side notes
A fun, honest and heartfelt podcast hosted by a mom and daughter who talk about everything—life, relationships, pop culture, family, mistakes, lessons and the stuff we usually talk about on FaceTime.
side notes
Side note... we're soulmates!
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Hey girl.
SPEAKER_01Hey girl.
SPEAKER_03How are you?
SPEAKER_01Good. How are you?
SPEAKER_03I'm good. Episode two and video.
SPEAKER_01Episode oh, episode two of video.
SPEAKER_03Two of video.
unknownCorrect.
SPEAKER_02Very exciting stuff here.
SPEAKER_01I know.
SPEAKER_02For all of our adoring fans, we are on it.
SPEAKER_01I know. We're gonna try to upload every Tuesday.
SPEAKER_03That's the goal.
SPEAKER_01That's the goal. We are also going to fix our mics.
SPEAKER_03Upgrade the mics. Upgrade. Yes. But everybody bear with us.
SPEAKER_01Yes, we're just small, tiny little creators figuring it out as we go.
SPEAKER_03Figuring it out as we go. Indeed. Although the response so far has been overwhelming.
SPEAKER_01It has. I mean, are we surprised?
SPEAKER_03No. 500 views of my reel on Facebook.
SPEAKER_01Well, the Facebook, I think maybe I don't know. We need to do something. If I knew any, I said, like, maybe I should try to like find an intern. I know that sounds silly.
SPEAKER_02Well, I have my friend Jessica's pretty, pretty interested. She's pretty invested in us. I know.
SPEAKER_01Hi, Jessica. Thanks. Um, but no, like, I need no offense to Jessica, I'm sure she's fantastic, but I need like a tech savvy gen Z. Yeah. Someone. And I was thinking, like, I don't know, college kids like do things for free all the time just to say they did it. There you go. I don't know. Maybe I'll reach out to my your people, my alumni. Your local people.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's a very good idea.
SPEAKER_01And see if anyone wants to take part in the growth of a booming business.
SPEAKER_03Right. The early days. Beyond board.
SPEAKER_01You can only say you were at the beginning once.
SPEAKER_03That's so true.
SPEAKER_01So we're we're trying our best.
SPEAKER_03We are.
SPEAKER_01Um a few things that I wanted to comment on before we we jump in. Okay. If I could find the note where I wrote it. Okay. Okay, so I am using the word colloquially wrong.
SPEAKER_03I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_01And I colloquially.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you're using it wrong. I didn't realize you were using it.
SPEAKER_01So I said it in the last episode. You did? So I don't mean you, you, I mean like you in the colloquial sense, but like that's not what that word means. Oh, I don't think I heard that. Yes, I did say that, and it haunted me because what am I so what am I mixing that word with?
SPEAKER_03What did you think?
SPEAKER_01In the general sense. Like, I don't mean you specifically, I mean you broad scope, but for some reason I think that that is colloquially, which is not colloquially is like casually, yeah, not formal, right?
SPEAKER_03So not correct.
SPEAKER_01In that so you want it to be like in the general sense, in the general sense, or the broader broader.
SPEAKER_03So yeah. Okay. Well, we'll we'll make a note. If anybody listening knows what Leah meant to say, please let us know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but no, I I do think it is colloquial. I mean broader.
SPEAKER_03Yes, you meant like me, not me specifically, me in the like you in the broad sense. Right. I got it.
SPEAKER_01But anyway.
SPEAKER_03Right, right. But if so, if anybody knew what go ahead.
SPEAKER_01That I wanted to say was my one of my like best hoods best friends from childhood, Lexi, listened to the podcast and goes, text me, you are the opposite of a people pleaser. So I just thought that was so interesting.
SPEAKER_03That's in so now why does she think that? Does she think that like from like past or present day Leah?
SPEAKER_01Maybe I don't people please with her.
SPEAKER_03Maybe just because that's an easy real like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I don't want to say it's not in the other relationships where you maybe do it more, it's a harder relationship, but I think to her point, which we touched on a little bit, which is why I think our brands of people pleasing are a little bit different. I have a much easier time saying no to my people. Right. It's like the people that are just outside of that crew that I feel less okay saying no. So anyway, I just thought that that was interesting. That like I'm out here self-proclaiming to be a people pleaser and someone who one of the people who knows me best in the world is like interesting.
SPEAKER_03No, you ain't okay, interesting.
SPEAKER_01Yes, okay. Anywho, to start off our fourth episode, as we do all of our episodes, we're gonna talk about our things. Loving, hating, watching, listening to, reading.
SPEAKER_03Correct.
SPEAKER_01Um, so why don't you kick us off?
SPEAKER_03Okay, I mean, I have so much hate right now, and I'm trying to let it go because I've had a very aggravating day. Correct. And I just I'm weak. Um, but I will I'll start with a love because that's an easy one. I think that's a better idea. Um I love the Newport Folk Festival. Yes, of course. And it's interesting because I was there last weekend and I was a little meh about the lineup. Like, there were some good things, there were some like, but nothing where I was like, oh my God. I remember last year being like, there's so many things I want to see. There were some things I wanted to see. I was like, that'd be cool to check that, that, and that out. And I was blown away and ended the weekend saying to Mark, this is the only festival I ever want to come to. I don't care. We'll figure it out. And got myself some foundation tickets for next year because I was like, How many did you get? I got two because no one else wants to go really and enjoy it. I'm not spending all that much money for people who are like, eh, that was cool. It was fun.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's how I feel about it.
SPEAKER_03So next year, if there's an extra ticket, like and and and and we will all try and get tickets when they go on sale. And if there's extra, that's awesome. Um, the house is getting a little crowded, so that's another interesting thing, but whatever. We'll figure that out now that the Fadens have joined that group, which is super fun and a great time with them. Wasn't it by awe? Yeah, no, it was very, very fun. But Newport was just, I mean, look, it was an amazing weekend.
SPEAKER_01Um, unfortunately, really, we joined the Fadens.
SPEAKER_03Well, they never stayed, yes, but they never stayed together. Like Eileen and I found that house.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's a great house.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So we were like debating trying to find bigger or get that one, and then a smaller next nearby. And we decided that Henry's just gonna have to, if he goes, he'll just have to bunk with Danny and Amira. Whatever. You know, okay. As somebody said, we're taking, you know, I'm not taking anybody, but for those folks that are taking all of their children and their respective girlfriends and such. You want to stay somewhere else and have privacy? Go stay somewhere else and have privacy.
SPEAKER_01See you then.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_03Um, anyway, so I love the Newport Folk Festival. It was a fabulous weekend. I loved every minute of it. Um, and then the only bad part that happened, which I'm not trying not to dwell on, was just the miserable experience of trying to get from Providence to Chicago for a work week, um, having my flights get canceled. And now I'm gonna say I'm hitting about the four-hour mark of time on the phone with United. Between the time I was on the phone with them when they were canceling stuff with me, I should actually probably make it closer to five if I include the chats that I did, plus the two hours I spent today trying to get them to fix all the things which are not gonna be fixed, and it's gonna end up costing me a bazillion dollars to have made that trip.
SPEAKER_01That's crazy. Also, maybe like use your platform here. What do you need to say to United? That's just controversy, scandal.
SPEAKER_03Well, if you're gonna cancel people's flights and rebook them at times that don't work for the person, I understand they're doing the best they can. So my flight on a Monday got canceled, then my flight Tuesday morning got canceled, and then they were like, oh, we can fight find you on a flight on Wednesday. Well, that didn't really work for me. And when I went to go onto the app, they were like, There's a problem with your reservation, you'll have to call. So I wasn't even able to modify my reservation on the app. And believe it or not, at two o'clock in the morning on Monday night, there was an hour and a half wait for an agent. So yeah, I was on the phone in the middle of the night with my phone at my ear. And finally, after about an hour, Mark said, I found you at a flight on Southwest tomorrow morning. Do you want to just take it? And I said, Yeah. And then I spent the time sitting on the tarmac when the Southwest flight got delayed, chatting with the United agent so that they would not cancel the back end of my ticket. All that to say, I think it cost me about $3,000 to go to Chicago.
SPEAKER_00That's a sin.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So anyway, that was my hate. My original hate was going to be I hate all these new delivery things that aren't UPS and FedEx, where they deliver things like on track and laser ship and all those things where they deliver things to a building on a weekend and it's a commercial building that's closed, and they just throw it outside and say, Cool, we're delivered. Because that's happened to me a number of times. But I'm going to put the United experience um at above that at the moment.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, there's always time.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I mean, I said the whole shipping of delivery items might want me to make me rethink how many things I order, but like that's you would think it slows you down, but it doesn't.
unknownIt doesn't.
SPEAKER_01It doesn't. Um, telling you that you need to get I don't they're ugly, those boxes.
SPEAKER_03There's there's one at the end of the street. It's like it's like this big giant thing on our on our front. I don't know. I'll think about it. Maybe.
SPEAKER_01Or like I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Is that and is that for just Amazon, or like you that's everybody delivers into?
SPEAKER_01All of them get like a QR code that they scan into and then they can drop the thing in the box.
SPEAKER_03I'll think about it.
SPEAKER_01Seems absurd, but well, anyway, the rate that you order things.
SPEAKER_03That's so true. Okay, so that's my love and hate. What's your love and hate? Okay.
SPEAKER_01My love is I think I'm going to say that my love Wait, can I just stop you for one second?
SPEAKER_03It can't possibly matter that my I just realized my iPad is on air, still on airplane mode.
SPEAKER_00But it's connected to Wi-Fi.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so it yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay. You're on it, correct?
SPEAKER_03I'm on it.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so we're on the internet.
SPEAKER_03We're on. Okay. I don't know. I just saw the airplane when I just saw my time is 4.25, and I realized that that's still from Chicago, and I got a little concerned.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah. I mean, like yeah, no, you're connected to Wi-Fi, it's fine.
SPEAKER_03Okay. I got a little anxious.
SPEAKER_01I don't know if I'm gonna be able to cut that out. So if we're not.
SPEAKER_03Sorry, I had a little panic.
SPEAKER_01It's good. I mean, better to catch it at 11 minutes. Um what was I saying?
SPEAKER_03Love and hate.
SPEAKER_01Oh, my love is having a neighborhood restaurant. Like it just brings me great joy. And our goal, so when Peter and I lived in New York, we were like, let's become regular somewhere, but it's difficult in New York. We also lived like in places where it would be difficult to become a regular, correct, because of the level of business traffic and tourism and not tourism, but people from otherwise go to the same place all the time. We weren't regulars, which was right. Well, when you live in a small, a smaller town outside of a big metropolitan city, it's much easier to become a regular. So we have in our less than two years living in our town, become regulars at like our local bar, pub, whatever. We probably go once or twice a week at minimum. So it was so funny because we went on Saturday with our friends, and every single time we go, like three of the waiters, there's like maybe a total of five, they look at Peter and they go, Guinness, and they look at me and they go club soda.
SPEAKER_05Club soda.
SPEAKER_01So on Saturday, we were going like out to dinner with our friend, whatever it was, like obviously casual, but I was like, I'm gonna get a glass of wine.
SPEAKER_02Crazy.
SPEAKER_01So Jake, our our like probably most regular server comes over to us and goes, Guinness and a club soda, and I go, actually, can I get a glass of Sauvignon Blanc? And he like smirks and walks away and comes back, and he goes, getting crazy tonight. I was like, that's really the kind of interactions that I want to be having in my life. Like it was just so perfect, yes. Um, so yeah, I really love that it's so nice. I like know what I'm gonna eat when I go there, which is like important to me. Yep. And I really enjoy it. And the food is just like it's good, you know, like uh no one's giving them like a James Beard award, right? But it's not like we're just eating there to eat there, like it's good stuff, right?
SPEAKER_03Excellent.
SPEAKER_01That is what I love. What I'm hating right now is my current back issues that I'm experiencing.
SPEAKER_03I'm sorry, honey, not so good.
SPEAKER_01It's just like so I don't know how to solve them. Because to be honest, look, I get it. I'm not like lifting so crazy heavy right now because I recognize that that's not good for my back, but I actually feel worse on days when I do nothing. Because you're so stiff, because I'm so stiff, like I need to move and like stretch and walk, and I need to do those things, not only mentally, but also because they're like when I don't do them, I actually feel worse.
SPEAKER_03I feel like you should come and take a turn in sweat house with me.
SPEAKER_01I can't, Mom.
SPEAKER_03Oh right. Do you think you can get in the bag?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I could get in the bag.
SPEAKER_03I'll bring you the bag Tuesday. Maybe I need to get in the bag because I just I'll bring you to the bag and some of my magnesium soaps. You have a tub, right?
SPEAKER_01Yes, I have a tub. I have one.
SPEAKER_03I have like the super concentrated, it's like Epsom salts times a thousand.
SPEAKER_01Did you get the Epsomet from GMA?
SPEAKER_03I don't know what I got, but it's similar to that. But it's like these little packages, and it's like literally highly, highly concentrated magnesium salts.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Supposed to be good. I mean, I don't know if it's gonna do it, unfortunately.
SPEAKER_01No, I think it's important. I also need to be like better about my ibuprofen. Like I take it in the morning and then I forget to take it again.
SPEAKER_03Right. I mean, what you you know, if you really want to get it done, you gotta take it like for like a period of a couple days for I need to not great. Um I'm sorry, that's very frustrating. It's just someone who suffers.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's just like I'm like um a like a well-aged.
SPEAKER_03I will say the moving, uh so obviously, and like my back is not a hundred percent better the entire time we were at Newport, my back was completely fine. I had moving and walking standing and walking the entire you know, 12 hours a day.
SPEAKER_01And then when I was in Chicago, so much better in Lake Placid.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, because you were walking and moving so much. Yeah, sitting in Chicago on these really soft, they weren't uncomfortable chairs, actually, but for me they were bad because they were very soft on the bottom. Every time I went to get up, I was like, like I was like holding on for dear life. It's not good, it's so bad. Yeah, that's upsetting. I'm sorry, that's terrible.
SPEAKER_00That's okay. I'll live, obviously, which is nice.
SPEAKER_03That's good to know. You will live, you will indeed.
SPEAKER_01It is good. Um, okay, so you do listening, watching, reading.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Listening, I'm gonna say like my new blew me away at Newport. Wolfpeck.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah. You gotta text Liv.
SPEAKER_03I I I mean, I can't say I would listen to them all the time, but I would certainly listen to their live shows, but seeing them live is quite a thing. I've never quite seen anything like it. I mean, there's a million of them. They all play every instrument, they're all insanely talented.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I was watching Warren's track star.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And who was he talking about brought back like big bands? Tredesky trucks.
SPEAKER_03Tadesky trucks, yeah. I guess they're a big band. And he was sadly they did not make it to Newport. They were supposed to be there on Sunday, but she had to get her pet mixed out.
SPEAKER_01Well, it was like he was saying, it's it's a feat, like it's hard.
SPEAKER_03It's a lot, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I mean big bands.
SPEAKER_03I'm trying to think of how many. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. There's gotta be, I can't say because I don't know the band that well, there's gotta be at least 10 people in that band.
SPEAKER_01How many?
SPEAKER_03I mean, I've and they all play like every instrument, they all sing, like it was, I was wildly impressed by them live. It was a lot of fun, a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_00Well, it has core four core members, right?
SPEAKER_03And then they just add a lot of people, I think, when they're performing with them. Yeah, it but I was very impressed.
SPEAKER_01Um, that's great.
SPEAKER_03And like they're a couple guys from Michigan.
SPEAKER_01Like, will you listen like in your like I was listening today?
SPEAKER_03Okay, I was enjoying it. I mean, you know, it's very kind of like jazzy, bluesy instrumentally, so it's not like my normal choice, but I wasn't I was enjoying it today. I would certainly listen to it like on a Sunday afternoon if I was like in the kitchen cooking, that type of thing. Okay, love it. I enjoyed it very much, and they're really fun. So that was a that was a love of a listening. Um, watching. So we just started that series with Emily Rossom, Furious. Are you familiar?
SPEAKER_01I know that she has a show.
SPEAKER_03She's an FBI agent, and I mean I'm gonna tell Mark, I'm gonna try again, but we literally had to stop watching last night because I was getting so much anxiety from the episode. Like it's about a it's about a female serial killer.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I did see, I think I saw like on Apple when I was like six.
SPEAKER_03And I I realize I'm being a baby, but like it's I get like it was like too like stimulating for me to be watching at night. Oh, really? I just I get like anxiety and I felt uncomfortable and I was like, this is not like a I don't want to be watching this at 10 o'clock at night. That's interesting. Okay. I don't like that stuff though. I know you don't. You're right. And it's not just about like it's not her following the clues, like you see the person doing the things, and it just it was a little, I don't know. Like I said, I'm kind of a baby about stuff like that. It was a little unnerving. We are. Did I tell you we started Mad Men? I did say that, I think. Yeah, so that's good. That's interesting, that's been interesting. But yeah, the furious thing, I'm gonna try and stick with it because everybody says it gets very good, but I don't know, it kind of was disturbing to me.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_03Um, reading, I am reading the names. I can't say I'm racing through it, but oh, you're rolling your eyes. Oh my god, I kind of I'm finding, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01At the beginning, oh, it gets bad. I just like it was so with the back and forth and the times and the people and the names and the like it's it was too much. I don't know, it didn't it didn't glue for me, but okay, you know, go with God yeah, um, and you listening to I found this, well, I didn't find it, I heard it in like a vlog or something called Sunny Afternoon. Oh, not to play it by Cielo. Okay, send it to you. Okay, it's like such good. This is like the kind of music that Peter listens to, like around the house. It's just like such good like vibes, like usually dance very summery. So I like that. I've been like I put it on like every morning, it really gives me like good vibes. I like it. I know, me too. Check it out. Yeah, I'll send it to you. And then watching, we're still like watching Gray's Anatomy, but I watched, which can lead us into our conversation.
SPEAKER_03I watched an episode and a half. I know what you're gonna say.
SPEAKER_01I watched House of Stasi. I watched the whole thing.
SPEAKER_03Did you watch the whole thing?
SPEAKER_01The whole show.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_01It's only eight episodes, and like I it's on in like the peripheral when I'm like right.
SPEAKER_03You don't have to be sitting watching. Right, right, right.
SPEAKER_01So I will say, like, I I'm a big Vanderpump person, and obviously. Went through like her whole cancellation. Um, but when she did she get canceled, she like racially profiled a girl.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it was like not remember, I couldn't remember because she was talking about it and I was like, I don't remember how why she got canceled.
SPEAKER_01It was during COVID, so like rap, there was like a lot of stuff going on, obviously.
SPEAKER_03So it was probably not top of mind, but in the show or out on her own, because I may not have been on the show, but it happened out in the world, and maybe I didn't realize it because I was not watching then, right?
SPEAKER_01But she got canceled like out in like in the world, okay. Okay, so I have mixed emotions about her having like this huge Hulu platform, but I'm going to ignorantly put that to the side right now because I'm gonna talk about it because I did watch it. So she's trying, she's on Hulu, so she's on the same network as the Kardashians. The Kardashians, when they launched over on Hulu, they kind of decided they were gonna do like a different take on a reality show. It's like a little bit more documentary style. They completely break the fourth wall, they like talk to the interviewers, I mean to the cameras, like in the scene of the moment. Um, I guess you know, you have 20 seasons of the same thing. They wanted to like switch it up, which you know, that show has really gone downhill and it's almost unwatchable. But I appreciate someone trying to like innovate in their space, right? So Stasi is also trying to do that. It's like a different take on a reality show, and it's very much like we know we're in this reality show, we're kind of like acting like this because we're in this reality show and we're having these conversations at these tables on purpose, right? Because it seems kind of like and that kind of just like takes the sparkle out of it for me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it just seems it seems all of it seems so contrived. Like they're all sitting around discussing, oh, I was mad at you when you did whatever, because what the hell else? Like, if they don't, if they're not doing there's because there's no other drama otherwise.
SPEAKER_01Well, but like let me just be clear. I would never sign up for a show to just like fight with my husband on purpose, like right.
SPEAKER_03Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, I feel like it's like all contrived, like it's bad stuff.
SPEAKER_01They're like really fighting, like there's a lot of genuine emotion there. It's very strange, but like even Katie Maloney is on the show. I don't know if you've seen her yet. Like, I saw her. We haven't talked in two years, and she like brought her on the show. Like, so it's also fake. Like, if you're gonna have a reality show about your close circle, like make it be about your close, right?
SPEAKER_03Not like because she says allegedly it's because you know she wants to make peace with her and yada yada.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. So saying that I watched the whole thing, obviously didn't hate it. I found it an interesting watch in that it's not a traditional reality show, but like let me just say, I'm all for a traditional reality show, like they're fun to watch, that's why people loved them. Yeah, so that's kind of how I feel. And in when obviously Stasi was doing this press, another one of my reality show girls, one that I hold very near and dear to my heart, Morgan Stewart, had Stasi on her podcast, right? To like she's obviously promoting the show. Stasi also has a podcast. So, whatever, they had this whole episode and I watched it, and some a part of the conversation stuck out to me, which is going to be like our topic of the day, which is that Morgan and Stasi both were kind of talking about how they had these interesting relationships with their daughters, both of which I think are like four, five, six, like they're starting kindergarten in that kind of age range. Where Stasi basically said, like, I know that I have been like, I think that Hartford, her daughter, is like my soul's purpose on this earth. And I know that we have lived other lives together, and I must have wronged her in a life, and I am in this life to like correct that and be there for her and support her in a way that she will need whenever that is, because she was saying how her five-year-old will like look at her and say, Mommy, I love you so much. No, I thought that was so weird, but sometimes I don't like you and I don't know why. And I just thought that that was a fascinating sense that this little girl is like so in. I mean, what a poignant way to say something as an adult, let alone a five-year-old, but right that you can feel such a soul connection to someone that you can like know for sure you're meant to be in this life together as these two people. And this is something that we talk about all the time because we obviously feel that way, like about our relationship. We feel like our souls are truly connected and like we are meant to be on this earth together. Like, I always joke that I'm meant to be on this earth at the same time as Beyoncé and like how lucky I am to experience life at the same time as her, but like in a not slightly different connection, a little bit of a different connection, but in a not so similar but similar way. Like we feel very strongly that our souls, this is not the first time our souls have been connected on like a life journey and not to get like overly spiritual and crazy. But the idea being that, like, you know, first that your soulmate doesn't necessarily, or there's not only one, first of all, it doesn't need to be a romantic partner and what that means to be in it, yeah, as a mother-daughter. Yeah, because we definitely experienced a little bit of the I love you, but I don't like you part of the soul's connection. And a lot of that that conversation I found so interesting because Morgan was kind of like, yeah, and sometimes I feel like, you know, like Ro is her daughter, will act out and like I'm supposed to parent her and tell her that that's not appropriate, but I also know that I'm the only person that she can be like that with and then kind of have to like take it on the chin and be okay with it because she needs to get that out. And I feel like you were 100% that outlet for me. Yeah, and obviously, like I was never like that to other to outside people. No, but we had, I mean, people used to hear us speak to each other and be like horrified.
SPEAKER_03Is I remember a certain person who I will not name, but a certain my one of my very close friends' husbands was like, you need to like get her fix that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03When you're especially when you were a teenager, and it's so interesting because I was thinking about this and thinking about doing this this podcast, and I was thinking about you won't remember this, obviously, because you were very little. We went to therapy even before you went to therapy. We went to see that therapist on Huntington Pike, that guy. I just remember fighting, yeah, like like you were, I don't know, six. Yeah, and we were like fighting like crazy.
SPEAKER_01It was like in like one of those like houses.
SPEAKER_03Yes, yes. And he said that our connection, he's like, ignore what's happening. You what you have to like look at is the connection between the two of you. And what he said was if somebody or whatever, an alien from another planet who didn't understand English or whatever, and couldn't figure out whatever, yeah. Whatever, because you know, theory, obviously, like if we're yelling, you would understand. But his point was the two of us, when we were in that, were locked on each other to the exclusion of everything else that was going on, and just like completely connected to each other. And I was thinking about that the other day because I hadn't thought about it in like the longest time. And I was like, and then I was thinking about like, what do I think? Because I do do believe in all the past life stuffs, like what, like there's no question. Like, I'm sure you are my mom in another life because like you have so much of it because of the way that our you know, and because basically, I mean, look, there was a period of time where I wasn't maybe the best mom, we can say that now. Not the best. There was a little checked out. Um, but you know, it's interesting because you know, like well, we won't get into the whole thing. And like, I sort of became that mom figure when my mom was a little checked out, and then I sort of did the exact same thing. And you know, sometimes I think about like, you know, somebody was a different podcast that I was listening to. Uh, they were saying, like, do you have any regrets about being a parent? And I said, and I was thinking about it, and I was like, for the most part, no, I think I was an awesome parent. I mean, I, you know, I I didn't like exist completely to serve you guys. Like, I obviously did stuff for myself, and I was, you know, a you know, a single and trying to date and whatever. Yeah, there was a lot going on. But um, there was a period of time when I was a little crazy and I was a little absent. And I I sort of look back on that time and think, like, I maybe needed it for myself, but like I probably didn't do it in the best way.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I mean, I I think of also that time though, as like so like developmental for me. Like, I was so like unbelievably independent and like did everything for myself. And not like I obviously didn't like provide for myself. You didn't I wasn't like not with you, I was like being very well taken care of, but like yeah, just small things, like I was, I think it it made me in part who I am now.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I also think to your point, like in that in that time when you were like kind of you know free of clearly like a very hard situation that was going on in our household, that is when when I kind of took on that, like, oh, okay, so then I'm gonna be in charge. And that fueled right kind of the rest of my time at home, like my adolescence pre-college, when I really now what I find is so interesting, and you tell me if you think I'm wrong. Like, as crazy as this sounds, I don't remember our relationship when I was in college. Like, we were we were definitely not obviously. I mean, we we're close to like a concerning degree sometimes, but like we were not this close.
SPEAKER_03No, so I think because um, well, yes and no, not the way we are now, but you also have to remember that that was you know, Jake wasn't still in the house, yeah. He was taking up a lot of energy, and then you know, and then I was with Rich.
SPEAKER_01So, but like you're not single now.
SPEAKER_03No, but I mean, I think, but there was also a whole thing with you and Rich and jealousy and whatever. And also, I mean, you were down at school, dad was very like right.
SPEAKER_01Well, so very what I was thinking about, like I ate dinner with dad once a week when I was in college, like I did not do that all the time. He would take all my friends out, like, yeah, and it's not it was not like a competition of of closeness, obviously. Right, but I was really thinking about it. Like, did we text every day when I was?
SPEAKER_03I'm sure we did, and I'm sure we talked all the time because I mean I think about it, like I remember when you guys were living in um what the heck, Parkway House? Yeah, well, not Parkway. Right, and I I was probably less involved. I think I got more involved at that point, like when you were at Drexel, I kind of feel like I was in college, right? Right, and then like things got you know crazy because then you know, like when Rich died and you were on crazy.
SPEAKER_01I mean, then I think everything so this is what I really feel like, and I was kind of timelining this like in my brain. So when you and dad separated, I blamed you for like the dissolution of our family. And that was also at the same time that you were kind of like, okay, I gotta go be like, gotta go with my life a little bit.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_01And I held a lot of like resentment towards you, and that's when I feel like I was acting out a lot at the beginning. I was probably, I can't imagine I was really not nice. And so, like, in talking about this soul's purpose, like you being you, kind of let me be that way. You let me feel all those things of like anger and blame, whether right or wrong, but you let me pass all of those emotions, which I think is the only reason that I ever overcame them. Like if I was told at that time that I wasn't allowed to feel that way or that blame wasn't fair, or that you know, being angry, blah, blah, blah, I don't think that I would be the way that I am about it now, which is that like, thank God you left dad. He never would have gotten sober, our life would have been completely different. But yeah, I don't think I would have had that perspective at that time. Yeah. Also, fast forward, you and Rich get together, and I, he and I completely butt heads. Again, like you allowing me the space to have the feelings that I'm having. Like this man moves into our my childhood home, and I'm like, bye, like you don't get to tell me what to do, which probably in broad in the you know, zoom out not appropriate. Right. But I think that you kind of fought for me to be allowed to have that right feeling about it. Then boom, Rich dies. And then I think the purpose reverses, right? And I become the holder of our soul connection in that time when you needed me.
SPEAKER_03When I needed you, yeah, and that I think was like it was such a beautiful way of saying that.
SPEAKER_01But you know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_03Like, I do, but it was beautiful. I love that.
SPEAKER_01Well, thanks. And then I really think, and I don't know if this was like we were meant to not only be this version of ourselves in this lifetime, but we were meant to go through COVID when we went through it because you and I never got our time alone alone without Jake. Without Jake, who I mean, I love my brother to death, but especially then he was very different and he demanded a lot of attention. A lot. So I moved home and we lived together just the two of them.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we say it was the greatest gift. I mean, it was COVID was horrible. It was you coming home and us being able to spend that time together was amazing.
SPEAKER_01And I literally think like that was the time that our souls both completely rested and were able to be like, oh my god, okay, this thing.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_01And now we will forever agree. Like our souls are just always at rest with each other because we were able to like solidify it. I'm not saying that we would have not been this close before because we still FaceTimed a million times a day before COVID and blah blah blah, all those things. Right. Yep, I agree. There is a I don't know, I just think that it was meant to happen that way.
SPEAKER_03And like well, you know, I believe everything is like the universe works all that stuff.
SPEAKER_01Like, not that I would ever wish COVID on anyone or again to happen.
SPEAKER_03No, and it's not, it doesn't have to be like that, like, oh, it was caused because no, it's just it was an opportunity for us to like sort of really come together, yeah. And like, yeah, I know I totally I look, I a hundred percent believe in that. I mean, I remember when somebody said to me, there are certain people that you you live many lives with, and like the idea is it's these group this group of people, and and there's obviously depending on who you are, you know, it's like you know, it's not quite like clear because you could have your group of people, right? And I have my group of people, but it's all somehow connected, like in with like a hub and spokes and things like that. Yeah, and you go through all different lives in and being different people to each other. I mean, who knows? You and I could have been romantically connected in a different way. It's like I have no idea.
SPEAKER_01I think that there's like you know, there's a level of connection that you feel with someone that just it can't possibly just be described by the fact that we're mother-daughter. Like it uh, you know, mother-daughters, like you know them that don't have connection like this. And again, I wrote this, I like made up an Instagram post for us today to introduce us, like, not that it's like a competition, and I'm not trying to like hit us against other mother-daughters, yeah. But like I see some people interact with their moms, and it's just I I don't want to be like, oh, I feel so bad for them, but like it makes me like so. It's just different, it's just so different. And we were at when we were at this wedding last weekend in Lake Placid, Elaine, who has a very close, similar relationship to her mom, like she like gave this wonderful, beautiful speech about Matt and their love and whatever, and then she like turned to her mom and was like my best friend, like my true soulmate. Like, thank you for everything that you did. And I'm like weeping. And I'm like, of course I'm weeping because I just knowing that.
SPEAKER_03You didn't say that to me about at your wedding.
SPEAKER_01I didn't make a speech.
SPEAKER_03I know, I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_01Um no, but I do think that you know you get to choose who you marry, link yourself to romantically. Like Peter is everything that I would want that relationship to be. And he, you know, when dad died, not that we have to get into it, but like I think that we are soulmates completely differently, right? Because of when and how he came into my life and why and what he has given to me as well.
SPEAKER_03And I believe that he was brought into your life so that you could get through that experience.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And I think that that's a completely separate, but just as meaningful connection. But the only explanation that you can give to the deep connection that you and I feel of a non-chosen relationship is that we must have like deeper rooted connection than just this life that we are living in.
SPEAKER_03I hundred percent believe that. There's like not a question in my mind. And it's so funny because like the somebody was talking about like, do you believe that you choose? What was like I get they were talking about like, do you all right? So they were saying, do you think like, do we did we like when did we choose each other? And I was like, well, I like that I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Like, I mean, who knows what other lifetimes and what other like a catastrophic event in another lifetime that then ties us together, that then like you know what I'm saying? Right, or is it just that's how it's written? In whatever way you believe, right? We're we were we're always gonna find each other in whatever lifetime that whatever lifetime. Like in some way, shape, or form. Maybe it's literally as like colleagues, like that support each other during one time, one presentation. Like, I just I think that there is always connection between the two of us somehow.
SPEAKER_03I was thinking about it because you know, I was like, oh, like other lives, whatever. And I was like, because remember, like we taught when I talked about this with you, where you were like, I if I if I'm not if I'm not going through the other life knowing it's me.
SPEAKER_01Right, I don't want it.
SPEAKER_03I don't want it because like if I don't realize it, and I get that because like on a certain level, you're like, yeah, like if I don't, if I you know, you that's your conscious awareness, like then you're like, ew, like if I don't have that, then what is it like how does it help me?
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_03But I think the thing that you have to trust is that somewhere there is a deeper deep, deep inside of your soul, deeper knowing. And it's not about like, oh, um Nancy and you're Leah or you know, whatever. It's that we are at like that most connected place, intrinsically linked to each other, like in a way that is completely unique. Yeah, yeah, 100%.
SPEAKER_01And I also just think like it's it's not there are relationships where you're connected in that way, and it can cause you deep like sorrow and pain, and it can be really hard for you. And I'm sure that that time will unfortunately eventually come in life where you know the the depth of our closeness will actually be the reason for hurt and pain. Unfortunately, it's inevitable.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but Well the end part. Well the end part.
SPEAKER_01That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_03But what I but you know, like a way to look at that, I mean you know, it's not very satisfying in this moment, but it it is like I'll just I know I'll see you again.
SPEAKER_01I know, just like not as Leo and Nancy, which like that's painful, that's painful, of course. And like, look, not to say that I don't like I I lost my dad, like at a very young age. Like I know what it is to lose a parent, and I loved dad more than anything in this world. But I'm not thinking to myself, like, but I'll see you again. Like, it's just it's not even like I love him to death literally. But there is like uh, and again, it's not a comparison. I just think like maybe we were this is the first time our souls ever crossed, and now we'll cross, and 50 like lifetimes from now, I'll be talking about that the way, like you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I don't want to like speak poorly of daddy, you know, he was no, no, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_03Well, also it's different, like mother's daughter's different than it is, you know, father-daughter, different than mother-son, and I have a very close, close relationship with Jake.
SPEAKER_01There's just, you know, it's I told you, like, my two friends who are um boy moms, yeah, were like so teary about the episode because they're so they they're so like just like oh like just overwhelmed with like the emotion of of experiencing the like adult mother-daughter, which I used to always say because I was such a terror to you specifically, specifically, I only want to have voice, like I used to say that all the time, forever growing up, and now I always say, like, how could I possibly deprive myself of like the joy of a mother-daughter relationship? Like, uh whatever, God willing, and I'll take what I can get, healthy, lovely babies. But I'm just saying, like, if I had my choice, I would never deprive myself of a girl, even if there's years where it's tough. Because look at this.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, look where we are, look where we are.
SPEAKER_01So to thunk it.
SPEAKER_03I mean, us, us, well, other people, maybe not so much. Yeah, I love that.
SPEAKER_01Me too. So I just thought it was a really especially as like an early pod episode just for us.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it sort of establishes like our like the baseline of who we are.
SPEAKER_01I think it's like that we're not just like you know, like, oh, let's chat when we chat. Like this is like because when we talk about things, we talk about them like in depth, in depth, and like people who really get each other.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01How do you feel?
SPEAKER_03I feel good. Me too. I love that. It was really I love that for us. It was, I mean, I don't know how anybody else is gonna feel about it, but it made my heart so like, okay, we got it. We get it.
SPEAKER_02Like you guys love each other. Shut up.
SPEAKER_03You're so annoying.
SPEAKER_04You guys are really close. We get it.
SPEAKER_03Well, that's okay. We'll have other topics that might be more entertaining, but I love this for us, and I do think for an early one, I think it was a really good one. I have to like, we're gonna have to like go back and I'm gonna have to listen to you were holding our our soul or whatever you said, which was so beautiful.
SPEAKER_01I just love that's I need to paint this, it's driving me insane.
SPEAKER_03Okay, well, perhaps by next week for our next episode.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I will.
SPEAKER_03Okay, very good.
SPEAKER_01Well, I'm gonna go make salmon for dinner. Oh my gosh, that's so funny.
SPEAKER_02So am I.
SPEAKER_01What are you doing?
SPEAKER_03It's our souls. Salmon. I'm gonna do a salmon teriyaki bowl.
SPEAKER_01We do like, yes, we do like little make your own sushi. Like we get like the little strips of seaweed, and you put rice and cute and avocado and then raw or cooked. So we I haven't gotten any like sushi-grade salmon recently. So I just do like coconut amino, sriracha, hot sauce, and uh just like put it in the pan.
SPEAKER_03Right. So I have mine in the bowl now, marinating.
SPEAKER_01Will you air fry it?
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna cut it up, then I'm gonna air fry it. I think the air fryer is probably the best way to get like a good well, it's nice because it's got the teriyaki and you get like get the crisp on the outside, and then you put it on the stovetop. Right, right. So it gets you just do it, and then we'll have some rice and a mommy. I'm gonna cut up some carrots, some green onion, a little avocado, a little spicy mayo on top.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so we're having the same dinner, yeah. I mean, of course, guys, we told you it was real.
SPEAKER_03Um, all right, sweetheart. Okay, enjoy dinner. Love you, love you.