ADHD & Autism at Work: Navigating HR, Documentation, and Accommodations with Marcus Tiberius

"What happens when you spend your whole life sensing you’re “different” — but no one gives you the language for why?

In this episode, Marcus shares his journey of being late-identified as high-functioning autistic and ADHD — and the  reality of finding out his family “always knew,” but chose not to tell him.

We talk about the quiet ways neurodivergence can show up when you’re not framed as “a problem,” but you still feel the difference in how you process, relate, and move through the world. And we follow the moment everything changed: a job that wasn’t the right fit, escalating anxiety and depression, and the decision to finally advocate for himself at work — which triggered a formal accommodations process that felt confusing, chaotic, and painfully slow.

Marcus takes us inside what people don’t see:

The emotional toll of navigating HR and invisible systems

Why accommodations can take months (or more) even when they’re legally protected

How to protect yourself with documentation (and why journaling your internal experience matters too)

The power of having the right people in your corner: a supportive doctor, friends, family, and therapy

What it looks like to stop suppressing who you are — and choose self-advocacy instead

This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt trapped in a process they don’t understand, trying to function inside systems that weren’t built for their brain or their body.

It’s also a reminder: advocating for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s stabilizing.

Marcus closes with the kind of grounded wisdom that only comes from lived experience — and a vision for what he wants to build next: using what he learned to become the person in someone else’s corner… the one who doesn’t quit on them when they’re ready to quit on themselves.

If you’re navigating diagnosis, accommodations, burnout, or the quiet grief of being misunderstood — this episode will leave you feeling less alone, and more clear on your next step.

To connect with Marcus: marcuskilgorekm@gmail.com

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi Marcus, I'm so excited to have you here on the Beyond the Mind podcast. I'd love, I love the bits and pieces that I've heard from your journey. So I'm so excited to chat with today because I think what you're going to share is just a great example of, you know, the journey to understanding ourselves and advocating for ourselves to ensure we can reach our full potential. So I'd love if you could just introduce yourself and just yeah, tell our audience a little bit more about you.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

Uh thank you. Essie, thank you for having me. Thank you, listeners and the digital divide who listened to this podcast. Uh, thank you all for inviting me to be part of this experience. Uh my name is Marcus. Uh, grew up in a Bay Area, uh, did my thing, you know, started as a young kid, became an adult, did all of the things in order to be the man that I am today. And along that journey, I realized something about myself. And what is the point of this podcast? Is my own diagnosis. So I do have a high functioning uh autism and ADHD. There is a journey, a pretty long journey, on how that came to be. And that happened to a started in my childhood. Now, young Marcus was going about the world, you know, doing everything a kid would do, sports, video games, you know, doing all the stuff that kids would do. And I learned through whispers that, you know, Marcus would act like this sometimes, or Marcus would do that, and I just realized, like, that's odd. Like, I wonder why they would well mention that. I I kept notes in my mind, this would benefit me later in life. And as I became a teen and young adult, I realized that there was I felt something about me was different. And I used to think that all was I depressed, or was it just something like wrong with me? Like, why was I feeling this way? It wasn't until a going into a job that it turned out wasn't right for me in my situation. And through that process and through talking with my family members, they realized, oh yeah, Marcus, you have autism and HD. We just thought you knew. And I'm like, guys, fam, I a little heads up would have been really cool. This one guy right here, it would have been nice if I would have known about it. That might have helped.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

So I I want to hear more about this because it sounds like I mean, as a kid, you were you were pretty observant of like, hey, there's these adults around me that are like kind of singling me out for for some reason. And I know when we chatted before, you were saying you almost recognized that you were like getting grouped into like others like you. Um, so tell me more about like that experience, you know. I'm wondering also if you knew that did you think that they had some answer about you that that I guess you didn't know?

SPEAKER_00 2:47

Oh, great questions. Uh to the first point, I I knew that something about me was different. I just didn't know specifically what to call it. I just knew that just the way I perceived the world, the way that I would think and interact with people, not that it was terrible, it was just different. And I knew that just because it was different didn't mean that it was bad. But I just didn't know what specifically to call it until me know much later in life when everything was figured out. But and this leads to the second point that you mentioned. I felt that family members did they know yes. I even had one of them told me, like, yes, we all knew this about you, we just figured that it was better for your wife to not tell you in the hopes that somehow, some way, you know, it will lead to a better life. And as any person out there would know, when you tend to bottle secrets, when you tend to bottle things up, it tends to come out. Whatever is in the dark is going to come to the light. I've seen that constantly with situations from other people on a whole variety of issues. Whenever you keep something inward and suppress it, there's wife will respond accordingly and it's going to come out. And it did for me not in the best way. It took a very difficult job situation in order to begin this path and also get my family members involved to where I learned of my diagnosis.

unknown 4:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

So I'm like a half glass full type of person. There was some good that came from this, and knowing as I got this diagnosis, more of who I am. It's like the old saying, you know, knowing thyself is where the path for healing and growth starts from now knowing fully who I am as a human being. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

I love that. I I also think it's kind of unique that you said, you know, you were different, but not bad. And I know in a lot of people who are like late diagnosis of you know, like a neurodiversity or a learning disability, uh, they often get the message that they're different, but it is bad. So, what do you think was like was contributing to like this kind of unique situation that you had, but it's what it's different, but not bad? Like it it sounds to me like that dialogue of whatever's different about me, I need to hide, like didn't come in through your experience.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

Uh that's if you could just rephrase that just so I understand it.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

Sorry, it was like I tend to be kind of verbose, it's my ADHD. No, no, it's okay. Um so yeah, I was just connecting to where you said you grew up knowing you were different, but not bad.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Right, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Yeah, I wonder if you could just like tell me a little bit more of what it's like to when you feel different, but not bad. Like, did you feel like you had to hide the pieces of you that were that were different?

SPEAKER_00 5:31

Uh, thank you. Thank you. That is a great question. I knew growing up there where there were some successes. I I I'll freely admit this, I didn't fully love myself. It took so much waiter in life to get to this point where I fully love myself and just don't give an F what other people generally have to say about me at this point. But at that time, I knew that yes, I was different. The way I perceived the world, the way I would act, the way I use my senses, the way that I would navigate things, it was different from other people. And it didn't mean that in a bad way, it just meant, and I was fortunate enough to have some people that from like now into like my like early professional years that knew that you just operated on your own frequency. That doesn't make you a bad person.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

Yes, you you know, you have responsibilities that have to be accountable like everybody else, but it didn't mean that you are inherently a bad person. It just means your perspective of the world is going to be different from most people's, and that in a bit of way can be a good thing. And in the right hands, and I've been praised with this at certain jobs, your unique viewpoints can even be a benefit or an asset because you won't look at situations, tasks, challenges the way that other people would.

SPEAKER_01 6:45

You know, you like you're going into such a big important topic of like how important a culture is that we go into, right? And how they see how how they even like have an already existing belief about differences are good, you know, versus oh, nobody can be different. So you'd mentioned that you had had a difficult job situation that really connected to this journey of your your like diagnosis, at least to yourself, where it was validated to yourself. I'd love to learn more a little bit about that. Like the challenge is like kind of how it it led to connecting the dots.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

Oh, yeah, I can uh halfway share on this. I'm well beyond at this point, and I'm happy to talk about it. It was a role that while was fitting at the time, it wasn't a great fit at all. Just due to lack of support, lack of resources. I just my mind just wasn't able to understand the position. And what I mean by that is I I did the best that I could. I I owned for everything that I did right and did wrong. It just the position just was not a good fit for me. And I realized that something about the situation about me was was off. And so I decided to speak up and say I've always known this about myself that I had this, you know, autism made DHD accommodation. I w I let my manager know, and that ultimately went to the process of me being placed on leave, which was actually in in hindsight good for me because it gave me time because I suffered depression. It was not it was a very difficult, difficult time in my life that I got out of, but it was a very I had to deal with a lot of depression, I had to deal with a lot of anxiety over this role. But glass half full type of person, after you know, during this time I'll leave seeing a psychiatrist, I realized, oh no, you clinically have altitism in ADHD. And that turned, some people may be shocked to hear this, that actually was one of the best days of my life because it was me advocating for myself and validating what I internally knew that I always had. And that's what actually began the course of me realizing I had this diagnosis. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

I mean, I see that you you already like do such a good job of like knowing that a positive will come out of a negative situation, that there's growth. You know, I think a lot of us that go through difficult chapters have kind of lived and learned that like the toughest challenges lead to like our best growth, right? And you I can just relate to you in in that context of learning through these types of situations. But I imagine like in the moment you go into you know your boss's office and you're kind of like sharing this awareness about yourself, and then all of a sudden you're put out on leave, which must have been a surprise. I guess was it a surprise?

SPEAKER_00 9:36

And it it was, it wasn't a good feeling at the moment, but I realized it gave me time off, which was paid. So I want to make that clear. This was time off that was paid. Thankfully, I accrued enough sick time that I was able to take this time off and work through getting this diagnosis with a psychiatrist and also work on taking care of myself. Making sure, you know, did the usual eat well, exercise, meditate, take walks, do the best that I can so that once this diagnosis was in place, I was fortunate enough that in some places we'll do this as part of the accommodations process, do what's called an interactive process. So to basically help you if a job's not right for you, they can work on a search to find you another job which would be a suitable fit for you, given your your situation. And that's what happened to me.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

Got it. Okay, yeah, thank you. That's it, that helps me like see the bigger picture of like how that all that transitioned. So I just want to make sure I'm I'm kind of understanding it correctly. It sounds like you already had like you know, a little bit of ongoing like depression or anxiety coming up, and then you you you kind of knew that there might be something underlying that was just contributing to like how you were relating in your environment. And so because something was there was like a struggle, you went and had a talk with your manager, and it sounds like like all of these pieces kind of came together, but the route like just quickly went into going on leave and finding an option. Um wow, I mean, that did that feel fast, or did it feel like natural and normal, or did it feel kind of rushed and chaotic, like you were wondering what was happening?

SPEAKER_00 11:21

Ah, that that's a great question. In the beginning, it felt very chaotic because I've never experienced it before. Yeah, it was just like, and I didn't have a choice, we're just we're just gonna place you on a weave, you know, just go and go and do your thing, and then I'll be having a meeting with the psychiatrist to figure all this out. Yeah, and so while in the initial stage it was difficult, I was able to work with a psychiatrist, use this time to the best of my ability to just decompress, get away from work for a bit, and evaluate my own future, and so that once I got the proper diagnosis, we can then begin the interactive process, search for a new job, which all eventually worked out.

SPEAKER_02 12:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

So in the beginning, it was a tumultuous time. I didn't know how like what would happen if I maybe don't get a diagnosis or I don't have a job, what I'm gonna do. But uh thankfully, um all of that worked out for the best initially.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

Yeah. Your your uh story is making me think a little bit about the experience that I've been navigating for the past couple months, and and where I can really resonate is it it kind of seems like we go into these um organizations that have have dedicated processes for how to handle it. But that's right, we don't know what those are, and we don't like like so. You kind of like enter into this process, and for me it's felt like like it's just some maze ride where I'm like, I don't quite know where I'm going, and I don't know how much further there is to go, like what's next, and then what's two steps after that. Um, I'd even call to just understand if there was like something documented somewhere about this overarching process, and I was just missing it, you know. And I don't know, it's fluid, you know, it kind of evolves. But what I had to learn from that experience is like it's really unsettling to be in that like kind of situation because you're like things are moving forward fast, but you kind of like have no control of what's happening because you're invisible to what the process is, you know.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Yes, exactly. It's like something is navigating you along, and you're like, I don't know if this is a good ride, if it's turning into a bad ride, like it's you know, that can be it's a scary, it can be a scary, difficult place to be.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

Yes, yes, oh my gosh. Um and there's no time really on your side, right? You're kind of going with somebody else's timeline of how fast or slow things should move forward.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

That that's exactly right.

SPEAKER_01 13:50

Yeah. Okay, so amazing. And then you you got into like a great place, great support team, and then came out of it and thought it sounds to me like you were like, phew, that worked out really well, even though I didn't know where it was going.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

And the in an initial bit, I did land on my feet. I was able to get the diagnosis and then move on to a new position. And then eventually later on came a whole new set of problems. And what I mean by that was prior to getting the role that I'm currently at now, I was told by two people, I won't mention their names, but they specifically mentioned to not disclose to my new employer that I have this diagnosis and to not request accommodations, which I went at the time was like that like you sure about that? Because I don't believe in suppressing things, it doesn't genuinely end well for me, family members. I can't think of a good fictional story where suppressing things and bottling in ever ends well.

SPEAKER_01 14:49

But I'm just like it's amazing that you knew where you stood with that because you know, a lot of people on their journey are are really like, I don't know where I stand on it. Like, do I even want to disclose it or not? I don't even know if I want to. And then if the environment is not supportive, I don't even know how I want to handle that. So it's not it's good that you at least knew where you stood on. Do I disclose or not? But did they have some insight on that other department? Or was this kind of like general advice? Do you think?

SPEAKER_00 15:19

Ah, that's a fascinating question. I it's difficult to say if this was just something they told me for God only knows a variety of reasons. Maybe it could have been like because of some discrimination on my accommodation, or it could have been for my race. I have no idea why they gave that information. And I turned out talking to other people that it was not something they should have done. So I don't know if it was just a like this is a market situation or this could have been advice that they told other people.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:49

That would be fascinating to find out. I I won't know. But what I knew was that that was told to me, and even then I just realized that didn't make sense.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

And while I was doing fine in the current role initially, I realized I'm gonna need to solve this if I'm going to truly move forward and be the profession I need to be. So about six months in is when I said, like, I know who I am, appreciate the advice, but I'm going to ignore it and I'm gonna utilize my internal resources and I'm going to get the help that legally is entitled to me. So I went out and I spoke to my manager and then to HR to begin the process of requesting accommodations.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

Wow. Well, I mean, it's amazing that you are so grounded in your own values. You know, I just I didn't learn about my own values until much later. And then I have found that just knowing them have has just been really incredible of like just knowing where to steer. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So how did that go when when you now met with your new manager and with HR and asked for accommodations? Like, did you did you already know what kind of accommodations you needed? Or were you like, I know I need something, but I don't know what?

SPEAKER_00 16:59

That in of itself was a challenge. I had to work with my primary care physician. So, and talk discussing that with him, who I will say as a side note, he has been fantastic. And I actually need to tell him this, but he's been a lifesaver during this process. Together with him and some resources I found online, I was able to write down and articulate the specific accommodations that I needed, such as you know, additional time to do tasks, you know, adjust the schedule, have breaks, have an updated schedule that's gonna allow me to function. I was able to do all that. Where the issue came in was working not just on Android, but particularly HR. It started this process in March of actually this year, and it didn't take until God, this week for that whole process to be done. Yeah, and this involved like getting the accommodations, working with my primary care physician to get official documentation, going to HR, realizing oh, this isn't enough. So we have to do this again, and then getting the proper documentation in HR, and then working with there's a new HR person, and then them being slow, and it took in God, at least a few months just to finally get momentum on this process. It in my in my eyes, it took much longer than it should have to get all this wrapped up.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Yeah, you know, I feel like you just made a really important call out that people don't realize, like a lot of people, if they just like let's say change jobs within an organization, like just the most basic situation. If they were just doing that, it's pretty straightforward, right? And with yours, like one, there was the um hurdle of when you like shared and then were going through this process to get to like the next opportunity that was a good fit. But you know, you seems like have a great um organization that you work for that like helped really facilitate that and um you know like that there were opportunities there, but then it's like even then there's all these different things that do you have to consider, like you knew your values, so you knew I'm gonna share, but then other people would really have to, you know, weigh that out. And then you also knew that you needed some accommodations and like luckily got the support to figure out what they are. But I think a lot of people who don't maybe have these these like neurodiversities and need like I guess differences, they're probably like, well, what's the big deal? You just go get your accommodations, or you just go tell them like they don't understand the lived experience of like actually going through the journey, you know. And like you said, it's you said May until December basically.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

I take until this week, like literally like Monday of this week. And I've heard from other professionals, while it is a process, it taking this long, I instinctively knew was outside of the norm.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

So if you're taking the entire time from getting into the position, which was last year, until now, it took at least a year and a half to finally get all this wrapped up. And that's been some concern of mine, and it's raised several questions as to why one was I told not to do this process before I got the current job that I have. Yeah, and then two, why did it take so long to work with HR to finally get this all wrapped up? It just it felt to me like the process could use some massive improvement, just from a from a human perspective. Yes, things will take time, but there's a human on the other end that while all of this is going in is dealing with the impact. They're not performing adequately at the job that has you know mental, physical, emotional, spiritual impacts on not getting needs that I believe the American Disabilities Act entitles people to such protections and to such accommodations that are reasonable. It's raised a lot of concerns about that process. Yeah. And what other people who may also be going through this process.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

Makes perfect sense. You know, I know sometimes it's not clear of like what's what's a reasonable accommodation. Like, did you have people that could help answer that question for you, or was that an issue ever of like, hey, this ask that you're making seems like it's too much?

SPEAKER_00 21:13

That's that's the part where I had to once I get my primary care physicians to sign off on accommodations, work with HR to get them implemented. The one thing that people should know is while they're not while your place of employment is not entitled to give everything you want, like I want to work from home five days a week. Yes, that would be great, depending on the needs of the operation that may not happen. So, why you can't get everything, there should be a good faith process to get accommodations that's going to benefit the employer, and more importantly, in my eyes, benefit you.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

And yes, right.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

And I I know you had said earlier, like sitting where you are now, you have so much that you've learned through this journey, and you had just offered some great advice for others going through it. Like, I'd love to hear more.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Oh, I'm I'm happy to share. So like And good news, this process did go through. I was able to meet with my current manager. Manager to this process is moving on. So I'll be able to meet with HR and who will become my manager regarding accommodation. So that part was great to finally get some validation. What I will tell people who are navigating this is one document everything. If you if you can as much documentation as you can, provide it. Not just does it help you just from a weekly perspective, but it helps you from an accommodation perspective.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Because there will be times where when you say document everything, like what do you what do you mean? Like document the conversations, like how you're feeling, like I guess to document.

SPEAKER_00 22:47

Any like requests for accommodations, if you can just document those. Every employer has their own type of form or process in order to get those accommodations documented. And also if there's any conversations you're having, make sure to document those with your manager or supervisor, whoever he, she or they may be. That that's going to be important in establishing a pattern of where you're at with this process.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

Yeah. That's a good idea. You had mentioned, like, for people going through this process, like you're human, you said you know, the emotional, the mental, like the kind of exhaustion of it for me. You're I guess did you document that? And if if you were going through this journey again, would you document that? Like, do you think that that's I don't know, like because I've never when you mentioned it, like I've never thought about documenting the impact on me, like in all of it.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

Does that sound like that is a great question? Uh it's and uh I I actually another person to think is my therapist who suggested this to me. Documenting, you know, how you're feeling for this process, what your you know emotional journey is, really gives it a sense of purpose. Yeah, so what you're what you're have what you're going through, whichever that may be, good or bad, it's not just in here, it's put onto paper so that you can have a track of this is what I'm going through, so that you know this is the steps I have to take in order to move this in a positive direction. So I feel like just a general practice for anyone who's going through situations like this and in general, journaling or at the very least, you know, writing your down, you know, how you're doing it from a mental perspective, from a spiritual perspective, will really help you in navigating the path forward.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

If if you're up for it, I know that's not something everybody will do, and maybe for some people it's just best to do it verbally, but at least if you're up for it, having it down, whether it's a journal or however you want to do it, will really if something kafartic about what's going on here mentally and taking that down on a piece of paper or typing it up on some document that really is feels kafaric to do.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Yeah. Well, and I I like because I've been having to just document a lot of stuff from the last couple of years, and one of them has been like my daughter's uh health attorney because she had a uh significant health issue last year. And you know, what I found is like just like you said, just having it, like it what I found for me is looking at kind of those bits and pieces and and then going back and remembering how hard it was, it is just kind of val like it's just been really validating of like, yeah, that was hard. Like, no wonder I'm still tired, or no wonder, you know, like I now see some of these things differently, you know, because you realize, like, yeah, you it's the journey through it, but like I feel like in some of these big challenging situations, your perspective changes so much through it, you know.

SPEAKER_00 25:44

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

Yeah. Yeah, it's I'm sure there'll there'll be some good products to kind of document that for sure. So I know we were we were talking about the success and then some of your lessons learned. Yeah, I'm wondering what else? Like, like, how'd you take care of yourself well? You you you said journaling was a good practice. Like, were there other things that you made sure to bring in to just take really good care of yourself?

SPEAKER_00 26:08

Uh yes. Uh, one I'll I'll start from this. Uh, one is having the right people in my life that really is a contributing factor to how much or how little success you will get from going through this journey. I was very fortunate enough to have a my primary care physician, uh, to uh Dr. W or John HC prefers to be called, who I think is a saint, certainly is an amazing, wonderful human being who's been nothing but just a gold star, fantastic advocate for me during this process. Like I cannot think of a better doctor, medical repression, however you want to call it, that was so instrumental and vital in helping me get through this process. Oh, that's wonderful. He was and also a lot of employers, particularly in universities, will have this. They call it an ombudsman, someone who not necessarily employed by the university or by the employer, but can also look out for your interest when needed. That person, her name is Brenda, has also an invaluable resource. And they gave me some really good useful useful information. Like, you know, like if you or your manager is not giving you the resources you need, you can go above them, or you can go reach out to what's called employee labor relations to get the ball rolling to get the help you need, which after doing that is when I saw some real progress. Oh, that's the money is also a huge resource, and then having you know family and specifically my friends who are about as real as or close to me as my actual family, they have been like a huge lifesaver in helping me get through this process. And I can't, there won't be enough words to express how grateful I am to them for helping me through this process. So having the point of everything that I'm saying is any community that you have, whether friends, family, church, whatever it they may be, if you can have that in your in your corner, that will help you in multiple ways, personally, financially, spiritually, mentally, the whole the whole gamut of human experience. So having community is very important.

SPEAKER_01 28:13

Well, I love that you called out the benefit of like broad community from like the different areas of your life, including one that like kind of knows a little bit more about the system you're navigating. You know, because I'm just learning that real time navigating, you know, different a different part of the legal system that I've ever been through. And I'm like, yeah, there's there's a culture here that like you have to kind of learn through like talking to different people and or a way of doing things that that is allowed but not clear, you know, it's not like written on a website somewhere that you're allowed to do it. So yeah, I love I love that call out, you know, because I think people might miss is there somebody that can be that person for me, you know, through this this like new journey that I'm on.

SPEAKER_00 28:58

Yeah, if you if you have that support system, and that can mean a variety of things, you know, friends, family, particularly if you have a therapist or at least someone that you can talk to and just say, like, hey, can I can I have a minute? Can I, you know, go through something with you that I'm really struggling with? Just having that ability to have someone to reach out to to verbalize uh what you're going through is a massive kafartic thing to do if you have the resources to do it. Because I know we can go to a variety of reasons why some people may or may not have that community, but if you do, it's tap into that community, it can really help you during this process of getting your accommodations met so that you can do the work that you want to do.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

Yeah, I love that. You know, uh a really great and affordable resource that I know helped me when I was going through um a legal situation with a previous employer was uh reading books on um others that had gone through like a similar scenario. And then it kind of brought into like others who had just been like memoirs of people who were advocating for themselves. Um so I I'd bring that into my community too, is like the books of like people's other people's journeys.

SPEAKER_00 30:10

That's a wonderful, wonderful idea.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

Um and I know you you've already just kind of been reflecting on this whole experience and thinking a lot about how you're gonna use it for the future. I'm curious, like, do you want to um talk about that next, or do you want to talk a little bit more about yeah, just the the wisdom, the more wisdom that's come out of this experience?

SPEAKER_00 30:33

I'll get into the future piece and then I'll end it with uh some more wisdom and some uh final thoughts. But um going through this process, going through what's been a difficult ordeal in my life, there's been some ups, there's been some downs, there's been a lot of challenges, some very especially as a way, some really difficult struggles at work. But the one positive that came from it was because I'm a glass towel full type of person. I like to see the upside even in very challenging times. I know so much about this process, about from the legal perspective, from the mental perspective, how difficult it is to get accommodations, how so much in this country, how difficult, particularly if you're of color, but just genuinely speaking, how hurculing of a task it has to be to get accommodations for something that the American Disability Act entitles you to have, and yet so many areas of white people struggle just to get their basic needs met in this area.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:28

The only reason I got through it, you know, having the community that I have and also having the internal fortitude to not quit. And now believe me, there are times I wanted to quit, but not having that part of me that did not want to give in to keep going. What if I realized that there's other people who could use somebody in their corner who would not quit? Who would not quit on them and they sometimes would want to quit? And if there's a way that can help them get the accommodations they need, then we could turn this around into a positive. So that's been I've been thinking of my career. If like I can get to some type of I don't know, advocacy or social work, particularly regarding accommodations to help people who could use someone to champion them to get them the help that they need so that they can be the productive human beings that they were meant to be. Yeah, so that's something that's been on my mind quite recently.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

Oh, that's that's amazing. Yeah, Marcus, I love I love just like how much you've learned through this experience. And I know for um my experience too, like just that um somebody to like kind of like hold the tenacity for you when you are just like, gosh, I just want to quit, you know, and because it can be grueling, you know, and it can be like all consuming. Um and you really need support going through these systems. Um like tell us more about like what type of like communities or work you're interested in, so that if anyone's like listening to this podcast and they have great recommendations, they can, you know, definitely comment and you know share some ideas or organizations if they know of them.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

Oh wow, I appreciate that comment. So there are some communities I'm a part of. Some of them are not what someone would expect, but have been helpful in me getting to where I am now and navigating my own process with this. Um, mainly um the burner community, I go to what's called Burning Man, and that's this whole subculture of wonderful human beings that have helped me through this process. I'm also part of the psychedelic community, which is a whole no subsection of folks to utilize the importance of psychedelics and plant-based medicine in order to elevate and illuminate and improve humanity. And beyond that, once I've become comfortable in this process, anyone who has knowledge they want to pass down to me to help me advocate and support others, whether it's just doing this volunteer or if possible, make a career out of this somehow, um, please let's let's have a conversation, let's keep in touch. And what I want to say with in regards to community pieces is no one really is an island unto themselves. It takes a community for anyone to succeed in this world.

SPEAKER_02 34:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:07

Anyone who tells you differently is is lying to you. I will just tell you, as a matter of fact, they are lying to you. It it kind of takes a village in order to raise us, especially in the times that we live in. So anything that I can do to support people that are going through this process, it's not just uh an honor but a privilege to be able to be that rock for you, that foundation for you, so that we can all succeed together and get the accommodations that are entitled to us because we are we are human beings too.

SPEAKER_01 34:35

Yeah. Yeah, I love that. Um, and you know, I was really interested in hearing more about um the psychedelic community that you're talking about because you know, a lot of our listeners will talk a lot about this on the show about um about trauma. And I know that psychedelics and um you know just plant-based medicines do wonders in um the space. So I don't know if you're open to sharing. I'd love to just hear more about the community and like what you've learned in being a part of it.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

Oh no, absolutely. So um being part of the psychedelic community has been helpful for me, just my own personal growth and helping me navigate this process. I I won't say that psychedelic plant-based medicine is going to be right for everyone. That's more of like a conversation you have, preferably with people close to you. I will say it's been a huge net positive in my life. I'm very open about the use of psychedelics and uh psychedelic-based medicine in order to improve people's lives, not just for those who would need accommodations, but in all areas of life. The biggest example I can think of this is regards to MAPS, which does psychedelic therapy particularly for veterans. So those who have PTSP who've been through war and the ramifications of that, there's been multiple, multiple studies and work done on using psychedelics to treat you know veterans of PTSD, and it has had miraculous effects. So if that's a route that people want to take, I say read up on it. There's plenty of words are out there. If people are interested, there's some people that I know that I can reference people to that can get you on that path. And if it's appropriate for you, then see how psychedelics can lead to a brighter, you know, a better version of you.

SPEAKER_01 36:22

Yeah.

unknown 36:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:23

Marcus, I gotta say because I remember we spoke, I think about a month ago. And I mean, I could just see from what has shifted in this last month how it totally is in your energies, even back from then and um like the excitement and energy you have in just talking about the future, you know, it's it really shows like the the growth and um I guess the greener pasture through some of some of these hard challenges. Um do you I guess do you feel that?

SPEAKER_00 36:54

Do you feel like you're still stepping out of it or um I now that I got this success, I realize, well, I'm on this path of moving forward. What if I can do that to help other people? There's still like a long road to go. There's still challenges at work that I'm still having to navigate. But regarding this piece, what if there's other people who could get that sense of joy and accomplishment? Like I was able to get the accommodations I met, need met. I was able to from that improve my physical, mental, spiritual well-being.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:26

What if we don't just do that for a few people? What if you do that for dozens and then hundreds and then thousands? And then the massive ramifications from people who are able to come whole and to work or church or whatever spaces and be you know actual full-wise human beings who are doing the work or doing whatever they want to do in these spaces, knowing that their accommodations, whatever those may be, are met so that they can participate in these spaces, fully realized human beings.

SPEAKER_01 37:52

Yeah. I'm really excited for you. I mean, you're gonna be able to help so many people through you know your own lived experience and everything you've learned through it.

unknown 38:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:02

I appreciate that. The the honor is mine. And I know we got them a few minutes, so I will close out with uh something my therapist, well, actually, two things. One my therapist told me, and one my dear friend Nemo Yuya told me. We as human beings in this earth, we are the sum collection of all kinds of choices that ultimately went into creation of us. And we realize as we're navigating this earth and we're doing what we have to do. You don't exist in this planet as a drop in the ocean of life, so to speak. You are the entire ocean in one drop, which means there are limitless possibilities within you that you may not even realize that you could do. The only way you're going to realize those possibilities and make them become reality rather than just pushing on the star is to have the courage in yourself in order to seek them out and to realize that you're good enough to make those choices if you have the courage and the resources to make those choices.

SPEAKER_02 38:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

So realize the limitless possibilities within you and go into the world and act accordingly in everything that you do.

SPEAKER_01 39:06

Oh, that's wonderful. That's that's absolutely wonderful. Thank you, Marcus, for that. Um, and for leaving us on that note.

SPEAKER_00 39:12

I'll actually weave one final one. Okay, and this is um a equally good one is from my friend Yulia. And and my wife, um, and I don't do this as much anymore, but I used to be a people pleaser, and I don't feel that that's the best way to live. Yes, it's important to know, be in community and help people, but it's also important to realize, and I'm glad she said this be the center of your own universe and don't spend time orbiting everybody else's orbit, which means realize your own internal needs, speak up, advocate for yourself, and don't exist in this space trying to please all the people all the time.

SPEAKER_01 39:47

Yeah. There's there's um, I think learning it, because I know you said you used to be a people pleaser, and um I'm you know, I feel like constantly navigating the journey out of that, but with each like new chapter that I get into, I'm like, gosh, and it was really exhausting and it took a lot. I don't think it actually made as much value as I thought it was doing, you know.

SPEAKER_00 40:10

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 40:11

So yeah, not a good like investment on your time. Yeah. Um, gosh, Marcus, I've so enjoyed talking with you and um like hearing about your journey. And I'm excited for you know, just continuing to hear what you do next. And um yeah, I have a feeling that this is a part one of you know, maybe another follow-up podcast, you know, to see where where everything leads in six months or so. Um, just because I know, you know, having been through one of these experiences and coming out of it, like I can tell you really want to pave the way for somebody else to just have an easier time navigating through it, you know. And um, especially in these places, you know, there's so much of a need. And so I'm really excited for you and those that get to like benefit from your experience.

SPEAKER_00 41:00

I appreciate that, SE. It's an honor to share, you know, my journey, honor to be on this podcast. And it's I'm excited to see where this change in my career trajectory and my wife overwall could lead. And if I could be the reason that you know someone smiles in this process, if they're able to, you know, escape the darkness that many of us are facing this process and realize like, hey, I I'm a human being, I can do this, I can get the accommodations, I can succeed, can be the person I was meant to be, then that in and of itself is one of the greatest joys I can get out of this experience. Oh taking a difficult moment in my life and turning a positive out of it and benefiting not just me, but people in this community in the greater world at large.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

Yeah.

unknown 41:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

Well, I'm really excited. Thank you so much, Marcus. Thank you for sharing your story and your journey. And I mean, so many great lessons learned. I know I took down some notes here, and when I watched the replay, I had um, I think just a um just a big aha, you know. I think especially as we were talking about earlier, it's like you get into it and you realize this things are more of a problem than you ever realized going in. And um so really appreciate like you kind of learning from those problems and then sharing it out so that we all can, you know, use your tips and tricks and document and take care of ourselves and um yeah, just continue to advocate for ourselves. And you know, I think just like you said, when you were so grounded in your values, you know, at certain point it was just so clear of how you wanted to move forward. And so I think that's a huge gift too.

SPEAKER_00 42:36

I appreciate that. And yeah, it is a community. Let's let's see what we can do to so that we can all move forward together at the end of the day. That's that's we're about we don't live in isolation at the end of the day. We live in community.

SPEAKER_01 42:48

Yeah. Wonderful. Thank you, Marcus. I'm gonna hit that.