Ep 18: Weight Struggles, Mom Guilt, & Winning Mrs USOA ft. Ebonee Tawiah

From Chaos to the USOA Miss Charlotte Crown with Mrs USOA Ebonee Tawiah 👑 In this episode, we’re unpacking what it really means to keep pushing when life throws everything at you at once. From losing a loved one to welcoming a child, navigating postpartum struggles, running a business with a spouse, and still showing up for a dream—this is a story of faith, resilience, and stepping into purpose despite the chaos.
Life doesn’t slow down, but faith it ‘til you make it becomes more than just a saying—it’s a way of survival. This episode is for every woman who’s ever felt overwhelmed, stretched thin, and still found the strength to stand tall.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Yeah, I like that right there.

unknown 0:22

I like that.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

All right, mom Panores. It is time to huddle up. Welcome to another episode of the Mom Panore Huddle Podcast with me, your girl Tammy Capri, the Mom Panore mentor. And I am here with a very special guest today, Miss U S O A Ebony. Taoya, welcome to the podcast. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And you took some travel to come here. You took some time to drive to come visit me.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

Four and a half hours, girl. Four and a half hours.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Four and a half. Now, in our time, that's about eight hours. So you was in the car for a long time.

SPEAKER_03 1:03

We was in the car for a minute. We were in the car for a minute. We only stopped once, though.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:06

So we were like, let's get some food, let's hit the road. All right. You know, stop.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

I'm I'm honored and I'm glad that you made it down here. So thank you. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:16

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

How long are you going to be in town?

SPEAKER_03 1:18

So we're leaving uh tomorrow morning. Um so we're excited. We got to go out um onto Main Street in College Park.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

That was gonna be my next question. I said, Well, how long are you gonna explore Atlanta while you here? But you already did that.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

Yeah, so we went last night when we got in, we went to uh we went to go eat. Okay, and then um tonight we're gonna go and visit some friends that live here. So we're excited to see them. Yes, and head right back. And then head back to those kiddos because this morning they were like, my son was like, Mommy, where are you? Oh, this ain't normal. And I was like, I'm out of town. And he said, and he went, he just said, Okay, and left the phone to go back to eating. My friend was like, he's not worried about you.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

Oh, I'm about to say he's probably like, Mom, get your behind here. What are you doing? Where are you at? Lamine got um GPS trackers on my phone. The uh not trackers, what is the location? The location on it. So anytime I'm out somewhere where they they say I'm not supposed to be, mom, where are you at? Because I see you're at this place, and I'm like, boy, the your GPS must be acting up because I ain't even there. Lying to my own kids. Like, these kids, but they are they are a joy to have.

SPEAKER_03 2:23

How did how old are you? I have a four-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son. They're 10 months apart. Oh, okay. Three-day shiving, nine months apart, which is even harder to explain. Okay. But I got a boy and a girl, and you got your pair. We're good. You got your pair, no more, no more, no more. I I'm enjoying the sleep at night, you know, and the ability to now we can do more. Yeah, you know, we are in the thick of it. They are they're full-on toddlers, you know, they keep me busy, but they have each other. And just the, y'all, we went back to a restaurant for the first time. We were like, oh, this is kids. We we were like, oh, even with them, like we went and they were they were so fine in the restaurant. They sat there and they ate, and we were like, Oh, this we can go back to restaurants. Like, oh, you got good ones. They sat there, no, we didn't have to do like technology or anything.

SPEAKER_01 3:19

Hey, Monpreneurs, it's your girl Tammy Capri, the Monpreneur mentor. And if you did not know, I do have a designer bag brand. I am the CEO and founder of Leeche Capri, where I create and design handbags for moms to stay fashionable and stylish. And I also have a Monpreneur community where I'm also teaching moms how to step into their mastermindpreneur while working a nine-to-five and balancing family life and motherhood. And I do have an accelerator class that I want to share with you all. If you have a product-based business or if you have a service-based business, this accelerator is going to help you identify what your superstar product or service is. Now, if you don't know what that is, let me break it down for you. Your superstar product is the product that is most in demand. What are you most known for? What is your voice saying to the people? Because sometimes, let's face it, what we think we're putting it out there because we want to put it out there, we may think it's hitting, but it really ain't hitting. Something else may be hitting, and this is going to help you identify it so that way you can keep excelling. I'm gonna drop the link to the accelerator down below. I'll also drop the link to the community if you want to join, stay accountable. And right now we have a sale for where you can join the community for just a flat rate of $250 for the entire year. Forget the monthly subscriptions, lock in your spot for $250 the entire year. Where we're coming with books, we're coming with weekly accountable accountability calls, we're coming with challenges, we're coming with real conversation, we're coming with real results. So tap in with me on the other side, and I will see you over there.

SPEAKER_03 4:54

They really just stayed. And then when they started getting antsy, it was literally towards the end. We were like, Let's get the check and we're good.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

Okay, yeah, it was such a pleasant experience. You need to teach a class, you need to at four and five. I remember mine all over the table, wanting a salt shaker and wanting to fight, and who got the biggest chicken nugget or chicken. I'm like, okay, yeah, no. But I mean, I just I I love that experience anyway. I just knew what environment to take them in. Right. So but you had them um back to back. Yes. So tell me, let's let's go back a little bit. Tell me a little bit about well, let's let's first start off, let's talk about you a little bit. Tell our audience who you are and what it is that you do.

SPEAKER_03 5:32

So I am a real estate developer and interior designer in Charlotte. Um, my husband and I have been building homes. Uh, we primarily do new construction now. Um, we've been doing that since 2022 was our first new build. Um, going back, we've been in real estate since 2018 when we got to Charlotte originally. I'm from Richmond, Virginia. Shout out to Richmond. Um, you know, RVA. Shout out to Richmond. Two out too down, you know what I'm saying? Um but um, you know, so when we got to Charlotte after graduating college, uh, I started out in healthcare. Um just listening to parents, grandparents, oh, in healthcare, you'll always have a job. You don't have to worry about that.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Health care healthcare doing what?

SPEAKER_03 6:13

So I was an exercise physiologist. Okay. Um so I have a bachelor's in kinesiology and a master's in sports science and rehabilitation. Nice. And do absolutely nothing with it. Because, you know, it was that's how it because it wasn't it wasn't your calling. It was not, it was not. And you know, the older we get, we find the difference between passion versus calling.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:31

Um, and I was just simply good at my job, you know, and he came home one night and was like, God told me there's more for us, there's more to it than just this W-2 9 to 5. Yeah. And I'm the type of person, my friends always laughing because I don't care what you want to do, I'm always gonna support you if I can do it. If you want to tell me you're in a breed pit bull cockatoos, what you want me to bring to pitbull cockas? We're gonna do it. You know, and so that's how I am. So when he said, you know, this is I think real estate is the best aim for us to get into, it's like, well, what do you want to do in real estate? We did all this research, you know, YouTube university, you know, finding out what's going on.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

The cheapest degree we've ever gotten. Look, okay. No debt. Look, I had a full ride to YouTube University. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 7:19

Well, you want to know something? Google is free. Yes. And we're gonna find it out, you know. So, you know, doing all this research, we found wholesaling. Um, and then from wholesaling, we started doing that in 2018 all the way through uh 2020. Um, that was when we had our our daughter. And what's funny, just looking back at our story, you know, it that fight or flight, that sink or swim, we really were swim or swim because in 2020, you know, you have COVID hitting. Yeah, um, everything's getting shut down. I was considered an essential worker, so I worked every day through COVID. Um, but my husband actually, after he told his manager, he worked in finance. He's always worked in finance. Okay, financial advisor. And when he told his manager that we were expecting, they let him go a week later. Told him congratulations and let him go. They let him go due to the circumstances of what society was dealing with, with the pandemic and with everything, or they let him go because um, I think, you know, just looking, when you look back on it, he was, and there was nothing that they should have let him go for, to be honest. Like uh, you had a successful black man working in a predominantly white field that he was getting promoted, like he was getting promotions left and right, leading the team. Okay. Getting promotions like every few months.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

So there was really no, so that okay, the only re the reason why I asked that because the way it came out, and I didn't want I don't want nobody else to get confused, because the way I took it was like that I told um he told his job that my wife is expected, and they're like, okay, no, and they let him go. And and it was like the timing of it was like, damn, she's about to have this baby. What am I gonna do as a man? You know what I'm saying? Like it was that is like OMG, but it's like, but I that's why I was like, was it because of that reason or was it because of the pandemic? Because everyone was being let go during the pandemic. So that's why I was like, okay, I wanted to make it clear.

SPEAKER_03 9:11

It was like Yeah, I it very much so just the timing of it and the reasoning that they gave without uh any background to really hold on to that reasoning was it seems like you had a younger person who I don't know if they felt like he was too ambitious, we'll never really know, you know, and might might have felt like he wasn't gonna stay because he was having a child.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

Yeah, so that that's but that's I mean, blessing in disguise.

SPEAKER_03 9:39

Oh, it was blessing in disguise. Because we took our last of our savings, we had an opportunity to do our first flip at that point from our mentor. He was like, What's holding y'all back from doing the flip?

SPEAKER_01 9:49

And we were like, It takes money, it takes money, it takes fear, it takes it takes heart, but this this that fear is like but that that swimmers that swim or swim that you live by, I love that because it's like like the water is gonna be there. Yeah, the water is always going to be there, and sinking is never gonna be an option. And then once you have that mentality that I'm never gonna sink, it's like okay, I don't care how it looks, but we gonna we're gonna swim. Absolutely. Like that's so when people say sink or swim, I was like, I don't want to sink. We're not trying to sink. We're always going to swim.

SPEAKER_03 10:25

And even when you do find that when you do sink, you'll find that God is the rock at the bottom every single time. And that's what we lean heavy on. We're huge and faith until you make it, you know. And so during that time, we took our last bit of our savings and put it into that flip. And it was literally, I mean, knowing we have a baby on the way, now we're a one-income household, and my income at the time was significantly lower than his. Okay. So now we're losing a big chunk of that. Just bought a house, you know. So it all these things.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

How far along were you into your pregnancy?

SPEAKER_03 10:57

Um, maybe like two or three months. It was super early. Super early.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

So let that let's let's sit there for a moment. Because you have a lot of life changes happening at one time for a new mom.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

How were you like at that in that space, in that season mentally? Because the stress of knowing, okay, the man that I'm with just lost his job. Now we're down to this one income household. We got this baby on the way. Now we gotta invest our savings into this. Is it gonna be successful? Is it not gonna be successful? And my hormones, and I am growing the baby, and I gotta make sure I am healthy, and I gotta make sure. How was your mental in that in that season?

SPEAKER_03 11:39

I've lived my entire my entire life in a a lot of my my life story, my testimony is built around a lot of chaos. Okay. Um from growing up to to no, I wouldn't say now, but growing up even through that, I would say that I've learned how to work through the chaos that is going around. And I I found that I lock in when so much is going on. Okay. And so it was during that point. Did I have a lot of tears and a lot of Jesus moments? Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. You know, there were a lot of I I'm not trying to be on your uh strongest soldiers uh list this year. Taking me out here for it. But once again, it's faith it till you make it. If this is what you're putting me through, there's a reason for that. And there's nothing that I haven't been carried through yet, so why would I fail now? You know, and it's God gave this vision of what our life was going to look like and what we were going to be doing and how we were going to succeed at it. It's just, are you going to trust the vision? Are you going to trust how you feel right now? Yeah. Emotions.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

It takes work to get to that. Yeah. At what point did you realize that you or or how did you build up to the point for you to get to that? Because um you were fairly young in all of these life changes and having a baby, but to have that mindset at that point, like how did you work to get to that? Did you have mentors or were you always faith-based in the church?

SPEAKER_03 13:16

Always always grew up in the church. Okay. I've always grown up in the church. I've always been my parents have really instilled in us, especially my mom, my granny, um, have really instilled heavy into us when it feels overwhelming. Give it to God, lay it at a sweet. Um, and I've always laid heavy into that, especially because, like I said, growing up, we were not always the most stable household. There was always something going on. Um, there was like there was never a point in time that there was not something going on. So I had to grow up relatively quickly. Um, my I have an older sister, but we're seven years apart. So you're talking about being at different stages of our lives, every step of our lives, you know. So, with that, when my sister left for college, you know, I was still in middle school at that point.

SPEAKER_01 14:09

So, especially in the thick of middle school, so everybody knows about middle school, and you really you don't you you you experience a whole middle school was like a whole new world from elementary school and then the transition into high school. Yeah, like I saw my first um young pregnancies in middle school, and I was shocked. Like an eighth grader pregnant, it's just you don't realize that like what your children are really experiencing in the world is a total life change.

SPEAKER_03 14:38

Absolutely, and you know, it's going through just life happening so fast and having to cope with everything that was going on. There was a lot of uh just between like my parents, and there was a lot of like drug use in my family at that point. Um there was a lot of moving, a lot of unstable uh financial pieces, so we moved quite a bit. Um having to really like lock in and control, learn to control what you can control when everything around you is out of control.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

So that's where I had to learn that fire came from.

SPEAKER_03 15:17

Eat and I will never and then just knowing I'm never gonna feel like this again.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:21

Nobody will make me feel like this again. So taking that from then to transpiring to to what was going on in the beginning in 2020, it was lock in, you've been through worse. A lot of I I I say that quite a bit. There's always worse. I've been through worse, and what I'm going through now is not as bad as what I've been through before.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Because we can do hard things every time. We can do hard things when you look at the situation like okay, when you really break it down and really look at what is really truly going on, you know one thing is for certain you're still you're still alive, right? You still have a place to lay your head if that's not one of the obstacles. So you have another opportunity to just fix and get it right, and then dig yourself out of this hole, climb out of this hole that you're in, whatever it is. So you are absolutely right. Okay. You're absolutely right. So 2020, you do your flip. Yep, success. Yes. Okay, were you addicted at that point? Were you hooked?

SPEAKER_03 16:22

Yes, because our mentor always said to us, You do one, and I know for a fact y'all aren't gonna leave. And he was absolutely right. He was right. We are we never left. We went on from 2018, from that 2020 moment, doing our first flip all the way through 2022, then we had our opportunity to do new construction. Um and definitely never looked back. We've done more in new construction than we did in flips, and uh from there, now we're getting into multifamily development. We're doing our first uh set of townhouses um in our area for us at least. Okay. Um, we're doing our first set of townhouses. So going straight from you know, single family residences to now we're doing multifamily development, and that's like y'all, this is a really this is actually a really you look back, it's like this is a short amount of time that we've seen our business scale and grow. You were still working though, right? No, in 2020, yeah. So I worked um 2020. My son was born in 2021. I stopped working the month before he was born.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

Okay. And you never went back. Never went back, never looked back.

SPEAKER_03 17:26

Okay, all right.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Yeah, so your business is growing amazing, and you had your baby, and then you get knocked up again. Seven weeks. Seven weeks knocked up again. Tell me about that. How how is that I I've never experienced that, but I obviously I get I take my hat off to women who do who do it back to back. I think in the long run, um, it's dope because the kids can literally grow together. Yeah, you get it out the way. But I think about those, those nights, like my um my co-host Toya, um, she's not here today, obviously, but um, she had um twins and then um having them, and she had little ones at home when she had the twins. So I'm like, girl, how do you do it mentally? Like, how do you find that time for you? Like, I take my hat off to y'all. I take my hat off because motherhood is no joke. It's not. Tell me about that. So you get pregnant, right? How how how long after, or how long did it take for you to find out you were pregnant? First of all, and then what was your reaction?

SPEAKER_03 18:24

So I have my daughter, then probably two weeks after you know, you go through all the the stuff that goes with that. Um then I have literally once, like literally a few days after that stopped. I had my first cycle, and then after that.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

And then it was the baby. And were you planning another?

SPEAKER_03 18:47

Absolutely not then. But we wanted our daughter to be at least one. We were gonna try again in like when she was one like in December. Um I just I had just gone to see my OB. And then like the next week my friends came. They were like, you know, everybody's excited, Ebony, you're back, you know. And so they came and it the same exact thing that happened with my daughter when I found I was pregnant with my daughter. We were at home, we were playing, we were having a game night, we were drinking, and it just didn't sit right. And I said, something ain't right now. And I said, Y'all mother, and they was like, You just ain't, you know, you just been a wall. You think nothing wrong with you, girl? You can never come on. Like, I'm telling y'all ain't feeling good, you trying to. And then I had to run to the sink, and they was like, so they're not everybody looking at each other, because this is exactly what I was like, oh man, okay, and then that Monday I remember telling Aaron, I was like, I'm telling you, I'm pregnant. And he was like, no, no, that can't happen. That's no. And I took a test and I remember running downstairs sobbing. I was like, I told you I was pregnant, and it ran back on the stairs.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

That is a lie, that is a lie, because you you you experienced postpartum too, right? So that was a lot. So you experienced postpartum with um your first child. Yes. So how how was that for you in that moment? Like just knowing you're going through this, these changes, the body changes, and now like another one on top. Like, how was it for you?

SPEAKER_03 20:21

That was hard because especially with my daughter, my grandfather, who I was really, really close with, um, had dementia and Alzheimer's, and he passed away. Literally, the moment my water broke, my mom was calling me to tell me that he had took his last crack. It was literally like soul in soul out. Um, and so that was hard because I couldn't go home to see him any, especially because it was COVID. Yeah. I'm pregnant. Obviously, he's immune compromised at that point. Right. There were so many factors stopping me from seeing him.

SPEAKER_01 20:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:54

And then to be my whole family is there knowing that it's, you know, he's starting to take his slow decline. And I'm I haven't seen really any of, you know, you gotta keep everybody apart. We couldn't really be with anybody. And then getting that call as this is happening, yeah. I couldn't call my mom and tell and say, Mom, my water broke, like she's on her way. Because my mom is dealing with that because she's there. So I called my sister, and I'm like, I think my water broke. I called my husband's parents, and we're talking, and but still this confliction of I am genuinely sad and grieving, but I am also I should be the happy because my daughter is finally the person I've been waiting to meet is finally on her way. And not knowing how to balance those emotions was hard. Yeah. Cause I even went to I didn't realize that my water had actually broken because I didn't have classes because everything was shut down. So I didn't know what to expect. So I didn't really know my water had actually like broken. I thought that's what had happened. Um, but I just went to sleep, woke up the next morning, wasn't really having any like crazy contractions either. So I was like, I'm just gonna wait and I'm gonna call the doctor in the morning. Turns out, yeah, yeah, you should probably come on. Your water's definitely broken. But then having to like that confliction of call my mom, not having that that loneliness. Yeah, even though I have my husband, you know, I've talked to my my wonderful in-laws, like I've talked to my sister.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

You know, you want your mom the same as you know, his mom being there. Ebony, that is a lot to deal with. No, I'm just trying to put myself in your shoes, like that is a lot. That is a lot. What was the what was the biggest thing you think God was trying to teach you then?

SPEAKER_03 22:50

You know, and even in I don't really think I have an answer to that. Um but sometimes it's not even in having a an answer with words rather than an answer with emotion because I felt a comfort at the same time. Okay because my grandfather might not have been there physically, but I still felt his presence absolutely spiritually. I knew he was there.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 23:26

Um and I really held on to the comfort and the peace of knowing that he saw my daughter before she got here because there was a a moment where he was talking to my grandmother, and he kept, you know, they they come in, they come out when it comes to dementia and Alzheimer's. And he kept saying, F, look at the baby doll, look at the baby doll. She was like, What baby doll? What are you talking about? And he's describing this this beautiful baby doll, and he's describing it, yeah. And she was like, Mac, ain't nobody there, like you know, like what are you talking about? And hindsight afterwards, when you see my daughter, you see that this is the baby that he was describing. Because she came out. I mean, it then obviously there's no way for him to have known that or seen that, but it was towards the end of him being there. Yeah, and it was I think just that comfort and that peace of knowing that you're here, you've seen it. The thing so much on to it.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

You just gave me chills. It's just I'm just so so grateful, so thankful. That's what it gave gave me me comfort to, honestly. Like you, I think in that moment you really experienced motherhood. Like when you sum up motherhood and everything that a mom has to endure to be strong in the most chaotic moment and to still be like I don't know, I can't explain it. It's like in that moment giving birth and having to deal with that. Like, mom, we we we try to balance a lot and not process our own emotions. Like we can cry, we can cuss, we can fight, we can do, but at the end of the day, we gotta sit with ourselves and then we're judging ourselves, and then we're feeling guilty if we if we weren't happy, or yeah, if we couldn't show up, or if we couldn't like, and I don't know if men experience this same thing, but I know for moms, it's like all of that is motherhood. Yes. Not just raising the children, but who we who we show up as, who we turn out as, and what affects us as well. You know what I mean? Like, and that right there is like the start of it because we can't always protect our babies. Yeah, right? We're not always gonna be with them. We don't know who's always gonna be around them. We don't know, we we can't heal all of their hurt. Like your mom in that moment probably wanted to be there with them. Oh, absolutely, you know, but she's like, I can't be there with my baby. You know what I mean? Like, so just that alone, like it's I don't know, is that is a lot. That is a lot. But what what what do you do or what did you do for yourself in that moment? Because I know that is not something that just goes away, you know? Like that's not something that just heals overnight. Like you, like I said, you have to process that. What is something that, what are some key things that you did for yourself in that time or even moving forward to make time for your own emotions and to process it so that way it's not lashing out on everyone else or trying to um um take it out on everybody else, like deflect it. Like what are some things that you make sure you needed to do for Ebony?

SPEAKER_03 26:54

So my biggest thing, especially during then, you know, not being able to to to really and I never felt I always tell my mom I don't ever think I really ever fully process um his passing because you know when you live apart from somebody, you feel like they're just where like they're just where they've always been. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

So it's not like it was a missing. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 27:16

So you know, it's so I feel like I never I didn't really get a chance to to really process that, but I also poured all that love into my daughter. I poured all that love into then my growing son, you know. And I you almost like you said, you have to kind of like put I I you had to like push that kind of away. And I would say fast forward, I didn't deal with any of those emotions, anything like that until after my son was born. Okay. Um, so at that point, you know, I've had two kids, your body's changed a whole bunch. I had gained, I had been the heaviest I had ever been in my for me. Um I was about 250 pounds. So for me, that was that was really heavy, especially I'm a I'm a short person. So, you know, I'm carrying that all kinds of crazy. I'm feeling crazy, and emotionally, I I know I I feel crazy inside and out. Yeah, mentally, I was feeling, you know, I we're my my business has to keep going. Yeah, something has to fall apart. My house wasn't falling apart, my kids weren't falling apart, my husband wasn't falling apart, my my business wasn't going to fall apart, but I was falling apart.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

You allow yourself to fall apart so you can show up in every other aspect.

SPEAKER_03 28:36

In every other aspect. And it was at that point, something I just remember that January, something in my head, I don't know what light bulb went off. Something said, I can't do this no more. And it was that they say you get to the point where you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I had reached that limit. Started going to therapy, started getting back. I've always been in the health. Obviously, like I said, my my background is in health, specifically in exercise. Like that's what I went to school for. My dad owned a gym the majority of my childhood. So it was, I'm used to being around that. And for me, it was like, okay, go back to your foundation. So you need sometimes you need to go all the way back, level it out, yeah, go back to what you know. And that's what I did for myself at that point. So from there, it was mentally, I'm in therapy now. I'm working out what I need to work out. My husband and I actually started couples therapy. Oh, nice. And it was like a lot of times people think, you know, with therapy, something necessarily has to be like, well. But it's like y'all don't want to be. We can be preventative. I love to go when nothing's happening, just totally like it's a checkup, just like you go every year for, you know, when nothing's wrong, you go for a checkup and get your blood work and all this stuff, make sure that you're good. Same exact thing. And we were at that point where we were just like, we just let's make sure that we are individually good and then we are good together. And that helped so much to be like, I see where my bad habits coming from, where all these things are coming. My my bad relationship with food is coming from and working out through these things. And over the course of that point, the gym became my solace, it became my peace. It and I was like able to shed not just the weight, but I was shedding all these emotions, this built-up um of emotions. You know, there's this book called The Body Keeps Body Keeps a Score.

SPEAKER_02 30:30

Okay, who is that by?

SPEAKER_03 30:32

I can't remember his name right now. It's called The Body Keeps a Score. The Body Keeps a Score. Okay. Um, and it talks about how emotions, um, abuse, trauma, pretty much, all this trauma built up in your body and how that affects your overall health. Okay. Like if you a lot of times, like maybe you have like uh stomach issues, things like that, all these things. A lot of the times these built-up over, like prolonged issues that you have are coming from some an emotion or something that you kept that you won't let go. That's why, like, when you go to like a chiropractor, if you ever been to a chiropractor, a lot of times people when they uh when they're getting adjusted, sometimes they have an emotional release, and some people start to cry. Yeah, but a lot of times it's because that's built-up emotion within your body.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

I'm gonna I'm gonna get that book.

SPEAKER_03 31:19

It's a good book. I highly recommend that.

SPEAKER_01 31:21

I wanna get that book.

SPEAKER_03 31:22

So definitely get that. It's it you know and you start to look and you be like, that's me. That that makes so much sense.

SPEAKER_01 31:29

I'm saying it does make sense too because our emotions are connected, how we're feeling is connected to so many other things. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Like, because if if you are not there mentally, like I I don't feel good, like it takes a toll on it, like even it's it's down to connect to how I keep my house. Yes, you know what I mean? Like when I I know when I when I'm about to fall into not a depression again because I've been there, but I see the signs of it now. Okay, you ain't you ain't cleaned this area in about a week now. What's going on? Yeah, and then I have to start thinking, like, yeah, this has been bothering me. So I've learned how to work through that. So you are so right. Like it makes a lot of sense of how it can affect your internal as well. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 32:11

Everything works together in your body, nothing works separate. Right. Your mind down to your toes, nothing works separate or independently of itself. Everything works together.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

So it's gotten a gem and snap back.

SPEAKER_03 32:23

Had to, had to, I had lost about a hundred pounds um at that point. Uh between my son was born in 21, so 22 to 23, I had lost, like I said, about 100 pounds. And my reward to myself was actually getting into pageantry. So it was getting into the things that I wanted to do. Yeah. You know, those were those other healing factors. And so getting into pageantry, and I haven't stopped yet. And I got, you know, now I'm USOA Mrs. Charlotte, and so grateful for that. So going for the North Carolina State title in April and just falling in love with this overall betterment of myself and showing up as more than just mom.

SPEAKER_01 33:09

Right.

SPEAKER_03 33:10

You know, because a lot of times that's what we get so lost in society. Wants to, you know, moms have to be this, this is a certain way, and we have to, yeah. And we are so much, we are so more much more dynamic than that. Absolutely. And just being able to to show all these areas of myself, of being a mom, being a wife, being a businesswoman, um, being that entrepreneur. That's what I'm saying. We are we are all of that in a box.

SPEAKER_01 33:36

All of that. So, how do you find the time for everything? Because I know I get asked that question a lot because I get super busy. And I mean, people they'll they'll you'll answer in in a way it's like, okay, it's what everyone else is saying. You schedule and you're just but it literally is that it is. Um, but I find it it's a little bit more detailed with me when I'm trying to find a time, but how do you find the time for everything else and still have that time for Ebony? Because some things have to take a back seat, especially when it comes to a big project you're working on. Like, there's seasons for everything. Absolutely. Or um the kids may have to take a back seat when it comes to your career. Like, how do you find that time? Or um or how do you deal with the guilt when you can't show up for your kids?

SPEAKER_03 34:27

I think you know, and we always deal with that. I feel like there's guilt in in everything you do because you want to be perfect, especially for your little people, because they didn't ask to be here.

SPEAKER_01 34:35

For the little people, you know.

SPEAKER_03 34:37

Yes. And I think with them, I try to involve them honestly as much as possible as possible. I love that. They everybody knows, especially when they were baby babies before they started going to going to like daycare and going to school. They were in the car with me all the time. There was not a point in time where they weren't going to job sites with me. There was not a point in time where they weren't going to run projects with me.

SPEAKER_01 35:03

Two babies with you to do it.

SPEAKER_03 35:04

Everywhere I went. Blessed where I went. All right, come on, yeah, let's go. I have a suburban and it gets run ragged. Did you have the double stroller with the two-seater? I have mine's was a long one. So I had one kid on the bottom, one kid on the top. There we go. You know, and then mom. And now we have a wagon. The wagon. Now we have a window. I love, I love my wagon. And we we can now that they walk, now y'all can walk. But you know, but we you have a virtue everywhere. Everywhere. They go to job sites, all my all my traits know my kids. Like that, there's not a person in the world that doesn't, because they're if they're not in school, they're with me.

SPEAKER_01 35:45

I love that. And I I love that you created a life to where you can have that flexibility. Yeah. You know, it's like I want every mom to know that or feel like your nine-to-five is optional. Yes. You know, like if you it's okay to work a nine-to-five and build your business, but if you don't want to work a nine-to-five, build something that where you can, you know, sustain your lifestyle and then be that mom. You know, because it is very hard. And I know um too often moms raise their children, but they're missing so much. Like the age your children are now. Like, yeah, it's so much that you don't want to miss out. And then high school years, it's like, oh, you want to be around for these things and show up at basketball games and show up at the prom and not because I gotta be stuck here and running late for work or no, but you want to build it, and I love that you build that for yourself. I love that.

SPEAKER_03 36:39

Always been important. Um like you said, there's so much that happens, especially at this three, four. Everything is new. Everything is new. I don't want to miss a game. I don't want to miss a play. I don't want to miss, even if they just want to volunteer at the school, I want the opportunity to be able to do that. And it's just so crucial that you just show up. You know, I am I will never claim to be perfect. Uh there are plenty of times where I'm like, thank God there's two of y'all. Because go over there and play and leave me be. You know, they they do understand that, they get that, and but there's also so many times where I'm like, y'all want to watch a movie?

SPEAKER_01 37:23

Let's watch a movie together.

SPEAKER_03 37:24

Let's cuddle, let's let's under the blanket. My daughter's favorite thing to say to me is mommy, I need to cuddle. I love that. My daughter says that too. I need to cuddle. Well, come on and cuddle. You need a cuddle, come on and cuddle. Yeah, like, and I it's it's just so like we can do that.

SPEAKER_01 37:40

We can do that. Yes, we can do that. It's it's a it's a whole different ball game. And it is so it is so it is beautiful, and it feels good to say I can literally stop what I'm doing and go sit on the couch with my kids and just chill if I want to. Yeah. And and and that is an indescribable feeling. Indescribable feeling. So you do you take your children with you when you do the pageantry now with you too? Or you so not all the time, no.

SPEAKER_03 38:16

Luckily, my husband is also my um he's he's my assistant when it comes to stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 38:22

How's it hubby? Hubby be you on point.

SPEAKER_03 38:25

Like he was here getting the pictures for you and everything.

SPEAKER_01 38:28

Teamwork makes the dream.

SPEAKER_03 38:30

It does, it does. And he takes them, um, if they're with me, then if we need, if we have to take them like on that particular weekend, then yes, okay. He will he does what he needs to do. Okay. I he is completely could do what you need to do.

SPEAKER_02 38:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 38:44

Um, or I do think, I thank God your village is so important and so cool. Oh, hello. Because even like this weekend, they're with um two of our best friends. Um, they have we saying they're having a cousin's weekend this weekend, and they so even when I talked to my kids this morning, they could care less about me this morning because they were like, we're good, you know, and that's I'm just so grateful. Like, so their godparents do take them as well. When my parents, we drive up to like they'll meet me in like Raleigh, which is like two hours, like in the middle spot for us. Okay, we'll switch a lot of times. We'll either just switch cars or take them, take them, yeah. Take and go. Yeah, and I'm just so grateful, so thankful for finding our village. It took a long time to find our village, especially when you move from someplace to a new place, to a new place.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

Starting it all over, girl. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:34

And just we've we were just talking about this last night. Just so grateful for our village. So, so grateful for our friends. And my daughter finally found her first like best friend in school. And you know, when you finally see that real like friendship just coming to fruition, and and we love her parents, they love us, and we all, so it's just like they were there yesterday. We left to drive down here. We left at about two o'clock. So they went there after school to her friend's house after school. Okay, and then my friend went to go pick them up from my other friend's house. She took the both of them, yeah. Your Sunday's. Okay, nice, nice. And nice. We were just like, wow, to feel just to feel so so loved and just so grateful for them.

SPEAKER_01 40:15

But that's the life, you know how like when you when you picture your life, I don't know if you ever picture your life when you're young. You say, I want to grow up, I want to have this nice house, the white fence, the kids, the friends, and the family. Like, it may not look exactly how you pictured it, but just knowing that I really am living like being a dream. Like it's an entrepreneur, right? But that's that's the real dream. That's the real marriage dream to me. It is. You know, people think it's money and the big house and the family, like, no, but that community, that supports and that tribe, and just being able to, even down to having those um those friends where we could just go and hang out and play cards with, or they could come to the house and the kids upstairs playing, and we're out back watching football and we're just chilling. And it's just like this is the life. Yeah, you know, it's not about everything else. Like what with the material things like this right here is the life. Like, don't get me wrong, the the money and material is good too. But just the fact that like the the comfortability and and the relationships, like yeah, those money can't buy at all.

SPEAKER_03 41:19

Money can't buy at all. And it's the the lived experiences that brought us together. Like Pageantry brought me one of my other closest friends, and we go, my kids they adore each other. And like you said, it's the we can just go to their house. Hey, we're coming over to play. I got a new game. I love everybody. I love games. Y'all got a new game. We're gonna come over and we're gonna play it with y'all first. And the kids are upstairs running around and have a good time while we're downstairs playing games and whatnot, and you know, having other friends, hey, let's let's go out to dinner, and you know, but you can bring your kids like and we all can go together or we get this good, this good center and go on about our lives. And it's just like you said, that community, that fellowship, is it's honestly second, second to none. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:03

So, what is um preparing for a pageant season? Is that similar to preparing for like like the bodybuilder uh competitions and like what is that like and how does that look for you? Because you still got your business, yes, right? And you're in a sorority, and I know how how demand in sorority can be. I know how active you are, but there's just a lot of people pulling you in different ways, and now you have to prep for pageant.

SPEAKER_03 42:31

Like, how is that? So, like you said, everything for me when you say it comes down to scheduling and planning, if it's not in my phone, it does not exist. Yes, if it ain't on the list, it don't exist. It does not. And if I and a lot of times that's how we have to be like I'm like for my husband, like he's on all of my calendar stuff, and I have to be on his because if it's real, we gotta know. And that's how we make our system work. Because it's I he has his own business, I have mine, and then we have ours together. Okay. So that all still has to function and run, you know, on top of the kids' schedules. They only go to half, they're only in school for half a day. Okay. So from 9 to 12:30, 12:50. Like, but having to make sure during whatever I can do during that time, so especially like in preparation for my upcoming competition, I'm going to the gym for usually right after I drop them off. So, like making sure like this is my scheduled time to go. I don't have a meeting until this particular time because I have to set that time aside. Or I have to go at the end of the day at like eight o'clock. I do have some friends that I do go to the gym with at night because they always go at night. Okay. And so, like, I might go with all of them at eight o'clock, but um, that's when Aaron kicks into dad mode and he's putting them to sleep so they're asleep when I get home. Yeah. You know, but it's the we have to be on the same page. The communication has to be efficient.

SPEAKER_01 43:54

Um, so that one has this thing is gonna mess the entire machine. Throws everything off. Yeah, does it put a strain on your marriage? Does the it used to be the working to separately, then working together, and then all over the place. Does it put a strain on your marriage? You said it used to.

SPEAKER_03 44:11

It used to. Okay. It used to. Um, we laugh about it now, but we all we're never we're always very open about it because it's a part of the story. Um when I wouldn't say last year, not 2024, 2023, because I'm like, ooh, this is a whole new one. We had 25 already, girl. Lord. 23 was a hard year for us.

SPEAKER_02 44:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 44:32

Um, and that was mainly because there was so much going on. And our business was starting to ramp up as far as like new construction went, but it hadn't quite got there yet. So we're also, my husband's also very like uh tunnel vision because he knows what he he sees, he sees what he needs to happen. He sees what, yeah. And everything else can kind of get pushed to the side because of that. Whereas, like, but he's a very future big picture person, whereas I'm a very present pay attention now. This is what's going on. I get it, but you know, when those two people that you everybody needs those two people to be together, you know. You need somebody who's gonna be like, I need you to see how you create the balance. It is, it's definitely a balance.

SPEAKER_01 45:16

Yeah, both of us think about the here and now, our future is F exactly. And if we think about the future, it's like, well, yeah, everything around you.

SPEAKER_03 45:23

Everything around you is like gone. He always refers to it as like the movie click with the remote. He always talks about that. And he's one of my favorite movies, and he loves to talk about it. He's like, it's literally like click. I'm not trying to be like Adam Sandler laying in the road, you know, and you call it for your family, yeah, and they can't hear you. So he was like, you know, but that's that's where we were. Like everything seemed to be. I'm like, hey, we're over here, and he's like, but I'm trying to get us there. And I think we had to really have some hard conversations and say, yes, we are working towards the bigger picture, but you cannot forget about what else is going on with what we have right here in the room right now, because it's gonna be gone, yeah, you know, and so when we got on that same page of this is where we are, we will work done. We are not we are more than soulmates, we are helpmates. Oh, I love that. You know, I'm here for you, we're on the same team. Because a lot of times, you know, especially with the person that gets you the most, you butt head so much.

SPEAKER_01 46:32

Of course, of course. I'm gonna argue with you the most, I'm gonna blame you the most, I'm gonna present you the most. I'm gonna it's the easiest to do every time. But you got you mentioned that y'all did go to couples therapy. Um, do you owe a lot of that to couples therapy?

SPEAKER_03 46:44

Or I definitely think she gave us so many like great tools to communicate. Okay. Because a lot of times it comes down to communication. That's what people get into arguments or misunderstandings simply over communication issues. And when it came back to our biggest tool was, I'm not against you, we're on the same team. Yeah, let's start over. Yeah. Or, you know, we hear different things, you know, because we all it's always your interpretation of what's going on and what somebody's saying to you. So we also had to get to the point of after having the conversation, what did you hear me say?

SPEAKER_01 47:21

What did you comprehend? What did my dad say? So then he'll have my dad will have me break down, like we're having a conversation, he'll have me break down what I heard, and then he'd say, No, that's not what I meant.

SPEAKER_04 47:33

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 47:34

All right, well, I understood, yes. And it takes a certain type of person to really understand that because um, for one, if you're not willing to continue to the work on yourself, yes, you're never going to receive that level of communication or understanding because it's like you have to be willing to first peel back the layers to the onion and really understand that you don't know it all. You are capable of making mistakes, so it is possible that you misunderstood. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It is possible that you could be letting some other outside thing that's going on with you influence the way you're thinking right now, so you're not hearing me clearly, or that that's all that that is all a real thing. So it takes a certain type of person that's willing to work on it. And I just want to say, you are like one of the ultimate mom peneurs because working on the business, I know how how how crazy that is. Motherhood, I know how crazy that is. Working on yourself, I know how crazy it is. Now working on a marriage, like not saying your marriage is falling apart, but all marriages still take work. Absolutely. Bringing two people together still take work. It's like we are always working on stuff. Like it never stops. It'll never stop. It never stops. So I just want to give you your flowers and commend you. I mean, because like your story is gonna go so much further than where you are now, and just the amount of people that you're gonna help through, help help with by telling your story. You know what I mean? It's just and and I love I love hearing this. I love hearing that we can do the hard things, we can accomplish everything, and we can still be happy, and our marriage don't have to be crazy, and we don't have to like fall into society standards of what we should look like. Like we are really creating our own, like yeah, you know what I mean? So I want to give you a hand clap for that. Like that. That is beautiful. So with the um, so you have a uh a competition coming up, you say, right? So where when when is it?

SPEAKER_03 49:35

So it's April 11th through the 13th. Okay. Um show day would be the 13th. Okay. And it's in Greenville, North Carolina. Okay. Are you taking the baby at the families? Um, we haven't quite decided. Okay, usually when it's kind of because it's about three hours from Charlotte, so a little bit further for us. Um, depending on who's all coming, because a lot of times my best friend, she might not necessarily be able to physically be at the show, but she's like, I'm doing my part and I'm gonna take my baby.

SPEAKER_01 50:02

Okay, she'll keep the baby for you. Yeah. Shout out to her. Yes. She'll be like, I can't. She knows she knows her role. Look, I ain't gotta be there, but I'll take the kids. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 50:10

She's like, I can't be there, but I'll slide and take them. Um, but it's I think they're a little bit older, it's like when they were a little bit younger, it was a little bit harder. So it's better for them to just go be with like family for that weekend. But now that they're a little bit older, my daughter does pageantry as well. So she, you know, we she likes to see that stuff. So it's not as like now that they're older and they can, you know, I think they might be able to handle coming a little bit more now. So I think they'll come. Are you excited? I am nervous. I'm I think I'm at the point that I know who I am, I know what I stand for, and I'm excited for somebody to see it. I'm excited to show it, and I'm excited to represent and to hopefully take home a title and a crown that allows more doors to open to spread that. Okay and to spread that word and to do more for my community. I am a very I love to help people. Okay. And I think in any capacity that I can do that is what I've always wanted to do, which is why I went to healthcare. You know, not just for job security, but because I thought that was the best way for me to help people. And then I found that building homes and designing these homes and seeing the joy, the pure joy that people get when they own their own. When they own it and they have exactly because we don't design cookie cutter by any means. I give people like the luxury. I'm all about luxury meets affordability. So when I say that it's everything that you see in these million-dollar homes, but at a first-time homeowner's affordable, affordable price point in your budget. And that's what we geared all of our stuff towards, and that's what always has set us up.

SPEAKER_01 51:45

So they could come to you with a budget and say, All right, I wanna. And you can work with any budget. Yes, nice. I pride myself on it. Yes, you're good, good.

SPEAKER_03 51:54

I pride myself on it, you know. So it's like that was my way of feeling like this was where I was called to help people. And so I feel like pageantry has not only affirmed who I am and made me do the more the the dirty, gritty side of knowing who I am, because when you're walking to a room full of all confident women, you know, you better stay on the room. Are we well represented in the in the competition? Um, I think it just depends. Okay. It depends. I think black women, we tend to shy away versus stepping into the limelight when it comes to certain like systems. Um, because we're afraid that we won't be received necessarily the best way. Um and so the only way to to make ourselves received and to to is to put yourself out there. Right. For more of us to put ourselves out there. Right.

SPEAKER_01 52:51

Because a lot of times regardless of what kickback, regardless of what, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:55

You just gotta put yourself out there. I feel like at the end of the day, you're looking for a confident woman who knows who she is, who knows who's gonna stand 10 toes down on who and what she stands for, and be able to say, I'm here under this title, but the title is not me. I'm just happen to have it and I'm a woman that's doing great things. Bad part. And that's anybody at the end of the day. So it's we put ourselves out there, we can surely take it all.

SPEAKER_01 53:25

Yeah, yeah. I've never um, as far as I well, what I know of pageants, you know, back in the day we'll watch the pageants on TV and so, but it's a lot more in detail, there's a lot more detail that goes behind it. Now there was that movie, Miss Congeniality. That's what I think about when I hear pageants, which is funny.

SPEAKER_03 53:46

My friend, that was based off of Mrs. United States, and my friend was actually the past Mrs. United States. Oh, she just didn't. You want to give a shout out? Give a shout out to your friend. Toby Atkinson, Mrs. United States 2024.

SPEAKER_01 53:57

Hey, shout out to you, Miss Atkinson. Uh so that's what I think about, and that's why I say I know it's a lot more that goes behind, even though she was going undercover in the movie, right? She but there is just a lot more, and it's serious, you know, it's a whole nother world, it's serious. So um it's a sport, it's a sport. That's why I was like the present behind that, and and being a now baby girl is is into it. So that's gotta be exciting. It is gotta be exciting. So, where how far do you wanna do you wanna take it? Are you taking it to Ms. USA?

SPEAKER_03 54:31

Um, so I probably wouldn't do that system, but uh the United States of America system is the system I'm currently, you know, competing in. And I feel like it aligns more with my values. Okay. Um, not just to just uplift women, empower women, um, being in community service, but just the what is a modern woman and what we stand for now, I feel so confident walking in through that door. Right. So, you know, hopefully, you know, we walk in, and if Gossies fit for that to be my time to take the North Carolina state title, then we'll take that to nationals to the to hopefully be the next United States of America's missus. Okay. Um, and that'll be in Vegas Memorial Day weekend. So hopefully I'll be in Vegas is what I'm hoping for.

SPEAKER_01 55:19

We're gonna speak it. I see, I see you, I see you in front of people, in front of women, inspiring, motivating. I see. Is that is that in I know you're into real estate and you're into page, but just you as a person, who you are, who Ebony is. Um, do you see that? Um, is that um in a lineup for you? Speaking, teaching.

SPEAKER_03 55:43

Um speaking is actually on my vision board and the word of speaking and having. Um I would love to, I would love to speak at conferences. I would love to speak to women. I feel like the testimony only helps others, you know, to see that there's so many more of us around than you think. It is, it might not feel that way, but you put yourself in proximity. There is power in proximity, you know, and putting yourself with these other like-minded women is going to continue to take you much further.

SPEAKER_01 56:19

I saw I I experienced a lot when I moved here to Georgia. Like, Georgia is a whole different level of game. Like the level of black excellence down here is just like it's eye-opening. Like we were so confined in Philadelphia. And I don't know if you know a lot about Philly, but that whole demographic is not, I mean, not saying you can't be successful coming from Philadelphia, but it's not shown as much as it is down here. Like you can actually see people in real time building these businesses and living these lifestyles and go like I I make it a point and being very intentional of the people that I'm around now, but I make it a point to get into the rooms. Now that I know that these rooms exist, yes, I'm gonna get into these rooms. You know what I mean? And that's where that's how you keep it in close proximity. So um there there is a lot, a lot more out here than what people know, and this is why like platforms like this is so important. Yes. This is why I want to bring as many moms to this platform, to, to, to this huddle so they can see it. Yes, you know, she looks like me. This is what she's doing, you know what I mean? Like, I can do that too. And it, yeah, we got a lot of work to do. Yeah, we got a lot of work to do. But we're gonna show them. We are gonna show them. What is what's next for you outside of speaking? What what what is next for you? In five years, what will Ebony have have accomplished? We're gonna let's let's let's speak that in.

SPEAKER_03 57:49

I hold I hope to hold a a national title. So that's always you know my my goal. Um, but I also would love to not just speak at conferences. I would love to hold a group. Um to have a to I would love to host a conference, not just speak at okay. I would love to host a conference. What type of conference? What would I do? Definitely from entrepreneurs. Um, I have my platform is uh hustle her. Um and just like Miss Tammy over here, you know. Um just showing that there's so many resources. There's so many people that are supporting you that went and started from the bottom, that who just started where you were, that are doing it. And sometimes you, like you said, you just need to see it, somebody doing it, and then having just the encouragement behind it. Yes, you know, so you don't have to be what the world is telling you you have to be, right? You know, nor do you have to be superwoman because superwoman does not exist. Right. Um, I think that's always our hardest lesson. I feel like we have to do it all. We have to know it all. Because anytime you you need something, know something, what do you do? You pick up the phone, you call your mom. And we do that.

SPEAKER_01 59:08

You know, the first thing guys you need to get a shirt that says Superwoman does not exist. You need to really get a shirt that says that. Um, I read that in your in your notes. So when you said it just now, um it reminded me of because I will wear that shirt. If you if you had that shirt, I would buy that shirt and I would wear that shirt. But you need the shirt to say superwoman does not exist and put that on sale somewhere under hustle her or something. I'm I'm so serious. Because she does not exist, and we need that reminder. Um, perfect is fiction. Absolutely. It is fiction. Chasing perfection is a waste of time. Superwoman does not exist. So I'm just saying, you ain't gotta take my advice, but you get a shirt to say, you know, trademark that thing. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:03

I'm just saying, need to, yeah, because I I say that quite a bit, honestly. Because she is like you said, it's fiction.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:11

Superwoman is a fictional character, it's a fictional character, she doesn't exist. So yeah, superwoman don't exist.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:17

So when people say hustle her, you're so strong, or I think they think that's a compliment, and it's like it's not. I don't want to be strong.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:25

I nobody doesn't.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:27

I don't want to be strong. I'm here for my software.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:29

That's why I got married. No. That's why I'm here for my soft life. I'm here for it. Yeah, yeah. No, that um, and what I what I love most about the different platforms, whether it be Mom Panor Huddle or Hustle Her or any other mom, Mom Panor, mom platform, is that um we are all we all have similar end goals. We all have similar um um goals. But the people that are watching, they may not connect with Tammy, they may not connect with Ebony, yeah, but there is somebody you're going to connect with. Absolutely. And that's why I love that's why I promote collaborate collaboration over competition all the time. Because as long as we are helping somebody from jumping off that cliff, yeah from ending it all, or from crashing out, like they say, from crashing out, then we doing our jobs. We doing our jobs. And listen, I'm excited. I am so excited to see where where you are, where you are headed. I am so excited to see things develop for you. Like I just love that. And your story is just like superwoman don't exist, but you are you are an example of how you can do hard things, you can persevere through those things, you can you can still do it. Like, so no, I I enjoy, I I enjoyed hearing that of you. So tell um, tell our audience, or aside from the page, how can people find you?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:13

You can find me on Instagram under uh at Mrs. Taoia, Mrs. Dot Taoia, M R S dot T-A-W-I-A-H. Um, you can find me on there, connect with me, I respond, DM me, talk to me. I love it when people talk to me.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:31

Follow her. Please. Tap in with tap in with Ebony and follow her. Um, she um hustle her. Now you did mention hustle her. Did you you want to leave the information?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:43

Um, so hustle her is just a part of my actual platform. Um, I don't have like a separate anything for it. Um, but I am constantly posting about it. I integrate it into me because I didn't want it to feel separate because it is me. You know, we are hustle hers, you know. We're not, and it's so much more, you know, and I wanted you to be able to see all of the components that go into that. You know?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:10

I I'm not, I'm not, I'm not uh um, I don't know, me, me and me and me and God, we kind of cool, you know. And when I get a feeling, sometimes it just be like, oh, but I can see how her taking on her own brand in the future sometime. I can see it. I mean, it's it's it ain't separate now, but I wouldn't be surprised. And if you do, I would love that. I would love that. But I'm gonna be watching girl. I think you um and for you all that are watching, make sure y'all definitely tap in with Ebony. Leave in the comments on what was your um best part of this episode, or just if you have any questions for me or her, um, definitely leave in the comments and please, please, please go and subscribe. Shout out to y'all that's been sharing and talking about the huddle, inquiring about coming on. Um, well, as always, I am going to give a huge shout out to Lee Che Capri, our official sponsor of the Mom for Nore Huddle. Um, you can check out Leeche Capri at Leeche L E C C E C A P R I dot com, the home for designer bags for the designer mom, go and check them out and use the code HUDLE for your special discount off. Other than that, um I truly enjoyed having you on the show, Abby. I truly enjoyed it. You are always welcome back into the huddle anytime. Um, if there's any last words you think you want to say, anything you want to get out there, or what do you want to leave us with? If there's one piece of advice, one piece of motivation, or just something from your heart to theirs, what is something you want to leave the show with?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:46

Opportunity is simply obedience, opening the door. God is calling you to so much more. You just simply have to listen and follow the path and follow the light that he is holding out there for you. Continue to step onto the stones, and he will never let you down. He is the rock, and every single time you touch one, that is him leading you there. So remember, as soon as you get to the door, you knock on that door, and he's waiting for you to knock on that door to open that door because you are obedient and the opportunity is there. You just have to take it.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:17

Amen. Girl, amen. Look, and with that, we are going to. I love that. I wasn't expecting that. Like, honestly, I was not expecting that. She was talking to me. She was talking to me because I've been listening we're gonna we're gonna head out of this studio today, y'all. But Queens, remember crowns on, chins up, and remember to rock your week. Y'all have a good night.