Overcoming Self-Sabotage: Aligning Actions with Desires

Discover the power of self-awareness and transformation. Break free from self-sabotage and align your actions with your desires for a fulfilling life.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

What's up family? Welcome to another episode of the I Can't Help Them Podcast. It's your boy, it's your host, Rodney Footman. Back with another episode. Yo, you know, it's been about two weeks since I dropped the episode. But listen, I'm but ever better than before. You know, the devil will be trying to do things and all that type of stuff. And so we we did listen, he he did what he did, but guess what? I'm coming back greater. And guess what? This episode is for what he just did and what I had to go through and my process that I had to go through. And you know, y'all gonna get some some of me, which you always get some of me in every episode, but you're gonna get some of me, you know what I'm saying. I know some of y'all seen my Facebook post and I'm dropping this episode. You know what I'm saying? So today's episode, listen, listen, listen, listen. It's gonna make you look in the mirror now. It's it's gonna make you look in the mirror, it's gonna make you look in the mirror because a lot of us keep blaming people, the enemy, our past, our circumstances, but the real issue is you. The real issue was me. It was me. So today's episode is called self-sabotage.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

When you're the one in your own way, you're the one in your own way. Listen, I was in my own way.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

I was in my own way, y'all. I was in my own way. Listen, listen, self-sabotage is when your actions don't align with your desire. Let me let that sit here right there. When your actions don't align with your desires, listen, you say you want better, but your habits don't match it. You want growth, but you avoid discipline. You want peace, but you entertain chaos. You want purpose, but you stay comfortable. Self-sabotage is not a lack of desire, it's a lack of alignment. Yeah, I'm hitting y'all in the first five minutes. We we getting into this thing today. Listen, self-sabotage is not a lack of desire, it's a lack of alignment. Listen, you're torn between who you are and who you say you want to be. Who you are and who you want to be. Listen, I'm gonna go back through these again because this was good. Listen, you won't grow, but you avoid discipline. You want to be where you want to be. Listen, I was there. I wanted to be where I wanted to be, but I avoided discipline in some of the areas of my life. Like, I listen, let's get real. My health. I want, listen, I want these muscles, but I avoid going to the gym every day. Listen, I want to be financially wealthy and financially stable, but yet I'm buying fast food. I'm buying shoes, I'm buying clothes every week. Listen, this this I'm talking about me. I'm talking about me. I want peas, but I keep hanging. I was hanging with people that brought me chaos. We're not doing that no more. They cut, they cut, they cut. I wanted purpose, but I was staying comfortable. And even when the Lord was trying to get me uncomfortable, I still was trying to stay in the place of comfortability. I'm here to tell you, listen, self-sabotage is real. So I I had the desires. I had desires, I had desires, I did, I did, I did, I had desires, but I wasn't in alignment. I lacked alignment. But we praise God today because today I got discipline and I got alignment. But anyway, you're torn between who you are and who you say you want to be. Listen, let's be real. Self-sabotage usually comes from deeper issues. They come from deeper issues. The fear of failure, the fear of success, low self-worth, comfort and familiar dysfunction, and trauma and past experiences. We're gonna start right now. Because failure, failure, listen. Some people, some people are afraid to fail. And one thing about it, if you don't try and fail, you'll never learn from the failure. Because you can fail, but you can learn from the failure. It's never a failure, really. It's really a lesson to know how to move and to know how to navigate the next time you go about something, the next time you do something. Some people are for fear of success. Listen, I'm not gonna lie, I was a little bit afraid of success because I know with great success comes great responsibilities. And I was one of them people like, I was one of them people like, I didn't want the responsibilities. Everybody's gonna be looking at me. What if I fall? If I fall, are people still gonna follow me? Because listen, one thing about the saints, they crucify people. They put you up on the cross, they nail you to the cross, G. You mess up one time, they done it. And see, when with my upbringing and how I was brought up, like I never wanted to mess up. I wanted to be perfect. I wanted to be perfect. So the feel of success meant to me more visibility, more vulnerability as well. Not only do I have to be visible, but I have to be vulnerable too. How are people gonna help me with my vulnerability, with my issues, with some of the things that I would like to share with people? How are they gonna sell me? You know, I'm supposed to be successful, I'm this big time successful person, but then I had to realize like that don't matter. It don't matter, it don't matter, it don't matter because you'll never reach the successful place. Being fierce and says, You're gonna take on God is not God wouldn't put it in you for you. God wouldn't put it in you if you couldn't handle it. He wouldn't put that responsibility if he didn't think you could handle the responsibility. And you also gotta do your part though. You gotta make sure that you're able to handle the responsibility that comes with your success, your level of success that you're gonna have. Low self-worth, not thinking too lowly of yourself. I had this one couple that tell me that that's a form of pride. When you when you think too lowly, thinking too highly of yourself and thinking too lowly of yourself, because thinking too lowly of yourself is still not thinking what God thought about you if you think too lowly of yourself. Listen, that's a form of pride. Listen, I know this first five minutes I'm hitting y'all real good, but it's okay. Y'all gonna be all fright. Okay, low self-esteem, comfort and familiar dysfunction. Get out of that dysfunction. Some of y'all don't even know how to act outside of dysfunction. Some of y'all don't even know what peace looks like. You're always in dysfunction. You gotta be in some type of chaos, you gotta be in some type of something. You don't know what it is not to be in dysfunction. Let's go, G. Listen, trauma and past experiences. Do not allow your past to stop your future. The past is the past. The Bible says he throws it. Once you ask for forgiveness, he throws it into the sea of forgiveness. Throw it into the sea of forgivefulness just like your father up in heaven, and go on because your past does not determine your future. Yes, we like to say it, but we don't really know what we're saying. Your past does not determine your future. It don't. Your past don't determine your future, G. Your past do not. I'm gonna say it one more time. Your past don't determine your future. Just because something happened to you in your past does not mean it's gonna happen to you right now, and does not mean it's gonna happen to you in your future. Listen, your past is your past, it's your past for a reason. What you need to do is just look back at it and learn and take take the lessons from it and go to your future to make sure that that don't ever happen again. Because it's not gonna happen again. Because the Bible says the enemies that you see today, listen, y'all gonna have me preach up here. The enemies that you see today, you'll no longer see again. So listen, your past does not determine your future, it don't determine your future. Sometimes you don't move forward because deep down you don't believe you deserve better. Listen, I was there. I was there. I felt like because I was messing up in some of these areas of my life, I wasn't doing, I might have been good in this area, I went good in that area that God can't bless me. That God is not gonna bless me because I'm not good in this area, but I'm good in that area. I focus more on this area, but I don't focus on this area. Yeah, I just felt like I didn't deserve. I felt like where I was, that's what I deserve. And the truth of the matter is that's not true. I got I gotta make sure my mic on, y'all, because last time I recorded the episode, uh, I didn't even have the mic on. But yo, you deserve better. Some of us don't believe we deserve better, some of us believe that we deserve right where we at, and that can be so far from the truth. You deserve better. I don't care what state you're in, I don't care where you're at in life, you deserve better. Listen, so when things start going right, you mess it up. Not because you want to fail, but because you're not used to winning this. And I'm gonna tell y'all, I'm gonna tell y'all the truth. That used to be me. I used to, I used to look. Listen, I used to look for um, I used to look for the bad. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. Like, okay, well yeah, this this is too good to be true. What's coming? Something coming. Uh-uh. Something coming. Something coming. So let me go ahead and exit. Let me go ahead and find a way to get myself, because this is too good to be true. I ain't been winning like this for I ain't never won like this. Never. So this is too good to be true. Listen, I listen, I almost self-sabotage the relationship because I thought, you know what I'm saying, talking to this young lady, and things are moving, things are moving pretty fast, pretty fast, pretty quickly. But everything is aligning. It's aligning, right? And everything that I prayed for is there, right? Even some of the stuff I didn't pray for is there. But in my head, I'm thinking, this is too good to be true. Like, uh-uh. Something to come up, something. So let me go ahead, start backing back. Let me go ahead and start falling back. But no, that was like a push to me. Like, go. Go forward, baby. Go forward, keep going, keep going. And we we still going, y'all. I ain't letting y'all know who it is yet. Y'all see when I pop out. When I pop out, baby. But I'm just saying, that's just how we sometimes as people, you know, we self-sabotage in that area because we don't think we deserve or we don't think we can win. We think when stuff is going good, that something bad is finna get ready to happen, then that's far from the truth, too. Because once God bless you with something, He blesses you. And that God's been blessing me. Hallelujah. Listen, self-sabotage doesn't always look obvious. Listen, now this we're finna break this down. It don't always look obvious, but it looks like procrastination, it looks like inconsistency, starting but not finishing, overthinking everything, going back to toxic situations, avoiding opportunities. Listen, I have done every last one of these things. Every last one of these things that I listed, I know I've done a time or two in my life. Procrastination. Oh yes, definitely procrastinated. Procrastinated on so many ideas, so many things that I said I was gonna start and never started. Inconsistency. I'll start, I'll get pumping, get going, and then I'll stop. I get going, get going, inconsistent. And to be honest, I was inconsistent with myself, not with others. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of us, some of us do that. We are consistent with other people and other people's things and what other people doing, but we're not consistent with ourselves. We don't choose us. And right now, I'm in a season of choosing me, baby. I've been going through this mentorship called Decoded. And this man, uh, Dr. Christopher Montgomery, I'm telling y'all right now. This now he does decoded. Y'all need to be in decoded because this mentorship has wrecked my life in a good way. And when I tell you, listen, everything is changing in my life because of this program, and these are the things that I had to realize. These are the things that he makes you confront, he makes you see about yourself. That was one thing I was I was inconsistent with me. With me. I wasn't choosing me. I chose everybody else, but I did not choose me. Uh I will start things but not finish. Y'all done seen me do stuff. I've done programs, I've done conferences, but it's been like one time, and then uh you don't see me no more for about two years, another time. You don't see me no more for about another year or two. Like, so I was starting, but I wouldn't finish. Overthink. I overthink I'm still listening I'm an overthinker. That's just me. It's not me, but it is me. I'ma overthinker. I do overthink. Listen, going back to toxic situations, listen, I used to do that too, not doing that no more. I ain't going back to another toxic situation in my life. You toxic, you're out of here, you go. Avoiding opportunity. Definitely did that. I avoided so many opportunities. Like, the opportunities that I had, yo, I shouldn't even be, I should be, I'm just being honest. Like, I've had some great opportunities to where I've downplayed myself. Um, and thinking that I wasn't ready and thinking that I needed this or I needed that, self-sabotaging myself when the people that gave me the opportunity, they saw it in me. So why I'm thinking I'm not worthy enough if they see me good enough to be able to do the opportunity. I was self-sabotaging myself because I've had some great opportunities, even when it comes to speaking platforms, even coming with being conferences, even when it comes with podcast opportunities and all types of things I've had the opportunity to do and I didn't do because I self-sabotage. I'm just letting y'all know this is why I'm doing this episode because I don't want y'all to do the same thing that I used to do. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's subtle. Listen, it's subtle, but it's costly because every time you self-sabotage yourself, you delay your own progress. And I've delayed my progress long enough, and I had to come to a place in my life to be like, well, I'm just gonna be real. Negative if you don't get yourself together, you have no excuse. You have nothing holding you back. Get yourself together. And I'm telling you this: you have no excuse. You have nothing holding you back. I don't care what you think you might have holding you back, I don't care what you think that you need to have all this. No, right now, you change your self-sabotage, you start thinking differently, you start moving differently. Listen, your progress will shoot up so fast, you delay your own progress, G.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

You ain't got to.

SPEAKER_01 15:04

You ain't gotta delay your progress, G. You gotta delay your progress.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

Don't delay, don't delay, don't delay, don't delay.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

Don't delay your own progress. Listen, let me say this clearly, let me say this clearly. Everything is not spiritual warfare, everything is not people, everything is not your environment. Some of it is your decisions. Your listen. Right now, in the name of Jesus, I pray for every person that is going to watch this podcast, that's going to see this podcast, that's going to hear this podcast. Lord, I pray that you be involved in every decision that they make this day forward, that this decision, every decision that they will make, will align with their purpose and who they are in you. Amen. In Jesus' name. I just wanted to pray that because your decisions determine where you're going. They determine where you're going. And listen, God is not a person where he's going to force himself on you. He's not doing that. He's not forcing himself on you. He's going to let you choose. He lets you make the decisions in your life. Listen, you can't pray for change and keep choosing the same pattern. We do that. Y'all we do that. We be like, Lord, we need you to do this, Lord, we want you to do this, Lord. I need this, I need that, I need to. And we keep doing the same. How does that work? I used to think that though. I ain't gonna lie. I used to think that. I used to think if I prayed it, it's gonna happen. I ain't think I had to put no work in. I ain't think I had to do anything. You know what? The view I had on God at my and especially at my younger age, my younger age, especially like money and stuff, if I pray for a million dollars, God just gonna drop it on me. Or or if I if I pray for this thing, that thing, God just gonna drop it on me because I'm his child. Now, don't get me wrong, he gives me blessings every day. He give me things that I ask for, some things I don't ask for, he gives to me and I praise him and I worship him. But some things you you're gonna have to work for, G. You're gonna have to work a little bit. You come out to work a little bit, you know what I'm saying? Hey, like, listen, I wanted the body of six pack, blah, blah, blah. I'm thinking, oh, it's just gonna happen. I ain't know I gotta go to the gym and work out. I gotta go, I gotta eat right. Oh my gosh, I gotta eat right. I had to eat right, y'all. Listen, it's been a blessing, though, because I got more energy, but listen, I miss some stuff I miss. I ain't gonna lie. Especially when they come to eating right. Listen, I ain't gonna lie, I just had a piece of strawberry cake from this place called Mr. Charles. Oh my gosh. Listen, if you ain't had, if you in the Charlotte area, you need to go to Mr. Charles Chicken and Fish and get that strawberry cake. My God, today. Ah, it's wonderful. But you can't pray for change and keep choosing the same patterns. You just you just can't do it. I mean, I had to realize that too. Don't worry. I'm telling y'all everything that I'm telling y'all, I had to realize and I ain't doing. Like, I'm not doing the same stuff. Oh, not that I was doing before. Ability is the beginning of freedom. Listen, you gotta hold yourself accountable. Listen, right now I got accountability partner. They be checking. Listen, don't ask for an accountability part if you ain't ready for them to be on your head. Because they're gonna be on your head. And my accountability partners be on my head. Rodney, did you do this today? Rodney, did you do that today? Rodney, you said you were gonna do this. Rodney, you said you wanted to do this. So what you doing? But accountability has been free me. Listen, I'm telling you, don't get no accountability partners if you ain't ready. And especially the accountability partners I got. They be, listen, they kind of get on my nerves sometimes, but they helping me. But they helping me. But get that call and text every day. Rightney, did you go to the gym? Rightney, did you eat right? Rightney, did you drink water today? Rightney, did you did you do what you said you was gonna do? You said you was gonna do three episodes. Why you ain't did one episode? Rightney, why you ain't post no wheel? Accountability. And trust me, I need it. I I need it. I thank God for my accountability, partners. Hallelujah. Because I'm accountable to myself. But you know, every once in a while, you wanna you wanna pull back, you wanna get a little lazy. Just a little lazy, just a little lazy. Here's how we break the self-sabotage. We're gonna break this self-sabotage in all of y'all. We're gonna break this self-sabotage, G. Okay. Number one, get honest with yourself. I had to get honest with myself, identify my patterns. I definitely had to identify my patterns. Address the root, not just behavior. You have to address the root and where it comes from. Please address the root because if you don't address the root, it will still be there. Address the root, build discipline over feelings. Ooh, that's a good one. Build discipline over feelings, because listen, feelings, listen. My old pastor used to say feelings don't get you into heaven. Feelings do not get you into heaven. They don't. Feelings don't get you into heaven. So man, listen, build discipline over feelings because you're always gonna feel some type of way. You're always your feelings are never. I'm not saying your feelings are not valid, but you're always gonna feel like not doing something. You're always gonna feel like giving up. You're gonna feel like you it's not working. You're gonna have these feelings when you're when you're building and when you when you think you're supposed to be somewhere that you're not. So you gotta build that discipline so you can stay consistent, so you can stay doing what you're doing. I mean, even with this podcast, look, I gotta stay consistent. I gotta keep posting. I gotta keep, I might not get the results that I'm getting right now, but I'm gonna remain consistent because I'm I'm one day they're gonna come. One day I'm gonna have a million followers. I just believe it. One day I'm gonna have a million followers. Keep following, keep tagging, keep sharing, you know what I'm saying? Because that's what's gonna happen. Change doesn't happen because you feel ready, it happens because you decide differently. Listen, you decide when you decide differently, change. That's when change will happen. If you don't decide differently, as I said earlier, if you don't make the right decisions, you won't make. You know what I'm saying? Change, change happens when you decide differently. Listen, listen, listen, listen. You are not broken beyond repair. You're not broken beyond repair. I don't care what nobody tells you. God, God can fix any and everything. You're not broken behind. You can change your habits, you can change your mindset, you can change your life. But it starts with recognizing I've been in my own way and choosing to move differently. Listen, you gotta move differently. Choose you, choose you, choose you, choose you, choose you, choose you, choose you. Listen, I'm gonna say that one again because I want y'all. To understand what I'm saying, you are not broken beyond repair. You can change your habits, you can change your mindset, you can change your life, but it starts with recognizing I've been in my own way and choosing to move differently. Let's when you recognize it, choosing to move differently, move differently in the season, move differently in the season, move differently in the season. Listen, you don't need another opportunity, you need alignment, you don't need more made of more uh, I'm sorry, you don't need more motivation, you need discipline, you don't need to wait, you need to move because the only thing standing between you and your next level might be you. I don't know you ain't like that, but it's okay. Listen, the only thing that could be standing between you and your next level, you and your destiny, you and your purpose, might be you, G. It might be you, uh, it might be you, it might be you. Oh, it might be you, it might be you, G. Listen, listen. Again, let's stop the self-sabotage, guys. We're not gonna self-sabotage no more in 236 and from here on out. We're gonna walk in purpose, we're gonna walk in alignment, we're gonna catch these patterns, we're gonna build discipline. These are the things we're gonna do because you can do it. You can do it. You can if I can do it, you can do it. Listen, if this helpless episode has helped you, please share it with someone that needs to hear it. Like, subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, all the social media platforms that's out there. I'm on there. Apply. Listen, I thank you for um downloading. I thank you for following. Uh it's been a blessing for each and every one of you guys uh to hear my voice. Because listen, you don't have to listen to me. And I appreciate you listening to me. I appreciate you um hearing my voice, and I thank you again, and I thank you, I thank you, I thank you. And we're gonna keep going. We're gonna keep rocking, baby. We're gonna keep doing this thing one on one. Listen, but this has been the I Can't Help Them podcast. And I'm your host again, your boy Rodney Footman. And I love each and every one of y'all, and y'all be easy.