The Mompreneur Huddle

Ep 37: What No One Tells You About Raising a Child With Special Needs ft Janet Mingo

ā€¢ Tammy Capri ā€¢ Episode 37

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In this episode of The Mompreneur Huddle, Tammy Capri sits down with Janet Mingo, author, parent coach, and founder of Strive With Mom.

After surviving an aneurysm, learning to walk multiple times, navigating divorce, single motherhood, and raising a child with special needs, Janet shares how life's unexpected shifts led her to purpose.

If you've ever felt lost in motherhood, caregiving, or life's challenges, this conversation will remind you of the strength you already have.

Connect with Janet:
https://strivewithmom.com

Support the show

SPEAKER_01

Welcome to another episode of the Mop and No Huddle Podcast with motherhood and entrepreneurship where we talk about everything in between.

SPEAKER_00

Baby girl is the perfect girl, use the postman. Make it everything work, they girl use the postman. Stay on all your business and when it comes manifest, the baby girl universe girl is the boss, man. Baby girl is the perfect girl, use the boss, man. Make it everything work, girl, use the boss, man. Stay on all your business and when it comes manifest, the baby girl you're really.

unknown

I like that right there.

SPEAKER_01

I am your host, Tammy Capri, the Mopanar mentor, and today I have the beautiful Miss Janet Mingle in the building. Hey girl. How are you? I'm doing good. How are you? Girl, I'm blessed. Yes. I am blessed. Thank you for joining me.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you for the opportunity.

SPEAKER_01

Of course, of course. Let me tell you a little bit about Miss Janet. First of all, she's an author. You know I love my authors, but she's an author, a speaker, a certified parent coach, and the founder of Strive with Mom. After navigating a divorce, single motherhood, and high-risk pregnancy, job loss, and raising a son with special needs, she turned her pain into purpose and now helps other mothers and caregivers advocate boldly, find their voices again, and thrive through life's unexpected shifts. That is amazing. I love what you do. Thank you. I love what you do. And the the most common word that, you know, that pops out to me when I was reading your bio is the word shifts, right? Um, you have the book. Tell us a little bit about the book.

SPEAKER_02

So the book, The Shift, is a self-guided journey to help individuals create the environment needed to execute their goals and practice more self-love. Because before you can do anything, you have to first realize who you were created to be. And once you can understand who you are and see you how God sees you, you can do whatever it is that you want to do. For sure. Understand whose you are. Why is that important? Because if you don't know, then you're subject to believing anything. Like um, the power of I am is so important. Come on. Like just knowing, like when I say my my I am Janet, whatever my name is, whatever I believe I am, that's who I am. And knowing who God has created me to be surpasses any negative thing that anyone has said about me or anything that I have created self-dealt about within myself. So to just be able to overcome that power, say no, God created you as the head and not the tail, as a lender, not the borrower, or anything. Yes, no, it all works together.

SPEAKER_01

So I love this.

unknown

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01

I love this version of you. But I also know from your story that it took work to get to you. Oh, yeah. It took work. So let's let's go back a little bit. Tell us about how did you become her?

SPEAKER_02

Um, it started when I was younger. Um, I had to relearn how to walk 12 times. And so basically within that journey. Wait, we're not gonna just skip over that now.

SPEAKER_01

You had to relearn how to walk 12 times.

SPEAKER_02

Literally, not figuratively.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, literally.

SPEAKER_02

What happened? Um, so I have Marfan syndrome, and basically it's a connective tissue disorder that deals with a lot of things. I've had over 15 surgeries, and I'm only in my early 30s. Um, currently I have hardware in my knee, from my knee to my hip, and my right leg, I mean my left leg, I have screws and all of the all of the hardware there. And so basically, um it was just a learning process for me. Some of the surgeries were to try to fix the problem that never got fixed. But here I am today.

SPEAKER_01

So testimony, yo, you never realize, even after all of the the shifts that happened, I'm saying shifts because, like I said, that was a word that pops out. Your life literally shifted. If all the shift that happened, you still have to deal with your health. You still have to deal with the things that you can't control. Like a lot of the shift that happened, we can control, right? It's the decisions that we make that shape those things, but dealing with the things that we can't control.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_01

Dealing with, I can't imagine. You strong.

unknown

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01

You are strong. How was that? Where was your mind at even going through that? Because you're young.

SPEAKER_02

You're young. It was hard at first, especially being in elementary school. I remember being in fifth grade where you know I was out of school for like three months, and when I came back, it was like, oh, we built this ramp for you because you can't get into your classroom without this ramp, and just seeing at first I felt like a burden. Like, why are people having to make all of these changes for me? Like, I can't, I can't go celebrate July 4th with my family because I'm in I'm bedbound right now, or feeling like I'm always in the hospital. But realizing now is like, hold on, like, no, I was set apart, and it's okay to be set apart. And I feel like that's why I'm so compassionate and empathetic towards others because this whole process helped me because when I was an undergrad, I actually went to school for kinesiology. I thought I was gonna be a physical therapist. Um, but after I studied abroad for the first time, I remember being in the dorm room in Japan and God whispered to me, You thought I created you to heal heart, I mean heal bones, but I helped I created you to help heal hearts. Oh, that's deep. And that's when my whole perspective of life changed. So yes.

SPEAKER_01

That is deep. What was going on at that time? Because it's easy to say, I hear God or God led me to this. Most people, when they claim that God led them to something, right? It's really not that. It's it's you know, and and again, I don't know who heard from him, but I know what my experience was. And when I experienced that, it was like those other times wasn't God. Yeah, that was flesh, right? So when you heard that, take me through that. And I always find that interesting. Where were you at? And I know you were studying abroad, but where were you at in your life in that moment, your mindset?

SPEAKER_02

I was literally like, okay, God, everything that I've tried to do has not worked. Um, I decided to still go abroad. My mother was in a situation where she was sick, and I had the choice to either go or stay. And I was like, Janet, you're always in a position where you're putting everything else first. Not to say that I wouldn't, but this is your time. And if you don't take on to this opportunity right now, then you may still be that little girl who's stuck in stuff up that doesn't get to see the the bigger. And so taking that opportunity, like even having a car note, I left my car so my family could use my car. I was still paying my car note, everything. Because I was like, this right here is bigger than me. Well, you was obedient for real. You let them use your car, you can still pay. I was like, this is bigger than the finances. This is like if God has always provided for me, He will continue to do it and so I just remember like I joined a couple clubs. I was in the singing club, and I was like, Lord, what am I supposed to find out while I'm here? Like, yes, I wanted to be in Japan, but what am I supposed to find out? And he showed me my identity to it. He showed me my identity, and I was like, okay, I'm struggling in school. Like, oh, now I was only struggling in the human anatomy courses. All the other ones were good. And I was like, I gotta get these. Yeah, I gotta get these if I want to move forward. Right. And when it hit me, I was like, wow. And I just cried. I cried, I cried. I remember the night because it was literally after um my first earthquake in Japan. I've experienced earthquakes in Virginia, but an earthquake in Japan, like it will have your bed from the wall when you wake up in the middle of the night, you're in the middle of the day.

SPEAKER_01

It's really like what you see on the movies. Yes. Really? They have sinkholes and everything. Girl, I ain't going to Japan.

SPEAKER_02

No, it's not. I didn't have any sinkholes. Okay. But I'm just saying, like your chair. It was literally move.

SPEAKER_01

You're going to fall. There's no earthquakes here. I've never felt them. Like they'll be on the news. If we had an earthquake, I'm like, I ain't never felt it. But but so where where did it go from there?

SPEAKER_02

From there, I came back home. Um, I graduated the next semester, and I was like, okay, I switched my major. I started looking for different women empowerment groups. Um, and I went on my first like solo retreat where I was like, okay, how can I serve? Like, what I've served in the church, but how can I serve now? Like, where can I really find a place to make impact? Where can I find a place to find a voice of my own? And that's where that started. Okay. And that's after I found the women empowerment groups, I was like, oh my goodness. Um, I can I can be an author, I can do all of these things. And I found myself being the youngest person in the room, but I was so eager to like make phrases and all of that. And I was like, okay, how can I support you? And so that's the way that.

SPEAKER_01

So does that now be in Atlanta? And I know VA may be a little bit different, but the world is what the world is when it comes to that eagerness and wanting to serve. And I find myself meeting a lot of women that get discouraged about that, they be so eager to want to serve, but they've been met with so much, you know, battle or you know, the mean girl vibe, or that they don't put themselves out there. So you putting yourself out there, have you ever faced a time where you did feel discouraged or you did shrink in a room full of these women? Because that has to be uh not intimidating. Well, intimidating to some people, but it is scary to step into that.

SPEAKER_02

Um I will say that I have I've encountered it plenty of times to the point where it did silence me a little bit um in 2022 after my first big re-up experience. Um I lost friendships after that event, and it was just it was hard because I was like, I've experienced it on the back end, but I didn't think that I would experience it after something I put together. And the people who saw me put together saw how hard I worked towards that, and so that experience was like, okay, it silenced me for a little bit because I was like, these are people that I love genuinely, and I was like, okay, do I am I okay with losing friendships? Am I okay with losing these things? Or that's the main question while building what I know that I was purposed for. And the answer is yes. It took a while to get there, but the answer is yes.

SPEAKER_01

But but looking at that time, that that's the that's the pivotal part. Those will be the pivotal moments because some everybody can't go where you go.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_01

Everybody's not meant to go or see your vision, but that really it teaches you a lot about you in that process. What did it teach you about you and other people, especially your love for other people and then our family members, you know? Like what did it teach you about yourself?

SPEAKER_02

It taught me that, Janet, you can't continue to overgive. And when you don't have the capacity for something, don't show up tired anyway. Like, don't do that. Don't force yourself. And I the right people will love you even through your no. Yeah. And it also showed me that when you do have the capacity, especially dealing with my health elements, to make sure that I'm putting forth the time towards my own purpose rather than giving 95% to helping them push their vision, and then you know, it's not reciprocated.

SPEAKER_01

So you're a parent coach. Yes. A parent coach. Before becoming a parent coach, of course you have to become a parent. What is tell tell us a little bit about because you have a special needs child, tell us a little bit about that experience becoming uh coming from someone who you know had her own disabilities and now you have a special need child, and now you're a parent coach. Because I feel like your role in people's lives, like I need a parent coach, I still need one today. Um, because parenting, there's no rule book, right? You know, and I I rely heavily on my community, right? Heavily on my support system, because I don't have all the answers, but I do be needing somebody to say, hey, right, speak to them this way sometime, or look at it from this angle, this point of view. Is that what you do? Is that the the gist of parent coaching?

SPEAKER_02

That is uh basically the gist of what it is, and helping the individual who went from not really having community to understanding that they can move, they can shift into support. Like that's one of the big things of the S of my framework is shifting into support. Okay. Going from a solo person or feeling like, especially if you're a single parent like myself, or things like that, just feeling like no, you need community. And regardless of how that looks, and you may have to be a little bit more strategic about the community that you decide to bring into your circle, but you need it.

SPEAKER_01

Right. Why, why do why do people think that they don't need it? Like that the that's common. Like, I don't need a man, I don't need a community, I can do this by myself. I'm solo dolo. Like, why do you why do you think people or what changed? Because we were all about the family dynamic. Like my grandmother raised me practically while my family was in the the service, and I think here now, but like what changed? I think disappointment.

SPEAKER_02

I think disappointment. Yeah, I think disappointment came into play because even for me, my son, I tried in my previous marriage to get pregnant and wasn't able to. But from the moment my son's father knew I was pregnant before I knew, okay, and he was like, hey, go take a test. And I'm like, why do I need to take a test? I went to go take a test, and sure enough, I was pregnant. But from that moment, he had already made it very clear that this is not something that he wanted to be a part of. And so in my head, I'm like, I was already told that I would not be able to have or conceive a child. And from that moment I knew like his name was gonna be Jace, which means healer of God. That I had and I had to heal in order to be able to bring forth whatever his purpose and what he was supposed to be.

SPEAKER_01

But that disappointment um that thrusted you into feeling like you had to do it by yourself, that you had to I mean, I had my mom, my mother was in the room, she cut the cord and all those things.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, but as far as feeling like I had like I knew I wouldn't be able to rely on his father and things like that. And so for me, finding positive male role models for him, that is one thing that I'm really looking forward to. Like even if it's a coach or something like that, yeah. Um, I have a cousin that or I have two other brothers, but knowing like there is no pride in being a single mom for me because I very much so wanted a family dynamic. I wanted to be able to rely. I don't feel like, yes, we as women are strong, but to have to care, yeah, I don't want to do it by myself.

SPEAKER_01

I ain't had this baby by myself, I don't want to do it by myself. But you know what? I don't know if you've experienced this yet, but I know everything that I've been through and I used to ask God why. Now in this season, he's been sending a lot of women that is a reflection of who I used to be. Yes. Right? And I say that to say your circle, even if it's not a male, uh positive male role model just yet, even by you being here, even by you, you know, meeting people that you met today here when you came here, you never know who knows who, what connection. So everything is always, you know, something's gonna catapulture to the next. So that term by yourself, sometimes it feels like we're by ourselves, but we're not, you know, and we we gain family along the way. Um, but having a baby and going into parenthood um or becoming a parent coach, how where where does it connect? How the because I know when I had my kids, I ain't want to deal with nobody else's kids. I ain't want I'm not watching nobody else. Listen, let me tell you, having kids is the birth, the the best birth control. Yes. The best birth control, baby. What made you want to get into actually helping other women? I know um you explained where like how you got to, but like what made you want to get into parent coaching.

SPEAKER_02

So here's the thing. Before I even had a child, I any event that I had, I always had a mompreneur segment in my events. And people would be like, you don't have a child, and I'd be like, I don't know. This has been on my heart, and so we're gonna always have a mom segment here. Before before, this was before I was a mom. But even like in undergrad, I was always working at the YMCA. I was always I was an early childhood um pre-K teacher. Okay. So I've had like the tools and the strategies of lesson plans and things like that. I've worked in the city.

SPEAKER_01

You give kindergarten teachers too, by the way.

SPEAKER_02

Let me just I get I get that. I get that. Thank you. And then so after that, my mom had an in-home daycare. So I grew up around kids all the time. Okay. Now, when I after I had my son, I was like, ooh, I'm I'm not sure if I want to, you know, I don't teaching is out of the window for me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

But from being a coach, it was like everything came together. Like the whole mindset, being a momentum coach. And it was like, oh, the pieces of the puzzle are finally clicking. Like this area, I did this, and this area I did this. And this is how we can strategize and implement this all together and create this one beautiful thing. So it was like what I learned six years ago finally like the pieces of the puzzle puzzle clicked, and it was like God was preparing me, like, hey, I got this in store for you. This is why this business endeavor didn't work. She needed someone didn't work, yeah. In order for it all to be made sense. Make sense.

SPEAKER_01

And I love that. I love that. So how does um well when you're when you found out your son was diagnosed, um, did that change your perspective on being a mother, being a parent coach, and or wanting to still help and serve in the area? Did that change your perspective?

SPEAKER_02

Yes. Um so the shift of the parent coach came last year after I took my first RBT course and then I recertified for coaching. And it was because I was having so many issues of trying to find support. Like I'm still having issues of finding certain therapies for my son. Really? Or yes, and just being able to be in a person. I lost my job last year, and so I was like, Oh my goodness, co-payments are sixty, eighty, a hundred dollars per week, and there's multiples. How am I going to be able to support him? And then after I lost my job, I started seeing the need for other women around me or other parents around me. And then I started seeing, oh, there are so many other children on the spectrum near me that don't have the support. And I would just be in the therapy office, like, hey, I don't want to step on any toes, but this is what I've done for my son. Right, right. So if this would be helpful for you. And parents would start coming back to me, like, hey Janet, thank you so much for telling me that. And I'll be like, I'm so sorry, I don't want to step on toes. I don't even know if this is your case, but I just want to share this information because it took a long time for me to get it. And even though my son is only two, it still took a long time. Like, there are certain situations where I'm waiting six, seven months and I'm doing the research, the groundwork. And so wherever I see it, I'm like, well, let me just tell you.

SPEAKER_01

That's beautiful. That is beautiful. You are the definition of it. Really stepping into purpose. The definition of it. Most women, and I'm I'm only speaking for women because I don't know what me dealing with women, I shy away from giving and sharing that type of information out of embarrassment. Um, especially when it comes to um public service, uh uh government assistance and resources, and it's not anything that you'd be ashamed of, but they won't share or give that information to give that resource to people, or for the simple fact that people people get attitudes when you try to share information. You know, they don't want that. And but I commend you and he absolutely have you in the right spaces and the right places and the right times for that. I work with kids with intellectual disabilities when I was up in Philadelphia, and I used to always pray to God, like if I am one of those mothers, just give me the people that I need. Because I know it's so hard, and I see it, I see it, and and I watch videos on on Instagram and TikTok of just the mothers be needing some type of help and just relief and breathing room, and I'll just be I feel, I feel for it.

SPEAKER_02

I feel it is so powerful, and that's actually why I was one day I was just so exhausted because there are times where I take him out and it's just like preparing to take him out for the sensory overload, or sometimes other children may ask questions or parents, and I'll have to like gently correct them like hey, my baby is different, but he's he's fine, he's fine, and so that's why I created this shirt. This mama never quits, mama just needs Jesus and a matcha first because I need my matcha.

SPEAKER_01

But Jesus beholding Holy Ghost. I don't have a matcha, I'm gonna give me a matcha. I think much of people are so bougie. I mean a little bougie, a little bougie. But let me ask you this question: how do you feel? Or what is your take on you know, moms at publicizing their children's diagnosis? You know, you see a lot of pages now. It's it's um it's very, you know, educational and informational and brings awareness, but a lot of things go overboard, in my opinion. What is your take on mom? Who share their journey with raising someone on the spectrum or any other.

SPEAKER_02

I feel like there should be a balance of what you're willing to share and what you're not willing to share. Because sometimes those cruel or hard moments, that one post could help somebody who feels like they're on the edge of their breaking point. Or feeling like, oh my gosh, like even feeling alone in motherhood, even if you no matter if you have a support system and things like that. But however, I do think there are certain things that of my son's journey I'm not willing to post. Okay. Like there are things being that he's in feeding therapy and he's had so much regression with food. One of the things that I do post is us going out to eat or him eating, like what I'm putting back into his diet, because certain things are private for him. And if he decides to share that part of his journey later, then he can share part of that. But there still needs to be some type of privacy there. You can you can be transparent and you can be authentic, but not have to expose everything or make sense.

SPEAKER_01

I I just feel like we we feel like when I say we, this is a society, we feel like we have to get the validation so much. And this world is just all about validation. And at some point we have to step back and really understand, right? There's a whole world, a whole life going on around us. Like it does not revolve around just social media. So I'm I'm I know I share a lot about my kids, but I've dialed back some too. Because you gotta remember, they gotta grow up. Right. What what do they want put out there? So I I just see that and I just be not not judging, I never judge, but I just be, you know, how is it gonna affect the housing?

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_02

Is this something that resurfaces and say if they get in the corporate room and their boss says, Oh, do you even though they were minors, like just how is it gonna affect them in 10 years?

SPEAKER_01

For sure, for sure. At that moment when you lost your job. Where were you at in your life? I know you was that a touchy subject.

SPEAKER_02

I was sick, money. I was sick, okay? Because I was in a place where I finally found like I had got my finances back together because after my divorce, I moved back in with my mom. And so I was like, oh yes, I'm about to move into this house. I'm about to get all of these things together. I was preparing to go on a trip to Spain for work within two weeks, and they took it. Everything flipped, and then there was some information that I found out about my son's father that literally happened in the same time frame. So my world was flipped upside down.

SPEAKER_01

I was, and I was like, ain't no way like how yesterday, how yesterday I had it all together, yeah, and today, what's that song? It was a song. Um, it was a song, it was a movie. The world's on top of me was like uh sometimes I go to bed on top of the world, to get the world on top of me. That what was the movie that from? I don't remember. You know, I'm talking about Beyonce sung it. She was in the movie. Girl, that that that's real. Yeah, that is real life. That is real life. What did you do? What like what was your plan?

SPEAKER_02

I cried for like a day. You're inside of the end. I cried for like a day because I was getting ready to go to California, and I was like, you know what? I'm supposed to leave for California tomorrow. So what I did was I left for California. Um You still went. Yeah, we still went.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Because I was like, this is already planned, pre-prayed for, and I'm a I'ma I'm gonna go. So I may not go to Spain, but I'm gonna go. And so I was like, okay, what are we gonna do? And I was like, Lord, what are my next steps? And literally, um, I was like, you've been an entrepreneur before. You said that you know that you want to solely be an entrepreneur, and maybe this is the time for you to go in all the way. And I've done, I've been really good at selling out. I've been good at selling out products, these blitz, these events, these things, but to actually implement systems behind that could actually run and that could produce longevity, and that's where I was.

SPEAKER_01

You needed that to push you into what it is. I I would yeah. It it teaches you to be prepared, but is one ever really prepared? Is one ever really ever really prepared? But how how transition to now? Like, how is the business going? Is this something that you do full-time completely now? I remember you say you took a break. Um, so you're back in the full. What does your ideal client look like? If if you was to to get the perfect client, what would she look like?

SPEAKER_02

My ideal client would be a mother who is exhausted, a mom who is probably dealing with one to three children.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, that's me. All right.

SPEAKER_02

And she's lost her voice, she's lost the ability to enjoy life because she's so consumed in appointments, making short therapies where like, you know, hair is probably not even brushed, and just in the face of feeling like, okay, I have to do this, I have to do this, and not being able to tap into the resources that may be right up under her nose, and just wanting to feel like uh herself again because you can't advocate boldly if you're exhausted, if you're depleted, and just looking for that one spark that that's not ideal time, okay. Nice, and how do you help them get there? What does it look like working with you? Working with me, we get to uh partake in our five-part strive method, and basically it's we have our group cohort and we're able to really dive into your mindset, we're able to dive into what it looks like to be able to change up your routine and find the small joys first before doing this whole dynamic change. Because especially if you're dealing with someone on the spectrum, you can't just shift your routines like that. You know, you have to be very mindful of your mind is always on medical mode. You can't it's if your child is non-verbal, it's like you have to have a different level of awareness. And so to be able to find rest in your awareness and rest in your, you know, always being on go mode.

SPEAKER_01

So your brain never turns off. No, your brain, and I'm talking about you specifically because I'm thinking about, like you said, and and and his dad, he's so young still, and everything is so new, and I'm sure you're still learning a lot day by day. How do you really prepare yourself to help somebody else knowing you know what I'm saying? Where where is your where is your where is your rest or your safe space? Or how do you how do you stay sane enough to help? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

I am I utilize my support system now. He now has a caregiver. So you know, I utilize those hours weekly. But at first it was like, oh, I don't trust anybody else with my baby, but it's like, no, like he's safe. Um I try to have him around kids as much as possible, whether it's like the library, like mom support groups, like reading library time or play dates, and that's where I and like even things like this, like coming out here working on purpose, but making sure I went to go get me a matcha from a bakery first. Yes. I was like, that's my moment. Like, yeah, when you think about matcha, and if you're getting ceremonial grade, it has to go through a heat process. You sift it, all those things, and it's just like my sister says she's whisked by grace, and that's why I'm just like, so every time I see one made and I get a little bit more.

SPEAKER_01

So the process for you is personal. I love that. Yes, I'm going to figure out how to make a latte. I'm gonna make a latte personal for me. I love me a hot milk latte. But no, I I love how you break that down. I love how you break that down because the process of making something and that's your moment, we all need our moments and we all need the space. And I think burnout is is real, very real. But it happens at a time where we don't even realize that it's happening until we're like in the midst of it, right? So for one who is busy, for one who can't show up for herself, what does it look like for you to try to get her to that point? Like, how do you how do you even break those old cycles with someone to get them onto the emotion of making time for yourself and showing up for yourself?

SPEAKER_02

Bring in awareness. Um, because sometimes you don't see the person that you're becoming until it's too late, right? Yeah um for me personally, like back in 2016 I had a triple abdominal aneurysm, and that's because I was constantly on the go, stressed, all of the things. And so I had that personal experience with myself. Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_01

You had an aneurysm. You went through a lot. A lot.

SPEAKER_02

And so that's why my passion is there. Like, hey, you don't want this to be you in your 20s, you don't want this to be you in your 30s, you sure don't want this to be you in your forties. Like you pour so much into everybody else, you pour into that job, you pour into your children, you pour into your partners, you're even willing, like, say you want a new boyfriend or a new mate, you're willing to learn them, but you haven't even taken the time to learn who you are in this season. What do you like in this season? If I asked you what brought you peace, or when's the last time you've experienced true joy, how would you be able to respond to me transparently?

SPEAKER_01

Are you asking me?

SPEAKER_02

You can't answer.

SPEAKER_01

I don't think my answer would be appropriate right now to answer the joy that I have. But but I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. At one point, I did not know what joy looked like.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like, because it was it was identity shaping with everything else. Like you had to show up with the with the mom hat, with the corporate hat, with whatever hat, but being Tammy or even deeper, being Tamika, I didn't know how to answer that at one point.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_01

But today it's intentional. Like my walk is intentional. Every everything about what I do, my peace, my rest, it's intentional. Because you brung up you had an aneurysm because of the stress. You know, your body will shut you down. Will shut you down. That's the one thing I don't ever want to play with anymore is my body and not getting stressed. Like when you're having anxiety attack. I used to suffer from that. Girl, they feel like heart attacks. Yes. Feel like heart attacks. And it have you questioning, am I going to die like this?

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_01

I don't want to die like this. Prioritize yourself. Prioritize yourself.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So let's get into this book. I love me an author now.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

I love me an author. What's the top five things that you want people to take away when they read this book?

SPEAKER_02

That they are strong enough to create the environment needed to execute their goals. That they are so much more than the biggest fabricated lie anyone has ever told them. That they are strong, that they are more than enough. And you have to show the world how to love you.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Especially when you get into relationships. Especially when you get because friendships, relationships, all teach people how to love you. And don't be ashamed to say no. Don't be ashamed to to speak up for yourself, what you what you will accept and what you won't accept. Because if you don't teach people how to love you, they're going to treat you and you're going to accept anything. And I I know, look, you was about to hit home with that, and I was about to go deep with that. Because that that was a part of my life. A part of my life. Now you did say, um, you did say you want people to be able to take away the um being strong and that they're capable of doing what they're supposed to do. Who do you feel like you're becoming in your next season to lead the next people you're supposed to lead? Because taking on uh taking on tasks and being strong enough to show up, you've done that, you've conquered that.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_01

But you're not done. You're young. Who do you think you have to become in that next season? Like who is who is he creating now?

SPEAKER_02

He is creating a woman that's way more intentional with her time. A woman that is not only consistent but persistent. Um it's easy to okay, do the 30, 60 day sprints, you know. But who is Janet every single day that she's waking up and consistent and persistent every single day?

SPEAKER_01

Not adapting habits, but a lifestyle change. Yes. I like that.

SPEAKER_02

I like that, Janet.

unknown

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01

So where um where's your book sold? Where can we find your book? You can find my book on Amazon or on my website, Strive With Mom. Strive With Mom. StriveWithMom.com. We're gonna put that in the in the description. Okay. Strive with mom. And that's um, it's a nonprofit or is it a full L C?

SPEAKER_02

It's a L L C.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. All right. Are you is there a plan? Because from what you do, there are plans. You know, my question was my question.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. Um, is there a plan for a nonprofit? Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Because what you do, it just aligns with the nonprofit world. Um, and I know the benefits and the resources you can get on the nonprofit aspect will be a lot beneficial for what you do. So there is plans to do a nonprofit. Okay. What's the goal of the nonprofit?

SPEAKER_02

The goal of the nonprofit is to basically be able to provide those resources to be able to provide classes, kind of like a foundation.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Um, and maybe even a home. Um, and I want to take it internationally though. Like even you going back to Japan, girl? Oh, yes. And my goal is to take days this year. Yes. But to basically even be able to integrate that within the international education arena for parents who may have a child with cerebral palsy or something like that, and their son or daughter really wants to go abroad, but they can have these same resources.

SPEAKER_01

I love to see when you really shape, because that's that's what I'm about. Like really shaping your experiences and what you've been through, not just to make money. Yeah, we want to make money, it's a business, but you have this sort of glow when you talk about it, and it's just so fluent, and it's like you are adamant about who you help and what you teach, and and just getting that awareness out there. Like, I you are amazing, and you are gonna go so far. You are amazing, and I'm gonna watch. And I met Janet Um, what year was that we we we encountered first? Was that 24 or 25?

SPEAKER_02

I think it was 25 actually.

SPEAKER_01

It was 25. That was February 22.

SPEAKER_02

February 2025.

SPEAKER_01

Right, right. So we met um at an event, um, and I didn't even know that we were connected with um, you know, the same mentor. I didn't I I knew it, but I didn't know it. I was in my own world. But when, you know, she hit me up to come on to the podcast and we were talking about it. I'm just like, I know you. She's dope. Like I'm gonna say, wait, where are we made before? But she's dope, and I and I love to hear people's stories. And if you are watching this episode and you know you need Janet, um, you need to connect with her. You need to connect with her. And I'm gonna volunteer her inbox, volunteer her DM because that's what she's here for. That's what she's here for. Tell people how we can reach you, how we can um get in contact with you if you need you.

SPEAKER_02

Um, you can follow me on Instagram at Strive With Mom or I am Janet Mingo, straight like that. Um, you can email me. Um there's also a message portal on the website where you can just, as soon as you click on, if you just need to send a quick message like, hey, I need your resources. Um, and I'm also launching the Strive Mama Reset uh starting in July. The Strive Mama Reset, what is that? It's an eight-week cohort where mothers are able to go through that framework, basically be able to reset, um, shift their mindsets, and start creating the community that they need to advocate boldly for their children. Nice. Is STRIVE an acronym for something?

SPEAKER_01

Or no, okay.

SPEAKER_02

It's a it's a battle between thriving and striving. So each and every day, sometimes it's gonna be a battle, but each day, kind of like when you strive towards the next thing. So some days are gonna be beautiful and some days are gonna be hard, but make sure you uh celebrate every moment of that strive. Yes, everything.

SPEAKER_01

So that's are you striving or or or surviving right now? Right. Are you striving or surviving right now? That's a good question. Are you striving or surviving right now?

SPEAKER_02

I would say I'm striving right now.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, do you still have your surviving moments?

SPEAKER_02

Oh yes, I do. I do, I do. Like sometimes even when it um my son is about to uh age out of EI, which is early intervention, and we're doing his special education, pre-K and all of that stuff, and I'm just like, hold on, I I'm used to this team and team. Like, so it's like evolving and going into a whole nother thing. So it's constantly reminding myself if God took care of my baby here, he's gonna take care of him here. And so me not saying like allowing fear to hold me back from or even hold him back.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. So how are you even gonna be when it's time for when he's in his teenage years? Girl, because how are you even gonna be? I think you're gonna have another one though. I I think you I I can see you having another finding finding your husband. Yes, husband, finding your husband and having another baby, and and just bringing everything just full circle, you know, and just showing people that you are not, you're you're not, or you don't have to stay where you start. You don't have to stay where you start. She had to learn to walk and now like bear children, raise a family. Like you're doing it.

SPEAKER_02

You don't have to stay where you started, you don't have to live in shame every day. Um, because I even remember when I first found out I was pregnant, I was shameful. Really? Yeah, I was shameful. I hid my pregnancy until I was eight months.

SPEAKER_01

Wait, this is this the year of hitting pregnancy? I had somebody else on the show that hit her pregnancy.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

This is the year of the high.

SPEAKER_02

My dad found out I was pregnant from a baby shower invitation that my sister texted.

SPEAKER_01

Wait, your dad found out what's your dad say?

SPEAKER_02

He called me. Is there anything you want to tell me? What are you talking about? Yeah, what you talking about, dad? What you talking about? Um, I just got this message from your sister Shamay. What did it say?

SPEAKER_01

He said, Oh, it's a baby shower invitation. Not scratching the neck, y'all. For those who's not watching the YouTube, she started scratching the neck, like, this bringing flashback. Yeah. Whole grown mama over here bringing flashback in my 30s, nervous.

SPEAKER_02

I think it was just because I had just gone through this divorce, refining my identity and going through this pregnancy alone, and thinking like I had just hit a new stage of life, and what does this look like? And I was in and out of the hospital, like the doctors were telling me that well, encouraging me to abort up until I was 34 weeks. Encouraging doctors do that because they were like, hey, depending how hard the pregnancy was on my body and how proud, they were like, you know, you gotta make this decision.

SPEAKER_01

Are you sure you want to go through with this? You know, the the crazy, I've never heard of the doctors encouraging an abortion. I'm shocked. I've I've I've never heard of that.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And when I say it was like a mentally rough process, so I never got to enjoy, like, ooh, I'm pregnant. Like, even sometimes I would feel him kick and I'd be like, ooh, is this gonna be your last kick? Is this last time?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that has got to be.

SPEAKER_02

And then when he was born, um, he had a period where he had stopped breathing, and I was just like, oh my goodness, Lord, you didn't bring me this far to take my baby away from me. And then, so it was like, okay, even after he was born, we're in and out of the hospital every other week. And then when we begin the diagnosis, he's already had three procedures and he's only two years old. So it's like, okay, God. God got his hand on him.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, he got his hand on him, and and he's gonna he's gonna be thriving. He's gonna be thriving and striving, and you're gonna watch that baby grow and develop, and he's gonna change people's lives.

SPEAKER_02

He's changed my life already. I'm such a softer version of myself since I had him.

SPEAKER_01

Wait, I can't see you no other way.

SPEAKER_02

You were tougher than this, you were you were harder than this. Yes. Okay. I can't see no other way. Once I gave my life to Christ, I became a softer version anyway. Okay. But once I had him and I felt that love towards him, like I've always been a nurturer, but it's just, I believed it maximized itself within me. Yeah. Um, even me being able to rely on other things, like outside of myself or saying like usually I'm not, oh, I got it.

SPEAKER_01

No, it's not, because now I see, like, no, it's so much more beautiful when you can rely on your community and you can be so the being becoming a mom, and and I know we we we become moms when we first most of us, I know you say you didn't have that normal experience when you were pregnant, but I know for most women we become moms when we do feel those flutters and the kicks, and we do find out, but just having a baby and bringing life, I know looking into my children's eyes when they were first born is just it makes you a whole softie and it makes you look at yourself in life completely different, completely different. So I get it.

SPEAKER_02

I cry more than I've ever cried in life.

SPEAKER_01

Come on, you a whole G, Janet. What's going on?

SPEAKER_02

I am a G, but I'm a G, but I'm in tune.

SPEAKER_01

With your with your with your matcha.

SPEAKER_02

I'm a G, but I'm in tune.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, yes. So um what what in your pastime your down seminar when you do completely turn off outside of the matcha? Um, what what what is your what is your pastime? What would you like to do?

SPEAKER_02

I love anything outside like being by water, um catching the sunset or sunrise. Sometimes it's me just going on a walk.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Or listening to a good audiobook, or experimenting new flavors to put in my matcha.

SPEAKER_01

Somebody better give you a sponsorship for this matcha for sure. Listen, she's taking them all. Taking them all. All of them. Taking them all. Well, this was so enjoyable. You are such a pleasure to have on the show. You are welcome to come back anytime.

unknown

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01

Any, anytime. Um, and I do want to um also invite you to come and speak inside of Mastery Mop and our community.

unknown

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01

Um if if you're willing, if that's something that aligns. We could definitely talk about that um in detail a little bit more. Because I like to bring um different voices to that space as well. Um, and because I do have uh some moms in that community who are who's dealing with actively dealing with um having children with certain diagnoses that are on the spectrum, and I I feel like your voice would be um very beneficial in that space. So um we could definitely talk about that. You are so beautiful, you are beautiful. So beautiful. Thank you, thank you. And you all are beautiful as well. Um, thank you for always joining and and chiming in and sharing and liking and subscribing. And if you haven't done that, make sure you do that now. Um, and if you're listening on all of the streaming podcasts, make sure you go ahead and drop your comments and definitely send us a rating. That is the only way we're gonna know if you're liking the content that we're putting out, and it's gonna be the way other people find us as well. And yeah, that is that for this episode. We are going to get up out of this studio, but um again, if you want to reach Ms. Mingo, um definitely drop your um drop your information one more time.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, strive with mom on Instagram or I am Janet Mingo on Instagram, as well as my website is www.strivewithmom.com.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, we're gonna strive with this mom. We're gonna strive with this mom. Thank you for joining us in the huddle, and thank y'all for tuning in. Crown on, shin up, and you rock the rest of your life.

unknown

I like that.