I'm Telling You Everything: My Unfiltered AMA

You asked. I answered. No filter, no script, no off-topic limits.

This week's quickie is an AMA where I'm sitting down solo and going through every question you sent me — the juicy ones, the deep ones, and the unhinged DMs. We're getting into intimacy, marriage, motherhood, business, and the conversations most people are too uncomfortable to have.

Some of what I cover:
💋 The one thing most women don't know about their own bodies
💋 Have I ever faked an orgasm (and the truth about my marriage)
💋 My honest take on sex toys in a relationship
💋 The hardest part of motherhood nobody talks about
💋 When I've felt most alone — and what got me through it
💋 The biggest lie about women's sexuality
💋 Marriage, almost not making it, and the work behind getting through

If someone sent you this episode, you're in the right place. This one's for the vain ones.

— 

🔗 Shop everything I talk about: www.cassidybybee.com
💌 Got a question? DM me on Instagram: @its_cassidybybee
🎧 New episodes every Wednesday 

If this episode hit you, share it, tag me, and send me your next round of questions. My DMs are always open. We are a no judgment zone.

I'm Cassidy. This is The Law of Cassidy. See you next week.

Transcript

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You asked and I'm answering everything today is a quickie. Solo, you guys are getting a lot of me by myself. Ask me anything today. No filter, no script, no off topic limits. You know me, I'm always real raw and honest. So it's a quickie and I'm coming in hot. Welcome back, vain ones. Let's go. Welcome to the Love Cassidy, where we talk intimacy, business, power, healing, and the conversations that most people are too uncomfortable to have. I'm Cassidy, entrepreneur, wife, mom, and someone who's spent nearly two decades in the intimacy and wellness space. If someone sent you this episode, you're in the right place. This one's for the vain ones. So here's how today's gonna work because you know me, if it's just me, I'm gonna get real and raw with you. I asked people to send me questions and you delivered. So I'm gonna go through them right now and answering them in real time. Um, just the questions that you have wanted me to answer here on the podcast through my DMs. I'm always saying ask me anything. So I've collectively collected, is that a word? We just made it made it one. So law of Cassidy, let's get into it. Question number one: What is one thing most women don't know about their own bodies that would change everything? I'm gonna say use lubrication. It's like this unspoken myth that people think if you need to use lube, then something is wrong with you. It's actually something's wrong with you if you're not using lube. Because, yes, naturally as women, we produce lubrication, right? But it's not enough lubrication for the friction going on during intercourse. So adding lubrication just makes all the difference makes difference, it makes it more comfortable, it makes it so you can feel more pleasure, you have more sensation. So I'm gonna say owning the fact that yes, you do self-lubricate, but you need to add lubrication. It's actually like the most important thing when it comes to bedroom activities. Okay. Next question Have you ever faked an orgasm? And if so, do you regret it? I'm like thinking about this. Um maybe with a random hookup once wasn't memorable enough to regret it. So I'm probably justified, but I've never, I couldn't even put it into words. You guys have got me speechless. I don't even think so. Maybe I was just not into it. No. In my current marriage, no, never have, haven't needed to go, Josh. Everybody cheer for Josh. Okay. Um, so what's the most common intimacy mistake you see couples make? I would say communication, and I know I've said that so many times, but it's so true. You're not gonna be able to get what you want in the bedroom if you're just expecting your partner to know what you want. So also that kind of leans into understanding your body. So some self-solo play, some masturbating, yes, it's a thing. Let's make it a thing. Because if you're not understanding your body and you're feeling disconnected with your partner in the bedroom, it's because you can't communicate what you want. So that was like one answer that bled into three different things. But communication, understanding your body, and being able to communicate that with your partner, that is probably one of the biggest mistakes that couples make. Okay. What is my actual opinion on sex toys in a relationship? Doesn't mean something is missing. I am pro-sex toy shocker. You can have all the sex toys, all the things. I'm doing a live shopping tonight. Hopefully, you guys have tuned in for that. It's fun. I'm doing a live shopping tonight, and I'm talking about some um We Vibe toys. And I learned that on the app, you can have 14 toys that you can run simultaneously at the same time. Clearly, one person does not need four 14 toys at the same time. But I mean, if you're maybe you're in an open relationship or something, like that's kind of fun. But yeah, um, all the toys. You need cockerings, you need vibrators, you need butt plugs, you need all of it. I'm all about it. I'm all about figuring out what you like, what your partner likes, experiencing those sensations together. They are not saying something's wrong in your relationship, they are just enhancing. So I am all about all the sex toys. Yes. Okay. What's the most unhinged thing someone has ever asked you in a DM about sex? I mean, I get a lot of foot requests. I know that's weird because I stated in the first ever episode of The Law of Cassidy that um I don't want to see your dick pics, so don't send them. I did learn too, a follower did tell me last week that you can sue in the state of Utah for $500 if somebody sends you a dick pic. So, bros, I'm gonna start collecting my money, okay? Just kidding. Um, I do get a lot of requests about my feet, which is really funny, which brings me back to what I was saying is I actually have like a disorder, like a form of muscular dystrophy. So my feet are like really freaking ugly. Okay. You do not want anything to do with my feet. I got these really high arches. Like, um, but the weirdest thing, um, most unhinged thing someone has ever asked you in a DM. I mean, I don't love it when people ask me if like I want to like hook up with them or like they can come and join me and my husband. I just think that's weird. Like, no judgment of anybody, but like I'm happily married, so no, I don't want to see what you can do. I'm good. I got Joshua, we're good. Okay. Okay. Is there anything you won't talk about on this podcast? I want to say no, because I've talked about everything from anal sex to shitty humans, but legal restraints. Sometimes you can't talk about things. So that would be the only time I couldn't talk about something, is if there was that type of a dynamic going on. But um, yeah, I'm a I'm an open book if you guys have not learned that yet. So Kay. What does a hard week in your marriage actually look like? So my marriage personally, a hard week would be high stress. We both have multiple things going on. Jovi's got things going on. We have a lack of help. Um, I always say it takes an army to raise a human, and we are very blessed with our nanny and our family. And if maybe all the help fell through and um we weren't communicating and we were holding unrealistic expectations for each other. But I feel like we've been through enough therapy to know not to do that, but we do have moments. And sometimes my delivery is not the greatest. I will take that, I will own that. Josh, are you listening? Hopefully, you're recording this part. Um, sometimes I am a little sharp-tongued and direct, and it comes across a little bitchy. So I always try and pause and not do that. But when I'm high stressed or like in the mode, like work mode, like doing my things, I sometimes am just short and direct. So, and then it comes across bitchy. But a hard week in marriage definitely would be all that stress going on, and then we haven't connected on an intimate level in weeks. Then it would cause a hard week in marriage because sex matters, guys. Okay. So, how do you keep the attraction alive with your husband when life is chaos? I think it's really important to stay connected on an intimate level. Um, my husband is a personal touch, so is my daughter, which I am not. So I am, oh, so is my dog, I think. Can dogs have love languages? Because I'm pretty sure everybody in my household wants to be touched by me all the time. So, and I'm always just like, I need space. Um, but paying attention to your partner's like needs and wants and desires and making it fun too. So keep the attraction alive with your husband when life is chaos. Like I said, like send them those, like I had to go. This is TMI, but like I said, I share everything. I had to go to LA for a meeting. Um, I met with some work dynamic. I also got some new product to bring home. And I was like, well, what a better time to test this. So, you know, I made my husband a little video. That's hot, right? So doing things like that, sending him that, he loved it. Those are ways that you can stay um attracted to each other and keep that connection strong is just doing little spicy things here and there. Okay. What's the one thing about marriage nobody warned you about? Hmm. Um communication and not that I didn't know how to communicate, but being able cannot talk, being able to communicate and deliver in the right way for my husband to take it the right way. Because you kind of almost have to learn how to deliver stuff to your partner because we're different, right? We take things different, we have different approaches. And if you don't learn to discuss things in a roundabout way that make him feel seen and safe and valued, then it can just cause more chaos. So I would say the communication part, shout out to my therapist. Um, I would have never learned any of that without my therapist. That's why I'm always pro-therapy. Go to therapy. Okay. Have you and Josh ever come close to not making it? Uh, yeah, the last year. If I'm being completely real, Ronna, real honest and raw with you. Um, yep, the sex lady that talks about sex on the internet is telling you in the last year, there have been moments where I have questioned if we're gonna make it through. Just dynamics that I've been through in my personal life, dynamics that I've been through in my work career, um, building this brand, all the things. Thank goodness we've had a therapist because I do not think we would have made it if we didn't have a therapist, because it was rough. And I'm really proud of him and me in dynamics where we would be discussing hot topics like that were very heated. I remember one situation, I think I've maybe shared this before, where it was pretty intense, and our therapist said, Do not go home and talk about this. I need you to table this, and we can talk about it when you come back. And I'm really proud of both of us because in the first time ever, because we always want the last word, us two, um, neither of us brought it up, which that was a massive um shift in emotional maturity for both of us. So go Josh, go me. So yeah, I would say the last year, year and a half, there have been many moments. So yes, you're not alone if you feel like everything's falling apart. Cause girl, I literally like own that entire struggle bus and have for the last year. Okay. Um has forgiveness ever cost you too much? So yeah, I tend to see the good in everyone, and I'm having to learn how to have boundaries because I get taken advantage of and treated like absolute shit, because I just believe in people and I see the things that they, you know, are capable of, and I let them back in my life never again. Um, so I'm just a genuinely kind person, and I genuinely believe the whole world is kind, but based off of what I've been through in the last year and a half, I've had to realize that the whole world is not kind and it's okay to have boundaries. And um, there was a quote by Taylor Swift about something that had to do with forgiveness, and you don't really have to forgive and forget. You can just move on because you don't owe that person that forgiveness type of dynamic. I don't remember, I'm totally slaughtering it, but if you guys have seen the video, you probably know what I'm talking about. And I'm like, you know what? T Swift is always hitting home with me. She knows. She knows. Okay, I got a few mom questions. So, what's the hardest part of being a mom that nobody talks about, honestly? It would probably be you're doing all the things and you're always feeling like you're not doing enough. And I think it's heavy here where I live because motherhood is so prominent here, right? All the Mormons have all the babies, and all the moms stay home and raise their babies, which is great. What a great blessing. But um, my my dynamic shift is very different. We've talked about this. I am the breadwinner of my family. Um, I have to have help. I only have one child. So I think the hardest part would be that mom guilt of should I not be working? What would it look like if I was just a stay-at-home mom? What it would it look like if she did have siblings? So I just think we all deal with that guilt. And I'm just here to tell you that everyone's situation is their own to own, and you're not doing anything wrong. The fact that you're keeping a human alive deserves a round of applause. So um, we all have mom guilt, we all go through it, we all have moments where we're like, oh, I shouldn't shouldn't have done that. I do know, I will share this tip though. I do know, and we talked about it with the podcast with Heather a little bit, how important it is to um conflict resolution in front of your kids. So, prime example, um kind of lost my shit on Jovi last week, stressful week, and I took some time to pause after, and I actually went back to her and I told her, sorry. I told her my behavior was not acceptable. And like, and the reason I did that is because in those dynamics when you lose your shit, right? Because we all do, we all lose our shit on our kids. It's like your kid sees you lose your shit, and then they don't see the like you resolving it or taking ownership or accountability, and that's where this anxiety builds in kids. So it's like you're not supposed to be perfect as a parent, none of us are, but when you do slip up, it you can really help your kid be able to process their emotions, their anxiety, conflict resolution if you take ownership for your mistakes as a parent and go and apologize. It was so funny because I I apologize to her, and when she gets uncomfortable, she she shows up in humor. She probably got that from me. And so I apologized to her, and she's like, Mom, it's fine, six, seven. Like, and I was like, Joe, it's like, no, I'm really sorry. Like, and it kind of I kind of like watched it process in her brain. So if I can give you any advice to any new moms or moms out there, like if you lose your shit, like apologize to your kid. I know that seems backwards, but sometimes it helps with their conflict resolution. Okay. Thanks for getting on my motherhood TED Talk. Okay. Um, do you ever feel guilty about how much you work? How do you handle that? Um, yeah, all the time. And I just really try and be present when it's time to be present. I try and plan stuff as a family. I the things I'm doing right now, I'm setting it up so I don't have to work as much because I do work a lot and I am, you know, the sole breadwinner. So I'm always trying to find a way to be able to continue to grow and not feel so much I have to carry the entire burden. Like I've hired so many people this year. Um, I've brought on people and let go of the reins of being the control of things, and I'm doing that because I'm one person. So if I want to be the most present I can be, it's making those decisions of bringing on people to help me. Because I think sometimes I live in an imposter syndrome of I don't realize how big this is that I've built. And I'm I'm running a multi-million dollar business and I'm launching a new brand that's also gonna be a multi-million dollar business. And so that takes a staff. So I shouldn't be expected to do it all on my own. Okay. All right, this one is uh gonna be a hard one, and I'm gonna try not to cry because so when in life have you felt most alone? And it would probably be in the last three months, which is crazy. Um if you're very close to me, there's only a seldom few of you, you know how hard it's been. I have literally been through a season that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Um just in a personal career dynamic of people taking things from me and me trying to grow something and making hard decisions and putting myself out there like on the podcast and losing people in my life that I thought were my people and people judging me and people literally like mean girl dynamic when we're almost 40, um, losing people that I thought would be in my life forever. Um, I actually it's so crazy. This question came up because I actually said this to one of my closest friends, Haley. I was like, I just feel very alone in this dynamic. And if I can give any advice, it's like just because something does someone does something different than you doesn't mean you can cast judgment, doesn't mean you should and I just really try and embrace it in a sense of feeling bad for these people that are treating me this way because they really are hurting inside to be able to do this to someone, which kind of sucks, but I would definitely say the last three months. But the people that are in my life are in my life, and I appreciate them, and they really try to make sure to not let me feel alone. But it's been a rough so far in 2026. I know I said that last year, but this season of all this change and adapting, and I never in a million years thought I would lose some of the people I've lost in my life. They were friendship dynamics that I always thought I would always have. So yeah, that's the answer to that. Moving on. Awkward. Okay, thanks for attending that emotional moment. Um, this is a funny one. So we'll share this. What does Jovi think you do for work? You know, she's never really asked point blank. I mean, we've had moments where, you know, she found the butt plug when she was like two and was like, Mom, look at this carrot. I'm like, that's not a carrot, put it away. Like, I everything's always put away, but there have been times where things get found. I mean, it happens to everyone. Um, she knows I make videos. She knows I go live. She, I'm trying to think. I think I just tell her like I help, you know, mommies and daddies feel confident and love each other more. Like it's never really been a thing. Um, but we're also like really open about stuff and like not crossing the line. But I think Jovi just thinks I'm, I don't know, a movie star. I make videos. I have no idea. I have not, it hasn't come up yet. So I just, you know, nope, that's mommy's work. That's for mommy's work. We've never really had the conversation, but when we do, I will share it with you so you guys can all just take notes because it'll be a good one. Okay, if you could go back and tell yourself something before you became a mom, what would it be? I had someone say to me, and in the moment I was like, okay, but now it's so true. When you're a mom, the days are long and the years are short. Like, you could have days where you're like, oh my gosh, this is the worst day ever. You literally are like drowning and spit up, you haven't showered in two days, like you're trying to do all the things, and you're just like, oh, when is this gonna end? Right. And then you like blink and you have an almost seven-year-old. Like, it's so true. So even in the moments that are hard, I feel like as a society, we're always like, oh my gosh, newborn age is so hard. Oh my gosh, I can't sleep, or oh my gosh, two terrible twos, or oh my gosh, you know, horrible threes. Like, we're always like chasing the next step. And I think if we could just pause and realize that one day we're gonna look back on that and like wish that we were still in that phase. So um, it would be that the days are long and the years are short, and to make sure to soak it all up because you'll blink and you'll have an almost seven year old. It's me, it's crazy. Okay. Utah, what is the biggest lie in you what is the biggest lie Utah culture tells women about their sexuality? I don't know if I would label it Utah culture. I mean, everybody's obsessed with Utah right now. Um, I think a lot of women don't think they're allowed to understand their bodies and like own their pleasure, which is crazy because I think a lot of them just think they're supposed to have sex to have babies. And it's so much more than that. So I would definitely say owning your body and masturbation is not bad. It's actually learning your body, so you can then give more information to your partner and understand what you like. So yeah. Um, do you still have a relationship with the Mormon church or has the chapter closed? Um, my whole family's Mormon. My husband's whole family's Mormon. Um, we go sometimes, Christmas, Easter, or just because um, I got hot Jesus on my wall in my house. You guys have probably seen him in the videos. I realize I'm like, man, I'm doing this sex dual video and there's Jesus in the background. Like, is that offensive? No, Jesus loves me. I'm helping marriages, okay? Um, there are things with the church that I don't agree with. So, but like my mom has always taught me, and I've talked about it many times on this podcast, is like you gotta worry about your relationship with God, and you gotta like it's it's not checking a box, it's not based off of man's opinion and that whether it be a bishop or a stake president or whatever. We just live our life and we believe in God, we're good people. If we want to go to a church, we go to a church, but our families are really supportive of that because we're supportive, we're like not anti. So that's where I fell. I guess I don't know if you call me a Jack Mormon. I don't even think I'm that because I'm not pretending to be something. People know where I stand, like so yeah. Has living in Utah ever made you want to leave? Today, it's cold. I don't know why I live here, it's cold, but I've been here my whole life and it's great to raise kids here, and there's a lot to do. And you did usually have four-ish seasons, but I just don't like the cold. Like, I kind of sometimes wonder like, what would my life be like if I was by a beach and I could just be tan year round because I am glowing in the dark right now. Okay. Then I picked picked through some business questions you guys asked me. So, what's the hardest part of running your business right now? There's a lot. Um, I just want to run my business. It's crazy how like haters on the internet will try and like mess with your dynamic. I've just never been that way. I'm like, was I just born with a special gene or something? Like, I don't understand how someone could go after someone's like livelihood, like mess with their content, like report their stuff. Like, it's just weird. Like, I don't, I don't get it. So um, that would probably be the hardest part is just like random people trying to mess with my stuff. Like, instead of worrying about what I'm doing, just go do you boo and we all can make money and carry on with our lives. Um, what would you tell someone who wants to build something but keeps waiting for the right time? There is no right time. I'm doubting myself for the last year and a half of, oh, did I what did I do this too soon? No, it's always gonna be hard. Life is hard. Um, you just have to do it because if you don't, you're gonna continue to wait for the rest of your life. So there is no right time. Just do the things. We only have one life. And like I said, the days are long, but the years are short. So do the thing. Have you ever wanted to quit? What kept you going? Yeah, the last week. Yes, I have wanted to quit many times. Um, what kept kept me going? I got a family to feed. And I believe in my passion of what I'm building and what I want to deliver to the world about sex. Like, covet is the last 20 years of what I've built. And it's like not leaning into the over-sexualized, it's not leading into porn, it's not leading, not that that's bad, like to each their own, but I wanted to have a place for people that want to understand their bodies, want to connect with their partners, aren't ashamed to get on the website, don't feel like it's overly sexualized. So I like that's what keeps me going is knowing that I need to deliver that brand and that world and that identity and that space to the world. So that's what keeps me going. What does success actually look like for you? Not the Instagram version, the real one. You know, probably my daughter one day knowing that her mom did all that. Um, I because they're like little sponges, they like soak it all up, right? I mean, things are things, you can get rid of things, you can, you know, buy the boat, buy the house, go on the trip or whatever, but it's have you positively impacted your children? And do they want to share that with the world? And do they know that my mom did that? You know, I think it's it's my daughter, it's not I just want her to see what you can do and what hard work can do. And you know, you're gonna have times where you're not handed things and you have to figure it out, and so I think that's what success will look like is one day my daughter realizes like, wow, my mom did all that. Like that to me is success, and healthy and happy uh husband and me and Joves, like that's my top priority, so that's what success looks like to me. Okay, biggest green flag in a person. Um, biggest green flag in a person for me is gonna be zero expectations. Expectations are the root of all evil in friendships, in relationships. If you have expectations, you are going to be disappointed. So showing up authentically as who you are and having zero expectations for anyone and just being a good person, that's gonna be a green flag for me. Yep. That's gonna be because I I just think it's weird when people get weird when people don't text back. I think it's weird when people have expectations of, oh, she didn't call me last, you know. You just we're all living our own lives, we're all surviving. So a green flag for me is somebody who understands like expectations are just not a thing. So just don't have them. Okay. Most overrated thing in the wellness space right now. I don't know, I don't know if it's overrated. I actually want to try it. Have you guys seen that stuff on TikTok? It's like by Medicube, and they're saying it's the Botox, like, and they're like putting it on their foreheads and their lips, and it's like plumping stuff. So I don't want to say it's overrated, but everybody's talking about it. It must work unless they're just talking about it because everybody's talking about it, because that also is a thing on TikTok. But that I'm like, is it really working? I'll have to see. I ordered some guilty to see if it's actually gonna work. So um, one product from your shop, you genuinely cannot live without lube. No, yeah, that's true. Um, but um I'm an arousal oil girl that on arousal oil is the bombdiggity.com. Um, also anything that vibrates, I'm pro-toy, so yay for all that. So I know I was supposed to just pick up one, but that was like a combination of two things, but they're all equally important. What's something you believe that most people would disagree with? Man, these questions are deep, you guys. Um I don't like pizza. I know. It's not I mean, I'll eat it because my husband and daughter love it, but it's not my thing. You can judge me for it. I could sit there and watch somebody eat pizza and I would have zero temptation. I don't know why. I don't know where that came from, but I mean, in an outburger, game over. Like I'm a cheeseburger girl. Last thing that made you ugly cry. My life right now. That sounds terrible. My life is great, but like there's just been a lot. There's been a lot, there's been a lot of dynamics. Um, we're getting through it, but yeah, probably that. Or there was like a really cute reel. Do you guys cry at reels? It's so embarrassing. Happens all the time at work here. Okay, so like I said, this is our quickie. We're making things short and sweet on this quickie. So we're gonna get into the covet this, which I always do. I didn't do questions in the DMs because that was all questions in the DMs. So covet this is gonna tie directly into toys in relationships. And I'm recommending one for the men this week because they deserve a covet this too. This is called the jet pack, okay? If you watched the live shopping, if not, you can go to my website and watch where I talk about this, okay? This is an auto-stroking masturbator. It does exactly what it sounds like it does, okay? So there's like a thrusting cylinder fully adjustable to your size because you know we want to make sure that everybody has something. I love that this is full. I'm gonna pull it out.

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Okay.

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Look at this thing. It looks like a steering wheel. Okay, so fully adjustable to your size, okay. So this this part can go up or down, okay. This thing literally um glides smoothly and firmly with up to nine centimeters of stroke depth. For the long ones, I guess. Um, five stroke length, seven speed levels, two hours of runtime. I mean, that's quite the marathon, but um, you know. Here's the thing that made me stop when I saw this at the show in Vegas, okay? It literally works through the app, but it's virtually like video sync. So let's say you're watching a little corn, okay? As the girl is doing the things, it moves, syncs with the video. I didn't believe it either until I watched it. Like the guy like synced it, like right there. Like we're watching it. Coolest thing ever. So, ladies, if you make him a video, spicy video, you see where I'm going here? Okay, okay. So it also connects to a partner's phone in the same room or across the world. So this is just not a solo toy, this is like a connection tool, okay? This is called the jet pack. I love that it looks like a steering wheel. Listen, we have so much for women's like women in their pleasure. They really have not nailed men. They did with this device, okay? So link link to my show notes, or you can go on my website and search for the jet pack, okay? Um, so also like every episode, we're gonna get into the law of Cassidy. So today you asked me everything, and I answered everything because I think the most powerful thing a woman with a platform can do is tell the truth. Not a curated version, not the version that makes everyone else feel comfortable. The real one. You can handle the real one. That's why you're here. That's the law. That's your ask me anything quickie. Thanks for the questions, keep them coming. DM me what you want me to go over next. I'm always open to suggestions. And if this episode hit you, share it, tag me. And if you have a question you were too scared to send, send it anyway. We are in no judgment zone. My DMs are always open. I'm Cassidy. This is the Law of Cassidy, and I'll see you next week.