Episode 6. Holding Faith While My Heart Breaks

This episode is dedicated to every person fighting a battle with cancer right now. To the warriors who wake up every day choosing courage even when their bodies are tired and their hearts are heavy — your strength inspires more people than you will ever know.

It is also for those who fought with everything they had but are no longer with us. Your fight was not in vain. Your love, your laughter, and the memories you gave us continue to live on in the hearts of everyone who was lucky enough to know you.

This is for the caretakers and loved ones who stand beside them — the ones holding hands in hospital rooms, sitting through treatments, praying through the night, and loving through the fear. Your strength, patience, and unconditional love often go unseen, but it is one of the most powerful forms of love there is.

Most of all, this episode is dedicated to the family we lost — sweet Layla and Kelvin. Your absence left a space in our hearts that will never be filled, but your love will always remain with us.

And to our wonderful friend Kris, who is now in transition, we hold you close in our hearts. You are surrounded by love, prayers, and memories that will carry us through. Your life has touched us in ways that words cannot fully express.

This episode is for all of you — for your courage, your love, and the reminder that even in the middle of heartbreak, love never leaves us.

Transcript

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Hola hola, mi moris, mi jefas. Hello my lady bosses. My name is Janet, a proud borigwa, mother, wife, grandmother, daughter, sister, and friend. Welcome to La Jefa Unfiltered, the podcast created for women by a woman who knows your voice matters. This is a space for real conversations, unfiltered truth, and growth without apologies. A space where women are empowered, inspired, and reminded that they are seen, heard, and masking enough exactly as they are. Here we talk confidence, purpose, self-love, balance, and the courage it takes to step fully into your power. We celebrate strength, softness, resilience, authenticity, and the beauty of becoming. No mask, no perfection, just real life, honest conversations, and empowerment. So take a breath, take space, and walk boldly. Because La Hefa isn't just a title, it's who you are. Let's get on filter. We speak from our hearts, and where we talk about the things that many of us carry in silence. Today's episode is a heavy one. As you all know, March is women's month. And as I record this episode today, March 8th, it's actually Woman's Day. It's a time we celebrate women, our strength, our resilience, and our power. We see all the posts about strong women, boss women, hefas, women supporting women, and yes, all that is beautiful. But today I want to talk about something that doesn't get celebrated. The part of being a woman where your heart hurts. And you still have to keep going. Because behind every strong woman is a story most people never hear. Today I'm sharing mine. Last year was messy. Not messy in a way where things just didn't go my way. But messy in a way where life just kept hitting me over and over again. Cancer took center stage in my life and in my family's life. And when cancer shows up, it doesn't just attack one person, it attacks everyone who loves them. Last year, we lost my great niece. She was only two years old. A baby who barely got the chance to experience life, taken by brain cancer. Try wrapping your mind around that. Try understanding how something so cruel can touch someone so innocent. And as if that wasn't enough, we also love my cousin to colon cancer. Watching people you love fade away piece by piece is something that stays with you. It changes you, it leaves marks on your heart that never fully heals. And after going through all that, I told my wife with so much hope in my voice, I promised her that this year would be better. And when I said it, I believed it. But sometimes life reminds you that you're not in control. Not long ago, my wife's childhood friend was diagnosed with brain cancer. And the thing about this situation that makes it even harder to process is how fast it happened. One month ago, the cancer wasn't even something we were talking about. It was nowhere to be found. And today, it's taken over my friend's body. One month, just like that, life changed. And when you see something move that fast, it shakes you. It makes you realize how fragile life really is. One day, someone is laughing with you, making plans, living their life, and the next day they're fighting for it. As Latinas, many of us grew up hearing the same thing. Confia entire, trust God. Dios sabe lo que hace. God knows what he's doing. And I want to be clear about something. I do believe in God. I do have faith. But faith doesn't mean you never question things. Faith doesn't mean you never feel angry or confused or broken. Because trust me, sometimes your faith hurts. Sometimes your heart is hurting so much that the words God has a plan don't bring comfort at the moment. Sometimes those words just leave you asking one single question. Why? Why a two-year-old baby? Why families who already carry so much? Why does cancer keep showing up in places where love is so strong? And if we're being honest, many of us ask these questions quietly. Because culturally, we've been taught that questioning God means your faith is weak. But I don't believe that. I think questioning comes from loving deeply. When you love deeply, loss heart, there's this image people have as of strong women, especially women who call themselves heifas and lady bosses. They think strength means you have everything together. They think strength means you don't cry. They think strength means you always have the answer. But let me tell you something. Strong women cry, strong women question, strong women have moments where they feel completely broken inside. Strength isn't pretending everything is okay. That makes of grief, anger, love, fear, and hope all at the same time. It's exhausting. But what I do know is even when my heart breaks, even when my faith feels bruised, even when my trust feels a little shaky, I still believe that love is stronger than the pain cancer leaves behind. Because the love those people gave us, the memories, the laughters, the moments we share, cancer can't take that. To the women, to the heifers, to the bosses listening today, strength is waking up every day with a heavy heart and still choosing to love the people around you. Strength is holding on to your faith even when your trust is shaken. Strength is admitting that you don't understand what God is doing, but you're still here, still standing, still loving, still praying. Right now, I don't have the answers. I don't understand why cancer keeps touching my family and the people around me. I don't understand why people get more time and others barely get any. And if you're someone listening who has lost someone to cancer or who is watching someone you love fight right now, you'll probably understand these feelings, especially the ones who are carrying grief quietly. I want you to know something. You are allowed to feel everything, you are allowed to cry, you are allowed to ask God questions, you are allowed to feel broken some days. None of that makes you weak. And even in your brokenness, you are still powerful, you are still a heifer, a lady boss. Today's episode wasn't about having answers. Today's episode was about honesty because sometimes faith isn't about understanding everything. Sometimes faith is just about holding on, even when your heart feels like it's breaking. Thank you for listening. Thank you for sitting with me in this conversation. This is La Hefa Unfiltered, and I'll see you on the next episode. This episode is dedicated to everyone fighting a battle with cancer right now, to the warriors who wake up every day choosing courage even when their bodies are tired and their hearts are heavy. Your strength inspires more people than you will ever know. It is also for those who fought with everything they had but are no longer with us. Your fight was not in vain. Your love, your laughter, and the memories you gave us continue to live in the hearts of everyone who was lucky enough to know you. This is for the caretakers and loved ones who stand beside them, the ones holding hands in hospital rooms, sitting through therapy, praying through the night, and loving through their fears. Your strength, patience and unconditional love often goes unseen. But it's one of those powerful forms of love there is. Most of all, this episode is dedicated to the family we lost. My sweet Layla, my Kelvin, your absence left a peace in our hearts that will never be felt. But your love will always remain in us and to our wonderful friend Chris, who is now in transition. We hold you close in our hearts. You are surrounded by love, prayers, and memories that will carry us through. Your life has touched us in ways that words cannot fully express. This episode is for all of you. For your courage, your love, and the reminder that even in the middle of heartbreak, love never leaves us.