You Can’t Heal in the Same Environment

Transcript

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Yo, what's up, family? Welcome to another episode of the I Can't Help Film Podcast. I am your host. I'm your boy, Rodney Footman. We back in the building with another one, guys. And this one right here, listen, this is one that, you know, is gonna help you. It's gonna help you. It's gonna you know, we we're talking about something today that people overlook a lot, but you know, we're not gonna overlook it today. How about that? We're not gonna overlook it today. So today we're talking about you can't heal in the same environment. You can't heal in the same environment. And listen, before I start, listen, this is what I want y'all to do. I want y'all to like, tag, and share. Listen, so hit that subscribe button, you know, hit it. Boom, hit that subscribe, Apple Podcast, you know what I'm saying? YouTube, Spotify, Amazon, iHeartRadio, all of them. Bam! I don't think iHeart Radio out there no more. I'm sorry, I I go, it's on my platform. But listen, you can't heal in the same environment. It's because, look, because sometimes the reason we're struggling to grow is because you're still surrounding yourself by things that keep reopening the wounds that you're trying to heal from and that you're trying to close up. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it, babe. Let's talk about it. Shape people. Listen, if you don't know, environment shape people, whether you realize it or not, your environment affects you. Listen, the conversations that are around you, the energy that is around you, the habits that are around you, and the mindset that are around you become influenced by what constantly surrounds you. Yes, you become influenced by what constantly surrounds you. You don't know that. Try going into a different environment and see. Listen, you know, 1 Corinthians chapter 15, verse 33 says, bad company corrupts good character. Listen, environment is deeper than the location. It is what consistently, consistently has access to your spirit. Listen, what consistently has, listen, and I'm telling you, if you change your environment, you'll change. I'm listening I am trying to tell you what I know. Think about even a transition in a job. You go from one bad job, the environment that was in the job, to another bad environment. You you got one job that you hate going to. Then when you get a new job and the environment is good, the people is good, everything, you love going to that job because the environment is good. Let's even go farther. Let's say church, you was at one church where you know the people, the environment was bad, it wasn't godly, it wasn't of God. And you go to a church and you're experiencing the glory of God, and you're experiencing his power, his anointing, and his blessings, and all the above, listen, the environment changes you. The people that you hang around, the environment changes you. If you're dealing with people with poor mindsets, with a poverty mindset that's always nickel in a diamond, that's always trying to rob people to PayPal, and that's the environment that you stay around. That's what you're gonna be. But if you get around some people, some entrepreneurs that live by kingdom principle, pay their tithes, they they love the Lord, they doing the things that they doing in their business, they uh progressing in their business and all that type of stuff. That plays a part in you. And for me, I don't want to be around those people because your boy got some businesses that finna get ready to open up. And I I I that's why I love my church. Unity International Charlotte, or is it Unity Charlotte International? Lord, forgive me if I said it wrong. But I love my church because it's full with entrepreneurs, it's full of people that has a progressive mindset, it's full of people that uh that uh do their business with integrity, it's full of people that don't mind giving, that don't mind sewing because they know that the blessings of the Lord are gonna come upon them whether they do it or not. Like they have the mindset, they have the principle down, they have the principle of reciprocity down. So, Pat, and I love my pastor because she's consistent in every and you want to be around consistent people. You don't want to be around people that's doing something one day, then the next day they're not doing it. My pastor is consistent. We just celebrated her for 10 years of car chronicles, eight years of unity. Do you know what it takes to get inside of a car every day for 10 years and talk to people online every day? Now that's some consistency. I ain't got that yet. I ain't got that yet, but 10 years, G, 10, 7 o'clock in the morning. I think it's 7:30. Lord forgive me. It's either 7 o'clock or 7:30. She gets in that car every day. She goes live. Every day. Every day. Almost every day. I think she missed the weekend, but most of the time, every day. Because this is it. That's the type of people you want to be around. People that's doing stuff. That's the that's the type of environment you want to be around. Listen, some environments keep you in survival mode. Some people can't heal. Some people can't heal because they never feel safe enough to heal. Now, if you're in an environment where you don't feel safe enough to heal, that's a problem, G. That is a problem. If you're constantly stressed, if you're constantly triggered, if you're constantly drained, if you're constantly emotional overwhelmed, and survival mode makes healing difficult. Listen, because when you're in survival mode, listen, I I know firsthand about survival mode, because survival mode, you make decisions off of surviving. Like you don't really um make clear decisions, you make decisions based off what you feel you need at that moment and at that time. So it's really not a good decision or a decision that God has um ordained or directed you to make, but you're making it off of the sole base of what you need because you're in survival mode. And when you're in survival mode, bruh, whatever is good for you or you feel like it's good, that's what you're going with. I'm just being honest. That's what you're going with. Because survival mode is, and I think I need to do a podcast about survival mode, a podcast episode about survival mode. Because survival mode will make you be making decisions that you're gonna regret later. Listen, I'm trying to tell you what I know. And I've been there. Survival mode will have you make decisions that you're gonna regret later, but because you're in survival mode, you're gonna do what it takes. Either it's wearing tear on your body, wear and tear on your mind, wear and tear on your relationships. Like, it don't matter because you're in survival mode. And when you're in survival mode, you just you try to do whatever you can. You know, peace feels unfamiliar when you're in survival mode. Some environments normalize dysfunction so much that healthy feels boring. Have you ever known somebody that was in a toxic relationship and they actually like to be in a toxic relationship? They like to keep something going on, they like to keep drama going on in their relationship because they say being with someone that doesn't do nothing, that doesn't go out, that doesn't cheat on them, that doesn't treat them wrong is boring. But it's healthy, but it's boring to them because they feel like ain't no excitement. But that's what you call normalizing dysfunction. Because who in their right mind wants to deal with someone that's always constantly dysfunctional? Who wants to be in an environment that's dysfunctional? Who wanna do that? Uh let me know. Maybe I'm wrong. I might be wrong, y'all. But I I know I don't want to, I wouldn't want to deal with that. You know what I'm saying? I wouldn't want to deal with that dysfunction. Because that's that's crazy. Listen, I've been in I've been in a dysfunctional relationship where it was always something going on. I've been in dysfunctional environments where I've kept myself in the way too long that I should have. But yet, I continue, continue, that's not a word, but I continue to stay in that environment, and it's not good. It's not good. And when I finally got delivered and finally had that peace, listen, I don't know about y'all, but when I get peace, I ain't letting it go. Peace is different. Listen, you keep reopening what God is trying to heal. You keep reopening what God is trying to heal. This is hard because many people are praying for healing while constantly revisiting the trigger. Oh, you still checking the page. Ooh, you still entertaining the conversation, you're still surrounding yourself with people who join you. And you're still returning the toxic patterns. Let's be honest. You're trying to heal, but you ain't changing nothing. What sense does that make? Let me make sure my mic, oh, the mic's still on. I be forgetting. You still checking them pages after they did what they did to you? You still entertain that conversation after they did what they did with you. You still allow people to drain you when you know you pick up that phone, they're gonna drain you. You still returning to those toxic patterns that got you in bondage in the first place. And now that you have been free, you still want to go back to those toxic patterns, but you praying for healing. Make it make sense. I'm just make it make sense. Because what we doing? What we doing, G? What we doing? Healing requires boundaries, not just prayers. Put some boundaries in place. Don't let people dream you, uh um, baby. Me, you know a boundary I put in place. I blocked from everything. You you blocked on social media, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, LinkedIn, threads. You're blocked from everything. You hear what I tell you? You're blocked from everything. And your number blocked them off. You can't text, you can't call, you can't do that. Because I don't want to return back to that. And then definitely until I'm very, until I'm seriously healed to where I can face it again. That's the boundary I got to put in place. That's for me. And that goes for friendship, relationship, anything like that. Boundary has to be put in place because I'm not gonna allow you to continue to do what you have done to me in the past. No, we're not doing that. We doing it. We're not doing it, we not doing it, we we not doing it. Listen, everybody can't have access to the new you. You know, the last episode we were talking about a version of you has to die. So now that that version of you has died, everybody can't have access to the new you. Growth changes access, and this is where people struggle. Listen, I struggle with this myself because I wanted to take everybody with me, but I understand everybody can't go with me. They might they might think they want to go, but everybody can't go with me, G. Everybody can't go, everybody can't go. I want them to go. Trust me, my heart's desire is for everybody to go, but I understand that I can't pull them up or I can't carry them. That's God's job to do, not my job. I don't care how much you try to put ideas into them, I don't care how much you try to give them advice, I don't care how much you pour, if they ain't going, they ain't going. Because once you start healing, listen, your tolerance is gonna change, your boundaries is gonna change, your conversation is gonna change, and your standards are gonna change. When you start healing, all that's gonna change, bro, because you ain't gonna be going for that foolishness that you was going for before. Like you're gonna get on the phone with a person and they're gonna start talking that same official, uh, nah. We ain't talk about that. Or you text me such and such, so you try to come at me with some gossip. Listen, that ain't got nothing to do with me, G. Keep that over there. Well, I'm not, no. Or when you call trying to drain me, oh, okay, go talk to God. Yeah, God got you. 100%. I love to say that. God got you. Man, I'm just going through this and I'm going through that and I'm God got you, G. God got you. Listen, I you need to be talking to him and pouring out to him, not to me. Talk to him because he knows you better than I do. He knows your situation better than I know your situation. And he has the ultimate plan and the answer for you. So don't talk to me, talk to him. And some people will not understand that. Some people won't understand the new version of you, some people won't understand your boundaries, but everybody cannot have unlimited access to your growth season. Listen, protect your pieces, not pride. It's wisdom, it's not pride. Because there are gonna be some people that's gonna be like, hey, you acted different. You prideful now, man. Why you I used to be able to talk to you, I can't talk to you no more. I used to be able to do this, I can't do that no more. No, no, no, no, baby, I'm in my growing season. You can't have access to me in my growing season because if you have access to me in my growing season, this is the environment I'm in. I'm in a new season, I'm in a new place. I'm trying to get a better environment going on, baby. And I don't know what you got going on because if you're not on the same page that I'm on, then baby, we gotta we gotta separate. We gotta split ways a little bit. You know what I'm saying? I'm just being honest, y'all, y'all tell me if I'm wrong. Does anybody got time when you really make up in your mind that you want to grow and that you are done with the foolishness and you put them boundaries up and people try to come for your boundaries? Well, baby, if you're trying to come for my boundaries, then baby, you don't even need to be around me because this is where I'm going. And if you can't, if you can't handle me in the growth season, when I actually get to the place that I'm gonna be, you definitely ain't gonna be able to handle me then. Listen, so no, G, we gots to go. We gots to go. Look, healing requires new conditions. Think about a plant. Let's think about a plant for a second. If the environment is unhealthy, the growth becomes difficult. If the environment is unhealthy, the growth becomes difficult. It's the same with spiritual and emotional. Listen, you need healthy conversations, you need accountability, you need peace, you need structure, you need discipline, you need God-centered environments. This is what you need. You think you think you're gonna be able to grow and heal when you still when you still having those bad conversations, when you ain't got nobody holding you accountable, when you still in dysfunction, when you ain't got no structure to your life, when you ain't got no discipline to your life, and when you ain't even being in God centered environments. Come on, G. You you think you think once you make up your mind, you can still go around those same environments that you used to go to. It ain't gonna happen. It's either two things gonna happen. Either you gonna get fed up and leave, or you gon' go back and stay in a dysfunctional environment and not grow. That's the only two things that's gonna happen, G. Ain't no in-between. Ain't no, ain't no in between. It's all it's only one way. One, one, one, one way to go. That apostolic came out quick. Is that one, one, one, one way to God? Oh, one, one, one, oh, one way to God. Baptize in Jesus. Just saying. I I just had to sing a little bit because yeah, you get you get that. I felt them. Y'all better quit playing with me. But look, Jesus often, Jesus often, yeah, I'm sorry, Jesus often withdrew himself. Even Jesus stepped away for a time period in the season. Why? Because separation is sometimes necessary for restoration. Sometimes you are afraid to disconnect because you think distance means rejection. No, it doesn't. Distance does not mean rejection. Listen, but sometimes distance is protection. And sometimes isolation for a season is preparation for your next season. Listen, ain't nothing wrong with being isolated for a season. It's nothing wrong with that, yo. It's nothing wrong with it. Because gee, you might need it because you don't know what's coming in the next season. You don't know what to prepare for. And then that in that separation and in that ISO season, God is preparing you for what's to come because you don't know. We don't never know what's to come. But we do know something's gonna come and gonna try to test us, try to test our faith, try to test who we are, try to test if we believe how we say we believe. Listen, and you got to be built up in prayer, and you got to know that you know that you know that God fight for you. He fight for you, he fight for you. Listen, let me say this clearly: you cannot heal while constantly consuming what hurts you. You cannot grow while you're surrounded what keeps pulling you backwards. Listen, you cannot become new while remaining fully connected to old dysfunction. Some environments must change, some access must be removed, and some conversations must end because healing requires healthy conditions. Listen, if you want to be healed, if you want to be whole, you gotta be in those healthy environments. You gotta be in those environments that's going to to to to to change and shape and form you into what God wants you to be. You cannot stay in your dysfunctional places that you used to go. It's not possible. It's not possible. I'm just, it's it's it just is what it is. I mean, don't get me wrong, listen, God had to move me from a whole from one state to a whole nother state. He had to move me from a small city to big city. I come from I come from Anderson, South Carolina. Love my hometown. I do. I come from Anderson, South Carolina. I went from Anderson, South Carolina to Spongebob, South Carolina, which really ain't no better. It's the same thing. And then from Sponbird, South Carolina, I'm now I'm currently in Charlotte. If you check out them three cities, totally different. Totally different. Charlotte is the big city, but I needed, I had a small city mentality. I had a small city mentality because let's be real, Anderson and Spongebob, they are both small cities. They're not, I mean, gigantic. Granted, we we got some stuff, but they're not gigantic, and you can be trapped in a small, a small city mindset because you don't go nowhere or you are afraid. And at that particular time, I was afraid to move to a big city because I didn't think I could be able to handle it. I didn't think I could be able to handle the fast pace. I now I've I've always been fascinated with big cities and always wanted to live in a big city, but I would never make the jump. And so God changed my environment. He listened I'm being honest, it was him that did it. Because I had no plan and no action to move to Charlotte. I was gonna move to Greenville. But no, God saw fit to move me to Charlotte because there were things here in Charlotte that I needed to see. There are things here in Charlotte that I need to experience. There are people that I needed to encounter. There were environments that is curating and helping me to grow into the man that God wants me to be, even in business, spiritually, emotionally, physically, like everything is changing about me or has changed and is continuing to change. I came to a new city and a new environment. Now, I'm not saying that's for everybody, but for me personally, I needed to move to a new city. I needed to see the things that I have seen here in Charlotte. And I'm gonna be honest, I don't want to go nowhere. Love Charlotte. I don't I don't want to go nowhere. I won't be here. I wanna be here for life. I don't want to go nowhere, and I hope the Lord keep me here, because I don't want to go nowhere, and I hope the Lord keep me here. But you know, we're going with his plan, whatever he says, whatever he wants to do, but that's what we're going with. But listen, again, if this podcast has episode has helped you in any type of way, please share it again. Subscribe as I told y'all at the beginning. Subscribe, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, the YouTube channel. Listen, I want to thank each and every one of y'all again for y'all's support and how y'all uh uh how y'all are embracing me and listening to my voice on a regular basis. Listen, because you don't have to, and I do not take it for granted. And I just want to say I thank each and every one of y'all. I love y'all again. This has been another episode of the I Can't Help Them podcast. And y'all, I'm your boy, your host, Rodney Footman, and I ain't going nowhere, and I'm gonna be back every time. Y'all have a good one. Peace.