I Didn’t Know What I Wanted at 18… And That Was the Point | Suella Russell

If you can’t be yourself in the interview… you don’t want the job.

This episode is a real conversation about authenticity, career alignment, and why so many people feel stuck in work that doesn’t fit.

We get into:

•  Red flags in interviews (on both sides) 
•  Why people change jobs more than ever 
•  The danger of tying identity to your title 
•  How to actually find meaningful work 

No fluff. Just honest perspective.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

The other thing is for me is just being authentic. You know, it's being who you are so that you can present yourself in a true fashion. So it doesn't come across fake because when you're on the other side, you can spot someone with a fake.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

100%. Yes. I always told the students and I've told friends that, you know, when we talk about career things, the same kind of thing of like, look, if you can't be authentic in the interview, then you don't want to work there.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Hey everybody, this is CallerID. We're calling about your identity, your direction, and what you're doing with your life. I'm Brandon Davis Wells. Let's dig into what we're really doing here.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

Some of the most meaningful relationships in our lives aren't necessarily built around careers or job titles or professional accomplishments. They're often built around shared memories, family stories, laughter, and the simple joy of being together. Growing up, I spent a lot of time at Davis Family Reunions, where we built deep connections with our Pennsylvania and our North Carolina cousins and family. And if I'm being honest, I never knew what Suela did for work until recently when I said, hey, I probably should figure that out if I'm going to talk with her, looking for guests. But what defined her was laughter, warmth, presence, storytelling, and fun, and the kind of energy that makes gatherings light and fun. And really, I think that's the essence of what we're talking about in career and in calling and on the podcast is that our work doesn't define who we are. And so when I went to figure this stuff out, I said, Oh, oh, Suela has done some things. Like she's been in some leadership roles in HR and small business ownership. And that really does capture what the podcast is about. So today's conversation is about roots, identity, long road of becoming inside and outside of work. And I'm grateful to have Suela Russell here on Caller ID. Thank you for taking the call, my cousin.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

Absolutely. I am so I'm so glad to be here.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

All right. First question. How many jobs have you had in your life, if you can count them? Because I counted the other day for myself. And I think I was at like 33.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Oh, okay. Well, that's a good number. Because I was like, oh my gosh, I don't know how high I can go. I have a vast experience in many different types of jobs. But all of them, I think, underlying it's all customer service based for me, because that is no matter what the title held, I brought my customer service to it.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

What what was your first job?

SPEAKER_00 3:01

Dishwasher for my parents at their drug stop.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

Yes. I love it. I love it. Did your whole did all of your siblings do that?

SPEAKER_00 3:08

Oh, I don't know that they did dishwash. I did dishwashing. My sisters did um waitressing and skip did a lot of with the fuel pumps and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Yeah, yeah. Very cool. All right.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

Inventory. Oh, I remember taking inventory. So yeah, we did a lot of different things.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

It's funny how that it starts to trigger the memories, right? And you're like, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

So you grew up in a house where your your your mom and dad owned, you know, a small business, pretty good size one. How did you think how do you think that impacted your approach to work and identity and and career?

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Well, first of all, it gave me a really strong work ethic. Um and I think I was able to witness them being customer service. I mean, the way they treated people made such an impact on me that I've really taken it through every, every role, every position I've ever had. It was based on what I watched them do, modeling after them.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

Your folks were uh always some of the kindest people that I remember visiting uh at family reunions. And while most of our Davis family cousins were and and family were pretty nice, not everybody was all that approachable, but your parents to us were always so kind. So that doesn't surprise me that they were successful uh in that small business. When you meet somebody now, um, how do you describe what you do? Because so many people say, Oh, what do you do for a living? And and what are you up to right now?

SPEAKER_00 4:38

Well, the position that I'm holding is in HR. Uh, so I'm a specialist in I-9s, meaning that I make sure that through the company that I'm with now, that everyone is verified through the government.

SPEAKER_02 4:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

So that that's that's the that's the role I'm playing now. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 4:57

Do you uh are there other duties as assigned within that role?

SPEAKER_00 5:02

It's also kind of training uh and supporting stores because we have 1,111 stores. So it is helping the customer service managers or whomever's doing uh the onboarding in I-9 and answering questions that they have. I just actually had a uh J1 orientation, which is students coming in from other countries, and that was Monday. So since Monday, I think I've driven 700 miles coming up to Maryland.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

So do you think? I mean, you mentioned it, you you kind of learned that work ethic and that drive from from growing up in a family with small business. Do you think Southern culture has anything to do with that? Like, is there a piece of the South that maybe shaped your values as well?

SPEAKER_00 5:50

Oh, absolutely. Being around people from different cultures and different backgrounds and different from different areas of the country. Um, I think yes, being southern uh has definitely shaped me because it is welcoming to me. It's forgiving, it is um giving a piece of yourself with every person that I interact with. Um, so yeah, definitely I think I don't always get that from other people that have come from different areas, and I'm like, oh, okay, you're from up north. All right, I got it.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

I love that so much. And you're right, as somebody who spent most of my life in the north, although I I you know I've lived here in North Carolina for a short period, and I lived in Texas, which is its own entity, but has an element of that South piece too of welcoming and hospitality and grace. Um, that's fascinating. You know, when you look back at the journey, when you think, you know, hey, when I when you're 18, is this what you envisioned your career arc looking like? What did you think you'd be doing versus what you've done?

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Absolutely not. I had no clue. I I like to think of myself as a late bloomer. Oh, okay. So uh yeah, when I was 18, I literally had no clue. I actually thought I, you know, graduating from high school, my ideal was I was gonna go to school. I was gonna learn uh trucking because at that point my dad had his trucking business, and I thought, okay, I'm just gonna go into the family business. Um, and I did work, you know, with his company for a while. I learned, I think that's where I really learned um my navigation skills because I was doing fuel tax. So I had this big map that it was an atlas that was like probably six feet, and I would have to track where the trucks went and and figure up their mileage and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 7:45

So logistics management. I mean, that's what you're doing, right?

SPEAKER_00 7:49

Yes. And and that, and I really did love it, but then you know, along came marriage and getting pregnant, and then that kind of, you know, I entered a different role.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

When that happened, how did that shift your career identity, your identity? I talk all the time on this podcast about our jobs not being who we are or defining us, right? But becoming a wife and a mother had to make a shift. How did you balance when you shifted into that role? What did that look like for you?

SPEAKER_00 8:26

One of the mantras I say a lot is I am divinely held and protected. So for me, that just means I stepped into every role that I've stepped into, I immediately took on that, I guess, identity. And it was, it's really for me, it's been really seamless. Anytime I've stepped into something different, it's like, okay, this is what I'm doing now. And I just assume that that role. I think it's only been within the last six years that I had that aha moment where I realized, wait a minute, I'm tired of labels. You know, I'm tired of identifying as one thing or another. I'm, you know, not this worker, or I'm not this sister or mother or grandmother. It's I'm a human. And so that's where I stopped, kind of, oh, okay, well, this is today and this is what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

I love that so much. I I I have taught this in college classes. I I've tried to teach this in some some some church sort of ministry settings as well to say, you know, we're children of God, human beings, whatever your faith background is, right? Like, or you're agnostic or atheist, like you, you're still there's there's a piece of it that is separate from what we do or get to do. And I I it took me probably until my 40s before I started to like process that. And even at 48 and hosting this show that is all about this, I'm it's almost like I'm doing this because I need to keep reminding myself that I am not podcast host, I am not, you know, coach. It's hard.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

It is, it is, and I think society kind of teaches us to be compartmentalized into whatever that identity is at the moment, and stepping away from that, and you know, I am at the place now where I'm in today, you know, and today this is what I'm doing. And I think at the end of the day, as long as I I I personally identify as a helper, I think as if I've helped someone during that day, or I've made someone smile, or I've gotten a thank you, then I'm like, okay, today was a good day.

SPEAKER_02 10:42

That is awesome. Let me ask you, what is it about HR? You've had some other roles in HR, right? And that is all about career and finding the right puzzle pieces. What were some of the things that you, what are some of the things that you've loved about being in HR and what are some of the hard parts?

SPEAKER_00 11:01

Well, I think what I found is different companies define HR differently. The previous company I was in at HR, you know, I I had always imagined HR being, okay, that's where you go for help, you know, and I thought, oh, this is going to be a perfect fit for me because I identify as a helper. I'm going to help people. And then it turned out to be in that particular role as an admin in HR, it felt more like sales because I was trying to get people in to work and calling people and scheduling orientations and or actually doing orientations and doing their I-9s. And the most reward rewarding part of being an admin for me in that particular position was when I had the package handlers come up to the window and I helped them navigate setting up their direct deposit or signing up for this or that or whatever, getting logged in. That was what brought me my joy. And I had to focus on, okay, I did, I helped someone today, and that's what I needed.

SPEAKER_02 12:11

I I really like that too. I I think focusing on those small victories or small wins, right, uh is so critical for us because we tend to look past the present into the future. And I was just learning about delayed happiness, which is never really gonna happen. I don't know if you've familiar, I just heard this term, delayed happiness. Like if you're waiting for this to happen, then you'll be happy.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Um yeah, no, no, that that's part of I think my journey is learning that, and I think because of Ecart Toilet, it's like all we've got is this present moment. Can't change anything in the past. I'm not gonna be able to predict what's gonna happen tomorrow. I don't even have tomorrow. I have this moment, and so whatever I'm doing in this moment is what needs to bring me my joy.

SPEAKER_02 12:59

I would love it. Um, so you owned your own small business for a while. Tell me what that was like, what you did. So people out there are like, okay, what were the pros, the cons? Because I have a lot of friends that are small business owners that are out there that are listening. Maybe even some words of wisdom that like you can share in your experience.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

Oh, well, my small business was being a wedding officiant. So, you know, I became a wedding officiant uh when Corey got married. His fiance at the time had a dream that I married them. Wow, and so I figured out, oh, that's a reality. Okay, so I can do that. So I got my license from a non-denominational business and I married them. And then I also married Carly and her husband, and I let it sit for a while.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

Quick pause. If you're enjoying this, make sure you're following or subscribed wherever you listen. It helps more than you think. If it's hitting home, take 10 seconds, five stars, share it with somebody who needs it. Just a quick reminder.

SPEAKER_00 14:10

And then about 2018, is like, I really want to do this a lot. So got on thumbtack. I created my business, Wedding Vows for You. And um, you know, started working with and getting jobs that had me traveling all the way from the mountains to the coast to do. And I really liked that part of it. But I I think it was just making the connections, you know, with the brides and the grooms and having those conversations of what do you want your special day to look like? What do you want your vows to say? You know, how do they reflect who you are as a couple and helping them build that? And that brought me so much joy in doing that.

SPEAKER_02 14:57

I mean, back to that thread that you talked about about helping, being a helper, but you're also in some ways doing a little bit of shepherding and a little bit of pastoral role in that, a little bit, right?

SPEAKER_00 15:08

A little bit, yeah. I mean, because not everybody wanted anything biblical in there. And I always left them up to them. If you want Bible verses, fine. I can give you some Bible verses that'll work. You want something more spiritual? Absolutely. I know exactly where you're at. I can help you with that. Giving some life experience uh lessons in that. Sometimes for some of the couples, it felt like uh a therapy session, but uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

I believe it.

SPEAKER_00 15:37

Yeah, just giving a little bit of myself to them and and being able to be a calming presence in a day that sometimes has a lot of nerves and jitters.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

So what decision or non-decision, maybe a yes or a no that you've made in your career, uh, ended up sort of shaping your career more than you realized at the time.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Well, you know, when I look back on my journey, I look back on my career. I I don't know, I've always just gone with the flow with whatever was presented at that moment. The job that I'm in now was literally because the previous position had changed. I was starting to work overnight, and I'm like, okay, I can't do this. And I just I just put it out there. Okay, if there's I and I started looking, not seriously, but I just put it out there. I am worthy of a job that's gonna treat me the way I need to be treated. And it really just fell into my lap. I had this interview, and my manager, he would be my manager, and I was just so impressed with him and the company. I walked out of that interview and I just said, he's gonna be my manager one day. And it took about four months because I actually had to create this position. They didn't have, uh they only had one position, but the company had grown so big they needed to create another one. So it took about four months, and then I got into this role, and I was like, okay, it was meant to be. So it's always just been going with the flow.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

Uh and I think that's a great philosophy, right? Most of the time, I think that really is a helpful way to do it, or a healthy way to do it, I should say. You've been on both ends of the interviewing spectrum, you've been in some interviews as a on a committee and those kinds of things, I assume, and and then you've interviewed for plenty of jobs. What are some things that you've seen or that you would, I don't know, give people wisdom on, either on both ends as an interviewee and as an interviewer? Like, what do you try to find out when you're when you're on the interviewing side where you're trying to figure out who fits? And then what do you see from people that you're like, oh my gosh, I can't believe they did that or said that?

SPEAKER_00 17:51

Well, I think one of the key things, and this is for me, the biggest thing that I learned was find out about the role that you're interviewing for and the company so that you know the background. A lot of people, I I have being on the other side, I they come in and they don't even know it's it's just a job, it's just an interview. They don't know anything about the company, what it stands for, what the job is or the role that they're applying for. But I've always tried to do my research uh when I go into it. So that way I've got that in my back pocket and I'm confident about that. The other thing is for me, is just being authentic. You know, it's being who you are so that you can present yourself in a true fashion. So it doesn't come across fake because when you're on the other side, you can spot someone with a fake 100%.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

Yes. I always told the students and I've told friends that that you know, when we talk about career things, the same kind of thing of like, look, if you can't be authentic in the interview, then you don't want to work there.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

Right.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

Right. If they don't like who you are, then guess what? You you like you better show your cards a little bit. I mean, don't show your full crazy, right? Because none of us want to show our full crazy all the time. But you know, you got to give some authenticity there.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

You do because how if you're not gonna be authentic in the interview, how are you gonna present every day? That's that would be exhausting trying to be someone else every day in a job for eight hours. You can't.

SPEAKER_02 19:17

That would drive up, it'll catch up too.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Yes. So you might as well be yourself and be who you are, you know, a polished version of who you are. Uh, but yeah, you can't. You can't.

SPEAKER_02 19:30

And I like the other piece too, um, where you know, you're you're talking about um the first thing you said, which was to research the company, if you're one of the people, if you're looking for a job, you know, same thing. One of the questions I asked when I was doing some HR was, What do you know about the mission? When I worked for the Salvation Army, I said, What do you know about the mission of the Salvation Army? And if they had no idea or they they just like I was like, Yeah, they're out. Yeah, I don't want this person just wants a job, they don't want this job, right?

SPEAKER_00 20:02

And there's right, because if you're invested in that job and if you really want it, I I was like, okay, let me find out what this company because if I find out what the company's about and it doesn't align with me, okay, maybe I don't even want to apply to this job.

SPEAKER_02 20:16

Oh, say more. I love that. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Why why would you want to, and that I really feel like it's key. And even a company that appears it's gonna be in alignment. I have found that sometimes once you get into it, yeah, maybe it doesn't quite align exactly. And for me, I've always been one of these people. Okay, that's when I leave. And that might be why I've had so many jobs, is because when it doesn't feel like it's working anymore, it's like, okay, I'm tapping down, I can't do this.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

Yeah, you're you're preaching to the choir on that one. I I mean, again, I've had a ton, and I think as soon as my mission alignment is not it drifts and we're not on, you know, we're not on the same page. Yeah, if I can't help corral that mission alignment, if I'm not in a role that's able to help shape that, um, or given the authority and responsibility to be able to do that, I'm I'm out. I don't want any part of it. I I've told students, I've told my friends the same kinds of things, like it's important what questions you ask. Um, and I said, and maybe you have an example, but I always told folks and still do, some of the questions you can ask about getting to the culture of a place is important. And I said, you know, you want to ask people, what's your favorite part of working here? You're gonna get an interesting answer. Any suggestions on questions that you would ask in those situations to try to get to somebody's culture? Because if you ask, hey, what's the culture like, they're all gonna everybody's gonna say, it's great. We're one big happy family. Everybody loves everybody. And that's not true.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

Yeah, no. You know, I think maybe asking someone what you what you dislike most, what what is hardest for you here. In this company that you have struggled with. And just, you know, seeing what someone comes, especially if you're the interviewee, seeing what the person in charge has to say about that. Because there's, there's going to be something. You've had to struggle. Everybody struggles with something within a company. So if they're able to be honest about that, and that's what you want. That's what I want, is that someone who's going to be honest about what a struggle is. Because we all have struggles, companies have struggles. So, you know, doesn't mean it's a game changer or deal breaker for me, but I just want to know. That's to me, knowledge is power. And if you can give me that knowledge about what's not working, okay, that's that's that's good to know.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

Hey, if you're enjoying this, make sure you're following or subscribed. Wherever you listen, it helps more than you think. If this episode's hitting home, take 10 seconds, hit five stars, whatever it takes, share it with somebody who needs it. Also, I do some longer form reflections over on Substack. If you want to go deeper, I'd love to have you there. You can find that link in the show notes as well. I'm visiting with Suela Russell. And what do you wish somebody had told you about work or career when you were younger?

SPEAKER_00 23:14

Oh wow. Well, you know, even though I've I've talked about how I watched my parents model, um, how they treated people, they didn't really give me that, being from the silent generation, they didn't really share um, you know, what their business side of that, what that looked like. Um, and I think I would have really liked to have have had that. How did you start up your business? How did you make it successful? How did you have so many successful businesses? You know, and now looking back on that, I didn't have the the skills or like I said, I was a late bloomer. Yeah. So by the time I got to having that in my thought, uh, my dad had already passed. And, you know, actually my mom had two. So I didn't really have that uh to be able to ask them, how did y'all do that? But my mom and dad were two totally different people. My dad was an entrepreneur and he wanted to do that. My mom was the careful person, was like, oh about that. So I would have gotten way two different answers from them.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

Good balance. That's usually how it works in a relationship.

SPEAKER_00 24:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Um, how do you define a good career at this stage of your life to somebody? How would you define that to somebody? I mean, you and I have some similarities in that we have bounced around a little bit and been in different roles. Um you're not too far off from retirement. You're somewhere out there, right? Like it's somewhere out there.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Ten years down the road, maybe.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

Well, you're closer than I am. Yes. You know, but what do you how would you define that? Well, can you? I mean, is it a definable thing?

SPEAKER_00 25:05

I don't even know. I a career, I think we have such a narrow vision of what a career looks like. Because when I look at my career, I really define it by I've been in customer service. My titles have been different, but the underlying is I help people, I treat them the way I would want myself to be treated, the way I want my child to be treated, my parent, my grandparent. So that's in every role that I was in, that is what I brought to it. And being able to be kind to someone. And as a career, I can look and say, okay, you know, I was happy with that. I am happy with that. In my present role that I'm in now in HR, I really there are days that are really hard because a lot of it's reporting. And that is the least favorite thing for me to do. When I have to get into an Excel spreadsheet, I literally have an anxiety attack.

SPEAKER_02 26:06

That's funny. I I ask people uh one of the questions I ask people all the time is that sort of like what brings out your inner Larry David from curb your enthusiasm, if you're familiar with that, which is like what situations tend to trigger you or frustrate you the most? And then what brings out your Ted Lasso where you're like the most joyous? And I think you kind of answered the first part.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

Yes, yes. On on the Mondays when it's my week to do the report, I'm like, can I just call out today? You know, because I but I I jump in and I do it. And I, you know, I I have learned over time that I do have a like an eye for details so I can pick out things that don't look right and and I can get it done. It might be slower than someone else doing uh this report, but I I know at the end when I get done with it, okay, everything's in there that's supposed to be in there. But like the days that I oh, it's the good day. It's like when I was at this uh orientation and I got to talk to people and help people and and face-to-face, you know, having that communication. And I'm a relationship builder. That's what I that is what I tell in all of my interviews. You want to build a relationship? Okay, I'm your person because I talk to people, I'm present with them in that moment, and I make them feel seen.

SPEAKER_02 27:25

I'm not sure if you're familiar with the the Clifton strength finder stuff or any of that. Like I I come up as a woo, which is like the like as the highest thing that I'm fifth one.

SPEAKER_00 27:35

Oh, see?

SPEAKER_02 27:35

Yeah, I mean, that's that real but that bridge building part of that is is important too. I I think it took me, I think until recently, to realize and start narrowing down some things that I know I don't want to be a part of with work. And and you know, the last job I I took that ended up being a bad fit on my end. It was my fault because I didn't understand, I didn't really evaluate it well. Uh, I was there for a month and I realized this is too administrative and not enough people, not enough relationships, not like those things are real to figure out about yourself, and you've figured it out.

SPEAKER_00 28:10

Well, and that's a process. It's a process, and it takes self-reflection uh somewhere along the journey to to really stop and think. And I know you've talked about Ikagai, and I and I think about you know that that brings me joy and I'm able to make money. And if you can find that in even if it's a small slice of what you're doing, uh it really makes the career, the job, the day go by a lot better if you can find that little spark of joy. And and yeah, it it is knowing. One of mine is adaptability. So, whatever it is that's coming down the road, I just adapt to it and go go with the flow. Because when you start trying to go upstream against the flow, that's when life gets really hard.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

That's a fact. I think adaptability was in my top four. I think it was like we uh woo, communicator, adaptability. I I can't, it's been a year or two since I've looked at all that. Now I can't remember the fourth one, but those are helpful tools. Uh, have you ever done the Enneagram or any of that?

SPEAKER_00 29:15

I'm a two, yes.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

Okay, all right.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I've done all of those. I am uh INFJ. Um, we have something at work called Insights Discovery. So I'm a yellow, which is high energy, and then I'm a green, which is grounded. And so, like my reporting and all that, that's at the very bottom of my that would be for me too.

SPEAKER_02 29:37

I'm interested to hear more about that. I'll have to ask you about that offline because I'm always trying to figure out how I can learn more of those sort of there. Any of those tests are are helpful. The Enneagram, Myers Briggs, all those things are helpful tools as long as we don't let it p the the the strength finder, as long as we don't make that pigeonhole someone or put somebody into a box, right?

SPEAKER_00 29:58

Right, right, absolutely. And it's it's called labeling them. Do I identify as this? Again, no, it's just uh a part of who I am. And I recognize that that I do when I am in my good spot, yeah. Uh, yeah, my yellow energy really shines. When I'm not, you can tell because it's like I personally I close in that introvert in me. I'm a I'm an introverted extrovert or an extra, I'm one of those because it's like when things are going good, all right, I'm all out there. When you see me at the reunion, I'm in my happy place. I'm with people that I love and care about, and I am yellow energy. But when things don't fit, when they feel negative, when I sense negative energy, it's like, okay, I just start withdrawing in. It's like I'm not, don't want to be a part of that.

SPEAKER_02 30:48

I am clearly an extroverted extrovert if there ever was one. And so, regardless of if I like you'll know if my energy is always gonna be high, but it might be a really negative energy, just a high level of it. All right, got a couple more questions. We're gonna do a little word association.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 31:07

Career.

SPEAKER_00 31:09

Doesn't define you. I mean, you know, a career is you can change that at any given moment. You can change your career based on who you feel like you are at any given time. And sometimes careers, I I do think we're conditioned to think it's something that you're gonna have all your life. But again, I have just always been one that monitors how I feel. And if if whatever this career is right now isn't feeling right to me, then okay, it's time to look for something different.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

I love what you said about self-reflection just a little bit ago. Because I think it's taken me a long time to sort of get into that process of metacognition, right? The like, why am I feeling this way? Why am I thinking this way? So you're thinking about thinking or you're thinking about your feeling, and that is incredibly important. And you hit the nail on the head right there. How about calling?

SPEAKER_00 32:05

Calling requires self-reflection. I mean, I think you're never gonna find what your calling is or what your purpose is unless you stop and you think about what makes you happy, what drives you, what um what you want to do with those feelings that make you feel this way. So if you don't, if you never self-reflect, if you never stop long enough to think about those things, then you're not gonna know what your calling is.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

Success.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Success is everybody, it has it's a different perspective from everybody. You know, you can find success, and I have found success, like I said, in the little things. And it my definition of success 25 years ago was definitely different than what my version of success is now. So I think it's uh it's a fluctuating viewpoint based on uh your values and and what what makes you happy, what's driving you, what um keeps you going every day. Failures is also a time to self-reflect and think, okay, why didn't that go the way I wanted it to go? I mean it shouldn't define you because nobody's perfect. Um a failure for one person is not going to be a failure for the next person, but you also have to take what you need to. Everything's a lesson to me. And I don't know that I really define anything as a success or failure. It's a what did I learn out of this? And what do I need to change or do I need to change because of whatever I've learned? And then let it go because the next day it's already in the past and there's nothing you can do about it.

SPEAKER_02 34:02

Identity.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

You know, I have sometimes I've struggled with identity because I came from, I think, a generation that that was an important thing, how you how you are seen by others. I have come to learn that my identity is again go on. I'm a human. I I identify as a human. I'm a a light source, an energetic being. The roles that I've played through my life were have never been my identity. Um, and I don't think you should be pigeonholed by any one form of identity, I think.

SPEAKER_02 34:52

There's a lot of wisdom in what you just said, and I I agree. Last question. When you look ahead, what kind of work or life are you hoping to grow into next?

SPEAKER_00 35:07

I actually I at the stage of my life that I'm in now, I don't even think I'm looking that far ahead. I really just take it day to day and see what it is. I I'm not looking at five years down the road because based on where I've been, I literally don't even want to think about I I don't even plan for that. Um, that would probably give me anxiety. So sorry.

SPEAKER_02 35:37

No, and I think there, I look, I think what you're saying is is is really um a good approach. Not that you need me to validate it by any means, right?

SPEAKER_00 35:47

No, and and everybody has their own way of looking at their life and what they want to achieve. For me, where I am now, I think five years ago, would I have thought that I am where I'm gonna be? No, I would never have dreamed that I am where I am right now. So I keep open to whatever possibility is, know that there are doors always opening for me that I have no idea where they are gonna take me. And you know, I'm gonna go with the flow.

SPEAKER_02 36:19

All right, last one. What would you want younger Suela to know from older, not old, older Suela?

SPEAKER_00 36:32

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 36:33

Um it's like that Brad Paisley song, right? Like if I you could write a letter to yourself.

unknown 36:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:39

I think to listen, listen to myself, listen to my inner, my inner instincts, my gut, because I think growing up, I really listened to what other people either thought I should be doing or what I thought the expectation of what I should be doing was. I mean, I've always made decisions and based on what I wanted to do, but I don't know that I really followed my gut. So I would tell younger Suela, stop and listen to what your heart's saying, what your gut's saying, and go with that.

SPEAKER_02 37:20

I love it. Thank you so much for joining us today.

SPEAKER_00 37:22

Absolutely. It's been a pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 37:27

Thanks for listening to the Caller ID podcast. Please don't forget to like, share, and subscribe with all of your friends on all of your social media platforms. Thanks again signing off. Brandon David as well.