18 Controversial Intimacy Takes — Agree, Disagree, or Hard Disagree

I found a list of 18 of the most controversial sex and intimacy opinions on the internet… and I have FEELINGS about every single one. In this solo quickie, I'm going through all 18 — agree, disagree, hard disagree — and giving you the raw, real conversation behind each take. Some I defend completely. Some I'll fight you on. And at least one is going to make you spiral (looking at you, "doggy style is the worst").

We talk about:
👄 Kissing during sex — connection or distraction?
👄 The truth about size vs. technique
👄 Why 75% of women can't orgasm from penetration alone (and why that's totally normal)
👄 Morning sex — gross, or secretly the best time?
👄 Mutual masturbation as the ultimate communication tool
👄 Doggy, missionary & reverse cowgirl — it's a technique problem, not a position problem
👄 Dirty talk done right vs. very, very wrong
👄 The shower-sex fantasy vs. the reality
👄 Toys in partnered play — threat or teammate?
👄 Anal play done the RIGHT way
👄 Why your orgasm shouldn't always be the goal
👄 Whether being in love actually makes sex better

The throughline? There's no universal right answer when it comes to intimacy. What's incredible to you might be terrible to someone else — and the only way to find out what actually works for you and your partner is to TALK ABOUT IT.

Play along: pause it, decide where YOU stand, then DM me which opinions you agreed with and which ones made you spiral. 💬

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Welcome to The Law of Cassidy — intimacy, business, personal growth, power, and healing. The conversations most people aren't comfortable having, served straightforward, raw, and real.

Transcript

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All right, guys, we are back, and today is a quickie with just me. I know we've had a lot of those lately, but they're good. So I found a list of 18 controversial sex opinions, and I have feelings about all of them, and I thought it'd be fun to share them with you. So some of these I agree with I agree with completely. Some of these are gonna make me defend something most people would never like admit, but you know me, I'm always raw, real, and honest. And we're gonna go through all 18: agree, disagree, hard disagree, and the real conversation behind each one. It's a quickie. Welcome to the lab, Cassidy, where we talk intimacy, business, personal growth, power, healing, and the conversations most people are not comfortable having. And I'm giving them straightforward, raw, and real to you. I'm Cassidy. I'm an entrepreneur, a wife, and a mom who has spent nearly two decades talking about intimacy and wellness. If someone sent this to you, you are in the right place. This one's for the vain ones. Let's get into it. So here's how this is going to work. I'm going to read each opinion out loud. These are real things, real people submitted about sex, and I'm going to tell you exactly where I stand with it. My thoughts, my tips, my tricks, whatever. Okay. Agree, disagree, or the more complicated answer. You're going to get a little bit of everything. And I want you to play along, pause it, think about where you would stand. I love it when you guys send me DMs and texts letting me know you enjoyed an episode or your thoughts on this or that or all the things. So we are going to get into it. So, number one is a hot take is that kissing during sex isn't enjoyable. It's distracting, and kissing with tongue is disgusting. So that's a hard disagree for me. Kissing during intimacy, it's like just more connection. And I think people just think like kissing on your mouth is there's so many other areas you can be kissing. Okay. It's what separates sex from transaction, I feel like. So now technique does matter if you are kissing someone who sucks at kissing, then it could totally affect what's going on with the whole intimacy dynamic. But this is there's like such a thing as too much aggressive or like no rhythm, or I you know, you know, you know, right? We've all had the bad kisser, and you're like, what is happening? I literally am getting a mouthful of what the hell. But don't let that ruin you in the future for new experiences. But I definitely am pro-kissing, pro-connection, but there definitely are bad kissers. So I could see why somebody would be like, Yeah, hard no, but I'm definitely um pro kissing during sex, and it is enjoyable. And it's like part of the foreplay. I think it's weird when people are like having sex, and what do you do? You're just staring at each other, you're just like bumping uglies and you're not even kissing. Like, it's a little weird, okay. So, opinion number two anal sex can be just as enjoyable as vaginal sex. I'm straight female, and if you do it right, it can be the best. I completely agree with this one. So I talk about butt stuff all the time, okay? And there's like clusters of nerve endings backdoor, just like your clitoris has nerve endings. And I think backdoor has like this stigma. I keep saying backdoor because I'm so used to creating content, but has this stigma about it or you had a bad experience. Usually people have bad experiences with backdoor play because they didn't do it right. So, you know, if a dude just totally just slams it into you without any lube, without the proper, you know, foreplay, you're not a lot relaxed, you're not aroused in other areas, yeah, you're gonna be like, huh, never again. Okay. So I did a whole episode on this on anal sex. So go back and listen, watch. Keyword is preparation, lube, warm-up, sloke, and consent and communication. So there's nothing worse than oops, wrong hole, right? So I think it's enjoyable if you, you know, are aroused in other areas. So maybe you've been giving him a blow job and you stimulate um his taint, taint your your booty, taint your balls, that little area, that perineum like area. Um, there's tons of nerve endings there for him. So I call it knuckling, like doing the little knuckle sensation right there. Um, while you're giving him a blowjob or a hand job, or with her, maybe like starting with like clitoral stimulation or while you're like eating her out, like stimulating the area. I love a good butt plug. We have the one, um, I call it bang. The code word is bang. So just go comment on any of my videos and say bang and you'll get the link for it. But it actually vibrates and moves up and down. So having that in while you're having intercourse or while you are stimulating other areas, it's gonna be a yes, you guys. It's gonna be a yes. And if you're like, I don't know, it also prepares for actual anal sex. So maybe it's just anal play that you're wanting to try. But yes, I completely agree. If it is done right, you can enjoy it, especially if you're actually having anal sex and you're stimulating your clitoris with the toy, real good. So slow and steady wins the race, and you gotta let your body adapt and you gotta use lots of lube. But my vote is definitely um a yes on that. Okay. Opinion number three: doggy style is the worst position. There's nothing sexy about someone slamming their dick into my cervix. Man, some of these just is they're coming straight for the jugular. Okay, so this is a technique problem, not a position problem. So doggy style done right is not service, cervix destruction. Okay. The angle, the depth, the speed, all is adjustable. The receiving partner is the CEO of that position. So even like tilting your booty like up a little bit, maybe not being on your hands and knees and getting down on your elbows can make all the difference. Um, and if he's just slamming it and not caring about any other areas, then we have a problem. And that is a whole nother episode of how to stimulate your partner and do everything the right way and not be a selfish lover. Like, I don't know, maybe I'll call it that. I don't know. But um the receiving partner, like I said, is the CEO. If someone is just slamming away with no attention to how you're responding, not good. Okay. The lack of communication is essential, and there are different things that can help you hit the right angle. So I am pro doggy style. Um, a lot of dudes love it. I mean, it's great to have a little butt plug in while you're doing doggy style too. That's a great um piggybacking off of the previous hot take. Um, they have fun ones that look like flowers or light up. Like that's just hot. Like, dudes are into that. Okay. So yeah, so I'm I'm definitely um gonna disagree with the doggy style being the worst. I just don't think the technique is there or the communication. Okay, opinion number four. Sex does doesn't have to be about making each other come, it's about feeling good and taking care of each other. So I agree completely. I think too many people are so focused on the finish, they're so focused on getting there that they miss the whole moment of getting there. I think the floor play and during the deed and that connection um is the best. Like leading up to it, the tease, the like intensity, all of that. So this is one of the most freeing things that you can internalize about sex when orgasm isn't the only goal. So everything becomes performance-oriented and the actual experience gets lost. So I'm just pro being in the moment and figuring out figuring out ways to connect more on a deeper level and trying new things before you're to that final goal. Okay. Um, opinion five. Morning sex is gross. Does nobody have morning breath? Does nobody wake up sweaty? So uh, my personal opinion on morning sex, which I've shared before, it isn't my favorite, okay? I'm tired, I feel like my breath stinks. I just, but I did share in a previous episode the importance of if you've got kids and you set an alarm, wake up before them, and that's the time you bang it out, you're gonna have a great day. Like to each their own. My husband, like you said in the last episode, he will have it any time of the day. I mean, I feel like he leans more morning, but who knows? But um morning sex can actually be the best times biologically. Testosterone's the highest in the morning for both men and women. You're well rested. I mean, I am not a morning person, so I don't ever feel I'm like, I don't want to get up. But um, there's no like to-do list yet. You're not overwhelmed with the day. Um, the morning quickie is a legitimate intimacy strategy. Now, morning breath is real. So maybe keep some water on the nightstand. I mean, maybe some mints. I don't know. I that's something that bugs me is I'm like, oh, I just feel like I'm worried about that. Um, or you can brush your teeth first if you need to, but writing off an entire time of day because of fixable logistics is leaving a lot of good sex on the table. So I need to be more open to it, but I'm definitely not a morning person, but it is a great time. Science proves it. Okay. All right, opinion number six. Mutual masturbation is kind of great. Struggling to make each other orgasm doesn't mean your relationship is a failure. So I am a hard agree. I think this should be like if there was a school of sex, right? And we all had to go through like training or classes. I mean, when you get a degree, you gotta do the math, you gotta do the English, all the things. I think in the school of sex, to have the best sex life ever. Look at me creating something. I don't have time to create anything else. Let's be serious. I am not creating a school of sex. I mean, it sounds cool, but you guys, I didn't got I ain't got time. But if I was, it would be um mutual masturbation because I think it's so funny. We like are in these committed relationships, whether you're married or you've been together for years, and you can't talk about sex. Like you can't be like, hey, I really would like it if you moaned in my ear, or hey, I really would like it if you'd squeeze my you like feel uncomfortable saying it. So this is where I love mutual masturbation because you just let him prop himself comfortably and you just start showing him what you like, the speed, and you know, some of you are people, which I think is actual insane, and you belong in a straight jacket. I hate that shit. Um, so some people we each have our own opinions, some people are just a light, which I am like, can we get this party started? I'm definitely a level 10, all the pressure. So where are my jackhammer girls at? But you can be showing your partner, like, and this is a true fact too. I've talked about it in my content. Some women lean more on the left side of the clitoris or the right, okay? Um, and then he can show you too, because there's a technique that he's he likes, right? The the squeeze, the pull, the all of it. So mutual masturbation really helps you open up how to communicate because all y'all cannot communicate with your partner that you just want to stick something in his butt or vice versa, okay? And if this can help you ease into that, I am pro mutual masturbation. I think it should be part of your curriculum for the best sex of your life. Save that quote for later. Okay. Opinion seven: using toys with a partner makes sex so much more fun and can almost guarantee an orgasm for myself. I absolutely agree on this. And just because you can't orgasm during sex doesn't mean your partner sucks. 75% of women can't. 75%. Everybody write that down. 75% of women cannot orgasm just during penetrative sex. Okay. So this is where the toys come in. So 20 years in this industry, I will say this until I can't anymore. Toys are not replacement for a partner, they're an addition, they are tag teammates, they are a must-have, okay? And that they're the things that literally fingers and bodies just can't do sometimes. And a partner who feels threatened by a toy is a partner who doesn't understand anatomy. That's what it comes down to, okay? And this is where when I've talked about porn before, no shame on the porn industry, to each their own. I think this is where it blindly like leads people in the wrong direction because you watch this porno and this girl, and like there's a lot of squirting and things happening. It's like realistically, no. Okay, she's an actress, that's not happening. Okay, we need toys, we need all that stuff. So nobody feels bad about having a blender in the kitchen. Same freaking energy. So load up on all the toys and per us, if you need good ones, just go to castybi.com. Thank me later. Okay. All right. Opinion eight. Sex that lasts long isn't better. My vagina is tired, please. I actually agree with this, okay? You get to a point where you are raw dogging it too much, okay? You are tired, especially if there's been drinking involved. Have you ever had those marathon moments where you're like your face is smushed into the like pillow and you're like, are we done yet? Your head's like hitting. Yeah, no. Sometimes too long is too long, right? So duration is not a measure of quality. A 20-minute session that is present, intentional, and communication is happening is better than an hour of someone performing stamina for their own ego. Okay, and vaginas get tired, bodies get tired, penises get tired, all the things. So, um, also natural lubrication has an actual timeline and friction has consequences. Longer is not always better, better is better. Okay, and how do we become better? By, you know, learning our bodies, our partners' bodies, having those hard conversations. Okay. Number nine, reverse cowgirl isn't much fun. I feel like I have no idea how my guy is feeling. I get bored and my legs get tired. I saw the funniest piece of content my girlfriend, Stephanie Hickey, put out. And it literally was like, reverse cowgirl is no fun. You're enjoying the view, and I'm just watching your toes like give me gang signs. I literally laughed out loud because that's literally like the view you're getting. Um, I like reverse cowgirl. I mean, there's fun ways to spice it up a little bit. The angle's good, especially if you lean back a little bit. Lean back, lean back. I'm gonna tell my production to put that song in there in that moment. Just kidding. But yeah, so um I'm pro reverse cowgirl, but do what you like, okay? So, opinion 10 bigger penises aren't better. I prefer average sized, big enough to get the job done, but not too big that it hurts. So I agree with this, and me and Josh actually just talked about this in the last episode. Um, I want to say this clearly to every man who has anxiety about this. Size is significantly less important than the technique. Okay. So attention, communication, knowing your partner's body, the vaginal canal is on average three to six inches. So most sensation is in the first, like third part. That's why when I talk about stimulating that area, that's why, like, right as you start to go in, lady, like right as the penis starts to go in or the toy starts to go in, it like feels really good and then like gets past that like threshold. There's lots of nerve endings in that area. So we don't need to be massive, we just need to have good technique, which you can learn that from me and listening to this and all my content. So I agree with opinion number 10. Okay. Opinion number 11 69 is a terrible position. I don't want to work while I'm being worked on. I do agree with this. I know don't hate me. I have ADD though, which we're gonna talk about that in an episode coming up. Like, so I can't focus on being present on enjoying uh the greatness that's happening to me while I'm doing something. That's just an ADD thing. But people love this, right? It's like you're all up in, you're connected. So this one splits people, like people love it or they hate it. I get both sides for some people. The actual giving and receiving at the same time is the appeal, um, the shared experience, equal energy. For others, it splits the focus, which that is me. I I can't. It's just squirrel, can't do it. So, you know, some people have had life-changing 69 experiences and they deserve to be heard, but I am not, it's not, it's not, it's not for me, but to each their own. Okay. Um, opinion number 12: Dirty Talk isn't hot. I will literally tell someone to shut up. That is really dumb. That's a dumb opinion. Who wrote these? That's really stupid because I mean, how many of you have opened a text message and it's been spicy and you've been in public and like the bits are doing things that have they haven't happened in a while, you know? Like that feeling we used to get like making out gene rubbing on the couch like in junior high or high school, or I don't know, some of you maybe have been hoes earlier, I don't know. But like just reading it, like that's why people read books. That's why I have the whole strategy behind my brand without spilling too much. It's coming. I know I keep in saying that, you guys, this has been the longest journey, but I promise it's coming. Um, but yeah, I am pro dirty talk, but it can be done wrong. Like you could go too vulgar too fast, or you could be too awkward. So, I mean, I do have a sexting guide that's free on my site. So if you go to any like piece of content and just comment the word sexting, you'll get it. But um, I do have also like sexting stuff you can purchase on my site with like I think there's like 300 ideas or something. Um, just because you kind of gotta learn how to do it, right? You don't just want to be like, I wanna bang you now, right? Like, that's not hot. Like being descriptive and like talking about body parts and like feelings and connections. Like, I think dirty talk is hot, okay, but it can be done wrong, and that's where you buy my sexting guide, and then you learn a little bit, and then you kind of like graduate into sexting and you know, or dirty talk, okay? But I'm pro like secting and the dirty talk, I'm here for it, but it can ruin a mood if it's terrible. Just saying, okay. Okay, um, opinion 13th. It's so funny. I was just talking about gene rubbing and I did not know this was the next one. Dry humping is highly underrated. Um, I underrated, I highly agree. I also want to acknowledge that we need a better word for this because dry humping sounds like something in middle school. We could say gene rubbing, I don't know. But um, what we're actually talking about is clothed or semi-clothed, friction-based stimulation. And it's genuinely fantastic because it's like leading to more and it's fun and it's spicy. And I mean, there's something hot about like ripping each other's clothes off, right? Or like, nope, we can't yet. Nope, we can't. It's like building up the suspension. So I agree. Dry humping is highly underrated. Pro gene rubbin. Where are my gene rubbers out? Yes, or leggings, I don't care, whatever it is. Okay. Opinion 14 outdoor sex is usually uncomfortable and awkward. There are mosquitoes, sand, scratchy grass, and sunburns on parts that don't usually see the sunlight. It's the mosquito detail that's sending me, honestly. Like, agree. Logistics of outdoor sex. No. Like, I'm sorry. Like, there's been times I've been out with Josh while he's preparing for a hunt, and I'm like, I just can't do it on the log. It's just not there, right? I do not want bark up my ass, like hard pass, okay? Um, but some people like it in the sand. I do not want to have my vagina exfoliated, so to each their own. Um, but it is kind of hot. Maybe you got like this cool room. I mean, we've done that, right? It has like a little private, you can just bend her over that safety first. But um, but the outdoor element is about the novelty of it, so you can be creative with it and make it comfortable. We don't want to be discomfortable, but I definitely am not, I don't love outdoor sex unless it's the right situation. Don't want to sand up my butt or bark or any of that. So, and the mosquitoes. I agree with that. Okay, opinion 15. Spit is a total turnoff. I find spitting on body parts to be absolutely repulsive. This is a preference, but I am gonna agree with that. There's just too many good products, but some people are into it. Okay. Spit as lubrication is one of the things that has been normalized by the porn industry and it doesn't translate well into real life for most people. It is not a practical lube. There's a lot of bacteria. Um, and if your partner's into it and you're not, this is a conversation you need to have outside of the bedroom. Okay. Um, consent applies to everything, including the unexpected additions. So I say it all the time. I mean, I shot a video kind of pop off and do really well where I literally said spit is not loop because there's so many great options. Clean, natural options. Not a spit person. Sorry. Okay, 16. Missionary is underrated and it's the most intimate position. Lots of body contact. You can kiss, you can see each other's faces. So I completely agree. I think people thinking missionary is boring and ain't it, is because they're not doing it right. There's so many options just with normal missionary. Okay. Um, missionary gets written off as vanilla, and I think it says more about the people's relationship with intimacy than it does about the position. I mean, if you're just like laying there like a beached well and he's just pounding it out and then you're done, yeah. Not very fun, okay. So you've got some face-to-face, you've got some eye contact, the full body contact. I mean, you can nibble on an ear, kiss a neck, like moan in an ear, like there's lots of touching. Um, you just haven't experienced it the right way if you don't enjoy it, and try it with the lights on. Only make eye contact. I know some people like are awkward about that. I'm like, you're actually having sex, like, make eye contact. That's hot, okay? Um, try those things and let me know if it's actually boring because I don't think it will be because you just haven't added a little spice. So opinion 17. Shower sex actually isn't that sexy, it washes away natural lubrication and you get cold easily. Pre-sex showering together is great though. I mostly agree on this. The fantasy of shower sex and the reality of shower sex are very different experiences. First and foremost, you have to have lube. I know it seems weird in water. You would think you would be lubricated. It actually dries everything up. You need a lube that is silicone. But here is my warning for you, okay? The shower can become very slippery with silicone lube. Um, we built a bench in our shower, it wasn't just for shaving, okay? So I highly suggest that. The thing we run into sometimes is I like my water scalding hot. Like, I am like, I get out of the shower and my whole body's red. Josh literally showers in cold water. I'm like, what are you doing? Like it is lukewarm. I'm like, what is this? So he gets too hot. So that's usually our dynamic. But shower sex can be very enjoyable. You just need the right things. So pre-sex shower together is fun, sensory, intimate, especially if maybe you're gonna go down the path of like some anal stuff and you just want everyone to be clean. It's a good choice. Okay. Um, opinion 18. Being in love doesn't necessarily make sex better. I've had great sex with one night stands. Um, I can't agree, and I think it's important to say because the narrative that sex is only meaningful or good within romantic love is one that has shamed a lot of people, especially like I was raised in a state that literally said you cannot have sex till you're married. Um, but connection enhances sex, safety enhances sex, chemistry enhances sex. Love can provide all those things, but so can genual mutual attraction, trust, communication with someone. Um, so I'm I'm gonna agree on the both sides of the dynamic here, and I never want to like judge people, right? Like to each their own and enjoy what you enjoy. And these were my little like hot takes. Let me know your thoughts. I just kind of wanted to whiz through them and give my opinion because I get a lot of questions. So um, this week's Covet This is inspired directly by opinion seven about toys part toys make partnered sex better. And opinion six that mutual masturbation is wildly underrated. So there is a bullet vibrator called the Nikita. It has seven speeds, um, XLR8 turbo boost for a full body like moment. So if you are a jackhammer girl like me, it's got the speed. This toy you bring into partnered play, this is what you hand to your partner and say, use this on me. Um, this is what you use while they watch. This is a mutual masturbation tool that teaches your partner exactly what works for you with out of work or like they can figure it out pretty easily. It's just like a simple like vibe, beautiful enough to leave on the nightstand, too. It's power enough to mean business. So um, cassidyb.com is where you're gonna find it. It's called the Nikita Bullet. So back to the law of Cassidy, like we always do. And I didn't do any DMs because these hot tanks were all part of that. So 18 opinions, and here's what all of them have in common. There's no universal right answer in sex. So what works for one person may not work for another. What feels incredible to you may be terrible to someone else. And the only way you ever figure out what you actually like and what actually works for you and your partner, for the two of you together, is to freaking talk about it. So I say this all the time: talk about it, talk about it, talk about it. You can't assume, you can't perform, you can't silently endure things you hate while hoping they stop. That's not fun. Talk about it. The vain ones say the thing in the bedroom and everywhere else. That is the law, that's your quickie, 18 opinions, some I agree with, some fights, and hopefully at least one conversation you're gonna have in your relationship tonight. DM me which ones you agreed with and which ones made you spiral. I want to know everything and share this with someone who would maybe have some strong feelings about what we talked about. And until next time, I'm Cassidy, and this is the Law of Cassidy.