What Does the Text Actually Say?

What happens when we read something into Scripture that isn't actually there? Tiffany and Omar unpack Peter's denial of Jesus, explore why context matters, and discuss how sound biblical interpretation shapes the way we live, love, and share our faith.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 1:07

So you have a story.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

I do have a story. And it happened at church this weekend. And I'm actually pretty proud of how profound my brain is, and then I realize it's not really me. The Holy Spirit sent me a message. And it's all about perspective. Alright? The pa the pastor this weekend was the youth pastor, and he was talking about the story in John, um, where Peter denies Jesus three times after they arrest him and take him into this crowd of people, right? And so as I'm listening to this story, it occurs to me that this story could have a completely different perspective if you were to shift your brain set to look at it differently, but it's always been preached the same way, so everyone automatically assumes that Peter's just denying Jesus because he's ashamed or he's scared or whatever, right?

SPEAKER_05 2:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

And I have this thought that if my child was in a cult and living in a house somewhere, right? Okay, whatever. I am going to infiltrate that house by letting people, you know, like getting in with those people. And if anybody were to ask me if I was that my daughter's mother, what's the first thing I'm gonna do?

SPEAKER_00 2:47

I'm assuming you're gonna say yes.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

No, why would I do that? I'm trying to infiltrate the house. Why would I tell them that I'm their mom if I'm trying to get these people to just allow me to be part of this cult so I could save my daughter?

SPEAKER_01 3:06

I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda lost, but I'll I'm curious to see where you end up with this.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

Okay, well, take a let's take a step back. Let's take a step back. Have has there ever been a time where you were in a group of people and you didn't tell them right away that you were a Christian because none of them were, and you would rather show them through your actions, because if you told them, they're just gonna dismiss you. Have you ever been in that scenario?

SPEAKER_01 3:37

Not in a very long time. And uh you have many, many, many, many moons ago. And if well, I'll let you finish your story, but the um there's a reason why. Um I don't co-switch on that, but go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

Okay. Well, the whole point about infiltrating a house to save my daughter is is that if they knew that I was the mom, they would know that I was trying to save her and take her out of there, and that's the last thing that they want to do, right? Okay is lose one of their people. So I'm thinking about this whole story with Peter, he's walking into a room filled with people that hate Jesus. And they're asking him left and right, right? If he's one of the followers. If he would have said yes, he would have not been able to be there for Jesus and be have his back. Jesus turned around and looked at him. And everybody's like, uh well, you know, anytime I hear it preach, it's like Jesus looked at him like with with the eyes of you denied me. Think about what you just did. Instead, could it be possible that Peter was trying to have Jesus' back and be there for him, so he didn't feel alone? Because that's how we always feel, is we always feel alone, and Jesus isn't human flesh at that point. He's trying to have Peter was trying to have his back. I'm gonna deny him, not because I'm actually denying him, but because I don't want these people kicking me out and I want to have his back.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Alright, so I'm gonna ask you something.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

What does the text actually say?

SPEAKER_02 5:22

The text actually, well, I don't know, I don't have it in front of me right now. I'm driving because I talk to you when I'm driving.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

No, no, that's more than fair. And I and I'm I'm making a uh point. You don't need it in front of you for this. Um I have to find where Paul writes it, but it's a that feels like a step beyond the text. Be very careful, you know, on that. The um it sounds awesome. You know, the whenever you hear something like that though, or if that if that's a thought that you might have, uh it's a good idea to go back to the text.

SPEAKER_04 6:00

And I did go back through the text when I was sitting there.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

I'm not saying you didn't, but I'm just saying that to take it there and to say, okay, hey, what if it was this? Go back and look and say, okay, what is actually there? What did what was actually written? What did John actually write? What was the biblically inspired, or rather the the God-inspired writer of that passage? What did they come up with? And start with that. Now you can go to commentaries and you can look in some theologians and what have you, but to go there is dangerous if you are not in the proper context of what's actually in the text. I don't know that it's that. I don't know that it's not that, but I'm just saying be very careful with that because to assume that he was doing it to kind of to hide out as opposed to flat out deny him, you have to go back then to the there's two places you have to go. One, you gotta go to the Last Supper, where he was basically saying, I'll never leave you, I'll never do this, I will, I'm ready to die with you. And Jesus says, You're gonna deny me three times. And when he does it, he weeps. If he was doing it just to try to infiltrate, I don't know that his reaction is the same. You gotta remember, after Christ is resurrected, Peter sees him on the beach. Peter had gone back to fishing. They saw him resurrected. Peter's like, all right, we saw him. And if you, you know, you know, like Jesus hung out for like 40 days after he rose. And so Peter's like, I'm going fishing. He's out fishing, and the miracle of the catch is uh repeated. They realize it's Jesus on the shore, and they come to him, and Peter's the first, he dives in the water, goes up to him, and he says, Yeah, bring me some of the fish he caught, brings the fish, he feeds them, and then after that, he pulls Peter aside, and three times he says, Peter, do you love me more than you love these? And he's restoring him on this. If there was a moment where he was doing it for the reasons that you outlined, I'm thinking it would have been recorded there. It might have come out in, but it's that's not in the text. So I would be careful, I would be careful about that. It's a great thought, but what does the text actually say?

SPEAKER_02 8:28

And when it comes to we also spoke about that, the pastor and I afterwards.

SPEAKER_04 8:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:34

Because he was talking about the two that used for love. And Jesus was asking that if he loved him as self-sacrificing love, and Peter responded with a brotherly love.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

Right.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

And they went back and forth until both of them went to the brotherly love. So I in the translation, we say love, like we love tacos and we love God. Right. Very different types of love. Right. But when you look at the original uh writings and it's talking about, and I'm trying to remember, it's Peleos and uh Agape Agape level. One of the things that one of the things that I was talking with the pastor about is can you have both types of love for the same person at different points in your life? And he said, Well, absolutely you can. And he said, But give me an example. And I'm like, Well look, I I said, I I know you had agape love for your wife when you guys got married. Right? And he said, Absolutely. You would do anything for her, you would stand in front of a bullet. And there are days when you're arguing, when she's on your last nerve, when something's going down and you're like, Yeah, I have Philos love.

SPEAKER_04 10:06

Right.

SPEAKER_02 10:09

Right. Do you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04 10:11

Right.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

And so and so putting all of the pieces together, because I did read back and I and and I was trying to ascertain from the text whether or not it is possible that Peter walked in there like, yeah, I'm I'm I I'm needed in an I am because otherwise I'm gonna get kicked out of here. Almost in a fear, like I want to be here. I want to be here. And is there some shame that comes with that? Yes. I'm sure there is. I'm sure there's shame. Right?

SPEAKER_01 10:53

I mean, I'm sure there is. I I'm I'm gonna be honest with you, I think it's a bridge too far, but I'm I'm gonna study it because I'm curious now. I don't think that's it. I'm gonna be keeping a buck with you, but it's an interesting thought, and I will I will look into it.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

Well, the reason that I the reason that it was so profound to me wasn't necessarily the simple the simplicity of the text and what it actually is saying, right? The reason that it stood out to me and the reason it was so profound is imagine God having this, you know, almost like double entendre meaning, depending on where you're at in your life, how the words can speak to you differently. And so the more that you and I talk and the more that we study the Bible as we go through life, there are certain things that stick out. And if you change your perspective a little bit based on where you're at in life, that text can mean something completely different to you in that in that moment. You can see it a little differently, a word will stick out, a phrase will stick out, and speak to your heart in a way that is so different than it may have your entire life. And part of the thing that I've struggled with a lot with studying the Bible is it's like I've read this, I know this story, I've read this, I've I've heard it preached, I understand it like I can recall it when I'm having a moment that I need it, right? But taking a different stance and a different posture and a different perspective as you are studying the Bible, for the phase in life that you're in, God can be speaking to you in a different manner. And for me, what that did for me this weekend was like, Oh, I don't I I shouldn't just be simply, and there's a lot of Christians out there that are like, Well, I get my my word and my um I I get the understanding of the Bible from someone else. And rather than simply listening to pastors tell you what it means, rather than simply listen, you know, reading theologians um uh take on what that passage necessarily means. You need to see what God means for you. What is he trying to say to you? Do you see what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 13:39

I do see what you're saying.

SPEAKER_02 13:43

And I think it was an important moment in my history because I've been so black and white what everybody preaches instead of letting literally reading the text and being like, ah, what are you trying to say? What are you trying to say to me? You know?

SPEAKER_05 14:01

Right.

SPEAKER_02 14:01

And it was an eye-opener for me to have these thoughts that you should be protected a little bit. This could have this could take on a completely different meaning. Doesn't mean that it's necessarily right. Not necessarily. That may not have been what he wrote for somebody else. He may be trying to say it tell somebody that don't deny me. Well, I don't deny him. Right?

SPEAKER_01 14:30

I love your curiosity. I fear your theology and where that could go if you're not careful. That's the only caveat. You know me, you know me, you know me well enough to know. Well, here's the thing that the most dangerous anywhere. That's why I keep going back to don't go beyond the text. And I'll share this with you. It's a it's what actually made me go to seminary in the first place. Um, when I was getting ready to do a version of uh the podcast that I was initially wanting to do a couple years ago, um I the way I was gonna do it was uh I think I talked to you about it. It was like 10-minute Bible study. I'm gonna do 10-minute Bible study. It's gonna be this, it's gonna be great. And uh in fact, I think initially it was gonna be Omar Reads the Bible. I think I was originally I was gonna do kind of do like Reading Rainbow or something, like LeVar Burton, but it was gonna be like the Bible or something. You know, just but I don't know, man. I was just coming up with bad ideas. Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna be. Yeah, I was like, I was thinking about it because what I wanted to do was uh a I wanted to do a podcast, and I wanted to do one where I didn't necessarily need a guest, where I could just get on and just like talk about stuff. And that that was about as far as I went, you know, with it. Never mind that anybody want to actually hear any of it, you know. But it was like, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna build, I'm gonna build this, it's gonna be great. And uh prayed about it, and the Lord was like, oh, okay. Um started getting some books and uh got really excited because I had like uh the Moody Bible commentary came and the Matthew Henry commentary came, I got my commentaries, I got my study Bibles, and you know, uh, realize I'm old, so the text is real small now. I need glasses, so all that kind of happened at the same time. And I got a book by Mark Yarborough, who I think he is still this, I have to double check, but I believe he is the president of Dallas Theological Seminary. Um, at least he was at the time I got the book. And I'm like, I'm gonna uh it was how to study the Bible like a seminary professor or something like that. So I'm like, uh, all right, yeah, this is great because I'm just getting books on Amazon because I'm prepping to do this podcast. I'm gonna read the Bible and make content, you know, content. And so I read the first chapter of this book by Mark Yarbrough, and he talked about a guy who was a uh professor at a seminary. I'm I'm paraphrasing, I think this is what it was. I have to look back at it. But the guy uh is teaching um you know the class, and uh he's going into whatever it is, and there's a student in the class who basically gets on this professor, you know, and says, I'm so sad for you that you have to study the Bible this way. And the professor's looking at him like, What are you talking about? And he's like, Well, I just kind of read it and let the Holy Spirit tell me, you know, what this says, you know, and I'm shocked that you don't do that. And so the uh the way that the dude broke it down was like the the worst way you can teach the Bible is to get a group of people together, read it, and then say, what do you all think? And I remember being like, that's exactly what I was gonna do. Like, what do you mean this is the worst way to do it? Um and I I I felt I was kind of butthurt when I read that. And I remember praying, and I went to the Lord and I said, What are you trying to tell me here? And I remember it was that moment that I said, I'm gonna have to go to seminary and and and study. And and God was moral, I was like, Yep. So what's interesting is I get into seminary, I'm in hermeneutics, and I'm uh where they teach you hermeneutics is basically for those that don't know, um it's really the interpret how to interpret anything, but when you um anything you read, but you add the Bible to it and it's biblical hermeneutics, so it's how to interpret scripture, and there's a methodology that I won't bore you with on that, but the that's the it's the prerequisite for anything else that you would take. And in the fourth week of hermeneutics, one of the questions that uh we had in discussion was around a passage in Matthew. I want to say it's Matthew 2, where Matthew is quoting something from the Old Testament, and the way he quotes it, it connects a dot between what was written, I want to say in Hosea, to Christ, but there's no way that Hosea would have known. I think I have to look to go double check this, but it's something in the Old Testament Matthew's quoting, and there's no way in the world that the writer in the OT would have known the foreshadowing or that would connect the dots that Matthew is doing. And so the question came up in discussion: well, is Matthew in the right to do this, to interpret it this way, because essentially he's doing the very thing I just told you to be careful about, which is kind of, hey, I think it means this. But because Matthew is considered canon, he kind of gets away with it. And so I remember answering this question, like, well, wait a minute, we gotta leave room for the Holy Spirit. What are you even talking about? And I remember as I'm answering this question and fussing with my hermeneutics professor in the discussion about it. Uh, I remember saying, like, well, you know, this is just my fourth week, you know, I got two years to go. Maybe I'll feel differently about this in two years, but right now, nah, you know, because my point is if it worked for Matthew, why wouldn't it work for me? Why can't I study and get what I need to from it? Why can't it be that Peter one just trying to was trying not to just get thrown out? And then two years later, the more I learned and the more I dug in, the more I started to look at it. It's not that you don't leave room for the Holy Spirit, but it was that it's very dangerous if it's not. And I've heard some uh pastors or some so-called pastors, not that the dude you're talking about is this. I'm not speaking about him in any way or her in any way. Um I'm talking about there are people out there who have an agenda designed to trip you up on purpose. And there's there's a lot of bad theology out there. So, to your point, I do think that it's very important that you study and you get it for yourself. Um, and the Holy Spirit will do that for you for sure. But I don't want to dismiss that there are a lot of wonderful resources out there, too. That uh can help with that that um you know with that study and with those things that you would want to equip yourself with. Um and their ways and their methods to be able to do that, I would highly recommend that um people who are interested in deeper levels of study learn some basic hermeneutics. You do that, and it's going to give you, you're gonna get the historical context, you're gonna get the genre, you're gonna get the literary uh background, what was actually going on. One of the best what they taught us was if you want to study a passage in context, let's say you're studying Matthew 5. Well, in order to get proper context, you want to look at Matthew 4, you want to look at five, and then you want to look at six. Um, and study really idealistically, you'd read the totality of Matthew. You'd read, you'd study upon who actually wrote Matthew. Um, there's some debate on who actually wrote it. Um, and you would think, wait a minute, it's very clear it's Matthew. Well, there's actually, if you go and you study some of that, you find out, like, wait, what? It was uh, well, I won't again delve into that, but I was stunned with a lot of these things that I learned in school, you know, around it. And it's here's the thing it's not like you have to, you know, I paid for a seminary degree, but you don't have to. You can absolutely go and find all the same information, just in, like you said, in your own sort of self-study. To in most study Bibles, they'll have a part that a lot of people skip where before you read the uh gospel of Matthew, it'll tell you, hey, this is uh this is who wrote this? This is you know, Moses wrote the Torah, and or it's believed that Moses wrote the Torah, and here's what was going on at the time, and here's this piece, you know. Um, and that's how you study the Bible with a hermeneutical lens. And you do it that way because what'll happen is I'll give you a perfect example. A lot of if you go into any home goods, you I promise you, you'll find a pillow with Jeremiah 29.11 stitched into it. And that's the for I know the plans God has for me plans to prosper me and not harm me, to give me a future and a hope. People love to quote it. It's in the pillow, probably stitched in a blanket somewhere. What's interesting about that is from a uh biblical context perspective, it has nothing to do with you or I. That was Jeremiah writing to Jews who had been displaced, and God was saying to them, to that audience, I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, uh, to give you a future and hope. But people will apply it to their own lives and say, Oh, God's got great plans for me. And that's he's not talking to us. A better verse for us would be Romans uh 828, for I know that all things work together for good for those that love God, that them who are called according to his purpose. It's the same idea, but that actually is speaking to us. And these are the types of things that you will hear people quote, you will hear them talk about, but you know, it sounds good, but theologically it has holes. So that's the only thing I'm saying is it's it's wonderful to be curious, and it's wonderful to want to dig in and study. And I would highly encourage that. Just be careful and have the tools around you to uh when you do those things. I don't know, is that making sense?

SPEAKER_02 25:32

I feel like I it does, and I've taken the same class. I've taken the same class, and so I knew better. I knew better than to just take it as is, but I also knew God was trying to tell me something.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

Yeah, I think I think I think you are uh, like I said, I think you you are curious and are digging in, and I love that.

SPEAKER_02 25:54

And I think the the beauty of it was was I I I was immediately able to apply it in life because what came from that is you want to infiltrate drug rings? Is that what you know it it's better than that actually? So there are a lot of relationships that I've had that discouraged that were discouraged early on because of my faith. Right?

SPEAKER_00 26:25

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:26

And it's because I lead with it. It's I I lead with it. You know? It is who I am and it is a huge part of who I am, and I and I think you've known me long enough to know that it's strong. And and regardless of the season of life I'm in, it's always number one. What I've realized is that this season of my life I need to shut up for a minute.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Oh, not just this season. Let me stop.

SPEAKER_02 27:04

Well, this was a great podcast. I'll talk to you in a week. You're the one that didn't call me back, bro.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

Anyway Please, please continue, please.

SPEAKER_02 27:31

No, I understand why you didn't call me back.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

Oh sorry, you were saying you're saying. I'll be good, I promise. Right.

SPEAKER_02 27:46

I I would say I need to shut up. And I don't mean stop talking.

SPEAKER_00 27:52

Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 27:53

But be more curious, change my perspective, meet people where they are, and don't lead with it. Because the people that I'm dealing with right now and the people that God is putting in front of my husband and I right now are people who are incarcerated and may not know him or don't have the same belief system. But in not leading with it, because when you lead with it, the first thing that they do is they're like, Oh, there's a bunch of quacks, and then you never hear from them again.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Can you clarify what you mean by not when you say not leading with it? You're not saying and this is just my you know, correct me if I'm off. You're not saying that you're code switching. You're not being something that you're not.

SPEAKER_02 28:40

No, no, no, no, no. I'm being me. I'm being my normal self. Okay. I'm just not I'm not talking about it, I'm not bringing it up. I may ask them what their faith is, or if they have a faith, or what they believe in is a gosh, you're not Bible thumping, in other words.

SPEAKER_01 28:56

Is that am I correct correctly?

SPEAKER_02 28:57

I'm not, yeah. I'm not Bible thumping. I don't even what I have realized and since then I've had a conversation with a gentleman um who I cannot wait to get this story out because it's not been told. Um his name's Nolan Buchanan. He eleven years ago he was um he killed his dad, whose dad's fiance and his brother, um, and then burnt the house down. And for three years he denied that he did it. And he finally opened up and told the truth to somebody that we know, and he was incarcerated with my husband for a while, and this kid who's now only twenty-seven he's actually getting his story out for the first time on my husband's channel. Wow. And telling telling the truth. And there was a lot of things that really touched me when he was telling the story, and like I I was I was crying when I was listening to him talk because first of all, he's the same age as my oldest daughter, you know? And so I'm like looking at him like, oh my gosh, that's like the same age as my kid. And as he's telling me about what his childhood was like and growing up, I could relate on a level that a lot of people can't. Because his dad was getting remarried, they had a child together, and he was like the outcast of the family with his stepmom because I mean quite frankly, that that's what happens in a lot of families. If you're the step kid, then the the other kid gets the more attention. You know, they have they're the ones that get all the love and they fit in with the family, and the other one is just kind of the outcast. And that's exactly what happened with me. And so I could relate. Because he talked about the feelings that he had of abandonment, the feelings that he had um when his dad would, you know, crack down on him and beat him and like all of these things that were happening and I understood. Like I I got it. And it was and when we were like in the moment of having this conversation the same day earlier on in the day, I had seen on the neighborhood app, you know, have you do you have the neighborhood app?

SPEAKER_00 31:36

No.

SPEAKER_02 31:38

No, it's a great app. The best the best story is around your neighborhood and they post about every little tiny thing, right? So in my neighbor in my neighborhood app, they're talking about um this kid who's going around and like trying to break into people's houses and they caught his picture on a ring camera. And everybody's like, Yeah, we're gonna make his parents pay for all of the damage he's caused, and he needs to go to Juvie and this, that, and the other thing. And I'm looking at that before I even talk to no one, I'm looking at that saying, you know what? That kid needs a mentor, that kid needs that kid needs somebody in his life that actually cares. And throwing him back to the wolves of his family, you don't know what that's gonna do to that kid. You know?

SPEAKER_05 32:26

Right.

SPEAKER_02 32:27

And and so I'm thinking about like, oh my gosh, like we almost need like a big brother, big sister program of people who have been formerly incarcerated that have been rehabilitated and know the programs and know the tools to provide this kid before he actually gets in the system.

SPEAKER_01 32:44

Yeah, before he actually gets in the system. Yeah, I'm tracking.

SPEAKER_02 32:46

Right. Like, don't throw him in the system because he's just gonna stay there and it's just gonna get worse.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

Right.

SPEAKER_02 32:53

And then that night I'm talking to Nolan and I'm like, holy crap, that's the same stuff. You know? And I'm I'm told Nol I asked Nolan, I'm like, what's your faith attorney? And and he doesn't believe in God. You know, he believes in his ancestors, he believes in you know, like it he he has some ideology that is so far removed from mine that I don't even understand it.

SPEAKER_05 33:19

Right.

SPEAKER_02 33:21

I I had two options. I could tell him about Jesus right there. And he probably would have never called back. Given the fact that that's not where he was, I wasn't meeting him where he was in that moment had I done that. Right? Instead, I said, Well, isn't it interesting? I said because for me I was given the thought today, you know, I didn't say God, I didn't say Jesus or anything, but in my head I'm thinking the the the Holy Spirit putting all this together to do something with this kid's life. You know?

SPEAKER_04 34:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:03

And I remembered what I had learned this weekend about shifting my perspective and not leading with it and kind of walking into a situation where I'm not I'm not really denying them, but I'm not admitting to it either.

SPEAKER_01 34:17

I'm gonna I'm gonna challenge your your your language there because I think you actually are leading with it. You're just not saying anything, but you're demonstrating it, which is I'm demonstrating it. It's yeah, it's uh you know, it's um I would argue it's probably more powerful that you because a lot of people lead with it with words they say, and then their their lifestyle and their actions don't match up. Your actions are Christ, you know, are Christ-affirming and Christ-like. So you're not denying him and you're not code switching, you're showing up, and you're using discernment. Let me listen, let me, let me love on you, let me agape you. You're doing all of the things, and because of that, you're able to form a connection, and uh as a result, he did see Jesus. I guarantee you this if you don't deny the Lord in the rooms that you walk into with your lifestyle, you never have to say a thing. People will know. I've had people say to me, now mind you, I'm very different now. Like, I I don't, it's not like I'm going in thumping, but like it's a you don't, if you know me, you know, like this everybody at work knows I went to seminary. So it's not like people don't know. It's a they may not know to the degree, but I've had people who I've never had a conversation with been like, oh, if you want somebody to pray for you, go talk to Omar. Like it's been, you know, that, and I've never said anything, never had so your life will do that, and I think that's what you're doing. So you're you're announcing Christ every time you walk in a room because you bring him with you. So you don't have to say it, but what'll happen is there will come an opportunity where this guy or anybody else will say to you, hey, Tiff, um, what is it about you that makes you so different? Why are you not, you know, they they announced layoffs and you're the only one not worried about it. Why is that? Why is it that you just that kind of thing? Yeah, people ask me that all the time. Exactly. And then that's your opportunity to be able to now speak to it because you've already taken the time to listen first and to build a relationship and you use discernment. I think that's brilliant. I think that that's something, I think that's exactly how you do it. And I I don't think it's denying it, and I even I don't even think it's not leading with it, it's just demonstrating him in a different way so that um, and I and and I just want to make a distinction. There is a version of that that is code switching where I'm not gonna say anything. I don't want anybody to know. And that to me is inauthentic. And what'll happen is um, and this now you talk about what I used to do and why I I mentioned to you earlier, like I used to not uh say anything, and now I don't code switch. This is why I didn't, because I was the pretty much the opposite. I didn't want anybody to know that I was a Christian, you know, that I followed Christ. And it you wouldn't know that I was. And what was interesting is that when you're that way, and this happened when I was in uh at Maryland when I was like a freshman in college, and I'm running around uh getting into here's the thing when you when you're lukewarm, when you're trying to get like when you saved and you trying to be out in the streets and you don't belong to the streets, you can't enjoy it. One, you know, God only lets you get so far. He'll say, okay, let's let him, you know, he can go to the corner, but he can't go any further than that. Let's just see what he does. You know, and I'm running around trying to, you know, I'm trying to uh be in a the fraternity. So let me go to the smoker and let me do this. Because, you know, not that, you know, but I'm telling him I want to help the community, but what I'm really trying to do is I want to be a uh an omega so bad because my father uh pledged a pledge Q. It was a Q. And I'm trying to be like him. And so I'm 18 and I'm doing everything I can to figure out who where the Qs are so I can be a Q. You know, and people would ask me, what do you want to do it? Well, you know, I want to help the community. No, I like that the Qs had deltas, and I was trying to put them. So I needed the letters so that I could also get the sort of the AKA's and the deltas. That was what I wanted. But if you asked me, it was that I would say, I'm gonna help the community. That yes, that that's that's what I want to do. Um and so I'm out here, you know, trying to deny who I am. And I remember like uh when it was suddenly convenient, well now I'm saved again. You know, and I remember like one of my best friends kind of caught pulled my card on it, and he was like, How is it that you know, you talk about Jesus one minute, you know, but next minute you out here with us. You gotta figure out which one, who are you? Figure out who you are. I'd never forget that. And it it shamed me so bad. Um, you know, I was kind of a man without a country, and I didn't immediately fix it. You know, I kind of sat with the pain for a bit. And when I got a little older, um, as I'm wont to do, I overcorrected. And so then I was super bobble thumping guy, and then I didn't have any friends for that reason.

SPEAKER_02 39:55

Yeah, you're overcompensating.

SPEAKER_01 39:57

Overcompensating for it. And then it's, you know, well, how do I walk this back? And then I think I went too far the other way, where, and this is dangerous too, where, yeah, absolutely. Like, you know, uh the the danger of going too far the other way is that you will make every space safe. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't provide um safety for people and make them feel like they matter and all those things, all those things are wonderful. But if the Bible says one thing and you say another, then have you really made it safe for that person? Or have you made it safe for you? Um so that you know, you to the people like you, you know, and I'm using the royal you, not you, Tiffany, but you know, the royal you. And I certainly did that. I I compromised my truth uh under the umbrella of, well, I'm I'm loving them. And the the rhetorical question is, well, how can you love them more than God does? If the Bible says X, Y, Z, but you say, I don't know if I like that, I would do it this way. Um, what you are in essence saying is, I can love you better than God can. And you can't, because God Himself is love, right? So this these are the mistakes I've made. And then over some time, I I got the sense God gives an ant and realized and landed where you already are. But it took me a while. I had to go a long way to get to it. Um, you know, and it's a valuable lesson. So now it's just I'm just there's no version of me at work, there's no version of me here. This is just I'm this all the time. And the um the biggest challenge I have now is pulling back uh and discerning when to hear. Um, and it's because my passion for I think part of it is because I compromised and was lukewarm, I am disgusted by that behavior in myself. And so it comes out in, no, I'm gonna, you're gonna get this word.

SPEAKER_05 42:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:11

And that's what I have to be very careful of. Um, you know, when I'm doing things, and it it's uh it comes out and it can, you know, the word in it is already offensive, you know, and you know, I'm helping it offend. So I have to be careful, you know, with that. So pray for your boy on that. That's my kryptonite, you know, on that bullet. I love the way that you're you're approaching it and the way that you're doing it, and I think it's I think it's beautiful. I think it's absolutely beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 42:39

I'm at home, but I want to leave you with this.

SPEAKER_01 42:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:43

I just sent you a video and I'm gonna tell you something that's really interesting to me. This man that that I'm showing you is talking about my husband, who never once told him he was a Christian. My husband never told him that he was a Christian, and my husband has never talked about Christianity or God or the Bible on his channel. But look what people are seeing.

SPEAKER_00 43:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 43:12

So watch that video and then text me later. Text me after you watch it, but I'm gonna go in now.

SPEAKER_01 43:18

Go in now. Talk to later back.