Nobody Claps for Private Growth: Celebrating Silent Victories in Life's Journey

Explore the power of private growth, where silent battles lead to personal victories. Celebrate the unseen journey and embrace your transformation.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

What's up, family? Welcome to another episode of the I Can't Help Them podcast. Listen, I'm your host. I'm your host, Rodney Footman, your boy. I'm here back in backhand flesh. We're here with another episode. Listen, and by popular demand, because y'all have requested and y'all have asked for Let's the Comeback for another episode. And I'm telling y'all right now, she's not gonna be here every episode. So if y'all can start with this foolishness, y'all know y'all love me first.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Hi everybody. Thanks for having me back.

SPEAKER_03 0:42

Yeah, Let's Michelle back in the building. Uh, we had a very good conversation last week. What was we talking about again last week?

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Not what was we talking about.

SPEAKER_03 0:55

Yeah, because I never forgot. I do so many episodes.

SPEAKER_02 0:59

That's crazy. We were talking about what are we talking about? We talked about so much.

SPEAKER_03 1:05

You see, you don't even remember what we talked about. So don't come for me.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

We talked about so much, but we talked about um like changing your mindset and showing up as you know the person that you want to be and not feeding like bad and old habits.

SPEAKER_03 1:24

Yeah, we talked about oh, what you consume. Yes, what you consume is what you become. That's what we talked about. We sorry, y'all.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

So much be happening.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

So much be happening, you know what I'm saying? But today, today we're gonna be talking about something about a type of growth that is rarely people really, you know, celebrate. They don't celebrate, you know, not the visible kind, not the kind that people repose, not the kind that people clap for for public, but private growth.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

Private growth.

SPEAKER_03 2:00

Private growth. So today's episode is gonna be called Nobody Claps for Private Growth. Nobody, you don't get them hand claps. Because some of your biggest battles and biggest victories happens when nobody sees them.

SPEAKER_02 2:18

Let's talk about it.

SPEAKER_03 2:20

Ain't that the truth though?

SPEAKER_02 2:22

It is, it is, because a lot of the time people measure success and growth by what they can see other people doing.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

Very true. So a lot of people recognize the visible success. You always see people recognize the visible success, like when the business launch, people lose the weight, your platform blow up, you know, you get big money, you know what I'm saying? Your relationship flowing. Listen, now I ain't gonna lie, your relationship is one thing you should keep private. Don't let nobody in on your relationship.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

Should be private, but not a secret.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

A private secret. That's what I say. Don't let nobody know. Because these jokes out here. Nah, you gotta know that they exist.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

They don't gotta know who it is. They just need to know that it's somebody.

SPEAKER_03 3:11

Because these people don't want to see nobody together. They be quick. If I say right now I'm in a relationship, I promise you, niggas gonna have everything to say. Well, you know Rodney was married, you know Rodney did this in his marriage, and you know Rodney was with such and such before, you know, Rodney. That's what they do.

SPEAKER_02 3:30

I mean, that's people for you, but you know, you can't allow people to dictate what you got going on in life. Everybody deserves to be happy.

SPEAKER_03 3:40

Anyways, they're gonna be happy, but it's gonna be private. And the secret. You hear what I say.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

But everything cannot be photographed. A lot of the things that people don't see are the thoughts that you don't entertain, the habits that you stop, the nights where you want to throw in the towel, but you still said yes. And that's a really, really big one for a lot of us. Um, the discipline that you build and the healing that you choose and continue to choose.

SPEAKER_03 4:15

I ain't got nothing to say on that one because the one the one that hit me is you know, the nights that you cry.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

Oh, that's a big one.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

But you kept going. Not many times I don't cry.

SPEAKER_02 4:29

Sliding down the wall. Sliding down the wall. Because who, because who told me to have the audacity to say yes to this? Had had I been given extra details and information, I probably wouldn't have said yeah. I probably would have, you know what, actually, let's make a different decision. But um it's all about the journey, it's all a part of the process. I think a big one for me is the habits that you stop feeding, the things that you you stop, um, because a lot of the time, as we talked about last time, is you know, those habits. Habits shape who you are, and if you continue to function in how you are and not the place that you desire to be, how can you grow?

SPEAKER_03 5:18

I had to start entertaining my thoughts because this brain of mine, listen, it goes haywire. And I am what you call an overthinker in some situations, not all, just a little bit. I overthink some situations, but you'll never know I'm overthinking. I ain't the type of person that lets you know I'm overthinking, but a lot of times I'll be overthinking, I'd be like, okay, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I done came up with a whole scenario in my head of what could happen. Because if I'm used to something, and we all can attest. Let's say relationships, for instance, because there'd be a lot of stuff on these reels and all that type of stuff when it comes to people saying, like, if we talking, if we locked in and I don't hear from you in the day a couple of hours, we get canceled.

SPEAKER_00 6:11

Cancel!

SPEAKER_03 6:12

Me, I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt because I've overthought, oh, this had had to happen for you not to talk to me. Period. Point blank.

SPEAKER_02 6:22

If you go 24 hours without talking to me, don't even call back. Just hang it up flat screen.

SPEAKER_03 6:27

See, a lot of my friends are like that. I don't understand that. I do, but I don't.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

Because there are 24 hours in a day. You can't call me or text me for 30 seconds. 30. I didn't cross your mind not one time.

SPEAKER_03 6:42

But anyway, we're not here to talk about relationships.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

We're not, we're not. You're not defending, I'm just defending the gospel that I believe in when it comes to relationships. That ain't gospel when it comes to relationships.

SPEAKER_03 6:54

That's not gospel. Because listen, and because nobody sees it, like since nobody sees your private growth, sometimes you might start the question if it even matters. Does your growth even matter because don't nobody see it? But private growth still counts. You know, some of your hardest battles are invisible. Some people fight battles nobody knows about.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

Like people be fighting depression, people be fighting to not go back into cycle, to keep pushing forward despite what their right now looks like. Um, exhaustion and being faithful to the things that they say yes to despite how they feel, like how you show up after you've committed to something, that plays a really big part in in who you are as a person and your character and your integrity. And and that takes growth because everybody's not wired like that. Um then just just making sure you're you know you're mentally you're mentally healthy and that you you check in with yourself mentally, because that's a battle in itself, because uh idle mind is the devil's playground. Like that's what the old people used to say.

SPEAKER_03 8:13

Oh god.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

Like, if you just let your thoughts be your thoughts, all types of seeds can get planted, and in a matter of minutes and seconds, it can undo all of the private growth that you have done, all because you did not check in with yourself about what is true and what is not.

SPEAKER_03 8:36

100%. You know, and and try not to quit, you know, all these things that you're trying to do that the people don't see. People don't see the internal things that you grow through when you're trying to grow and you're trying to become a better person. They just see the external behavior, but they don't know what's going on internally. It's a lot of people walking around here fighting a whole bunch of battles internally because they're trying, excuse me, they're trying to grow and they're trying to become a better person, but you don't know what it takes for that person to become a better person. You know what I'm saying? You you you don't see the internal war that it took for them to still stand.

SPEAKER_02 9:25

You know, I always got scripture. 2 Corinthians 4 and 8. We are pressed on every side, but we are not crushed. Some people are caught between a hard place and a rock. And it's looking like it's giving very ghetto, it's giving very much, I didn't sign up for this, but at the end of the day, you're overcomer, you're more than a conqueror. And if you stay consistent with those habits, with those new behaviors, with renewing your mind, then you know, you're you're always gonna come out on the other side better. And um, surviving battles silently is definitely something to be applauded. So even if nobody else is clapping for you, clap for yourself.

SPEAKER_03 10:18

Well, you know, you you just gotta, you really gotta take the time because me personally, you know, I'm still I I feel like it doesn't matter where you are in life, you're growing from something. You're learning from something and you're growing for it because none of us will never be perfect. It's not possible. The only perfect person that worked this earth is Jesus Christ Himself, and none of us are him. We're striving to be like him every day. So there are always things that we're gonna have to grow from, but and those things that we have grown from, as Les was saying, we still gotta keep those habits in place. We still, because even when it comes to deliverance and all these types of things, we are growing from something. We're growing from a behavior we once had, we're growing from a trauma that we once felt, we're growing from a relationship that was a bad relationship, whether it was our fault or their fault. We're growing from all different types of things because we all have experienced different types of trauma, different types of uh relationships. We all have grown, we all are growing from those things, and it's hard.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

And a lot of the time we don't realize that some progress is better than no progress, and you have to celebrate the small wins because it's that it's those compound things that allow the bigger picture to come together, it's the details of the thing, of the story that allows the bigger picture to come together. Like nobody just wakes up an overnight success. There's tears, there's prayers, there's groundwork that is done before anybody ever knows your name, before anybody ever sees your products, before anybody ever hears your story. There, there has to be something done before that. You have to put in the work before. And you, it's up to you to cultivate a community of people who you're comfortable sharing those small wins with who will celebrate with you and for you because they have your best interest at heart, because they ultimately want the best for you. Um, because you can't really share that with everybody. But even if you don't have that type of community cultivated, celebrate yourself. You have to celebrate those small wins because they go a long way. Even if it's just like you got out of bed and you made your bed. That's a small win. That's a small win.

SPEAKER_03 13:04

That's a small win.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

It is because if you're a person who suffers from from depression, sometimes, sometimes, like, you know, just getting up, getting out of the bed, and taking a shower and moving to the living room, that's a win. You got out of bed. So it's just just little things like that.

SPEAKER_03 13:24

I ain't never been there before. I ain't never been that depressed.

SPEAKER_02 13:27

I mean, it happens.

SPEAKER_03 13:28

I'm not I'm not saying you know, I'm not saying it don't happen, but I ain't never been there. I mean I'ma get up. And the least I'ma do is get up and move. I might not want to be around people or anything like that. Yes, me not wanting to be around people is very rare because I love people. You know, I am a people's person. But I mean, even I can say even like with this podcast is growing me because you know, the consistency of putting out an episode every week and really not knowing who's gonna hear it, who's not gonna hear it. Some episodes do better than other episodes, some reels hit better than other reels. Sometimes I might get 10 views, sometimes I might get a thousand views. And you know, that could play if you don't really, you know what I'm saying? If you don't really want to grow, but I understand and I understand now. I didn't understand because I have done previous podcasts before. Uh the first podcast I came up with was Beyond the Surface. Listen, I think I only I only think I made it five episodes because I thought so many people was gonna listen to me, and I was like, bro, what was I thinking? And and then plus it was an audio podcast, so it wasn't even really it. I probably did like two episodes on that. It was oh my gosh, looking back on it. You can laugh if you want to. Go ahead. You wouldn't laugh. She tried to cover push five, but then the next one was all faith, no fear. Oh, I knew I was gonna take off with that one. That one was listen, I had some views on that one. Then I got my bro, I got my brother Matt to get on to that podcast too. I we thought we was going to the moon and back. We had a plan not to be working after six months of the podcast. We thought it was gonna blow up. And I'm like, wait a minute, six months is only like 25 weeks. I don't know too many people that done blew up off a podcast off of 25 weeks if you're not already a superstar. I'm not saying what the Lord can't do, but it has to be some work put in. So that came to a stop. So I'm like, bro, I'm not doing this again. I don't want to do this again. And then the Lord brought it back to me.

SPEAKER_04 15:46

Here you are.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

So here I am with it with the I Can't Help Them podcast, but this one is not gonna stop. We're gonna keep going, we're gonna keep growing. But that's just a part of the growth, like going from beyond the surface to now, like I have grown to know what I could do with podcasts, how podcasts can make me some money, how to put out episodes, how to create reels, how to promote. Well, I'm still struggling with the promotion process, but it's cool. It's gonna happen one way or another. Um, but this would goes into like the next thing we're uh gonna be talking about. Like social media makes private growth feel small. Like for me, like when I first, I'm not gonna lie, when I first started this podcast, I look for likes, I look for views, I look for applause. I ain't never looked for a validation because I don't I'm beyond this. I don't really care what y'all got to say or what y'all don't got to say when you come to me. I done been through too much to turn back now. I've come, I've come to turn, turn around, but I go back to the window. I think that was the Williams, bro. No, that was Lee Williams in the spiritual QC, baby. Which I know about that. My grandma had me listening to the Lee Williams and spiritual QC every day. But I never looked for validation. Now I did look for likes, I did look for views, applause. Um, just because I I wanted this podcast to be a success, but I shouldn't, I shouldn't have measured my success off of the views and the likes and the applause of other people.

SPEAKER_02 17:29

So what are some things that you can measure growth by?

SPEAKER_03 17:35

For me, we are you saying pertaining to the podcast or pertaining to me personally?

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Like, like how do you measure your we're talking about your podcast, so how do you measure your podcast growth personally? And then how um So I want y'all to know, right?

SPEAKER_03 17:51

This is my podcast. And I suppose it's the interviewing her, not her asking me questions.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

I mean, I don't have a podcast.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

I don't I don't really do things um I don't I don't really do things where you know social media impacts my life.

SPEAKER_04 18:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

Um I don't really like liked views and applause. They don't really do anything for me. Um, because I don't post anything.

SPEAKER_03 18:16

Again, so you don't post anything.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

I don't post anything.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

So uh but for me now um growth, growth to me just looks like consistency. As long as I'm putting out an episode every week, which from now on I want y'all to hear this. You're gonna get a new episode every Tuesday at 12 p.m.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

And hold him accountable.

SPEAKER_03 18:39

It's gonna drop lunchtime, 12 p.m. every Tuesday. I can't promise you a real every day, but I'm gonna try to get you a real every day. Uh I'm gonna try to have more guests like uh Let's Michelle over here. Um don't y'all ask her to come back for another episode. I'll just let you know now. But uh but the just the consistency love me.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

They love me.

SPEAKER_03 19:02

But just the consistency. Um, consistency for me, because I know that whether um I get one view or hundreds of thousands of views, my voice has reached somebody. And I feel like if my voice has reached somebody that and I was able to say something to change their life or change their mindset, that's that's all that matters to me. So uh again, I'm I'm happy with any view that I get just because for the simple fact, like nobody has to look at me. Nobody has to, then when I see the numbers for downloads, nobody has to download my podcast. So if I get one download, I'd be happy. I'd be jumping for joy. I shall. I ain't gonna lie, because nobody has to listen to me. And I do believe one day that this podcast is gonna take off. And all I gotta do is just remain consistency. So when it does take off, you could go back and look at the track record to see, oh, okay, I've been doing this. This ain't something that just happened. And ain't no fly by night. He got videos for days, he got content for days. This is the work he's been putting in. Then they can see how far the podcast has come when it comes to growth. Like, okay, he was doing this now, he it done came this way, and all this, and then you said growth for myself. So growth for myself looks like uh growth for myself is getting these muscles. Cause your boy been in the gym. I've been in the gym. Uh, you know, so if y'all don't know, I have uh the doctor say I got type 2 diabetes. I don't claim it. But um just seeing those A1C numbers come down a little bit because it was I ain't gonna tell y'all ha ha, y'all might cuss me out. But it's pretty see y'all she was looking at me just now. So it's pretty high, but they they done came down and they coming down some more. We bless God. But just that and just I say giving myself a measure from like uh I say like from the beginning of this year to now, I have grown. So now like we about to come up on the second part of this year. So what that's gonna, what growth for that looks like. So I try to have a plan in place to put these things in place, like this is what I want to do, this is what I want to see in myself, and this is every area of my life when it comes to finances, personal, business, all that type of stuff. Putting these things in place. Um, I've already been, you know, I ain't gonna say chewed out, but I've kind of let Michelle over there done kind of got on my case when it comes to certain things that I should be doing. Cause she told me I was sitting on money, y'all.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

I'm just saying, you as a creative person, we tend to start things. And we have ideas, but we don't always execute them in a timely manner. And we be looking for God to provide for us when He's already given us a He's already given us provision in the vision. And we just hold on to it.

SPEAKER_03 22:20

You just said something right there. He gives us provision in the vision. Listen.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

Because He's never going to, God is never going to give you vision and not give you provision for it. He's never going to have you out here looking goofy. He's never gonna have you in a position to tell you to do something and not give you a way to do it. Like I always tell people, one of my favorite stories, like one of my favorite people in the Bible is Abraham. He told Abraham to leave his home and go to a place that he will show him. He didn't tell him where that place was, he didn't tell him all the things that he would have to go through to get to that place, but he said, I will, I will show you. And if a lot of us had that type of faith to believe God when he says, I will provide for you. Our journeys would be a lot more simpler, and it would be easier to um those those silent things that you know check in about. Like we be looking for applause from the wrong people. Like if God is for you, it doesn't matter who's cheering you on, it doesn't matter who's saying amen in your corner. Like if God says I got you and I'm for you, then that's what he means. And so, like, you know, those that that growth really looks like, like, as Ronnie was saying, it looks like staying consistent, you know, those private yeses, those private no's, choosing peace over distraction, just being disciplined in the things that you said yes to.

SPEAKER_03 24:15

So, so since you gonna ask me, yo, what this in your personal life, because you know we have talked off camera about some things that you should be doing.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

Don't be full of my business out here.

SPEAKER_03 24:29

And by August, y'all gonna see it. I'm putting it out here on this podcast. So y'all can y'all can hold her accountable too. It don't matter. It's my podcast, and we're gonna hold you accountable. So by August, y'all gonna see some things from Lex Michelle. So, what does in your life right now, what does growth look like for you? Because you know you got you got a lot of things going on, and plus, you know, you're a mother, your single mother, and all that type of stuff. So I know that plays a part that might, I ain't gonna say it'll stunt your growth a little bit, but it could kind of slow it down.

SPEAKER_02 25:11

Um, I think growth always looks like consistency because you can't grow anything that you're not consistent with. That's the first thing. I think just always checking in with myself mentally, um, and creating realistic timelines for things to be done. First and foremost, praying about everything. That's that's that's more than anything, like more than anything that you could ever think to put your hands to, pray about it. Um, what else does growth look like? Growth looks like it looks like so many things. It looks like it looks like being okay with letting the version of what you thought go in order to become the version of yourself that is now.

SPEAKER_03 26:08

So what we what we're not gonna do is throw it off on the people. I said, what does growth for you personally? Let the people know who you are.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

But I mean, that's what it looks like for me. Like life transition happens, and sometimes we have idea version that we should be by now. And sometimes growth looks like having to let that version of yourself go to step into the role that you're actually supposed to be operating in.

SPEAKER_03 26:39

Okay. So basically, you saying that was a version of yourself that you thought that you should be at right now, and you're not that version, you're something else. Because listen, she's trying to put it off on y'all. We're not gonna allow her to do that. We're gonna put it on her.

SPEAKER_01 26:56

We're not talking about me.

SPEAKER_03 26:57

We is, because I asked you a question. I say, what does growth look like in your life?

SPEAKER_02 27:03

And then, you know, uh, a big part of growth for me is, you know, just always remaining mindful of the small ones, because that's how, again, like I said earlier, you build on growth. Because a lot of the times the big picture can be overwhelming. And when you have a goal set, that can be overwhelming, especially if you've had to start over, if you've um started something and haven't completed it, it and just just starting over and trying again. Um, I read a quote somewhere that you can you can recreate yourself as many times as you want. And that's true, but that doesn't always necessarily mean that you've grown. That just means that you've changed the direction that you want to grow in um or go in. And a lot of people miss the piece that growth, true growth has to happen and has to stick in order for you to meet your full potential.

SPEAKER_03 28:12

Very true.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

So, yeah, stop trying to mind my business though.

SPEAKER_03 28:16

I have to pull it out over y'all because she she she very churchy and good of putting it off on making it broad. We not, this is not what this podcast is about.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

We're not minding my business.

SPEAKER_03 28:30

We talk about our business on this podcast. So again, if y'all want her to come back, y'all better tell her we minding her business. We minding her business. Listen, it's hard when nobody understands your process. And listen, to be honest, your process is not for people to understand. It's not for people to understand, it's your process. I mean, the only thing you can really do is get a little bit of guidance, a little bit of counseling when it comes to your process, but your process is your process. To be honest, I don't want nobody else's process. I don't want nobody else's process. Because listen, the stuff I done went through already, I wouldn't want nobody to go through.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

I see other people go through. I don't want that. I don't want that.

SPEAKER_03 29:11

I don't want that. Have you ever just seen somebody in exhort anointed? And when they open up their mouth, the glory just falls and all that type of stuff. And I be looking like, you got the glory, you powerful. But listen, I don't know what that process costs you for that oil, baby.

SPEAKER_02 29:28

Baby, a lot of time it costs way too much. That price would be way too high.

SPEAKER_03 29:33

You know, gas price is high. Think about the oil. The cost of the oil.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

And it's always going up.

SPEAKER_03 29:40

Every new level you go up, it costs you something.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

It costs you something, and people don't really realize like how much that costs because it looks different for everybody, but you can't be great without making sacrifices. Like he said, I'm churchy, so you know, like um the most church person you're ever want to be.

SPEAKER_03 30:03

I can't talk about nobody be a churchy.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

Um, but like, in order for you, you know, to be great and to reign, you gotta suffer a little bit. Suffering only lasts a little while.

SPEAKER_03 30:15

Well, I and I'm and I'm not trying to boast. I'm definitely not trying to boast to Brad, because I give all the glory to God. But you know, sometimes when I, you know, I pray in church and stuff like that, people be like, man, you did that prayer. Oh man, you prayed, you prayed, you prayed the paints off the wall and all that type of stuff. And I'd be like, listen, y'all don't understand. Y'all don't understand the nights. I done cried praying the nights. Listen, this prayer, and don't get me wrong, my my late pastor, not late, he's not dead. I'm sorry. I'm trying to kill the guy. I'm trying to kill the man off. But uh my old pastor, uh Daryl M. Stackhouse II, listen, that man, he taught, if he did nothing else, he taught us how to pray. And so, like, I always knew I had a prayer mental because I was always drawn to prayer. But the things I had to go through to get that prayer mental, like the pain, the hurt, the struggle, the things I had to go through to get that prayer mental. There was there was days where I would be crying for days because I felt like people turned their back on me, the things that I went through, that even just how I felt about myself.

SPEAKER_02 31:36

Because the first thing people say is, oh, you you acting different, you acting funny. Like people love to say that. I'm I'm not acting different, I'm not acting funny, I'm just not that person anymore. You have to, you have to choose to be different. It's a conscious choice that you have to you have to make every day.

SPEAKER_03 31:54

Yeah. And y'all know, like, y'all know how to I keep telling y'all, like, my process of moving to Charlotte like was painful. Don't get me wrong. I always wanted to live in the city, but I did not want to leave my comfort zone of where I was at. That process of growth, this process of growth has been one of the hardest transitions, but one of the best transitions of my life. Um, because I'm still transitioning, I'm still getting used to Charlotte, I'm still getting used to certain things in here. And then, you know, knowing that possibly one day that I'm gonna have to go back. Because you somebody prophesied that to me and the Lord did show me up. I'm like, yo, I don't want to go back.

SPEAKER_02 32:39

But why don't you want to go back?

SPEAKER_03 32:41

Why?

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Do you not want to go back because you don't want to go back into those old habits or mindsets, or you don't want to go back because um you're not ready for how people may or may not perceive you? Or like what is your what is your battle with that?

SPEAKER_03 32:59

Again, I told y'all, this is my. You know, it was it was some good, it was some bad. And I feel like the Lord pulled me out for a reason. So in my head, if you pull me out, why are you sending me back? And so that's the thing that I battle with. And you know, of course, I'ma do, I'm gonna do what he say do. Period. I'm gonna do what he says do. Because I might not understand it and I might not know the purpose and the plan right now. But I'm gonna do what he say do. As much as I might not want to do it, I might go back kicking and screaming. But whenever he calls me back, I go back. Fuck that me. But I go back. That was a lot that just came out of my mouth.

SPEAKER_00 34:01

But uh, yeah, that's why we couldn't pack that.

SPEAKER_03 34:05

You sure?

SPEAKER_00 34:05

I'm glad we could unpack that.

SPEAKER_03 34:07

I'm glad we shouldn't unpack some stuff over here. But uh, you know, just I mean, back to the original thing, like nobody understands your process. And again, like some people's processes are harder than others, some are easier than others. Some people get there faster than other people. You know, I used to look at other people and be like, dang, I should be where they at. But then again, my process is not their process. One thing I used to do a lot, I ain't gonna even lie, a lot, even because I'm 37 now. I used to wish I was a pastor way back. I used to wish I was a pastor back in my 20s. But I wasn't ready. But I seen other people that pastored in their 20s. Um, they was pastoring and had flourishing ministries and all that type of stuff like that. But then when they hit their 30s, they don't know who they are. Because they had put on such a persona and they had to put on uh a person that wasn't them for the church people. And so when I seen that and had a different view, I'm glad that I wasn't pastoring in my 20s. And I ain't pastoring now. It's gonna happen, but at least I know when I pass, when I start pastoring, like I will know who I am. I have been through enough things, I have seen enough things to know how not to pastor, how to pastor. And I'm not gonna say that I always get it right, but I feel like I know enough to be able to have a well functioning church. And I believe the hand of the Lord is on my life when it comes to pastoring. Listen, if because if it was up to me, I just have an online church. We'll be listening this would be this would be my church right now. Online. I ain't gotta deal with none of y'all. I just come on every week, give y'all the word, y'all so, and we're gonna bother our business.

SPEAKER_02 36:14

It's all simple, right? What? Until you get them inboxes, talking about some pastors.

SPEAKER_03 36:20

Um I don't answer no inboxes.

SPEAKER_02 36:23

You got an online church, you gotta answer the inboxes.

SPEAKER_03 36:26

That ain't that type of online church. You just get your word um Sunday.

SPEAKER_01 36:31

And where is where is the growth? Where is the growth? Through the word. You know what? I'm too cute.

SPEAKER_03 36:38

Listen. Oh God, because that's all you need. That's all you need.

SPEAKER_01 36:43

That's all you got, that's all you need.

SPEAKER_03 36:44

Because the Bible says a baby can understand his word.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

Amen.

SPEAKER_03 36:49

So, I mean, let's just be honest. The word is all I ain't even gotta really preach. I can just say his word.

SPEAKER_02 36:57

And stand alone.

SPEAKER_03 36:58

Stand alone. But you know, for some of y'all hard-headed people like myself, we got we need it broken down. Because listen, I'd be like, what the where do you find that in the Bible? What is that? Wait a minute. That wasn't in the no, that wasn't in the scripture. That went in the scripture, but you know, hard-headed, hard-headed people like me, you know. But again, back to the process. People don't know like what broke you, what exhausted you, what triggered you, uh, you know, what God had to pull you out of, especially what God had to pull you out of.

SPEAKER_02 37:34

You can't ever allow somebody to take you back to something God pulled you out of. That's crazy. We were really talking about that. Um, we were talking about that the other day. Like, no, I I've done too much work. The Lord has done too much work in me. There's been so much healing to take place. I could never, never, never, never allow somebody to take me back to what God pulled me out of.

SPEAKER_03 38:05

I refuse. Listen, I told y'all about my situation. God himself is gonna have to appear before my eyes. Before, and I need him come in physical form.

SPEAKER_01 38:18

Physical form is crazy, not spirit.

SPEAKER_03 38:21

I need physical form to say go back. Cause I ain't no way in H E double hockey sticks. Did I go back to what God done pulled me? Cause you you better put that on a t-shirt.

SPEAKER_02 38:37

Stopping, stop.

SPEAKER_03 38:39

They don't see the pain that creates the change.

SPEAKER_02 38:42

They don't see the pain that creates the change. Like, again, going back to the likes, the applause, the views, people see all of those things, but they don't see what you had to go through to come out of to build whatever it is that you're building that they're now seeing the fruit of.

SPEAKER_03 39:02

I'm still stuck on that. People don't see the pain that creates the change. That creates the change. I might put that on DJ.

SPEAKER_02 39:11

I don't know, I'm sure I'll buy it.

SPEAKER_03 39:13

Yeah, it's yours. What you talk about? Put that on TJ. I'll buy it. I buy it. I mean, that is so true because people just see the the finished product. We we love to see the finished product, but we don't love to see how it started. And a lot of times we don't even want to hear how it started. We just want people to be who they are right now.

SPEAKER_02 39:37

I don't know. I love a good backstory. I love a good backstory, but with anything because I like documentaries.

SPEAKER_03 39:44

When I watch documentaries, I'll be like, what happened? Wait, because what we was watching earlier. We watch uh some movie called The Crash. The Crash. We watched the Crash and I was like, what is going on here?

SPEAKER_00 40:00

It was a lot.

SPEAKER_03 40:01

It was a lot going on. If y'all ain't seen it, it's on Netflix. It's called The Crash. We watched it and I was just like, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 40:08

Because it's like on the surface, it looked like one thing, and then when you start to unpack things and you look deeper into it, you're like, actually, this what it really was. So yeah, you know, we don't want to give any spoiler.

SPEAKER_03 40:26

Yeah, but you know, God often grows you in secret anyway.

SPEAKER_02 40:31

Because anything, anything that is birthed out, anything that is grown, it has to go through an incubation period. It has to when you're dealing with like with fruit, with with seed, it grows down before it grows up. And a lot of time that's like us as people, we have to build a foundation before we can build a house. So yeah, you gotta before you people can see your public fruit, your public success, they you you first have to do the work privately. You have to do the work privately to make sure that you have a firm foundation that that your fruit is going to even survive. Because that's a lot of the problems that these people who want to be overnight successes, they they they be out here premature. They they be producing fruit that's not ready, not ready to be seen, and then they wonder why it didn't survive. It doesn't last, there's no longevity because you didn't fortify a foundation where it could stand and last.

SPEAKER_03 41:48

That's true. I don't want to talk about these people that be prophesying. I don't want to talk about people. These people that be prophesying and be telling these people that they pastors and bishops and apostles, and then these people go out the next week and start a church and try to start a church.

SPEAKER_02 42:10

And I be like, Where is your fruit?

SPEAKER_03 42:14

What have you endured?

SPEAKER_02 42:15

Where is your work?

SPEAKER_03 42:17

Who have you served? Who is your pastor?

SPEAKER_02 42:22

Where is your knowledge of the Bible that you read for yourself?

SPEAKER_03 42:26

Do you know how to rightly divide the word?

SPEAKER_02 42:29

Do you have the evidence of speaking in tongues or could you take a class?

SPEAKER_03 42:33

A class on tongues?

SPEAKER_02 42:35

They have them.

SPEAKER_03 42:36

For real?

SPEAKER_02 42:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 42:37

I did not know that.

SPEAKER_02 42:39

Everybody ain't come through the old way. Some people these out here.

SPEAKER_03 42:42

I ain't know they had a class to speak in the toes. They got classes.

SPEAKER_02 42:57

They got classes.

SPEAKER_03 42:58

Yo, that's a first. I ain't never heard. I'm a researcher because I gotta see this. I ain't teaching how to speak and tell them that that's a I mean I didn't I didn't I didn't take it.

SPEAKER_02 43:08

I I came I came up the old way, okay? You you gotta call him until he comes. You gotta tarry for the Holy Ghost.

SPEAKER_03 43:17

Listen, I had to tarry. I had to tarry and my pastor told me we was tarrying down there for about an hour. My pastor told me, Rodney, if you don't catch this Holy Ghost, in the next he gave me like 30 seconds. And listen, within them 30 seconds, them tongues came. Because he was like, I'm not finna be down here with you all day. You're gonna get this Holy Ghost today. And we're not gonna be here all day because it don't take much. Either you want it or you don't.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

Either you want it or you don't.

SPEAKER_03 43:47

And I came through. And I've been hot. Almost as glory. Ta ta ta ta ta L.

SPEAKER_01 43:57

Get out. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 44:00

That's how some people tell me. You need to grow in the spirit. I'm sorry. Grow privately in the spirit. That way, when you come out, we know that you've been in the presence of the Lord. And you've been, you've been, you've been drenched with his oil. But listen, don't quit. Don't quit because don't nobody see your your don't see your progress or your growth yet. Don't quit. Listen, don't stop growing just because nobody applauds you. Keep healing. Keep praying. Keep becoming disciplined.

SPEAKER_00 44:36

That's a big one.

SPEAKER_03 44:37

Keep protecting your peace.

SPEAKER_01 44:39

That's a big one too.

SPEAKER_03 44:41

Keep changing privately. Because I promise you, you change privately.

SPEAKER_01 44:46

Nobody's gonna wrong.

SPEAKER_03 44:47

Listen, nobody what you do privately, you're gonna be rewarded openly. And and I and I like the I like the LML surprise. Please look at me and be like, this man ain't got nothing. Because when I open my mouth and God move through me, because it's only him.

SPEAKER_02 45:06

It's only him.

SPEAKER_03 45:07

It's only him, it ain't me.

SPEAKER_02 45:09

I tell people that all the time.

SPEAKER_03 45:10

It ain't me.

SPEAKER_02 45:11

That's all I got.

SPEAKER_03 45:12

They be trying to give me kudos. They're him, because I can't do nothing.

SPEAKER_02 45:16

I'm just the best of I can't do nothing without him. Eventually, private growth becomes public fruit. And if you fail in private, will nobody know? But if you fail in public, everybody know. Everybody gonna see it.

SPEAKER_03 45:31

Listen, I'd rather keep failing in private anyway. Because when it comes out in public, that means I done basically perfected it for the most part.

SPEAKER_02 45:41

Don't get wary in your well-doing just because they're not clapping for you. Growth is still happening, even when nobody notices. So don't forget to celebrate those small events.

SPEAKER_03 45:56

Listen, let me say this clearly. Y'all hear me? Clear, loud and clear. Nobody may not clap for your healing, your discipline, your consistency, your emotional growth, or your private battle. But that does not mean that it is less important. Because some of the greatest victories that you will have will happen in silence. And one day, now listen, one day, the life you pray for will be built on private decisions nobody sought you make. Listen, don't allow these people just because they nobody. Listen, only person you as my uh, as the old folks used to say, you only have the audience of one. And as long as God is seeing your progress, he can work with you. And he's gonna continue to work with you. And he's gonna keep keep continue to push to grow. He's gonna keep continue to uh allowing you to see yourself because he's gonna show you yourself where you need to grow and the areas you need to grow in. Because God don't want you to stay in the same place. Like that's not his intentions, that's not what he wants for you. He always wants you to grow, he always wants you to be who he has called you to be. He always wants you to be at the top and not the bottom.

SPEAKER_02 47:20

Because you're the head and not the tail.

SPEAKER_03 47:22

You're the lender and not the bottom.

SPEAKER_02 47:24

You are above and not behind.

SPEAKER_03 47:26

You are more than a conqueror, you are an overcomer. Huh?

SPEAKER_02 47:30

And you are growing in private.

SPEAKER_03 47:33

Improv. And we thank you. Keep growing, keep growing.

SPEAKER_02 47:38

Improv. Keep growing.

SPEAKER_03 47:39

Because we growing.

SPEAKER_02 47:40

We're growing.

SPEAKER_03 47:41

Improv. Because one day, one day. We're gonna be able to tell the full story.

SPEAKER_02 47:47

Amen.

SPEAKER_03 47:47

We're gonna be able to tell the testimony.

SPEAKER_00 47:49

Come on, testimonies.

SPEAKER_03 47:50

Because listen, one day I might just have a uh a testimonial service on the podcast. I'm gonna do it live and we're gonna have a testimony of service. Yeah. Let them testify the goodness of the Lord. Because he's doing things.

SPEAKER_01 48:06

He is.

SPEAKER_03 48:07

And a lot of people don't know what he's doing. But we need to we need to go back to testimony so it can encourage the saints and let the saints know that. Listen, if he could do it for you, he can do it for me too. Listen, this has been another episode of the I can't help them podcast. Now she wants to do it at now. She didn't want to do it in the beginning. But I'm your host, your boy Rodney Footman. You know what I'm saying? Listen, subscribe to every Apple Podcast, Spotify, YouTube. Uh again, I appreciate each and every person that has shown me love, continue to show me love. Listen, I thank Alex Michelle again for coming on another episode. She will not be back for a third one. Don't ask. She will not be back for a third one. We're going back to me being by myself. Single. You hear me?

SPEAKER_01 49:03

I mean by myself. The people, the people, you know, back the one.

SPEAKER_03 49:08

Don't ask for for another episode. I just let y'all know. Listen, we truly love y'all. Truly thank y'all again. Keep uh again, I got the fan mail, so if you want to post something in the fan mail, I'm shouting you out. Listen, if you want me to shout out anything that you're having, any services, any uh businesses that you're doing, please let me know. I'm shouting out on this podcast. Listen, again, it might be listen, my feet, but listen, it's gonna be out here. And if you don't want me to shout it out, it don't matter. I don't, I don't mind. Listen, but keep growing because we growing, you growing, we all growing together. In Jesus' name.

SPEAKER_02 49:50

In Jesus' name.

SPEAKER_03 49:51

I felt something right there in Jesus' name. Amen. Peace, y'all be blessed.