Loving Me...As I Learn Me

In this episode, I’m getting honest about something I’m still learning in real time… what it actually means to love yourself.

Because if I’m being real, it wasn’t that I didn’t love myself… I just didn’t fully understand myself.

As I’ve been on this journey of dating myself and pouring back into me, I’ve realized that what I was lacking in my past relationships wasn’t just effort or care—it was intimacy. Not the way the world defines it, but the kind of intimacy that comes from being truly seen, understood, and known.

And the truth is… how could I expect someone else to know me like that, when I didn’t even fully know myself?

In this episode, I talk about what it’s been like learning a new version of me. Not because I was completely out of touch, but because I’m growing, evolving, and being stretched in ways that require me to meet myself again.

I’m opening up about the moments where I had to face myself—the good, the not so good, and everything in between. The times I realized I didn’t have the answers I thought I did. The times I had to stop placing blame outward and start looking inward.

And through it all, I’m learning how to love me… as I learn me.

This episode is about self-partnering. About grace. About understanding that growth doesn’t mean you had it all wrong—it just means you’re becoming more aware.

And maybe… it’s not that you don’t know yourself.

Maybe you’re just meeting a new version of you.

—

🎧 Her Playlist
 “Bleeding Love” — Leona Lewis
 “Best Part” — Daniel Caesar ft. H.E.R.
 “Good as Hell” — Lizzo

—

💌 Letters Along the Way
 Have a story, experience, or something on your heart? Send it in:
 lettersalongtheway@gmail.com

—

✨ 75 Day Challenge Reminder
 Stay consistent, stay intentional, and give yourself grace.
 Use #HPHP75DayChallenge or #HPHP75Days so we can grow together 🤍

—

📲 Stay Connected
 Instagram: @herpathherpace
 TikTok: @her.path.her.pace

Follow me:
 Instagram: @reshae____
 TikTok: @reshae__

—

If this episode spoke to you, don’t forget to like, comment, share, and follow.

And as always… give yourself some grace 🤍

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:16

Jason Jason, Jason, Jason. Sensitive Mike. Oh sensitive mic.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Where am I? Where am I?

SPEAKER_02 0:33

Okay. Alrighty. If only if only y'all could see what all I got going on right here. It's kind of a lot. Are we gonna get this show on the bowl?

SPEAKER_00 0:55

Let's get it, let's get it, let's get it, let's get it, let's get it, let's get it, let's go. Ooh, let's get it, let's get it, let's get in, let's get it, let's get it, let's get it, let's go.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

I am your host, Shay, and thank you for joining me on another Tuesday. Hey, we made it to another episode. We made it to another episode. Ow. So sorry. I'm I'm getting used to this. This is obvious. Well, for those who don't know, if this is your first time joining us, joining us over here, this is a whole like new setup for me. I went from having a mic, like a lapel mic, to having this mic. It was on a stand like this, but I had no like real control over it, and editing the sound because I'm not the best sound person, was a little bit tricky. Some episodes, it sounded like I was talking in a big old room. Some episodes are like you hear me clear as day, the balance is off. It you know, just little things, little tiny minute things. Well, not tiny minute things, but you know, big things that matter in sound. So I'm trying to see if this setup works for me or for the podcast and all of those things. So just bear with me and yeah, give me a little bit of grace. Give me a little bit of grace as we um are going through this phase of trying to figure it out. Because if I don't really like how it sounds up here, then I'll just go back to a different stand, whatever. But yeah, also, yeah, and yeah, all right. So we're gonna go ahead and dive right into our first segment called Life Lately. Let's get caught up. Everything, everybody. How is everybody doing? How was your week last week? How was your weekend? I hope it was amazing. We had a nice sunny weekend again, which was God sent, heaven said, it was amazing. It was a ball. I went this past weekend to go see The Devil Wears Prada 2. And here's the thing, not really, I wasn't like one of those people that grew up watching or like had a desire to watch The Devil Wears Prada. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't crucify me. Don't don't do that. Just don't do that. Um, I just I I don't know. I never I never and it's not be I don't even have a reason why. I just never watched it. So was hanging out with my friend and her mom and everything, and we were watching it. Well, her mom wanted to see it, and so I was like, Well, I've never seen the first one, and so we watched the first one, and then we went to go see the second one. We went to go see Devil Wars Product 2 this past weekend. And I mean, I it could be because I'm not like uh I wasn't a diehard fan, I was a I turned into a fan recently, like literally, so maybe that's also why I feel like the movie was really good. I felt like it was a pretty good watch, pretty good movie, pretty good story, especially as a continuation from all of the stuff from the first movie into the second one. And yeah, I don't know, but as I've been seeing reviews, a lot of people have been ragging and nagging about little things and stuff like that. Like, I don't know, about little I don't well, I think they're little, but apparently it's not it can't be too small if a lot of people are commenting on it and saying it. But things people were critiquing the movie about didn't really bother me, and actually the movie itself was still very enjoyable and very great in my eyes. And yeah, I love going to the movies anyway, such a great experience for me, and it was ball. I always have a time at the movies, and yeah, it was great. Um, so I recommend going and seeing it. It was a pretty good movie. What else? Uh what else? What else? Oh, went to another tasting at the liquor store. And I did get some. I got well, I got liquor. Well, I got wine because that was a wine tasting we went to last time. This time we did it was tequila. Tequila, wine, and we did a whiskey, whiskey bourbon, whiskey bourbon. And for you, you you alcohol connoisseurs, I know whiskey and bourbon, tomato, tomata. Keep, keep it, keep it. Anyways, vodka, and it had an espresso martini mix, was really good. I don't want to say the names of all of those things because partnerships, paid partnerships, you don't, you know, paid partnerships. So I don't know, I'm just kidding. But yeah, it was the liquor store, the station out on Y Station Road across the street, from Crunch Fitness in the same plaza as Gold Gym. That's where we had, that's where the tasting was and all of those things. Yeah, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna co-sign on the alcohol that we tried. But it was all good, and there's literally, like I told y'all last time in the episode, is a lot there from you know, you know, if you in college and you're just looking for a good fun time, they got the cheap liquor that'll get you straight to the point, the good fun time. But then they also have high-end, top shelf, sophisticated drinks in there, alcohol and then things like that, and then they have the mixers and all the things, so just go to the station and check it out. But you should also look at their Instagram to see all of the different tastings and things that they have if you are in Memphis and looking for something to do. So, yeah, that's a good thing to go look into because just about every weekend since they've opened, they've had a tasting, which is pretty pretty awesome, I'd say. It's pretty that's a great, great marketing thing, marketing tip. And then we went to movies, ate great. That was my first time actually ordering from the grill at the movies because I usually don't, I usually just get the popcorn and like icy or something like that. But we ordered food, we got food, food, because we needed some food in our system. We needed some food in our system, and don't come for us. We had a we had a DD. We weren't driving after doing all that tasting and all that. We had a D D. We had a designated driver, so don't do that, and we were safe, and all of those things, so yeah, kind of oh, and went to after all of that, we went to BVO here in Memphis. It's another to me, it was like so BVO here in Memphis, it just opened on Friday, and so we went Saturday and all those things, and it was so great. It's like an interactive museum where you can get points and all of those things, and you're like this intergalactic or something like detective, and you're on the team, and you're like the whole point of your mission is to find all of the hidden gems, and once you find all the hidden gems or things, you get like you have a bracelet, and on your bracelet, you can scan it, and once you scan it, you get points, and we found out at the end we thought we were really doing something. We scanned and cashed out our points, bro. We barely we got 30% of the points in there, and so we were like, huh? Ain't no way. We thought we found everything, we did not find all we didn't find nearly, we didn't even find half. Yeah, we didn't even find half of them, but yeah, I will definitely be going back, recommend 10 out of 10. So yeah, that's yeah, that was amazing. I had a blast, I really did, and I felt like a little kid in there, but I think I hold y'all. Some of them call spaces were so tiny, and I was like, and I did wake up on Sunday sore. Oh my goodness, yes, my body, my body reminded me, yo, you are you are getting older. And but I will still go back because I still had a blast, and I like now I'm even more determined to go back because finding out we only got 30% of the points, and then seeing the top score being like 260 something, and we only got like my point, I got 38 points, 260 something compared to 38. Wait, nah, the competitive side of me, nah, I gotta go back and find them. I gotta go back and find them. So yeah, but it was a ball, it was a blast. Had a good time, had a great time actually, and this weekend was just amazing. Another weekend of just just trying stuff, just doing stuff, just to do it. But yeah, how was y'all's weekend? How has y'all's week been? All of the things. I hope you guys are doing great. I hope you guys are doing amazing and well, and I hope you guys are all healthy. I know this weather has been, I don't know about y'all, but the weather here has been a little boo-hoo. Once again, like, even though we had sunshine and all of that, it's been cold. Well, actually, we had a storm earlier this week, well, earlier last week, and after the storm, it brought this cold frickin', and I'm like, why is it cold in May? It's freaking May. It's still like I understand, you know, the ups and downs of spring, but it still shouldn't be this cold in May. It was cold. Like, I literally wore long sleeves to work cold, and there's no reason for that to be happening right about now. If and if you ask me, it's May. It should not be cold, but you know, it's okay, it's warming up and everything now, so yeah. We gonna how anybody got single de mayo plans? What y'all got plans for single de mayo? Even though y'all know single de mayo ain't the real Independence Day, it's neither here nor there. It's still a holiday and we can still celebrate. But yeah, anybody got any plans? All of those things, and yeah, that's really all that's going on in my world. Yeah, so yeah, cool. Now that we're all caught up with everything, let's go ahead and hit them blow up angles. As you guys know, we are still going hard and strong on our 75-day challenge. I'm not gonna lie, last week was a bit of a challenge for me. Instead of reading a new chapter every day of the Bible, I just read Psalms 23 over and over and over, which I find it so hilarious because crazy enough, for Bible study last week, the our Bible study, the chapter we were discussing and talking about was Psalms 23. And you know, uh I my mom led us in Bible study this past week, and one of the questions she asked us was what when you read Psalms 23 and like where you are currently in life and things like that, what what is one word you would use to describe it? And for me, the word I said remembrance, because I'm in the season where I'm taking I'm taking a lot of big steps, taking a lot of leaps in faith, and stepping out on faith and being courageous and trusting God, and I have to go back to like that scripture and remember and remind myself of you know, the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want, and how He is beside me and He is leading me to green pastures. Um, He restores my soul, He leads me down path of righteousness for His name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you know, being here on this earth is gonna be trials and tribulations, and no matter what, thy rod with me, you are with me, thy rod, thy staff, they comfort me. You prepare the table for me in the presence of my enemies, all the things, just remembering all of the promises and him being my shepherd, and him guiding me and leading me and granting peace and prosperity and all of the things, and so like that's why my word was remembrance, and um my mom said, I believe she said her word was trust, because in it when she reads, like it's about trusting and believing that God is like Jesus, like the Lord is my shepherd, trusting and believing that there's nothing that I shall want for, there's nothing that I I shall need, um, because the Lord is my shepherd, and trusting and believing in that and holding on to that and being faithful and having faith in that belief, and then the word the last word that she said someone else had told her that reminds them of it is confidence, and what's so funny is I actually I wonder if it's on here. Yes, I it's so crazy, it is so so crazy that that was the word that my mama said that someone else had told her because I actually have a daily reminder about Psalms 23 that I made in two in 2019, I believe. Yo, yes, it was in 2019. I'm looking at it. It was in 2019 and the it was at at a church when I was um looking for a church home back in college and everything, and the pastor who spoke on it that day also spoke on Psalms 23, and the word that he gave was confidence. And he said, confidence in God and what he's promised you, and knowing that everything that is yours will be yours, and using um Psalms 23 as one of the reference chapters in his message. And so it just brought me back, you know, remembrance remembrance, remembrance, and reminded me of, you know, just trusting and believing and having confidence in God and what he said and all of the promises and remembering all that he is and just all of those things. So yeah, so I haven't I said all that to say. I haven't been reading a new chapter a day for the in my Bible like I've wanted to this past, well actually these past couple weeks. Um I've really been reading and meditating. Excuse me. I've really been reading and meditating over Psalms 23. Yeah, I really have. And yeah, that's um that's been my chapter, my daily chapter. Like I said, for these actual past couple of weeks, probably honestly more than past couple, probably no, I'll say about past couple weeks, maybe two and a half, but I've still been reading a chapter a day. It's just been the same chapter a day, but I've still been reading a chapter a day, and I didn't really journal last week because I was in prayer a lot last week and just instead of writing things down on paper and talking and having conversations that way, I've just been actually praying a lot, but it's okay because I also prayed to God while I'm writing and journaling, so I'm gonna get back into that. It was just you know, sometimes you feel the need to actually hold up, God, like I need to actually talk to you real quick. Let me let me get down on my knees and Lord help me please. And so that's what I did last week instead of journaling because it kind of was just like I need to get this out of my head, off my chest, and like actually talk with God. And even though I'm talking to him through my journaling and writing, I needed to do it in a different way and get in, get in that, get down on my actual knees and pray. Okay, get down on my knees and pray. Beyond that, I've still been working out and everything. I've still been going on my walk. And I actually took Jaguar out on a walk with me last week because I finally got him a harness because I was a little nervous first couple times I took him outside because he is I found the music stray and all those things, so I've been scared that my little baby might run away and not or that he'd be too scared to go outside. But I got him a harness, and because the first time I took him, I just he just had a regular collar. I did not know cats pull on collars the same way a dog will. I did not know that. So I was like, oh my goodness, my little baby joking, or oh my goodness, it might slip off and he might run away. Oh my goodness, you know, can't lose my baby. So yeah, got him a harness. I feel like I need something on my lips. I feel like if I get up I don't even know if I did anything. I mean like look white. Oh yeah, Jaguar has a harness now and all of those things. So yeah, he was actually do pretty darn well with his harness. I can say that. But yeah. Daily walks. So yeah, let's just run down the list again for 75-day challenge. Daily walks for at least 30 minutes. This is my list. Your list doesn't have to be this, this is just my list. Daily walks, daily journaling, daily working out, and reading a chapter of the Bible. Oh, and reading for fun. Y'all, I've been very I've actually I've been I've been very good at reading for fun. I've actually made time to do it. And like I said, reading through the day, reading at night. My goal is if I don't read at anything during the day, to at least when I'm sitting and winding down and I'm drinking my tea to read while I'm drinking my tea before bed. So yeah, I've actually been pretty good about that. So yeah, that's our 75 day challenge. Don't forget to do hashtag 70hp75 days or hphp 75 day challenge. Let me know, let us know, join in the community. How was your challenge going? What is it looking like for you? Where are you trying to incorporate in your daily practice, daily routine? Because keep remember, this is just to help us get into the flow of having a structured routine and doing things that are pouring into back into you and taking care of yourself on all of those things. So, yeah, I feel like I just went on like a whole spiel and haven't even gotten to the topic of anything yet, but it's okay, that's okay, that is a okay. We just gonna keep it trucking right on along. So now that we are all glowing, growing and going, let's go ahead and see who we are in step with today. So for this week's shared steps, I want to take a moment to give flowers to the one and the only Solange knows. So Solange is someone who to me embodies what it looks like to be unapologetically yourself. She moves with a level of intention, creativity, and integrity that doesn't feel forced or performative. She just is. And while she's been critiqued over the years and labeled in different ways, what I see is someone who stands firmly in who she is. Not because she hasn't had to grow or evolve and things haven't changed. And all things that have gone on behind closed doors that we don't even know. But because no matter what phase of life she's in, there's a realness and authenticity that remains consistent about her. Beyond that, her work speaks for itself from Grammy Award-winning projects to creating spaces that center art, culture, and identity in a way that feels both innovative and deeply personal. She has completely carved out a lane that is uniquely hers. But more than her accolades, it's also the way she shows up. There's a confidence, a self-awareness, and a quiet sureness that doesn't rely on outside validation. And I think that's something worth recognizing. Thank you for being you. Now that we are all in snap, let's go ahead and set the mood with some tunes. So for this week's playlist, the topic of conversation is about, you know, self-partnering, self-love, and all of those things. And yes, I got the term self. I don't know if this is actually her term that she's coined, Kennedy Ryan, but I definitely I just finished reading all three of her Skyland series. Um, just finished reading all three of those books. So yeah, self-partnering, that's where I got it from. Like I said, don't know if she's the person who coined the term. If she did, yeah, but um, that's where I got the term from from reading her books, especially the second one that I ended up reading first. But yeah, that's bizarre's the point. That's our theme and thing of topic of discussion for this week, and so this playlist, the first song on it is Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, and it's about I I'm taking it and turning the perspective of you know, instead of like pouring out love onto other people, which you know I have been doing, but it's all like I'm the center of it, like I'm the subject that I'm singing about when I hear that song. And what's so crazy is I've always felt that way about that song because I said that I've I've I've I've loved bleeding love since the time I was a little younger, and my cousins had this karaoke game, we karaoke game, and that was one of the songs on there. Fell in love with it from that moment on. Always love that song, and my perspective and interpretation of that song has always been about loving yourself, and I've always viewed that song that way, so it just makes sense that as I'm in this self-dating phase and pouring back into me and learning me and all the things that I have this song on that playlist, on this playlist, and then the next song is the best part. Um Daniel Caesar featuring her, and it's simply because I am the best part, and I'm not waiting for someone else to finally see it and recognize it. I'm seeing it for myself and seeing it in me and about me. Um, and then the last song is Good as Hell by Lizzo, and that I think that's pretty self-explanatory, and I'm just choosing me, all of me, flaws and all, good and bad. I'm choosing me. Okay, I do my hair tiles, check my nails, baby. How you feeling? Feeling good as hell, because I'm feeling good as hell as I'm on this journey and learning and all of those things and just dating myself. Because you know, at the end of the day, I'm the love of my life too. And no, I am the love of my life at the end of the day. I gotta love me. And that's what this journey has all been about so far. Learning how to take a break, take a pause, and like I've been preaching to y'all to give yourself grace, and but also learning how to give myself grace and understand that all of me, the good, the bad, the uncertainty, the flaws, my insecurities, that all like all of it makes me me. And learning to love every last single piece. And yeah, okay, so now that we got the tunes, let's go ahead and walk through this thing together, y'all. Okay, as I said, the topic of discussion for today is about self-partnering and things I'm learning about myself and all of that. And one thing I've realized while dating myself is that what I was really lacking in all of my past relationships was intimacy and not necessarily like the feeling of love and not the lack of effort, but love and action and the intimacy that comes with love in action, and I and like like I said, I don't mean hold on, sorry, can't say and like I don't mean intimacy in the perverted way that the world has labeled intimacy to mean I mean something deeper on a deeper level, um, you know, noticing what makes me smile and the little habits and quirks and things I have about myself and understanding inside jokes and just knowing a person and seeing them and considering them and recognizing like the small things and just like hearing a song and being like, Oh yeah, I thought of you. This reminded me of you, and just things like that. Yeah, that was that was something that I was lacking and something that I was missing in all of my relationships and romantic, yeah, and all of my romantic partnerships and all of those things, and I could blame them because yeah, they for sure weren't perfect. Okay, but that ain't the point. What the realization and the truth behind all of it is, and what as I've been on this journey and as I've been going through and all the things, what I've realized is and came to t come to terms with is like how could I expect someone to truly know me, to see me, to consider me when I I didn't even fully understand myself. It was like how to a puzzle where I saw the big picture, like the overall picture of who I am and myself and that, but I didn't understand the little pieces. I didn't understand the why behind the big picture. I didn't understand the different pieces that made up the picture, if that makes sense. And like a real life moment example that I can think of is when I was in those relationships in romantic partnerships, was that one thing they all did, which I found kind of odd, was like they all asked, like, what's something about me that you don't like, or what's like a fear you have, or no, no, not the fear question, but it was always something similar or along the lines of what is something about me you don't like, and like they all like every I yeah, just about every one of them asked, and I genuinely didn't know. I genuinely had nothing to say, and so and they would push and push and push until I finally said something. Ultimately, whatever I said, it never mattered what I was gonna say. They weren't gonna like the answer anyway, but I didn't understand because why you keep pushing, but anyways, because I would say I don't know, I don't have an answer because I genuinely didn't, not be like I said, not because everything was perfect or anything with them or you know, any of that. It was just I lacked clarity, and I honestly didn't have the language or the words for myself yet, so I couldn't answer the question. Just as simple as that. I genuinely I couldn't answer the question not because they themselves were just perfect in my eyes and I was just all doughy-eyed and in love and da-da-da. No, I genuinely lacked clarity and didn't I didn't know. I didn't have an answer, and I didn't I lacked clarity in myself and I lacked understanding of myself, and I didn't really understand how to answer the question because I didn't know. I didn't know what I liked and didn't like, I didn't know a lot of like intimately, like I knew on the surface, like you know, um don't cheat on me, or if somebody was relatively shorter than what I would normally go for, or you know, things like that, but I didn't have any real in-depth, real, genuine, authentic answers because I didn't know. And now, as I've been dating myself and learning things about me that I didn't even realize I didn't know, like y'all, for the longest, I would say, Oh, I don't have a type. I don't have a type. Yes, I freaking do. I have a type, I very much so have a type. I have a physical type and I have a personality type. I very much so do. And I didn't realize it until I took the time to like say back, like reevaluate, look over everything, look over all of them, and just find that like I was like, oh wait, you know, you know, you know what kind of makes sense, kind of makes sense. I do have a type. I do have a type, and beyond that, well, I've been learning my likes and dislikes, like my true likes and dislikes, and recognizing my own patterns and my own triggers, and finally getting to me seeing and understanding not only the what, but also the why behind all of it. And you know, I also have like there's a part of me that's just been like, maybe it's not that I didn't love myself because I believe I have, I've loved myself fully, I've been confident in things, and like that. It was just and it's not that I was never in touch with myself. Let me say that. It's just as I've been growing and changing and evolving, I never got to know this new version. I was so stuck on holding on to the past version of myself and you know, all of my past hurts, past experiences, things like that, that it was blocking me from getting to know and understand this growing and evolving me that I am becoming and growing into and the woman and all of those things. And if I'm being honest, there also maybe was a fear there. Maybe I was scared to truly face myself. Maybe I was scared to actually look in the mirror and see all of my flaws, see everything, and have to finally take accountability for things in my life, like true genuine reflection and acknowledge, true genuine reflection and acknowledgement in all of it, because when you really face the music, when you really face the mirror fully, there is a level of accountability there, and sometimes having to come having to face the truth is scary, or it can feel like it's scary, and but now that I'm getting to know me and who I am and all of the things that have shaped me to be the person that I am now and today, and I'm using the tools and all the things pouring into me, learning to love me, the me now, and accept the mistakes, and giving myself grace and communicating and expressing and not being like just learning how to just unapologetically be me and stand firm and being who I am now. There really wasn't anything to be afraid of. There never was anything to be scared of, and I actually think I'm pretty dang on cool, like I ain't perfect, far from perfect. I'm layered, I'm evolving, I'm constantly growing, and it's a beautiful journey. And I'm so happy that I've finally taken the time to sit back and learn it and face me and see the truth behind me. And so now I understand intimacy isn't just about someone else seeing you, and I now I understand the deeper meaning and layered, like the deeper layer behind people saying you gotta love you first, and the way you love you is how other people will love you, and being okay, like I get why because if I'm not gonna hold y'all, I was one that struggled with feeling lonely, even if I wasn't alone, or like you know, being alone and lonely, like the things like just not being comfortable with being able to sit with myself, and because at one point I was, and then a thing changed, and you know, things happened once life got real, and things started happening and happening to me and around me, and did all the things, and yeah, we're not going down there. This is not that, but yeah, it it I had to fall back in love with her, not even fall, because it's not I'm not falling back in love with myself. I am walking in love with myself, and I'm in step with God every step of this way and of this journey, and through Him, I'm gaining giving, learning grace, like in real time and real flow and real abundance, and real prosperity and blessings and things like that, and the realization, and there's a lot of full circle moments and so many things. But now that I can finally face the music and be okay, I I am like I am okay, and I am walking in love with myself, and I'm gonna continue to grow, I'm gonna continue to change, we're gonna continue to evolve, but now I have the tools because I've finally taken the time to do it the first time, like to do it now, to finally just take the time to see me and recognize me and consider myself and pour into myself and recognize my own quirks and not be ashamed of anything when it comes to who I am. Like, yes, I've made mistakes, yes, I've fallen, and yes, I've done things, yes, I've had some dumb moments, and but yes, I've I am also smart and I am intelligent and I am funny and I'm a bit of a nerd. I don't really care. I love music, I love to dance, I love to sing. I actually really am way more carefree than I give myself credit for, but I'm also serious, and it's okay to be serious sometimes, but you know you don't have to be so sobrios. You don't always have to be so savious. It's okay to laugh at yourself, it's okay to make mistakes, you gotta make mistakes to learn, and there's no such thing as a failure, there's no such thing as failing, everything is a learning, everything is a blessing, either because it's either gonna move everything is a blessing because it is moving you on to and preparing you and bettering you for whatever you have to do next, even if it's something you have to learn in that, even if you misstep, even if you make a mistake, even if you you know you struggle a little bit, there's a blessing in that lesson, and the lesson is the blessing because you have the ability to learn from it and you get blessed to keep going and move forward and do something different and try it again, and just all of the things and seeing, like, oh my goodness, and just seeing how it really is okay to be you, and even if you're not okay, that's also okay because those are valid feelings, and you can take time and you can take the rest and you can take the pause and you can take the reset and you can pivot. It doesn't matter what you're doing, you can always start over if you're waking up the next day, if you're waking up the next hour, the next minute, you can always start over and do something new. Like, there's the beauty once you finally release and let go and start loving yourself, and oh, it's just so many things. And I feel like I sound like I don't know. I don't know. I was telling my sister. Um, I think it was last week when we were texting. I was like, I know people, I know sometimes being optimistic and having optimism, it irritates some people. And I definitely was one of those people that didn't really understand how people can be so positive. How are you so positive? But I get it now because it's literally just about shifting your perspective. And once you shift your perspective and you give yourself grace and you just grow and you accept what happens, and not even just accept what happens, you know, like okay, I didn't really like that. Let me do something different, like just truly releasing control, I guess. That's really what it comes down to, has allowed me to fall and walk. Well, not fall, has allowed me to walk back in love with myself, has allowed me to learn how to love myself, has allowed me, has allowed me to finally see me and the intimate parts of who I am and what make up who I am. And yeah, that was a lot. I I don't know where all of that came from, but that's what I'm learning in this season, and just how to be intimate with myself, how to see myself, how to consider myself, how to acknowledge my quirks, and even if I got my own inside jokes, call me crazy, I don't care. I can make myself laugh all day, it doesn't matter, and I finally understand, I finally truly understand that it starts with me, it starts with me loving me, and I understand that on such a deeper level now, and I don't have to look for it for someone else, I don't need it from another person. Would it be nice to have companionship? Yeah, yeah, nobody wants to be alone. I definitely don't want to be all the like in my not no no offense to anybody, don't be offended, but I definitely don't want to be 40 and single and still out here dating in these streets. Like that's not what I want. Like, I'm a love for girl at heart, not at all what I want, okay. I'd rather that though, than being mistreated because I know my worth, I see my worth, I understand it now, I understand it so much more on such a deeper level as I'm growing and like so. I just I can't and I won't settle. I refuse to be mistreated, I refuse to be mishandled again. You gotta step. Like, I mean, don't get me wrong. Standards kind of have always been high. Oh, not kind of standards have always been high over here. So to get through the door, granted, a lot of them got through the door by lying. I fell for the facade. Um, that's besides the point, though. But yeah, yeah, no, yeah. I'm back, I'm back and I'm better, baby. That's a lot you say. I'm back and I'm better. Yayo. So we have reached the point in the episode where I want to hear your voice, hear your stories, and hear all of your lessons and things that you want to share, tidbits, knowledge, and information. Or, you know, if you want some big sis advice, I can give it. Not licensed, not certified, but I can give it the best shot I got. Because we're learning together, we're walking through this thing together. Um, but yes, if you want to share that, or if you want to hear from me, all of those things, you can write those letters into her path. I mean, no, you can write those letters into letters along the way at gmail.com. That is L-E-T-T-E-R-S-A-L-O-N-G T-H-E-W A Y at Gmail.com. Okay. Now we have reached Grace Notes. And the Grace Note for this week is simply you can't expect someone to know you if you haven't taken the time to know you. Maybe it's not that you don't know yourself. Maybe you're just meeting a new version of you. And that's okay. Because we are all constantly growing and evolving and changing. There's nothing wrong with having to go back to the drawing board and learn yourself again. There's nothing wrong with having to go back to the drawing board and admit that you gotta learn to love yourself again. But it starts with you loving you. It starts with you seeing you. It starts with you understanding you. So that's the note. That's the grace. Start with loving yourself. And then the love that you deserve. The love that you are worth. You'll you'll finally under you. I'm not gonna say finally. For me, finally, I finally understand and see. I don't need nobody else to get it. And the grace I've been given through God and the love I've gotten from God has allowed me to finally learn how to love myself and how to be gracious with myself.

SPEAKER_01 45:06

So give yourself grace. Love yourself first, and the rest will come.

SPEAKER_02 45:13

Alrighty, so we have reached the end of this episode. Thank you for tuning in and joining me another week on Her Path, Her Pace, where growth meets grace. Don't forget to follow the podcast on socials at Her Path, Her Pace, on everything. You can follow, you can follow, you can also follow your girl at Roche on all social platforms. All the links and things will be down below in the description. Don't forget to like, comment, share, subscribe, turn on those post bell notifications so you are notified every time a new episode drops. But even if you don't have those notifications on, episodes drop every Tuesday. So tune in and join in on the conversation. I pray and hope that I said something today that will help you move forward and grow and heal in this journey on this path in life. I hope you feel seen. I hope you feel heard. I hope you feel acknowledged. And I hope something you leave you once you tune off of this podcast, tune off of this episode, something has been impactful in a positive way and gives you time to finally get allows you to see you, or you know, reflect or think or ponder or just even if it's just to affirm all of those things, or even if you just listen, just to listen to support your girl, I appreciate it, I appreciate it all. But yeah, so I am signing out, and until next week, guys, don't forget to pause, breathe, take a beat, and always give yourself some grace.

SPEAKER_01 47:00

Till next week, bye.