WEBVTT 00:00:01.199 --> 00:00:05.839 I have a vivid memory as a child having a little tyke's basketball hoop. 00:00:05.919 --> 00:00:09.119 Does anybody else remember having a little tyke's basketball hoop? 00:00:09.439 --> 00:00:10.560 A few of you. 00:00:11.119 --> 00:00:23.280 One of my other very vivid memories is at the ripe age of four years old, the very first time that my dad was able to defeat me in a basketball game on my little Tykes hoop. 00:00:23.440 --> 00:00:33.280 And it may be difficult for you to believe, but upon losing my undefeated streak and losing that first game, I went nuclear. 00:00:34.399 --> 00:00:37.200 Absolute four-year-old meltdown. 00:00:37.439 --> 00:00:46.159 I don't know what kind of training regimen my dad was on the week before to get his jump shot in order, but he must have been training around the clock to take me down. 00:00:46.399 --> 00:00:47.679 And I didn't know how to handle it. 00:00:47.759 --> 00:00:48.479 I'd never lost. 00:00:48.560 --> 00:00:49.600 And I freaked out. 00:00:49.679 --> 00:00:55.359 And you've, you know, any of you can easily remember in your own life or the life of other children what that looks like. 00:00:55.520 --> 00:00:56.799 It was not a good thing. 00:00:57.039 --> 00:01:05.200 Well, I continued on throughout most of my childhood playing sports and learning that sports both reveal character and form character. 00:01:05.439 --> 00:01:12.159 See both of those, and was glad to have people invest in my life at various points along the way. 00:01:12.480 --> 00:01:22.000 But one of the most interesting outbursts that I recall was after a fourth-grade basketball game, I still have a pretty clear picture of the elementary school gym in which we were playing. 00:01:22.159 --> 00:01:29.760 And on the way home, we got to the car, and I, again, had an emotional outburst, just totally out of control. 00:01:30.239 --> 00:01:43.680 And in that moment, in the car, my dad looks over, and I realized right there, maybe I didn't realize right there, I realized looking back on it, that I had the gift of a dad that was proactive in discipleship. 00:01:43.920 --> 00:01:50.480 And he looks at me and he said, Justin, your lack of self-control is a major problem right now. 00:01:50.799 --> 00:01:58.319 And so we're gonna start to memorize Bible verses that have to do with self-control because we have to get this thing reined in. 00:01:58.560 --> 00:02:03.359 And the very first verse that he had me memorize was Proverbs 25, 28. 00:02:03.920 --> 00:02:07.359 Like a city without walls is a man who lacks self-control. 00:02:07.840 --> 00:02:24.319 And we would recite that Bible verse every single game we went to in the car, on the way, and on the way home afterwards, seeking to build this muscle of self-control. 00:02:25.599 --> 00:02:26.719 Now it's interesting. 00:02:26.879 --> 00:02:32.240 I've memorized at this point in my life, as 10 years old, grew up in a church that emphasizes scripture memory. 00:02:32.319 --> 00:02:34.639 I'd probably memorized hundreds of Bible verses at this point. 00:02:34.800 --> 00:02:37.199 Grew up in the Iwana program, some of you did that. 00:02:37.599 --> 00:02:43.520 But this one is the very first one I remember as active spiritual formation in my own life. 00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:50.479 And so for me, Proverbs 25, 28 has been a major anchor passage in my own life. 00:02:51.039 --> 00:03:02.479 If you're new with us at Parkside, we're in the middle of a five-week series called Anchors, where different pastors are preaching on passages that have been a huge anchor in their own spiritual formation. 00:03:02.719 --> 00:03:14.400 Two weeks from today, August 9th, we're gonna kick off a study in the book of Exodus, one of the most epic stories and narratives in all the Bible, in fact, in all the world. 00:03:14.560 --> 00:03:16.719 And I am thrilled to get that kicked off. 00:03:16.879 --> 00:03:19.599 There is a link in your bulletin to get some more information about it. 00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:27.280 There are scripture journals out in the lobby to give you uh some time to start marinating in that, and I am so, so excited for it. 00:03:27.439 --> 00:03:28.719 But we're not there yet. 00:03:28.960 --> 00:03:38.639 Today we're in Proverbs 25, verse 28, this first major verse that I recall in my own spiritual formation. 00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:41.840 And parents, I just want to ask you a question right out of the gate. 00:03:42.400 --> 00:03:51.039 Will your kids remember the Bible verses you are memorizing with them as a part of their active spiritual formation? 00:03:51.520 --> 00:04:11.919 Look, we we understand there's a lot that goes into Sunday morning and the life of the church and perhaps other parachurch ministries, you know, awana programs or Christian schools or things that are investing in the spiritual growth of your kids, but will your kids remember these early steps you're taking to invest in their spiritual growth? 00:04:12.800 --> 00:04:19.600 Perhaps this is a charge to you based on the example of my dad to be a little more active in that formation. 00:04:20.560 --> 00:04:25.759 Listen, as a 10-year-old, I recognized I need to grow in my own self-control. 00:04:25.839 --> 00:04:27.279 This is a weakness in my life. 00:04:27.439 --> 00:04:34.800 But what I didn't recognize was how significant and central self-control would be to the whole human experience. 00:04:35.199 --> 00:04:40.399 And I don't think I realized as a 10-year-old how much the Bible had to say about self-control. 00:04:40.560 --> 00:04:42.079 I mean it is all over the place. 00:04:42.240 --> 00:04:50.160 I was actually a little bit surprised, even in my preparation for this sermon, how many passages it just comes up over and over and over. 00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:56.079 So the main claim of Proverbs 25, 28, and the main thing I want you to hear this morning is simply this. 00:04:56.319 --> 00:05:01.120 Self-control is essential for a God-honoring life. 00:05:01.519 --> 00:05:07.360 Self-control is essential for a God-honoring life. 00:05:08.000 --> 00:05:09.759 And our outline is pretty simple. 00:05:09.839 --> 00:05:13.759 I just want to look at number one, the urgency of self-control. 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:17.360 Number two, the challenges to self-control. 00:05:17.600 --> 00:05:21.120 And number three, the game plan for self-control. 00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:24.560 Urgency, challenges, game plan. 00:05:24.800 --> 00:05:26.560 Urgency of self-control. 00:05:26.720 --> 00:05:28.639 This is actually the first point. 00:05:28.720 --> 00:05:32.399 The urgency is really the main thrust of Proverbs 25, 28. 00:05:32.480 --> 00:05:34.240 Well, look back at your copy of God's word. 00:05:34.480 --> 00:05:36.319 Let me read the passage again to you. 00:05:36.399 --> 00:05:44.319 It says this a man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. 00:05:45.199 --> 00:05:59.920 Now, this is not how we normally think of cities in the 21st century without having a wall, but in the ancient world, having a tall wall, a thick wall, a sturdy wall was the mark of protection. 00:06:00.720 --> 00:06:05.199 It might be today like a bank not having cybersecurity. 00:06:05.519 --> 00:06:10.480 It will quickly be torn down and left in ruins with no one investing their money there. 00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:18.240 Or you imagine in the ancient world, they were not calling in cyber attacks, they were not calling in drone strikes. 00:06:20.560 --> 00:06:24.720 Perhaps there's a catapult throwing items in. 00:06:27.759 --> 00:06:31.680 Was it the Monty Python movie where they're chucking the dead horses over the wall in? 00:06:31.920 --> 00:06:46.560 Like there's all kinds of ways you can think about the ancient world and attacks that are coming, but but the wall is absolutely essential for the welfare of the city, for its social well-being, its economic well-being, its political well-being. 00:06:46.959 --> 00:06:54.240 There is a reason in the book of Nehemiah, when Nehemiah returns to Jerusalem, what is the great urgency? 00:06:54.639 --> 00:07:04.240 Rebuild the wall so that we can worship in peace and have robust social life and build out this city in a way that will honor God. 00:07:04.720 --> 00:07:21.680 If we were to take this principle of the city without its walls and apply it in the 21st century to a similar kind of proverb, you might say a man who lacks self-control is like a loaded semi speeding down a mountain without breaks. 00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:32.639 In other words, it's a dangerous and a deadly path that will bring destruction for you and those around you if you do not have self-control. 00:07:33.680 --> 00:07:39.439 Or you might say self-control is essential for a God-honoring life. 00:07:40.160 --> 00:07:51.439 Now, I told you there were innumerable passages throughout the Bible talking about self-control, and I'm not going to read all of them to you, otherwise, our children's ministry team would be very upset with me. 00:07:51.519 --> 00:07:57.759 But I will give you a few of them just to help highlight the urgency of self-control. 00:07:57.920 --> 00:08:01.279 You might start in Galatians chapter 5 and verse 22. 00:08:01.439 --> 00:08:06.879 The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, self-control. 00:08:07.439 --> 00:08:14.079 In other words, what Paul is saying in Galatians is that self-control is a spiritual issue. 00:08:14.560 --> 00:08:20.720 Perhaps you've thought of it as a personal growth area, a discipline you'd like to develop. 00:08:21.040 --> 00:08:28.240 But have you thought of self-control or the lack of self-control as a sin to be repented of? 00:08:30.079 --> 00:08:32.639 That heightens the urgency level there. 00:08:32.960 --> 00:08:39.759 Other passages, Titus chapter 2 says, older men are to be self-controlled. 00:08:40.639 --> 00:08:52.320 Which is not a excuse clause for the younger men, because just a couple of verses later in Titus chapter 2 it says, likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. 00:08:52.799 --> 00:09:06.720 Which is not an outclause for the ladies either, because in 1 Timothy chapter 2 it says, women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel with modesty and with self-control. 00:09:08.159 --> 00:09:09.679 So it touches everybody. 00:09:09.759 --> 00:09:13.679 It's a spiritual issue, not just a matter of personal growth and development. 00:09:13.919 --> 00:09:17.519 1 Peter chapter 4, Peter even ups the ante a little bit more. 00:09:17.679 --> 00:09:20.799 He says, the end of all things is at hand. 00:09:20.960 --> 00:09:22.720 Therefore be self-controlled. 00:09:22.879 --> 00:09:24.480 1 Peter 4, 7. 00:09:24.960 --> 00:09:26.639 Which is such an interesting lead-in. 00:09:26.879 --> 00:09:28.720 The end of all things is at hand. 00:09:30.879 --> 00:09:32.799 Therefore, be self-controlled. 00:09:33.039 --> 00:09:39.840 It's as if you're looking at a sports team and they say, This is the last two minutes of the game. 00:09:40.000 --> 00:09:42.240 Every single possession matters. 00:09:42.399 --> 00:09:44.639 One turnover could cost us the game. 00:09:44.879 --> 00:09:47.360 Therefore, get locked in. 00:09:47.600 --> 00:09:49.200 The end of all things is at hand. 00:09:49.360 --> 00:09:50.799 Jesus will come back soon. 00:09:50.960 --> 00:09:55.200 Therefore, Christian, be self-controlled. 00:09:55.919 --> 00:09:57.759 There's an urgency here. 00:09:58.559 --> 00:10:15.279 And as if Peter has not raised the urgency enough in his first epistle that I just quoted from, he kicks off his second epistle, 2 Peter chapter 1, and he says this make every effort to supplement your faith with self-control. 00:10:16.000 --> 00:10:33.039 I wonder if you could honestly stand before the God of the universe this week and answer this question Did you make every effort this last seven days to supplement your faith with self-control? 00:10:35.279 --> 00:10:42.399 Peter drives the point a bit further and says, For if these qualities are yours, he lists many alongside self-control. 00:10:42.480 --> 00:10:43.200 I just listed the one. 00:10:43.279 --> 00:10:54.000 He says, If these qualities are yours, and if they are increasing, they will keep you from being ineffective and unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus. 00:10:54.879 --> 00:10:56.879 Okay, quick straw poll. 00:10:57.279 --> 00:11:03.039 How many of you would like to be ineffective and unfruitful in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus? 00:11:03.279 --> 00:11:04.720 I don't see a hand up. 00:11:04.799 --> 00:11:06.159 I'm glad for that. 00:11:06.480 --> 00:11:16.639 Peter says a lack of self-control will keep you from being a lack of self-control will make you ineffective and unfruitful in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus. 00:11:17.120 --> 00:11:24.000 Guys, I don't know how the scriptures could be more obvious in the urgency of developing self-control. 00:11:24.480 --> 00:11:26.399 This is a major thing. 00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:35.759 And not only is there urgency all over the scriptures, self-control is like the foundation for honoring God in every facet of life. 00:11:35.919 --> 00:11:38.320 Just think with me through a couple areas here. 00:11:38.559 --> 00:11:53.919 Self-control is the foundation for honoring God in your body with the food that I eat, with the exercise I pursue, with the sleeping habits that I engage in, with the ways that I resist sexual urges. 00:11:54.480 --> 00:11:55.840 And the list goes on and on. 00:11:56.000 --> 00:12:09.679 Self-control is the foundation for how I honor God in my speech by saying no to gossiping words, crass words, sharp words, self-centered words. 00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:20.799 Self-control is the foundation for honoring God in my finances, where desires for generosity are often squelched by overspending. 00:12:21.600 --> 00:12:26.960 Self-control is the foundation for honoring God in the media that I consume. 00:12:27.279 --> 00:12:34.000 Not only the content that I'm bringing in, but also the amount of time I'm spending on my various devices. 00:12:34.159 --> 00:12:47.519 Self-control is the foundation for honoring God when I have various impulses arising from sadness or anger or joy or excitement or frustration. 00:12:49.039 --> 00:12:56.159 Self-control is the foundation for honoring God when I suffer and I'm in the midst of deep trials. 00:12:56.960 --> 00:13:08.799 Where it's difficult to see the grace of God in my life because circumstances are so difficult, it takes much self-control to train my eyes to see the grace of God. 00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:15.039 Self-control is the foundation for honoring God in every area of life. 00:13:15.200 --> 00:13:20.000 So let me return to the question of 2 Peter chapter 1, brothers and sisters, this past week. 00:13:20.240 --> 00:13:25.519 Did you make every effort to supplement your faith with self-control? 00:13:26.320 --> 00:13:30.879 Because self-control is essential for a God-honoring life. 00:13:31.120 --> 00:13:33.279 It is an absolute necessity. 00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:35.039 It is not optional. 00:13:35.200 --> 00:13:42.559 There is a great urgency to self-control, is what the scriptures would have us learn, understand, consider, and take to heart. 00:13:43.200 --> 00:13:47.039 Now, with sufficient urgency raised, you're like, okay, Justin, I hear you. 00:13:47.200 --> 00:13:48.480 What comes next? 00:13:48.720 --> 00:13:51.759 Let's talk about some challenges to developing self-control. 00:13:51.840 --> 00:13:53.919 This brings us into our second point. 00:13:54.480 --> 00:13:58.720 And the challenges can show up in a variety of life circumstances, right? 00:13:59.039 --> 00:14:04.159 You think about a stressful job that makes it difficult to show self-control in the evenings. 00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:17.120 Perhaps you think of AI-based ads that are just pervasive and they seem to hit you at the weakest moment, and it makes it very difficult to show self-control because they get you like at the worst of times. 00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:23.279 Perhaps you think about inflation in the ways that makes it difficult to show self-control. 00:14:23.519 --> 00:14:32.480 Maybe you've been attacked by a disease or by a person in your life, which makes it very difficult to show self-control. 00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:40.240 Or perhaps your body is breaking down in various ways, which makes it difficult to show self-control. 00:14:40.960 --> 00:14:47.600 Or perhaps your body is strong and beautiful, which in other ways makes it difficult to show self-control. 00:14:48.159 --> 00:14:54.720 You see, there's all kinds of like circumstantial ways that self-control is made complex by the challenges of life. 00:14:54.960 --> 00:14:59.519 But I want to push deeper than these kind of circumstantial kinds of things. 00:14:59.600 --> 00:15:02.639 I want you to look at someone next to you and say, let's go deeper. 00:15:04.320 --> 00:15:05.600 Okay, let's go deeper. 00:15:05.679 --> 00:15:09.039 Let me talk about two deeper challenges to self-control. 00:15:09.200 --> 00:15:12.159 I want to talk about idols and isolation. 00:15:12.399 --> 00:15:13.519 Idols and isolation. 00:15:13.759 --> 00:15:19.600 If we start thinking about idols, I recognize there are idols underneath all of our behaviors. 00:15:19.919 --> 00:15:27.039 Now, if you're newer to church or you haven't been to Parkside before, maybe the idolatry language seems a little bit odd. 00:15:27.120 --> 00:15:32.399 Like, isn't that what they did back in the day, bowing down to sticks and stones and those kinds of things? 00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:37.279 But the Bible talks about idols as things that our heart loves more than anything else. 00:15:37.519 --> 00:15:40.080 They are good things that become ultimate things. 00:15:40.320 --> 00:15:50.879 In fact, in 1 John chapter 5, the very last words of John's letter, he says this, little children, keep yourselves from idols. 00:15:51.679 --> 00:15:53.039 There's a challenge here. 00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:56.720 You might think of idols a bit like a fire while you're grilling. 00:15:56.879 --> 00:16:06.720 You're grilling and you see the flame leaping up, but it matters a lot if it's a grease fire or not underneath the flame as far as how you fight the flame. 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:07.759 Right? 00:16:08.240 --> 00:16:10.799 You see the flame and you think we need water here. 00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:15.759 But if the underneath cause is grease, you don't want the water. 00:16:16.320 --> 00:16:16.960 Right? 00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:18.639 So it is with idols. 00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:23.440 We see the behavior is the flame popping up, and I'm wise to say, what's underneath that? 00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:26.159 How do I fight against these idols? 00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:39.679 Some of the most common idols that we we think about are heart-level idols, things like comfort or the approval of others, or control, or power, or influence. 00:16:41.919 --> 00:16:48.720 And if you don't know which idols you are most prone to, it is very worthwhile to pause and consider. 00:16:48.879 --> 00:16:50.480 It will take a little bit of time. 00:16:50.720 --> 00:16:54.240 I'd urge you to take some time this afternoon, even and consider that. 00:16:54.399 --> 00:17:00.080 But you want to ask yourself as you start to probe your own heart and say, which idols am I more prone to? 00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:01.519 Questions like these. 00:17:02.240 --> 00:17:06.160 Which of these things would really make me happy? 00:17:06.640 --> 00:17:10.880 Which of them would make me truly acceptable in the world? 00:17:11.680 --> 00:17:16.160 You want to ask yourself, what is it that I fear losing the most? 00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:22.400 And you might consider, where are my emotions regularly stirred? 00:17:22.480 --> 00:17:25.119 Where do I get worked up or really upset? 00:17:25.359 --> 00:17:28.160 Those are indicators towards your idols. 00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:34.160 You might ask, where does it make sense to invest time and money the most? 00:17:34.960 --> 00:17:37.839 That can lead me towards the things I'm worshiping. 00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:43.519 You might consider, where does my mind wander when I don't have other things to think about? 00:17:43.920 --> 00:17:48.640 And that starts to lead you down the path to the idols that you may be worshiping. 00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:51.519 So I don't want to live only up at the cloud level here. 00:17:51.599 --> 00:17:54.720 I want to try and get practical and explain what this might look like. 00:17:54.880 --> 00:17:59.440 So you consider someone who might engage in unwise spending. 00:17:59.599 --> 00:18:01.440 Like, why do I keep spending so much? 00:18:01.599 --> 00:18:05.920 Well, on the one hand, you could have a heart-level idol of comfort. 00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:12.720 And there are these things that I want that'll bring me comfort, and I keep spending because if I just had the next thing and the next hit, then I would be happy. 00:18:12.880 --> 00:18:17.440 But at the same time, unwise spending could be tracked to approval. 00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:25.519 And I want the approval of others, and so I spend so they will see me in a certain way, and I would be approved of by them. 00:18:25.599 --> 00:18:32.400 And so addressing the idol underneath the unwise spending is really significant for how you fight that grease fire. 00:18:32.559 --> 00:18:34.240 Well, let me give you another example. 00:18:34.480 --> 00:18:36.480 Perhaps you're prone to worry. 00:18:36.720 --> 00:18:39.039 You're often anxious about many things. 00:18:39.279 --> 00:18:46.240 Well, you ask yourself, am I anxious, am I worrying about losing control of a particular situation? 00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:52.880 Or am I anxious and worrying that I might become irrelevant? 00:18:54.079 --> 00:19:03.920 You see, I'm I'm actually idolizing influence here, and you see that the symptom of worry, but there's a different idol underneath it. 00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:05.279 Let me give you another one. 00:19:05.440 --> 00:19:11.680 You think of someone who's binging a lot of media or food or different things. 00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:19.279 Oftentimes we are trying to numb ourselves to some kind of external reality, but ask, what is it that I'm trying to numb myself to? 00:19:19.519 --> 00:19:23.279 Does life feel so stressful and so out of control? 00:19:24.240 --> 00:19:33.599 Like I'm not in control, I can't get back in control of the pressures of life, and I've idolized control, and therefore I want to numb myself from it? 00:19:33.839 --> 00:19:38.319 Or have I lost the approval of a friend, of a loved one? 00:19:39.200 --> 00:19:48.480 I can't deal with the loss of their approval, and therefore I numb myself to that reality in service of a heart-level idol. 00:19:48.559 --> 00:19:57.680 So you see that there's symptoms we see that could have multiple idols or different idols underneath them that make it difficult to show self-control. 00:19:58.480 --> 00:20:10.559 And if we merely say, show self-control, quit doing that thing, quit doing that thing, quit doing that thing, without addressing the idols underneath, it's like pulling weeds without getting to the root. 00:20:10.799 --> 00:20:20.720 You can snap off the top, and your garden might look a little bit better for a couple of weeks, but the same root issues will persist for a lifetime. 00:20:20.880 --> 00:20:28.079 And so we want to work to uproot the idols of our heart so that we can grow in long-term habits and patterns of self-control. 00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:29.920 Now, I said there were two challenges. 00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:32.079 The one was idols, the other is isolation. 00:20:32.240 --> 00:20:36.319 Look at somebody near you and say, we need each other. 00:20:38.480 --> 00:20:39.680 We need each other. 00:20:39.839 --> 00:20:41.279 We need to go together. 00:20:41.440 --> 00:20:41.680 Right? 00:20:41.759 --> 00:20:46.400 So isolation is a major challenge for showing self-control in this way. 00:20:46.720 --> 00:20:59.839 One of Satan's major challenges, or not challenges, one of his major strategies, excuse me, is to isolate you from other people, especially Christians, to be isolated from each other. 00:20:59.920 --> 00:21:02.640 And this is never God's design. 00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:21.599 Listen, God's intention for the church and for the Christian life is that it's lived in community, not merely attending somewhere on Sunday morning as the performance of a service, but locking arms, life on life, living together in the pursuit of holiness and honoring Christ in every aspect of our life. 00:21:21.759 --> 00:21:35.839 The number one metaphor for the church in the New Testament is that of a family, brothers and sisters in Christ, spiritual fathers, spiritual mothers, spiritual grandparents, deep, intimate, relational connection. 00:21:37.119 --> 00:21:42.400 It's very interesting in the book of 1 Peter, Peter uses the word you in the plural. 00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:46.160 Y'all this, y'all that, y'all go over there, y'all watch out for that. 00:21:46.319 --> 00:21:51.599 And there's one time in 1 Peter where he uses you in the singular. 00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:53.519 1 Peter 5 8. 00:21:53.599 --> 00:21:59.599 He says, Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone. 00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:06.480 To devour the isolated one, the one who's not with the group. 00:22:06.720 --> 00:22:15.519 Anyone who's seen the National Geographic Channel knows that the lions are always pursuing the buffalo with the limp who's behind the herd. 00:22:16.000 --> 00:22:19.359 Satan likewise is hunting you in a similar way. 00:22:20.640 --> 00:22:26.400 And there's all kinds of factors in our world that are bent towards isolating us. 00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:29.039 Our technology isolates us. 00:22:29.519 --> 00:22:34.880 We should stop calling social media social media and call it anti-social media. 00:22:35.119 --> 00:22:37.680 Because it doesn't bring us together. 00:22:38.160 --> 00:22:44.000 There's a deep anti-institutionalism in our culture that isolates us. 00:22:44.640 --> 00:22:50.799 Because what that does, it separates us from a binding community and a covenant together. 00:22:51.039 --> 00:22:55.759 It says, no, I'll just go my own way and I'll split off and do my own thing. 00:22:57.039 --> 00:23:00.079 Our raging schedules isolate us, do they not? 00:23:00.319 --> 00:23:10.160 Where there may be a good desire to be with other brothers and sisters, and yet the demands of the schedule that have gotten out of control keep me from actually being together with others. 00:23:10.480 --> 00:23:18.640 I fit in Lord's Day worship where I can if there's not a conflict with whatever other thing I have going on. 00:23:19.599 --> 00:23:32.720 Listen, this is what I was talking about during announcements at the get-go, but meaningful membership within a local church is one of the great gifts that God has given us in growing in the exercise of self-control. 00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:34.720 Meaningful membership. 00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:40.400 Not your name on a roll, not you regularly show up, but you're meaningfully committed to love one another. 00:23:40.640 --> 00:23:42.079 It starts with that commitment. 00:23:42.240 --> 00:23:47.039 If you're newer to Parkset, I encourage you to come to this class in a couple weeks and start to learn about who we are. 00:23:47.119 --> 00:23:47.920 It starts there. 00:23:48.079 --> 00:23:57.599 But it goes a lot deeper because you can join a church, take a class, stand in front of everybody, make the commitments, and not be living in meaningful membership. 00:23:57.920 --> 00:24:03.440 You can be walking in isolation, even as you're regularly here. 00:24:05.119 --> 00:24:09.279 It means that you know others and you are known by others. 00:24:09.519 --> 00:24:13.039 It means you're gonna get into a Sunday school class or a community group. 00:24:13.200 --> 00:24:23.519 And it means that as you break that group down into smaller groups, you're gonna get together with brothers and sisters to read the word during the week and confess sin and celebrate joys and pray for one another. 00:24:23.680 --> 00:24:26.480 James 5.17, that you may be healed. 00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:29.200 That's what we mean by meaningful membership. 00:24:29.279 --> 00:24:39.119 So you could say, Justin, I've taken the class, my name's on the roll, and you're not walking in meaningful membership, and you are walking practically speaking in isolation. 00:24:39.920 --> 00:24:42.160 Students, can I talk to you for a second here? 00:24:43.200 --> 00:24:53.839 Elementary students or middle school students or high school students, these are critical habits for you guys to build, especially as we step into a new school year. 00:24:54.079 --> 00:25:09.599 You're gonna come back to school, you're gonna come back to your co-op, and you're gonna be finding out that there are people who have made unwise choices during the summer, and you're gonna find there are people who have made very wise choices over the summer. 00:25:10.640 --> 00:25:21.759 And how you choose to walk in discipling relationships with your other classmates will set a big trajectory for your spiritual formation this school year. 00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:25.200 Choose wisely and choose intentionally. 00:25:26.319 --> 00:25:31.519 And kids, I would just say to you, we talk about confessing sin and praying for one another. 00:25:31.680 --> 00:25:36.079 It's really careful that we exercise a degree of caution there. 00:25:36.720 --> 00:25:40.960 We don't want to be confessing sins out to everybody all over the world. 00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:45.920 But if you have one or two close trusted friends, that can be a helpful gift. 00:25:46.079 --> 00:25:51.359 Perhaps it's your discussion group leader or your small group leader in youth group. 00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:54.799 But don't think this is just for the adults. 00:25:54.880 --> 00:25:57.839 These are habits for your own spiritual formation as well. 00:25:59.599 --> 00:26:03.039 So self-control is a matter of high urgency, the scriptures told us. 00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:07.759 And there's a couple of challenges with the idols of our heart and the isolation in which we live. 00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:14.799 But if we're to get past those and get practical on how do I start building habits of self-control, what would that look like? 00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:16.079 I'm glad you asked. 00:26:16.160 --> 00:26:18.079 That's the next thing I have in my notes. 00:26:19.039 --> 00:26:20.720 Game plan for self-control. 00:26:21.119 --> 00:26:23.039 In other words, here's what I'm trying to say in this last point. 00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:27.440 2 Peter 1 said, make every effort to supplement your faith with self-control. 00:26:27.680 --> 00:26:36.319 If we were to take that seriously, like in practical terms, what would it look like to make every effort to supplement our faith with self-control? 00:26:36.799 --> 00:26:40.160 That's what we want to think about here at the end for a minute. 00:26:40.640 --> 00:26:43.519 As we get into this, I'm reminded of something my Uncle Jeff told me. 00:26:43.599 --> 00:26:47.200 My Uncle Jeff was a very successful businessman in the furniture industry. 00:26:47.359 --> 00:26:55.839 And one of his little quotable lines, one of his tweetable tweets before there were tweets or X's or whatever they're called now, he always said this. 00:26:56.000 --> 00:26:59.279 He said, No plan will work unless you do. 00:27:01.440 --> 00:27:05.119 That's worth thinking about as we talk about a game plan for self-control. 00:27:05.440 --> 00:27:08.559 No plan for self-control will work unless you do. 00:27:08.720 --> 00:27:10.640 You're gonna have to exert some effort. 00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:16.640 You're gonna have to get after it here, and it's gonna take some endurance and some perseverance. 00:27:16.799 --> 00:27:25.359 And I recognize it'll be slow at times, it'll be imperfect at times, but it's a path towards growth. 00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:28.880 This past week, my daughter Grace and I went golfing. 00:27:29.519 --> 00:27:32.799 By which I mean I went golfing and she got to come with me. 00:27:33.039 --> 00:27:44.160 And uh she sat in the cart, and I let her drive the cart for a little bit, and we brought the third hole, and it was a straight stretch of cart path, and she drove that cart perfectly down the cart path. 00:27:44.319 --> 00:27:45.119 She crushed it. 00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:46.480 Good job, Grace. 00:27:46.720 --> 00:28:00.400 And then about three or four holes later, we got up, and I was I'd hit the ball well off the cart path, and uh we had chased it down, and she had a chance to drive the cart to the cart path, and she got it over to the cart path, but then we overshot it. 00:28:00.640 --> 00:28:02.960 And then we kind of turned and we overshot it back the other way. 00:28:03.119 --> 00:28:06.319 We turned and we overshot it back the other way, and we got it figured out. 00:28:06.400 --> 00:28:10.480 But we got home, and do you know what we told the rest of the family? 00:28:10.799 --> 00:28:13.279 Grace got to drive the cart today. 00:28:13.759 --> 00:28:19.039 We didn't say, Grace couldn't figure out how to get it on the cart path today. 00:28:19.519 --> 00:28:20.160 Why? 00:28:20.720 --> 00:28:28.960 Because she made real progress and she really grew in her ability to steer that golf cart without getting it perfect. 00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:31.759 So it is in our exercise of self-control. 00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:36.720 Look for real progress, even if imperfect solutions. 00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:38.960 Because it's gonna take time to build these muscles. 00:28:39.119 --> 00:28:45.839 So don't let Satan beat you down because you don't have it totally nailed, but say, how can I make real progress this week? 00:28:46.799 --> 00:28:51.920 As we talk about a game plan, it's important that we have a gospel-shaped game plan. 00:28:52.400 --> 00:28:55.200 There are lots of practical resources that can help you. 00:28:55.359 --> 00:29:01.599 You might read an inspirational book, like Admiral William McGraven has that famous book, Make Your Bed. 00:29:01.759 --> 00:29:03.759 You want to be inspired to run through a brick wall? 00:29:04.000 --> 00:29:05.119 Go read that thing. 00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:12.720 You need some help in how to think about habit formation, go read James Clear's book, Atomic Habits, really helpful stuff. 00:29:13.039 --> 00:29:17.599 But what they're pulling is common grace wisdom that we want to build on. 00:29:18.559 --> 00:29:23.359 But I don't want to just give you a TED talk about something that pop psychology is giving you. 00:29:23.519 --> 00:29:29.599 How do we have an actual gospel-shaped approach to building self-control in our lives? 00:29:29.839 --> 00:29:31.599 Let me give you an acrostic. 00:29:31.759 --> 00:29:32.160 Cable. 00:29:32.480 --> 00:29:36.000 As in cable TV back when we had cable TV. 00:29:37.359 --> 00:29:41.839 C-A-B-L-E, five steps that will help us build a game plan for self-control. 00:29:41.920 --> 00:29:44.000 Number C letter C, cable. 00:29:44.400 --> 00:29:45.119 Confess. 00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:46.400 Confess. 00:29:46.559 --> 00:29:49.599 Confess means to tell the truth to God and others. 00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:59.759 Right out of the gate, if I'm gonna grow in self-control, I need to tell the truth to God and others about where I am in this realm of self-control. 00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:06.640 In other words, like Pastor Joe B Martin says, if you fight the devil in the dark, he's gonna kick your butt. 00:30:06.960 --> 00:30:08.880 You're not supposed to walk in isolation. 00:30:08.960 --> 00:30:12.720 I need to tell the truth to God and others, here's where I'm at. 00:30:13.039 --> 00:30:19.359 And we're not gonna tell the truth in vague generalities, but in specifics. 00:30:19.759 --> 00:30:26.000 It may be something like this as it comes to my speech, I am very weak in showing self-control. 00:30:26.079 --> 00:30:30.400 My words are sharp, and I'm quick to make judgments instead of listening. 00:30:31.279 --> 00:30:43.440 You might say, my sexual urges dominate my brain, and I justify it because I haven't acted on them recently. 00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:47.599 It could be clear in our confession. 00:30:47.759 --> 00:30:52.079 You might say, slothfulness is my hidden sin. 00:30:52.559 --> 00:30:55.759 I don't work as unto the Lord, I work as unto men. 00:30:55.920 --> 00:31:05.039 And I get my work done at my job, I get things done around the house, I'm a reasonable parent or spouse or what have you. 00:31:05.279 --> 00:31:07.279 But I'm not giving everything I got. 00:31:07.359 --> 00:31:11.519 I'm not working as unto the Lord, I'm just doing enough to get the job done. 00:31:12.160 --> 00:31:15.680 There are lazy impulses in my heart that need to die. 00:31:19.759 --> 00:31:28.160 And what you'll soon discover is that if your identity is found in your performance, you'll never be able to truly confess and tell the truth. 00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:30.400 Because you'll need to keep up the appearances. 00:31:30.480 --> 00:31:46.160 But the heart that has received grace, whose identity is in the grace of Jesus Christ, received and not earned, then I'm able to truly be honest and tell the truth to God and others about where I'm at, because that is the foundation of my identity. 00:31:46.400 --> 00:31:47.680 So that's the C, confess. 00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:49.200 The A, ask. 00:31:49.279 --> 00:31:53.680 I'm gonna ask for God's help by claiming the promises of Scripture. 00:31:53.839 --> 00:32:01.519 I'm gonna read Scripture, memorize Scripture, meditate on Scripture, and the things I read, I'm gonna claim those as my own. 00:32:01.680 --> 00:32:12.400 It's as if you're traveling, you get on the airline, and your back gets lost, and you have that little ticket when you go to the Southwest desk, it says, That back is mine. 00:32:12.559 --> 00:32:15.119 See, I have this ticket, I'm claiming it. 00:32:15.359 --> 00:32:23.920 So you get out your Bible and you say, That promise is mine because I've received it by faith, and I'm claiming it and applying it to my heart today. 00:32:24.240 --> 00:32:29.039 So you're gonna look through the scriptures and you're gonna have some passages on speed dial. 00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:30.880 Perhaps it's 1 John 4, 4. 00:32:31.039 --> 00:32:34.000 Greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world. 00:32:34.319 --> 00:32:40.880 I need to realize I have this power, the Spirit of God working inside of me that is greater than any other name. 00:32:41.279 --> 00:32:45.680 Or 1 John 4, 18, perfect love casts out fear. 00:32:45.839 --> 00:32:52.079 Lord Jesus, help me to receive your love as real in my heart that it would cast out the fear that I'm facing. 00:32:52.799 --> 00:32:58.079 Or it's Philippians 2.12, it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. 00:32:58.240 --> 00:33:03.440 So, Lord Jesus, give me the will to work, give me the desire to work, to fight for holiness. 00:33:03.599 --> 00:33:11.359 When I feel like I have no energy and no strength and no desire, I'm claiming this ticket that you said you would work in me. 00:33:11.680 --> 00:33:14.640 Or it's 1 Corinthians chapter 10 and verse 13. 00:33:14.799 --> 00:33:18.640 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. 00:33:19.119 --> 00:33:26.319 But God is faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but with every temptation will provide a way out that you may stand up under it. 00:33:26.559 --> 00:33:27.680 I don't see the way out. 00:33:27.759 --> 00:33:28.960 God help me see the way out. 00:33:29.039 --> 00:33:30.799 You promised there'd be a way out. 00:33:30.960 --> 00:33:37.119 I'm claiming that ticket right here as I seek to build self-control in this area of sin in my life. 00:33:38.880 --> 00:33:40.880 Maybe it's Romans chapter 8 and verse 1. 00:33:40.960 --> 00:33:44.720 There's therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 00:33:45.119 --> 00:33:49.839 I'm fighting this battle to actually believe the truth of the gospel in my own heart. 00:33:50.240 --> 00:33:58.559 Because the guilt and the shame are thick, and I'm trying to go back to the truth of the gospel, and it takes self-control, and I need to preach the gospel to myself this week. 00:34:01.279 --> 00:34:02.079 You ask. 00:34:02.240 --> 00:34:08.639 You ask for God's help by claiming his promises in Scripture, saying, This ticket is mine and it's been received by faith. 00:34:08.880 --> 00:34:09.519 C-A-B. 00:34:09.679 --> 00:34:10.239 What's the B? 00:34:10.320 --> 00:34:11.119 It's build. 00:34:11.360 --> 00:34:14.159 Build small habits in community. 00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:18.159 We know that small habits tend to grow into bigger habits. 00:34:18.639 --> 00:34:24.000 And when it comes to habit formation, consistency always beats intensity. 00:34:24.800 --> 00:34:27.519 So build small habits, build them in community. 00:34:27.679 --> 00:34:30.400 My tendency is to try to go big right out of the gate. 00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:39.440 Like, you should imagine, like, you know, I've taken a couple months off from brushing my teeth, and um, just kidding, I've been taking a couple months off from brushing my teeth. 00:34:39.519 --> 00:34:40.800 I found out who was awake there. 00:34:41.039 --> 00:34:49.599 But if I had, strange thought, you know what, I'm gonna brush three times a day, floss twice a day, and use mouthwash twice a day. 00:34:49.840 --> 00:34:56.079 It's like, man, buddy, if you've gone a couple months without brushing, why don't we just make that a like a bedtime rhythm? 00:34:56.400 --> 00:34:59.599 Start with once a day and build from there. 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:00.320 Right? 00:35:00.480 --> 00:35:04.639 Okay, now that's a s boy, somebody needed to hear that message. 00:35:04.960 --> 00:35:06.800 No hands, no hands, I promise. 00:35:06.960 --> 00:35:11.679 Um, what does it look like to build more small habits in community? 00:35:12.800 --> 00:35:19.039 It's not getting up at four in the morning and doing two workouts and eating 48 grams of protein for breakfast. 00:35:19.199 --> 00:35:25.760 It's setting your alarm 15 minutes earlier so that you can read the Lord's Prayer and meditate on it before you're out the door. 00:35:26.000 --> 00:35:30.079 And ask a friend if they would text you in the afternoon to see how it went. 00:35:31.119 --> 00:35:34.159 It's not fixing your entire diet. 00:35:34.800 --> 00:35:39.039 It's saying, you know what, I'm gonna not drink calories this week. 00:35:39.199 --> 00:35:42.159 I'm gonna take a baby step in fixing that element. 00:35:42.800 --> 00:35:48.639 In family discipleship, dads, we're not asking you to preach a seven-point sermon. 00:35:48.960 --> 00:35:59.440 We're saying when you leave today, take the song sheet that Lincoln has given you and hand it to one of the kids and say, you guys pick one of the songs you want to sing before we pray over dinner. 00:35:59.599 --> 00:36:02.719 And you sing a song together in family worship. 00:36:03.039 --> 00:36:06.400 Baby steps, small steps in community. 00:36:06.719 --> 00:36:13.119 You're gonna talk to one of your friends that you've confessed an area of sin to and say, Here's what I wanna do, sister. 00:36:13.360 --> 00:36:20.079 I want to text you and ask for prayer when I start to feel temptation, not after I've given in. 00:36:20.639 --> 00:36:26.880 That's a baby step, but it turns the key, it puts me on the path, consistency over intensity. 00:36:27.119 --> 00:36:29.920 So confess, ask, build. 00:36:30.079 --> 00:36:30.320 L. 00:36:30.719 --> 00:36:32.559 You're gonna look to Jesus. 00:36:32.960 --> 00:36:34.320 Look to Jesus. 00:36:34.639 --> 00:36:47.599 Not merely and only thinking about his victory over sin, death, hell, and Satan, but look to his example of how to live as the empowering force in your life that it's meant to be. 00:36:47.840 --> 00:36:58.159 So Hebrews chapter 12 and verse 2 says he's the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 00:36:58.400 --> 00:36:59.840 Let me just tell you what that means. 00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:07.199 It says, He's the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross. 00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:09.599 Now think with me here. 00:37:09.920 --> 00:37:12.800 Jesus is looking forward to the cross. 00:37:13.119 --> 00:37:15.760