Fellowship

We weren't made to grow alone. God himself exists in perfect community, Father, Son, and Spirit, and he made us in that same image. This episode explores why we need safe, authentic relationships to truly grow: from research showing what happens when human connection is missing, to Jesus's own example of doing life closely with a small group of friends. It's an invitation to pursue real fellowship, the kind where we can be fully known and still fully loved.

Transcript

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Remember that the basic categories for creating an environment for growth are focus, fellowship, and fasting. Today we are talking about fellowship. We all need community. In 1944, a study was conducted to examine the effect of withholding affection from infants. Twenty babies were put in normal caregiving situations, and 20 were given all their physiological needs, but with minimal human touch. The study was halted after four months when half of the babies in the no affection group had died. Human beings literally die if they can't interact with other humans. But, you object, what about hermits and people stranded on desert islands? They still have their memories of human interaction. Remember Tom Hanks in the movie Castaway? Remember Wilson? Wilson was a volleyball that Tom literally made into a human surrogate when he was stranded on an island for four years. He drew a face on the ball and made hair out of plant material. He had many conversations with Wilson. It's not too much of a stretch to say that Wilson kept him sane. Community is an important aspect of society and many religious traditions, but it is not just a cultural artifact. Neuroscience has determined that community is an important part of a person's well-being. In the field of interpersonal neurobiology, community is seen as one of the foundational aspects of healthy humans. In some mysterious way, our minds interact with other minds, and all the minds involved can be enriched by that. Conversely, when minds don't interact, mental health tends to deteriorate. We shouldn't be surprised by this. If humans are made in the image of God, one of the aspects of that image is community. God has revealed Himself as three persons in one essence. A reality that we as humans find hard to understand because there is nothing in our experience that is comparable to the Trinity. This should not be surprising. If God is big enough to be the creator of everything, then there should be aspects of his being to which nothing can be compared. But he has revealed himself as three persons, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. At the same time, he has revealed himself as one essence, one God. In some mysterious way, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are in perfect community with each other. And we, as his image bearers, are made for community as well. If we purposely create an environment that includes a community of safe people around us, we will grow more. I say quote unquote safe people because that is important. We all need at least one or two people who are safe, people with whom we can be ourselves, people who we know will accept us even if they know everything important about us. Melinda Joy Mingo reflects on this reality. It is doubtful that any solitary person can reflect God's character on their own. God's image comes to expression in community and especially in our friendships with others. The journey of soul growth doesn't occur in isolation, but rather through our relationships with others as our lives collide in our everyday dealings in a broken and hurting world. The truth is that relationships as a whole can be a bit messy, and learning how to truly relate to others takes time. But I believe most people are looking for genuine relationships and community. And relationships can be very beautiful and rewarding and reflect the heart of God for all humanity. Jesus gave us a good model of community. We tend to think of him as always preaching to large groups of people, but he spent most of his time with 12 of his closest friends. They traveled together, ate together, and lived together for three years. In that group, Jesus had a few guys who were his closest friends, Peter, James, and John. These were guys with whom he felt the safest, with whom he shared everything. These were the guys who saw him on the Mount of Transfiguration, who saw him sweating blood in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus had a best friend, John. John sat next to Jesus at meals. John asked Jesus questions that no one else dared to ask. It is no coincidence that John was later known as the disciple of love. He had learned how to love from Jesus. If we want to create an environment for growth, we must have a healthy community. This doesn't mean that we need to find perfect people. What we need are a few authentic, grace filled people who tangibly demonstrate God's radical love and acceptance of us.