow the clock, so that's that's gonna be from midnight to midnight once an hour. And if it's your baby, you're definitely not gonna follow the clock if you're gonna have the same time on a drive. It'll all happen at the end of the day, you'd be late. So a couple of times between midnight and getting out of bed, as in uh just like zombie and round. Oh no, that'll be you, like the breast. And then I'll get up and do the nappy. I think that's fine. If you feed, you fill it up, I'll empty him out. Um so I reckon a couple of nappy changes. I reckon eventually just being like, fuck this, there's no point staying in bed, I'm not sleeping because everyone's either feeding or shitting. I think in the first couple of weeks, you're depends how things go. Like at least first week, I reckon I'm nursing you a bit as well. A bit a lot, I guess. I think that will gradually get there. So I think it's important to mention that our current plan is that we are actually staying at home for like four to six weeks. Like we like continue working from home to the extent that it's possible, but the plan is that we are just like nesting at home, like so. I reckon my morning is gonna be pure fun. I think like breakfast, playing with baby, having a laugh with you. I'm hoping you're still gonna be in the mood for laughing, as long as you don't have a vaginus, because I don't think you'll be laughing about that. Oh god. Nursing your vaginus, maybe, could be part of my morning routine as well. Uh I'm just trying to figure out what that what that means, but okay. When your vagina splits into an eight. Oh no, no, what nursing the vaginus yeah, implies. God knows. I imagine there's cream to put on that though. It's fantastic vaginus cream. Oh, I'd be all scabby and full of shit. So Ben has been traumatized by a couple of videos on on social media recently. Yeah, yeah. I I've stopped watching those. You can try to do certain bits and pieces, like with a baby attached to you, you know. You still need to walk the dog, you know, and do some house chores. But playtime. I I don't know how much playtime you can have with a one-week-old baby, Ben. He can't hold his hand, like he will be looking at you and probably not showing any emotions because they don't even smile until much later in life. Can they see? Yes. And he can see now. Like if you if you flash a torch, if you flash a torch, like you'll be like, oh no. Yeah, but like see, like, oh, that is a human. I see the shape. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think but this is the beauty, like, December is our time to just figure this out and see how uh the baby will fit into our schedule or how our schedule needs to be amended to the baby. But I think the beauty of us working together is that we can be interchangeable to an extent, you know. Like it's not like you need to report to I'm not wearing one of those t-shirts with the nipples cut out and sticking the plastic tip through. Uh or a bottle. But I'm talking more about work, you know, because obviously our main concern is that yeah, we need to keep the baby alive, but we also need to keep our business alive, you know. And technically, both of us cannot be out of action fully, you know. But the beauty of the of the beauty of running the business together is that we can take shifts, you know, like when one is taking care of the baby, another one can take care of the business, and vice versa. We can make it work for ourselves, and we can we have a lovely pool of clients, and I'm sure we can be flexible with certain like meeting times, etc. You know. I think we should be really, really grateful to what we've managed to build at Insper Hub so we can um we can be flexible, but also I think we'll need to master delegation, you know. I think that puppy will be spending more time with a dog walker, and you will have to sacrifice your cold rainy walks on the seafront. No, me and Georgie and Archie are all gonna be walking together. No, I I think like things for me, like walking the dog every day, like and it's winter and I hate walking the dog. Really, like I pretend I love it to convince myself. But I think I w I really want to try and keep those like those fundamental things and bring Archie into that. Like we've started now every Saturday we go to a cafe and do language cafe, and it's me practicing my Russian with you. Things like that that just like make up our week or make up your day, like walking with Georgie twice. Uh those are the things that I think we or I can bring Archie into. I think we had a practice run with Georgie, you know, and for some people, getting a dock is like putting your life on pause, you know, like you need to suddenly shift so many things in your life to be able to have the doc in your life and not just leave them on their own for like eight, ten hours a day. And I think what we've done really well with Georgie, as soon as all his jabs were done, we started taking him on car trips, train trips, you know, like going around, going seeing friends in their houses, uh going to cafes and restaurants, like getting him acclimatized to the noises, you know, and different people. So he was just taking to any cafe or restaurant, and he now gets on with anything. I think if you protect a child, and but again, this is just my speculation, you know. If you just have in this sort of a greenhouse environment for him, like you're remove like no noises, it has to be really quiet, you know, no other people are coming to our house, we are not moving around, so he always sees the same four walls every day. Of course, it will stress him out when we're trying to have like breakfast out with with our mates, you know. But but you you can you can take the baby to the office. You are but I I'm I'm not delusional. You're not delusional. No, I don't I don't see how you can bring a baby into a working environment. Oh, I just I I feel like this is such a challenge that I need to really raise. You have issues now just getting your belly around like flight cases and things like on the floor, if there's equipment about. Imagine carrying a baby and be like it's trial and error, right? The reason why you think it's not possible because you haven't seen people doing this, but you haven't seen people doing this, you know. We don't have here like if you saw many businesses in here with that are run by women with babies, maybe we would have surrounded ourselves with different experiences and thus we would think differently about this. Just because the majority of the- If I saw pigs flying regularly, I'd also think that that was possible. Exactly, okay. But I think because we haven't seen it, that's why it's hard to believe it. And I think like with anything else in our life, and this is our Blake's way, you're gonna be the change you want to see in the world. Exactly, Ben. We're gonna challenge the status quo, and I'm gonna be on the front line doing this. Okay, yeah, we always stay. So, in the next episode, we will talk about travel. So, we've been lucky to travel the world with Ben for work or for pleasure, and we want to continue this lifestyle, and there will be probably more speculation on how we are planning to feed the baby into those plants because next year is actually already looking pretty impact. Uh, so yeah, maybe we need to have like a guest or someone who will shine the light on what it's actually like to travel with a baby. And guys, this is the first time we are doing something like this with Ben. So I hope we are getting better and better from one episode to another. So please hit the subscribe button, support us, like, share. Um some constructive feedback is allowed. Uh negative, no, really, no, we don't really need that. If you have anything positive to say, please share that as well. And if you have any questions for us, uh that will be handy as well because we are actually getting it's getting more trickier for us to figure out what to speak uh about uh on our next episode. So maybe it can be driven by you and your interest in us and uh your comments. So please share love and support.