Coming Back to Me...Piece by Piece

What does it really look like to come back to yourself?

In this episode, I’m talking about the little things that helped me find my way back to me… and how falling back in love with yourself doesn’t always happen in big, life-changing moments—but in the quiet, everyday ones.

Because if I’m being honest… there was a time where I felt lonely.
 Even when I was surrounded by people.

And I had to face that truth.

I had to learn the difference between being alone and being lonely… and understand that being alone isn’t always a bad thing.

It was uncomfortable at first.
 It felt awkward.
 It even felt a little embarrassing.

But that’s where it started.

From singing in practice rooms just for me…
 to journaling through my thoughts…
 to sitting in the sun and allowing myself to feel peace again…

Those little moments started pouring back into me.

And somewhere along the way…
 I realized I was falling back in love with myself.

Not a perfect version of me…
 but all of me.

The version that made mistakes.
 The version that had to take accountability.
 The version that had to be honest about where I was and how I got there.

And the biggest lesson?

The power was never in getting it all right.
 It was in getting back up… every single time.

This episode is for anyone who feels disconnected from themselves…
 anyone who is learning how to be with themselves again…
 and anyone who is finding their way back—piece by piece.

✨ Glow Up Goals

We are still in the 75 Day Challenge—showing up, being intentional, and pouring back into ourselves.

If you’re on this journey too, tag the podcast or use:
 #HPHP75DayChallenge

💌 Stay Connected

Follow the podcast:
 Instagram: @herpathherpace
 TikTok: @her.path.her.pace

Follow me (Aireal):
 Instagram: @reshae____
 TikTok: @reshae__

Thank you for being here, for growing with me, and for allowing yourself the space to come back to you.

And don’t forget… give yourself some grace 🤍

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

I don't know how long I need to be. It has been a day.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

It has been a day, it has been a day, and it's been a day, and it's been a day.

unknown 0:23

But we're here.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

Welcome to welcome back. Thank you for joining me here. This is Her Path, Her Pace, where Growth Meets Grace, and I am your host, Shane. And welcome. Happy, happy Tuesday. If it's Tuesday when you're listening, you know, if it's not, it's okay. Happy whatever day it is that you're listening. Thank you for tuning in and joining us for this special, for this, not special, but for this episode. I mean, every episode, but anyways. Hi. I don't know if y'all can tell. It's been like, it's yeah, my brain is a little wired, a little everywhere. We're just gonna go ahead and dive right in and go ahead and get started with catching up with life lately and everything. Like y'all, it has like I've learned that I hate being hassled. I I I really do. And um I hate when people like repeat questions. Like, I mean, I don't know. Like, there's a there's a it's so crazy because I worked with kids and I've I'm used to kids asking over and over and over. And like I had all the patience in the world dealing with kids, dealing with children. But when it comes to adults, and I'm just like, if I've already communicated once, like why do you keep asking me the same thing? I don't know, but you know, and some things I can't like some things I do have patience about, and like, but I don't know, I don't know. There's some things I just I don't even know how to describe it, but yeah, what happened? What's going on live? Oh, okay. I went to this sync event, licensing sync event, showcase networking event, um, hosted by the moderator from my from the artist development panel that I was on, and it was actually really good, it was really dope, and it was great for me to get back into it because you know it's kind of I haven't been active in the music scene here back home because of past things and situations like that. I talked a little bit about it, I think last episode or a couple episodes ago, and I'll do an actual like full-fledged episode about it maybe one day. But all in all, my experience with music here in the city is not the best. Um, my past experience here is not the best um for whatever reason. I mean, not for whatever, for a multitude of reasons. I know the reasons, but and well, not all of them, but some of them. And but so it's kind of it was a little scary, it was a little nerve-wracking dipping my toe back out there, putting like you know, going into the scene and everything and getting back into the music scene here. But I'm happy, I'm so proud of myself that I did it. I'm so I I definitely called my daddy though. I had to call my pops, and I was like, Pops, I'm scared. I said, like, I was literally in the car driving to the event, and I like was like, I called my daddy and I said, Pops, like I'm driving, I'm in my car, I'm going and I'm gonna be there. But daddy, I'm scared, daddy. I'm scared. But guess what? I still did it. I still went, I still faced my fear. I did it scared, like I told y'all from the beginning. Do it scared, do it, just do it, just start, take that step, and I did like and I'm very proud of myself. Like, I made some really nice connections, and I look forward to meeting up and linking up with those people and seeing where the relationships can possibly go. Um, but it was just a start, and I'm happy that I stepped. I'm happy that I did it, and I can't lie, it was nothing but God, and crazy enough, I God is God funny because he got a great sense of humor. Because I thought this man was telling me, this man, I thought God was telling me that um I thought he was telling me one thing uh about a certain situation, but really he was talking about this, and I was like, oh, oh, oh, okay, okay, okay, G.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

Okay, baby, okay, baby.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

But yeah, God's kind of funny like that. It's it really is never how you expect it to be or what your plan is, it he's funny that way, and I'm I'm learning to just be alone for the ride and trust him and all those things, but yeah, so that's really what's going on in my life, and that's really it. Yeah, so now that we are all caught up and hearts and minds are clear, let's go ahead and talk about our glow-up goal. Let's get it. So, as you guys know, for our glow up goals for the next 75 days, we are doing the 75-day challenge where we are journaling every day. Well, if you're joining me in the challenge, my things that I'm doing for the next 75 days, I'm journaling every day. I am reading a chapter out of the Bible every day, I am reading 10 pages for fun every day, going on a 30-minute walk every day, and we are working out daily and eating to support whatever our workout goals are. For me, yeah, so yeah, we're eating to support whatever the workout goal is to support the habit. Yeah, that words, like I said, y'all, it's been a day, it's been a day, it's been a day. Um, and then yeah, but yes, so that's what we're doing, and I can't lie, I did fall a little bit behind this weekend, and I'm not gonna lie, I am being a pretty bad steward with my timing and my time management because I haven't been reading for fun, I haven't been reading the 10 pages every day for fun because I'm also still in school, so I'm still doing a lot of reading for that right now. Um, but I have I have been journaling daily, I have been reading my Bible daily, and I have been going on my 30-minute walks. And like I said last week, I actually have been doing longer than 30 minutes because the girl, the person that was supposed to do my workout plan had some things happen, and honestly, I think she was just full of a bunch of BS because she once again breached contract, like not once, not twice, but three times at this point. And so I just told her, scratch it, just give me my money back. Um, and so we're just I'm going to start working out, you know, this week. And so we're I because I didn't I'm not gonna hold you because I missed two days, I did miss two days this pack, like this weekend got kind of busy, and I wasn't like I said, I wasn't being a good steward of my time, and so I did fall off. Actually, I didn't miss two days, I only missed one day, so but yeah, I'm just gonna add a day to my 75. So yes, I am on day. No, I did miss two days. So today is day seven for me. Today is actually day seven for me, and yeah, so we're gonna start like that. We're on day seven and we're gonna keep pushing for it like that, and we're gonna we're locked and loaded now, and that's that's all that matters. So if you fell behind, if you miss a couple days, that's fine. Cool, just brush it off. We're gonna you can join now, and yeah, we're gonna hit the ground running now. So that's what we're gonna do with that and for that, and so yeah, that's really it. Um, but how is it going for you guys? I hope you guys are being better at it than I am. Um, but it's okay. We're gonna all get on the same page, all on one accord, and we're gonna do better all together. You yeah, I gotta do better.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

I gotta do better.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

But yeah, so that's what's going on. Those are our glow up goals once again. Let me know. Share your photos and your pictures of your moments and things that you are learning about yourself, and little like even just little pictures of like the things you see when you go on your walk, you know. Try to go walking in different places that you might not go walking all the time. Try to change up the routine if you can a bit. Get yourself out there and be in the you know, in the sun, in nature. And I know we some of us have allergies and bad allergies, and then I don't know what it is about all this pollen. Well, actually, I do, but we ain't gotta talk about it. Um, all this pollen. I have terrible allergies. I'm not gonna lie, I've been doing like at-home nebulizer treatments. Well, nebulizer, whatever, is it nebulizers? Something like nebulizer saline treatment, something like that, that I got for music for singing that helps with my throat and helps clear out a lot of mucus. And I took, I was proactive and I took Allegra D when I first when we were in that like faux spring week and we fell right back in the winter. Um, I took it then, so I'm kinda I'm kinda okay. Um, I still need to go to the farmer's market and get some local honey. But you know, we'll get there and that'll be that. But yeah, there are things that you can do to, you know, combat the pollen that's out in the air around you and stuff like that. I saw some lady on TikTok and she said that she went to the store, she went to like Lowe's or something and bought um female trees and she has them all over her house, and that has helped like clear out all of the pollen and allergens in her home. So she's not having so if that's something that you know you might need to look into doing, then go ahead and look into doing that. But yeah, so there's ways to combat it and things like that. But yeah, go out, don't don't let your allergies hold you back from being outside. I know that's such a that's so sad. But yeah, don't let your allergies hold you back. Um, so yeah, but yeah, hashtag HPHP75 day challenge. Let me know how's it going for you. Let me know the things you're learning about yourself. And yeah, because I'm learning quite a bit about myself that I didn't realize. And I'm more I've I've come to terms with a lot more things than I thought I did. And that's great, and that's growth, and that's progress that I didn't see at first. And I was able to see it now from journaling again and getting back into the daily habit. That's also with talking to God and praying and reading and meditating over his word. So yeah, things like that. But yeah, that's that. So now that we're glowing, growing and going, let's see who we're in step with today. Okay, okay, okay. So for this week's shared steps, I want to give flowers to the one and the only B Samoan. And I know that might make some people pause for a second, but hear me out. Hear me out, hear me out. Because this isn't about perfection, it's about growth.

unknown 12:09

B.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

Simone is a comedian, an actress, an entrepreneur. She's built her own brand, created multiple businesses, and has really carved out her own space in entertainment and media. But what I really want to highlight is her willingness to grow out loud. Because we have seen her get it right, and we have also seen her get it wrong. But instead of disappearing, instead of pretending, she's chosen to stay visible and do the work in front of people. And that takes courage because it's one thing to fall, it's another thing to get back up when everybody is watching. And what I've noticed in her journey is this intentional return to herself, learning herself again, being honest about where she is and taking accountability and actively choosing to grow. And that's not always pretty, it's not always polished, but it is real. And I think that deserves recognition because falling back in love with yourself, especially after you've had moments when you didn't show up the way you wanted to, that takes honest work. That takes grace, like I said, honesty. And we're literally watching it happen in real time with these money. And that's a reminder for all of us. You don't have to have it all figured out to start coming back to yourself, you don't have to get everything right the first time, you just have to be willing to keep choosing you again and again and again and again. So this shared step is this growth doesn't always look perfect, and it doesn't always happen privately, but that doesn't mean it's any less real and it doesn't make you any less worthy of becoming who you're meant to be. So, B Simone, I would like to say thank you for being honest in your journey, for choosing growth even when it has been uncomfortable, and for reminding us that becoming is a process that we are allowed to be in. So thank you. Here are your flowers great. Now let's set the mood with some good tune. Okay, so this week, I don't know if you can tell from the shared steps moment, but we're kind of talking about you know, falling back in love with yourself and learning yourself again and being bold and loud and proud, and even if it's loud and wrong, being out there and growing and not being afraid to grow in front of people and mess up and get back up again and all those things, right? So for her playlist this week, I filled it with songs that kind of that either make me feel good, like put me in like a good headspace and I just vibe to it, or you know, remind me of you know to love myself and things about myself that I love. Okay, so first song on the playlist is Brown Skin Girl by Beyonce. And next on the playlist we have Put Your Records On by Connie Belly Ray. And the last song, which might be a little surprising to people, it's all gold every time by Trinidad James. And listen, Brown Skin Girl just it just you know it's just a reminder of like loving the skin I'm in and being proud to be a black woman and loving being a black woman. That's what that song is for me, and so that's why it's at the top of the list. And then put your records on, it just makes me feel good. Like every time I hear that song, I just want to get up and dance. Like every single time. It doesn't matter what kind of mood I'm in. If I hear that song, go put your record song, tell me your favorite song, tell me your damn. It's just carefree and it's just so loose and just it's like a breath of fresh air. And then all go everything, that's just another song. It's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, it just makes me feel good. It just is a nice vibe out song. And so I want to share these songs with you because they help me feel good. And so I hope they can help you feel good. Or if not, you know, what songs help you feel good? Like, go listen to those songs and put them on this week and listen to them on repeat. Any time you feel down and sad and bad, just put the songs on, and you know, they'll lift you up. These are the songs, these are some of the songs. It's not all of them, I have more, but these are just some of the songs that help bring my mood back up. So, what are those songs for you? You know, all right. Now that the mood is all set with the tunes, let's go ahead and walk through this thing, y'all. Okay, so as I said, our main topic of discussion today is just talking about learning how to fall, like not fall, yeah, learning to fall back in love with yourself, coming back to yourself, and just little things that bring you back to you. And I just wanted to share some of the things that helped me because you know, it's self-care is very important. And my to in my last episode, I talked about how you can't pour from an empty cup, and that that's something that I had to learn, and part of learning and being okay with you know, or learning and accepting that truth of you can't pour from an empty cup. Okay, well, I had to learn how to fall, not learn, I had to fall back in love with myself. I had to learn me again. And because when I when my cup was empty, when I wasn't actually pouring back, when I wasn't pouring into myself, when yeah, when I wasn't pouring into myself and I wasn't allowing others to pour into me, life weighed me down. Life weighed me down and it made me feel heavy, and no lie, it can sometimes make you feel like you're all you got. And you know, I had to learn the difference between being alone and lonely, and I also had to learn that being alone is not always a bad thing, and so but the first step for me was I had to admit I I was lonely because I was alone and I was lonely for the longest, like people, not people, I was trying to convince myself, and I was like, you're not lonely, you're not lonely. I didn't want to accept the truth of how I was truly feeling, and I was forcing myself to get through life, and the way I faced the fact that I was actually truly feeling lonely was I was taking a social and emotional intelligence class when I was in undergrad, and that class forced me to face myself, and thank God it did. Thank God it did, because that's the class where I started coming back to me. Um, prior to that class, I was yeah, I yeah, I was anyways, there's nothing for it, but yes, thank God I took that class and thank God that I took up because my professor, I remember her telling us at the beginning of that class, she was like, This is the type of class you get out of it, what you put into it. If you fully invest in this class, you're gonna you're gonna get a 100% return on your investment. And um, I ain't gonna lie, that kind of scared me a bit, but you know what? And it actually it didn't scare me. It honestly made me take it so seriously, and it made me be like, what do you gotta lose? Like literally, I was just like, what do you have to lose um by not fully showing up for this class? What do you gotta lose? Like, what's the worst that can happen if you fully show up? What's the worst? You not learn anything about yourself. That's literally the worst, and you're still stuck in the same position. And I was like, I didn't want to stay stuck where I was at, and so I showed up fully 110% every single time. And when I say I showed up fully 110% every time, some days I didn't feel like it, but I still gave it my all on the days that I didn't feel like it. If my if my all was only like 45%, I gave it all 45%, and that's what I'm saying. And I can't lie, at the beginning, it was very awkward um falling back in love with myself and getting through the class because a lot of the exercises and things, like for the class, I was the I was my case study. And I was so a lot of the exercises and skills and field tests that we were doing, I was doing it on myself. And I had to put myself in some, not put myself in awkward and uncomfortable positions. A way like it compromised who I was. It just when you're well, for me, when I was in that lonely space, it was it was hard getting back out there on my own. And so I realized some things felt a little embarrassing. And I just felt like people were watching me and judging me all the time, everywhere I went. And I just I just ultimately had to say, fuck it, it don't matter. Like that's literally, I had to reframe my perspective. I had to shift my perspective and just be like, nobody cares about what you're doing. Nobody cares, Shay. Don't nobody care about what you're doing, ain't nobody watching you like that. And the thing is, if they are, so be it. Why do you care? Don't care. It does not matter whether people are watching or not. It doesn't matter if people are judging or not. It's okay. You're doing this for you. And I ain't gonna hold you. It's not easy. That is not an easy reframing process. I'm not, I can say it, I know it's not it's a lot easier said than done, but the point is it is doable because I did it. And so I know because I've been there, you can do it too. Because I've literally been in your shoes. If you understand where I'm coming from, I've been there. So I know it's doable, and I'm not telling you it's doable just to say it's doable. No, I did it, okay. Um, but it is not easy. I understand it's not easy. It is definitely a process, it's a process. So we can just start small. You can start small. And the way I started small was since I was still in undergrad and everything, and I was still at school, I would go to the practice rooms, um, the music practice rooms. Uh and you know, like I said, I didn't jump all the way back in with everything. Um, so I started small by going back to a place where I fell in love. And one of the places where I fell in love was with music. And in those private practice rooms, I could do whatever I wanted to do in those rooms. And no, like nobody could see me. Nobody could judge me. I mean, they could hear me, but we're all music kids. Like we all understand how it works. Some songs you're gonna sound amazing on, and we're gonna hear you crack and squeak and squawk and holler and hoot and all the things. Like I can't tell you all the sounds I've heard in those music practice rooms. Nobody cares because we're all here to get better. We're literally in practice rooms to practice. So, like, that's what I did. I just started going back to the practice rooms, but I wasn't going back to the practice rooms to work on schoolwork and things like that. I was going just to have the freedom to sing for fun again. Like, I had to remind myself why I even came here in the first place. It's because I love singing, I love music, I love putting on a show, I love telling the story and connecting to a song in such a special way. I love that, and I fell in love with music and all of those things, and I had to remind myself of all of that. And the way, one of the ways I did that was by going to the practice rooms and just singing for fun and singing for hours on end. It didn't matter if it sounded good, it wasn't about sounding good, it was just about me having fun, it was just about me having fun again, and I'm not gonna like like technique kind of went out the window, but it's okay because like over time I would just lose myself in those practice rooms, and I would be there literally from the time I finished my last class until closing some days, and I just yeah, but that was how I started, that was my small start. That was me in a private room by myself, no accompanies, just me. And I would bring a little speaker with me to hook my phone up to so I could blast whatever karaoke track I wanted to blast, and sometimes I didn't even sing, I would just play music and dance, but that was one of the ways I started small, and then as I kept moving forward, another thing that I added in was journaling, uh, which is also why I added it, why I have it in our 75-day challenge, because journaling created a safe space with myself. It gave me the space and opportunity to face my inner thoughts, my emotions, and not have to overthink them and not like it wasn't something there was no order to it. Like I'm I can tell y'all right now. Sometimes I read back some of my journaling, my journal entries, and I'm like, whoa, you were literally all over the place. And I and that that's what it was. Like I would just literally pull out the journal and pull out any journal. I have so many of them, but I pulled out the journal that I was working on in that time and I would just start writing. Whenever I felt like anything just bubbling up and boiling up inside me, I would just grab the journal and I would write. I put no thought behind it, nothing, no, no grammar, uh apologies. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry to all of my ELA teachers. I apologize because none of my journals are grammatically correct in any kind of way. I can't lie, none of them, but it gave me an emotional release. It wasn't about anything other than just understanding and facing my feelings, understanding and putting how I was feeling, how whatever was bottled up inside me, putting it down on paper. And I don't know how to describe it, I don't know the science behind it, but it worked for me. And like I said, it helped create a safe space with me, with myself. And I was starting to be okay and learning how to be okay to sit with my own feelings and sit with the myself and face how I was truly feeling about things and face how things are truly affecting me and impacting me, and not caring if it was big or small, or whatever judgment or parameters other the world would make me feel, or you know, the labels and things that have been I've you know, the guardrails and all the things that I've used over time and that I've learned over time between because of trauma and disappointment and let down and all the things and so on and so forth. I just let all of that go. And journaling helped me let all of that go and have that space within myself to just feel it gave me permission to just feel whatever, and there was no judgment, and there was something just so beautiful about that. Um, so yeah, and as I went on, you know, those small moments became more, and over time I began to do more and step outside, and so one of those things is like like I like I one of those things is sitting in the sun. And just sitting in the sun, going to the park or sitting on the lawn at school, and it would be by myself, you know. No, nobody would be with me, or going on walks if it was like a nice day outside. So now I've now I've moved from you know having private moments in the practice room and private moments in my journals where only I'm the person reading and reflecting. So now I'm going outside and I'm putting myself out there and getting back into society, back into life. Um, and not only just being back in life, but being present in life again and not just going through the motions. And one of those ways that I got back outside to be present in life was by simply just sitting in the sun. It started out as like five to ten minutes at a time, and then over time, like I would just bring homework and I would journal outside, and so it went from five to ten minutes to 30 minutes to sometimes an hour to two, and I would just be out in the sun. And something about being kissed by the sun, you know, I'm melanated, my skin loves the sun, but I really didn't understand how much joy being outside actually brings me until you know I started getting back into the flow of things, and then it went from me going outside and sitting outside by myself to going back to the movies and taking myself out on dates. And I say taking myself to the movies because I now here's the thing I love watching a movie, I'll sit back at home and watch a movie, yeah. But I love the actual movie theater experience and going to the theater, and that's the thing, because I would I've told people like a lot in all my life that I love movies, but more specifically, I love going to the movies. I love going to the movie theater because I don't know what it is, but to me and for me, it's something very special about going to the movie theaters. It's a shared human experience. It's literally a bunch of strangers in the this blacked-out theater. We don't know nothing about each other other than somebody sitting on the left side of me, somebody may be sitting on the right side of me, somebody may be in front of me, somebody may be behind me. Hopefully they're not kicking my seat. Hopefully there's no loud child in here and all those things. But but it's something so innocent and beautiful about going to the theater, and we we all have this one thing in comic, and it's just the fact, simple fact that we were all interested, or well, maybe not everybody in the theater was interested in seeing the movie. You might have got dragged to go see the movie, nonetheless, we're all here watching this movie, and that is the only proven thing that we all have in common, and yet we go on this journey for maybe an hour and a half to two hours, if it's Marvel III. Um watching this movie of you know, we are laughing together, we're crying together, we are we're scared together, we are experiencing these intense moments and high, heightened levels of emotions all together, these this room of strangers that once we leave out of here, the only thing that we are going to have in common is this shared experience. And I don't know, it's just something that's so beautiful about that to me and for me. And so, like, I love going to the movies, and that was another thing that I started back doing. And you know, that that was that was that was one of the ways I was falling back in love and learning myself again and giving myself permission to take up space and exist, and it's okay, and it helped me feel okay. And I have to be honest, as I kept moving along, God also helped me, and I have to tell you, it did not start with God. As you can see, I didn't start there, I didn't start with him. I said music, I said journaling, and I said going outside and sleep, and I said the movie, I didn't I did not start with God. Um be honest, I God was not the first, I did not turn to God first. I didn't. I didn't. But you know what? As I've been in this journey and as I've continued to grow and as I continue to heal, He has shown me that He has always been there in the music, in my journaling moments, in me sitting in the sun and enjoying nature because you know the first I fell in love with music and performing, not in school, but at church. That's where I fell in love with music and performing, was at church. Because you know, I was I didn't care for the preacher hooting and hollering. I I I still really can't stand that preacher talk jargon thing. I really I hate I mm I shouldn't say hate, but like I just strongly dislike and despise that performative preaching. I really do, and it really turns me off and away from messages and things like that. And it's but you know, I've worked through it a lot more since I've been older. But when I was a child, the only part of service that I really genuinely connected to was the music, and that was how God spoke to me, and it was through music, and so that's you know, and I real he showed me and helped me realize that like I was there in the music, I was there in the practice room with you. Cause I mean, I I some of some of those songs that I sang were old church songs that made me feel good, and I didn't realize it in the moment until I started looking back. I'm about to cry. Oh my gosh. Um, I didn't realize it in the moment until I started looking back and reflecting and then journaling, yeah, talking to myself, but I definitely when I read some of those journal entries back, I definitely was wrestling with God and talking to him in those moments too. In those journal moments, in those reflection, in that reflection, and as I was dealing with those emotions, and once again, like in my last episode, when I was talking about my 25 blessings, understanding that God is the source and he grants us resources, and that these are different resources and ways that he was showing me to get back, it was showing me and reminding me how to fall back in love with myself, all of that, and you know, I may get a lot of backlash about you know my story and everything because I didn't start with God, and yet I here I am talking about God and telling y'all all these things about Him, but I'm being honest about my journey and my process and my story, and I have to be honest and clearly state I didn't turn to God first. That may have been a mistake on my part, but all of it was a part of my journey, and all of it was a part of my process, and I'm still here, and I've I I'm still with him. I am now with God, and now I see thanks to him, and I am not ashamed or I'm not ashamed to say any of that. I'm not ashamed of the honesty and yeah, of the honest nature of all of that and my process. No, I didn't turn to God first, I didn't, but everything led me back to him in the process, and for that I am forever grateful. And so, like all in all, it was a full circle moment because all of these little things poured back into me gradually over time. And I when I say over time, I do mean time. It took some time, it took some time to get to this place where I am sitting in front of you. If you're listening, if you're listening, me hearing me speak to you. It took me some time to get to this place, to get back to this moment. Well, not get back to this moment, but to get back to me. And not only, and it's not even that I'm back to me, I've learned to fall in love with the new me. And I've learned to not only dress the new me, but yeah, because old me, I I I'm perfect. I don't have no problems. Ain't got no situations, ain't nothing too hard for me to handle. I can do it all. I can do it all by myself. I can do bad all by myself, you know? That was old me. Knew me. No, I am flawed. I am imperfect. I have made mistakes. I have been the I have been the villain in some people's story. And I've I I've also been done wrong. And I've also been let down and disappointed, and I've had trials and tribulations, and I've had things that I've had to face and I've had to grow from, and I've had to be honest with about myself. And I've had I've fallen so many times in so many different ways in so many different areas. But you know what? They've all contributed to who I am today, and I can now proudly say and genuinely mean that I love me and I love the person that I'm becoming, and I love the person that I was because she was doing the best that she could to get through life. And that's okay, that those old things no longer can like those old things can no longer do it because I'm no longer that person. But that doesn't take away from my journey and my process, and I just want you to know that learning to fall in love and accept who you were and who you are becoming is huge. And yeah, I'm happy and I'm okay. And I've these are just things that helped me get back to me and like coming back to yourself, loving yourself, falling in love with yourself, not even falling in love because that's the thing. I I didn't fall back in love. Like I said, I started small and it was gradual. I walked into love with myself. I am walking back in love with myself. I am walking in step with God as I'm learning and growing and loving everything about me. And that doesn't have to be loud because nobody knew what I was going through. Nobody I mean I still haven't shared everything that I've gone through with y'all. So no one knows everything I've gone through. No one will ever know everything you're gone through. So that's fine. That's okay. Sometimes it's the little things that matter. Sometimes it's the little things that remind you that you are important that you are in those little moments at us eventually when you look in the mirror, you'll be happy with the person you see. But you gotta put in the work, you gotta put in the time so start where you can. Start small. I started small, I started in the private little music room. Start where you can, don't be performative because it's not about other people who cares about other people, it's not for them, it's for you. If you want to be loud, bold, and proud with it, then be loud, bold, and proud with it. If that's you, then that's you. But if you want to be quiet, you can do the work in the background and start small, that is also a yo game. So yeah, start where you can and fall back in love with yourself. Walk back in love to you. Okay. Now, as you guys know, I will love, love, love, love. Love, love, love to hear your advice. Well, hear your stories. If you do have some advice you'd like to share about certain topics, you can also write those in and let us know about your experiences and things that you have gone through and grown from and learned from and things like that. If not, that's also okay. If you would also like to email me some advice, if you would like advice from me, I can give it my best shot. I'm not licensed, I am not a licensed therapist, I am not a psychiatrist, I will not be diagnosing anybody. I do not have a degree to support the approximately. I just have life experience. Okay, and I have an opinion. I so I'll give it the best shot that I can if you would like. Yeah. But you can email all of those things to lettersalongtheway at gmail.com. That is L-E-T-T-E-R-S A-L-O-N-G-T-H-E-W-A-Y at Gmail.com. Now let's move on to Gracenotes. Okay, so for the Swiss Grace Notes, I don't actually have a quote or anything. It's just, you know, a bit of advice. And then I just wanted to let you guys know that sometimes the way back to yourself isn't in the big moments. It's in the little things that make you feel like you were take your time. You're not behind. There's no need to write. There's no one judging you. Who cares? It's not about them. It's about you. And you're just finding your way back to you. And that is more than okay. So I just want to say thank you guys for joining me for another episode for another week. Um, go ahead and like, comment, share, subscribe, turn on those post bell notifications so you are notified every time we upload. Well, every time I upload a new episode. Um, if you would like to have your letters things like red, email those, send those right on in. Once again, don't forget hashtag hphp75 day challenge so we can know what we're how we're moving along in those 75 day goals because we're supposed to be glowing and growing and going. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Do all of the things and the follow on all the socials and everything can be found down below in the description box. But yes, thank you guys once again for tuning in for another episode. And until next week, guys, remember to pause, breathe, take a beep, and don't forget to give yourself some grace. Until next week, guys, bye.