Ep 24: Do You Really Need a Stylist to Build a Personal Brand

In this episode of The Mompreneur Huddle, I sat down with Philly native and personal brand architect De’Starr to talk about how style is more than fashion — it’s strategy.

We dove into what it really means to “dress like your brand,” why showing up styled matters, and how faith and identity play a major role in your business presence. This convo wasn’t just cute outfits — it was real talk on branding, motherhood, and showing up for God, yourself, and your calling.

🎧 Watch if you’ve ever asked:

“Do I really need a stylist?”

“How do I build a personal brand as a mom?”

“Can I mix faith and fashion in business?”

💼✨ Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE for more real conversations about motherhood, business, and living intentionally!

🌟 Our Official Sponsor:
Visit https://www.leccecapri.com for stylish, high-quality bags made for women like YOU!  Use code Huddle for 20% off


💬 Want to Be a Guest on The Huddle? 
visit https://linktr.ee/tammycapri and click be a guest!

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to another episode of the Montanor Huddle Podcast. I am your girl, Tammy Capri, the Montanor Mentor, and this is the place where motherhood and entrepreneurship meet, and we talk about everything in between.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

What we do. Girl, you the boss, Mom. Baby girl, you so perfect, girl, you the boss mob. Making everything worth it, girl, you the boss, mob. Staying on all of your business, and when it comes to investment, then baby girl, you the red girl, you the boss, mom. Yeah, I like that right there.

unknown 0:32

I like that right there.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

Today I have an amazing, phenomenal fashionista here with me today by the name of Miss Star coming all the way from Philadelphia, joining me in the huddle. What's up, girl? Hey, boo. Yeah, she rock star today. She rock star lifestyle.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

Night on making it. Yes. How are you? I'm doing wonderful.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

And listen, I did I mention she was from Philly. Did I mention? Welcome. Welcome to Atlanta. Now, this is not your first time here, though.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

No, I honestly am in Atlanta about four to six times a year. Okay. Okay. Four to six days every time I come. So I might as well get me a little condo, a little house, a little something. Because I spend a lot of time here.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

Yeah, so you you work in. You working, working. Yeah. The fashionista, stylist. Or no, you say the image architect.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Correct.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Yes, the image architect. Tell tell the viewers a little bit about you and what it is that you do.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

So um I started out in the world as a cosmetologist. Okay. I grew up around the hair industry. You know, back in our day, you worked in the hair salon, you swept up, they taught you how to do little finger wave, little microwave. Shampoo girl in everything. Run to the store, give Miss Mary her little sandwich and her piece of pizza. Next, you moved up to the microwave ponytails and you would roll the rods at the ponytail.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Wait, what's the microwave ponytails?

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Alright, so listen, let me tell you this trick. Back in the day, back in the 90s, right? If you want a little Shirley Temple or a really curly ponytail, the hairstylist will mousse it down, whether them or get that wrap and tap set in lotion, and they will roll it up. And then once they roll it up, they would put the ponytail in the microwave and cook it in there.

SPEAKER_02 2:11

Oh, so the curl can stuff.

SPEAKER_01 2:13

And honey, those curls would last for weeks.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

I never heard of that method. Check it out.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

The microwave ponytail. That's what I was gonna say. Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

So wait a minute. So that that's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

So you've always had a love for style and look. Always the the the appearance. What made you get into that?

SPEAKER_01 2:31

So I loved, I've always loved since I was a little girl, making things pretty.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

So hair was like a second nature. Learning how to do hair came easy as like riding a bike. Okay. But I slowly learned that that wasn't my passion. While I can do it, I wasn't passionate about it. It was just something that I knew how to do well.

SPEAKER_02 2:49

Yeah, it makes a difference to be passionate behind it. It does.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

So in the two the early 2000s, I don't know if you're familiar with the show What Not to Wear.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

What not to wear, no?

SPEAKER_01 2:59

Yes, it was a makeover show back in the day with Stacey and Clint. And it was a makeover show, and they worked people in, and you would have to bring your entire wardrobe to New York where they were, and he literally threw your clothes out and told you, No, this serves you no purpose. And then we give you a credit card to go shopping and help you build a whole new wardrobe. But only after they taught you how to dress your body, okay, how to make your body look good. And it was literally the first day, the first episode that I knew what my purpose was, and that literally was like 2000, 2001.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

So that was what got you hooked.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

I was actually addicted ever since.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

Nice, nice. Ever since. But so it's like when you know you know though. You do. When you know you know, and if you don't move on it, opportunities are missed. They are opportunities are missed. So tell me, tell me about the the love for it. Because I mean, I I I feel like everything that we do stems from something.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

Right.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

Um childhood or just I know even doing hair. What made you want to do like as a little kid, as a as a young star, I would say.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

So as I can say, because I'm actively in therapy and I'm healing, okay. This is a trauma, a childhood trauma response.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

Okay, so you're aware of that.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Because I didn't feel like I had it, because uh my family may not have had the money to keep me in the latest, the newest. I would find innovative, innovative ways to make what I did have look good, whether I was cutting up a shirt, whether I was stitching two shirts together, or I was turning jeans into a skirt. I found innovative ways to make what I had look really good, in a way that looked good to me.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

Yeah. So you you build up your own self-confidence in a way by by doing that. I did. Now, did you find it hard for you to step out on that? Because when is when it's from a childhood trauma, and it is amazing that you're you're vocal about being in therapy, I commend you about talking about it, because that's something that we don't really normalize in the black community. No, not at all. And we need to start doing that, but um I commend you for that. But even building up the confidence to step out on that, was that hard for you?

SPEAKER_01 5:02

So I knew it was my calling when I was doing that more than my nine to five. So because I was trying to break um the stigma, um, a lot of my family, you know, love them, but they didn't have college degrees, they didn't have corporate jobs. So my goal was to get a degree, get a big girl job, work with a big girl company. So here I was being a director of ops, the call center managers, the directors, all these corporate positions when I found myself talking to people about their wardrobe and their hair and how to fix their makeup. Okay. And even when I would interview people and know I wasn't gonna hire them, I would tell them, listen, baby, the next time you get $25, go to Mad Frame, get you one good pair of black legs, one good white shirt, and you only pulled it out for your interviews. I found myself wanting to help people look and feel good.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

That is dope. That is dope. You knew you wasn't gonna hire them and you're still pouring into them and you're gonna be able to do that. For sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, that is amazing.

SPEAKER_01 5:55

For sure, because some people they come to the interview and those Ugs and those tights in this t-shirt because that's all they have.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

So I always will finish the interview, never would treat them any less respectful than I did someone in a suit. But I also let them know the next time you get a spare $25, get you an interview outfit and literally keep it in the back of your closet solely for your interviews. Right.

SPEAKER_02 6:16

Because it's it's so important. And the lack of knowledge behind it is it's it's really hindering a lot of black women because we think, and I was one of them, I was one of them, she can tell you. Um, and I had a conversation with her that it was it was a difference from having someone, you know, pick out your outfits and help you versus someone actually styling you and and curating your whole look because it gives you one. Let me tell y'all, she she's she's responsible. Um I'm gonna give y'all a little content behind today. So we had a busy day. A very busy day. We had a busy day. So um two days. Two days. We had a very busy two days. Um, star is actually my stylist, my new stylist, and I am just like spoiled already. Um, so I I was I was telling her how how good I felt once the looks came together, right? And even she noticed a difference, right? So that confidence will show up once the look is there, and this is something that we don't understand if we've never experienced it. A lot of women think that they can just put the outfit together or buy it, and it'll hit the same as having someone actually, you know, curate it for you, make that look up. Tell, um, share with me or explain to me what is the biggest setback or barrier when it comes to that and trying to really convey that message to black women.

SPEAKER_01 7:44

Okay, so I'll first start by saying everyone has their own swag.

SPEAKER_02 7:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

And it's in their head. Whether they are able to push that through in how they dress, and if they don't, it's in their head. So my goal is before I even buy a t-shirt for a client, I like to sit down and get to know them. I like to understand what it is that they do, what does their lifestyle look like, who is it that they wish they could look like? If they could pick one person, one celebrity, even one imaginary person, like who would it be? Yeah, like and I would and that allows me to see where they see themselves.

SPEAKER_02 8:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

Because if you felt like you had the money, because here's where I removed the stigma, you feel like if I had the money, I would dress just like her. If I had the money, I would dress like her. And one thing I teach my clients is you don't have to break the bank to look good.

SPEAKER_02 8:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

And like even when we met, when I'm virtual styling or having to work with someone initially from a distance, I instantly know what I want to do. But until I build that trust with my client, it is a a tug and pull. Okay. Because I'm not gonna say you were resistant, but I came as a referral, but you didn't know me no more.

SPEAKER_02 8:51

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

So I was a little, I'm not gonna lie, I was a little hissy. I mean, we could just tell the people you are. I was a little hissy. But I could feel it, and that doesn't offend me. Yeah, I'm not offended by that. So when I sent you your mood board in these outfits, I knew that they were a complete 360 from how you currently dress, how you currently see yourself, but I know that I could see you in them. I know that for where you say you want to take your personal brand, this is where I needed to push you. Yeah. So I know it was an uncomfortable push, but the glow you had in the mirror without your makeup even being done, without your hair on. Oh, it wasn't a just the way you were glowing in the mirror from seeing these outfits hit. For sure, the warmth that I feel on the inside is in display.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

For sure. And I felt that warmth through you. I felt it because you were just staring like a proud mama. Um, I I'm just, I'm just, and we all have to, we all have to go through it, especially when you're when we talk about this word elevate, right? We all have to go through those new experiences. Because for a long time, um, and especially not being from Atlanta, it's like almost rebuilding my team all over again. Because you know, back home, you're accessible to everything, everybody. Everybody, everybody, everywhere, you know. Um, but up here, it's like, okay, if I'm going to elevate, I really want to really walk in the in in the shoes of the person I see myself as. So it was no question. It was no question when it came to getting a stylus. Um, and I want to be that living example for the women and even for my mentees, because we have it and it's so unfortunate that we don't get to, everyone don't get to experience it. Right. Because one, um, we all look at the money. We all think the the money, but what is it costing you not to get that stylus? Honey. What is it costing you? It will cost you clients, it will cost you opportunities. It will. It will. So tell me a little bit about, tell me a little bit about the the make look first of all, she is a jack of all trades. Since that, I'm not even I'm not just gonna style you, but we're gonna make sure your hair is good. I'm going to beat your face. I said, Oh, you're gonna do it all. She said, Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

Absolutely, absolutely. I'm a one-stop shop person.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

Yes, yes. And do you have so you don't have a team at all that comes and helps you do everything?

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Like you, she came by herself to do everything, but I'm like, So if I'm working like large weddings, if I have a bridal party more than let's say six, I do have a trained assistant who I train specifically under me to work the way I want them to work, okay, to work the way I work, okay, so that they can either prep my clients or finish my clients for me. So depending on um how big the party is that I'm doing, I'll pull in someone. I know a lot of qualified and amazing makeup artists that I will send my clients to if I'm unavailable or that will send me clients. So if I've ever needed to team up with another stylist to get a major job done, I know some dope, dope stylist in Philly. Like, I mean makeup artists in Philly. But when it comes to um personal styling, wardrobe, wardrobing, and image branding, I don't trust my clients to anybody but because it's your is your camera. Because it's I see you and now like I told you, your brand is not your business, your brand is my business. Your business is your business, but your brand that's my business. I like it that way. They don't mind my business.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

I like it that way. It was a lot easier. It was a lot easier.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

It was what's in the way.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

Do you feel like um do you feel like it's it's saturated? The the style, the styling industry. I don't want to do air quotes because I didn't know the the proper term for it, but do you feel like it's saturated?

SPEAKER_01 12:23

So what I will say is because you're a Philly native, you know, in Philly. We are, and I love my city, I love my city.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

I do too.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

But you know, we are a city of Me Too. Absolutely, absolutely, and they don't understand the work that has to come behind the title. The certifications are pieces of paper that you could go online and you could tomorrow and say you're doing a personal stylist certification because and make them sit in a class for three weeks, give them a piece of paper, and these people will run off saying that they're personal stylists. But styling comes and building someone's image comes with psychology. Because I have to get into it. Most things do. I have to build, I have to break your barriers down. I have to make you trust me. I have to be a soft place for you. Yeah. Because our clothing and our bodies and how we dress are something that we all hold near and dear to us. So trusting someone else to get it, someone else to get it right is scary for a lot of women, a lot of black women.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

Is that the most common thing that you see with all of your clients? Like building that trust.

SPEAKER_01 13:24

Some clients are really their hesitancy comes from like, why should I trust you? Or so-and-so said they're a stylist, but when they break down what the person done, I tell them, well, no, they were really a personal shopper. And that's no shade to personal shoppers because there's levels to everything. Yeah. Some people can do hair. You have people who do hair, you have a hairdresser. Yeah. You have a hairstylist. Yeah. There's levels to everything. It is. You have people who are fashion stylists, who are wardrobe stylists, who are personal stylists. Those actually are three different things.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

Three different things, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:54

Three different things. Wardrobe stylists are usually working on sets, they're usually working on movie sets, they're doing bigger productions. I'm a personal stylist. I'm here with you personally. I'm getting in your closet, I'm getting in your drawers. You're mad at me because I'm throwing your favorite tights out the window. It's more on a personal level.

SPEAKER_02 14:10

And that's why it can't just be a one-stop shop either. Like you really have to grow with your team. You do. You know, because uh the more you learn about them, the better it is, the better it will be for you and in your client, especially in the long run. Because you get to watch them grow and and develop that.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Because after our past 48 hours, and I already see that like I've already made you fall in love. And like you over there, like my man, my man, my man.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

My man. I'm I'm I'm my man, yes.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

Yes, you're very very much that, but also now that that wall is down, yeah. And again, I don't take offense to the wall. Yeah. Now that the wall is down, I see where you want to go. Okay. So I'm gonna wait for you to meet me there because I'm ready.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

I'm ready to get you there. Right. So just get on the bus. Right, right, right. Get on the bus.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

Yes. I'm on it. I'm on it.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

You was she was so she was threatening me earlier in Chick-fil-A.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

Oh, you gonna put our business out there?

SPEAKER_01 15:03

I am she she threatened me over a four-count strip. She did threaten me.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

Well, Chick-fil-A better give us a sponsorship for this episode. I know that. Let's tag them in this uh but so tell me about motherhood though, because you are you are first of all, she's a grandmom.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

I am a grandmother.

SPEAKER_02 15:19

Grandmom, a G. Yes. So how has it been building your business um from going to working in the salon and then the transition and still having to, you know, um raise your family?

SPEAKER_01 15:32

So I will say I got all of my degrees as a married full-time mother.

SPEAKER_02 15:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

That had a full-time corporate job.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

So I had to balance wanting a degree, I had to balance wanting to have a business, and then I had to balance being somebody's wife and mother all at the same time. And trying to see what was more important than the other. In the beginning, I come to the mic just a little bit. I'm sorry, in the beginning, I thought it was um, you know, concentrate on your work and it'll be better for your family. Then you feel like you're missing important days with your family. I'm missing the violin recitals, I'm missing soccer games. And it was like, no, I gotta be a mom. So initially was finding that balance to be all the things and still perform at the highest level.

SPEAKER_02 16:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

But then I realized I had to pull the corporate job out of the mix because I don't owe that to anyone. I I finally realized that I was holding on to a corporate job because society thinks working for someone else under a big corporation means you've made it. Yeah. And I was ready to break that stigma in our community too because our grandparents didn't know any better. Yeah, they worked at a job for 50, 60 years, returned and got their pension, and they went on. They didn't look for happiness. I knew I wanted to be happy. Yeah. And styling, wardrobe, image consulting, makeup, I would do it for free. Yeah. I have done it for free. That's how you know it's free.

SPEAKER_02 16:53

With a smile on my face. So, but okay, so for one, I like to make it, I like to go back to you say you were a full-time wife, mom, and a corporate worker, and you were balancing your business. Now, just because someone is a wife doesn't make the journey any easier. Not at all. And I like to make that clear because we do have some single moms, and we do, and I get the I have the best of both worlds. And I say best of both worlds because even though they were hard situations, I'm appreciative of the journey. I was married, still pushing for my business. I was single, still pushing for my business. You know what I mean? So just because you had a husband doesn't mean the journey was any easier. I don't know. And transitioning from corporate world to entrepreneurship doesn't make it doesn't make it easier either because you had a husband. It's hard. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

It's hard because you have to have one, a supportive partner.

SPEAKER_02 17:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

That's the most important.

SPEAKER_02 17:44

Did he understand that when you said, hey, I don't want to work in corporate America?

SPEAKER_01 17:48

When I broke it down to the why and how it physically was impacting me, I was physically becoming sick. Because I didn't want to be there.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

And we know how God is, if we don't learn a lesson, He's gonna keep making us be the same side. Absolutely. So I was going into these jobs, getting migraines, panic attacks, growing up in the bathroom, couldn't focus. Once at one point I thought I was gonna have a nervous breakdown. Even when what prompted me going back to therapy, I was having panic attacks two to three a week. Two to three a week. Because here I am serving someone else's purpose. Here I am making someone else's business hit their quotas, exceed their quotas. Yes. We're getting bonuses and all of this for someone else's name and someone else's brain. And meanwhile, my brain was suffering.

SPEAKER_02 18:31

But that's how they that's how they keep a lot of our people though. It is because if if you're not around those circles who can, and by all means, I don't knock a corporate job at the end. Never, never, never because it cuts some good checks. It cuts some good checks. But the purpose is to leverage that and still build something that you can fire your nine to five one day. Correct. Right? So that's how they keep us stuck, though. They pay us just enough. And you said, well, if I'm making a hundred thousand at this job, how much does the company really make? The billions.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

And it was, and you know what it was? It was a combination of talking to some of my clients who have become my mentors, like Aisha. She was like, at the end of the day, if you devoted that time to your business, sisters and sisters in business, Aisha, okay. If you devoted that time to your business, how much money would you make? Girl, yes. If you devoted those 10 hours and sleep to your business, how much money could you make? If you showed up on social media like you showed up for, and I won't mention my employer, but if you show up on social media and promote yourself like you promote that employer, where would your business be? And you know what? I took a step back and I had to realize when I show up on social media, the clientele and the lead showed up. When I showed up in public places and I posted I was out, the interest showed up.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

You know though, you know why that is though, though. I know. You know, God said, if you are serving his kingdom and by stepping into your purpose, right? By stepping into your full purpose, because it's not about styling. It's not. It's not styling is just a vehicle. It is. But the moment you step into that full purpose and you start living your testimony, you start sharing your testimony, you start helping others through what you do, he's going to take care. Oh, he's going to provide.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

Can I tell you always? Can I tell you always? I know people always say, you know, God threw them put us more than we could bear. People like to throw out those colloquial lessons. They like to throw out the verses and the quotes, but I can tell you, and I'll tell people just because I don't bust you in your head with a Bible, don't mean I play about Big J. Come on. I don't play about Big J.

SPEAKER_02 20:33

Come on. Come on.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

What I do know is when I show up and serve his purpose, every door, every window. Yes. Every door, every window. Every door, every window. All the pots are overflowing. I got something for every, I got enough for myself times 10 and everybody else that's coming with me.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

Even when you think the pot not overflowing, even even when it still looks like it's a little bit. Girl, tomorrow, that little bit becomes a lot.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

Can we talk about it?

SPEAKER_02 20:57

It becomes a lot. Can we talk about it? Because this wasn't, this wasn't by chance. No. This this wasn't by chance.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

And do you know how many of these I've had? Right. How many times a really sturdy client was saying, I have someone who would be perfect for you, and we talk and we have a good vibe over the phone, and either I drop the quote and I don't hear from them again, which I used to chase. Well, if that's too much for you, what if I did that? I used to chase that. And then we all all entrepreneurs at some point have been through that phase. Yeah. Because we wanted a client. We wanted the client. But every every client and my client and every dollar not meant for my power. It's alignment. It's alignment. And when I realized I'm gonna stay authentic to myself, I'm gonna stay authentic to my purpose. And I'm gonna just walk. Yes. All I have to do is walk. Yes. Like I said, every door opens, every window is open, everything is overflowing, and every client is aligning the way I want them to. Like the clientele that I want is finding me. Because again, everybody's not your client. And I do want to be selective about my clientele because you have become my walking client. Business card, you model my business.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

So when people see you, they have to see me.

SPEAKER_02 22:05

Right, right, right. And I I just love how when you get it, you get it. When you get it, you get it. So what do you think? Um, what do you think we need to do as a community overall to push that momentum even more? Because I'm I'm on that mission and you you know what my mission is. I'm on that mission to show that women of the kingdom, we we can attract our clients, we can earn the income that we want to earn off of our purpose. Yes. You know, we can build those, just just build that desired life that you want while creating that impact that you're supposed to create. It feels good. It feels good to help people. It genuinely feels good to be able to help somebody for me. And what do you think we need to do as women and as entrepreneurs, as influencer, or whatever the title is to really continue to push that momentum? Because even though I feel like there's a lot of people doing it, it's still so separate. It still feels like, huh, I need to stay away from her. I need to stay away. What do you think we can do as a black community, as women, to push more of that narrative?

SPEAKER_01 23:09

The first thing will be is realizing everything that you need is already in your immediate circle. Your sisters are not your competition. Your sisters are literally, if you stop, they're there to help each other. That part. I'm trying to tell you, my core group of friends, I have four four friends, it's five of us. In my core group of friends, I have everything that I need. Everything that I need. I have I have single mothers, I have some lesbians, I have some that are bisexual, I have some that are married, I have some that are single. Every aspect that I need, every train of thought that I need, and whenever I want to pitch an idea, I have the mindset and age range of my friends to get that. We have to realize that we have to reach out into our own community and help one another because we have that thing of if I help her, what happens if she gets ahead of me?

SPEAKER_02 23:54

She gets ahead of me, right? Oh girl. We gotta take that. We gotta take that.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

I hate that because what's for you is for you. Because I'm clapping for everybody. Because if God blessing you, baby, he in the building. He in the heat. But let me keep clapping. Because he's in the neighborhood. Yes, and if he's in the neighborhood, he might do a drive-by. Yes, yes. We really have to take that competition out when it comes to us as black women. Like you're not, you're my sister. Even if I don't know you, if you don't like me, I don't care. You're my sister. And if I can help you be a better version of yourself, I'll do it.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

Yes, yes. And you you you've had evolutions. Where do you see yourself in the next five years? Like, where is our uh style by D star? Where where are we in five years?

SPEAKER_01 24:33

Five years, I will definitely have relocated because I to Georgia. Okay, so I have to hit right in every time I come to this state to live here. It's a high possibility because I have a lot of clients here. I I do a lot of business here. So maybe I will be here. My husband's retired. He said, Maybe I'm gonna go where you go. Hubby, Elena. So listen, it's gonna it's gonna happen. But five years I see myself on a book tour.

SPEAKER_02 25:01

Nice, nice. Also, it's a book in your future. There's some two. There's two. There's two.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

I want to finally share my my personal story, yes, um, the struggles that I went through because healing from them, I realized, and some of my friends and some of the women around me, I I see myself, the unhealed versions of myself. And I feel like if more people were honest about where they come from and how it's affecting them now as grown-ups, maybe we could heal and move past it.

SPEAKER_02 25:28

We can. We we will be able to absolutely for sure. Every woman of purpose should have a book. And that is my true belief. Every woman of purpose, at least one, because that is the that's how you're gonna reach the audience that you wouldn't normally reach on a on a regular basis. And those are that's how you really gonna build that trust factor with a lot of people who may not want to jump right in bed with you. Oh, she had a book. Let me read her story because that story fascinates. Now we we have something similar in in common. Are you are you vocal about your weight loss journey?

SPEAKER_01 26:00

I am. I have been waving my bariatric flag from the day that I went on my consultation. The reason being when I started out on my bariatric journey, there were no honest women on social media that looked like me.

SPEAKER_02 26:14

Girl, honest, there were no honest women about none. And none.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

Not that looked like me. Right. A lot of the camaraderie that I found, a lot of the ease that I found, a lot of the I'll walk you through the process were women of other races. Yeah. When I looked at African-American women who I knew had had weight loss surgery, they either didn't talk about it, and I don't shame them because some may not talk about it because they find it embarrassing, which you have to go through your own journey to feel good about yourself. But I knew I wanted to be a voice and a visual representation of what it's like to go through this process, follow directions, and hit my goal. And I will stand on the top of Mount Rushmore and tell you that March 21st, 2023, I had gastric bypass surgery, and now two years and two months later, I am half of my body weight.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

Come on, come on. It is an absolute lifesaver outside of God. Yes, it is an absolute lifesaver because now I I was almost 600 pounds at one point. Yes. Okay. And when they told me, this is 10 years ago, over 10 years ago, and when they told me that I can die on the delivery table, and I was so young, and I'm like, no, something's gotta change. And going through that process, I'm like, I'm I'm going to talk about it. For sure. I am going to talk about it. And like you said, there was not a lot of people really honest about their surgery because of that embarrassment behind it. But I didn't see it as an embarrassment because it's like it saved my life.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

You know what I found? People will tell you that they got implants. People will tell you that they got before they say variation. People will tell you they got a tummy tuck. But people are embarrassed to say that they've had weight loss surgery. Listen, you have somebody in your life that's making you feel ashamed for choosing yourself, you should probably remove them. I didn't even see me to be honest, and I'll be honest with you. That was the first time I did anything in my life without consulting my husband first.

SPEAKER_02 28:15

Really? Really?

SPEAKER_01 28:17

I was on it, I was coming from Atlanta working with Sisters and Business Expo, and I got on my on my flight to go home. And I needed a seatbelt extender. I bust out into full-blown tears. Thankfully, I had my oversized, my favorite Gucci sunglasses on, and they literally cover my entire face. I sobbed for almost an hour of that two-hour flight, and I told myself I will never feel like this ever again.

SPEAKER_02 28:45

It's it's it's amazing how many people that I know that either had a sleeve or the bypass, and we all have that traumatizing story about being on an airplane. So much so that like I literally recently just got over that um that being a trigger for me. Like getting on the plane now, it's still okay. This is why I used to love the fly southwest, because you can pick your seats. Correct. And I want to get on first so no one can see me get the extent. This this is what I thought of first before, you know.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

I'm gonna make sure I'm in the support group. I'm definitely gonna second. And when I first get on a plane and speak to all the flight attendants, I'm gonna whisper that I need to see, but extended before I even get to my seat so you can sign it to me because it was like, why am I so young and not feel this way? And I realized that was the embarrassment. So let me do this. And then both of my parents passed right at their 50th birthday from health complications. I said, not me. Right. So not me. So here I was at 40 with no parents. With no parents at 40. And I was like, the only thing, the only health condition I had was being obese. I was on a borderline for a lot of things, but my obesity was a trigger for that. Yeah. So I said, if I get rid of the weight, the problem is. You there's not honey. I will walk somebody through the process, hold their hand, I'll go with them up to surgery day. You can't shame me for my choice. Right, right. And I feel amazing. And I look amazing. Amazing. You look amazing. Do you understand that it just took me these last couple months to accept the compliment without feeling shy or embarrassed? Because we let people, you know, we get to a point where we feel like I shouldn't be like proud or I shouldn't show off. I work hard to sit at 165 over.

SPEAKER_02 30:32

And it's not that that that surgery is not the end-all be all. You still I done went down, went up, went. So after after my surgery, um, I lost maybe like 125 something pounds, and I started gaining the bag.

SPEAKER_01 30:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 30:46

And then I got up to 400 something pounds after the surgery. Tammy wasn't listening. Okay. Um, but then Herb Life was my second lifesaver. So shout out to Herbalife and my best friend Lashana. Um, she introduced me um to Herbalife. But I say that to say it's work still losing the weight. That's why it's not just uh you get this magical surgery and then it happens for you.

SPEAKER_01 31:08

That's why I bark at the people who make the comments surgery is the easy way out, baby. There was nothing easy about laying on that table. Nothing. Having somebody cut me open, remove 80% of my stomach, send me home with the stomach the size of a large egg, and expect me, who was an emotional overeater, to not bust this new stomach wide open. Yeah, it's nothing easy about that. It's nothing easy about realizing that you was an emotional overeater. So instead of eating that bag of lace, I had to go tell my husband that I didn't like the way he was talking to me. To go and tell my daughter that I need you to do what I say and stop being hard heated because I was eating my feelings, and that was some of the hardest work I've ever done in my life because my weight came from emotional overeating. So I had to put my family and friends on notice that the truth is coming. You may not like it, but it's been uneasy for me for a very long time.

SPEAKER_02 31:57

But I can bet, I I I can imagine how freeing that was. Very.

SPEAKER_01 32:01

I can imagine when I tell you, very, as an adult woman, I have never not been a double-digit. I don't remember from a child ever not shopping on the plus side of a store. Whether it was the 579 store, whether I 579, girl, you took it back. Whether I was at Fashion Bug with my grandma. Fashion Bug, 69th Street. Baby. Look, she's taking me back. I never remember not being on the plus side of a store. Yeah. So can I tell you a secret?

SPEAKER_02 32:29

What?

SPEAKER_01 32:30

Now that I've I wear a size eight, I have not physically been in the store and shopped for myself in two years. You always why why is that? So even though I can dress you, yeah, and I've been able to tell you what this is the psychological part of weight loss and weight loss surgery no one understands. I still have to come to terms and accept that I can go anywhere I want to and shop. I can walk into any store because for 40 years I have not been able to. I had always gone to surgery. I had to go here and make what was over here work. Yes. Whether I wanted it to or not, whether it looked good or not. Yes. Now I have car blanche to go wherever I want, and I just can't bring myself to do it. There you go. But I look good every time you see me. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 33:09

And for those, for anybody who is is watching and that's contemplating um the weight loss surgery or any type of surgical procedure, or I don't like to promote that shot. I don't know any too much about Ozempic. No, no shot to anybody who's on it.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

And they have amazing success too.

SPEAKER_02 33:26

They have amazing success too. Um, but I can't speak on that because that's not my testimony. But getting um a weight loss surgery or um undergoing weight loss surgery, I would highly consider doing it. I would highly consider and encourage people to do the research behind it and and just eliminate the fear and eliminate the naysayers and talk to someone who actually went through it.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

And actually went through it and followed direct directions. Because people, I mean, when I tell you from the bariatric community, I get snarked at because people be like, Oh, have you had plastics yet? So in the bariatrix community, you know, there's terms. So once you've had your weight loss surgery, they'll say, Have you had any plastics? Meaning plastic surgery. As of right now, I've had no plastic surgery. I have no excess skin removed. I've only been to the gym about three times in two years. So this is not a gym body. This is me following the direction of my medical management team and my nutritionist, and me realizing that I can go in that kitchen and eat crazy. But the one time I tried over emo, overeating because I was emotional and sad, I was on my bathroom Florida fetal position crying with my husband rubbing my back because I didn't know if I had to go to the bathroom or throw up for hours.

SPEAKER_02 34:40

That was that dumping for hours. And that ain't no joke. That happened to me once. That is no joke. No, that's true.

SPEAKER_01 34:46

And I realized, you know what? Then I realized I'm not eating my feelings or holding nothing in. Again, everybody's gonna notice, but it's a choice. Yeah, you have to make a choice.

SPEAKER_02 34:53

Yeah, you have to make a choice. Well, I'm I'm proud of you, and I can't wait for the book. I'm proud of you. Thank you. What I cannot wait for the book. So five years book tour.

SPEAKER_01 35:02

Five years book tour. So it'll be my personal journey, and it'll also be my actual style guide that is acceptable to the everyday woman.

SPEAKER_02 35:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 35:11

So because everybody has to know how to dress up.

SPEAKER_02 35:13

I can see some courses down the line for you. Oh, they're coming. I can see it.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

Of course, we got course for comings, we got intensive comings. Yes. Speaking engagements are coming. Yes. Being on tour with my spoiled clients, that's hitting the nail. So honestly, I would like to go. The honest answer is wherever God takes me. Yeah. So in five years, wherever, wherever he wants that to be, I am honestly open and willing, arms wide open. Wherever he takes me, I'm going.

SPEAKER_02 35:39

I I like that. I I love that. Because if he says stop, doing what you're doing, guess what? I'm gonna stop. You're gonna stop.

SPEAKER_01 35:46

For sure.

SPEAKER_02 35:46

You're gonna stop. What was the hardest thing you had to learn about yourself, aside from getting the courage and and speaking when you were doing your emotional eating? What was the um what was the hardest thing you had to learn about yourself to really accept that this version of you?

SPEAKER_01 36:03

That I'm really dope.

SPEAKER_02 36:04

You you didn't believe you were dope.

SPEAKER_01 36:06

No. So people would compliment me and I would blush.

SPEAKER_02 36:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

Even in my corporate job, people would talk about how great I was at something and I would change the subject. It's I could not accept a compliment. And then even with working with my clients from my prom babies all the way up to just regular photo shoots, or if I'm doing branding, realizing that I'm really shit. Like, yeah, I I am. Yeah, you gotta own it. And the crazy part is I can say that now in the most humblest way. Because what I tell people is when you walk in that gift that God gave you, that God-given gift, it's different. And he has blessed me with some amazing talents and to be able to take a blank canvas, a stranger who had trust issues, who had her own body dysphorphia that she was dealing with, like myself, to be able to present you with a closet full of clothes that you've never seen, yes, and make you trust that I knew what I was doing.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

Yes, yes. It it definitely is a phenomenal experience to understand that. And I can only, I can only encourage you to really step fully into your purpose to understand that because we talk about it, we'll say it, and if you're on the other side of it, because I was this person, oh, they just talking. It ain't it ain't like how how do you know when God is speaking to you? How do you know when it's your purpose? How do you know? How do you know? You will know.

SPEAKER_01 37:39

You will know.

SPEAKER_02 37:40

You will know.

SPEAKER_01 37:40

There won't be a there won't be a doubt, there won't be a question. Right. You will know, and you would move heaven and hell to make sure that you're doing it.

SPEAKER_02 37:48

Exactly, exactly. So what what um how can how can our audience reach you if they wanted to book you now? Don't be going booking a hard time now. I'm just saying. But how how can our audience reach you if um they want to work with you?

SPEAKER_01 38:03

Sure. So I'm gonna make this simple for you guys. I am at styled by D star, which is S-T-Y L D B Y D-E, S T A, R R on all your social media platforms. So that's YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok, Styled by D Star. My website is www.styled by dstar got dot com. You can book a consultation and we can get the elevation and transformation of your image started immediately.

SPEAKER_02 38:32

I love it. Immediately. Yes, I love it. I love it. And and she's so down to earth, y'all. She is so down to earth, and she is so real. And I I like to say it's because she's from Philly, you know, we just got that that Philly swag. But no, I truly appreciate when I meet a genuine soul.

unknown 38:49

I love that.

SPEAKER_02 38:50

And you can you can really tell. I know I can tell on people's intentions, right? And the more that I pray for the discernment, it comes. It comes. So just continue to pour into women because even though I'm a mentor and I'm doing what I'm doing for other women, it feels good to have people pour into you. Because sometimes people forget, right? People look at star and forget how, like, yeah, you're strong, but you're still a person. I am, you know, you're still a person, you're still human. And pouring into someone is important, very important. It is very important, and what you do, this, what you do is a can is a contribution to that pouring into. So thank you. And to all of the stylists out there, um, just keep doing it. Yeah, just keep doing it.

SPEAKER_01 39:38

Do it because one day somebody will see you.

SPEAKER_02 39:40

Yes, yes. I enjoyed you coming to visit me. Thank you, but I enjoyed this so much. Um, and this is not gonna be the last time, because I'm gonna have her back on the huddle. Um, because I got plans all in my head. I told her how how ideas be circling my head and as we talk about my whole 2025. They circling in my head. So this won't be the last time that y'all seen Miss Star on this job. I'm gonna tell y'all that right now. But um, yes, it was amazing talking, and it's amazing always coming into the studio with you guys. And I would not be who I am if I don't mention our official sponsor of the Mom Panora Huddle podcast, Lee Che Capri. Make sure you use the word huddle for 20% off of all of your designer bags for the designer moms, and it will be in the description below or right here across the screen. And if you ever, if you ever feel the need to reach out to me or to Miss Starr, make sure you flood our inbox. Make sure you flood the inbox. So better yet, leave a comment to let us know how much you enjoyed this episode or what was your biggest takeaway, or do you have the coverage, or have you found the coverage to actually work or consult with a stylist, right? Because it does take courage to do that. And I'll be in the comments looking. And she'll be in the comments looking. So let us know. We will be looking for it. Thank you for tuning in to another episode. And as always, crowns on, chin up, and you rock the rest of your week. Have a good day.