The Voice I Was Running From

There was a time in my life where I felt completely lost.

Not just a little confused… but truly didn’t know where to start to even begin finding myself again. And in that space, I made a choice. I decided I wasn’t going to stay there.

So I went looking for my purpose.

But what I didn’t realize at the time was this… I wasn’t lost because I didn’t have purpose. I was lost because I couldn’t see it.

In this episode, I’m talking about how my need to control everything—how it looked, how it showed up, how it was supposed to happen—actually kept me from recognizing that I was already living in my purpose.

I had this very specific idea of what it was supposed to be, and because of that, I missed all the ways it was already showing up in my life.

The truth is… sometimes your purpose doesn’t look how you imagined it would. Sometimes it shows up in the things you do naturally. In the moments you speak up. In the times you advocate—for others and for yourself. In the patterns that follow you no matter where you go.

And if I’m being honest… sometimes your purpose can scare you. Sometimes you don’t want to see it. Or you can’t see it yet.

I’m sharing real moments from my life where I was using my voice—without even realizing that was the very thing pointing me back to what I’m here to do.

And how, over time, I’ve refined my understanding of my purpose to this:

To be a voice for the voiceless… even if that voice is just for me.

Because that still matters.

This episode is also a reminder that even when you start to understand your purpose, you’re still human. You’re still going to misstep. You’re still going to have moments where you question it, where you fall back into old patterns, where you don’t get it “right.”

And that’s okay.

This podcast… this space… is a part of me walking in that purpose. It’s me creating a place where people can feel seen. Where the thoughts, emotions, and experiences the world tries to minimize can be spoken out loud.

A reminder that you are not alone.

And if this reaches millions… that’s beautiful.

But if the only voice that’s healed in the process is my own… that still matters too.

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🎧 Her Playlist (Ep. 16)
 https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/her-playlist-ep-16/pl.u-leylWD8tjd91rj

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✨ Glow Up Goals Reminder
 We’re still in the 75 Day Challenge—stay consistent, stay intentional, and give yourself grace through the process. No matter what your version looks like, keep showing up.

Use #HPHP75DayChallenge or #HPHP75Days so we can grow together 🤍

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💌 Letters Along the Way
 Have something on your heart? A story, experience, or something you’re navigating? Send it in and you might be featured in an upcoming episode:
 lettersalongtheway@gmail.com

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📲 Stay Connected
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Follow me, your host:
 Instagram: @reshae____
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If this episode spoke to you, don’t forget to like, comment, share, and subscribe—especially on YouTube. It helps this message reach who it’s meant for.

And as always… give yourself some grace 🤍

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey guys. Oh my gosh. Wow. Y'all, I got a new mic. Y'all like the new mic? I like the new mic. I hope it sounds pretty good. Let's go ahead and get the show to roll. Hello, everybody. If this is your first time joining us, thank you for tuning in. If this is not you are coming back, thank you for coming back. Welcome back. This is Her Path, Her Pace, where growth meets grace, and I am your host, Shay. Oh my goodness. Welcome to another episode. If you're listening when it drops, it's Tuesday. Happy Tuesday. Alrighty. Let's go ahead and dive right in and get caught up with life lately. Um, what's going on in my world right now, y'all? Okay, so I'm currently in this season of like I'm not dating. Like, well, I'm dating myself and I'm building my strengthening my relationship with God and all that. So like I'm not dating or dating like right now at all. And well, because I was I'm taking the time for myself and God, but also because like I realized like after this last relationship that really I've never just truly sat my butt down for an entire like for a long period of time and not dated. And when I say not date, I mean like not even going out on dates, not hanging out with nobody, like because even when I had my first heartbreak, like if I was even like if I was like, yeah, I guess so, like I would still go, even though I went in the mood, I knew nothing was ever gonna come out of any of those dates, like nothing ever came from any of those, but I still would like entertain the idea of a possibility or give guys like whatever, not even give guys because I definitely never went back out on another date with any of them, but but that's besides the point. But yeah, I realized that I actually have never sat down and taken the time to not date anybody, and I ain't gonna hold y'all after that last relationship Yeah, I just I had to take a break, take a break, take a breather, because yeah, that's just that's just that's just no, we're not we're not doing that, and so I'm taking a break, whatever, right? And so sorry y'all, I'm looking at something, but um, so in this season of not dating, like I've still had guys like trying to bite and ask me out, spend time with me, and all those things, right? Whatever, and I've been very straight up and honest with them and just been like, I'm not dating right now, I'm not it's not it's genuinely not you, I'm just not dating anybody, I'm dating myself and getting to know myself, and so I'm not I'm not going out on dates. So even if it's something a situation that can potentially turn into or look like or come across as I just I shut it down, it shut down immediately, right? And for the most part, everybody's been cool, like every guy has been pretty cool about it, which is nice. Um, but then I had this one guy at work, and he tried to play me like oh, he thought I was stupid or dumb or born yesterday or something. I don't know what he thought, but he had X he had texted me. Well, first he invited me at work, he invited me to go hang out with him and his friends. I was like, okay, cool, whatever. And then I was out with my friend, and I wasn't about to cancel any of our plans because like I don't really rock with you like that anyway, so like you cool, but I I'm I'm not changing whatever. My reasons, my reasons. I didn't want to hang out, and so he texted me um on that Saturday and was like, Hey, my friends all ended up canceling, but I still would like to hang out with you. Do you think I was born yesterday? Do I look like I was born yesterday? I wasn't. So after he said that, I was like, I proceeded to tell him I'm not dating, I'm not in this season, like I'm not dating anybody, I'm not interested in dating anybody. And I just let him know that off rip. And then he tried to come back and say all the things, like, oh no, that's not what I meant, yada yada yada yada yada. Okay, fast forward to after the weekend, we get back to work. This boy would talk to me every day, every morning, or anytime he would see me around like the facility, and whatever. He avoided speaking to me and all that stuff until he finally spoke to me like in the middle of the week. And when he spoke to me, he came and he apologized again and stuff like that, and he gave me this whole sob story about how he's not in the season of dating either because he just went through this tragic relationship and had this tragic breakup and yada yada yada yada. Right, right, the very next day, y'all. I kid you not, the very next day, he came back to me on my lunch and asked me about what perfumes I wear or something, because that was something he would always compliment me on, is how I smelled and the perfumes I would wear, whatever. And so he asked me like some of the perfumes that I wear because he wanted to gift it to his female friend that he goes to the gym with because they they've been recently talking about potentially dating and going out and being in a romantic relationship with each other. Sir, sir, you literally just told me yesterday how you weren't in the season of dating because you just got out of a terrible relationship that had you heartbroken and all of the things, and then you come barely 24 hours later and ask me about perfume to give to another woman because you're thinking because you guys are both thinking about dating. And you think, I was just like, Oh, so now that I've said that I'm not interested, you feel comfortable to talk to me about other women, which I have no problem with because I'm genuinely not interested in him in that way. There's actually nobody who's got my eye in that well, no money I can have, nobody in that realm of things like have like I'm not interested. I'm genuinely dating myself right now, and so whatever. But it was just it was just the ploy, the play of it all. Like, just be honest. There was no hard feelings, just take the take take the rejection and go on about your day. You didn't have to come and tell me no whole sob story because you literally came to me the next day and was like, well, actually, you just contradicted yourself. I don't, but yeah, that that's just that's just what happened, and I was like, oh my goodness, like I don't even think he realized what he did, what he said. I actually I'm pretty sure he does, but it just was it was just hilarious to me, and I just was like, Yeah, weirdo. That was weird. There was that was completely uncalled for and just weird to me, but I had a good key off of it. But that's all that's really going on in my world. What's going on with you guys lately? How's life? Have you guys been taking you guys yourselves out on dates like we've been talking about, you know, doing the solo dating thing? Are you joining me on my solo dating journey? Let me know down below in the comments how you are doing in that area. Hey, oh cool, cool, cool. Now that we are all caught up, let's hit some goals, baby. So I still have not taken the time to figure out what day we're technically supposed to be on for our 75-day challenge. But like I said, I've still been very consistent, I've still been journaling every day, and actually I've gotten really good about reading again. So, but I'm a little nervous to see how it's gonna go because I also start classes again this week, and that's what threw me off with reading in the first place. But I think I have a routine down for myself because I sit and read at night now in bed, I drink my tea, my bedtime tea, and I read. And so now that I have that system in place, I believe I'll be okay and still be able to keep up with reading. But yes, just to remind everybody of what our challenge consists of reading at least 10 pages for fun a day, um, reading the Bible every day, reading a chapter out of the Bible a day. Well, yes, reading a chapter out of the Bible every day, journaling every day, going on a 30-minute walk um outside every day, and then daily working out and eating to support whatever your workout goals are, no limitations or you know, stipulations around that. I believe that's it. Yeah, I believe that's all of them. And like I said, I haven't been keeping track with the days because I've created this routine that it just happens naturally in my daily day, like my daily practice, and so it's not I just I haven't been keeping up with the days. At first, I was keeping up the days when I was journaling, but then I stopped writing the days in the journal book and I started jumping journals because I have journals in different places, so yeah, that's also that's really why I got lost and lost track of the days. So that's on me. I will do better about actually going back. I'm pretty sure what's today. Yes, by the time this episode drops, it'll be April 21st. So that means we started March 22nd. So we're about a month in. Yeah, we're about a month in. So we're about 30 days in. So that's cool. See, I simple math. We're gonna say that. We're gonna say we're about the 22nd Wednesday. So we're 20, we're on day 28 or 29. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what we're gonna say. So yeah, I hope you guys are all keeping up and doing what you can. Remember, this is very loose. You can choose what you want to do, what you don't, and what you don't want to do, you don't have to do. It's all up to you, it's all about your personal growth and what you feel you need at this time to help you know, whether it's to help you work through something or just to help you have structure and have a routine and build a routine in your daily life. Um, but yeah, so that's how we're that's what we're doing. And don't forget to take us along and let us know what you got going by doing hashtag hphp75 day challenge or hashtag hphp75 days. Okay, and let us know how you're going along in your churning. All right, so now that we're all glowing and growing and going, let's see who is in step with us this week. So, for this week's shared steps, I want to give flowers to Dr. Cheryl Carr. And this one is really special to me because she's not just someone I admire, she's someone who she's not someone that I just admire from a distance. She's someone who has directly impacted my life. Dr. Cheryl Carr is a lawyer, a professor, a speaker, and truly someone who has lived so many lives within one lifetime. And one thing about her, she doesn't just teach from theory, she teaches from experience. And I know because she was my professor. I had the opportunity to take one of her classes and she shared that it was a passion of hers, and you could feel it. It was genuine and she was so authentic. And it was it was called building an authentic career. So it fit perfectly, and it wasn't just about information, it wasn't just about getting through the course, it was about genuine growth and reflection, it was about asking yourself real questions and being honest about the answers. And she has a way of challenging you not to become someone else, but to really see you, and that left a mark on me because you don't always remember everything that was said, but you remember how something made you think, how it made you see things differently, how it shifted something in you. And she did that for me. So the shared step here is this sometimes the right people don't give you the answers, but they help you see yourself clearly enough to find them. So I just want to say thank you, Dr. Carr, for the way you pour into your students, for the way you have challenged us, and for creating a space for us to grow into who we are becoming. Thank you. Here I get flowers. Alright, all right, all right. Now, before we dive in, let's go ahead and set the mood with some tips. Alright, so this week's playlist really walks you through the process for real of purpose, and you know, being able to take the time to slow down and to grow through it and finally realize and see it. At least these songs represent that for me. So the first song is Time by Snow Allegra, and then we have Growing Pains, Mary J. Blige specifically work that from that album from that project, and then to round it on out, purpose by Justin Bieber. So now that we've got our tunes, let's walk in this conversation together. Now, this may not be true for a lot of us, but for me, my experience and conversations I've had with people, there's a lot of us, and I was one of them that was walking through life thinking I didn't really understand or know my purpose. When in reality, when you really take the time, at least for me, to look back over everything that's happened in my life and going on in my life, I have been in positions and have been walking in my purpose and just not realizing it. You know, uh my problem for me was that I was looking for my purpose to show up in this specific way in this specific avenue, but it didn't show up in that way for me. And so I kind of had this struggle in life and questioned if I truly understood my purpose or knew it. And it made me go through this battle of trying to figure out and navigate life and the world and things like that because I was like, I felt I had felt I knew my purpose, but when it didn't show up in the way that I expected it to, it confused me and I was left just in a state of confusion. I had to understand the difference between purpose and my desired purpose, and the realization and everything started to click when I was when I came to the understanding that your purpose just isn't always what you pictured, you know, your desired purpose and your actual purpose aren't necessarily always the same thing. For some people it is, and it just clicks automatically, they don't have to don't have to wander or look around too hard. It is all what they want is exactly how it shows up and it works out that way. That necessarily wasn't my story, my case. And I had to realize that if I wasn't and if you're not careful and you get so caught up in what you think your purpose should look like and how it should show up, you'll miss it by trying to force your plan. For me, like I said, this didn't click until I was nearly completely lost. Um, I experienced my first real heartbreak in romantic relationships, and I had this overwhelming feeling of numbness. I was feeling so much for the first time that I just went numb and I shut down and I put on this mask for the rest of the world because let anybody else tell it, it looked like I was living the best life. It was like I was living my life up. I was outside all the time, I was having fun, having a blast. Like I said, when I really didn't feel like dating, I was still being asked out on dates and I was going and I just I would wake up and be able to put a smile on my face and go on about my day. I would go to work and continue on and moving forward and pushing forward. But inside I felt numb. I didn't feel connected to anything, I didn't feel connected to music. I didn't feel connected like I wasn't I wasn't, I just I was numb. And once I finally would sit down and actually start to allow myself to feel, I would immediately distract myself with other things. And I didn't know it then, but that was the start of me finding my way back to myself. So the turning point for me in this journey at this point in my life was when I was an undergrad still, because that's when I got my first heartbreak. I was still in undergrad, I'm still in college. A lot happened in college, y'all. A lot happened. Um, but also I'm only 26. So yeah, most of my experience comes from anyways, that's besides the point. But the turning point for me was when I took this class called Social and Emotional Intelligence, and the way the class was made, you were your case study. You were the case study, you took a deep dive, and we were learning about all of these skills on how to read people and understand people and use emotional intelligence and social cues and sociology and all those fun big science words and things to navigate, you know, industries, basically be a leader and how to be proactive in diffusing situations or taking control of a situation and little things like that. I didn't understand what was going on with that class, but my professor she asked us. I believe I did talk about this class in another episode, but in that class, she asked, she didn't ask us, she told us what you get out of this class is what you put into it. If you show up 110%, then you're gonna get 110% back out of it. And I challenged myself to show up every day, every time we met for that class, simply because I just I needed something different, I needed to do better, I needed to feel better. I wanted to be me again, and so I did that and I showed up. And by showing up in that class every day, I faced some very hard truths about myself. And beyond that, the class itself set me up for my building authentic building an authentic career class that I had with Dr. Carr. Doctor's Dr. Carr's teaching and key lessons that she helped me see and realize, like I said, was your actual purpose versus your desired purpose and how your true purpose in life when you are in alignment shows up in everything you do. A key takeaway that I took from that class was to not become so rigid and set in my own ways in my own vision, to not, yeah, in my own vision that I block myself from seeing all the pathways and different avenues for me to live out my true purpose and also understanding and realizing that pivoting is a necessity, not a luxury. Pivoting is a necessit necessary skill to make it in life. You gotta know how to pivot. Becoming rigid keeps you from pivoting. If you become so stuck in your plans, it can hinder you. That was the first time someone told me that, and I was genuinely listening. I did have a misstep, and like I said, I was blessed with uncovering my purpose early, but because I became so rigid in my plans and how I wanted it to be and what I thought it should look like, I limited myself and I limited my purpose. So I have always felt like uh my purpose in life was to be the voice for the voiceless, and I only saw one way to do that, and that was through music. And the reason it was through music was because music was an avenue for me to voice how I felt, and there was always a song, there was always a melody, there was always a mood, a tone, something in music that I could always find to express the the the thing the feelings and thoughts and things that I couldn't find the words to say. And so I've always felt like that's how I want to give back, and God blessed me with this talent and this gift and this ability to connect with music and connect with people through music. I just I was like, okay, I'm gonna be the voice for the voiceless and do music and be purposeful in music. But because of all of that and all of the ups and downs and the many, many, many, many, many, many no's that I experienced and the many challenges that I went through and faced with dealing with pursuing my dreams of music and performing and singing and all of those things, all those struggles led to a lot of doubt, a lot of fear, a lot of fear of failure, all of those struggles and things like that. It let me I was I that fear, that doubt, all that questioning God, because I'm like, why would you give me this talent? Why would you give me this gift? Why would you put this on my heart to be this way, to feel like this is what I'm supposed to do? Why would you let me experience the love for it, for being on stage, for performing, for music and all, and like in itself, just for me to constantly struggle and have these issues and challenges, and and you you like everybody's saying that when you're aligned and when you're walking in your purpose, it's not necessarily if things just start opening up for you and the doors start opening, and it's not necessarily just always easy, but things are a little easier, you know. Things just kind of like yeah, and so I'm dealing with all of that, and I'm just like, God, what like am I what what's going on? What's wrong? Like, is it something wrong with me and things like that? And I came to the well, with talking with God and getting back in my word and finally having open and honest conversations with him and saying how I truly feel. I He helped me to see and realize that I wasn't necessarily wrong about what I felt like my purpose in life is, but my rigidness kept me from seeing it because I wanted it to be strictly through music and I only saw the path through music. It kept me, it put blinders and blockers on that I couldn't see how it was showing up, how I was living in my purpose in my life in different areas and happen. So once I stepped back and finally was like, whoa, wait, actually, I've been living in my purpose this whole time. I realized it when speaking up in class because there was a moment in one of my classes, there was someone who identified in a different gender versus what they appeared. This person missed class one day. When they missed class, keep in mind our professor the entire time up until that point always correctly addressed the person and the pronouns that they preferred. But for some reason, this day, when the person wasn't there, my professor misgendered them continuously. Well, not continuously. I I allowed him to do it three times because the first time I was like, huh? Did I hear that right? And then the second time I was like, Oh, no, I did. I did hear this correctly, and then the third time I was like, nobody's gonna say anything because this person had friends, friends in the class, and so I was like, Oh, nobody's gonna say nothing. So when he did it, when our professor did it the fourth time, I said, I corrected him and said the correct pronouns. And he said, huh? And I repeated myself and said the correct pronouns. I said, You mean their pronouns? Our professor was like, Oh, you guys know what I mean. We were like, No, but you're not saying well, I said, No, but you're not saying that. And then that was the end of the conversation, but they weren't there to defend themselves, and so I spoke up. That was one of the many ways, well, one of the times that I spoke up in class about something that everybody necessarily didn't feel the power to speak up about, or you know, something where the person in being spoken up wasn't there to defend themselves. They were tech they were voiceless because they literally were not there to voice and advocate for themselves. That's not the only class that I've done it. I've done that in high school, in debates, I've done that in middle school. I've literally done that so many times in my life, crazy enough, in a class setting, not that exact scenario, but speaking up for the unpopular opinion and defending it and having to stand on an island. I didn't realize that, hey, that is being the voice for the voice, speaking up for the minority, speaking up for people or a group that necessarily doesn't feel heard or feel seen. Yeah, and then also I did do it in I did do it also in my music and song choices because I would choose, I was very intentional with certain songs that I chose and things like that. When I thought I was just singing music to help heal me, I can't tell y'all. People would, my classmates, my peers would come to me after some of my performances, and they'd be like, Wow, you really like I've never and it would be songs that they've never heard before and things like that, which also wasn't um a new thing to me or new a new thing for me, but they'd be like, Wow, that's exactly how I feel right now, and or they'd be like, I had to fight tears, fight back tears to keep from crying because I didn't think anybody understood that, and you made me feel seen in in small intimate gatherings, like I said, like class or just joking around, singing, playing karaoke or something like that. I've always tried to be very intentional with songs that I choose to perform and things like that. There are songs that are just for fun and like you know, everybody's got that, but I don't have enough fingers or hands to tell you how many times someone stopped me and said that to me, and I was genuinely just singing. Um so like I have I have also lived it through music, and even though the success level, the vanity metrics of my performances and things like that haven't necessarily all haven't shown up the way I felt it should, my impact has, not my impact, the impact has. That means the purpose, the goal was still achieved, I still helped, I still was a vessel in helping someone feel seen, helping someone feel heard. Even with one of my jobs after college, I was a teacher's assistant and things like that. And there were and the most voiceless group of humans in this world are children because the lack of advocacy is truly astounding when you really look into it and you pay attention. These babies are like they have no real rights, they have no real protection, and people just say the darndest things about kids, about kid grown, grown I can get into the whole thing about that. There was even a situation with admin at one point where they made a very racist, generalized statement and I had to speak up and advocate for my babies because how dare you say something like that in regards to children. Why would you even put that negative stereotype, that negative generalization on a kid event? Like there were there was a better way to say what they were they claimed they were trying to say, but their words that they chose and the way they went about it, they for sure didn't say it in front of any black people. But they didn't think it would get back. But it got back to me. And I did what I was supposed to do, and I spoke up and I said something, and I called it out. Because how dare you? Who do you think you are? But like I said, at the time, I this is after reflection and things, once again another act, another moment where I had to stand up and speak up. I didn't realize it. I didn't know it in all of these moments during them while they were happening. But that was me operating in my purpose. That was me actively living in my purpose. The way things shifted and I was finally able to see and realize it was when I finally accepted and acknowledged the fact that I had control issues. I've talked about this before. Um, because it didn't show up in the way that I've always envisioned about control when you say someone has control issues and da-da-da-da-da. But no, no, I I I had issues with control, and whether it was a trauma response, um, you know, things like that, it still didn't take away the fact that, you know, I really very much so felt the best way to live my life was by controlling my life and controlling everything that happened and having all these plans and didn't realize all of this was making me so stuck and rigid and blinding me. And so the solution to it all was finally releasing it, letting it go. And when I say releasing it and letting go, I mean releasing the need for control, releasing the desire for control, and truly surrendering and letting it go and giving it up to God that I was finally able to see. And then my purpose just started showing up, ideas just started coming and flowing, and things and opportunities started being blessed and bestowed upon me to once again live in my purpose, to actively live in my purpose. But this time I was able to see it. As I continued to go through after this shift and you know, surrender and release, I further refined what I felt like my purpose was because of you know different things in my life. Instead of, you know, just saying to be the voice for the voiceless, I added on there, I added an addendum. I think that's the right word. I don't even know. But so now it's to be the voice for the voiceless, even if that's just me. So even if it's just me speaking up for myself, even if it's just me having to stand on an island in my own feelings and having to advocate and not tolerate disrespect and not, you know, be stuck in these situations and areas of my life, and just letting people dog walk me, letting people treat me any kind of way, me walking away, me not needing to overexplain and fight and vie and prove myself to people. Like, no. Cause also being the voice for the voiceless, even if that's just me walking away. Even if that's just me, not staying in no situation that that does no that serves no that doesn't serve me, that overlooks me, that intentionally is prejudiced towards me. So to be the voice for the voiceless, even if it's just me, because I also realized that at one point in my life, the way I even came and found music and how I connected to music was because I felt voiceless. So why would I not to be the voice of the voiceless, even if that's just speaking up for me? Even if that's just standing up for me. And so here we are now with this podcast and with this platform and me actively expressing and living in that purpose as well. Because this podcast isn't for performance, it's not for vanity metrics. I mean, yeah, it'd be great if I went to sleep and I woke up and I had two million subscribers, and I'll be like, oh my goodness, or you know, if I had clip after clip after clip on Instagram or TikTok go viral on a daily, oh my goodness, if you know, checks start rolling in and all the things like yeah, like yeah, that that I'm not gonna sit here and act like nah, I don't want that, like nah, that ain't that ain't that ain't what I mean. No, that would be nice. That would be nice, but that's not the purpose of this. The purpose and reason behind this podcast is to speak up about things and situations and lessons that I've learned and my experiences and share them in hopes of helping someone else feel seen, in hopes of helping someone else heal, and help hopes of helping someone else realize that you don't have to rush your way through life. Who cares what the world says? You can literally your path, your pace, and give yourself grace through it all. Because hello, we're all humans, we all make mistakes, we all mess up, and it will be okay, even if it doesn't feel okay. No matter if you feel dramatic, if people call you dramatic, or if people, if you don't feel understood, if no one around you understands you, if you feel like no one sees you, if you feel like you are the only person that's ever been going through this, you are the only person going through this. The point of the podcast, of this podcast, of this platform, of me sitting here on this mic, is to be like, I see you, I feel you, I understand you, and even if our exact experiences aren't exactly the same, I went through the same emotions, those same up and downs, the same learning and growing pains. I'm 26, and there's people at this age that have full-blown families, are married, deadlocked in a career, not deadlocked, but like set in their career for life. They graduated college and they went straight through their internship, landed a career gig out the gate. Some people didn't even have to finish college because they started going on tours and they were they've been touring since, you know, like I said, families, prospering, living life in a way that on the outside looking in, it looks like success. And I'm not in those same situations, same scenarios, yada yada yada yada. I too felt behind. I too felt stressed by the microwave society and pressures, and I had to take a breather and be like, whoa. My path. I'm growing at my pace. And the path that has been whatever my path is, wherever I am, wherever I'm going, at whatever pace that is, it is okay. And it is okay to give myself grace. It is okay to be honest and say, yeah, I've made mistakes and take accountability and own up to it because I can grow from it. As long as I put in the work and the time and the effort, yeah, I fucked up. I'm gonna I'm going to keep looking up in some areas. There's gonna be still be some things that I don't get right. Even after learning the lesson, it's still gonna be sometimes it still takes a little, little avoid, click, you know. Yeah, like this podcast, if it reaches billions of people, if it touches millions, billions, trillions, I don't know how many worlds truly, I mean how many world, how many people truly exist in the world, but you know, if it does that, cool, great, fantastic. But even if it's just me, even after doing these episodes, even if after putting my story out there, my experiences, my lessons, and all the things in life that I am growing through, going through, experiencing, yada yada yada yada, even if it's just me speaking up about me and things that I've done and things that I've learned and things that I've healed from, that is okay. And that is me still walking in my purpose because I am speaking up and giving voice to emotions, experiences that have happened to me, that I've gone through, and lessons that I've had to learn. Some of them the hard way, most of them the hard way that I've shared so far. But if all it does is help heal me, that's fine, and I'm okay with that. So my message to you is this you are not lost, you just may be looking in the wrong places that thing that keeps coming up in your life that's not random. That could just be your purpose. For me it was rigidness, but it's also fear. Are you so afraid that you can't see your purpose? Are you stuck in a situation where you just need to control so much that you can't see your purpose? Do you let others' opinions of you weigh you down so much that you can't see your purpose? Do you let other people try to control your life to the point that you can't see your purpose? Whatever it is, I'm I I'm pretty sure there's a bunch of other things. Those are just what just came to my mind. But yeah, that thing that keeps coming up in your life. Those moments when people stop and are like that did something. Those moments of joy when you got nothing out of it, but you felt happy. You felt joy, you felt at peace. Those moments. That's not random. So I challenge you to take the time to truly sit back and reflect. And I promise once you see it, you can't miss it. Okay, so now we have reached the point in the episode where I want to hear your voices. I want to hear your stories. I want to hear your experiences. If you would like to share them, you can always write them in. Also, you can share some advice, some tidbits, some life lessons, all of those things. Or if you may want some advice from your girl, I'm not licensed. I am not a therapist. I am not certified. I didn't go to school for that. Took a couple classes, didn't go to school for that though. But I'll give it the best shot that I got. Okay? I give you some big sis advice. That's all I got. But you know, take it all with a grain of salt. If you would like that. Anyways, you can write all of that in two lettersalong the way at gmail.com. That is L-E-T-T-E-R-S-A-L-O-N-G-T-H-E-W-A-Y at Gmail.com. Okay, so we have reached grace notes. And the grace note for this week is simply that your purpose isn't something that you have to chase. It's something that reveals itself once you finally slow down and reflect enough to see it. When you take the time to understand you, direction becomes clearer, and what's meant for you starts showing up in everything you do. And I want to leave you with this quote by Carl Jung, I believe. Yes, Carl Jung. Who looks outside dreams? Who looks inside awakens. So as we wrap up this episode, I want to say thank you again for joining me for another week. Guys, I can't believe it. Oh my goodness, everyone, this is episode 16. It's crazy. That is crazy work, crazy work, crazy work. But yes, thank you for joining me for another episode. Thank you for staying tuned in. Go ahead and like, share, subscribe, comment, turn on those post bell notifications so you are notified every time a new episode drops. Go ahead and do all of the things. Follow the podcast on socials at her pathpace on everything. And you can always follow me at Roche on socials as well. So yes, thank you once again for tuning in. And just remember, guys, to pause, breathe, take a beep, and don't forget to give yourself some grace. Until next week, guys. Bye.