14. How One Home Birth Led to a Georgia Birth Freedom Movement | Lainey Stancil, Founder of Peach State Birth Coalition

In this episode, I’m joined by Lainey Stancil, founder of the Peach State Birth Coalition, a Georgia-based nonprofit focused on maternal health education, community support, and birth freedom.

Lainey shares the story of how her own birth experience completely changed the direction of her life. After feeling dismissed by a provider during pregnancy, she switched to midwifery care and planned a home birth...an experience that ultimately led her to start a nonprofit advocating for maternal health education and midwife access across Georgia.

We talk about:

• The moment Lainey realized her provider wasn’t listening
 • How midwifery care changed her experience of pregnancy and birth
 • The difference between hospital-based midwives and direct-entry midwives
 • Why midwife licensure matters for access to care in Georgia
 • The connection between surrender, trust, and physiological birth
 • How one mom’s birth grew into a statewide birth nonprofit organization

Lainey also shares the story of her water birth and the mindset that helped her navigate labor with confidence and peace.

Whether you are exploring home birth, curious about midwifery care, or passionate about improving maternal health in your community, this conversation offers an encouraging look at how one experience can grow into something much bigger.

Lainey is also hosting the Peach State Birth Expo, a family-friendly event connecting expecting families with birth professionals and maternal health resources. Tickets and vendor information can be found through the Peach State Birth Coalition website.

If you are interested in Lainey's birth doula services, check out her website here.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

You're listening to Rise, a Christian birth podcast for encouragement, education, and biblical truth for birth without fear. I'm your host, Mana, childbirth educator, dua, and mom of three, here to help you rise above fear and prepare for a faith-filled birth. I am so excited today to welcome Lainey Stancil to the Rise podcast. We are so excited to have you. Tell us a little bit about yourself and how you got started in birth work.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

Yeah, so I um it's kind of like a crazy little journey that I had. I really had no idea that birth work was even um, not that it wasn't a thing, but like I didn't really know how to get into it until I had my son. And so having I had him and then kind of got integrated into the midwifery world because I had a home birth, and through that I created a nonprofit, and everybody kept asking me if I was a doula, and I was like, no, and they were like, Well, why not? And I was like, I don't know, why not? So I kind of have just like the doors have just opened for me to kind of land where I am now, running a nonprofit here in Georgia, and then also being a birth worker um as a doula here um in my area um as well. So it's kind of been a crazy journey.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Awesome. So tell us about the nonprofit. What is that?

SPEAKER_00 1:42

Yes. The nonprofit is called Peach State Birth Coalition, and we are a Georgia-based nonprofit, and our focus is on maternal health education, birth education. And we love we kind of use that to foster community for moms. We do a lot of events like mommy meetups, coffee meetups, and our largest event, which is our birth expo. And then we also are big on advocating for maternal health policies such as the Midwifery Licensure Bill that is currently in the House of Representatives right now. Um so it's kind of um like a little brainchild of mine um that I kind of didn't even know I had, that just um has blossomed and grown into a full-blown organization, which is crazy to me.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

Wow, yeah, it has. It has grown so much. I know um I was very blessed to attend the expo. I got to go last year, and there's already a lot of hype about this year. So uh that's really cool. I'm really looking forward to that and just meeting even more amazing birth workers and more people in the community who will be served by everything that you're doing. So that's really, really cool. I'd love to hear about, you know, what what was it that introduced you to midwifery and what did midwifery care mean to you that then spurred you on to do all these things?

SPEAKER_00 3:13

But all really started because I was pregnant with my son and I went to my 24-week appointment and I wanted to talk about my birth plan with my provider, and I was not seeing a midwife at this point, I was seeing an OB. And I asked if we could talk about my birth plan, and she kind of like chuckled and was like, that's not really needed. And I was like, Excuse me, it is, it's very much needed. Um, and not because like I wanted like something crazy, but like just because I was a first-time mom. Like, I wanted to express like my concerns and kind of hear what she had to say, but she didn't really seem like so interested in talking about it, and then before she walked out of the room, she was like, It's fine, you don't really need it because all of those things that you guys ask for, we already do. And I was like, I don't know who you guys is because I'm me. And I just wanted to talk about like my birth, so I just felt like really dismissed when I left. And I called my husband, and I was like, I just I don't have a good feeling, like I just this is not the path that I want to go. And like jokingly, he was like, Well, why don't you just have him at home? and I was like, I mean, like I've always wanted to do that, but like I don't know how to like actually do that. Like, how do you do that? And which I feel like is a lot of people's question when they're like, Oh, I like home birth sounds cool, I'd love to do that, but like, how do you actually do that? So I came home and had some family friends who had had home births, and so I reached out to them, and one of my husband's family friends, she actually had a midwife who she was like, Let me reach out to my midwife and see if she has any availability, considering you're already like more than halfway done with your pregnancy. And I was just like, There's no way, like, there's no way there's gonna be a midwife that has a spot open for me. And so I kind of just went to bed that night thinking, like, more than likely this isn't gonna happen, but if it's meant to be, there this midwife will have a spot for me. And lo and behold, she had one spot for February, and I was like, okay, like that's all I needed to know. Like, I'm gonna go in this like head first, no floaties, I'm jumping in this pool. I went to my first appointment with her at 28 weeks, and it was just like I felt like I was mind blown. Like, I didn't even know how to react because it went from somebody dismissing me and not really caring about what I was planning for my birth to somebody who literally sat down with me for an hour just out of the consultation and was wanting to learn every little bit about me and my pregnancy and my baby and my family and the way that my body moves and all these different things that she just paid attention to that felt like her touch was kind of on every piece of it rather than it being like, pop in, you don't really need that, pop out. I was kind of blown away just by that first visit, and then kind of was continued to just felt that way through the rest of my visits with her, and then on the day of of my birth, I was like shocked again at just like the presence that like the midwives had in the room and just like the peace that that brought me instead of when I had been in the room with at that point I wasn't a doula, I had only been in the room with like friends of mine who had had birth and in the hospital and things like that, and it just felt so different. Like, even though I had like no real I wasn't necessarily paying so much attention back then, but it still felt like this like sterile environment, and then this was like this really like comforting environment that just felt just felt right for me. I know not everybody's into home birth, but it's what felt right to me. So I kind of I had I had like a really great birth experience and kind of kept up with my midwife afterwards, like a lot of people do. And I think it was like the October after I had my son. My midwife does like a picnic for all of the babies that were born that year. And a lot of them are babies in the past too, because multiples and things, you know. But she does like this picnic, and so all the parents come, all the babies come, she makes everybody t-shirts, so we all get little matching t-shirts, and her husband cooks barbecue, and we all just like have a picnic in the park and eat food and and chat with each other. And so she kind of started talking a little bit more about like the midwife licensure stuff, and she did mention something at my very first appointment with her, but I was not really like I didn't really comprehend what she was talking about, and it really didn't matter to me. I just was like, I don't care who you are, I want you because you're amazing. And so then at the at the picnic, I kind of you know started to learn a little bit more, and I was like, okay, like I'm not really sure like what all of this means, but like I definitely felt like I want to learn more because I was very intrigued by it all. And then after that, I saw that she was doing like a it was like a just Zoom drop-in type meeting where she was just asking all of her previous clients and current clients if they wanted to hop on and just learn more about like the licensure stuff. And I think I was probably like nine, ten months postpartum and still kind of in like I I had stopped working, so I was just at home with the baby all the time, and I kind of was thinking that like I want like I wanted to do something. Like I feel like all moms like we want to do something outside of being in the home, but like aren't really sure what that thing is or how it fits into your life. And so I went to the little meeting and she was kind of just talking more about like the licensure stuff and what they were doing and what the midwives were doing, and she was like, it'd be really cool if we had somebody who wanted to like start a consumer group and kind of get like the show the awareness of like midwives can obviously fight for themselves in terms of what they need, but if there aren't people out here saying we want them, then it doesn't show people that like there's a need for them, and so she was just kind of talking more about it, and the more that she was talking, like the more I just felt like there was like a fire lit underneath me, and I was like, I don't know what is possessing me right now to like come off a mute and like be like, I don't know what I need to do, but like I want to be involved in this, and so I did that. I literally left that meeting and didn't really know exactly what I was even signing up for or like wanting to get involved in or or what that meant or how it looked, but I literally went to bed with my husband and laid down and was like, I don't know what I just signed up for or got myself into, but like I just feel like it's it's what's right, and he was like, Okay. So I was like, sweet, we'll just we'll see where this goes. So I ended up kind of going with with one of the like some of the midwives who kind of helped me kind of begin the beginning curation of Peach State Birth Coalition, and they kind of like guided me in like, okay, like if you want to become a 501c3, these are like the forms you have to do, and you know, if we need to do an event to raise money. So like they they were like think of events, that's where the birth expo kind of came from. They just kind of like help kind of guided me as I went, and then it kind of just like took off. Like I was like, I'm just gonna start posting on Instagram and just talking about like the maternal health climate in Georgia and like talking about midwives, talking about doulas, talking about home birth, hospital birth, uh birth in general, and just see if anybody's even interested. And it just kind of like blossomed and blossomed and blossomed, and it just seemed like doors kept opening to bigger opportunities or collaborations or people who wanted to mentor me. I I have like a non-profit leadership mentor now that like helps me with, you know, just all those questions that all the many questions I have because I have absolutely no background in the nonprofit world in managing even. So I'm like, now I have an entire board that you know I I am not necessarily it's not like I'm in charge of them, but like I feel like they're my responsibility and I have to, you know, make sure that they know what's going on. So it it kind of has just it started as like this tiny little seed, and it's like growing into this huge flower, which is so cool. So it's really exciting.

SPEAKER_01 12:56

That is so amazing just to hear how all started with really an ob who kind of wasn't listening to you, and then one thing just led to the next thing, and before you know it, you're doing all these things that you never even like what two years ago were not expecting to be ever doing anything like this, and now it's really growing and making change.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

It's pretty crazy because two years ago, almost exactly, I was a state farm insurance agent. Wow, so yeah, that's a huge uh pivot. Yeah, so I do have some background in the healthcare field. I did go to school to be a medical assistant and I worked as a medical assistant for a few years, but then I left that. I didn't want to go back to school to be a nurse because I had tried to do that and and I just didn't want to go back to school. So I ended up getting a job at State Farm and becoming an insurance agent. So literally two years ago, before I worked all the way up until the day I went into labor with my son. So I was just sitting in State Farm, and I never ever would have guessed that this is where I would be two years later.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

How fast things can change. That's so cool. And yeah, like that, I feel like I've heard so many stories like that about birth plans or like dismissive attitudes at prenatal appointments, you know, your your five-minute appointment where you've sit in the waiting room for three times as long as you actually get to see anybody. So I I've given birth in the hospital once with the normal OBGYN care throughout that whole pregnancy, and then I've had two home births. And I remember after the consultation with the home birth midwife, like the very first time I ever spoke with her, I told my husband, you could add up all of the time that I ever spent accumulatively with an actual provider at all of my prenatal appointments for my first pregnancy, and it would be less than I spent in the free consultation phone call with the home birth midwife. And she was exactly like what you just described. Like, she talked to me about nutrition, she talked to me about exercise and my posture and my mental health and stressful things that were going on in my life, and how's my family, and like how you know, how are we gonna get your older child prepared to welcome a new sibling? That was never gonna be discussed in an OBGYN typical prenatal appointment. So, yeah, just like you, I was blown away, and yeah, I'm with free care honestly changed my life. And I know so many people who feel the same way that just the the difference in the care and the attentiveness and the relationship that is built truly does touch you at a deeper level and change your life in a way that goes beyond just what actually happens on the day that you give birth.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

Right. Even if it doesn't end up with you becoming a birth worker or starting a whole organization. Yeah, like I mean, I have I I've met so many moms through this that yeah, like they, you know, they didn't become a birth worker or start a whole organization or you know, any of those things, but still like just the care that they received, like, changed their outcomes just in the way that their birth story happened or the way that they feel about themselves after birth and comparative to if they had a hospital birth or not. Um, and I mean, and that doesn't mean that there aren't great stories in the hospital either. Like, I've I have had people tell me about their their hospital births that have been amazing, which I think is possible sometimes. It's just going to be a lot harder to achieve. Just that the care is just different. Um, and maybe not the outcomes. There's obviously outcomes in the hospital and the birth center and at and at home that you know are good or bad. But I feel like it's the care that you get through, even the good or the bad, that makes the difference.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

Absolutely. And like I at this point in my life, I think it's probably safe to say I'm a little bit biased and I lean more towards like I, you know, if I get pregnant again, I will absolutely be planning a home birth again. So there's that. Also, like in general, what all of this is really about and like the licensure and peach state birth coalition, it's really about having the choice. It's not about like home birth is so much better than hospital birth 100% of the time. It's about access and making sure that people have options and that a pregnant mom can choose. Does she want kind of the conventional go to the OBGYN during your pregnancy and plan a hospital birth and then go to the hospital when you're in labor? Or does she want to have a birth at home with a trained professional licensed midwife and where all that licensure stuff comes in? So for somebody who like has no idea about any of this stuff and how it all works and isn't familiar with the the laws and everything in the state of Georgia, can you kind of explain in simple terms what what is it that we're talking about when we talk about midwifery licensure?

SPEAKER_00 18:20

Yeah, so um so here in the state of Georgia, we have um we have nurse midwives who are licensed. So a lot of people when when we say like, oh well midwives aren't licensed here in the state, they're like, Yeah, they are. I saw a midwife, and I'm like, you saw a midwife in the hospital. And not saying that they're not a midwife, but that's only one of the many types of midwives. Um, so nurse midwives are going to be the midwives that work with OBs in the hospital. They are at the OB office, and you get the choice to either see them or an OB. And then there are certified professional midwives, and then there are traditional midwives, and specifically the bill that we're kind of advocating for that Georgia NACPM is working on, is they're using the terminology of direct entry midwives, which just means a midwife who goes direct into the midwifery track. Whereas like the nurse midwives, they go through nursing school and then midwifery school. And so basically, when we're talking about the midwives being licensed, we're talking about any of the midwives who are not nurse midwives. The direct entry midwives have the ability to practice like on their own, they don't have to be under like an OB or any of that, like the nurse midwives do. So with them not having the licensure, it makes access to them really, really hard because they risk getting in trouble. And people like me or like you, who our choice is that we would like to have a home birth, I've never given birth in a hospital. So for me, like that just seems foreign. Like I and the same way that like somebody who's only ever given birth in the hospital, it sounds crazy to them that I would give birth at home. But to me, like it, I like I I don't feel comfortable any other way. Uh, and so for us who would like to have home birth and with a trained midwife, it becomes very difficult because it's hard to find the midwives, they can't really market themselves, so it's kind of like you gotta find them through the grapevine, and then there's not a lot of them because they're moving to other states where they are licensed, or they're just not practicing anymore because it's scary to practice when your livelihood could be taken from you at any moment. And so then that makes the access to them become smaller and smaller, but the need for them is growing bigger and bigger because there's a lot of people that are kind of opening up to the idea of home birth or exploring the idea of home birth, but then a lot of moms can't find a midwife, so then their you know, their only option is to either go to the hospital or to attempt free birthing. So when we kind of talk about like the midwife licensure, we mean specifically for midwives who are not a nurse midwife. It can get super complicated sometimes, even like the bill itself. I mean, you can go read it, it's it's online. Um, it's intense. It is like a lot of I feel like people just get confused. I mean, a lot a lot of people, and that's why a big thing with Peach Day is like not only birth education, but maternal health education. Because like a a lot of moms or women in general are just not as familiar with all things maternal health or even all things about their body. Not that anybody should be ashamed to ever ask any questions about like anything, whether it's pregnancy or just your body in general, like women's bodies are very complex. Hormones are Are so there the way that everything works in our bodies is crazy. And for me, and probably you too being in birth work, like it's just second nature to us. Like when something happens, I think about it in like the scientific way of how it all works. And then when a client texts me and they're like, oh my god, this is happening, and I'm like, Oh, it's just this. But like they don't know. So, so it's hard sometimes, um, when like you think that way to then like explain it to somebody and be like, This is what's going on with your body, and it's really not that scary, or you know, this is how pregnancy works, and like, isn't that really cool? And most of the times they are like, Whoa, like, I didn't know that. Like, yeah, it's really cool actually, but I'm like such a birth nerd. So like I will I will sometimes like over-explain, I feel like, what to my clients like, did you know that your body can actually do this? And this is actually what your hormones are doing right now, and blah blah blah blah, like all these things, and then they're like, okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

I definitely relate to that. I have to tell all my clients, like at the beginning of every session, like, please slow me down if I am just going 100 miles an hour and and like you're stuck on a word I said that you've never even heard before. Like, I don't expect you to actually know everything, but I I just get so excited.

SPEAKER_00 23:27

Yes, talking about how cool it all is. Same. I get like a little um like I get so like excited, I'm like telling them all these things, and then I have like one of my one of my friends, she was just like, I don't I don't need to know that much. And I'm like, oh sorry. Like, I got excited, I wanted to tell you all the things. I'm like, there's no TMI with me. Like, I'm like, let's talk about it, let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

Right. Like, I don't get squeamish for anything anymore, and I have to remind myself that other people do, other people still do, yes. They don't and not everybody wants to hear about all of the different bodily functions and fluids and all the things, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

Yeah, be one being my husband. He's like, Don't ask her what she does for work, don't ask her, and like, of course, that's what everybody asks, and then I like go go down the rabbit hole, and he's like, shouldn't have asked.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

That's so funny.

SPEAKER_00 24:25

Because he is very squeamish. He's like, I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear it.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

So, how did he do with the home birth?

SPEAKER_00 24:31

So surprising, he did amazing. Like, he did um at like the very end with like when I was pushing and like it was just very intense. He did have a moment where, like, obviously afterwards, I had no idea that he even stepped away, but he like had to step away to just like catch his breath. But he was like, it was like so intense seeing you like in pain and it like and there was nothing I could do, and like so well really wasn't so much that he was like squeamish or anything about it, which I was very shocked. Like, everybody was prepared for him to pass out. So I think he was even prepared to pass out, but he really shocked me. He was actually like he was supposed to catch our son, but I did not realize that the push that I was pushing, like I didn't realize he was gonna come out on that push, and nobody else did, so like nobody was really prepared, and I just kind of like grabbed him up. And my husband was like in the water, like ready, and he was like, I got in that nasty water to grab him, and you didn't even let me grab him. I was like, Well, guess you'll have to wait for the next one.

SPEAKER_01 25:37

I got dirty for no reason. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

I know I was like, sorry, but then even afterwards, I thought he was gonna be grossed out by like the vernix and everything on him, and I kept telling him, I was like, I promise you, wait until you smell them. Like, fresh babies smell so good. And he was literally like, That's disgusting, like they're so gross looking, I don't want to even like like I'm scared to touch him. And I was like, No, I promise you, when it's your baby, it's gonna be different. And like he was all chest to chest, he was sniffing his head, he was like, Why does he smell so good?

SPEAKER_02 26:10

I love it.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

I told you, and even now, like we want to have more kids. And he was like, he was like, Oh, I just want to have another baby, I want to smell another baby, and I was like, You're ruined, you're ruined now.

SPEAKER_01 26:22

It's intoxicate, like something about those hormones or something, like something about the the design, yeah, it really hooks you, like it just pulls you in, and it's it's definitely it is made that way on purpose.

unknown 26:39

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 26:40

The same way that the pain goes away, or the same way that you like forget it all. But honestly, I don't I don't really I feel like I don't forget anything from my birth. And like, I mean, I thankfully had a very great birth experience. I mean, it wasn't I didn't have like a crazy long birth, but it also wasn't like too crazy short. I mean, for a first-time mom, it was probably a lot shorter than most. Um, but I'm like, I just feel like it was like probably like the most addicting thing I've ever done. Like I was How long was it? Um, so I so I'm not a hundred percent sure like when I started like early labor because we were at church on Sunday morning and I remember my back hurting, but like I don't like it wasn't like anything abnormal, like from the you know, the last few weeks. Um, and I was 39 weeks, so I I knew that like it would be starting at some point, but like it wasn't anything like big or crazy, and so we asked our pastor to pray with us um because we're having a home birth and like we just wanted to to feel good going into it, and then um afterwards my husband plays pickleball, so we went to the pickleball courts and I didn't play, but I was just kind of like walking, and I remember like my back hurting and kind of leaning over, and so that was like all day, like Sunday. Um, and then Sunday night we watched a movie, and the movie didn't end until like 11:30 or something like that. And we were just watching the movie and I wasn't paying any attention, and then I was like, oh my gosh, like we need to go to bed, we gotta go to work in the morning. And when we turned the TV off, I rolled over, and then I realized that I could feel like a squeeze and a release, and then it would like be a couple minutes and then a squeeze and a release, and I like sat there and probably had at least like five to ten of them because I was just like I was like my belly kind of hurts, you know. Like I don't really know what this is, like, you know, I was just like, oh, like just some cramps or whatever. Like, I don't know what I was thinking, and then I rolled over and I was like, I'm having like some cramps, and he was like, Okay, and I was like, but they're like kind of like they keep like coming and going, and he was like, Okay, and I was like, Do you think that it's like contractions? And he was like, I don't know. And I was like, maybe I should time them and like see if they're coming consistently, and he was like, Okay, go for it, and so I started timing them, and they were like anywhere from like five to seven minutes apart, and I was like, maybe I should just call like my midwife and my doolag and like just see what they say. And they told me to get in the bath and like see if they calm down and then give them a call in like an hour. So I like that's I did that, they didn't calm down, but I was still able to talk through them. So I don't like I don't know if early labor started as early as Sunday morning, like when we were at church and stuff, and like I just paid no attention to it until midnight, but then midnight was like when I actually was like, I think I'm in labor. And then I had him Monday at two o'clock, uh yeah, two p.m.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

Okay, wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:53

It wasn't really that long. I mean, like the the part that I realized I was actually in labor, at least like active, yeah, established labor, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:02

Yeah, interesting.

SPEAKER_00 30:04

Um, and that's what like I I I wonder, like with our next baby, like, will I like will I notice it more because I know what I'm looking for? Like, I truly had no idea what I was looking for, so I was just like, I don't know, I'm just gonna go to work. My alarm went off and everything, like in the middle of my labor, my alarm went off, and I was like, Oh, can somebody please call my boss and tell him I'm not coming in today?

SPEAKER_01 30:28

So, did it ever get to a point? I mean, uh hearing you describe all of that, it sounds like at least for most of early labor, it wasn't crazy painful or intense or anything like that. Did it get to a point where you were more like, okay, this is hard, this is intense, this is like legit. I feel it now.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Yeah, or was it so smooth sailing the whole time? Uh so it did get to like an intense part. Um, I think that like truly I don't I I like I I'm I want to give myself the credit and say that like I I'm strong or whatever, but then I just don't I don't know why, but like I just don't feel like I'm all the credit in a way. I don't know how that's possible, but like truly I I just surrendered so much during my birth. Like, and I'm like I am not uh I'm a very like control freak. Like I do not give over control to anything, but like with my birth and and really like my pregnancy as a whole because we dealt with a lot of infertility issues, like I was just like, I am surrendering all of this. I actually right before I found out I was pregnant, we were going through all this fertility stuff, and I ended up getting baptized, and so I was like, okay, I I just I don't I don't have it in me. Like I don't have it in me to to deal with all of this, and so I I just was like, I'm just gonna surrender it all. And I feel like that's what really got me through it. Um and just like I I literally it did get to like an intense um an intense place. Also, I did a water birth, and I will say, water is like magic, at least for me. Like, I don't know if that's like everybody's experience or not, but I I remember it being fairly intense. My doula was honestly so good about like she didn't even have to like speak to me, like she would just like lay her hands on my shoulders or like you know, like relax my hands, and like I just kind of like I'm a very like internal person when I'm in pain too, so like I just kind of like turn in and like was super focused from the very beginning, even and I remember when my midwife did get there, I did have her check me because I was just nervous, like as a first-time mom, like I know that you can be in labor for like hours, um, even 24 hours or more. So I was like nervous about that, and I wanted like them to know like where I was. So I asked if she would check me, but not tell me how many centimeters dilated or how a faced or anything. Like, I was like, I don't want to know any of it. I was like, I just want like you to have that knowledge, just in terms of like the birth and everything. And she was like, Okay. And I remember when she checked me, she did say, Oh, I feel your baby's head, which that should have, you know, made sense to me that like I must have been far along. But to me at that point, if I would have guessed how far along I was in terms of dilation, I would have guessed like maybe a three centimeters, like in in terms of pain. And afterwards, she told me I was seven. So that was like pretty shocking to me. Like, I was like, really? But I also feel like it was the fact that like I was in my bed, like I I was literally sitting in my bed eating blueberries, like with my dog. So like I wasn't stressed at all, I was just chilling. And I feel like that now knowing what I know as a birth worker, like I was in my place, and like they did come in to my like, you know, people were coming into my space, and I do think that in in some ways the people being there did kind of prolong things because after they got there is when I got in the water, and it did seem like it kind of took a like a while to actually get to like pushing. Cause I think I got in the water, um, probably I don't know, maybe around like 9 a.m. whatever I think they got there between like seven and eight. So like maybe by nine I was in the water, and then I was in the water until I had him. So like I feel like that time like that period was kind of long, but I know like getting in the water can slow it down, and then like the midwife showed up and and my mom had gotten there, and so like things like that. So I don't know if that kind of slowed things down because it was like taking me out. Um, but it did get really I feel like the most intense part for me was they made me get out of the water because my water wasn't breaking, and so they made me get out of the water and get on the toilet, and that was like that was the only time where I was like, and I only did two contractions there and then my water broke, thank god, because I was like, this is too much. But but at that point, like that like literally my water broke, and then I got back in the tub and pushed him out. So I was at the end, and like I don't know if I ever said like I couldn't do this or anything. I think it was more like I was just tired, like I just kept saying, I'm just so tired. And then obviously, like the pushing in the ring of fire was pretty intense, but outside of that, it really wasn't what I was thinking it was gonna be. Like it wasn't what is portrayed in movies and on TV, it was a something totally different, and it there honestly was like like a peace part of it. Like I just felt really peaceful, even through even though it was painful, it it did just feel really peaceful, and I had like low music in the background, we had worship music going, and like so everybody was really good about keeping like the space really quiet, and we had like our little twinkly lights and everything so that they could see, but it was just like it was literally in my bedroom, so like I I never left my bedroom.

SPEAKER_01 36:37

Wow, I got chills hearing you talk about surrendering. So there will be pregnant women listening to this who are right now trying to think through what they want for their birth and what their preferences might be and how to prepare. Can you explain a little bit more about the connection between why why did it matter that you had that posture of surrender emotionally or spiritually? Like, why would that affect how you actually felt in labor physically?

SPEAKER_00 37:09

Um, I feel like um just in in terms of like birth in general, like the way that we're able to go through natural physiological birth, like getting out of that thinking brain and fully into like that primal brain. Um, I feel like I am such an overthinker. Like I am that ultra-type A, super organized, a list for everything, a plan for everything. And I just knew that like that is not what is going like you can't plan, you can plan for labor and and birth, but like you can't plan every nitty-gritty detail. And I knew that like if I just surrendered everything, my mind, my body, like my body would know what to do, and I could just like I just needed to fully check out, um, and and like leave it all in the hands of God. And so I I feel like doing that, I feel like it made a difference in in the physicalness of it because I was able to fully get out of my thinking brain, um, and just be able to let my body do what it was made to do.

SPEAKER_01 38:34

That's awesome. I feel like that also speaks a little bit to just how important it is to have a provider that you really do trust because it frees you to be able to do that. Like even hearing you say, I I wanted my midwife to check me, and I didn't even need her to tell me the information because I don't I don't actually want to be all up in my brain trying to micromanage what's going on. But I uh what I'm hearing you say is you totally trusted her to like get the information that would be helpful to manage your care and like make sure everything was good and help you. But if you flip that and kind of imagine if you're laboring with a provider that you don't necessarily have that trust built with, I'll just ask, would you have felt that same ability to just like let go of everything and surrender everything and do what you needed to do?

SPEAKER_00 39:34

I I don't think so. What I and I think that that's what like I knew like deep down, like I feel like that's what I knew whenever I asked that question of my first provider and got the response that I did. Like I was like, oh, there's there's no trust here. Like for one, I just felt like I was just a number to them. Um because that was the first time I even met that provider because I had met, you know, eight others before that. I think that that's what my like what I knew deep down was like there's no way the outcome that I want is going to be able to come out of like this type of relationship. So I think for sure that my ability to be able to do that was definitely because I had a provider that I could wholeheartedly trust. And I knew that like none of those little nitty-gritty things matter because I knew that she was going to take care of me if anything were to go wrong. And I think also, too, with my my doula, like me and my doula had just connected so well, even just from like I I think we talked like once on the phone, and like, and she actually is retired now, so she was like not even really doing births anymore. But my midwife had given me her information. We kind of chatted and like it we just connected, and I feel like that's like when building your birth team, like that's what really matters is like building those connections and those relationships because those are the people that you're gonna have to kind of relinquish everything to so that way you can do that surrender and you can get out of your thinking brain and let your body do what it's supposed to do.

SPEAKER_01 41:17

Awesome. Tell us a little bit more about what attendees expect from the Peach State birth expo.

SPEAKER_00 41:27

Oh, yes, yes, yes. I'm so excited about this birth expo. It is gonna be so, so much fun. We so we're going to have a vendor area. So in the vendor area, you are going to find things like doulas, midwives, chiropractors, other wellness centers, and things like that. We're also working on getting some other like fun vendors. We have a coffee shop, a local coffee shop who's gonna be there. Um, we're working on some other food vendors and um maybe even a shaved ice vendor just for some fun. And then we're gonna do something a little different this year from last year. We're kind of in like the early stages of it, so I don't have a ton of information, but we're doing like mini workshops or roundtable discussions instead of the panel. So last year you were there and we had a panel of perinatal workers who kind of talked about like different things, answered questions, talked about birth from their point of view of what they do. But this time we were thinking that it'd be really cool to do like some little mini workshops that people could go and like maybe learn a little bit more. So we're kind of working on that in the background. And we are going to have swag bags that we had swag bags last year, and they were nice, don't get me wrong. But these swag bags are really, really awesome. Like, I I've already posted, I think, one story kind of showing some of the stuff. The room that I'm currently in is like my storage room for the nonprofit, and I literally have boxes full of product um all around me that amazing companies like Serenity Kids, Amara, the Little Milk Bar. We have Mother Love Herbal Company. We have, I'm trying to think of some of the other ones, Legendary Milk. So we have some really amazing companies who have donated products for us to be able to use in our swag bags as well as in our raffles. We're gonna have raffles that people can buy tickets at the door. We might also launch the raffles online too, so that way if you're not able to attend, maybe you can win the raffle prizes as well. But it's gonna be a really amazing day. It is family friendly. Bring your kids, bring the family. You'll be able to meet providers, meet people who can help you in every stage of motherhood, and and maybe learn some really cool stuff too. And tickets are On sale right now as well on our Instagram. So you can go ahead and get your ticket online. They're$5 online and they're gonna be$10 at the door. So we have those on sale now. And then this space is a lot bigger than the space was last year. So we still have vendor booths that are open too. So we are going to be able to offer more vendor spaces than we did last year, which is also really awesome. So you can also apply to be a vendor on the link in our bio too.

SPEAKER_01 44:27

I'm super excited. I literally had the best time ever last year. And yeah, I brought my baby. She was like six months old, so she was strapped to me the whole time. And there were kids and babies everywhere. Yep. It was such a just a fun vibe, honestly. Just a room full of families, and yeah, it was cool. So I'm super looking forward to that. I will make sure to put links for all the things in the show notes. So anybody who is interested can check that out. Um, real quick, where and when is it?

SPEAKER_00 45:01

Yes, so it is going to be on April 11th. It's from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. And it is at the Commerce Civic Center in Commerce, Georgia.

SPEAKER_01 45:12

Awesome. All right, last question. If you and you can answer as Adula or as the founder of Peach State Birth Coalition, or as a mom who's given birth, if you had just one message that you could tell any pregnant mom, what would it be?

SPEAKER_00 45:34

Hmm. I feel like the the first thing that came to my mind is believe in yourself. Because your body was made to do this. So if you just that's a big thing that I feel like I I'm always repeating to my clients is that you just have to believe in yourself. And I feel like that goes for everything: birth, life, parenting, uh, marriage. You just have to believe in yourself, or Argus in the marriage terms, believe in you guys together.

SPEAKER_01 46:07

Yeah. Um believe in the unit.

SPEAKER_00 46:10

Yes, yeah. Believe in the family. Yeah, I think that would be the the biggest thing that I would tell um a new mom is to just believe in yourself.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

I love it. Thank you so much, Laney. It was a pleasure having you on.

SPEAKER_00 46:25

Thank you for having me.