Survival Isn’t Living: Breathwork, Burnout & Learning To Feel Again with Kristene Wilde

So many people are functioning, but not truly living.

In this powerful episode of The Dragonfly Perspective, Paula sits down with Kristene Wilde from WalkTall Healing & Wellness to explore what happens when stress, trauma, grief and emotional suppression keep people trapped in survival mode for years.

Together they unpack the conditioning that teaches people to disconnect from their bodies, ignore their intuition and keep pushing through - even when their nervous system is screaming for rest.

This conversation dives into breathwork, emotional healing, burnout, self-trust, anxiety, overwhelm and why true healing is far deeper than the wellness trends we see online.

If you’ve ever felt exhausted from holding everything together, disconnected from yourself, or stuck in patterns you can’t explain….. this episode will hit deeply.

Knowledge is power. Awareness is freedom. Travel is living.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Welcome to the dragonfly perspective. This is a space for seeing clearly through travel, business, and real life. We explore what's real, what's not, and how to trust your own intuition in a world that often pulls you away from it. These are conversations about awareness, discernment, and building freedom in a way that actually feels right. I'm powerful, and I'm glad you're here. Today's guest is someone whose work is helping people reconnect with themselves in a world that keeps people stuck in stress, overwhelm, and survival mode. Christine Wilde, founder of Walkthall Healing and Wellness, has turned our own experiences of grief, anxiety, emotional burnout, and rebuilding into a mission that now helps hundreds of people through breathwork, healing, and emotional awareness. What I love about this conversation is that it's not about fixing people, it's about understanding what the body holds on to, why so many people feel disconnected from themselves, and how healing often starts by finally feeling what we've spent years trying to avoid. This episode goes deep into survival patterns, emotional suppression, breath work, self-trust, and what happens when people finally give themselves permission to stop performing and start actually living. So, welcome to the Dragonfly Perspective. This is going to be a powerful conversation, Chris. And probably a funny one as well, because we've just been giggling like schoolgirls before we came back.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

That's what we do, isn't it? It's it's laughter through tears a lot of the days. Yeah, that's true. Tell us a bit about yourself, Chris. So I'm 52, I'm a mum of two. Um, I have a 16-year-old and eight-year-old, so it's a busy life. I run walk tall healing and wellness, and I absolutely love what I do because I make such a difference for people. But it also what people don't realise is with my clients, they make such a difference for me, too. And I think that's the thing, it's very reciprocal, isn't it? It's it's a lovely job to do, and I I feel very blessed to call this my job now. Um, but yeah, I'm I just enjoy life as much as I possibly can. I understand that I will have difficult times and I've come through many difficult times, but I know how to manage those times in a much healthier, better way now, and that's what I love to do for other people.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

I think it's something that we're never taught though, either. I mean, for me, in all of my life choices around work and business, it's always been reflecting, it's always been something that has always helped me as well. So I'm helping others, but I've gone through life learning how to help myself, and then it's it's naturally happened. We don't get taught how to do that enough.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

No, we definitely don't. I don't think there's any way of teaching at the moment that teaches people emotional intelligence, emotional awareness, how to manage your emotions better, how to look after your mental health in a way that is meaningful to you. It's not a one size fits all anymore. And I have been through um a lot of therapy, a lot of counselling, I've been on antidepressants, I have tried all of those traditional routes, and they did help, and there's a massive place for those for sure, and they did help at the time. But when I got to a point where I really needed help, I knew that none of that would help me because I did not want to talk about my story anymore. I did not want to talk about what had happened to me, which is ironic because um here I am telling you my story.

SPEAKER_00 4:20

It's all good. No, because it it's so true. I think sometimes I've been through therapy and I've I've been on medication and all sorts of different things, and I think it can re-traumatize. Certain approaches can re-traumatize whether we realise that's happening or whether we go through it and then look back and realize that's happening, it does happen. And some of the therapies that are available, some of the self-management techniques that you can now learn, and they've been around, they they're not new, they're ancient, but now it's more open to look at and and consider. We can manage our own mental health. Absolutely. And I think it's totally necessary these in this day and age. A lot of people dismiss breath work as just breathing. What do you think people fundamentally misunderstand about what the body stores emotionally?

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Well, when we think about how we feel, we feel in our bodies first, we feel that feeling in our bodies first, and then we give it a name with our mind, don't we? We're like, I know that's called this. So if we we say you wake up and you feel that anxious feeling in your tummy, your brain gives it a name already. That's that's anxiety, that is, and then the brain tries to fix it for you, and it tries to find ways of how it's fixed it before, so it keeps you in a loop of what you've done in the past, what you've done in the past, rather than actually allowing your mind and your body to link together, and breath work does that, it really connects body and mind, and it allows your body to bring those emotions out of your body, and it allows the mind to help with that because it's it shifts you into different states of awareness through the sessions to allow you to release emotion that's trapped in the body. Because if we don't process it, it does get trapped in the body, and it can lead to you know, stress, tension, it can lead to illnesses. You know, yourself when you kind of hold yourself in a certain way, you get you get problems with your shoulders. If you if you're walking in a certain way, it gets problems with your back, and all of those things. And I've known people who have just spontaneously healed through conscious connective breath work, but then we need to look at the other side as well, where it's the restorative breath work, the relaxation breath work, the calming breath work that you can use on a day-to-day basis to really help you to manage those emotions because it all goes back to cavemen, doesn't it? Always goes back to cavemen. And if you're breathing in that shallow way where it's right into your chest, it's telling your brain it's scared, you're scared, you're not safe. Whereas if we calm our breathing right down in that moment, it's telling your brain you're safe, you're okay. So it's using all of the different styles of breath work. So you can use them on a day-to-day basis, you can use them within a session to actually release emotion, you can use them in any way that is meaningful to you. So, yeah, it is just breathing, but it's understanding how breathing and how breath work can really influence how you feel and what you want to feel like. Because we forget as well, Paula, that it's a choice. We can choose how we feel, but sometimes our brain doesn't let us because it keeps us in that loop of I know this, this is how you manage this, when actually we can step out of that and do it a different way, and breath work can really help with that.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

That's amazing, and I think making that distinction as well, the language we use within our own brains, we take ownership of that feeling of anxiety, we call it mine. So you wake up in the morning, you've got that's my anxiety. I think that's a really important distinction to make when you separate from that, when you when you actually set, and I think that's what breath work does, in a way, you're kind of you're owning it, but separating yourself from it, and that's the release.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

Yeah, it's giving you that distance between what you want to release, but it's also giving you that closeness with what you want to feel because it's allowing you to make that choice, it's allowing you to step outside of what you already know and what's keeping you safe, but it's also keeping you stuck and it's giving you that space to really allow yourself to think, what do I want my life to look like? I mean, my life is completely different from when I first started Breath Work, absolutely, completely different. I get to do this as a job now. My life has changed enormously, and I am so much happier, and I see that within my clients. They are so much happier, so much calmer, so much more resilient, able to move forward, make decisions, and not stay in that loop of I don't know what to do, I'm stuck.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

People are so busy these days. We've got distractions all around us, everywhere. Now I know that you've recently had a problem with your phone and you were celebrating the fact that you were not tuning into all those distractions, which I absolutely love. Why do you think people are scared of actually going in and focusing on themselves? Because I think there's a lot of fear around it of facing yourself, and and that's what we we kind of need to have like assure, reassure people about that it's actually something that is going to be really positive for you.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

I see this a lot in clients. I I I hear this a lot with clients. I'm scared to do breath work because I don't know what will come up for me, I don't know how it will make me feel. And I think what we've got to remember is all of those difficult times that we've been through, we're here and we're through them. So in order to eliminate those feelings, if you like, that have been left behind, those emotions that are possibly stored in the body, the the maybe the trauma stored in the body, to to go through those for a small amount of 10 minutes maybe to allow them to be released, it's more of a relief than anything else. And it's it's not something that um that then becomes scary because it's not something you need to sit with, it's just something you need to let go, something you no longer need to carry. It's not yours anymore because it's not serving you. So letting it go is helping you, and people when people understand that and they understand the feeling afterwards, where it's like that clarity, that relief that oh my god, I'm not waking up with anxiety anymore, I'm not waking up with that feeling in in my chest anymore. And it's well, the first time that happened to me, I was like, I've forgotten something. I was literally like, I feel like I've forgotten something. What's different, what's changed, and then I realized I'd woken up and I wasn't anxious, and I was like, Oh, that's amazing, and it was all because of breath work, and I think that's the thing, people are scared to sit with the emotion because of how it made them feel first time round, but this is helping you move through it, process those emotions and move forward with leaving those emotions behind so that you can choose what else you want to feel.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

Yeah, I mean, I used to like depression depression, anxiety, and PTSD used to be a massive feature in my life, and all of those have shifted now. But when I was at the height of all of that happening for me, I kind of it was part of my identity, and I would describe myself as the person that has depression, anxiety, and PTSD. And I still, when I'm networking, when I speak to different rooms, when I'm chatting with other people, I still use that as part of how I describe myself because it is part of me, but it's a part of me that I've now conquered. And I think some people wear mental health issues and and physical health issues as a badge of honour sometimes, and that in itself is something that to have that awareness around changes the whole playing field, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_01 12:48

I think I think people may stay stuck in that cycle of mental health, of physical health, because it helps them to feel safe. Yes, it helps them to feel safe because they don't then have to do something slightly different, but they want to do something different. So it's that difficulty, isn't it, of I want to do that, but I can't do that, or don't I don't know if I can do that. When actually allowing you to understand that you can be safe moving past and moving through those emotions really makes a difference for people and opens things up for people to be able to move forward with their life and do things that are really important to them and that they want to do instead of being stuck in that frustrated um I can't kind of mentality, it's more of a actually it's safe for me to do that.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

Yeah. And that's like the shackles are off then, yeah, and it's that freedom that it brings when you've gone through that. Absolute freedom, and that's something different, completely different, which is a lovely way to feel. And it doesn't need to be a big in-depth like six-month counselling session. It can be a single breathwork session where you've not once gone into or multiple sessions potentially. What are your what's your guidance on on things like that? What do you normally do with clients?

SPEAKER_01 14:14

It just depends on what their needs are. I've had clients who've been with me for months and they they love the feeling that it helps them with it, you know, they've it's changed their lives, but they want to continue using breath work as a tool to allow them to release stress because it helps them. So it's kind of like maintain m maintenance for them now.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

But then I've had one-to-one clients who've had one specific thing that they want to work on, and I structure the the session so that we can really dig deep on that one thing that's stopping them from moving forward or that one issue that they want to let go of, and we really dig deep on that and allow then the breath to do its work.

unknown 14:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

And it it changes things massively for them. And again, you know, it's it they know that that's there and that tool is there for them. I do programmes with people that go through all of the different styles of breath work so that they can use them on a day-to-day basis and really build that into their life, as well as those having those big releases through the programme as well, so that they can start to process whatever is stuck for them, whatever is in there that they don't want anymore. And the difference that that has made for people. Um, I have one client who recently went on holiday on her own to New York, and it's you know, she would never have dreamed of doing that before. And I just think that it does actually change lives, but I know it does because I'm a product of that. Yeah, it's changed my life, so I understand how they're feeling as they go through that process because I've been through that process. Yeah, so it's really nice to be able to have that empathy for people in that way and understand exactly where they are in the process and and really see that you know they're gonna come out the other side and have that difference in their life and that space, and they can start to use their voice and take up space and and not be small because we get told a lot to be quiet, don't we?

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Oh, yes, indeed. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 16:15

Be good, be quiet, sit down. No, I want to take up some space and be a bit annoying. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

Yeah, definitely. Now, in your work, do you see any particular patterns that come up regularly for clients? Is there anything in particular that is sort of always an underlying something that is is what people want to clear?

SPEAKER_01 16:38

There are two things really. It's overwhelm, overwhelm. People get massively overwhelmed, like you said earlier. People are really, really busy, and lives are 100 miles an hour, and we are inundated with distractions, with information, and our brains aren't equipped to take on all of those things. I mean, before nine o'clock in the morning, I've had 48 WhatsApp, three Facebook messengers, and a couple of voice notes, and I'm like, Yes, what am I gonna do with all them then? My brain's not equipped to take on all of that information. So, and then we've got to do the normal day-to-day things as well, and it's overwhelmed. People just get so overwhelmed that they don't know how to move forward, they don't know how to feel anymore, and they're buried under all of these layers of expectations, of emotions, of things that they need to do, of things that they feel that they should do. I don't like that word should, but that's how people feel, yeah, and also change. Change is a massive pattern for people as well, excuse me, and people, whether it's a good change or a bad change, or a perceived bad change, or a perceived good change, you know, something happening in your life that is different, that is not something that you've done before. People can feel really unsettled by that. You know, even something as amazing as getting a new job, it can be really unsettling, having a baby, really unsettling, you know, and then there's the things like divorce or loss, grief, those things, those changes in your life where you've got to find a new normal. It's very difficult for people to navigate that and it creates a lot of stress. So being able to really look at those patterns for them, allow allow them to understand how the breath can help them day to day to build that calm and that resilience, but then using breath work to release any emotions that are no longer theirs to carry can really help them gain that clarity, release the overwhelm, get used to the change, understand that the change can help rather than hinder and move them forward. So those two things are what I generally come across as overwhelm and change.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

You changing lives. I mean, this isn't this isn't small time, this is absolutely changing everything that we ever thought about breathing. Um, sometimes I know when I've chatted with people, they don't breathe correctly. Because you mentioned that shallow breathing, that is that's our default setting in today's world. It never used to be. Uh well, it kind of did, and then we'd move into a different awareness and it it wasn't. But now that shallow breathing, you're not. I know that you can breathe pretty deep and just do a massive outbreath, and you feel a hundred times better just from doing that. So going deeper into breath work and into a full session is absolutely like a game changer for people. Yeah. Now, have you got any tips on what people can do just in an in the everyday situations that people have? Any um small sort of breath work that they can do themselves whilst they're going through everyday stress. Do you have anything to do?

SPEAKER_01 19:59

I can tell you what I do when I get in the car after trying to get two boys ready for school. Yes, please dress them and shouting shoes on kids now. I tend to just think from just it literally takes seconds. Just lower your shoulders, breathe in through your nose for five, just hold it for seven, and then breathe out for eight. And if you get confused with the numbers, it literally is just breathe in deeply, hold for a little while, and then a really long, slow exhale, and that really calms everything down. It tells your amygdala at the back of your head that you're safe, yes, there's no danger, and it calms everything down and it puts you right back into that parasympathetic nervous system where you are just relaxed now, I'm okay now, we're all okay, there's no stress. But we do breathe very shallowly all of the time, and I think being aware of nose breathing is very important because when we breathe through our mouths, it can be quite activated and it fills our lungs quickly and it empties them quickly. When we breathe through our noses, it takes a longer, slower time. So that helps as well to make sure that you are breathing properly to help promote calm and resilience. Go into sleep as well. We can if we breathe through our mouths when we're asleep, that can be something that um means that we wake up with that anxious feeling because we're breathing shallowly through our sleep. So I know this isn't for everybody, but mouth tape, you can put mouth tape on which makes you breathe through your nose when you're asleep, and that really can help you to wake up and feel calm and not have that anxiety because all through the night you're breathing in much slower, longer way, and that helps your brain say, You're safe, mate. You know, and it's just those simple little things. So whenever I feel like I'm getting a bit stressed. Stressed, I will take those long, slow exhales, deep breath, long, slow exhales in through the nose, long slow exhale through the mouth, and it really does help to just give you that space to think, I'm alright, it's okay. You know, and that's the simplest way of really trying to calm things down.

SPEAKER_00 22:21

That's really powerful, and I'm sure a lot of our listeners will be using those tips. Um, before we come to a close, can you tell us where we can find you so that we can uh visit one of your sessions so we can come and see what you do? Where can we find you?

SPEAKER_01 22:39

I'm uh walktallwellness.co.uk. Um I'm on all major social medias. So Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn as walkthroughs.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

When your phone's working, you are.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

Yeah, yeah. I'm getting there. It should be done by this evening. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

No, you are.

SPEAKER_01 22:57

Yeah. Um, and you can contact me anytime on those, that's no problem. Um, I'm on Facebook as Christine Wilde, so you can find me there too. Um, and I do in-person sessions, but I also do online sessions as well, so it can be something that can be done in the comfort of your own home. Because I know some people who can be a little bit um reticent to actually try, they can do it in the comfort of their own home. That's lovely. That's that you're on for that.

SPEAKER_00 23:27

Is there anything that you're working on at the moment? Anything else?

SPEAKER_01 23:30

I've got a lovely lovely programme coming at the moment called Stripping Back the Layers, because I think that's one of the things that I mentioned earlier is we are kind of under all these layers of expectations, of emotions, of jobs that we need to do, of hats that we need to wear, of shuds that we need to do, and and um I think that's one of the things that we really struggle with, is then that that brings overwhelm and stops us from moving forward. So I've got a new programme, an eight-week programme coming up called Stripping Back the Layers, which will take us, take you through not just that conscious connected release breathwork, excuse me, but we'll also talk about some of the different styles of breathwork that you can use on a day-to-day basis, meditation as well, so you've got that rest and relaxation breathwork in there, but we'll also look at some of the core needs on how to feel safe, how to feel connected, how to feel belonging, so that it really brings both body and mind together to really help with that. And I do throw in a little bit of Reiki as well, so that people have a little bit of Reiki there too. But that's all done online as well, so everybody can just um do that in the comfort of their own home and really feel the benefit of that. So that's a lovely programme that's coming up soon.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

That sounds incredible. Thank you so much, Chris, for being here today. I've really enjoyed it. This conversation is such an important reminder that healing isn't always loud, dramatic, or performative. Sometimes it starts with awareness, sometimes it starts with finally slowing down enough to hear yourself again. Christine's story shows what can happen when someone stops running from their pain and starts understanding it instead, and how that transformation can ripple out to help other people do the same. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear that survival isn't the same as living. And as always, knowledge is power, awareness is freedom, travel is living. Thank you for listening.