Why Masturbation Is Actually GOOD For You

It’s officially Masturbation May… and yes, we’re talking about it.

In this solo quickie episode of The Law of Cassidy, I’m breaking down the science, shame, benefits, and reality of masturbation — for BOTH women and men.

Because solo pleasure isn’t dirty.
It isn’t shameful.
And it definitely isn’t something we should still be whispering about in 2026.

💋 Why masturbation lowers stress and anxiety
💋 The real science behind orgasms and dopamine
💋 Why so many women feel shame around pleasure
💋 The Utah / purity culture conversation nobody wants to have
💋 Tips for women exploring solo pleasure
💋 Tips for men who want better stamina and control
💋 How masturbation improves intimacy and confidence
💋 The connection between masturbation and sleep
💋 Why your nervous system NEEDS pleasure
💋 The “7-Day Masturbation Challenge”

I also answer listener DMs about:
💋 Never masturbating before
💋 Feeling guilty during solo play
💋 When masturbation starts replacing intimacy in relationships

This episode is funny, educational, spicy, and probably something you should send to your best friend immediately.

🛍️ COVETED PICKS THIS WEEK:

• For her — Sensual Newbie Turbo (link in show notes)
• For him — Jetpack auto-stroker (link in show notes)
• For him (manual) — Trifecta

📩 Take the 7-day challenge and DM me your wins.

—————

The Law of Cassidy is where I talk intimacy, business, power, healing, and fun — the things people are too uncomfortable to talk about. New episodes every week.

🎧 Follow on Spotify + Apple Podcasts 

📱 Follow @its_cassidybybee on Instagram + TikTok 

🛍️ Shop everything at cassidybybee.com

#MasturbationMay #LawOfCassidy #SexualHealth #IntimacyPodcast #WomensHealth #MensHealth #SexEducation

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey everybody, it's May, and May has a name. It is Masturbation May officially. And before anyone like pieces out, I need you to stay with me. This is not a joke. This is an internationally recognized month dedicated to sexual health. Can we get a round of applause? Okay. Um, body awareness and the most accessible form of pleasure available to every single human on the planet. So there's no partner required, there's no reservation, there's no pants if you don't want them. Today we're celebrating, we're talking about why it matters, what the science actually says about masturbation, how to do it well. So send this to your bestie, okay? And do it well for women and for men. I know the bros are all thinking, I don't need to know how to learn how to jack off, but I'm gonna give you some tips today, okay? And I have a challenge for you at the end that I genuinely want you all to take. So this is a quickie, just me. I know there's been a few of these lately, but I got a lot of stuff to share with you. So it's May. Welcome back, vein ones. Let's go. Welcome to the Law of Cassidy, where we talk intimacy, business, power, healing, and we talk about the things that people are too uncomfortable to talk about. I'm Cassidy, I'm an entrepreneur, a wife, a mom, and someone who spent nearly two decades in the intimacy and wellness space. If someone sent you this episode, you're in the right place. Let's get into it. So, yes, you guys, Google that shit. GTS. Masturbation may started as a response to shame. So actually in 1994, the US Surgeon General was fired for suggesting that masturbation should be disconnected, dis should be disgust. Sorry, not disconnected, disgust in sexual education. Someone fired, fired, fired for that, for saying the most natural thing in the world should be talked about. And so the sex positive community said, fine, we'll give it an entire freaking month. Hell to the yes. So every May, the goal is the same. Normalize the conversation, remove the shame, remind people that solo pleasure is not a consolation prize or a sign of desperation. It's a fundamental part of sexual health. So self-knowledge, mental well-being, helps with depression, even improves your skin. We'll get into all of it. So after nearly 20 years in this space, I can tell you with complete confidence that the people who have the best sex lives, we've said it before, are more confident in the bedroom because they actually masturbate. Okay. They have a deeper connection with their own pleasure. They all have one thing in common. They know their bodies. And knowing your body actually starts here. So this is a good episode. Let's get into it. So before we get into it, I need to name something. So there's a very old joke. I don't know if you guys have ever heard this, that every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. It's funny because it's based on something real that the deeply ingrained shame that most of us carry around solo pleasure. Hello, I was raised Mormon, okay? I like have seen like horror stories where people are literally going to their bishops and telling them that they masturbated, okay? So that shame did not come from nowhere. It was handed to us, okay, by religion, by culture, by the collective decision that women's pleasure specifically was dangerous, sinful, and certainly not something to be explored alone. Okay. Here in Utah, I say this with love and a well-lived experience. That shame runs real deep. Okay. The culture taught us that our bodies were not ours to know. Um, it also taught us that touching yourself was something to confess, going to the bishop, going to the stake president, whatever, which is so creepy weird. Because why does a grown man like if you're in like high school and you're like, oh, I just totally fiddled the meaning you gotta go talk to your bishop? Weird, okay? So no. So, and what that teaching produced was a generation of women, most who are my clients and have been for years, who don't know what they like, can't ask for what they want, and have handed their pleasure entirely to someone else and someone who also has no map, which is why I truly feel like I've been doing God's work. And those of you that are my clients will know and agree, um, educating you all and giving you guidance and direction on how to have a more pleasurable fulfillment sex life, fulfilled sex life. Okay. So the shame is not yours. It was placed on you. And this month, this episode is me giving you the full permission to put it down. Your body was built for pleasure. That is not a sin. It's an actual freaking fact, okay? So let's get into some science because I know some of you need receipts before you give yourself permission. So if you have a girlfriend that's never masturbated, please send her this episode because I'm gonna change her life today. Okay. So here is what the verified research actually says about masturbation. One, it lowers cortisol. So cortisol is your stress hormone. So orgasms have been shown to reduce it. Masturbation is likely nature's anti-anxiety pill, which is very true. There have been times where I've been overly stressed and I masturbate and I'm like, wow, I actually like can breathe. Like my life is so chill. Like it's just produces that oxytocin. We're all here for all the happiness, okay? Um, it which goes to the next one. So it releases endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin. So three chemicals in your brain, three chemicals that your brain desperately needs. Endorphins boost your mood and reduce pain. Dopamine is your reward chemical, it rewires your brain for pleasure over panic. And oxytocin is the love hormone, creates feelings of safety and calm, even when you're completely alone. So you can hold yourself. Your body already knows how. So it actually improves sleep. Um, the hormonal cocktail release during orgasm makes your nervous system feel safe enough to rest. If you're lying awake at night spiraling and you can't sleep, you just need to pull out your vibrator and fiddle the bean, and then you're gonna fall asleep nicely. Thank me later. Okay. So it grounds you in the present moment. So we live in a very high anxiety world. So anxiety lives in the past and the future. Your body only exists right now. Okay. So masturbation is one of the most effective mindfulness practices available, and it feels significantly better than any breathing exercise. So, yes, breathing exercises are important, and breathing does come into play with your whole like climax orgasm dynamic. But um, yeah, just masturbate. You're just gonna feel better, okay? It gives you a sense of control when everything feels like it's spinning, life is chaos, your body is something you can come back to, something you are in charge of. That feeling uh ripples outward into the rest of your life, which is great. It's like people just have an aura, you know? Like, why why why is she glowing? Because she masturbates regularly, okay? For men, it may reduce prostate cancer risk. So a 2023 study of nearly 32,000 men found that those who ejaculated 21 or more times a month, that's a lot, had a lower risk of prostate cancer. So, guys, it's time to pick up the pace, okay? Your doctor will not tell you this, but I will. Thank you. You're welcome, okay? It improves ejaculatory control. So, for men who are dealing with premature ejaculation, which we have talked about on this podcast before, regular masturbation using the stop-start technique edging can build the stamina and the control. We talked about this many times, but the body can be trained. And if you're struggling with that, it's time to start figuring out your body. So we're gonna deep dive for her and then for him and get into some more juicy masturbation tea because that's all we're talking about in this episode is masturbation. How fun. Okay, so for her, for the women, and I say this knowing that some of you have never done this, and it's okay. Start with your hands. Fun fact I read an article in Cosmo magazine when I was like 17 years old, okay? Figure eight, yes, okay. Um, there's no toy require required, just curiosity and privacy. The clitoris is your starting point, it exists entirely for pleasure. That is what God put it there for. How freaking cool! Like 10,000 nerve endings. So you need to use it, it has no other function, and nearly every woman requires some external stimulation to orgasm. So start gently, one or two fingers, explore pressure and pace and motion, rubbing, circling, tapping, all worth trying. Follow what your body actually responds to. If you want to explore internally, the G spot is located behind the pubic bone. So it's like scoop motion, okay? Insert one or two of your fingers and make a gentle come hither motion. Combine clitoral and internal stimulation for what some call a blended orgasm, which is exactly what it sounds like, okay. So you want to try different positions, like maybe lying down is comfortable, but not the only option. You could be on your knees or standing, do it in the shower or even a squat can change the entire experience. Your body is not one-dimensional, and neither is pleasure. So learning your body and what you like and different sensations, you got to try different things, okay? So, and if the shame comes up while you're doing this, and it might, you just need to say, the shame's not mine, and keep going because this is your body, it's your safe place, and your clitoris was made for pleasure. So let's go. Okay. So for men, because this show is for everyone, men, you deserve education too. And I know you're thinking, what can this girl teach me about jacking off? Let's get into it. So beyond the classic stroke, which works well and always will, there's a lot more available to you. Vary your grip, your speed, try edging. So, what that is is getting close to almost, but then pulling back, bringing yourself close to orgasm and stopping, then starting again. This prolongs the experience and intensifies the eventual climax, okay? So the perineum, which is the area between the base of the penis and the anus, is full of nerve endings, okay? Most men completely ignore this area. So are the testicles handled gently, okay? So prostate stimulation internally is the male G spot. It exists, it is legitimate, and the men who explore it report some of the most intense orgasms of their lives. You've probably seen me share videos where I'm like, you know, dudes leave comments that say I call it pain in the ceiling because it was just so intense, so like powerful. Like, yes, your prostate's there to be stimulated. It's not crazy. It doesn't mean you're gay, and if you're gay, that's fine too. Like, don't be weird about it, okay? So um use lube always, silicone base for solo play, just especially with just the maneuver that you're doing, you just need it to reduce the friction, increase the sensation, and it makes the whole experience significantly better. Um, and if you only ever use one technique, one grip, one speed, you're training your body to expect the one specific thing. So it is important to vary it, mix it up, try new things, use a toy, use a masturbator. Um, your body has more to offer than it'll initially show you. So you've got to really learn your body, just like I gave advice for the women. Okay. So, how to get in the mood when life has drained you. So, I want to talk about the real barrier for most people when it comes to masturbation. It's actually not shame, it's not technique, it's just being completely depleted by life and knowing how to access desire when your nervous system is running on like empty. And I have been there many times in the last year and a half. Okay. So, one, you need to create the environment. So a quiet space, dim the lights, put your phone in another room unless you're watching something while you're doing it. That's a thing. Or maybe you want some music on, okay. You can't access pleasure while half of your brain is waiting for a notification. Okay. The environment tells your nervous system it's safe to be here. Set it up like it matters because it does matter, okay? Explore your erogenous zones first. So don't rush to the main event, okay? Play with your breasts, your hips, your inner thighs, your neck. All of these are connected to your pleasure system. Touch them first. Let your body warm up from like the outside in, and you won't realize how many nerve endings you have and sensations you have all over your body until you start doing it. And you'll be like, oh, I kind of like to do that when I'm doing, you know. So then you can also deliver that to your partner. Okay. So let your brain help. So fantasy is your most powerful pleasure tool, more powerful than any toy. So whatever your brain goes to, let it. No judgment, no editing, no explaining to anyone. What happens in your imagination is yours entirely. So use it. Okay. Um, try natural arousal boosters. So I love the on arousal oil. We've talked about it before. You can apply that to the clitoris, especially in those times when you're just high stress and you're like, I am really trying to like relieve some stress and fiddle the bean, but I'm just not feeling it. Like putting something on like that really helps. Okay. So your body's gonna get there faster when life is taking the energy from you. So it's not cheating, it's biology, work with it and it's super clean. It's a great product, okay? Mindful masturbation. So you want to remove orgasm is the destination entirely. I say this when it comes to sex too. So many people are like focused on the finish, and I'm like, it's the leading up part that's the best, okay? Just focus on the just touch sensation, just presence. The orgasm often arrives when it stops being the finish point, okay? And even if it doesn't, mindful self-touch still does delivers the nervous system benefits. The journey counts, okay? So here is your masturbation may challenge. Now that we've learned a little bit about masturbation, we got some scientific facts, we got some tips to try. Um, I want you to masturbate once a day for seven days. That's it. I want to I want you all to just like own masturbation may and really jump in head first, okay? So not as a performance, not to hit a number, just as practice, just learning your body, trying new things. Maybe you try a new toy during it, you try a different stimulation, okay? As a commitment to your own pleasure being on the priority list, not at the bottom, okay? So if seven days feels like too much, start with three. If three feels impossible, start with one today. Actually, why are you listening to this? Go masturbate, but don't masturbate while you're listening to me that we're listening to this because that just got weird. Unless you're weird. Just kidding. Okay. So, and DM me. Tell me that you took the challenge, tell me what you discovered. Let me know if you have questions. I'm just here to help everybody celebrate masturbation May. Okay. So we're going to some D meet DMs with masturbation May because I get a lot of questions about masturbating. So, first question is I am genuinely embarrassed to admit this, but I'm 41 years old and have never masturbated. I have heard this one too many times. I grew up being taught it was wrong and I just never started. Am I too old to begin? No, you're never too old, okay? You're exactly right on time because you're listening to this and you're gonna go masturbate when we're done, okay? So it's not too late to show up for it. You don't have to do anything drastic. Like I said above in the tips, start with touch, start with curiosity, learn your body. It'll thank you, okay? It's not too late to show up for it. Give yourself one quiet hour, no destination. What you discover will change how you understand yourself alone. And if you're in a relationship, how you show up in the bedroom with your partner too. Okay. So DM number two is every time I try to masturbate, I get completely in my head. I start thinking about my to-do list or feeling guilty or wondering if I'm doing it right. How do I actually stay present? So I hear this a lot, and this isn't like a you problem. A lot of people deal with this. Life is just chaotic, and we have so many distractions. Okay. So this is a nervous system problem. Your brain has been trained to stay busy and stay vigilant. So it does not know how to rest into pleasure yet. So start up setting up your environment properly, phone away, lights down. Um then you let your thoughts come and they will. Don't fight them. Just notice them and come back to what you're feeling in your body. Or use them as leverage. So this idea just popped in my head. Let's say you're thinking about doing the dishes. So now why don't you create a fantasy in your brain that while you're doing the dishes in only your apron, your man comes home and bends you over the counter, and now you're masturbating thinking about that. Like, that's hot. Like, I will do the dirty dishes. Let's go. Okay. So use your thoughts and lead them into a fantasy, okay? So, damn number three, my husband masturbates every day, and I find out because he's never in the mood for sex with me. When I bring it up, he gets defensive. Is this a problem? So solo pleasure and partner pleasure should coexist, okay? Um, they shouldn't compete with each other. If his masturbation is consistently replacing your intimacy, you're not connecting, you're not having those intimate moments together, it's gonna be worth a real conversation. Not about what he's doing wrong, but about what you both need, okay? I notice we haven't been intimate, and I miss you would be a great way to deliver that. Is better opener than you masturbate too much. Okay. Start with the connection, find out what's underneath the performance, like the preference for solo. Okay. That's usually where the real answer lives, and it just comes back to what I always say, and it's communication is key. You have to communicate, okay? So this week on Covet This, um, I picked a couple products because it is masturbation May, and I refuse to leave anyone out. So for her, is the new Sensuel newbie turbo. So this is like a bullet, okay. Gems, it has like a gemstone design. It's got seven speeds, building from slow, luxurious teasing into full body omg moment. The reason I picked this, it's got the XLR8 turbo boost. Um, it's perfect for a beginner and also a veteran, okay? Because when you're new to masturbating and you don't know where to start, you showing up with a triple pronged like rabbit toy that does 18,000 things is not the play. Okay, but starting out with a good just little vibe that can be used internally or externally, definitely the play, okay? So um, it literally has that motor. It's a flexible silicone that moves with your body, it's rechargeable, it's beautiful, it's the perfect companion for your masturbation. May practice. Castyb.com. You will find that. Um, if I remember, I will link it in the show notes. I always forget to do that. Sorry, I'll work on that. Okay, for him is the jetpack, okay, that I literally have talked about before, but it's freaking amazing. And we're talking about it again. Auto stroking masturbator with up to nine centimeters of stroke depth, seven speed levels, and an app that syncs with adult content. So you can literally feel what's happening on the screen. So you could send him a video or he can watch one. Yeah. Okay. Two hours of runtime, five star reviews, the next generation of male pleasure. Okay. So both are awesome. Or you could go with something like the Trifecta, which is just a um, it's not like a computerized masturbator, it's just like a just a manual masturbator. That's another good one. Okay, so like always, I share a law of Cassidy. So this week's law is pleasure is not a luxury. It is not a reward for something you've earned. It is not a treat for good behavior, it is not something to be squeezed into the margins of your life when everything else is handled. It is a basic human need, okay? You are human and May is giving you a whole damn month to remember that. So know your body, tend to your pleasure, take the challenge, close the door. The vain ones don't wait for permission, okay? But in case you needed it, I'm giving you permission right now. That's the law. Go masturbate. It's masturbate may, okay? So happy masturbation may. I mean that with my whole heart. Take the seven day challenge, DM me with your wince, shop the links in the show notes. And if this episode episode gave someone in your life permission they've been waiting for, send it to them anonymously if you need to. I'll never tell. Okay. So I'm Cassidy. This is the Law of Cassidy. I'll see you next week.