SPEAKER_00: I have a vivid memory as a child having a little tyke's basketball hoop.
SPEAKER_00: Does anybody else remember having a little tyke's basketball hoop?
SPEAKER_00: A few of you.
SPEAKER_00: One of my other very vivid memories is at the ripe age of four years old, the very first time that my dad was able to defeat me in a basketball game on my little Tykes hoop.
SPEAKER_00: And it may be difficult for you to believe, but upon losing my undefeated streak and losing that first game, I went nuclear.
SPEAKER_00: Absolute four-year-old meltdown.
SPEAKER_00: I don't know what kind of training regimen my dad was on the week before to get his jump shot in order, but he must have been training around the clock to take me down.
SPEAKER_00: And I didn't know how to handle it.
SPEAKER_00: I'd never lost.
SPEAKER_00: And I freaked out.
SPEAKER_00: And you've, you know, any of you can easily remember in your own life or the life of other children what that looks like.
SPEAKER_00: It was not a good thing.
SPEAKER_00: Well, I continued on throughout most of my childhood playing sports and learning that sports both reveal character and form character.
SPEAKER_00: See both of those, and was glad to have people invest in my life at various points along the way.
SPEAKER_00: But one of the most interesting outbursts that I recall was after a fourth-grade basketball game, I still have a pretty clear picture of the elementary school gym in which we were playing.
SPEAKER_00: And on the way home, we got to the car, and I, again, had an emotional outburst, just totally out of control.
SPEAKER_00: And in that moment, in the car, my dad looks over, and I realized right there, maybe I didn't realize right there, I realized looking back on it, that I had the gift of a dad that was proactive in discipleship.
SPEAKER_00: And he looks at me and he said, Justin, your lack of self-control is a major problem right now.
SPEAKER_00: And so we're gonna start to memorize Bible verses that have to do with self-control because we have to get this thing reined in.
SPEAKER_00: And the very first verse that he had me memorize was Proverbs 25, 28.
SPEAKER_00: Like a city without walls is a man who lacks self-control.
SPEAKER_00: And we would recite that Bible verse every single game we went to in the car, on the way, and on the way home afterwards, seeking to build this muscle of self-control.
SPEAKER_00: Now it's interesting.
SPEAKER_00: I've memorized at this point in my life, as 10 years old, grew up in a church that emphasizes scripture memory.
SPEAKER_00: I'd probably memorized hundreds of Bible verses at this point.
SPEAKER_00: Grew up in the Iwana program, some of you did that.
SPEAKER_00: But this one is the very first one I remember as active spiritual formation in my own life.
SPEAKER_00: And so for me, Proverbs 25, 28 has been a major anchor passage in my own life.
SPEAKER_00: If you're new with us at Parkside, we're in the middle of a five-week series called Anchors, where different pastors are preaching on passages that have been a huge anchor in their own spiritual formation.
SPEAKER_00: Two weeks from today, August 9th, we're gonna kick off a study in the book of Exodus, one of the most epic stories and narratives in all the Bible, in fact, in all the world.
SPEAKER_00: And I am thrilled to get that kicked off.
SPEAKER_00: There is a link in your bulletin to get some more information about it.
SPEAKER_00: There are scripture journals out in the lobby to give you uh some time to start marinating in that, and I am so, so excited for it.
SPEAKER_00: But we're not there yet.
SPEAKER_00: Today we're in Proverbs 25, verse 28, this first major verse that I recall in my own spiritual formation.
SPEAKER_00: And parents, I just want to ask you a question right out of the gate.
SPEAKER_00: Will your kids remember the Bible verses you are memorizing with them as a part of their active spiritual formation?
SPEAKER_00: Look, we we understand there's a lot that goes into Sunday morning and the life of the church and perhaps other parachurch ministries, you know, awana programs or Christian schools or things that are investing in the spiritual growth of your kids, but will your kids remember these early steps you're taking to invest in their spiritual growth?
SPEAKER_00: Perhaps this is a charge to you based on the example of my dad to be a little more active in that formation.
SPEAKER_00: Listen, as a 10-year-old, I recognized I need to grow in my own self-control.
SPEAKER_00: This is a weakness in my life.
SPEAKER_00: But what I didn't recognize was how significant and central self-control would be to the whole human experience.
SPEAKER_00: And I don't think I realized as a 10-year-old how much the Bible had to say about self-control.
SPEAKER_00: I mean it is all over the place.
SPEAKER_00: I was actually a little bit surprised, even in my preparation for this sermon, how many passages it just comes up over and over and over.
SPEAKER_00: So the main claim of Proverbs 25, 28, and the main thing I want you to hear this morning is simply this.
SPEAKER_00: Self-control is essential for a God-honoring life.
SPEAKER_00: And our outline is pretty simple.
SPEAKER_00: I just want to look at number one, the urgency of self-control.
SPEAKER_00: Number two, the challenges to self-control.
SPEAKER_00: And number three, the game plan for self-control.
SPEAKER_00: Urgency, challenges, game plan.
SPEAKER_00: Urgency of self-control.
SPEAKER_00: This is actually the first point.
SPEAKER_00: The urgency is really the main thrust of Proverbs 25, 28.
SPEAKER_00: Well, look back at your copy of God's word.
SPEAKER_00: Let me read the passage again to you.
SPEAKER_00: It says this a man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.
SPEAKER_00: Now, this is not how we normally think of cities in the 21st century without having a wall, but in the ancient world, having a tall wall, a thick wall, a sturdy wall was the mark of protection.
SPEAKER_00: It might be today like a bank not having cybersecurity.
SPEAKER_00: It will quickly be torn down and left in ruins with no one investing their money there.
SPEAKER_00: Or you imagine in the ancient world, they were not calling in cyber attacks, they were not calling in drone strikes.
SPEAKER_00: Perhaps there's a catapult throwing items in.
SPEAKER_00: Was it the Monty Python movie where they're chucking the dead horses over the wall in?
SPEAKER_00: Like there's all kinds of ways you can think about the ancient world and attacks that are coming, but but the wall is absolutely essential for the welfare of the city, for its social well-being, its economic well-being, its political well-being.
SPEAKER_00: There is a reason in the book of Nehemiah, when Nehemiah returns to Jerusalem, what is the great urgency?
SPEAKER_00: Rebuild the wall so that we can worship in peace and have robust social life and build out this city in a way that will honor God.
SPEAKER_00: If we were to take this principle of the city without its walls and apply it in the 21st century to a similar kind of proverb, you might say a man who lacks self-control is like a loaded semi speeding down a mountain without breaks.
SPEAKER_00: In other words, it's a dangerous and a deadly path that will bring destruction for you and those around you if you do not have self-control.
SPEAKER_00: Or you might say self-control is essential for a God-honoring life.
SPEAKER_00: Now, I told you there were innumerable passages throughout the Bible talking about self-control, and I'm not going to read all of them to you, otherwise, our children's ministry team would be very upset with me.
SPEAKER_00: But I will give you a few of them just to help highlight the urgency of self-control.
SPEAKER_00: You might start in Galatians chapter 5 and verse 22.
SPEAKER_00: The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, self-control.
SPEAKER_00: In other words, what Paul is saying in Galatians is that self-control is a spiritual issue.
SPEAKER_00: Perhaps you've thought of it as a personal growth area, a discipline you'd like to develop.
SPEAKER_00: But have you thought of self-control or the lack of self-control as a sin to be repented of?
SPEAKER_00: That heightens the urgency level there.
SPEAKER_00: Other passages, Titus chapter 2 says, older men are to be self-controlled.
SPEAKER_00: Which is not a excuse clause for the younger men, because just a couple of verses later in Titus chapter 2 it says, likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.
SPEAKER_00: Which is not an outclause for the ladies either, because in 1 Timothy chapter 2 it says, women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel with modesty and with self-control.
SPEAKER_00: So it touches everybody.
SPEAKER_00: It's a spiritual issue, not just a matter of personal growth and development.
SPEAKER_00: 1 Peter chapter 4, Peter even ups the ante a little bit more.
SPEAKER_00: He says, the end of all things is at hand.
SPEAKER_00: Therefore be self-controlled.
SPEAKER_00: 1 Peter 4, 7.
SPEAKER_00: Which is such an interesting lead-in.
SPEAKER_00: The end of all things is at hand.
SPEAKER_00: Therefore, be self-controlled.
SPEAKER_00: It's as if you're looking at a sports team and they say, This is the last two minutes of the game.
SPEAKER_00: Every single possession matters.
SPEAKER_00: One turnover could cost us the game.
SPEAKER_00: Therefore, get locked in.
SPEAKER_00: The end of all things is at hand.
SPEAKER_00: Jesus will come back soon.
SPEAKER_00: Therefore, Christian, be self-controlled.
SPEAKER_00: There's an urgency here.
SPEAKER_00: And as if Peter has not raised the urgency enough in his first epistle that I just quoted from, he kicks off his second epistle, 2 Peter chapter 1, and he says this make every effort to supplement your faith with self-control.
SPEAKER_00: I wonder if you could honestly stand before the God of the universe this week and answer this question Did you make every effort this last seven days to supplement your faith with self-control?
SPEAKER_00: Peter drives the point a bit further and says, For if these qualities are yours, he lists many alongside self-control.
SPEAKER_00: I just listed the one.
SPEAKER_00: He says, If these qualities are yours, and if they are increasing, they will keep you from being ineffective and unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: Okay, quick straw poll.
SPEAKER_00: How many of you would like to be ineffective and unfruitful in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus?
SPEAKER_00: I don't see a hand up.
SPEAKER_00: I'm glad for that.
SPEAKER_00: Peter says a lack of self-control will keep you from being a lack of self-control will make you ineffective and unfruitful in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: Guys, I don't know how the scriptures could be more obvious in the urgency of developing self-control.
SPEAKER_00: This is a major thing.
SPEAKER_00: And not only is there urgency all over the scriptures, self-control is like the foundation for honoring God in every facet of life.
SPEAKER_00: Just think with me through a couple areas here.
SPEAKER_00: Self-control is the foundation for honoring God in your body with the food that I eat, with the exercise I pursue, with the sleeping habits that I engage in, with the ways that I resist sexual urges.
SPEAKER_00: And the list goes on and on.
SPEAKER_00: Self-control is the foundation for how I honor God in my speech by saying no to gossiping words, crass words, sharp words, self-centered words.
SPEAKER_00: Self-control is the foundation for honoring God in my finances, where desires for generosity are often squelched by overspending.
SPEAKER_00: Self-control is the foundation for honoring God in the media that I consume.
SPEAKER_00: Not only the content that I'm bringing in, but also the amount of time I'm spending on my various devices.
SPEAKER_00: Self-control is the foundation for honoring God when I have various impulses arising from sadness or anger or joy or excitement or frustration.
SPEAKER_00: Self-control is the foundation for honoring God when I suffer and I'm in the midst of deep trials.
SPEAKER_00: Where it's difficult to see the grace of God in my life because circumstances are so difficult, it takes much self-control to train my eyes to see the grace of God.
SPEAKER_00: Self-control is the foundation for honoring God in every area of life.
SPEAKER_00: So let me return to the question of 2 Peter chapter 1, brothers and sisters, this past week.
SPEAKER_00: Did you make every effort to supplement your faith with self-control?
SPEAKER_00: Because self-control is essential for a God-honoring life.
SPEAKER_00: It is an absolute necessity.
SPEAKER_00: It is not optional.
SPEAKER_00: There is a great urgency to self-control, is what the scriptures would have us learn, understand, consider, and take to heart.
SPEAKER_00: Now, with sufficient urgency raised, you're like, okay, Justin, I hear you.
SPEAKER_00: What comes next?
SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about some challenges to developing self-control.
SPEAKER_00: This brings us into our second point.
SPEAKER_00: And the challenges can show up in a variety of life circumstances, right?
SPEAKER_00: You think about a stressful job that makes it difficult to show self-control in the evenings.
SPEAKER_00: Perhaps you think of AI-based ads that are just pervasive and they seem to hit you at the weakest moment, and it makes it very difficult to show self-control because they get you like at the worst of times.
SPEAKER_00: Perhaps you think about inflation in the ways that makes it difficult to show self-control.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've been attacked by a disease or by a person in your life, which makes it very difficult to show self-control.
SPEAKER_00: Or perhaps your body is breaking down in various ways, which makes it difficult to show self-control.
SPEAKER_00: Or perhaps your body is strong and beautiful, which in other ways makes it difficult to show self-control.
SPEAKER_00: You see, there's all kinds of like circumstantial ways that self-control is made complex by the challenges of life.
SPEAKER_00: But I want to push deeper than these kind of circumstantial kinds of things.
SPEAKER_00: I want you to look at someone next to you and say, let's go deeper.
SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's go deeper.
SPEAKER_00: Let me talk about two deeper challenges to self-control.
SPEAKER_00: I want to talk about idols and isolation.
SPEAKER_00: Idols and isolation.
SPEAKER_00: If we start thinking about idols, I recognize there are idols underneath all of our behaviors.
SPEAKER_00: Now, if you're newer to church or you haven't been to Parkside before, maybe the idolatry language seems a little bit odd.
SPEAKER_00: Like, isn't that what they did back in the day, bowing down to sticks and stones and those kinds of things?
SPEAKER_00: But the Bible talks about idols as things that our heart loves more than anything else.
SPEAKER_00: They are good things that become ultimate things.
SPEAKER_00: In fact, in 1 John chapter 5, the very last words of John's letter, he says this, little children, keep yourselves from idols.
SPEAKER_00: There's a challenge here.
SPEAKER_00: You might think of idols a bit like a fire while you're grilling.
SPEAKER_00: You're grilling and you see the flame leaping up, but it matters a lot if it's a grease fire or not underneath the flame as far as how you fight the flame.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: You see the flame and you think we need water here.
SPEAKER_00: But if the underneath cause is grease, you don't want the water.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: So it is with idols.
SPEAKER_00: We see the behavior is the flame popping up, and I'm wise to say, what's underneath that?
SPEAKER_00: How do I fight against these idols?
SPEAKER_00: Some of the most common idols that we we think about are heart-level idols, things like comfort or the approval of others, or control, or power, or influence.
SPEAKER_00: And if you don't know which idols you are most prone to, it is very worthwhile to pause and consider.
SPEAKER_00: It will take a little bit of time.
SPEAKER_00: I'd urge you to take some time this afternoon, even and consider that.
SPEAKER_00: But you want to ask yourself as you start to probe your own heart and say, which idols am I more prone to?
SPEAKER_00: Questions like these.
SPEAKER_00: Which of these things would really make me happy?
SPEAKER_00: Which of them would make me truly acceptable in the world?
SPEAKER_00: You want to ask yourself, what is it that I fear losing the most?
SPEAKER_00: And you might consider, where are my emotions regularly stirred?
SPEAKER_00: Where do I get worked up or really upset?
SPEAKER_00: Those are indicators towards your idols.
SPEAKER_00: You might ask, where does it make sense to invest time and money the most?
SPEAKER_00: That can lead me towards the things I'm worshiping.
SPEAKER_00: You might consider, where does my mind wander when I don't have other things to think about?
SPEAKER_00: And that starts to lead you down the path to the idols that you may be worshiping.
SPEAKER_00: So I don't want to live only up at the cloud level here.
SPEAKER_00: I want to try and get practical and explain what this might look like.
SPEAKER_00: So you consider someone who might engage in unwise spending.
SPEAKER_00: Like, why do I keep spending so much?
SPEAKER_00: Well, on the one hand, you could have a heart-level idol of comfort.
SPEAKER_00: And there are these things that I want that'll bring me comfort, and I keep spending because if I just had the next thing and the next hit, then I would be happy.
SPEAKER_00: But at the same time, unwise spending could be tracked to approval.
SPEAKER_00: And I want the approval of others, and so I spend so they will see me in a certain way, and I would be approved of by them.
SPEAKER_00: And so addressing the idol underneath the unwise spending is really significant for how you fight that grease fire.
SPEAKER_00: Well, let me give you another example.
SPEAKER_00: Perhaps you're prone to worry.
SPEAKER_00: You're often anxious about many things.
SPEAKER_00: Well, you ask yourself, am I anxious, am I worrying about losing control of a particular situation?
SPEAKER_00: Or am I anxious and worrying that I might become irrelevant?
SPEAKER_00: You see, I'm I'm actually idolizing influence here, and you see that the symptom of worry, but there's a different idol underneath it.
SPEAKER_00: Let me give you another one.
SPEAKER_00: You think of someone who's binging a lot of media or food or different things.
SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes we are trying to numb ourselves to some kind of external reality, but ask, what is it that I'm trying to numb myself to?
SPEAKER_00: Does life feel so stressful and so out of control?
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm not in control, I can't get back in control of the pressures of life, and I've idolized control, and therefore I want to numb myself from it?
SPEAKER_00: Or have I lost the approval of a friend, of a loved one?
SPEAKER_00: I can't deal with the loss of their approval, and therefore I numb myself to that reality in service of a heart-level idol.
SPEAKER_00: So you see that there's symptoms we see that could have multiple idols or different idols underneath them that make it difficult to show self-control.
SPEAKER_00: And if we merely say, show self-control, quit doing that thing, quit doing that thing, quit doing that thing, without addressing the idols underneath, it's like pulling weeds without getting to the root.
SPEAKER_00: You can snap off the top, and your garden might look a little bit better for a couple of weeks, but the same root issues will persist for a lifetime.
SPEAKER_00: And so we want to work to uproot the idols of our heart so that we can grow in long-term habits and patterns of self-control.
SPEAKER_00: Now, I said there were two challenges.
SPEAKER_00: The one was idols, the other is isolation.
SPEAKER_00: Look at somebody near you and say, we need each other.
SPEAKER_00: We need each other.
SPEAKER_00: We need to go together.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: So isolation is a major challenge for showing self-control in this way.
SPEAKER_00: One of Satan's major challenges, or not challenges, one of his major strategies, excuse me, is to isolate you from other people, especially Christians, to be isolated from each other.
SPEAKER_00: And this is never God's design.
SPEAKER_00: Listen, God's intention for the church and for the Christian life is that it's lived in community, not merely attending somewhere on Sunday morning as the performance of a service, but locking arms, life on life, living together in the pursuit of holiness and honoring Christ in every aspect of our life.
SPEAKER_00: The number one metaphor for the church in the New Testament is that of a family, brothers and sisters in Christ, spiritual fathers, spiritual mothers, spiritual grandparents, deep, intimate, relational connection.
SPEAKER_00: It's very interesting in the book of 1 Peter, Peter uses the word you in the plural.
SPEAKER_00: Y'all this, y'all that, y'all go over there, y'all watch out for that.
SPEAKER_00: And there's one time in 1 Peter where he uses you in the singular.
SPEAKER_00: 1 Peter 5 8.
SPEAKER_00: He says, Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone.
SPEAKER_00: To devour the isolated one, the one who's not with the group.
SPEAKER_00: Anyone who's seen the National Geographic Channel knows that the lions are always pursuing the buffalo with the limp who's behind the herd.
SPEAKER_00: Satan likewise is hunting you in a similar way.
SPEAKER_00: And there's all kinds of factors in our world that are bent towards isolating us.
SPEAKER_00: Our technology isolates us.
SPEAKER_00: We should stop calling social media social media and call it anti-social media.
SPEAKER_00: Because it doesn't bring us together.
SPEAKER_00: There's a deep anti-institutionalism in our culture that isolates us.
SPEAKER_00: Because what that does, it separates us from a binding community and a covenant together.
SPEAKER_00: It says, no, I'll just go my own way and I'll split off and do my own thing.
SPEAKER_00: Our raging schedules isolate us, do they not?
SPEAKER_00: Where there may be a good desire to be with other brothers and sisters, and yet the demands of the schedule that have gotten out of control keep me from actually being together with others.
SPEAKER_00: I fit in Lord's Day worship where I can if there's not a conflict with whatever other thing I have going on.
SPEAKER_00: Listen, this is what I was talking about during announcements at the get-go, but meaningful membership within a local church is one of the great gifts that God has given us in growing in the exercise of self-control.
SPEAKER_00: Meaningful membership.
SPEAKER_00: Not your name on a roll, not you regularly show up, but you're meaningfully committed to love one another.
SPEAKER_00: It starts with that commitment.
SPEAKER_00: If you're newer to Parkset, I encourage you to come to this class in a couple weeks and start to learn about who we are.
SPEAKER_00: It starts there.
SPEAKER_00: But it goes a lot deeper because you can join a church, take a class, stand in front of everybody, make the commitments, and not be living in meaningful membership.
SPEAKER_00: You can be walking in isolation, even as you're regularly here.
SPEAKER_00: It means that you know others and you are known by others.
SPEAKER_00: It means you're gonna get into a Sunday school class or a community group.
SPEAKER_00: And it means that as you break that group down into smaller groups, you're gonna get together with brothers and sisters to read the word during the week and confess sin and celebrate joys and pray for one another.
SPEAKER_00: James 5.17, that you may be healed.
SPEAKER_00: That's what we mean by meaningful membership.
SPEAKER_00: So you could say, Justin, I've taken the class, my name's on the roll, and you're not walking in meaningful membership, and you are walking practically speaking in isolation.
SPEAKER_00: Students, can I talk to you for a second here?
SPEAKER_00: Elementary students or middle school students or high school students, these are critical habits for you guys to build, especially as we step into a new school year.
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna come back to school, you're gonna come back to your co-op, and you're gonna be finding out that there are people who have made unwise choices during the summer, and you're gonna find there are people who have made very wise choices over the summer.
SPEAKER_00: And how you choose to walk in discipling relationships with your other classmates will set a big trajectory for your spiritual formation this school year.
SPEAKER_00: Choose wisely and choose intentionally.
SPEAKER_00: And kids, I would just say to you, we talk about confessing sin and praying for one another.
SPEAKER_00: It's really careful that we exercise a degree of caution there.
SPEAKER_00: We don't want to be confessing sins out to everybody all over the world.
SPEAKER_00: But if you have one or two close trusted friends, that can be a helpful gift.
SPEAKER_00: Perhaps it's your discussion group leader or your small group leader in youth group.
SPEAKER_00: But don't think this is just for the adults.
SPEAKER_00: These are habits for your own spiritual formation as well.
SPEAKER_00: So self-control is a matter of high urgency, the scriptures told us.
SPEAKER_00: And there's a couple of challenges with the idols of our heart and the isolation in which we live.
SPEAKER_00: But if we're to get past those and get practical on how do I start building habits of self-control, what would that look like?
SPEAKER_00: I'm glad you asked.
SPEAKER_00: That's the next thing I have in my notes.
SPEAKER_00: Game plan for self-control.
SPEAKER_00: In other words, here's what I'm trying to say in this last point.
SPEAKER_00: 2 Peter 1 said, make every effort to supplement your faith with self-control.
SPEAKER_00: If we were to take that seriously, like in practical terms, what would it look like to make every effort to supplement our faith with self-control?
SPEAKER_00: That's what we want to think about here at the end for a minute.
SPEAKER_00: As we get into this, I'm reminded of something my Uncle Jeff told me.
SPEAKER_00: My Uncle Jeff was a very successful businessman in the furniture industry.
SPEAKER_00: And one of his little quotable lines, one of his tweetable tweets before there were tweets or X's or whatever they're called now, he always said this.
SPEAKER_00: He said, No plan will work unless you do.
SPEAKER_00: That's worth thinking about as we talk about a game plan for self-control.
SPEAKER_00: No plan for self-control will work unless you do.
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna have to exert some effort.
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna have to get after it here, and it's gonna take some endurance and some perseverance.
SPEAKER_00: And I recognize it'll be slow at times, it'll be imperfect at times, but it's a path towards growth.
SPEAKER_00: This past week, my daughter Grace and I went golfing.
SPEAKER_00: By which I mean I went golfing and she got to come with me.
SPEAKER_00: And uh she sat in the cart, and I let her drive the cart for a little bit, and we brought the third hole, and it was a straight stretch of cart path, and she drove that cart perfectly down the cart path.
SPEAKER_00: She crushed it.
SPEAKER_00: Good job, Grace.
SPEAKER_00: And then about three or four holes later, we got up, and I was I'd hit the ball well off the cart path, and uh we had chased it down, and she had a chance to drive the cart to the cart path, and she got it over to the cart path, but then we overshot it.
SPEAKER_00: And then we kind of turned and we overshot it back the other way.
SPEAKER_00: We turned and we overshot it back the other way, and we got it figured out.
SPEAKER_00: But we got home, and do you know what we told the rest of the family?
SPEAKER_00: Grace got to drive the cart today.
SPEAKER_00: We didn't say, Grace couldn't figure out how to get it on the cart path today.
SPEAKER_00: Why?
SPEAKER_00: Because she made real progress and she really grew in her ability to steer that golf cart without getting it perfect.
SPEAKER_00: So it is in our exercise of self-control.
SPEAKER_00: Look for real progress, even if imperfect solutions.
SPEAKER_00: Because it's gonna take time to build these muscles.
SPEAKER_00: So don't let Satan beat you down because you don't have it totally nailed, but say, how can I make real progress this week?
SPEAKER_00: As we talk about a game plan, it's important that we have a gospel-shaped game plan.
SPEAKER_00: There are lots of practical resources that can help you.
SPEAKER_00: You might read an inspirational book, like Admiral William McGraven has that famous book, Make Your Bed.
SPEAKER_00: You want to be inspired to run through a brick wall?
SPEAKER_00: Go read that thing.
SPEAKER_00: You need some help in how to think about habit formation, go read James Clear's book, Atomic Habits, really helpful stuff.
SPEAKER_00: But what they're pulling is common grace wisdom that we want to build on.
SPEAKER_00: But I don't want to just give you a TED talk about something that pop psychology is giving you.
SPEAKER_00: How do we have an actual gospel-shaped approach to building self-control in our lives?
SPEAKER_00: Let me give you an acrostic.
SPEAKER_00: Cable.
SPEAKER_00: As in cable TV back when we had cable TV.
SPEAKER_00: C-A-B-L-E, five steps that will help us build a game plan for self-control.
SPEAKER_00: Number C letter C, cable.
SPEAKER_00: Confess.
SPEAKER_00: Confess means to tell the truth to God and others.
SPEAKER_00: Right out of the gate, if I'm gonna grow in self-control, I need to tell the truth to God and others about where I am in this realm of self-control.
SPEAKER_00: In other words, like Pastor Joe B Martin says, if you fight the devil in the dark, he's gonna kick your butt.
SPEAKER_00: You're not supposed to walk in isolation.
SPEAKER_00: I need to tell the truth to God and others, here's where I'm at.
SPEAKER_00: And we're not gonna tell the truth in vague generalities, but in specifics.
SPEAKER_00: It may be something like this as it comes to my speech, I am very weak in showing self-control.
SPEAKER_00: My words are sharp, and I'm quick to make judgments instead of listening.
SPEAKER_00: You might say, my sexual urges dominate my brain, and I justify it because I haven't acted on them recently.
SPEAKER_00: It could be clear in our confession.
SPEAKER_00: You might say, slothfulness is my hidden sin.
SPEAKER_00: I don't work as unto the Lord, I work as unto men.
SPEAKER_00: And I get my work done at my job, I get things done around the house, I'm a reasonable parent or spouse or what have you.
SPEAKER_00: But I'm not giving everything I got.
SPEAKER_00: I'm not working as unto the Lord, I'm just doing enough to get the job done.
SPEAKER_00: There are lazy impulses in my heart that need to die.
SPEAKER_00: And what you'll soon discover is that if your identity is found in your performance, you'll never be able to truly confess and tell the truth.
SPEAKER_00: Because you'll need to keep up the appearances.
SPEAKER_00: But the heart that has received grace, whose identity is in the grace of Jesus Christ, received and not earned, then I'm able to truly be honest and tell the truth to God and others about where I'm at, because that is the foundation of my identity.
SPEAKER_00: So that's the C, confess.
SPEAKER_00: The A, ask.
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna ask for God's help by claiming the promises of Scripture.
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna read Scripture, memorize Scripture, meditate on Scripture, and the things I read, I'm gonna claim those as my own.
SPEAKER_00: It's as if you're traveling, you get on the airline, and your back gets lost, and you have that little ticket when you go to the Southwest desk, it says, That back is mine.
SPEAKER_00: See, I have this ticket, I'm claiming it.
SPEAKER_00: So you get out your Bible and you say, That promise is mine because I've received it by faith, and I'm claiming it and applying it to my heart today.
SPEAKER_00: So you're gonna look through the scriptures and you're gonna have some passages on speed dial.
SPEAKER_00: Perhaps it's 1 John 4, 4.
SPEAKER_00: Greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world.
SPEAKER_00: I need to realize I have this power, the Spirit of God working inside of me that is greater than any other name.
SPEAKER_00: Or 1 John 4, 18, perfect love casts out fear.
SPEAKER_00: Lord Jesus, help me to receive your love as real in my heart that it would cast out the fear that I'm facing.
SPEAKER_00: Or it's Philippians 2.12, it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
SPEAKER_00: So, Lord Jesus, give me the will to work, give me the desire to work, to fight for holiness.
SPEAKER_00: When I feel like I have no energy and no strength and no desire, I'm claiming this ticket that you said you would work in me.
SPEAKER_00: Or it's 1 Corinthians chapter 10 and verse 13.
SPEAKER_00: No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.
SPEAKER_00: But God is faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but with every temptation will provide a way out that you may stand up under it.
SPEAKER_00: I don't see the way out.
SPEAKER_00: God help me see the way out.
SPEAKER_00: You promised there'd be a way out.
SPEAKER_00: I'm claiming that ticket right here as I seek to build self-control in this area of sin in my life.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's Romans chapter 8 and verse 1.
SPEAKER_00: There's therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: I'm fighting this battle to actually believe the truth of the gospel in my own heart.
SPEAKER_00: Because the guilt and the shame are thick, and I'm trying to go back to the truth of the gospel, and it takes self-control, and I need to preach the gospel to myself this week.
SPEAKER_00: You ask.
SPEAKER_00: You ask for God's help by claiming his promises in Scripture, saying, This ticket is mine and it's been received by faith.
SPEAKER_00: C-A-B.
SPEAKER_00: What's the B?
SPEAKER_00: It's build.
SPEAKER_00: Build small habits in community.
SPEAKER_00: We know that small habits tend to grow into bigger habits.
SPEAKER_00: And when it comes to habit formation, consistency always beats intensity.
SPEAKER_00: So build small habits, build them in community.
SPEAKER_00: My tendency is to try to go big right out of the gate.
SPEAKER_00: Like, you should imagine, like, you know, I've taken a couple months off from brushing my teeth, and um, just kidding, I've been taking a couple months off from brushing my teeth.
SPEAKER_00: I found out who was awake there.
SPEAKER_00: But if I had, strange thought, you know what, I'm gonna brush three times a day, floss twice a day, and use mouthwash twice a day.
SPEAKER_00: It's like, man, buddy, if you've gone a couple months without brushing, why don't we just make that a like a bedtime rhythm?
SPEAKER_00: Start with once a day and build from there.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: Okay, now that's a s boy, somebody needed to hear that message.
SPEAKER_00: No hands, no hands, I promise.
SPEAKER_00: Um, what does it look like to build more small habits in community?
SPEAKER_00: It's not getting up at four in the morning and doing two workouts and eating 48 grams of protein for breakfast.
SPEAKER_00: It's setting your alarm 15 minutes earlier so that you can read the Lord's Prayer and meditate on it before you're out the door.
SPEAKER_00: And ask a friend if they would text you in the afternoon to see how it went.
SPEAKER_00: It's not fixing your entire diet.
SPEAKER_00: It's saying, you know what, I'm gonna not drink calories this week.
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna take a baby step in fixing that element.
SPEAKER_00: In family discipleship, dads, we're not asking you to preach a seven-point sermon.
SPEAKER_00: We're saying when you leave today, take the song sheet that Lincoln has given you and hand it to one of the kids and say, you guys pick one of the songs you want to sing before we pray over dinner.
SPEAKER_00: And you sing a song together in family worship.
SPEAKER_00: Baby steps, small steps in community.
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna talk to one of your friends that you've confessed an area of sin to and say, Here's what I wanna do, sister.
SPEAKER_00: I want to text you and ask for prayer when I start to feel temptation, not after I've given in.
SPEAKER_00: That's a baby step, but it turns the key, it puts me on the path, consistency over intensity.
SPEAKER_00: So confess, ask, build.
SPEAKER_00: L.
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna look to Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: Look to Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: Not merely and only thinking about his victory over sin, death, hell, and Satan, but look to his example of how to live as the empowering force in your life that it's meant to be.
SPEAKER_00: So Hebrews chapter 12 and verse 2 says he's the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
SPEAKER_00: Let me just tell you what that means.
SPEAKER_00: It says, He's the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross.
SPEAKER_00: Now think with me here.
SPEAKER_00: Jesus is looking forward to the cross.
SPEAKER_00: And he's saying the joy set before him.
SPEAKER_00: If I'm looking at that cross, I'm not seeing joy in front of me.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't look joyful.
SPEAKER_00: When I try to show self-control and say no to the ice cream bucket at 10 o'clock at night, saying no to the ice cream doesn't look like joy.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: Or whatever other area you're in.
SPEAKER_00: But what Jesus did and trains us to do is look on the other side.
SPEAKER_00: There's joy on the other side.
SPEAKER_00: There's joy in holiness, there's joy in following Christ, there's joy in saying no to my earthly desires to pursue what matters for eternity.
SPEAKER_00: And as he looked to the other side and the joy there, so I train my eyes to look to the other side and see the joy that's waiting for me there.
SPEAKER_00: Isaiah 53, 7.
SPEAKER_00: Like a sheep before his shears is silent, so he opened not his mouth.
SPEAKER_00: Boy, I feel like I just have to open my mouth and speak all the time.
SPEAKER_00: And if Jesus could stand in the face of unjust opposition, unfair criticism, unfounded accusations, like my impulse is I gotta defend myself.
SPEAKER_00: You're not gonna say that about me.
SPEAKER_00: That's not true.
SPEAKER_00: He says, No, you can show restraint.
SPEAKER_00: You can entrust yourself to the just judge and let him make the judgment about you.
SPEAKER_00: Jesus said to those around him, He said, I've come to do the will of my Father, John 6.48.
SPEAKER_00: And you can similarly look out on your life and say, I have come to do the will of my Father as well.
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I don't, but today I'm choosing to do this, even though there's this other thing, and it looks pretty good to me.
SPEAKER_00: Let's be honest.
SPEAKER_00: But I'm not gonna do that.
SPEAKER_00: So as I'm building small habits, I'm looking to Jesus as his example, as the victor over sin that empowers me and pushes me forward so that I train my eyes to look elsewhere, I train my mouth to be quiet, I train my will to follow him.
SPEAKER_00: And lastly, is E.
SPEAKER_00: It's the last letter, E.
SPEAKER_00: It's expect.
SPEAKER_00: Expect the Spirit to work.
SPEAKER_00: Well, listen, if I could be honest with you, part of like our kind of churches, our tribe of churches, our group of churches, we're not great at expecting the spirit to work.
SPEAKER_00: We'll be a little freaked out by like, you know, is it gonna be charismatic or Pentecostal or something?
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the Holy Spirit is called the forgotten member of the Trinity.
SPEAKER_00: We don't expect the Spirit to work like we ought to.
SPEAKER_00: But it's it's really fascinating.
SPEAKER_00: In John 16, he's he's looking at the disciples.
SPEAKER_00: He says, guys, it's better that I leave so that when I leave, I can send the helper to come alongside you.
SPEAKER_00: But if I don't go, the helper can't go.
SPEAKER_00: Now, if I'm the disciples right there, what am I thinking?
SPEAKER_00: Jesus, you next to me as the greatest teacher ever, the sinless son of God with power to heal the sick, cast out demons, and raise the dead.
SPEAKER_00: I feel like that'd be hard to improve on.
SPEAKER_00: Like, Jesus, I know you're saying you're going somewhere else.
SPEAKER_00: Is it actually better?
SPEAKER_00: Like, I heard one guy say it this week, yeah, your uh your dog dies and Jesus is there.
SPEAKER_00: What's he do?
SPEAKER_00: He raises your dog from the dead.
SPEAKER_00: You've got old yeller back, your cat dies.
SPEAKER_00: What does Jesus do?
SPEAKER_00: He helps you dig a grave.
SPEAKER_00: Some of you said amen.
SPEAKER_00: Look, it would be hard to believe that it's better for Jesus to go away, right?
SPEAKER_00: And yet he says, No, the Spirit is coming as your helper.
SPEAKER_00: And I think so often we're trying to live the Christian life in our own power without expecting the spirit to be working in our midst.
SPEAKER_00: Like what does the apostle Paul say?
SPEAKER_00: He says, I worked harder than anyone, yet it was not I, but the grace of God at work in me.
SPEAKER_00: So he is working hard, you are working hard, expecting the spirit to work within you and strengthen you to come and go and build this self-control that is essential for a God-honoring life.
SPEAKER_00: Park said, Listen to me and look at me here.
SPEAKER_00: When a 10-year-old lacks self-control after a basketball game, we call it being competitive.
SPEAKER_00: When adult men and women habitually lack self-control in their lives, it's a semi loaded down with weight, speeding down a mountain without breaks, on a deadly and destructive path to yourselves and those around you.
SPEAKER_00: Self-control is essential for a God-honoring life.
SPEAKER_00: And I just wonder this morning, like as we're here and we're considering these things, if there is an action step, if there's an act of confession, if there's a moment of prayer that is absolutely essential and needed, because you're like, Justin, I made it to church this morning, but I'm kind of hanging on by a thread right here.
SPEAKER_00: And I can't leave this morning without taking a step, without having someone pray over me.
SPEAKER_00: Like you didn't have to convince me of the urgency.
SPEAKER_00: If you knew my last week, you'd know Justin.
SPEAKER_00: I got two things to say here as we're finishing this up.
SPEAKER_00: Here's the first one.
SPEAKER_00: We're getting ready to go to communion.
SPEAKER_00: And communion in many ways is a tangible reminder of the power of God that can be at work in your life to grow and develop this self-control.
SPEAKER_00: That sin is a defeated foe.
SPEAKER_00: It does not have to have mastery over you.
SPEAKER_00: Communion is also a tangible reminder of the presence of God in our midst.
SPEAKER_00: The Holy Spirit, if you're a Christian working inside of you, that you are not fighting alone.
SPEAKER_00: So as we move into our remembrance and observance of the Lord's Supper, the power and presence of God comes as we celebrate these ordinances.
SPEAKER_00: This one in particular.
SPEAKER_00: And here's the second thing.
SPEAKER_00: Some of you say, Justin, I just wish we could get together and pray right now.
SPEAKER_00: And so that's what I'm going to do.
SPEAKER_00: I'll pray here in a minute over everyone, but I'm just going to hang out over there in the corner.
SPEAKER_00: And you say, Justin, can we just gather and pray right now?
SPEAKER_00: Because I don't think I can go any further without that.
SPEAKER_00: You just come over.
SPEAKER_00: Young, old man, woman, it doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_00: And we're just going to pray over your life where you are right now.
SPEAKER_00: Grab your communion elements.
SPEAKER_00: You can wait for them.
SPEAKER_00: You can not.
SPEAKER_00: I don't care.
SPEAKER_00: Self-control is essential for a God-honoring life.
SPEAKER_00: And we're together as brothers and sisters.
SPEAKER_00: We're going to take a step of obedience as the Spirit calls us.
SPEAKER_00: So let me pray in just a moment.
SPEAKER_00: We'll get started passing the elements once we do.
SPEAKER_00: Here at Parkside with the Lord's Supper, if you have followed Jesus and you've trusted him as your Lord and Savior, you've been baptized and are in good standing at a church, you are free to partake and remember this together.
SPEAKER_00: That means you don't have to be a member at Parkside, is what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_00: But if you're not a Christian or you haven't been baptized, we'd urge you to abstain, hold off, and partake at a later date.
SPEAKER_00: Let me pray for us.
SPEAKER_00: Lord Jesus, we are thankful for your finished work on the cross, for the enabling and empowering work of the Spirit, for daily grace, mercies that are new every morning.
SPEAKER_00: Great is your faithfulness.
SPEAKER_00: And right now, Lord, I pray over brothers and sisters who are wrestling with you and wrestling with themselves.
SPEAKER_00: Lord, I pray you would give them the grace and the strength to take a first step of obedience.
SPEAKER_00: To put these things into practice.
SPEAKER_00: To not merely be hearers of the word, but to do what it says.
SPEAKER_00: Would your grace enable that obedient action in our lives today?
SPEAKER_00: We pray these things in Jesus' name.
SPEAKER_00: Amen.