She Helped the Kardashians Get Through

In this episode of 87.9, we're joined in the studio by Michelle Johnson, a divorce mediator for celebrity children! Glenn chats with Michelle about why kids of divorce are actually happier than kids from happily married families, and why she loves working with famous families like the Kardashians. Tune in for a special sneak peak of her book coming out that will help kids going through divorce understand that life is actually going to be better for them now. 

Starring MJ Mattheson as Glenn Sheen and Khadijah Cooper as Michelle Johnson
Produced by Propellant Films

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Kids are way happier when you're divorced.

SPEAKER_01 0:02

So tell so you yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 0:04

I just say if you're in a relationship, a marriage, or anything, especially if you have kids, get divorced.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

It's KW Radio 87.9. Welcome to the studio, Michelle Johnson. Hi, Michelle.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Hi. How are you? I'm good. I'm so happy to be here.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

I'm so happy to have you here. Now, uh, it says here that you are a divorce mediator for kids.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

That is correct. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Wow. Okay. That's um that that sounds like a lot. That's a lot to unpack there.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Yeah, it was, it's really like necessary, and I can't believe that I am actually the first one to ever like craft this. You're kidding me. No, I'm not kidding. I am the first one. Um, and then there's been a couple people coming after me, but they don't really do it well.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

So well, you're the trailblazer.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Yeah, so their LLCs have LL gone away.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

Okay, L O. Goodbye.

SPEAKER_02 1:00

You know, when I got this email to be on this show, I thought it was a spam, to be honest. Oh, for real. A little bit. Okay. Yeah, and then I Googled you and was like, okay, he's a real.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

This is a real this is. You can look up our website. We are a real radio station.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

So that is that was really pleasant news, uh, because I didn't want that to happen to me again. Um, you know, breaking out, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Whoa, Michelle, you've been tricked before?

SPEAKER_02 1:22

Yeah, so it did happen to me before a couple times.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Like a fake radio station?

SPEAKER_02 1:27

It wasn't a it was like a podcast. Um, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Like, I'm not uh like a lot on social media, sure, but I'm for sure like this person was a joke. It was uh what was his name? Joe Rogan, I think. I don't know. Like it just sounded never heard of it. It just sounded too fake. It was like you don't exist.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Okay, and what what what is the age range uh of kids uh that you kind of work with?

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Yeah, it can really be any age, um, but mostly like toddlers and middle schoolers. Uh the high schoolers, uh, they're you know, they're they're tougher when you're trying to divide their stuff. But um I work with high schoolers a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

So you're saying divide their stuff, like with these are the parents getting divorced.

SPEAKER_02 2:14

Yes, that's correct.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

But they have to take the kids' stuff and split it?

SPEAKER_02 2:18

Yeah, because you know, like when parents get divorced, they have two homes. And so it's always like a loss forgotten. Like, like what are we gonna do with the iPad? Who gets the dollhouse? Nobody's talking about that. We really need to talk about that. In my line of work, I've really found a theme. The men usually get the electronics.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Interesting.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, weekend dads, you know what I mean? Sure. Yeah, like McDonald's, tater tot dads.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

Okay. I didn't know McDonald's made tater tots.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

Well, they don't.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

I was just saying, like you mean like McDonald's dads, tater tot dads. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Tater tot chicken nugget dads.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Do you think it's because um uh men uh uh we tend to be a little you know more uh irresponsible? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

Uh correct.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

Yeah, and it's easier to just give a kid an iPad than being like, yeah, I'm gonna play this fantasy world with you.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Yeah, but um actually like I like to think about the kids. Like it's easier for the kids not to have to listen to their fathers. So it's really I'm really advocating for the children. And moms are just better at talking, so I really advocate for more like play toys, like doll houses and trucks and things that can be more involved. Also, you know, like we just want to make sure that like moms are the best.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Yeah, you know, yeah, moms are the best, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

But I'm really advocating for the children.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

Can I ask you this? Is there something uh maybe a time or a memory that you have uh in your life uh that that led you to this?

SPEAKER_02 3:41

Like maybe in your in your own childhood or yeah, it's really funny because people assume that I am from divorced parents.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

But actually, my parents have been in love and married my whole life.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Oh my gosh, that's amazing. Well, congratulations.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

It's not when you see your friends get like two birthday parties, two Christmases, two Easters baskets. They get so much stuff, and like I was just like in a house with parents that love me and were together all the time, and I just didn't think that was really fair.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

Huh. Sorry, so you're saying you would rather your your loving connected parents would have divorced, so you could have had two birthdays, two Christmases, too.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

Well, I'm not I'm not saying I like blew out a candle for it.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

Um a few times I did.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

I don't want to lie to you, then you know, and a lying's all part of it too.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

I just felt like the people who were get able to go back and forth, they were able to do more sports because they had friends at the different parents' house, they had different activities, and they're really able to branch out their wings. And I just had the same friends on the same block. So I was like, when people, when kids get divorced, they deserve to be at the center, and they're not until I came along. And then when I came along, people were like, We don't care about those kids. And I was like, I do, I care, and so I became an advocate. And the more I started doing this, the more I started to be able to work with more, you know, wealthier families because wealthy people get divorced and married and divorced and married and have more kids and divorce and married. So I've been able to work with some really cool, well, maybe not cool, but popular people. Oh, and really advocate for their kids.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

And that's to be like a name dropper here, but pop popular how? Like uh Well, I can't.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

There's been NDAs, but I will say uh a name rhymes with the Smar Smash Fedens. They have a lot of kids.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Did smart smart smarts mash feedings?

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Yeah, and they have a lot of kids and a lot of divorced.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

Someone might say it sounds something similar to like smeeping up with the smart smash medans.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Maybe. Maybe they're on a network called that rhymes with Poulu.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

No way. Did it used to air on P?

SPEAKER_02 5:47

Maybe.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

It sounded wrong.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

Yeah, and um, like really when they found out about my services, they brought me right in. They put me on the list with their healers, their team makers, their their grass clippers. So I'm on their I'm on their list of servant, serv um support team.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

Servant, so supports support team. So do you think that something about your childhood upbringing where you had a very you know solid and secure, you know, family house again, you're like it's not that great.

SPEAKER_02 6:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

Um, you want to give that sense of security to these kids who are maybe now being pulled in different directions?

SPEAKER_02 6:19

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

I mean, because it's also kind of coming from a place where you want coming some of the stuff they have because I don't need it as much.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

You know, I I would say, you know, this is like two things can be true at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

Amen to that.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

I think it is a little bit about making sure the kids are their stuff is divided, but it's not only their stuff, it's their time. Where is their time divided? It's who's gonna who do they call when, you know, Susie gets her period? It's like all of these things. It's you have to advocate for who do they call? They're nannies.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

Not their mothers.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

And I also think the parents, you know, appreciate this process because then they don't have to, they don't, they can worry about other stuff.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Like finding someone else to marry in divorce.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

And that just keeps the whole ball rolling. Well, can I ask you if you don't mind getting too personal?

SPEAKER_02 7:08

Let's get personal. Amen.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

Uh Michelle, are you married?

SPEAKER_02 7:12

Um, I am not.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

You're not? Okay. Had have you been and been divorced?

SPEAKER_02 7:16

Or no, um, divorced, I wish, but no, I haven't.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

Oh, you're holding out for that divorce.

SPEAKER_02 7:21

I'm holding out for the divorce. I hear you.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Yeah, I uh I got one up on you there. I heard.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

Do you have kids? Did are they feeling? Do you know?

SPEAKER_01 7:29

No, um, no. Uh, and we didn't have a lot of stuff to divide anyway, you know.

SPEAKER_02 7:33

So why why didn't you have kids?

SPEAKER_01 7:35

You know, I've been a career man. Okay. You know, this station is my baby.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

Oh interesting. Because I work with very successful people who work a lot and really care about their work and they have kids all the time. And, you know, because they want to have their legacy or they want to have someone to continue nepotism or whatever, you know. So it's really weird that you say that because it actually hasn't been my lived experience at all. People who work really hard still are able to have kids and do have kids. That's that's weird. Huh? Glenn?

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Oh, I thought it was um kind of like cool or brilliant.

SPEAKER_02 8:12

I don't think it is.

SPEAKER_01 8:14

Cool. Hey, Michelle, uh, I I I I noticed as well, uh, you mentioned uh in your first email to us today uh that you are also working on something coming up uh that you seem pretty excited about. Yeah. Uh and I would love uh for you to tell us a bit about uh what it is. Kind of is it cool if you do a big reveal here?

SPEAKER_02 8:31

And oh what I am here to promote is my new children's book.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

I let it slip over. Yeah, you know, that's okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you have a children's book.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

I do. I have a children's book coming out. The book is called My Parents Are Splitting and I Get Two Birthdays exclamation point.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Oh wow, and it's like putting a positive spin on the moment. Yes, my parents are splitting and I'm getting two birthdays.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

Yeah, because like that's beautiful. A lot of the times, you know, when I enter into the family dynamic when divorce is happening, and you know, they just had the nanny tell the kids, and you know, the kids are really distraught. So I get to just come in and be like, hey, I'm your friend Michelle, and they're like, Who are you? And I'm like, I get to talk about your stuff and your feelings if you want, but your stuff and how you want to divide it up between your six homes or whatever, you know? Sure. So yeah, and then they're like, awesome. They're like, they never like their parents in the same house anyway. Not that it happened a lot, but sure. Because when the kids are like, Oh, my parents, my house is burning up. I'm like, but think about your high school graduation. You're getting two Benz as kid.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

Two b two bens. You're you're you're with families, they're getting they're just handing up, they're handing out they're handing out lots of stuff. We're gonna cut to an ad break. So, uh Michelle, if you mind sticking around, yeah, you want to hear so much more about this book and so many other things about your lovely career. Uh stay tuned here. K who heads, listen to these ads, or else. Awesome, or off air for a moment. How are you feeling?

SPEAKER_02 9:56

Oh, good, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're doing great. Am I okay? I'm so nervous. No, you seem like a pro.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

And this is kicking off a tour.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you just know other dates. Well, there's no, like, there's no like official date. I'm just gonna I'm just gonna try stuff.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

That's okay. That's that's you you gotta you gotta do that. Try stuff out. That's wild. How many like families do you work for? I guess uh once the family splits, I guess that's two per family.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

When I get referred to, or when these clients get referred to me and they split, I really try to, you know, like, how can I continue to help your children? Like, are you? You know, like every time they're buying stuff, it's like send me the Christmas list, I'll help you divide it up between the homes.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

Oh, so even like years after the divorce.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

I mean, I really try to I yeah, I really try to show them that I'm a benefit to them. You know, we're coming back. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

That's right, K Who Heads. Thanks for sticking around. That was an ad for Mrs. Pittner's Pies. Pie not try a slice. Michelle Johnson.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

Divorce mediator for kids. You have a book coming out soon. I do. And that is called My Parents Are Getting Divorced, and Now I Get Two Birthdays.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

Putting a positive spin on what some people call a tragic thing.

SPEAKER_02 11:04

Yeah, people throw out the word trauma a lot with divorce. And I'm like, I'm like, why? Turn reframe that. Reframe it, you know. I love that. And make it, and make it, and make it into a positive. Yes, your parents are splitting up, and yes, you may have internal feelings and and think it's your fault, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that you they have a voice, and that's really what this book is about. It starts off with, you know, a really sad, sad kid. Like my parents are splitting up. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

Yeah, is this their main character to this then?

SPEAKER_02 11:38

Is that that that's yeah, it's kinda it's actually me.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

No way.

SPEAKER_02 11:41

Yeah, it's me, but um, I'm kind of like a little cute bird. Like a yeah, yeah. Oh, what kind of bird? It's like a blue bird mixed with a raven, so it's like a blue raven.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

A blue raven? Okay, that sounds awesome. Sounds like a Marvel character.

SPEAKER_02 11:56

Yeah, it's not. It's blue raven. The blue raven talks to the kid who's crying. It's like, hey, don't be sad. Your parents are splitting up. Yeah. Look at what I got. Yeah. It takes a kid on his back, flies to the one nest, worms. Beautiful. Delicious. All of it. All the things.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

I had worms once. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 12:17

Uh in your mouth?

SPEAKER_01 12:19

No. Um like a dog? Uh yeah, uh literally like a dog. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

Um, did you go to the doctor?

SPEAKER_01 12:28

I didn't need to. I went to the vet. So sorry, so so you're sure so the blue rays are.

SPEAKER_02 12:34

So I go to the I'm like, look at my look at my mom's nest. Yeah. There's worms. And the kid's like, that's that's great, but your dad's not here. And I said, hey, guess what? We fly across town. We fly across town. What's in that nest? A beautiful leaves, a comfy bed, nice. All of the things.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Nice studio nest.

SPEAKER_02 12:53

Yeah, a little studio nest.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

The view of downtown. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

You know, obviously.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

Dad sounds like he's trying to reclaim some part of himself, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:01

The whole apartment building's a little sad, or the trees like a little sad, you know.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Yeah, it's all overhead lighting.

SPEAKER_02 13:06

All overhead lighting, but you know, like the bird, the dad bird does have a couple like dad bird buddies that he hangs out with during the week because they're all sad, you know.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

I know that life.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

And then we fly back and then poof, his new life has started.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 13:23

This book is really supporting young people through a really hard time of their life. And we can take that trauma and turn it into a triumph, you know?

SPEAKER_01 13:31

Oh, I like that. Thank you. A trauma trauma.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

Yeah. Or we could just leave it the way that I did it.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

I like the way you did it, but I don't know why I tried to add it together, but you know.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

And so I really want this book to be a catalyst for people to be like, I do want more. Like this woman has something really unique to say. No one's thinking about my children in divorce, including me. And I should listen to somebody about it.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

Okay, Michelle Johnson, we have come to the end of the interview, but I do have a few questions left for you. We have the K Who questionnaire. They're questions that are sent in by fans of the show. Now, if you had a chance to be uh telepathic where you can read and hear thoughts, or telekinetic, where you can lift and move stuff with your mind, which would you choose and why?

SPEAKER_02 14:11

I would lift stuff with my mind.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Yeah?

SPEAKER_02 14:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:14

Cool.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Okay, why?

SPEAKER_02 14:15

These kids got some heavy stuff.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

You know, I suppose.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

That's really what I learned. Like when you buy quality stuff, it is heavy. Right. Yeah. So when I'm like helping them, I could just be like, boop, boop. Yeah. And plus, I I don't want to read their minds.

SPEAKER_01 14:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

I don't want to do that.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Yeah, no. Uh, Michelle Johnson, if you could say one bit of advice to future generations, what would it be?

SPEAKER_02 14:35

Yeah, kids are way happier when you're divorced.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

So tell so you yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:40

I just say if you're in a relationship, a marriage, or anything, especially if you have kids, get divorced. Okay. Because if you had such a great life the first time, why not start over and do it again?

SPEAKER_01 14:54

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

You know?

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Yeah, so it can always get better. Michelle Johnson, divorce mediator for kids, has the book coming out. Uh, my parents are getting divorced, so now I get two birthdays. You have taught me today that you can turn trauma into triumph. That is hers, that's trademarked, that's all hers. Uh, it's such a treat to have you in the studio today. Thank you for being here. And uh Kehu Heads, you keep listening in because up next we have a solid rock block of Sonny and Cher, another famous divorced couple. Uh uh, and um keep listening to that. Uh, the last 10 minutes will just be Cher because um that's actually uh much, I'm told, much better music. Keep listening, Kehu 87.9. Keep it locked in.