Clavicular's Got Some Competition

In this episode of 87.9, Glenn learns from Pootuartitty (pronounced pituitary) on how to unlock max-looks maxxing. For anyone out there trying to maximize their looks, this is an episode you cannot miss. 

We dive into: 
- How to keep your skin moist, even if you don't drink water.
- Tasty tips for creating a sexy jaw line. 
- Walking around with scream face to keep your skin looking extra tight.

Produced by Propellant Films
Starring: MJ Mattheson as Glenn Sheen and Joey Hamburger as Pootuartitty.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

It gets shocked face, you kind of just look surprised all the time. Um, and you want to put your hands up like this. Um so if you're a kid, uh best time to do this is walk around the hallways at your school, big face, big eyes, lots of hand. Um just walk through the hallways like that. And you think people aren't gonna pick on those kids? No, they'll understand that they're building their facial structure. I mean, I in an ideal world, everybody's trying this and developing this method, so the whole hallway is kids. Just a hallway of children just Yeah, exactly. Just walking around scream face.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Welcome back. It's 87.9 K Who Radio. It's the voice of Glenn Sheen. That's a me. It's a me, a Glenn Sheen. And uh in the studio with me, uh uh joining me with uh headphones on in a moment is our friend Pituitary. That is your moniker and your name and your um um your presence online. Uh uh go ahead and uh say hello to the the guests or to the um the the people or the um the listeners. Where are they? Uh they're uh they're listening on the radio. Oh. Uh or they might watch online later.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Oh, like in that they're in the car right now?

SPEAKER_02 1:19

They could they could be in a car. Some people are in a car, some people might have it on at work.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Could you imagine listening to something in the car right now?

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Yeah, I hope they do. Uh pituitary here is an influencer. Is that the right word to use for you?

SPEAKER_01 1:33

More like uh infloweducationer.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

Okay. So uh pituitary is an influ educationer. Yeah. Uh on uh you can follow him on Instagram and uh TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Kick, you can follow my kick, Twitch. I got LinkedIn. LinkedIn as well. Doing Bumble. I got Hinge, uh, Club Penguin. I have a CIA profile. Um I have warrants out for my arrest. You can comment on those. Those are publicly available. Oh, okay. Check me on Google Images.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

You're saying if I Google image pituitary, I'm not gonna get a bunch of pictures of glands. No, you're gonna get pictures of me.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Oh, okay. But you have to spell it correctly. And how do we spell P-O-O-T-U-A-R-T-I-E.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

P-O-O-T-U-A-R. T-I-T-T-I-T-T-T-T-T-Y-E. T I T T Y. Yeah, it's like pituur titty. Yeah, putur titty. Yeah, that's it. Okay. Pituitary. Uh you are uh uh uh an uh influ educationer. Yeah uh uh what what is your primary area of education? What are you uh in uh uh learning the youths out there, if you will.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

So I I do max looks maxing. So looks maxing is you know what people do to kind of maximize their looks. Oh I'm max looks maxing, which you know is maximizing, maximizing the looks. So double max.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

So you're your your double max is like not like a like a double mac and cheese, which is what I'm usually No, yeah, definitely not a double mac and cheese. Oh, okay. So and and i if you were maybe like a man of a certain age and you didn't know what um how old are you? I wasn't talking about me.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Yeah, how old are you?

SPEAKER_02 3:13

Um enough to party.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

Yeah, so like 48. No. No. Um Well, I'm say you're giving 48.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

Oh, I am? Yeah. Oh, uh that's eight years too many, sir. I am 40.

SPEAKER_01 3:27

Man, you must not lotion. That's like the easiest thing you can do for Max Lux Maxing. I use lotion on my hands. Yeah, are you are you doing aquafloor? Floor. Aquafloor? No. Yeah, that's a thing I tell people to do. What's that? Well, yeah, so you do is you douse your entire body and aquafloor, you look like you're like just coming out of the matrix. Sure.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

So you're just like pink and there's lots of tubes coming out of you.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

Well, there's no tubes. The only tube is the high pressure hose that's shooting water right into your body. Sure. Into the body. Into the body, yeah. Kind of pins you up against the wall. That's the only thing that keeps you from sliding out the room. Uh okay. Yeah, there's a high pressure hose shooting your body into the wall, and that's the only thing that kind of keeps you from like slipping out the room. Wow. So you have a whole system to this.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

Yeah. So uh so like so. I'm just using like, you know, lotion on my hands and yeah, you're doing it wrong. I I can tell you I'm doing it wrong for sure.

SPEAKER_01 4:27

You don't have a high pressure hose involved? If you don't have a high pressure hose involved, you're doing it wrong. You have to know a firefighter, but I mean, if you're you know, if you're doing max looks maxing effective, you meet them at calendar shoots. No kidding. Yeah. So you do like calendar shoots with firefighters?

SPEAKER_02 4:43

No, they come to me to know how to pose. Wow. Can I ask you this? Uh you you have all this knowledge, obviously, but you seem like a pretty young man.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Yeah, I'm 20. I'm 21. Oh, you're 21? Yeah. Wow. But I don't drink. You don't drink? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:58

Well, you know, you can now, it's legal.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

No, I mean I don't drink anything.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

Wait, you don't mean just alcohol? You mean like No, I don't drink alcohol, I don't drink water, I don't drink juice. Okay, wait, you don't drink water? You can die without drinking water.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

Yeah, but not really.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

Wait, so is the only way you're getting water is when the hose is spraying in?

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Exactly. That's the only thing that's like keeping my skin in shape is the aqua floor. That's wow, that's it. And I get a little bit of water in that because it's hard to keep your holes closed? Yeah. There's a lot of holes. Yeah, because I'm naked the whole time, so water goes in the ears and the mouth.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

Sometimes up the butt, but like that's fine. Oh, okay. So up the butt's good. Up the butt's actually probably the only way I'm really getting water. Okay. Fair. Are you alright? I'm sorry. Um, sorry, I might I just kind of go somewhere for some. Yeah, sometimes I go in and out. That's a problem without the liquids and stuff, but it's fine. I'll I'll do an aqua floor session after this.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

Well, you can get you a glass of water.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

No, I don't I don't think I can do the way I would have to do it on camera.

SPEAKER_02 6:03

Okay, that's fair. We just talked about that. Um what was the question? Uh so is there a memory from childhood you have that that led you to maybe who you are today? Is there a moment that clicked you can look back and go, wow, this is gonna be what I'm gonna become?

SPEAKER_01 6:15

I remember being a kid and um seeing a mannequin. Okay. Yeah, and it's kinda the mannequins are kind of perfect. Um, because they actually have the perfect structure. They have no face, uh, no, you know, nothing going on down there, no nipples, uh, no hair, and sometimes no hands, no feet.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

And and that's ideally the That's like the ideal body.

SPEAKER_01 6:39

Yeah. I mean, why do you think they put clothes on mannequins for us to look at?

SPEAKER_02 6:43

Oh, I never thought about it that way. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 6:45

Because we think clothes look better on that type of physique.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

Uh physique without nipples.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah. I mean, you can't see, like, I can't see. You could have you could not have nipples for all I know. Oh, I've got I've got nipples. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

They're it's like a I mean, I would assume I would assume you do. I've been called.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you don't I assume your nipples are insanely big. Well, it's like I'm like, I assume your nipples cover most of your chest.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

No, I'm not that big. I have a pretty big chest that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

I assume your nipples look like I could do archery practice on your chest.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

Uh I would say actually that wouldn't be that inaccurate. Okay, yeah. My my ex-wife used to say, um, uh, uh-oh, the uh the antennas from the satellite are out whenever my nipples got hard. Because they go concave. My nipples go out, but the areola is deep in, like when I when a pepperoni gets curled up from cooking in a gun. Got you, so you could like put water in there?

SPEAKER_01 7:33

I could.

SPEAKER_02 7:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Yeah. That's a different way I could get water. From Oh man.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

Good lord. All right. Mm-hmm. I don't want to take that back. I don't know. Okay. So uh what are some of the things that you'd like to do? Uh maybe something you could give advice for future looks maxers out there for the for the kids listening out there, something that they might want to like try and attempt.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

I tell everybody wants to get started in max looks maxing. Uh don't start tomorrow, start right now. Um I think one of the earliest things I did to kind of build my kind of face structure because you want to get it started earlier.

SPEAKER_02 8:19

You do have very specific face structure.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

Yeah, thank you. And what I did to kind of create this, and I started really young, is I call it shock face. Um yeah, so you what to get shock face, you kind of just look surprised all the time. Um, and you want to put your hands up like this. Oh so if you're a kid, uh best time to do this is walk around the hallways at your school, big face, big eyes, lots of hand. Um just walk through the hallways like that. And you think people aren't gonna pick on those kids? No, they'll understand that they're building their facial structure. I mean, I in an ideal world, everybody's trying this and developing this method, so the whole hallway is kids. Just a hallway of children, just yeah, exactly. Just walking around scream face.

SPEAKER_02 9:03

Hey, we're gonna cut to some quick ad breaks here. Uh uh, we're in in the studio with Pituitary, uh, our our Max Looks Maxing X expert.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

Yeah, we should probably tell them how to spell it so they can get on the stream.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

Sure, yeah. While you're uh listening to the ad break, you can check out Pituitary. Uh spelled P-O-O-T-U A-R-T-I-T-T-Y. Yeah. Okay, and we got a couple minutes here for you. How are you? How you feeling?

SPEAKER_01 9:25

Uh, I mean, uh, about baseline. Okay. Well, that's good. Like, it doesn't go below, right? No, I mean I don't go down, I don't go up. I'm just like baseline. Yeah. Is that like a medical thing? Maybe?

SPEAKER_02 9:37

Have you ever been diagnosed with anything?

SPEAKER_01 9:39

No, I mean, I don't go to the doctor. You've never well, you just like no, what's a doctor gonna tell me that like I can't already find out? I mean, all information is out there.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

I mean, I I thought kind of the same way. Then I was recently diagnosed with ASMR.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

And so I didn't know I had that. And now I hear stuff and I feel certain ways and I know what that means. Maybe that's like helpful.

SPEAKER_01 10:01

I mean, I was a kid, a doctor told me I was colorblind, but it's like this is green, that's blue. I mean, I still see I see anything, right? I hear extremely pale white. That's your color.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

Yeah, I'd say like just regular old, you know, you look like a clean toilet. That's um, it's better than a dirty one, right? If you're talking about it. I don't know, my toilets are all black. You exclusively buy black toilets? No, I buy them white. Uh oh. Oh, okay. Oh, and hey, we're coming back. All right, just careful for your ears. Okay, thank you. K Who radio 87.9. That was an ad from the City Council of Hopkins. Hopkins, you can see Minneapolis from here. Hopkins, is that like a disease? Oh, um, it's a city, but also I think you're thinking of Lou Lou Hopkins' disease.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

I think I heard about a guy who had Hopkins.

SPEAKER_02 10:51

It's uh that could be. Uh oh, could I heard about a guy who had Perkins? Uh that was me. I eat a lot of Perkins, 24 hours. I'm a tremendous 12 fan.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

Oh man, I'd hate to be a guy named Lou and Hopkins. Yeah, poor guy. Yeah, but at least you can see the city, as you said.

SPEAKER_02 11:05

You get you they say you can, and I believe them. Also, a lot of antique stores there. Do you like to go to antique stores?

SPEAKER_01 11:12

No, I like new things.

SPEAKER_02 11:14

I knew the answer, but I had to ask it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

What am I gonna find at an antique store that I can't find at a C B2?

SPEAKER_02 11:20

Oh, I I think you actually probably can't find anything from a C B2 at an antique store.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

I actually don't even go to C B2. I don't know why I mentioned that. I go to West Elm.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

West Elm?

SPEAKER_01 11:29

Yeah, which is also a disease.

SPEAKER_02 11:31

West Elm's disease?

SPEAKER_01 11:32

Yeah. What's that disease? I don't know. It's something a mosquito gives you.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

Oh, those guys. You mean the state bird? That was a that was a joke. Oh, is that how you laugh?

SPEAKER_01 11:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:43

Oh, I'm so glad I finally made you laugh in all of this.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

You can't laugh too hard because it kind of I don't know, depletes what you built up from looks maxing, max, looksing, maxing.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

Oh, so laughing like releases the looks max?

SPEAKER_01 11:54

Yeah, the max looks max.

SPEAKER_02 11:55

Well, I'm gonna have to stop watching Big Bang Theory then because I'm losing all my looks maxing every night. Oh, that wasn't a joke.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

Oh, and then I'll take back my laugh.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

Oh, you can just do that?

SPEAKER_01 12:08

Yeah. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

Um, any advice uh out there uh for um uh um someone maybe who's uh resurfacing. I'm trying to find ways to attract other people to you know me. And uh I'm wondering if maybe um you got some tips on that. Like, you know, how how to how to boost your confidence or how to get yourself back out there.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

Well, first thing to boost your confidence I'd say is uh I mean there's just simple things you could change your shirt. Oh, I like I I oh okay. I like this shirt. I mean you look like you're trying to be the curtains in my grandmother's kitchen. Okay, if you want to keep that pattern, cut the sleeves off. Cut the sleeves off. Yeah, cut the sleep.

SPEAKER_02 12:45

Starting like here, you think no, start higher. Up there? Yeah, start higher. But do you shouldn't I work out then? Because my arms just kind of like just happen.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

Well, I mean you'll definitely work out when people see your arms. Oh, so make yourself insecure enough to change your body for others to appreciate. If you go out with our your arms, and I'm guessing the color they are, you you'll see a lot of people squinting. Is that is that your skin or is that a shirt? Oh, this? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:06

Oh, it's a shirt. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

Does it look the exact same as my Yeah, I can't see where it ends and you start.

SPEAKER_02 13:12

Huh.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

Well, no, you would know because I have a lot of chest hair. And by chest hair I mean, so shave that off back hair and oh, shave it off.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Shave that off.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

Willie?

SPEAKER_01 13:20

Really? All of it? Yeah. Okay. You can't start an aqua floor if you have hair hair, it will end up keeping you stuck to the floor, and the whole idea is to have you slide around a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 13:28

Wow. I just, you know, I didn't know how many things I was doing wrong.

SPEAKER_01 13:32

Yeah, it's a lot.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

It's a lot, it's very much a lot.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

Another thing I like to do is um I chew on um, you know, like milk duds and like juju fruits.

SPEAKER_02 13:43

Love the milk, milk duds and juju fruits.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

Okay, so I don't swallow them because obviously, but um I do try to chew on those types of things pretty much six hours a day.

SPEAKER_02 13:54

Six hours a day. You're you're what's your budget on milk duds and jujubee's?

SPEAKER_01 13:58

I mean, it's astronomical if I were to think about it, but I try not to think about those things.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

Could you not get sponsored maybe by milk duds and jujubee?

SPEAKER_01 14:06

I mean, what would that look to like to the people if I was sponsored by milk duds and jujufruits? I spit them out. I spit them out. I don't swallow.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

Well, that's probably why they won't. Yeah. Yeah, because I won't. Yeah, sponsors want you to swallow.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

Yeah, sponsors don't like you to spit, they like you to swallow.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And that tracks. Uh it's been a pleasure to have you in the studio today. I just have a um uh well actually you just have a couple uh Hey, you know what, Glenn?

SPEAKER_01 14:25

This has been fun. Um I I don't know, I feel like I'm about to fall asleep, and I don't do that. So um I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go get a session. Sure. Gonna get aquafloid? Yeah, I mean, I could do that. I mean, okay, you got another question? Because otherwise I'm not Aquaflorid. What's your favorite kind of muffin? I actually refuse to answer that question.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

But maybe better raisin. A raisin? A raisin. Just uh anyway. But that's I don't I mean that's just a birthday muffin, so Okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

Okay. Uh beach or mountains?

SPEAKER_01 15:01

Neither.

SPEAKER_02 15:02

Neither. No.

SPEAKER_01 15:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

What would you prefer instead of a beach or a mountain?

SPEAKER_01 15:06

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

Uh nice room.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

Oh okay.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

Uh what's one thing you'd like to say to future generations out there? All the all the babies that are coming up, and maybe the babies haven't been born yet. Maybe the the babies who haven't been made yet.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Um babies who haven't been made yet, choose your parents wisely. Um, you know, because you're kind of getting their genes, so yeah, I don't know, pick your parents, right? Um babies that are already born, um, I'd say um also choose your parents wisely. Um, because if you're a baby that's already born, you look at your parents and you're like, I, you know, you guys don't look that great. You can go choose other parents if you want. And then babies that are maybe like five years old, um, well, you're stuck. Uh so that way I'd say maybe, I don't know, stretch.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

Okay, you heard it here first, folks. Uh, for all the babies uh uh that are there and the babies who haven't made it to Earth yet. Uh when you get here, you'll have to check out pituitary.gov uh and to find all of this uh fantastic uh influ educator uh and uh max looks maxing uh man who's in the studio today. Uh I really appreciate your time. Thank you for being here. Uh and K Who Heads, stick around and listen up because we have a solid rock block coming up of Train. That's right. Train, it's a thing and a band. We'll be checking back in just a little bit. I oh I'm so sorry. I forgot about that. Yeah, uh that's okay. I'm so sorry about the sound effect.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

That's fine. I'll be thinking of DJs the rest of the day. Doesn't that doesn't sound so bad. I mean, if you're a DJ. Fair