The Lipstick Alchemists
We help ambitious women that are ready to stop playing it safe and start living in alignment.
The Lipstick Alchemists
The Money Beliefs Quietly Controlling Your Life
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You didn’t choose your money mindset—you inherited it.
In this episode, we unpack how subconscious beliefs formed in childhood quietly shape your financial decisions today… and how the very beliefs that once kept you safe may now be keeping you stuck.
Through personal stories, we explore the hidden narratives around money, success, and motherhood—and how rewriting those beliefs can unlock a more aligned, abundant, and purposeful life.
Because the truth?
You don’t need to choose between success and fulfillment—you just need to choose a new story.
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Welcome to the Lipstick Alchemist, the podcast for ambitious women ready to stop playing it safe and start living in alignment. We'll explore the mindset shifts, the soul nudges, and awaken the version of you you were always meant to be.
SPEAKER_02Okay, we're back. Talk about all those mindset things. Mindset things. But before we do that, I need to talk about this new gene trend of the game. I don't know that it's new. I think we were just pretty late to the party. Okay, but does anyone understand that these look like they're supposed to be very nonchalant and loose and that are the tightest things ever? I can barely breathe. I'm trying to seem real cash in my jeans. It's very Brenda Walsh, Beverly Hills 90210. I did not realize that I couldn't. I love Lisa Kelly. I and my butt is squished down like a pancake. So if I look tense during the episode, it's because these nonchalant jeans are. Okay, which is and we match though.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, if you can't see us, you're really missing out. You should go hop on YouTube. We're twinning.
SPEAKER_02Anyway, back to financial mindset. They also were much more expensive than Levi's jeans. So we'll talk about spending on clothes later. Um, so we are so we're coming back to just financial mindset and what that means to the purpose of our podcast, which is women stepping into and and not just women, people, getting to a certain place and then feeling struggling that to step into their next purpose and really not wondering, kind of having that crisis of being like, okay, I've done everything right, I'm successful, I have a good family. I've checked all the boxes, yeah, the things I wanted. Why do I still feel unsettled or dissatisfied? And you're, you know, a lot of times people start, that's when you see them start to dwindle down in their life. They're not giving back in the way they should. They're not even really as present in their life in any aspect as they were when they were chasing that. And, you know, like we talked about in our last episode, a lot of that is tied to their mindset around money. And I know it seems strange, but I'm gonna we'll give a few examples today, and hopefully that will help people listening understand that, you know, how their mindset around money served them or isn't. And once you, it's kind of like any kind of therapy where you're like, oh, my, you know, I wish I loved myself more at this age, or what I would say, fat kid through um junior high. Just talking to myself, sorry, that was me. My own traumas. Um, once you look at where that trauma is coming from, that's really all you need to do is say, Oh, I learned this belief system through this. I see it. Is that what today, you know, at 47 years old, I believe to be true around money? And and if so, great, keep on, do the damn thing.
SPEAKER_00If not, and let us know because we'd love to learn what you what magic you had up your sleeve, because 99.9% of the people out there are not even operating nor even thinking that this is a thing, but it is.
SPEAKER_02So let's talk through those different mindsets that we addressed as the last episode and kind of how those play out in you know the stage where you're trying to explore that next journey for yourself. And why don't we start with just um we'll start with hypervigilance, which is what we talked about with yours. Yeah. And maybe you could share a little bit about your journey and kind of how that belief system that was serving you didn't at a certain point.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, so I think like I shared on the last episode, the way that I grew up, just watching my dad, who was the main, you know, the breadwinner of the family. My mom's got to stay home with us, which is what I always thought I wanted to do. But I found myself in the working world and ended up being the breadwinner of our family. Um, and was just kind of ho-humming along, right? Climbing the corporate ladder, checking all the boxes, doing the things that I was gonna be in my career for 30 years, just like my dad did. Cause that's how you say, that's how you achieve those things that you wanted. Um, but I found myself getting to a point where I was like, ooh, like this is what I'm gonna be doing for the next 20 years. And um, and I think where I found myself was in a place of one kind of questioning what is my purpose? And is this the journey that I am just supposed to stay on? But I think in the back of my mind was what we were talking about, which was there's no way in hell I can stop doing what I'm doing. Like I'm the one I've got now kids. Um, like we go on trips again. We have we've been able to pay off our car, we've been able to do all these things because both of us were working, but also because I was making a little more income. So I had a, I had everything great. I had the things that I think most of our listeners have. Like you've truly you've got what you've wanted, um, but you still find yourself in a place of like, oh, is this it? And so for me, it was the I was willing to keep the safety in security, um to not really chase maybe what my purpose or should have been or was. I I just knew for me it was at that time more important to just stay safe and keep ho-humming along, like I said before.
SPEAKER_02And I think that is okay. I think that's a big part of you know, people who who are high achievers, it's okay to we all want safety. Nobody wants to, you know, be with the person or be the person who works so hard and then is like, let me just bet it all on, you know, black jinx, yeah, jinx you come. It's also like how can how is that belief around safety? So to me, when I hear your story, I think the belief is if staying in a position where I know I don't belong is better than you know, believing that I can do something else and failing.
SPEAKER_00The only thing holding me back was the fear. And when I had that moment, I was like, well, that's stupid. And I can't make a decision just because I'm scared that I'm gonna fail and I'm gonna screw my family over. Like, had I not done that, like I'm I'm literally living the life of my dreams. I'm doing the work that I'm so passionate about, and it's having a bigger impact on my community, my family, and the people that I get to serve every day. So it's like we have to flip that script too to say, like the money mindset is what was holding me back from making the decision that ultimately led me to live out my bigger, my purpose even bigger. So it's just, it's, it's kind of wild that way.
SPEAKER_02I I think that's such a good example. And I think I can even think of ones the other way, and then I'd love to share my own, which I think is sort of opposed to yours, but was holding you back in the same way. But I think even um for dads, let's say, who are were raised knowing that like the man is the breadwinner, I need to be the provider of the family. And they get to a certain place where they're like, I don't want to do this, I want to be home with my kids. But the belief is real men go to work every day and they provide for their family. That's a mindset to say, okay, sitting where I sit, do I believe that only real men go and and earn money every day? Are we in the 1920s where we're working coal mines? Like, of course that's not true. Some of the most impactful, you know, being a dad is and staying home is the most impactful work you can do. But I think vice versa. If you're um a you know, high-level professional and you feel like I don't want to do this anymore, I want to go travel. You know, people who travel and and don't have that high achieving mindset, my worth is tied to how successful I am. Those are the beliefs that you're trying to look in the face to say, why at this level do I believe that only successful people do this? Or I'm a bad dad if I don't provide. Of course not. When you look the belief in the face, it's actually really ridiculous and hilarious. But those are the subconscious things that are holding you back.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And pulling those out and looking at them are the biggest things. And I'll share one of mine. I I was raised, you know, very middle class. My mom was a nurse, my dad um was an engineer. We lived on a farm. I raised hogs to pay for my college. Yeah, I was just gonna say as you guys might see. Uh Eddie Vash about our hog years and years ago. A little claim to fame. Don't signatures after the podcast, please. Um, but I, my mom later in life, when my sister and I were in college, started to have huge success. Um, actually, uh, I guess it was when we were in junior high, really started to chase her professional dreams. So she was done being a nurse. It was too hard on her body, and she started recruiting nurses and really ended up being a very successful example. Like a top dog. Yes, if successful executive. But that of course required trade-offs in our family where my dad had to step up more and she became gone longer and and was chasing that dream. And it led to a mindset of in order to have a successful career, I'm gonna be around my kids less. Like I'm trading off my money for my family.
SPEAKER_00Do you think that mindset was just something you observed and that was your perception, or was it something she kind of taught, like they taught you?
SPEAKER_02I think it was, as many women do, a narrative that she was using to help herself feel better. And I think it it wasn't true at all, first of all, is the biggest thing. My mom was at every single game we ever were ever in. She was very present and she worked her balls off, her girl balls off, but she did not, but she was for everything. She was the most present parent ever, and she there wasn't she made dinner every night. I don't know how she did it, but she would what exactly did your dad does. I know like where was he helping out? Oh, yeah, never like most men never. Sorry, just kidding, just kidding, melodies. Um, but she she um would tell us, you know, I'm working so hard, I can't do like in her mind. I think she was explaining away things that we didn't, we wouldn't even have known were missing. Yeah. And because of her narrative, not what I was actually observing as a as a daughter, I thought, okay, she's busy, she's stressed out, she's got a lot of things she's doing, she's barely holding on, and it's because she's, you know, providing for our family. But when the reality she was there for everything, but that put a money mindset in my head that I think really carried through to say I can have money or I can be a successful um professional, but I can't have both. When really nothing in even my experience was telling me that it was truly the narrative that she was pulling out from. And think of what that does to somebody who, you know, think of how many amazing parents are CEOs and and um, you know, running giant businesses and they do it on their terms and they're amazing moms. And think of how many shitty moms don't work at all. Like it's just it's the mindset is completely ridiculous and not aligned at all, but it sure as fuck will hold you back from reaching your purpose. And how scary is that that you could believe something that's not even true or your reality, and that is guiding it.
SPEAKER_00And it was something that was handed down to you. What did I what's the phrase I always forget because I'm terrible at this thing's um beliefs are caught, not taught. I love that's so like you catch it just from what you observe often out there, you know, when you're little, like before the age seven, I think they say is typically when um that subconscious belief is formed. So literally we could be like four years old operating in some world, and now we're still out there in our 40s carrying on like a little four-year-old, like that's creepy.
SPEAKER_02It is, and and but your outcome at whatever stage you're at is showing you that belief system. So I think let me give an example. If you're somebody who has been middle management forever, and it's because you keep getting passed over because there was somebody else that came in out of nowhere, somebody not qualified, other people are better kissing up more than you are, you're not playing the game. All of those things that have kept you stuck, that is the evidence of your life or your lack of advancement or or growth is painfully enough mirroring back to you what you believe about yourself. And it's financial to say, you know, I'd love to be a senior manager too, but I'm not willing to play the game. Okay. Is it true? Or do you is there a money mindset saying people who compromise their values are the only ones that can succeed? Um, I'm a I'm a uh, you know, kiss ass if I if I buy into something that that is and is that true? Or are there people ascending to the highest levels that hold true to their beliefs? And and when you have to look that in the eye and explain why you're sitting in the space and it's because of your mindset, it's a a hard, hard work to do. But I think that is step one to say, if I'm not living in joy, what is the financial mindset? And I think fine I only emphasize the financial piece because I think high-level moms that want to step back, my value is dependent on how successful I am. Is that true? Those are the mindsets that keep you stuck and keep you so unhappy and and um and kind of let you dwindle in your later years. So I think it always starts with your financial and your your money mindset beliefs.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and so I feel like where it's like once you've done done the work to to examine the beliefs that you have, what were the examples from when you were younger? How what are the behaviors, kind of all like what we talked about in that last episode? I think the next step is really figuring out like who is it that you want to become? So, you know, as we've talked about, this the audience that we want to serve are high achieving women who've likely checked all the boxes that we've talked about. Um, so now's the time to say, okay, what do what have I believed? Is it true or not? Like you were saying, and now figure out what who is it that you are trying to become? Like what is your destiny? Sit there and I want to do a whole other episode. I'm so passionate about visioning. Um, but take a minute to just think about like who are you wanting to become? What is that next version of you? What does she have? What does she look like? And what does she believe about money? And I think that's just a good, a good next step to kind of figure out um, how do we again change that script a little bit to help you elevate and and alchemize into who you're meant to be. Yes.
SPEAKER_02And I think after after you look at that next, a lot of it does start with, you know, try trying to drop all realism and truly like sitting with yourself and saying, okay, it is five years from now. Am I and I think a lot of women, you know, you're either in your mind going up or down. Like you're starting an Etsy shop or you're starting a band that's like you're really going one way or the other. But I think it does start with not judging, am I thriving or am I stepping into something that's fun, that's like that judgment right there is a financial mindset. Yeah. It's truly saying when I close my eyes and I walk out of my door every day, am I wearing a caftan and going to meditate and doing like, what are you doing? And not I just I won't because these jeans are so tight. I just all I can think about is putting on something that doesn't have a button on it.
SPEAKER_00I understood you. I'm like, what do you think? A caftan.
SPEAKER_02I just need something flowy. Just it's my my stomach's being squished. Okay, anything flowing. Yes, I'm wearing a caftan. The judgment is not appreciated, by the way. This is the exact thing that got us to this place. I think when you walk out of the house and you you think about who, like, what is my dream, my highest version of myself, don't attach that person is financially successful or not. That person's financially irresponsible. Just get rid of those beliefs. Yeah. But when those start to cur creep up to say, yes, my dream is to start a garage band. That's I would like to. You can play. I feel like is anyone in for assembling or are we starting opening a bar? Garage band or bar? Can I just do some acrobats? I know you could play the triangle though, or cowbell. I think I could do that. Uh yeah. I, but that is, if that's your dream, don't assign people with garage bands are burnout, um, you know, dirtbag burnouts and smoking. Like just assign what is my purpose and then start to think about what is holding me back from achieving that dream versus I can't make any money wearing a caftan and doing yoga every day.
SPEAKER_00Oh, but I because you can.
SPEAKER_02And yes, there are people making millions. I for every dream that you've labeled in your head as silly or moving backwards or not achieving, there are thousands and thousands of people doing it at the highest level possible. Yes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they didn't put the limits, but I I said it before, and I'll say it again. Hey, um, it is the energetics of it. Like when you're truly operating at your highest level and you're living out the purpose of what you were, who you're here to be, things come to you. Like it, it comes. And so you may think it's the silliest idea ever, but if it is something you're passionate about and you just know, like you don't know where it's gonna go, it doesn't mean you don't start because it could truly lead into something that transforms lives as well as your own. And that's just simply because you followed even just like your gut intuition to lead you there.
SPEAKER_02And getting rid of that judgment of self, which is normally linked to can I still who am I if I don't earn this much? Who am I if I'm a stay-at-home mom and I decide to go back to work? That means I didn't, I don't love my kids, I don't value my kids, or I'm not as good of a mom as others. Those are financial beliefs that are stopping you from being the best mom. Yeah, from being the best version of yourself. And and those are the anchors that stop you from achieving joy. So examining those is a big part of going forward.
SPEAKER_00Yes. And because along with examining what you made me think of is I feel like a lot of a lot of women wouldn't even think like they wouldn't say out loud, like, oh, I think I am a bad mom if I do that, but subconsciously they believe it. Yes. And so there is also this element of what do you actually think, but like subconsciously, what's under there that you may not even realize.
SPEAKER_02I think, and also a big clues to that, because I think as we're we're doing this self-exploration, it's kind of it's hard sometimes to look at the belief systems that that you hold true and that you really are proud of having, that I'm proud that I've achieved I've done things right and I've I've climbed the ladder and I've those are things you're allowed to be proud of, and those are a big part of your identity. But you the things that are part of your old identity can be the things that hold you back from the next. Oh, no. And looking at who you're judging is also a big piece of that. Cause I think sometimes when you say aloud, like, oh, it must be nice to do yoga all day and to do that, is your brain and your your heart saying, That's something that I really admire and want. So even this is an ugly part of it, but a lot of times when you cast judgment on people's financial spending, or you know, it must be nice to live in that great house. I I just have to pay my bills, or I'm just a teacher that does, those are the things that are telling you sometimes in an ugly way, the things you're unwilling to look at, which is you want that, and it's okay to want that. It's a financial belief that is the thing that's holding you back, and that's why you it feels better to pretend that you couldn't achieve it because you're so much more responsible or or have better judgment or have more response, have more um guidance than people want other, or have more, you know, better parenting or better morals or bet or less greed than other people.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_02So I think that's where we start, and you know, those are the clues to getting to our very next level of of achievement.
SPEAKER_00Well, and then you even talked about um identities, and I that's something that's been on my heart for us to talk about too. So, because I I think there's so much that comes with that identity shifting, identity crisis, and um you being taking an intentional look at what we're talking about, which is who you want to become. So we got we got to talk about that too.
SPEAKER_02Because shifting into the entity and letting those things that were part of your old fall away is nasty, gritty, ugly work.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Aren't you guys excited to start? I think it'll be fun.
SPEAKER_00It's not fun, but it's so worth it. It is, and and I think life can either happen to you or you can be intentional about moving right along into the person that you want to become and the things that you want to do. Like we really are just here for one life. So we gotta make it a good one.
SPEAKER_02It is, and I think that is us stepping into our purpose of taking the things that we learned the hard way. And believe me, I have learned a lot of these things not by looking in the mirror and doing the hard work, but by being kicked out of my old nest and having to look at who I was, or by failing so many times at things that were not aligned to me that I was forced to, that I think that's what kicked me into this purpose of because it wasn't because I was doing the hard work or because I was examining myself. It was I was doing the opposite. Yeah, I was, you know, fighting to hold on to an identity that wasn't mine anymore, and it caused me a lot of um trouble. So I think us helping others go on that journey, and even as we're evolving to the next is our what we feel like our biggest calling is. So we'll see how it goes. But I would like a caftan in this next version.
SPEAKER_00I want to see you anyway. How oh, I wanted to ask you, how is your back backflip practice coming along? I just need back bends.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I've doing backbends, maybe a back walkover.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I might demo on the next podcast.
SPEAKER_00Hang tight. Yeah, for those of you didn't know, Andrea said that's her big crazy goal is to do a backflip.
SPEAKER_02So now you're gonna bring that up until I can just.
SPEAKER_00I'm sorry, because I didn't even have one, so you're better than me.
SPEAKER_02I just keep thinking about I feel like the broader feels a little closer. I could do some Alanis Morissette, you could maybe do some money rage.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because you are the most terrible person to go karaoke with because you make people think that you're not good, and then you get up there and you're like someone's an agent's there ready to give you a contract.
SPEAKER_02It's part of my it is, it's a whole performance that happens before leading up to, and then I say, Oh my, I didn't know I didn't know I was so good.
SPEAKER_00Does that come out of me?
SPEAKER_02On that note, more work to do.
SPEAKER_00I gotta get these jeans off. And so before we forget, I want to make sure we take a minute to give a shout out to our sponsor, Varon Brands, who has just been so amazing to work with. And I feel like is one of the reasons we're even here today, helped us come up with our name. Um, I feel like really understood who we were from the get go. And so, for people who are looking for who are a brand and really Trying to figure out how to represent themselves best in the world. Um, I feel like we would just scream her name, their name, really, from the rooftop.
SPEAKER_02I agree. And I remember our very first meeting with her, where we just had this idea to do a podcast and we had no idea what that even meant. We thought we had some messages to share. And she really made everything so concise and perfect that it made us feel like we had an identity and more of a calling to, I think it's just it's when somebody takes your vision and brings a little bit more life to it. It really, I think, put a lot of wind in our sails to feel like we had a message that we could get out there in a way that was not just funny, but also impactful to our yeah, and that everything that we do moving forward really aligns to that, which is what we wanted, but I don't think we would have even realized without her that that was like an important thing. And she films all of our funny, ridiculous cliffs and shares a song on Hype Woman.
SPEAKER_00Yes, hype woman for sure. So if you are a brand, a purpose-driven brand, especially especially, reach out to Lori at Viron Brands.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, can't recommend her more.
SPEAKER_02I guess we'll talk about next time. Yeah, talk about our belief system. My throat's so sore. All right, we'll see you around. Adios and Chachos.