Ep 15 Pigeon Holed Podcast - Death Row Meal

Welcome to episode 15 of the Pigeon Holed Podcast - David gets poisoned from overeating Sausage Rolls, Tait’s still on his push up binge, fast food amnesia, airport food, audio notes, David’s blue steaks, Death row meals, Tait admits he would become Homelander from the boys, slap fighting and much more.

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Dave and Tait

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

We're on David.

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the Pigeonhole podcast with me and him. He is Tate. I'm David. Uh, we've been away for a bit. We've had a bit of a break, which is a normal amount of time for normal podcasts, but we record like 16 of these a day, so it actually feels like about six months for us, doesn't it? It's been a week. Yeah. So I think it's been a week. It's true.

SPEAKER_03 0:23

It's been I think over a week now.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

Well, I I was gonna have to cancel today because last night I had a terrible case of the brown apple splatters, and I thought I don't know if I can I didn't even know if I'd make the drive here.

SPEAKER_03 0:38

Really?

SPEAKER_02 0:39

Yeah, I had been pissing out of my ass. And then I sent messages to the people that I was on a gig with on Saturday. So on Saturday we did this theatre out in Northam, um, which you were supposed to be on, um, but weren't more of a three-minute man now. So I uh I I messaged everyone and said, like, hey, did the sausage rolls give you guys the shits? And then Luke Bolland was like, No, but I didn't have 27 of them. Oh yeah, that might have been it. I think I just ate so much because obviously they're they're only small, but they're full of but they're mighty, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Yeah, I don't know what is actually in a sausage roll. It's mince, mince, pork mince, or some sort of mince meat, but it's I don't know what the filler shit is though.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

Yeah, I have no idea. I don't want to know either, by the way. If you don't tell me, I don't want to know. I don't eat them a lot, and when I do, I want to enjoy them. But they brought out like you know those big tote boxes? They brought out one of those filled with sausage rolls and pies. Just for you guys? Yeah, just for us. They brought it into the green room, and I think they'd been like selling them all over outside in their big like tent thing, but then they just brought these in for us. And I looked in and there was quite literally like a hundred and fifty sausage rolls or something, about this big, and uh eh, uh, and then however many. I didn't touch the pies, but I did I did touch the sausage rolls, Tate. I touched them quite a bit, in fact.

SPEAKER_03 1:59

I was just trying to work out the math of how many you actually ate.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

I probably had 30, I reckon. Yeah, yeah. I reckon I had about 30 of them.

SPEAKER_03 2:07

And then they caught up with you.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

I think that's what it was. Like, nothing about it at the time said that that was the problem.

SPEAKER_03 2:14

Yeah, yeah. Keep eating, David. Keep eating. It is weird how you like sometimes when you eat you just regular food food and then all of a sudden you you're like, why am I dying? Yeah, like what what has happened?

SPEAKER_02 2:26

I I do, I think it has to have been that, and it has to have been the volume of what is pretty fucking high value food. You eat clean though, fairly clean.

SPEAKER_03 2:37

I don't. I could eat 8,000 of those.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

We were just chatting about and it wouldn't impact you, you reckon?

SPEAKER_03 2:42

No. That's crazy. I think I had vegetables last night and then had diarrhea. I think that's the uh my body's gone the complete opposite now. We had a traditional um like pumpkin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck is this? We my housemate made a delicious like silver side roast actually last night.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

Oh, yeah. I don't like silverside at all.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

It's it's probably one of my least favourite ones, but it was still good. It was very good, actually.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Just saying that in case he watches, you know, when I seem ungrateful.

SPEAKER_03 3:09

But uh you did a fantastic job, Carl. Keep it up. Um, but there was pigs in blankets, yeah. Uh the Yorkshire.

SPEAKER_02 3:17

It's sorry, but it is crazy that he does pigs and blankets for every roast because this seems to be like a weekly occurrence in your house now. Yeah, it's true. And pigs and blankets are like a once-in-a-year thing, they're Christmas and Christmas only, they're weekly. That's that's so good. How nice, how yum are fucking pigs and blankets.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

They are pretty damn good. Just fucking pork wrapped in pork. Yeah, it's so good. For the people who don't know, it's like a mini sausage um and just wrapped in bacon. I had never had one before he moved in ever. They're so good. Yeah, it must be like a delicacy in the UK. One of your cultures, one of your many cultures, a pie floater, jellied eels, and uh well, Yorkshire puddings are actually fucking delicious.

SPEAKER_02 4:00

They're so good. Yeah, we were talking about this in the in the green room because there was a Scottish guy and someone else uh in the in the green room on Saturday, and uh we were basically talking about how Scottish food is just deep fried, like everything. Yeah, it's just as Alan Parcher said, it's cholesterol, Scottish people eat it. Yeah, like deep fried chocolate bars. Have you ever tried that? I know that anyone Scottish watching is gonna be like, oh, that's a touristy thing. No, I get it, I know that they do it for tourists, but you go there, you try you it's intriguing, so you do try it, and it is fucking hideous.

SPEAKER_03 4:33

Oh, like hideously good or hideously bad.

SPEAKER_02 4:35

It's horrible, it's bad. It's just it's melt the chocolate in the middle is all like soft and gooey and stuff, but it's in battery.

SPEAKER_03 4:41

It's like the savory and the that sounds horrible.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

No, that's I like chocolate, I just don't want it deep fried in fucking batter. That's weird.

SPEAKER_03 4:49

There are some things that go a bit spazzy when you you cook them, and then when they cool down and stuff, like chips, cold chips are insane. How they just go from a different, like completely different food altogether.

SPEAKER_02 5:01

They go from being delicious to fucking disgusting. Yeah, and reheat them. You can't eat them. No, reheat them, you can't, you can't.

SPEAKER_03 5:05

It's it's this anomaly that we have in life. That's I think where the simulation's broken.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

McDonald's fries, for example, like when they're piping hot in the box, they're great. They're like the probably the nicest, in my opinion, fast food fries are McDonald's fries. As soon as they hit room temperature, they are inedible dog shit. Yeah. And that to me is insane. You're right.

SPEAKER_03 5:26

There used to be like um a few drinks back in the day where on the label, when it would hit a certain amount of like coolness, cold, yeah, it would um go like blue, and that was the optimum like drinking temperature. Oh, really? Um, I think they have it with a few alcohols and stuff like that in the States, like malt liquor and stuff like that. Um, but they should have that with like Maccus fries, but it's like a health bar. Yeah. It just goes down, down, down, down, down, you're like, fuck, it eat. Throw these away. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

It's uh Pepsi Mac is definitely a drink that needs a cold like barometer on it because once that stops being if it's cold, it's amazing. If it's if it's just even slightly, you know, like closer to being room temperature or anything other than ice cold, it's it tastes like fucking dishwater.

SPEAKER_03 6:13

Yeah, it is strange one.

SPEAKER_02 6:15

The carbonation, too, like more so with that drink than anything else. The carbonation is fucking everything. Flat di uh flat Pepsi Max is like piss.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

It does go flat very quick. If you're a Pepsi enthusiast or you work there, stop doing that.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

Just stop doing it, make it better. No, I do. I love Pepsi. Pepsi Max is like my favourite soft drink. Me too. Fucking delicious.

SPEAKER_03 6:36

If they could sponsor us, it'd be very nice.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

Don't don't, because I would drink way too much of it.

SPEAKER_03 6:40

I'll take his share, I don't give a shit. Whatever he doesn't want, I'll have. I am still on my push-up kick.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

You are?

SPEAKER_03 6:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:47

Nice. Because you've been doing what are you up to now?

SPEAKER_03 6:51

Uh it's like, well, today I missed yesterday. I have to do 300 today.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

So it's 150 a day.

SPEAKER_03 6:58

Pretty much, yeah. It's 3,221 or something for the.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

Why don't you just do 3,000 of them today and then you don't have to do much for the rest of them?

SPEAKER_03 7:07

If I could, I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

How many do you because you asked me the other day actually, in a I think in a voice note or something, you was like, how many do you reckon I could do? I don't think I answered you. But I can do 3,221. No, I think I can do about 25 to 30, like decent form.

SPEAKER_03 7:22

I so well, let me put a disclaimer on that because everyone will be like, bullshit fatty, that you could do 150. I do prison style, like a little like. Yeah, short, sharp. Yeah, yeah. Like I could not.

SPEAKER_02 7:34

So you're not going all the way down and then yeah, fully extended.

SPEAKER_03 7:36

I'm not fucking, I can't do that. I can't touch my toes. You think I can bend my elbows that far?

SPEAKER_02 7:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:42

No. It's a push-up. It's too much weight. My top half is massive. More top heavy. Okay. I get this mushroom. How are your elbows? My feet don't support me.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

How are your elbows and your shoulders holding up with all the push-ups are they like shoulders were really sore?

SPEAKER_03 7:57

Yeah. Like at the start, like the first four days. Like really bad. Um everything's now come good besides like my abdominal muscles. Like really, really stiff and sore.

SPEAKER_02 8:12

You don't even realise that you're doing them. Yeah, yeah. You don't even realise that you're doing it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:15

And now it's just, yeah, disastrous. But I'm back on a fitness kick. So I I'm I weighed myself today, I was 124.1 kilos. For you American people, that's like 5,000 pounds. Um so I want to get down to I'd like to get to a hundred kilos before the end of the year. So what are we today? June or something. Something. Yeah. Middle of June somewhere. Yeah. So that would be nice. It's just like you know, there's deep fried Mars bars and stuff out there coming at me.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

It is difficult. They make everything taste good, unfortunately, apart from all the fucking healthy shit.

SPEAKER_03 8:52

But I'm just a drive-thru fiend.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

Really?

SPEAKER_03 8:55

I like I can't get enough of that sweet sweet drive-thru.

SPEAKER_02 8:58

I th there's definitely a shitty fucking habit that we get into. I think we've even talked about this before on here. If not, we've just mentioned it to each other. But there's a shitty habit that you get into doing gigs and then going home. You don't want to cook when you get home, or if you've you know you live with other people, you don't want to make like shitloads of noise or whatever. So you just go, I'll I'll stop at the drive-thru, and then you end up getting ridiculous types of food, maybe a mountain types of food at fucking 11 30 at night or whatever. It's never good.

SPEAKER_03 9:28

It's great. Oh, sorry.

SPEAKER_02 9:29

Yeah, no, it's it is great. It is it's fucking fantastic, but obviously it's not good for us.

SPEAKER_03 9:33

And I keep I I've fallen into the trap now, whereas like I keep trying new shit.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 9:39

Like there would be something new on the menu. Well, I come here so much, I might as well try the new thing.

SPEAKER_02 9:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:44

And then I've like started to dip into like desserts and stuff. And then that's the real bad one because it's just like heaps and heaps of calories and like dense little things. Yeah. You get some like ice cream or a pie or something, like a chocolate pie.

SPEAKER_02 10:00

What are we talking about? What's the um which particular drive-thru are we gonna be going to? Is it McDonald's?

SPEAKER_03 10:05

Whatever is open.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

Because you like KFC a bit, don't you? I have not had KFC.

SPEAKER_03 10:11

They want to sponsor us. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 10:13

I haven't had KFC in two decades. I reckon. It's been so long as I've had KFC. Just it's not, it doesn't do it for me.

SPEAKER_03 10:22

Well, we had it in Melbourne together, so you're a filthy liar.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

Did we?

SPEAKER_03 10:26

Yeah. And you were like, I haven't had KFC in years, and you're like, this is delicious. I see why you always have this. What did we have? What did I have? Uh some boxed meal, some delicious boxed meal.

SPEAKER_02 10:38

Yeah, we did, didn't we?

SPEAKER_03 10:39

We ate like absolute shit in Melbourne. I brought you down to my world. You know when Joe Rogan's like, I'm gonna bring you to my world, pain, and I'm just like, we're getting out.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

I tell you what, I was so grateful that we didn't discover that burger place with the cookie place right next to it until like the day I was leaving.

SPEAKER_03 10:56

Yeah, that was crazy.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

Or the day before, or whatever it was. So we went to this burger place and it was fucking sensational. Um, and then we noticed as we were going in that there was that cookie place next to it. It's crazy. Did you had you eaten at that cookie place beforehand or no?

SPEAKER_03 11:11

I I'd sort of done the once the year before and was like, I can never come back here ever again because I uh they're like eight, nine bucks each, but they're like this thick, that round, gooey, like they were amazing.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

Oh, and I had like a triple fucking cheeseburger at that other place as well. It was crazy, and fries and everything else. I was just like, oh, I'm not gonna be able to fit in these cookies. And then between leaving the table and getting to the door, I was like, Well, better get these cookies.

SPEAKER_03 11:41

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a short fucking eight-minute walk back to my house, and it's like, that a cookie place? I better try that. Yeah, we ate like we were getting back, obviously, from like you were doing the lounge so much, and we were getting back what 10 30, 11 o'clock most nights at the earliest.

SPEAKER_02 12:00

Straight to McDonald's or apparently KFC.

SPEAKER_03 12:03

Pizza place.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

How many times do we have KFC? I don't know if genuinely don't remember. We had it once.

SPEAKER_03 12:08

We had it once. Because I remember you going, I can't remember last time I had KFC. I think it's genuinely been I wonder how often I've done that though.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Maybe I've had KFC like re a lot and I just blank it out every time.

SPEAKER_03 12:17

I've only been married once, I think. Kids in some other country, like Papa.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

Forgot about them.

SPEAKER_03 12:24

Yeah, yeah. I think we do that shit all the time.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:27

Yeah. Well, when it's you honestly think it's real. You know, it's like there's no point to fucking lie about it.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

Well, I'm I'm not trying to hide it because like I eat other fast food like freak, well, not frequently frequently, but that's the only thing you seem to eat. Yeah, but I have started to uh venture into the Hungry Jack's world because I realized that the burgers at Hungry Jack's for the longest time I was like, they're shit because I went through the logo.

SPEAKER_03 12:52

That's not the motto.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

McDonald's. I'm enjoying this. Um I went through a Hungry Jack's uh drive-thru or something once and got like an Angus something or other, yeah, and I I swear to god it really tasted like rubber, and I was like, Oh, this is fucking terrible. Yeah, this is the worst thing I've eaten, and I was hungry too, and I didn't I had like two bites out of it, and I was like, fuck this, I'll go somewhere else. Um but then it was at the airport coming to see you.

SPEAKER_03 13:24

So the airport started this whole thing.

SPEAKER_02 13:26

The airport started it. I there was nothing else, it was just Hungry Jacks, and I was like, fuck it, I'll have Hungry Jacks. And it was just a fucking piping, hot, fresh I think it was like a triple cheeseburger or something. I always just go like the tallest fucking cheeseburgers you can get. And um, it was so good. And it was huge too. It's not like yeah, it was like, yeah, it was massive. Yeah, they're good. So good.

SPEAKER_03 13:47

I I've got a weird thing. Every time I go to the airport, I always get fast food. Even if I'm on like a health kick or like whatever, I always get health uh like always get fast food simply because I think to myself, why would I eat healthy if the plane went down? It's like a weird last meal. I always think I always go like, well, you might as well.

SPEAKER_02 14:08

Just in case.

SPEAKER_03 14:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:10

You know, you could be on some flight in India, you know. You know last meal.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

I I do eat fast food at uh um at airports mostly because if you go somewhere, let's say, even if you just wanted like a sandwich or something, yeah, it's like$63.

SPEAKER_03 14:27

Everything, I know because you're trapped in there at some flight prison, but it's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

But fast food prices aren't much more expensive than they would be outside.

SPEAKER_03 14:35

They might be don't even know if they really are. Like much more. Yeah, that's what I mean.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

Like if if if you were gonna spend$15 normally, it might be maybe$20.

SPEAKER_03 14:44

I reckon the price must be I don't know. I I feel like that's their thing. They sort of just keep the same price. Yeah, well that would make sense. Um because it doesn't really like inflation doesn't really hit. Like you go, like, oh, we're struggling with lettuces, they're ten thousand dollars at the supermarket. You go to Macca's, you still get lettuce in your burger. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like the other not too long ago. I went to KFC and they're like, We're so sorry, we're out of lettuce.

SPEAKER_02 15:12

And we're like, I did not come here for lettuce.

SPEAKER_03 15:14

It's not it's not called Kentucky fried fucking lettuce. Like, like I'm fine with that. And they're like, Do you mind if we just put coleslaw in it? And I was like, Yeah, go nuts. I love coleslaw, and it was the greatest burger I've ever had in my life. It was a little slider, actually.

SPEAKER_02 15:29

Do you mind if we put extra popcorn chicken in here instead?

SPEAKER_03 15:32

Oh no, fine. Yeah, it was so good. It was so good. While we've got some you sent me some audio notes.

SPEAKER_02 15:39

Oh, yeah. Listen to the last one that I sent you because this the seven-second one, yeah, it doesn't have any sound bar on it.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

Well, we'll see if it's it'll be fine.

SPEAKER_02 15:49

But this is evident that we have gone global.

SPEAKER_03 15:52

Oh we're just getting sued McDonald's being like, Stop talking about us. Hang on, hang on, folks. How about that? Tommy Lee. Um, thank you so much for sending that in. Uh that that was uh we will release the hostages when we get the chance.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

That was Nelly from uh from Korea. Well, and I think the good career as well, by the way. I think it's the good career, not the naughty one. The naughty one. Um can't be the naughty one because she's got an internet connection and can send stuff and she can listen to this show.

SPEAKER_03 16:34

So definitely I'm gonna translate that to like help me get me out. They're after me, David. Uh, did you did you ever get a translation to actually what?

SPEAKER_02 16:46

I didn't really care enough about that. I just wanted to let you know that we've got we got Koreans, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:51

Nice, yeah. So we've had I think so far, a few Australians a few Americans, Brits, Korean now. Canadians, Canadians. That's about it. Pick up your game everywhere else. Yeah, Jesus. Um who do you want me to do this other one?

SPEAKER_02 17:11

Yeah, go for it.

SPEAKER_03 17:14

Also funny if it's more languages we can't understand. I actually can't remember what that one is.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

Sorry? Is it yeah?

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Uh hey fellas, what is going on? Love your work, love the show. And uh got a bit of a question for you that I want to get your thoughts on and uh see what you guys reckon and see if I'm I'm the weird one because I definitely don't think I am in this situation. So uh I was having a conversation with my mate a couple of weeks ago and um I asked him if he were to be uh say you're in prison, you're getting the electric chair, and you've got your choice of a final meal. What would you pay for? Now I would think most of the people we kind of have a list of about half a dozen things that you like. Let's say if it's like a main course and a dessert, and you probably choose one of those dishes. It can be from anywhere, it can be from your most favourite restaurant in the world, it doesn't matter. Let's just pretend that you know you can get it. Anyway, so I would have a few different things that I would think about and uh yeah, I would choose one of those. And I'm like just take one. And he says the guard, he would rather not eat or let the guard in this situation choose what he eats. And surely this is this is ridiculous. Surely not all of us think like this. I would think so. Isn't that what food dropping is? Food dropping is kind of like you know what you like and you're buying it to enjoy later on when you get home or for the next few days, right? So I kind of want to know would you be able to pick a final meal? And if so, what would it be? Or am I the odd one out in this situation?

SPEAKER_03 18:56

I I now know why your friend's in prison because they're a psychopath.

SPEAKER_02 19:00

I I know what I would pick. I would pick something that tastes like shit, so I was happy to die.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

Oh really?

SPEAKER_02 19:07

I'd be like waiting for the release of death. Just fucking fry me now because I've just eaten like camel shit.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

What about the ultimate boss move and you just like can I have a big old serving of poison? And then you you go out on your own shield, be like, yeah, you didn't get to do it. Fuck you guys. Yeah. Um, I don't know what I would go for. I I reckon it would be a mixture of heaps of stuff.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

It would. It wouldn't be a it like it wouldn't look like um it would look like somebody let a toddler pick what because I would have actually I'll tell you what I'd have uh French fries and peppercorn sauce, but I would also have like mashed potatoes. Yeah, yeah. Tons of mashed potatoes. I'd have a a a blue, maybe like porthouse steak.

SPEAKER_03 19:46

Can we just jump onto that one? So you eat your steaks like they're fucking like legitimately for the people who don't know what blue is when it comes to cooking steaks, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

It's practically raw in the middle.

SPEAKER_03 19:57

So I want it sealed properly. You leave it out of the fridge, yeah. So it's not cut like cold at all.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Yeah, because otherwise it when you if you cook it the way I cook it, then it would be cold if you got it out of the fridge.

SPEAKER_03 20:11

That's I I I there's a lot of foods that you don't eat that you're like, ah, I'm not a big fan of that, but then that is just blows my mind.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

Well, it's it's interesting because I used to have my steak like medium well. I think that's where I started, medium well done. It's crazy, and then progressed all the way to the point of, and obviously blue is down to interpretation. There's some places that won't even do it blue for you for that reason, basically. Like they don't want it cold in the middle, they want it left out, not killing other bacteria, whatever. I if it's like like I'll see people having like a medium steak, that's what a fucking waste of steak that is. Like you've oh no, it's such a waste, but and it tastes so different, it tastes like a different food all the time.

SPEAKER_03 20:57

I know because it's cooked and that's how it's supposed to be. You just might as well walk up to it and just bite it, like the cow.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

It is weird because I wouldn't eat so weird. I wouldn't eat it raw, like it does have to be sealed on either side, but I'm well aware that in the middle is is raw. It's it is raw, but it tastes so good that way. I like genuinely tastes incredible.

SPEAKER_03 21:18

I like how we're finally, you know, majority of the podcasts have been like, hey, Tate's a psychopath, he's killing off his. No, no, so many people are on my side. He's killing rats. There's there's people on my side now, for sure. I'm building my own small yet mighty army of people that think David's a psychopath.

SPEAKER_02 21:38

I think most people still believe you're the psychopath.

SPEAKER_03 21:43

Yeah, yeah, I get that.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

I think people think you're the psycho, you're probably the most the more liked one. You're but you're you're you're definitely the one that everyone's like, this guy's a fucking lunatic.

SPEAKER_03 21:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

I I think people are on my side though about a blue steak or a rare steak.

SPEAKER_03 21:56

I reckon blue, no. I reckon surely the percentages. The people that eat blue would be pretty small.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

To be fair, most people do think it's weird, and I've never understood that, but we're appealing to the Koreans now, so um I think they're they're more likely to. Anyway, last meal, what are you having? By the way, that was uh that was Nick Babbage um from Australia, as you could probably tell from the accent. Um, I I don't think you're the weirdo for for knowing what you would eat. Because I do uh when you said it's like food shopping, I agree. I think that's yeah, yeah, that's kind of what it is. It's like, well, you're not hungry now, fair enough, but like what are you gonna want to eat for the rest of the week?

SPEAKER_03 22:32

That is very true. I also will say, was it Nick? Nick yeah, he spoke very well, yeah. Yeah, but I don't know what Nick does, but he's like he spoke very fluent, clear. Not like the last lady. Not like the last lady. I was gonna say, I did just tell you he's Australian, like this is his native language. I meant like as in like he wasn't particularly, yeah. Okay, I don't know words, yeah. He's he wasn't umming and arring um some of the voice notes we'll get later on.

SPEAKER_02 22:59

Um he's very, very smart, dude.

SPEAKER_03 23:01

Very smart dude. Okay. Um, last meal probably would be a mix of a bit of sushi. See, you don't like sushi. Um, but I get like the western. If I gave you the sushi I had, you'd be like, this is just rice and meat. Yeah, you know what I mean? I don't go raw fish and all that shit. Like I'm I'm a Western dog. Um definitely some sort of ice cream, some chips for sure, like hot chips. Some fruit. Probably wouldn't eat it, just I would like to appeal to, you know, whoever's making it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that's pretty. Um maybe just a bite of like watermelon or something. What did I say? Sushi, definitely some sort of fried chicken. Maybe some good cuts, some KFC.

SPEAKER_02 23:47

Um, I would definitely have a cheeseburger as well, actually. I definitely have a burger as well.

SPEAKER_03 23:54

I might even have just a steak there. Medium. Is it medium? Or medium rare do I go? I eat steak so late like never.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

Really?

SPEAKER_03 24:06

Yeah. I don't think I've ever cooked a steak for myself.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 24:10

Yeah. I don't think I ever have actually.

SPEAKER_02 24:13

I eat quite a bit of steak.

SPEAKER_03 24:15

Yeah, but you're a healthy gym man.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

A big fan of steak.

SPEAKER_03 24:18

And I'm not. I'm a chicken man. I'm all day chicken. Yeah. The bachelor's handbag, you know, from the you never heard of that? No. It's just a chicken from the supermarket. You know, like in a oh, the the cooked chicken.

SPEAKER_02 24:32

Yeah, yeah, rotisserie chicken. Yeah, yeah. That's good. Yeah. What about fish? Are you a fish guy? I fucking love fish.

SPEAKER_03 24:39

I don't mind a fish, but once again, wouldn't even know how to cook it. Oh, okay. Yeah. Just pan fry it. My mum makes a really good one. Can't tell you what sort of fish it is because there's 2,000 million of them. Yeah. And but it's yeah, it's so tasty. Paramundi. That's a good fish. Yeah, it is. Yeah. I like baramundi. Yeah, we're just naming fish. Uh thank you, Nick. That was awesome. That's actually a good thinking question.

SPEAKER_02 25:03

He actually, right? He he said he said another one, and he goes, but he goes, he goes, I I wanted to ask you this on the podcast, but this is something that I heard on another podcast. But I love it anyway, so I'm just gonna repeat it, right? He he said wait, can we just stop there for a sec?

SPEAKER_03 25:16

Sorry. So what did Nick say?

SPEAKER_02 25:17

So he goes, This is from another podcast, but he goes, um Is it gay if five if five guys yes it gay if five guys have a picnic? And what I thought was quite interesting was that it really does depend on the logistics of the picnic. If five of you have like a blanket and sit down in a park or whatever, it's pretty gay, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 25:42

Super gay.

SPEAKER_02 25:43

But if what if you've got chairs? What if you've got five deck chairs and you just sat around talking and drinking beers? It's fine.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

It is, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 25:49

It's fine, it's quite literally the seating arrangement.

SPEAKER_03 25:52

If I it's funny though, because if I saw five women sitting around a deck chairs having a pickwick, I'd be like, Lesbians. Look at those lesbians, yeah. Yeah, it's so funny. But if it was women, because I always see pictures on my Instagram and blah blah blah of having a shakerie board in the park. Yeah, which it looks love. I wish I did that gay shit all the time.

SPEAKER_02 26:12

If my a security board, if my mates I hate when my wife like half sisters will come around and her mum.

SPEAKER_03 26:18

That's on my fucking death bed for meal. What a security board. Yeah, yeah, just a little bit of fucking cheese. Yeah, but it's I hate when they go something like a grayson.

SPEAKER_02 26:28

I I hate when they when they'll be like, oh, this is dinner. I was like, that's not a meal.

SPEAKER_03 26:31

That's just oh no, that's not that's not a meal.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

That's just crackers and a bit of fucking cheese and some fucking fig whatever. Oh, figure.

SPEAKER_03 26:37

But I do I I do like all that like pastrami, hair.

SPEAKER_02 26:41

Uh I hate all of that. That's the thing. Those those meats, pastrami and the whatever the fucking the other I don't like any of them.

SPEAKER_03 26:48

I think it gives me gout. I reckon I could like pinpoint that sort of fatty sort of meat. Yeah, no, Nick, that's a good question. I know you heard it on another podcast.

SPEAKER_02 27:01

Um, that's and it's funny because like even you know, five guys picnic chairs, that's kind of okay. But if one of them breaks out like a wicker picnic basket, that's so gay. You're all gay then by association, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:16

Yeah, one in all in, I think.

SPEAKER_02 27:17

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

No, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

Like, if you're lying down with your buddies in the park, if you're all lying with like one elbow propping you up, yeah, it's so gay.

SPEAKER_03 27:29

Pass me the plastic cup, I want to put some wine in here. Yeah, so gay. Yeah, and if you're eating grapes, that's just gay.

SPEAKER_02 27:35

Yeah, especially if you're feeding them to me. Like, that's pretty gay.

SPEAKER_03 27:38

That if I won the lottery, definitely I'm getting someone to feed me grapes. Yeah. Nah, it'd be KFC. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

The um feed me more teasers.

SPEAKER_03 27:49

We I think we spoke about on this podcast earlier episodes if we won the lottery. Yeah. And I was talking about like buying homes and stuff. Well, I think I said that I'd buy nightclubs and then film for a dog so people couldn't do illegal raves because I don't like nightclubs. But um I also said that I'd die if I won the lottery because I just wouldn't have a routine, I'd be you know, just uh everything to excess. Yeah. Um a dude, an Adelaide dude, won when he was I saw that, yeah. Yeah, his last$12 or whatever, he won$22 million and he died.

SPEAKER_02 28:24

What happened to him? Because I don't know how he died, I just saw the headline, didn't read anything else because what would I too much fun? Was it?

SPEAKER_03 28:30

Yeah, did he just fucking all out? He's running out of fun, he died, his heart exploded. No, he um he did have a lot of health conditions anyway.

SPEAKER_02 28:40

But did he buy like$22 million worth of like cocaine? Yes, yeah, is that what he did?

SPEAKER_03 28:45

Yeah, yeah, he did. Yeah, he he bought lots of drugs. Um, and like they at one point the police actually went to his house, I think, when he was live, allegedly. Um, and he was always like already sort of in a spiral. His friends were like, hey, clean up your act, you know, you're gonna die.

SPEAKER_02 29:06

Yeah, or get the will in order.

SPEAKER_03 29:08

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, yeah, I did that's I would be so shit like that if people were telling me what to do. I'd be like, here's a hundred dollars. Go away, shut the fuck up, roll it up and do some cocaine with me. Yeah, I couldn't, I just yeah, I I just don't think I'm allowed to be rich in this lifetime. Two things I'm not allowed to be rich, like real rich, yeah, and a superhero.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

Why not a superhero?

SPEAKER_03 29:35

Because I'd be bad in two minutes. Yeah, I would be like, someone would be like, hey, and I'd be like, don't fucking talk to me. And I'd pull their eyes out. Like, I just couldn't be, I can't be trusted. I can't. I just I know I know deep down inside I can't be trusted.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

I do I do think that if like say for example, I'm Superman, right? If I'm Superman, I'm not fighting crime and trying to like end wars and stuff, I'm breaking into banks and stealing shit and and all like I'm do you do you need to break into banks to steal stuff?

SPEAKER_03 30:08

You're superman in this, you don't need money. You walk in and you go, This is my house. You don't buy it. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 30:16

Like you don't need anything, but if you wanted the the like the other life where like to an anonymity, yeah. So where your clerk can where your clerk can, you're not attached to any of that stuff. The house that you've bought is the house that you've bought that Superman stole the money from. Do you know what I mean? Like if you wanted to keep it separate, if you just were like, I'm David Houston, I'm Superman, fucking deal with it, then yeah, I guess you could just I would I would shave my head so I couldn't even disguise myself. Buckingham Palace is mine now. Yeah, I would.

SPEAKER_03 30:44

I'd be like, hey, you know how you guys used to live here? Yeah, the fuck out, like invade another country like you used to. Yeah, like you usually do daddy's home. Yeah, like I would be such a horrible, horrible like person. I'd just be I'd just be taking shit. I'd be walking into people's house at dinner time, like, what are you making? I'd spine like it would be Hey, what are we having for dinner? Yeah, yeah. It would be insane.

SPEAKER_02 31:09

Like, who are you? And then evaporate them with that with your laser eyes. That's who the fuck I am. What's for dinner? There's more of it now because they're not around.

SPEAKER_03 31:15

I'm here Homelander from The Boys, is it?

SPEAKER_02 31:18

I haven't seen it.

SPEAKER_03 31:19

It's uh I I think he's I've seen the first season, he's like Superman.

SPEAKER_02 31:25

Right. And he's what's his name? Homelander.

SPEAKER_03 31:29

Yeah, he's in it. It's supposed to be like all American sort of okay Superman. Yeah, you can get he's flying lasers and shit, but he's bad in it, like he does bad stuff on the side. He's got a he's got this sort of facade in front of the cameras, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then on the side he's doing really bad shit. Yeah, yeah. Cause he can. Yeah. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 31:50

But that's like with the whole politician thing. You know, like you Putin. Or just just all of them, like how they present to everyone. Um how they present to everyone versus what they do when no one's watching.

SPEAKER_03 32:03

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:03

And when you have like so much power and money, like I I'm not saying I excuse it or but I do understand it. Like I do get it.

SPEAKER_03 32:11

Yeah, a hundred percent. Like you're uh essentially dictators in like not even third world countries, but they are sort of they have the benefits of it being a superhero. Because it's like, well, I'll just get my murder squad to murder you.

SPEAKER_02 32:29

Yeah, but uh my point is they all have it. President of the US, like the presidency, like they it's it doesn't have to necessarily I know it looks like there's more of a disparity when it's third world countries, and then you've got like your president or prime minister living in a palace or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 32:42

But I think you can do really bad stuff if you're in those, you know, like Saddam Hussein and stuff back in the day. And yeah, I don't think Trump's like you uh well, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 32:53

That's the thing, yeah. That's the thing you don't know because we were told about the Saddam Hussein stuff, and we're not told about he was just blatant.

SPEAKER_03 33:00

Yeah, do it openly.

SPEAKER_02 33:03

But we got told those stories so we felt a certain way. Yeah, how much of it is true, you don't know, and then how much of it doesn't happen on our side, you don't know. Because if you live there and you're like, you know, yeah hearing stories about our presidency, like, oh yeah, they go and fucking kill Oh yeah, true.

SPEAKER_03 33:21

The narrative's always gonna be against they're the bad guy. Alright, here's one for ya you rub a lamp one day, yeah, and you get one wish. We're not doing peace, we're not doing any of that stuff. One thing that benefits you, or let's just say in this world, your son has a fantastic life, he ends up being whatever he wants to be, your wife lives to 250 years old, all your family's fine. How is that good? I gotta be with her for 250 years, you crazy. You might not, you might die, Ellie. You get to whatever you get to like, you know what I mean? Like you don't don't do the shit ones.

SPEAKER_02 33:59

Yeah, generational wealth. Okay, that's that's it. Generational wealth.

SPEAKER_03 34:03

What number is your generational wealth?

SPEAKER_02 34:06

Like say like 500 million. Okay, which to be fair is probably not even generational wealth the way I would spend it, but yeah, just uh like enough money so that I didn't have to do anything that I didn't want to do for as long as I am alive and I could look after people like properly. Yeah, okay. That's the only side of it that's slightly altruistic or not, like you know, super selfish, but it would be so that you know if you've we've got friends who are trying to like do brilliant things, like how great to give them like fucking here's here's half a million dollars, go and do your fucking thing. Go do your little jokes, go tell your little stories, yeah. Um, so there's that side of it, but the selfish side is just so like I could say no to all the things I want to say no to professionally.

SPEAKER_03 34:54

Yeah, yeah, true.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

What about you? One wish.

unknown 34:59

One wish.

SPEAKER_02 35:01

I know you're just gonna make your dick bigger. And it's not even gonna be by a lot either, is it? No, it's by a lot.

SPEAKER_03 35:07

It's by a considerable margin. Um, one you'd say probably get the feet fixed would be an idea. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 35:17

I'm not doing that. Um But generational wealth, you can have your feet fixed.

SPEAKER_03 35:22

There's a weird part of me that just wants to be like ungodly strong.

SPEAKER_02 35:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:27

Like Hulk strong. But I wouldn't have any use for it. What I would like to do is not look super strong and then rock up to all these like gay fucking strongman competitions, and they're like, Yeah, you gotta fucking pick that up, and I'm like, see ya.

SPEAKER_02 35:42

What about the one the uh the slap a face slapping one that they do? Have you seen that? No, because I killed people. Yeah, that'll be fun.

SPEAKER_03 35:48

Yeah, I could just wish I could just wish to the slapper.

SPEAKER_02 35:53

Um those are crazy, by the way, while we're at it, those face slapping competitions.

SPEAKER_03 35:58

I start, I I get in a weird rabbit hole where I just watch them and I just I don't know what I'm gonna expect from it, and then someone gets slapped in the face and I act like I saw it for the very first time every single time. And my brain can't condition itself to be like, I know what's gonna happen. It just someone gets slapped, and I'm like, oh shit, like I should be screaming World Star every time.

SPEAKER_02 36:23

I love the edits, and not the ones where it's like they fall back and they're like mixing a cake bowl or anything like that. But you know, like yeah, they're amazing, they are fantastic. Yeah, they're so good. But I saw one the other day where it's only a slight edit and his eye is up into his forehead. I'm like, is that an edit? It's gotta be, surely.

SPEAKER_03 36:42

I've heard people say that he broke his orbital bone, but I don't know why it would go up because orbital's here, yeah. Or here? I don't know if I'm not gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_02 36:50

I think it's I think it's that. I think that's the orbital. I don't know. Actually, no, is it oh, it doesn't matter. In any case, that's surely that's surely not real. Are you telling me that might be real?

SPEAKER_03 37:02

I someone was saying that on a thing, but I don't understand how that would happen.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

Yeah, I don't either. I just thought it was a very funny edit because I saw it. I was like, that's great.

SPEAKER_03 37:13

That's that's gonna be the worst CTE thing inducing because obviously, boxing, you lean into the punches, you not lean in, you lean away from bad boxer, apparently, but you know, you you you try your best. Yeah, I'll break his fist with my head, Homer Simpson. But like that sort of stuff, you that is literally staying standing there and getting smacked in the melon.

SPEAKER_02 37:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:38

Um, a kid just died from that run it straight challenge. Yeah, I saw that. That's horrible. Just fucking straight.

SPEAKER_02 37:44

I didn't even know that was a thing until I saw the story about him dying.

SPEAKER_03 37:47

Yeah, and then you're like, get it on TV. Yeah, but it's uh it's a lot of fun. My housemate was saying that um I don't know if you ever did this, I never did it. We I never had this sort of friendship group, but they would do the thing where you would breathe in really deep and out, and a person would push on your chest and then you'd pass out. We didn't do shit. And he's like, Yeah, I remember I did it once, and I just like they showed me a video of it, and I like it was just convulsing on the ground having a seizure. Amazing. And I was like, What? Why what you never did it ever again? Oh, we did it a few more times. I'm like, Jesus, bro, fucking we're just idiots. I don't know what my one wish would be now that I know so. It was your question. I know money. Why do I need money or power? You have money.

SPEAKER_02 38:41

Well, if you have money, you have power.

SPEAKER_03 38:43

It would be cool as fuck to have so much money and no one to know, like you know, like Brad Pitt's got a lot of money, right? But he's Brad Pitt, everyone goes, or Justin Bieber, he can't walk down the street without people like mobbing him.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:58

But could you imagine just having enough money to do whatever you wanted and then generational wealth, that's what I mean. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:05

To never have to worry about anything ever again, and not even worries in like our bills, mortgage, or that sort of stuff, but like whatever you want, you can just have, and whatever you don't, like I said, whatever you don't want to do, like someone's like, hey, Tate, can you do this gig for us tonight? It's like$400 or whatever. It's like that's that's a decent amount of money for 10 minutes, but I don't want to drive that far and I don't want to perform to those people, so no, I'm not doing it. Be in that position.

SPEAKER_03 39:31

It would you can I ask, would it be a different answer if you didn't have a wife and a child?

SPEAKER_02 39:37

No.

SPEAKER_03 39:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 39:39

Because not, I'll be honest, I'm not even thinking about them necessarily in this.

SPEAKER_03 39:44

You heard it.

SPEAKER_02 39:45

I'm thinking more. What I am actually thinking is like how I used to I my my biggest thing was like I just want to be a professional writer more than anything else. And even if whatever that job is, as long as I'm writing stuff and I'm creating stuff, that would be my dream come true.

SPEAKER_04 40:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:01

And then as it's sort of gone on and progressed, now it's like, you know, sometimes a job comes up and I'm like, I really don't want to do that.

SPEAKER_03 40:08

Yeah, just a job.

SPEAKER_02 40:09

Yeah. Just because it does, it like it becomes like the normal job, and there's things that come up where you go, I don't want to do that, but the money's really good, so I should do that because working my old regular job, it would have taken me six months to earn this much money.

SPEAKER_03 40:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:21

So I I would love to be in a position where I don't have to do anything unless I really wanted to do it. Like if your heart's in it.

SPEAKER_03 40:28

Yeah. Yeah, that's fair.

SPEAKER_02 40:30

Because I would still do, I would do gigs for free. I I would do gigs, I wouldn't care. I'd I'd I'd do all the gigs that I still do now.

SPEAKER_03 40:35

That's fair. For the longest time, I always wanted to know everything.

SPEAKER_02 40:40

Yeah?

SPEAKER_03 40:41

Yeah. I but then I was like, uh, that's not the best because you'd be eating your cereal and you'd be like, oh, mum loves sucking dicks. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 40:49

I was gonna say you'd be really distracted just in general, but yeah, mum loves sucking dicks.

SPEAKER_03 40:53

Yeah, it'd be so shit. Like, yeah, there's a there's a TV show called True Blood, and you Snooky Stackhouse, which is like the lead character, she can read people's minds. Yeah, no, it's horrible because it's like the entire time because she's an attractive woman. Yeah, everyone's like, I'd love to suck on those tits and this and that.

SPEAKER_02 41:12

That's uh Matt Parkman in uh in Heroes, he can read people's minds, and then he learns that his wife had been cheating on him.

SPEAKER_03 41:23

Yeah, that's not fun. But it'll be good to oh if I could turn it on and off. I think it's a superpower, I I'm getting teleport, I'm going with that. Lock it in, get the genie thing out. Um that's pretty much it for this episode. Alright, sweet. Um, thank you so much. Please keep sending in your um messages. Thank you to Nelly and Nick.

SPEAKER_02 41:46

Send Nelly and Nick. Send send uh the foreign ones as well. We love 'em.

SPEAKER_03 41:51

Yeah, yeah. We'll try and decipher them. We won't. Um let us know what you would pick. Let us know any questions. Like and subscribe, tell your friends, tell your family. Um feel free to go into your work bathroom and a picture of a pigeon on the wall with a hole in it. And then just and then yeah. And then just uh you know, just just be you. I need a better sign off. Don't be a fuckhead. All right.