The Journal Exercise That Changed My Life

Everyone talks about journaling your dream life.

But what if you can’t even picture it?

What if the life you truly want feels so far away that writing it down seems impossible?

In this episode, we’re sharing the often-missed step that comes before dreaming big.

Before vision boards.
Before manifestation.
Before creating your future self.

You have to understand the beliefs that are shaping your current reality.

Through personal stories and real journal entries, we explore how limiting beliefs quietly operate beneath the surface—impacting everything from career growth and self-worth to money, success, and the opportunities we believe we’re capable of creating.

Andrea shares how a belief that she was “lazy” followed her from childhood into her corporate career and nearly prevented her from embracing entrepreneurship. Stevi opens up about uncovering a hidden fear around worthiness after questioning why she felt a particularly successful year had simply been “luck.”

Together, we discuss why journaling isn’t about writing a diary—it’s about creating space to hear what your subconscious has been telling you all along.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, restless, or unable to connect with a bigger vision for your life, this conversation may help you uncover what’s really standing in the way.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to the Lipstick Alchemist, the podcast for ambitious women ready to stop playing it safe and start living in alignment. We'll explore the mindset shifts, the soul nudges, and awaken the version of you you were always meant to be.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

Alright, before we get into it, we have a very big announcement.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

We need to introduce you to two new very um very important men in my life that just came here.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

Not just one, but two.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Two, two. And one's never enough. This is Crouton.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

And this little cutie pie is Teddy. I'm gonna call him Teddy Ruxpin.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

I know, and we're so in love with them. So and sprinkles, of course, the big mama is down where she usually is for our podcast. We are dog people, and I just um I'm so excited to have him here. I forgot how much work puppies are.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

I know when well, you know, when you said you were gonna have not just one, but two eyes.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

I always go baby.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

They said you're crazy, and you said shut the hell up, go away.

SPEAKER_02 0:59

I know whenever you tell me things I don't want to hear, I'm like, get out of my office. And then I always come back and I'm like, oh, she's right, but but I'm still not gonna listen.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

I'm not I'm not gonna give her that. So if you're listening on um Spotify or Apple, you need to come check out YouTube to see these little cutie patooties. But they're gonna be hanging out with us for a bit. We'll see. Maybe they'll rest.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

You've got a wiggly one.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

I do have a wiggly one.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

So we want to get straight into a little bit of our content, and a lot of people have been talking to us to us more and more about just the practical application of really implementing limiting beliefs and building life your dreams. And I think we started on the highest level and are kind of building our story throughout. But what we thought we'd talk about today is something that we hear all about it all the time about in manifestation and and money beliefs, which is journaling. And you get a lot of tips around, you know, write down your dream life, dream it over and over, dream it over and over. And we want to just share a little bit about our journeys and sort of what this looks like in real time and when you're actually applying those concepts to your to your world. So I think, you know, journaling and manifestation is all about dreaming big. But for me, I'll start it off, you know, there was a time not very long ago where I'm sitting in a cubicle working with my hunchback, you know, typing away on my hamster wheel. And if I had had written down even my life today, even just five or six years ago, I it would have been laughable and kind of demoralizing. I couldn't say, you know, take two trips a year, have, you know, do X, Y, and Z. It would have been really a sad I would have looked at that and thought, well, that would be nice, take two trips a year, but I'm barely making it to the grocery store without having to use my credit card. And it just wouldn't have made any sense. So we want to talk about the step before dreaming big, which is, and I think when you go, you'll know if you're at this step, if when you go to write down your dream life, you it feels ridiculous. Like you're writing down, you know, fly first class and you're like, I can't even afford to travel right now.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

How I'm lucky to use my Southwest Airlines voice.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Exactly. And I think that's the stage that's even more important before the dreaming big. So if you start to journal, which I hope you all do, and you feel like you can't even get to the place where you can have a dream bigger than pay all my bills and have $1.50 left over, then this is the step that we want to talk about as the as step one to that.

SPEAKER_01 3:27

Yeah, I I mean, I agree because I think we, I think it's so important as you get into the visualization and when we get to talking about dreaming or journaling, like what your true dreams are, you have to be able to connect with whatever it is that you're thinking about. And it can feel, it can feel far away. It can feel like that's not gonna happen tomorrow, but it has to feel like a dream or desire that you can actually do. Um, which I think they even say like lottery people don't actually win this huge lottery because it's really impossible for our subconscious to ever connect with numbers that high. And so we have to find that place of like dreaming big, but knowing that somewhere in my future life, this is possible. And so to your point, when you when you can't actually get there, then we have to take a step back to start to uncover, okay, why not? What is holding me back? And so that's I'm super excited that we're we're kind of talking about this first.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

And I think I think the biggest, you know, tether up to dreaming big is our current circumstance. Yeah. Because if you are in a a salary job that has a limit to it or um and you have big dreams, you're in a place where you know your your life circumstance doesn't allow you to get, you know, to get to that place that you really want to be. And that's where we have to turn the mirror in and say where you're living today, your financial situation, your your fitness, your health and your relationships is a reflection of your beliefs about yourself.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 4:57

And I think the hardest thing for me was, you know, you get to this place where you see other people around and you you see them. I would be sitting in a cubicle next to somebody doing the exact same job who was soaring. And it would be able to do what I did. But for me, I wasn't in that in the right seat. And I think that's the hard work is what what beliefs are keeping me stuck where I can't even dream at 35, 40 years old, what's next for me. That's a sad place to be. And that's I think where the hard work comes in because you have to really look at what what choices have I made that have landed me in this circumstance? Not my marriage ended, not it's not fair, not they picked another person over me. Yeah. Those choice it your life really is, you've designed it. And if you can't dream big, you have to the hardest step I think is to look at how you're holding yourself back and not prejudge, just take the tiniest step to unwind those beliefs. And the first step is looking at them and really seeing if they're true or not.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

And I think they're so, I mean, just to even take a step back on journaling for those for people who aren't really doing it yet. Um, you know, I think often we probably, when you hear that term, you can maybe roll your eyes a little thinking, like, oh, dear diary that I have with my lockets back in, you know, 1985. With a feathery pen. Which that works, you know, that made us like think about what was on our heart. But I think as we've we evolve, I remember even um travel journal journaling was my favorite because as I've looked back, there were so many little memories that you forget about, like those tiny moments when you're traveling or living life. And so it can be a fun way to connect back to yourself. But in this particular kind, um, it's just so amazing because you can use it in a way where you're really putting your brain aside and connecting to your emotions and just truly trying to figure out what is holding me back or what my beliefs are. And so um I think that that can be just a really powerful way to step aside from your conscious, like what's the awareness, and like really let you speak from from with what is within.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

I and I think that what you said there's so important with the it's not in your conscious system because we all have had life circumstances that have, you know, we can assign blame to and that have landed us in places that were less desirable. But I think your subconscious beliefs are really your operating system that you're using without even really knowing. Yes. And I'll I'll give an example of mine because I I had a lot of limiting beliefs, and we've talked about this before. The way that I came to the next phase of my life was not because I designed the life of my dreams. It was because I it was out of necessity and really because I was having a lack of success. And um, you know, in a time in my life where I really needed to make some changes, or I was not gonna, I was gonna have to make big changes and not be able to afford even my current lifestyle. But for me, the difference between being in a salary job and owning my own business, I I think fundamentally I carried a belief that I'm inherently a lazy person.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 8:04

Which I didn't, and I am which you're not. I totally am 100%. If you look at my gym record, I am a lazy fuck. And I I can't help it. I am I'm a potato, pouch potato on the couch eating.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

I you know I could eat snacks all weekend and take like every shortcut, but I really don't think of you as I feel like you are also so amazing though, at um when I think of you from a work perspective, you do you're like magic. Like things, things happen and come to you. And so you because that's what you believe, like you believe the possibility is there, which is also what we talk about, that it doesn't have to be this grind to go after what you want. And maybe that's something that for you has evolved over time, but I don't think of you as lazy at all.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

I think for the record, really peeling back on my exercise routine and my physical fitness say otherwise. But I I think when I looked at that though, I think I um, you know, if my grades were low or it was like you're not working hard enough. And in my my corporate job, I was not, you know, overworking and staying late and grinding it out. And so I thought, you know, I'm somebody who's not, you know, gonna work very hard. But when I really peeled that back, my laziness is around things that I don't enjoy. Like I either fuck with you all the way or I'm not. Like I have two modes. That's very true. All in between. You're not in between. No. And I it was only when I discovered my passion and alignment that I have found such, I mean, such energy and such passion behind the work. So was the belief true that I'm lazy? I have those traits for sure. But it was a trait that I looked at to say, maybe if I found something that was my passion, like other things that I've aligned to, where I'm not lazy, spending time with my kids, um, you know, I don't know what would be another example. That's really the only one. Um, I could, I would feel this energy and passion towards it that would push my effort in that direction. And that's exactly what happened. I think I I'm somebody who can be lazy, but I was misaligned professionally. And once I peeled that back, I feel I've never felt so excited and never wanted to do anything more than what we do day to day. So that's an example of a belief that really was holding me back. Not I knew I was talented in certain ways, but I did think that I was somebody who who wasn't a very hard worker.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

And did you at what point did you start journaling around stuff like that? Like, is that what helped you kind of come to some of these conclusions? I have a dog here on my lip.

SPEAKER_02 10:30

I keep saying I can't see it from here because I don't have my glasses on, I couldn't see it anyway. But he is like a furry cat, so it's probably covering your face. I think I didn't, I didn't really get into journaling the way I wish I would have until I messed myself up. So it was sort of like finding myself in this new role and being, you know, having the freedom to design my life from scratch. But a lot of times my journaling was about my emotions or, you know, things like that. But I wasn't really an active journaler. So when I got into the role and I was, you know, into my my own business and I was, I had such anxiety and I thought, gosh, everyone's gonna see me fail. I'm gonna have to go out and and come back in and beg for my old job back, and everyone will know that I was terrible at what I did. And it was this fear, but the heart of it was, you know, I don't have the work ethic to succeed. So that when I started feeling that anxiousness, I mean, I would grind my teeth down to smithereens when I first started in the role, and I'd be like, why am I so anxious? I'm having success.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

Yeah, and I think crushing it.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

That's when I had to really identify those limiting beliefs. So I was already swimming downstream trying to try to hang on to the line. Like a salmon. Yes, I was like not spearfishing yet. I was sort of like naked and afraid, just trying to be like, I feel like I'm doing okay. But I am crying every day in my shower and grinding my teeth to smithereens. I'm gonna have chiclets by the end if I don't figure out why I'm so afraid of what's right in front of me.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

Well, and so I think the if we talk specifically about like what the action is, you know, to take for me, what has really helped me is literally getting out the journal. And as you're thinking, like, what am I trying to figure out? You just write, write that question. Like, um, what is what is lit, what is holding me back? I've done that before. Like I literally just write that question and you don't think you just put the pen to paper. And it is truly the wildest thing I one of the wildest things I've experienced because you just it starts coming to you. Like you just write and write and write. And sometimes the sentences don't all come together, but it I feel like every time I do it, like my mouth drops because I'm like, how is like I literally just asked this question, like, where is this answer coming from? Like it's wild. But um, I looked it up because I wanted to like sound really smart today.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

Good job.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

Because I was like, why does this work? And of course, I'm not gonna sound smart because all of it was like mumbo jumbo that I was like, I'm not gonna be able to translate this, but feel free to do some research. But what I understood that it did talk about was um your pre-frontal cortex. So the first part of your brain is where you tend to overthink. And so when you do it, it removes that part of your brain and it lets the emotions just come up. So you truly are answering, like writing what your subconscious actually thinks. And so I just think it is the cool coolest tool that I probably need to be using more.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

How do you do you use it the same way or I really now I don't I look at my limiting beliefs now? Um, I think because I've had so many experiences in ignoring them and self-assessing that to me it's like a muscle where I um and even we've talked this year, like sometimes I'll go through phases and I'm generally very, you know, good with money, but I'll go through phases where I'm sp my spending will be egregious. And I'm like, what how did all these things with tags get into my closet and where is all my money? Or I'll I'll do my taxes and be like, made a lot, have don't have and those are times when I'll say, like, I'm not good with money, and then I I hear myself say it and I know right away to take that out and go, Yeah, is that true? Sometimes it is, but more often than not, I'm very good with money and spending is usually a symptom of something else going on or just you know, boredom, or so I think I do it more real time when I feel myself stuck in my life, and I try to spend most of my time now believing in myself and knowing that I have a million terrible traits and a million things that are true about me and a million things that are. But if I can dream those big dreams and really attach myself to the bigger dream. So now instead of spending all my time on limiting beliefs, I spend it on the next phase of my life and who we want to help and who I want to help in the community. And that's the place that I think is phase two. But I never could have gone there without really trying to understand my own emotions around already being in the sea.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

Well, and I think that speaks to the evolution in your mindset development and your personal development. And I know we both spent a lot of time getting there, and so a lot of cry, so much a lot of mistakes. Um, but you I think we we do get better as you practice these types of things of just quickly going, oh, there it is again. But I think it takes activities like this that can help you even uncover what it is because we didn't know that.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

Yes, and it's a part of your DNA and it's a part of your it really comes up. The place I see it the most, especially with people we work with, is in their dialogue. And so much of my humor is self-deprecating and f I am funny. You are really funny. Thank you. Um, I needed that today. And I think, but even when I make jokes at my expense, uh a lot of that is um, you know, sometimes negative self-talk or things that are, and I catch myself saying things over and over, and I'm like, okay, something in me believes that this is true. And I I think I do have an awareness enough because I listen to other people's language and I try to help other people that repeat things that are are not helpful and try to help them identify like, do you is that something you really believe, or is it just something you've been told, or something that represents this part of your life that's really not true about your your belief system at all?

SPEAKER_01 16:15

Well, I I actually went through, I know both of us went through our journals and um it was really I was thinking maybe I would read a little entry talking about just some at least part of it that sort of emphasizes what we were talking about. So this was just from a few years ago, and I think it demonstrates this um idea. And so I was, I wrote, I had an aha last night that I have a limiting belief that's been holding me back. It's that I think I was lucky last year and that I can't do it again. So I'm writing to sort it out and get to the bottom of this because if I can do it once with God, we can do it again and again and again. And so the question I wrote was, why do I feel like I can't do it again? And I remember when I read this, I was like, ooh, it kind of like all came back to me. Like I remember going, oh no, I was just lucky, you know. And so I just wrote that and I immediately started writing the response. And I wrote, it just seems like I was lucky. And then in January, it didn't go as well, which in reinforced to me that it's already starting to be true. But do I really think it's true? No, I have faith and belief, and then why would that even come up? Because I'm scared I can't do it again, and now I've set the bar so high, what if I can't reach it? So it's fear, fear of failure, embarrassment, and every little situation not working has led me to believe it's already happening. And then I kind of went on and on to go from there. But like just reading that back is like, wow, like I don't even think at the time that's what I realized was happening. And so it really helped me be able to reflect on like, oh, okay, so if that's not true, like what how do I how do I start to turn that story around and believe something different?

SPEAKER_02 17:56

And obviously you've been lucky year after year after year now. So clearly wasn't true, but but I think what's even bigger, like as your friend listening to that, what strikes me about it is the story around luck really implies that you don't have maybe the talent that's sustainable. Like there's a belief system down there. I don't know everything I need to know, which is and I look at um it's funny when you're when you know somebody so well and you watch the things that play out in their head and you're their good friend that watches them work every single day, and you're like, how what? Like that doesn't even what are you talking about? But when I look at it, I think to say I'm lucky is to say is really to say, you know, this I don't have maybe all the my results aren't the res aren't assigned to my talent, my heart and I work watch you work your balls off, your bullocks off. And I I mean and you you really um I mean I think the isn't that the saying the harder the harder I work the luckier I get.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

Yep, yes.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

But I think it's uh luck is really also diminishing your core talent and who you are as a person to say, I'm not maybe not worthy of this and it's only gonna be a one-time strike, or what I possess inside isn't an like I is gonna the curtain's gonna be pulled back and people will be like, oh my gosh, she's just lucky. And I think that is what because you work so hard and you're very skilled at what you do, and I think luck would be the last thing I would ever think of. But it's funny, so interesting, and I think that's why having a good girlfriend to like even test that out with to be like, number one, I don't think you're that lucky. You run out of gas all the time. You're not like you're not finding four leaf clovers everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

So thanks to Lori and husband for always coming to my rescue. So I don't poor leaf clovers. I never have actually. No, you're not a rabbit's foot carrier.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

I think I'm luckier than you, honestly. If we had to go toe-to-toe, you work very hard and you care about people and love what you do. So I luck wouldn't even be anything that I or any of your friends would say. But how funny that that's what come came up. And it's so not even a real thing. Same thing.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

Well, and they what um what it's so important. Like, we haven't even talked about this until I shared that with you, you know. And it was so interesting to me that you brought up the self-worth piece. Because even though, because even though I reflected on that, I don't even think I got as far as what it really meant, which to your point is, and that what an mother effort that is. That that truly comes down to like my word, what maybe is my worthiness and how I valued myself. Um, so I think it emphasizes your point around making sure you have those good people like that love you so much that you can have these types of conversations, like having girlfriends that you can be like, holy crap, this is what I like, this is what came up, and be able to talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

Yes, and somebody who knows you and can. I think also you sometimes just don't even like you're somebody who has high self-worth. So as as a person. So I don't think people would ever look at you and say, you're not competent or capable, or and you I know you have high self-worth in yourself by how you what you choose and how you live your life. But I think there's there can be, you could have high self-worth and have places in your life where insecurity reigns queens. So just because you love yourself and you you think you're you're proud of yourself doesn't mean that there aren't places in your life where your self-worth is lower than others.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

Well, and sometimes with self-worth, it's you have it, but you're always feeling like you have to prove yourself, which is a gajillion percent my inner child, like me always feeling like I had to be that straight A student, the you know, the the disciplined one, the one that you think the performer. And so I do see that creep up a lot.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

So that's I think and we're both Leo's same birthday. So I think we're the same. We're like, yeah, please love me. I'm gonna ride my unicycle and juggle. And I think you you know, you as you mature, you hopefully can unwind some of those beliefs. But um, it's it's so strange in retrospect because I feel Like I've lived a lifetime in this second phase of my life, and I look back on that person sitting in the cubicle that couldn't even imagine having really, I mean, extra money in a savings account. You know, the circumstances I'm so grateful for because they were not pretty that brought me here really saved me. And but I think I couldn't have dreamt big, and I think a lot of us can't because your safety and your excuses and your subconscious behavior is keeping you stuck.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

Yeah, you're really tethered to your current reality.

SPEAKER_02 22:32

Yeah. And you say that I would always say things like, Oh, I'd love to go start my own business, but who's, you know, I've got a safe salary, who's gonna pay the bills and who's gonna, but I those were excuses made because I felt like I was somebody who was not gonna work hard enough to have success. And so unwinding the I wish I had unwound those beliefs and been proactive about really um assigning responsibility to myself for the circumstances I was in. But so often when you Good or bad, right?

SPEAKER_01 22:59

Because also, again, back to the luck, you can be like, oh, well, that was just me being lucky when it happened.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

I am lucky. I no, I'm really not at all. But I think that's right. And I think you you have to have the courage to look at where you're sitting today. And even if and I think sometimes it's like, well, nice for her to, you know, talk about having a designer purse. I have bills to pay and I have you are the reason that you're sitting in that spot. And if there is a disconnect and you feel that discontent, it means there's more for you. Not that you suck, not that you're stuck there. And I think we like we always talk about, we're not suggesting you hit the eject button and are like, I've looked at my limiting beliefs and I'm quitting my job. It's really about just taking those micro steps to be like, okay, I'm 40 years old and I'm pretty mediocre, you know, across the board. What, what is it about me and my life and my what I believe about myself that is keeping me here? And if you just look at them every once a week, or you really get honest with yourself and and begin to unwind and say, you know, can I question these things? Are they logical? Just don't prejudge them. Look at it as though it's your um like your best girlfriend and saying, okay, you know, am I lazy? Is that true? Yeah, like you can funnily look at it and say, would this be true if I was aligned to my passion? And just begin to take the micro steps.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:25

Because this is not a find the courage on a Tuesday and resign on a Friday and your million-dollar business on Monday. It's truly slowly unwinding the circumstances and the belief systems that got you here. Regardless if they were your own, you are a victim of certain circumstances. Um that's what gets you to step two, which is now how can I get to a place where I can begin to think that there's more? And then you link those two together. Cause with the big one when you're stuck in a place that doesn't allow you to.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Yeah, awesome. Well, this is a fun conversation for me. And I hope you all got a lot out of it. Um, so we I would love to hear, I know both of us would love to hear. If you are open to sharing, um, I think a good step for you to take um following this episode is to to do exactly what we've talked about. Come up with a question, um, ask yourself that question and just write what comes to mind. Um, and we'd love to hear what you you uncovered and start to peel that back, maybe you know, day after day. Um, and then we'll come back here and talk about the really fun part, which is how you can journal about the dreams and your vision in the future life. So I'm excited. Me too. Thank you, pups, for joining. Oh, now the ones, now little the teddy sleep on. Pretty tootie says, see you later.