Why finding your purpose is everything (Huddle Talks)

Huddle Talks with Tammy Capri 🎙️✨
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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Without purpose, you will always feel stuck. Now, this is a big one. Ooh. I never plan for myself to be a single mom. Stop wasting time trying to do things that you're not naturally aligned to do. Nine times out of ten, for most people, most people, majority of people, the answer will be no. I am not happy with where I am on the job. I am not happy with the limited resources that I have. I am not happy with the limited of time that I have. I'm not happy. Hey, hey, uh, it is your girl, Tammy Capri, and this is Huddle Talks. And it's just me and you, real talk, no interviews, no scripts, just sharing my experience. And tonight I want to talk about a topic that I recently got, like, I went down a rabbit hole with this topic, right? Um, and I'm actually building my program out around this topic. Tonight's topic will be why finding your purpose is everything. Why finding your purpose is everything. Okay, so I do have some notes because when I'm talking or when I'm thinking about what I want to share with the world, I always take notes. Um, especially when I am in the good word, when I got the good book there, when I'm reading scriptures and it hits me. Okay, so you ever been, and this is for my faith-based women, you ever been in the midst of a church sermon or reading your Bible or listening to something spiritual, and they say those one key words that you have been battling with all week, they say that one thing that you can relate to directly, and it gives you that aha moment. That's how it is when I when I'm reading the Bible, especially like within the last seven days, right? Um, I've I've been heavy in the word for the last seven days because um everything that I do on my platform, everything that I do in the community, everything that I do in my coaching sessions with my mentees, I always go back to the Bible, right? I learned that the Bible is not just this religious book, right? Like our our our whole perception of the Bible is oh, it is a book of God and his rules and commandments, and I thought the same thing until my ignorant self, I enlighten myself by actually taking the time to seek his word, right? And in seeking his word, I realized that the Bible is a bunch of stories. The Bible is full of sin, really. It's full of a bunch of people, a bunch of kingdoms, a bunch of tribes committing a lot of sin. Um, there are leaders, there are um incidents that happen. Um, and then as I'm searching up these uh biblical experts, I'll I'll call them, um, they're breaking down the structure of the Bible and the books and everything. And I'm like, wow, like I never knew that this was what the Bible is. And it's very interesting, right? It is very interesting that I, as I'm reading, I'm seeing a lot of things play out in real time today in some way, shape, or form. What's going on in the world, how people are confused, and how people are, and I'm not even going to get into um sexuality. I'm not even gonna get into all of those things. But if you are faith-based, you understand where I'm coming from. But I say that to say, um, I've been heavily on my purpose. And in reading the good book, I've been coming a lot across a lot of scriptures about purpose. I've been coming across a lot of stories about doing what you were created to do, right? And I look at, um, I look at I look at his disciples, and each disciple had a mission. Each disciple had a mission to fulfill. They were created specifically for that mission. Now, why were they able to execute it so flawlessly, right? Even if um, even if the kingdoms did not hear them, did not agree with them, the people they were supposed to lead, um, they didn't follow them. It wasn't their fault, right? It wasn't their fault that some of them were imprisoned. It wasn't their fault that some of them did not um were weren't able to pull the people how in the direction that they were supposed to pull them. It wasn't their fault, but they still executed God's mission because they were created to do that. It was easy for them. They weren't trying to do something that they weren't purposely made for, if that makes sense. I could say that in a better way. Or I could say it in a way that um I'll put it in a different example. You have you have a dog, right? A little puppy. Um, what do puppies do? They bark, they play, they chase after you, they have four legs and fur. You can't expect a dog to operate as a cat, even though they have some similarities, right? They have fur, four legs, they're animals, but you can't expect that dog to operate as a cat, to have cat instincts, right? Or you can't expect an apple tree to grow oranges or bananas, right? It wasn't the purpose of that tree, the apple tree, the seed. It wasn't the purpose of that to grow oranges. So why is it executed so flawlessly? Because it's its purpose. It was purposely created for that. I feel, and not just me, it's in the good book. We all were created for a purpose. We all have a specific purpose, agenda here on this earth while we're here, while we're living, while we're breathing. And we don't get to choose when God calls us home. He may call us home when our purpose is fulfilled, when our purpose is not fulfilled. Um, we don't know, right? But to get that fulfillment, to get that in our lives, to feel that way throughout our tenure here, we must tap into our purpose. It is so important for us to find exactly what we're supposed to be doing with our lives, because that is what's going to keep the order of. Now, I do believe in a divine order. I do believe that we are all aligned in some way, shape, or form, right? I do believe that if Tammy does not follow her purpose, if Tammy doesn't fully step into the gift that God gave her, if she doesn't work on that, if she doesn't fine-tune her gift, if she doesn't preach it and practice it, if it never gets out there, whoever was supposed to align with Tammy can't now, right? And those people, because they couldn't attach themselves to Tammy, now they can't fully step into what they were supposed to step into, or they can't have those networks and encounters that they were supposed to have in order to help the next person. And I'm hoping I hope I'm coming off clear. Um, because I get so passionate about finding your purpose and really stepping into the person you're supposed to be and really doing what you're supposed to do to save that next person. I talk about it all the time. We are connected, we meet people not by coincidence. Everyone you meet is going to be a lesson or a blessing. And it's up to you based off of your purpose, who you are, what you're learning. Are you pouring into this person or are you pushing this person to the edge? Are you unpacking all of your trauma on this person, or are you really dealing with your inner trauma, your inner demons, so you can fully emerge into this God or goddess that God has prepared that uh prepared you to be and help the person? You see how how it can go both ways? Um, we have that responsibility to really true, truly find our purpose, right? How do we find our purpose? Well, first, let's talk about um what purpose does for us, right? One thing purpose does for us, it gives us a direction. You cannot go anywhere in life on the road. You can't go anywhere at all if you don't know where you're going. This is why a lot of preneurs stay on this circle, this wheel, and can't get off because they have no direction as to where they're going. And it is okay, it's okay to try different things, right? It's okay to see if you like um accounting. It's okay to see if you want to be a teacher, if you're in education, it's okay to see if you want to be a firefighter, a police officer in law for whatever. It is okay, right? But where are we going with it? At some point, at some age, you have to know where your life is going. You have to understand, because at a certain point in your life, like I'll be 40 this year, at a certain point in your life, you're gonna realize you have more years behind you than you do ahead of you. There are more years of, and I'm I'm praying that there's still more ahead of me. But realistically, 40 is probably midway, right? I got 40 years behind me, may have 40 years ahead of me. Like the average person, I don't know the statistics, but are they living to 75, 80? And those are the people, are they in good health or do they have health conditions? Like, so many factors come to play, but the moral of the story is I'll be 40. So by 40, I need to have a solid roadmap as to where your life will be at age 50, at age 60, 70? Like, where are we going with this? Do I want to keep jumping careers or lanes every five years? No. Do I want to keep switching jobs and looking looking inconsistent, right? Looking as if I don't have my ish together, right? Because let's face it, if you're not consistent, people can't depend on you. You don't look like you had anything stable if you're always jumping from here to here. Like it just doesn't work that way. But at some point, you have to take responsibility and really sit with yourself and have those hard conversations and say, Where am I going with my life? Right. And finding your purpose is the beginning, it is the starting point, right? It's gonna give you a direction as to which way you want to go. Now, if you um if you feel like you're waking up every single day and you're going to work, you're clocking in, and you're happy, you're energetic, you get to work, you're saying hey to the people, you get to your desk or your station, and you're ready to give it all you got, right? Someone or something triggers you to instantly change your mood like that. It could be a boss, it could be a coworker, it could be anything. They instantly change your mood, and now you have this sour attitude for the rest of the day, right? And that one thing is gonna stick with you until you get home, right? And now you are not upset with your family, but because you felt some ill will type of way, and you get home, you're redirecting the anger to other people, then you're going to sleep with this, and then you're going to sleep with the notion, well, I hate this job. And then all of these things are coming out. Um, and you're telling yourself, Oh, I don't want to be here, I hate this job, this is not what I want to do. I can't wait to leave the job. But you just woke up this morning, gung-ho and happy, right? Where do those feelings come from? Where do they come from? If we truly love what we do, what where do they come from? Somewhere deep down inside, you have not had that hard conversation of am I truly fulfilled? Am I truly happy with what I'm doing and with my life? And if we answer that question honestly, nine times out of ten, for most people, most people, majority of people, the answer will be no. I am not happy with where I am on this job. I am not happy with the limited resources that I have. I am not happy with the limited of time that I have. I'm not happy. So, what will make us happy? And I'm not talking about any outside sources like our children or our mates and um our friends and families. No, what will truly make you feel like you're living the life you dreamed? You're making the money you dreamed, you have the flexibility you dreamed. I promise you, I felt the most freedom when it clicked in my head that I am supposed to be helping women because I do it, I do it anyway, right? I am supposed to be helping women and I'm supposed to be building businesses, working for myself to provide jobs for other people. It clicked, and I felt the most freedom, even when my businesses are not making a lot of money. My purpose, because it's my purpose, I'm eager to get up every day and do what I do. I am happy to get up every day. I my business, Leeche, right? And and that wasn't even my purpose, but I love to do it. And in a way, it was serving. It was it was it was serving my community, but I was happy, like my business went like six months straight, straight without making no money one time. Six months. That's a long time without making money in a business, but I would still get up and do it every single day. Like we wasn't on zero, it wasn't no money, but it wasn't enough money to sustain a certain lifestyle. But it was like, okay, how do we figure it out? What do we need to do? Where are we missing the market? Is it the marketing? Is it the promotion? Am I not consistent enough? Am I not showing up how I'm supposed to show up? I was eager to do these things. I was happy to go to work and be broke. I was happy to do that because it was something that I felt like I was fulfilling to me. And then things turned around, it clicked. We got a pivot. We have to sell a certain item. This is our best-selling item. And it clicked, right? And when coaching and mentorship, when that fell into my lap, now, now mind you, I had always been a mentor, even before I been paid to do it, right? I was always helping neighbors, my younger cousins, my friends, college, um, um, college associates, whatever, right? I was always mentoring somebody in some way, shape, or form. I just wasn't putting a name on it and getting paid to do it, right? But when I learned that I could actually take my personal skill set and actually create a business around it, because people, I mean, there you can monetize off of anything. Let's let me just put that out there. You can monetize off of anything. There is an audience for every single thing. You name it, I guarantee you there's an audience for it, right? And if you name it, and if you love it, if you realize this is something that I've always been doing, right? If I look at my patterns out of all the jobs that I've had, if I look at that, what do they all have in common, right? What do they all have in common? Are they all management positions? Uh um, are they all positions where I can express myself creatively? Um, what do they have in common? And then what are the people saying around me that um I'm most known for, right? My dad used to tell me, girl, you're gonna be a superstar one day. He used to tell me, you are gonna be a superstar one day. Because everything that I was doing, I was shining, right? Even in my darkest, my lowest moments in my life, I was always shining, striving for the best. I was always taking initiative. I was, I wasn't scared to take a chance. Even though I was petrified, I did it anyway. And those qualities, my dad told me, um, I was always gonna be a star. Shout out to you, dad. But um I say that to say, whatever the patterns are, let's start there, right? What is it that you like to do if you weren't getting paid for it, what would you still be doing? And then let's think about how can we turn that into a business, using that as a tool to turn it into a business to help someone else get from their A to B to C. Because I can assure you, I can assure you, the people that are taking their um entrepreneurship journey seriously, they are paying people to help them figure it out. Why? Because it takes too long to figure it out on your own. It takes too long to get to the solution on your own. I would rather, and I am one of those people, I would rather pay someone to help me with a problem that I can solve in two months over it taking me 10 months to figure it out, and I didn't have to pay nobody. Why? Because I can get to my money quicker, I could get to the problem quicker, I can get to growing quicker, I can get to helping people quicker, I can get to growing the business quicker, I can get to scale in the business quicker, I can get to hiring people quicker. All because I bought people in, I paid for people to come in to help me, help me in these areas that I need help because I don't know it all. I don't want to know it all. And for you solopreneurs, for the moms that are doing it on their own, stop hustling backwards. Stop hustling backwards. If you're making money in your business, if you are making money in your business, you want to bring those people in that can help you in the areas that you truly need help so you can continue to focus on your purpose, so you can continue to focus on your purpose. Say it one more time so you can continue to focus on your purpose. Everybody has a role. Their purpose may be accounting, their purpose may be handling your books or maybe handling your marketing. It's okay for you to learn these things, but let them fulfill their purpose while you fulfill yours and stop wasting time trying to do things that you're not naturally aligned to do. And I'm gonna get off my soapbox and I'm going to go to number two, why finding your purpose? Um, number two, without purpose, you will always feel stuck. Now, this is a big one. Ooh, you're gonna always feel stuck. I can remember, I can remember working at um, I was a supervisor at at uh um a place. Well, I'm not gonna say the name of the place, but it was in Philadelphia, and I was a supervisor. I was just out of school, fresh out of college, and I landed this job, right? My son was a baby. Um, and his dad, um, me and his dad was on a split, and we weren't married at the time. We didn't marry, we didn't get married until 2012. Um, but this was was around like 08, 09, right? And me and his dad was on a split at the time, and I had just um I had just got a house. Not I didn't purchase a house, I was renting a house. And side note, back then, y'all, do y'all remember when rent for a house was like $700? $800. Do y'all remember that? My rent, okay. My rent was $750. Okay. $750. I was making about $60,000 back then. Uh uh, $60,000 a year back then. And I had enough to pay all of my bills, um, mostly all of my bills on one check. Y'all know I thought I was balling. But anywho, um, but I remember working at this job, and I remember my son, I was uh a new mom, and I was by myself, and I remember thinking to myself, I did not, I never planned for myself to be a single mom. I did not have this life set out for me where I had to get up, four in the morning, get my baby ready, take him to my grandmother's house, then drive an hour to work, then come back and get him and do it all again the next day by myself. I did not expect that, and I felt horrible because my baby was a baby, like he wasn't even walking yet. Then up there, we had really, really bad winters, right? We had snow that would snow back the back, it would go to your ankles, to your calves, whatever. And I'm the type of person I do not like to go out in the snow. But then I had no choice, right? And I remember having to take him to my grandmother's house because I still had to work. We still had to go on those snow days. And I slipped and I didn't fall down the steps, but I slipped and I caught myself and I almost dropped him. And I just stood there and I and I started crying. I really started crying. For one, I'm like, his daddy should be here. Like, where are you? Like, why are you not here? Like, this is too much. And then for two, I'm like, I don't want to have to be in a predicament where I'm I feel like I'm struggling, not financially, but because this weather is horrible, I am risking my life. Like, and I and I'm I'm just coming down the steps at this point. But I'm risking my life, getting in a car, driving to my grandmother's house to drop him off, then drive an hour to work in this bad weather. Like it was bad, y'all. It wasn't like the roads wasn't even really clear anyway, um, that much, because remind you, it was early in the morning, right? They don't really salt the streets or get the plows out until five or six, but I had to get up at four so I could make it on time for work. But I got up a little bit earlier because it was snowing, and then it was still snowing as I'm like, it's like 3:30 in the morning, right? And I and I just I felt so bad, like I have to go to work because if I don't go to work, how am I gonna pay my bills? How am I gonna take care of my son? How am I gonna do and I'm doing it by myself? And I felt so stuck. I felt like I had to do this, I didn't have an option, I didn't have a choice. I had to get up and do this. And I know some people might say, well, you shouldn't have had a baby. Why are you out there having a baby? I was grown. Let me say that. I was grown, I graduated college, and I was in a relationship, right? We can't predict what's gonna happen after babies come. You can't predict what's gonna happen in your life. So for those who want to judge and say, Well, you had the baby, you gotta, okay, I understand that. And I made it do what it do, but that doesn't take away the feeling of feeling helpless and stuck, right? Some people, it'll motivate them, some people, it'll make them fold. Fortunately, I had the personality where I don't fold. Tammy is going to figure it out, but I felt stuck like I had no choice. And I remember saying to myself, I was not put here to live this life. And I looked at my baby, I looked at Damien, and I told that little boy, and of course he ain't gonna remember because he was a baby, but I told that little boy that he will have the best life that I can provide. I don't care if I gotta work, till I'm blue in the face, until my knuckles are raw, but I refuse, I refuse to have a life where my children gotta feel like they have to struggle, that I can't offer resources, that I can't leave something for them, right? He has been my motivation from day one. My son made me grow up. My son taught me how to be a mother. He was the first one that I loved more than I loved myself. The very first one that I've ever had that feeling. And when I made that promise to him, I kept it. I kept it. I always had a love for creative arts. So I went to Chain University for theater arts. That was one of my majors. Um, I was writing plays, writing books. Um, so I had this book that I had been working on, and I didn't I didn't put it out then, but I was working on it, right? Um eventually um his father and I got back together to make our family work and and and went on to getting married. Um, and then I went on to, you know, starting the publishing company. But that moment of feeling stuck is because I didn't know what my purpose was. I didn't know what I could do, what I wanted to do. Yes, I had degrees, but I didn't know what I could do or what I wanted to do. And that was that was the battery that I needed to get me going, to really start thinking about what I want with my life. What do I want to be? What do I want to do? And it turned on a grind like no other. It turned on the switch that ain't never come off. I don't care what I was going through. That switch ain't never ever come off. And this is why I am proud of, you know, the woman and the transformation that that that happened. I can honestly say, like, I don't have the world, but I pray to God I never lose my drive to try to get to that next level. I pray to God I never lose that. Because it's unfortunate that a lot of people never tap into that level of belief in themselves. It is unfortunate that people are wasting their potential because they don't have a purpose or they feel like they don't have a purpose. And I don't want you, I don't want you, yes, I'm talking to you right there. I don't want you to feel like that. So if you feel like you don't know what your purpose is, or if you feel like you don't know where to start, send me a message. Send me a message, let's talk about it, let's have that conversation because it's important, right? It's important to live a life that you desire to live on your own terms. I'm not saying that it's an easy road, it is not an easy road, it is not a road that we're just gonna fly through and it'll happen. It may take a few years, but starting somewhere and understanding it, I promise you, it's gonna make the world of a difference. It's gonna make the world of a difference. So that way, in a few years, and for some people it don't even take that long, but at least you know that there's an out to your situation. You know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We just have to find our purpose. Now, and my last point that I'm gonna make is purpose leads to fulfillment and financial freedom. Fulfillment and financial freedom, freedom. Now, there has always been uh a stipulation around the coaching industry, um, the mentorship, entrepreneurs, what they're doing with their business, and is people really making it? Are they really making this money? Are they fraud and y'all? There are some people out here that are moving and shaking. There are some people out here that are that that's making money, okay? And it's not about the money, it's not about it, okay. How can I explain this? We need resources, right? We need money to live, we need money to be able to help other people, we need money to be able to give back. We need money, right? We work for money. There's nothing wrong with having money or making money. Why can't we make money off of our natural purpose? Why do we get so guilty when we talk about charging people for teaching them the things that we know? Why? Why do we feel like that? You really have to change how you view the dollar, how you view money. Money is a resource, money is a tool, and that is all it is. We don't worship money. We need money because it's the law, it's the way it is the law of the land, and we have to abide by the laws of the land, right? That was in the Bible. And unfortunately, that is our currency. Um, back in the biblical days, they use food and fruits and grains and and and um and animals as a bartering system, right? Nowadays, we use money, no one gets anything for free. There's always a trading system, there's always something that you're going to give or gain, whether it's bartering or whether it's purchasing with an actual currency. It is the way of the world. We need to change how we view money. It is okay to earn money, especially if you're helping and serving. Right? If you're helping and if you're serving, that makes your life all the more fulfilled because now you're loving what you do. It's coming natural what you do. You're gonna fine-tune your purpose to get better at what you do to help more people and to get more income. Does that make sense? Does that make sense? You're going to use your purpose in whatever way, shape, or form, whether that looks like writing a book, right? It costs money to write a book. You're not going to write a book and get it, give it away for free. And if you are, it has to lead to something else. It's going to be a bigger, you know, um, a bigger payout because you just can't afford to give everything you do away for free. You can't afford to create things. I can't create a leeche bag that costs me X amount of dollars and just give it to the world for free. Um I don't have it. If I had it like that, I would. But you're going to find whatever your purpose is. If your purpose is teaching, if your purpose is teaching um moms how to braid hair, right? And you want to write a book, an actual picture book of how we braid hair, how you're going to write that book and you're going to sell it. You're still providing a service, you're still helping, but it's something you naturally are aligned with doing, right? If you are a mentor, if you work with children, if whatever the case is, there's always something that you can do. There's always something that you can do. You can start to start your path to financial freedom. But you have to believe you can do it, and you have to be okay with doing it. You have to be okay with making the money to do it. You have to believe that you're the right person to do it. You have to believe that you're helping people, you have to want to do it, you have to know it, right? We don't have to have college degrees to help people. We don't have to have um doctorate degrees. We don't have to, for certain professions, yes. But when we're helping people, if I'm helping you solve a problem that's going to be the difference of you making $10,000 in your business and $50,000 in your business just by me helping you with this one area that's valuable to that business owner. That's valuable to them. So we need to change the way we see our purpose and monetizing off of that and just find the vehicles to help us get our mission out there sooner. Take action fast and get it done. And again, if you don't know how to do that, if you're stuck and if you need that help, you can always come to my side of social media and tap in with me. Send me a message, send me a DM, schedule a clarity call. Let's get it done, let's get the work. But you have to be ready because everybody can lead you to the water, but we can't make you drink. And I'm gonna say this one last thing, and I'm not gonna talk your heads all. I'm gonna say this one last thing. But you need to ask yourself, right? Am I just existing? Am I just existing? Or am I truly living? Are my children happy? Can I show up for my family? Can I show up in a way I need to show up for my friends? Am I missing out on big events with my children? Do I have enough money to say, hey, if I don't, if I want to go on a trip this weekend, I can just go ahead and make it happen? Do I have enough money to sit in the bank to say, if I if I if I wanted to take a month off right now, will I still be okay financially? Chances are we're not. Chances are we're not. So ask yourself, how do I see myself in the future? Who do I see myself as? What type of money do I see myself making? Ask yourself those things and then start putting in the motion in the plan to help you get there. What do I need to do to get there? I need to find what my purpose is. And I want to thank y'all for joining me. Thank y'all for tuning in. If you enjoyed this episode, if this was helpful to you, please comment. Let me know in the comments. Like, share, and subscribe. And as always, don't forget to