Embrace Change: Why Your Old Self Must Die for Growth

- Embrace growth by letting go of old versions of yourself  

- Transformation requires leaving behind familiar habits  

- Growth may feel lonely but leads to a stronger you  

- Stop resurrecting past versions; embrace who you're becoming

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Yo, what's good, family? Welcome to another episode of the I Can't Help Them podcast. Listen, I'm your host, I'm your boy Rodney Footman. And listen, today we're gonna be talking about something that hey, you know what I'm saying? A lot of us gotta do. Let's just be honest. Let's be real about it. A lot of us has to do this thing, but it's necessary. It's necessary, it's uncomfortable, but it's necessary. It's uncomfortable. It is definitely uncomfortable, but it's necessary because growth is not just about adding new things. Sometimes growth requires death. Listen, and today's episode is called The Version of You Has to Die. You gotta die. Listen, this version of you, it has to die. Let's talk about it. Because some of the versions uh that you are right now cannot go where God is trying to take you. It can't go. I'm sorry. You might want it to go. This version of you, you might want it to go to the next place, but it can't go to the next place. It's not the version of you that God wants to take you into the next place. So listen, let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. We're gonna we're gonna get into it. Listen, every new level requires an old version to die. Every new level requires the old version to die. Listen, let's talk about it. Here's some truth. You cannot become someone new while remaining committed to the old version of yourself. Listen, you can't become somebody new and you're trying to hold on to the old version of yourself. Listen, family, listen, I understand. I I get it, I get it. Listen, I was in that same place. Listen, hey, I was in my 20s trying to be the version of myself of who I was in high school. Ah, some of y'all don't want to be real about that. Listen, some of y'all was the most popular people, some of the most popular kids in high school. You know, you had all the all the people knew who you were, all the everybody in the city knew who you were. You know what I'm saying? Some of y'all are still living off of that reputation. We ain't in high school no more. We in our 20s, we in our 30s, we in our 40s. Listen, that was back then. That's an old version of you. But who are you right now? Who have you evolved into? Who are you trying to be? Listen, the old mindset, old habits, old insecurities, and the old coping mechanisms. At some point, that version of you has to die. It gotta go, G. It got, it gotta go. I'm I'm sorry. It gotta go. It got to go. If Mudge don't want it to go, it gotta go. It gotta go, G. It gotta go. I'ma say it again. It gotta go. Cause 2 Corinthians 5 and 17 says, if anyone is in Christ, he is what? He has become a new creature. You knew transformation requires separation from your old former self. So whoever you were, that person gotta die. You ain't that person no more. Just look, just just just look how you transform. Just I mean, just let's let's take our growth as people. When you was a baby, you did baby things. You know what I'm saying? When once you start walking, you weren't crawling no more. You know what I'm saying? Once you start talking, you wouldn't gibber and you weren't jibber jabbing no more. So that old version of you crawling has died. Now you walking. That old person of you jibber jabbing was has died. You're talking. So even when you get in your teenage years, the way you think, the way you move is not gonna be the way that you are when you get in your 20s. When you get in when you're in your 20s, you know, a lot of times people say your 20s or your party years, and if you was with me or hanging with me, you definitely was in your partying years because I was in the club all the time. Me and my boys was in the club all the time. Listen, your mindset from 20s to 30s, they shift. You you're not the same person in your 30s that you were in your 20s. And if you are, you ain't died. You ain't died to that old person. Some of y'all need to die now. I ain't gonna lie. It's some people that I know that's still in the club every weekend, and some people that I know that's still partying and living paycheck to paycheck, working. It's still some people because they still got that mindset of when they was in their 20s. Now you ought to be ashamed of yourself, but it is what it is. Some people are stuck in a cycle, but that version of you has to die. It gotta die. You can't you can't bring the new, you can't bring the old version of you into the new version. Listen, some people miss the old you. Oh, listen, listen, we some people miss the old you. Some people loved it. Some people that's the hard part. Because some people love who you were, but they don't love who you become and who you about to become. I I had to distance myself from people like that. Because if you wanna if you wanna keep looking at me as the old person and not the new person, then are we really truly friends? Or are you are you really looking at my growth? Are you really paying attention to me? Or or do you just want me as a benefit to you? Cause let's be honest, and and I'm gonna be real and I'm gonna be transparent. You know, everybody know. Well, uh, some of y'all don't know, some of y'all gonna be hearing this for the first time, or if not, but you know, I was once married before, and I did. I I messed up my marriage in the first part of the marriage. I cheated. Um uh there were some things that led there's no excuse for what I did. Um, there were better ways that I could handle it. There were uh definitely things that I could have done differently. Um that instead of going to another woman's lap, uh, I, you know, there are things I I could have done in my marriage. Um, but I didn't do those things. So I chose to uh go to another woman's lap. And that and and I take full responsibility for it. Again, there's no excuse. But yet, you know, we are in now 2026. That was 2020, that was six years ago. If you follow my drift, that was six years ago. So in that process of these six years, I mean, it didn't take me the whole six years to get healed from all that. Like I got healed within the first year or two, just saying, but you know, I got healed, I went through the process. I'm not that person anymore. Um, I am a brand new person. That is the old version of me. That's the person that I died to, that's the person that was full of insecurities. That was a person that was mute, that was a person that didn't know how to stand up for himself, that was a person that didn't know who he was, that was a person that uh relied on other people uh compliments and pats on the backs to know that he was uh doing what he was supposed to be doing. That was a person that was very insecure in the way they look and the way that they feel. That was that person, that is not the person that I am now here in 2026. But there are people that still look at me as that person in 2020, and it's six years later, so now it's like, yo, do I still hang out with these people or I just let them think what they think and I just keep it moving and do what I got to do? But you know, some people miss the old version of you because the old version of you is a benefit to them, and you know what I'm saying? And I feel like the people that see me as that old version, it was a benefit to them, and now they know that they cannot benefit from me because I'm not that person anymore. Let's sin, let's get into it. But this part is hard because not everyone benefits from your growth, as I just said. Not everyone benefits from your growth. Listen, some people are more comfortable with you in the insecure version of you, some people are more comfortable with the undisciplined version of you, some people are more comfortable with the quiet version of you, and it is easy, and some people are comfortable with the person because you're eating you were easily manipulated. Listen, people are comfortable with you in that because it benefits them, but growth changes relationships, growth changes relationships, and sometimes people resist your elevation because the OU was easier to control. Listen, let's talk about it. People, let's talk about it. Saints, let's talk about it. Some people like to have control over you. Listen, but in this season, listen, hear me clearly. In this season, you cannot shrink to keep people comfortable. We ain't doing that in this season, G. Listen, not here at the I Can't Help Them podcast. We ain't shrinking for nobody to make them feel comfortable. Listen, if my elevation, if my uh evolution of myself is making you uncomfortable by by holla at your peace. You know what I'm saying? It's cool. It's cool, you know what I'm saying? I ain't I ain't tripping. Ain't nobody tripping over here because I'm not gonna shrink myself and I'm not gonna belittle myself and I'm not gonna go below my standards to make you feel comfortable. No, no, no, no, baby. You need to come on up to where I'm at. That's where I'm at. You need to come up to where I'm at. Uh uh, don't uh we not, we not let me make sure my mic's still on so y'all can hear me. Yeah, it's still on. But yeah, come up to where you need to come up where I'm at, baby. We not shrinking. We not we not shrinking. Stop romanticizing who you used to be. Listen, a lot of people say I miss the old me. Listen, I used to say that too. I miss the old me. But then I used to, but then when I really thought about it and you really think about who you used to be, do you really miss that? Listen, the person who used to be, I don't miss nothing about it. And and wouldn't dare go back. Whatn't dare? Will you hear what I say? Went there. Go back. Went and dare. Wait, wait, and there. Go back. You hear me? Waiting there. Go back. You hear me? Listen. But the question is, what was the OU actually healthy? Was the OU actually healthy? Or just familiar? I I think I know. Ask that ask yourself that question. Was the OU healthy or just familiar? Because sometimes we romanticize the dysfunction that we had. Ooh, sometimes we romanticize the toxic coping that we had. Sometimes we romanticize those unhealthy relationships that we had. Sometimes we romanticize those old habits we had because they were simply comfortable. They were simply comfortable, baby. We we they were comfortable. They were comfortable. Listen, some things are meant to stay in the past. Some things are meant to stay in the past. Isaiah 43, 18 says, forget the former things, forget them. Die you gotta die, babe. You gotta die. You gotta die to the old version of yourself. Die. Die. You hear what I say? Die to the old version of yourself. Die to the old version of yourself. Death is listen, death to self is part of discipleship. Death to self is a part of discipleship. Want y'all to listen to me. Christianity is not just inspiration. Ooh, that's good. Let me say, stop. We stopping the podcast right now. Because a lot of people do not understand this concept. Christianity is not just inspiration, yo. It's surrender. Luke 9, let's go to the Bible. Let's go scripture now. Luke 9.23 says, whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves. That's just part of it. I'm gonna start right now. Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves. That's Jesus talking. Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves. You gotta deny yourself. You got and listen, denying yourself, listen. That ain't no easy process, G. It takes time. Listen, what but what that means is you gotta deny that pride. You gotta deny that ego. You gotta deny the comfortability that you done put yourself in. And you gotta deny your flesh. Listen, this thing right there, that thing right there get you every time. It gets you every time. Listen, growth requires sacrifice, and sometimes the hardest thing to uh to surrender is your old identity. That's the hardest. Sometimes it's the hardest thing to surrender, is your old identity. Listen, grieve the old, but don't return to it. Listen, grieve it, but do not you listen to what I'm saying. Grieve it, but do not. You hear what I say? Do not return to it. Don't return to it. Don't return to it. This is important. I want you to disappoint because you may grieve the old versions of yourself because you know what I'm saying? You can grieve the old versions of yourself because even the unhealthy, unhealthy versions of us with familiar. But don't confuse grief with assignment. Don't confuse grief with assignment. Because just because you miss it doesn't mean you should return to it. Ah listen, just because you miss it don't mean you should return to it. Listen, and I don't be honest, because there, you know, let's listen. I take me for instance, like there were some jobs that I really, really like. I don't worked in a whole bunch of fields. You know, I'm just saying. But the job I really liked was my spectrum job. I like working for spectral inbound sales. I love working for spectral inbound sales because I was on the phone talking to different people from all over all the time. And it was just refreshing to sometimes people would tell their stories, sometimes people would just talk to me. And you know what I'm saying? It was good to talk to people, and you know what I'm saying, even though I was trying to sell them a service of the internet, the cable, and the TV, you know what I'm saying? Like, I I enjoyed talking to people. I enjoyed uh uh uh, you know what I'm saying, what I'm trying to say. I enjoyed like just the the different variety of people that I came across every day. But once that job, you know, once I left that job, I had to grieve that job. Uh and I couldn't go back. But I missed it because of uh what it was doing for me. It was providing, you know, making a lot of money. Them commission chess. I'm trying to tell you now. Listen, if you want to run it up quick, go work at Special and Bound sales. Listen, but I missed that job because I miss the people, I missed the money, and I miss talking to people every day. But that doesn't mean I go back into an environment like that when God told me not to go back to that, when that version of me has died. I'm I don't want you in that no more. This is what I want you to do. But I missed it, but I had to grieve it. But there were times where I wanted to go back because I was like, Yeah, I need to run this up real quick, God. Like, what's going on? But no, I had I had grown from that. That was that was just something that he wants me to experience for where I'm getting where I was going. So listen, just because you miss it, don't mean you got to go back to it. Listen, growth often feels lonely before it feels rewarding. Listen, God is building a stronger version of you. Listen, I want to encourage you. I want to encourage you. God is not removing parts of you to destroy you, He's refining you, He's refining you. Listen, this process may feel uncomfortable, but transformation always does. Transformation always feels uncomfortable. Uh, transformation, transition, it always feels uncomfortable. The old version of you may be dying, but the stronger version of you is being built. Listen, the stronger version of you being built, baby, you gonna be new, you gonna be brand new. The people ain't gonna know what to do with you, baby. Them people that had control of you, they ain't gonna know what to do with you, baby. They ain't gonna know what to do with you. What what can they say? What can they do? What can they do? Listen, let me say this clearly. You hear me? Come on, saints. Let me say this clearly. You cannot carry every version of yourself into the future. Huh? Unto the future. Unto the future. Listen, you cannot carry every version of yourself into the future. Some habits must die, some mindsets must die, some attachments must die because who you are becoming requires separation from who you used to be. Listen, stop fighting the process, stop fighting it. Just go with it. Stop fighting it, please. Stop fighting it, just go with it, and stop resurrecting versions of yourself God is trying to heal you from. Listen, stop resurrecting versions of yourself God is trying to heal you from. Listen, God don't want you to pick that person back up. He wants you to die from that person. That's why He's killing these things in you so you become the best version of yourself that He wants you to become. Stop picking up old versions, stop going to old places, stop doing, stop talking to old people. You don't need to be doing that no more. Don't do that. Don't do that. Listen, stop resurrecting versions of yourself when God is trying to heal you. Listen, if you like this here, if you like this episode, listen, hit that share button, baby. Hit that share button. Listen, subscribe on Apple Podcasts, subscribe on Spotify, subscribe on YouTube, you know what I'm saying? Subscribe on the other channels. It's it's a whole bunch I'm on. I don't even be knowing. I know them like the three main ones everybody know. Uh, but this has been the I Can't Help Them Podcast, where transparency meets truth. And I'm your host, your boy Rodney Footman. Uh be back for another episode in the next week or the next coming weeks, baby. Your boy is here. But again, I thank each and every one of y'all for your support. I thank you for each and every one of y'all for sharing, liking, tagging. Whatever you do, you just listen, you download. I appreciate you so much. Uh, can't wait for the next episode. Peace. Love y'all.