A Journey Beyond the Scale

In this episode, Janice, Lauren and Nikki feature a guest named Bekah who shares her personal journey with body image and bariatric surgery. The discussion explores how childhood comparisons and parental influence shaped her long-term struggles with weight and self-perception. Becca details the health complications and psychological triggers that eventually led her to choose a surgical intervention during the pandemic. The participants highlight the necessity of mental health support, noting that surgery is merely a tool that requires a permanent lifestyle change. Ultimately, the conversation emphasizes that overcoming food addiction involves addressing deep-seated emotional layers and navigating the "addiction transfer" that often follows such procedures.

Enjoy!

~The VN Podcast XoXo

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:15

Hey everyone, welcome to the Voice Notes Podcast. I am Janice, your host, and with me are my co-hosts and besties, Lauren and Nikki. Each week we bring you a relaxed chat with different takes on music, entertainment, fitness, and just all around life. So whether you're driving, you're at work, you're at the gym, or just lounging, let's get into it. So today we're going to be discussing a very serious topic, one that is sensitive to many and one that can never be understood by many. And I've personally learned that it's okay because this is a personal journey. So this is going to be a non-judgmental segment in a very safe space. So if you're listening, whether you're a male or you're a female, I hope you understand the sensitivity of it and decide whether this will be an episode you will listen to or move on from. We will be sharing personal experiences, which takes a whole lot of courage, and we welcome you to this episode of the Voice Notes Podcast. So, with all that being said, we have a very special guest with us. Many know her as Where is Beck? Do you know where is Beck?

SPEAKER_01 1:28

I love my friends become friends. I started like saying that, by the way. Like I've started telling people that my friends become friends. I love it. Mickey ism, if you will.

SPEAKER_03 1:41

I love it. So why do we have Becca here on this episode? So I uh personally reached out to Becca um and of course consulted with the girls here with Lauren and Nikki because we want to do an episode that centers around body image, body positivity, struggles that we've had with weight, with um social media, and their concept of what beauty is and so on and so forth. And I know Becca and I know her journey because I wanted to take that same journey. And I remember that you met with me and we talked a lot. Um, and I was on the brink of having bariatric surgery, and then it fell through. So I wanted to talk about it. I think it's a good conversation to have. Um and so I wanted to hear, I want listeners to hear about your journey. So tell us how it started, how long ago, and what made you decide to go on with bariatric surgery.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

It was on my radar for a couple years. Um, I think because I was so young, I was like, Oh, I'm too young for this. Oh, this is a big deal, like it's changing my entire stomach. Um when I actually had the surgery, I would say 28, but I was having health issues. So um at the time, because COVID kind of happened, I was really stressed out because I was like, oh, all of my health issues would make me more likely to have a problem and get very sick. And I'm looking at my age, I I kind of saw like relatives of mine were suffering because of COVID and they were because of their comorbidities. Yeah, it was um made it very hard for them to recover. So it kind of made me look at my own mortality. I just was kind of in a space where I had time to focus on myself for the first time ever. Like Michael was like, think about it. He was very, very nervous because he had heard of the horror stories. Um he had known a family friend that had passed from the surgery. Yeah. So um, me being so young, he was like, I don't think you need it, but like also I'm not gonna stop you if this is your decision. Let's just research it. And I think my anxiety and the fact that I was pre-diabetic, I was having um signs of getting high blood pressure, uh also like the medication I was on. I was on birth control, they don't really it's the thing I will harp on about being a plus-size woman, is they don't really talk about how those medications affect plus size people. Like birth control, you're just saying, yeah. So I was having like racing heart rate at night. I was having all the side effects that something wasn't like it was not sitting well with me, and you know, you're like, oh, go to the doctor, get another one.

SPEAKER_03 4:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

I went to the doctor. They were like, Well, maybe you should start taking aspirin every morning. Oh my god. Am I like what? Am I hundreds? I'm like how old. So to like be told that by the doctor, not to take me off the medication, yeah, but to add another, like to add an episode. Another medication when I'm much uh older to that's something for later on in my life. You're you're basically saying I have the body of someone much older and I don't love that for myself.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

And like my body image issues like were very personal to me. I always like try to keep it to myself because like I was like very defensive of myself.

SPEAKER_03 4:56

So can I just stop you right there? Because were you always a a heavy child? Like, were you like a heavy teen or were you like overweight, or were you like thin and then got overweight? Like, how was that?

SPEAKER_01 5:08

I was always uh a heavier child, yeah, me too. Yeah, which was hard because my family's very thin, very thin. Yeah, uh, it it did not make sense. Like, you know, my sisters were like 110 pounds or what? Yeah, you know, yeah, and so the comparison was always and we're not the type of sisters that would make that a thing for each other. Yeah, I think they're beautiful, yep. And my dad has always been like, My daughters are beautiful. That's so awesome. We love your father's. That kind of gave me like this thing in my head. I'm like, I can feel not that great about myself, but no one else can tell me anything.

SPEAKER_03 5:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

Um, which became like a shield, but you hear comments of course, you know. I would go and older ladies would be like, You need to stop drinking soda. I uh you need to not eat so many snacks. And I'm like, I'm actually not, but my body seems to attach, like something's wrong here. Yeah, because it doesn't, it's true, it does not make it keep it. Oh people I take so many liberties like my hands. I just the liberty is it's a thing. People have audacity to say whatever they think through the first thing they're saying have the right to do it, and they don't, you know. I have like instead of like resting rude face, I have resting nice face. And people just I'm like smiling, and I'm just like, I'm dying inside. Um but like it was constant. I mean, uh especially because like my me and my sister are only a year and four months apart, and it was a constant like comparison from other people, you know, you would think we'd butt heads over it, but we were like, no, this is dumb. That's an outside noise, yeah. Yeah, so like it it was forever.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

But it's a trigger, it's it does a lot of damage. It does a lot, it does a lot of damage, yeah, visible damage.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

It was for me, so I I went from having like a binging issue. So it's like you have like this like toxic relationship where you eat in private, and it just becomes kind of an outlet, but it mixed with like my hormone pro hormonal problems, yeah. It was like um it kind of progressed really fast. So once I hit my teen years, it kind of hit like a fever pitch. Yeah, I was well into the 200s as a as a like 14. I think I weighed 214 pounds, yeah. Which was a lot for like a five foot two woman, yeah, you know. And so it it was it was very difficult, and I just kind of like you know, watch videos about like weight loss camps and so it was a fixation for me. Yeah, so it was like very much like I uh I've seen it online where people were like, I don't think it has ever been a day where I haven't thought about losing weight, and I very much lived that. Like I didn't I always was like, man, you know, if I only if I this or that and it was all you know, part of it was yeah, I have like PCOS issues, so like the hormonal weight gain, it's such a challenge to figure out, and I would go from diet to diet at Atkins, um South Beach, you know, like all those things out there.

SPEAKER_02 8:05

Do you know that that is actually um a diagnosed condition now, like where you have anorexia? It's uh orthorexia, and orthorexia is the that now it's becoming more and more documented that it's like and only because we'll talk about it in a second, but like I know it from my own experience, like you go from diet to diet, it's actually it it's like an it's like a bulimia, anorexia, or orthorexia. And it's like yeah, because you exactly what you said, you never a day never goes by when you don't think about it, and you're inundated with like, well, I'll do the and it actually becomes like diet diet, it's an addiction. Yeah, it's a total addiction. It's an addiction, it's totally an addiction.

SPEAKER_03 8:41

And I I feel like personally it starts in those teenage years. I can't earlier. I can't like stress that enough, and that's why it's so important for parents who have young girls. Yeah, it is so important to discuss and be open about body image, accepting yourself for the way you are and the way you look. Can we make changes eventually? But it's on our time, it's not because society is telling us what we should and shouldn't be doing.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

And the thing is, uh, what's what's crazy about it, because me and my mom have had uh very like in-depth conversations about this because um you know, we had a frank conversation, was like a look a lot of this is like I was like, you kind of made me feel this way because my mom was I mean, my mom is gorgeous, uh she but she always was on a diet. She always was like drinking she would go phases where she would just juice or she would just drink chicken broth, which is like a whole other conversation, but like she was just you know, she'd read something and then she'd try it out, and you know, I think the first time she put me on a diet, I was I was eight. So but in her head, she just like trying to help. But she had this that's how she handled herself, so she was like then pushing it on to me, which led me to the secret eating. Sure. Because now I'm like my mom's being this almond mom to me, but my other siblings can eat whatever they want. But it's so like it separates you, yeah. So that's why it was like hard because I was like, my dad says I'm fine. But my mom was like, No, you're not. I don't know what to do. It's so tough. But like we've talked about it because she like she's like, I never saw you, like I never saw my daughter and was like, I don't love her and I don't think she's beautiful. But she was just like worried, but she was like, it was more about myself, and I didn't realize it projected. Transparency, yeah, it's transparent, yeah, yeah, totally just not see it, and we've been able to have really good conversations because like I will tell her, like, I was like, hey, that's not an okay thing to say.

SPEAKER_03 10:42

That's so awesome.

SPEAKER_01 10:43

Yeah, because it's like you know, now my last my last spiral was she had a jacket, a tweeted jacket, and I've tried it on. She's like, You're not gonna be able to put that on because you have like you know the linebacker shoulders. I looked at her and said, No, no, no. I was like, Well, I'm gonna get in this jacket. Oh my god. You know where that jacket is like. Isn't your clock in my clock? I'm trying to think I'm like, I think I might have seen you in that tea jacket. I went to my dad and said, You will not believe what Fred said. He goes, Deservedly so. We love her, but yeah, but like it's that's but that spiral, but like I think like for years, like I've always been kind of very focused on my family, and when I got married to Mike, he you know, you that's part of like just separation from family, and just like you had like I he gave me kind of the time to like actually focus on myself, so I had like a calm.

SPEAKER_02 11:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:42

And when COVID happened, I now I'm not working and I'm at home. And I was like, I need I I just felt this like I had to do something. So that's what led me to looking actually serious about bariatric surgery.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

And um I tried so many other ways and I felt like you know, I was at the the heaviest I've ever been. And I just felt uncomfortable and like looking back, I'm like, man, I don't really have photos of myself, like full body, like I don't have a lot of photos. I didn't realize how much my weight was affecting how I acted in gener in general. With people in my connections, I definitely felt like I wouldn't make myself feel like smaller because I didn't want attention on myself. Like my wedding was one of the hardest days for me because of all the tension on myself. You looked beautiful though. Thank you. But uh we did it, but it was hard because it's COVID, so all the appointments. Of course, yeah, of course. Like I'm like, oh my gosh. Yeah, and we bought a house at the same time. Yeah, so that um, but my parents came through and helped Mike a lot because they stayed with us for the first few weeks while I had my surgery, so they were cooking and helping unpack my house, even though I couldn't find for some time. Um But I I did the surgery and that's a whole process. So they they do give you therapy for the surgery. I can gripe about how it's not nearly enough. Um with a nutritionist, and I really believe that more they should have uh throughout the entire process after continue to do it for years to come because like aftercare, mm-hmm. Yeah, because people don't realize it's an addiction transfer. Sure. So um people go from their not realizing that they have a food addiction or something like that. Yeah, and a lot that's why that a lot of people either become alcoholics or they end up leaving their partner. It's like a su like an actual study because the train it the addiction has to go somewhere.

SPEAKER_03 13:32

Very interesting. I have to say that's the one thing that um when I was doing the whole step and the whole process for bariatric surgery, that's the one thing the surgeon kept stressing to me. He says, You're gonna do this. He says, You cannot turn to alcohol. You cannot turn he's like, I can't tell you how many of my patients are now alcoholics. Yeah, because of course they turn their attention, and I was like, I do it. I didn't think we didn't think about that at all. I didn't think about it because you think it's it's liquid. It's like okay, but it's the whole addiction chapter.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

There's a like you can see several episodes where they're like just at the bars. So I've watched that on a bound down, absolutely and you see, oh now that's that's what's happened here. Yes. And and the thing is people don't realize you drink your calories and you go way back. Yeah, I thought that's how you're bigger than you were.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

Yeah, I thought that was like the number one way to like put yeah, just empathy. Yeah, it's a mental switch, really. It's like a lifestyle change you have to do.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

I spent like uh I think it's six to eight months not drinking after my surgery. But it was definitely a uh interesting process. I think mine's was a little harder for me because um he the surgeon was like, You're only gonna lose 60% of what you want because you have PCOS, so it is already harder for me. Like, yeah, you're doing this is gonna help, but you're gonna lose like 60% less. But I I don't I it's one of the best things I ever did. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:57

What did you get? You got the sleep.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

I got the sl uh the VSGS. Yeah. So um I what I factored was the fact I have PCOS that the band would not be very helpful.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

Um and at the same time, I didn't want to do something as drastic as the bypass since I'm so young. I'm like, I still want to have a stomach. Um so I talked to them because he was like, I I could do the gap the by the bypass because you were I was heavy enough. Um I was 285. And I was like, no, I'm not doing it. I'm gonna I'm gonna figure it out, I'll balance it out, you know, I'll use it as a tool because that was the one thing that they emphasized. I joined a lot of public forums that was I think more helpful than the therapy I got before the surgery because you had people going through the experience or they were uh like nutritionist for uh somebody that did it. Yeah, okay. Yeah, so um that's kind of that was a huge help. I still have that page, I use it all the time when I need a like a little lift, or like I'm having dysmorphia and I can't see the changes uh if I have like a time where I'm on a plateau or something. Especially I and I did experience regain in 2023, and then I kicked my butt back into here and I was like, I didn't do this for no reason. But it definitely helped rewire my brain as to like just uh putting food in its proper place. Sure. And taking the time taking the time though for myself because that that was the biggest thing. I was like, you you get like uh stuck not focusing on yourself. You have time, uh you have time to take care of yourself, and that should be your priority because you can't take care of anybody else if you don't have a few years.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

If you don't take care of yourself, we say that all the time. Absolutely the airplane thing, yeah. But I definitely fast on yourself first. Do you need the reminder?

SPEAKER_03 16:41

Wholeheartedly, I know it's more of a mental thing. Oh, it's because you you have to have the willpower and you have to have the strength that you need to get through that, and identify your backslides, the triggers and the backslides, which we talk about all the time because it's rooted in so much that's not like the food, or the addiction, or it's oh that's just the icing on the cake.

SPEAKER_02 17:05

Like to use the analogy because once you start stripping it away, you're like, wait a second, this is a lot of layers, and you and you start. Yeah, you're looking for like the you're looking for the original trigger that triggers it all. Yeah, and that's the part that going back to the that's the worst to un to to peel you we all those layers. Keep peeling it back, keep peeling back. And that's why I think the therapy element of episodes before we were talking about uh we all we were talking about a woman I used to work with, and I remember it's like 20 years ago, and she was the first person I ever talked to who was like, they're gonna put me in therapy because she was having full bypass, and I wouldn't and I never connected. Why? And she was like, No, because and this is rudimentary, it's like 20 years ago, and she was like, Because um my body is not gonna match my brain. And I remember her saying that to me, and I was like, Yep, I never thought about that, and that's because you're dealing you're dealing with so much, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

It's so weird. I I tell you, like, I still sometimes will over-order because in my brain I'm like, that's what I used to eat. Right, this is how I used to function, but at the same time, I'm like, no, I'm I've had enough. And that that it's like this weird push and pull, but yourself. Yeah, it's totally a lifestyle. It's totally a lifestyle change that is going to be constant for the rest of our lives here. Yeah, and you just kind of also have to expect like people always have opinions too. That's always gonna ask to relax. Like everybody got something to say.

SPEAKER_03 18:25

Everybody got something to say. When you do it, when you decided um to go on this journey, when you decided that you were gonna have the bariatric surgery. Did you tell anyone outside of your immediate family, or did you say, Um this is for me, I'm doing this, and my family's the only one who really needs to know? Because regardless of what we think, right? People are gonna notice. Yeah. Regardless, yeah. You were one size and now 30 days later, you look like something else.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

Women are conditioned to, which we have stopped, we have stopped this consciously, but women are conditioned to be like, see somebody with did you lose weight? Right. Yeah, and that's a big conditioning that's done to us because instead of just like going into a scenario and being like, oh my god, I love your outfit, or like you look so beautiful, you just look great. That's it. You look great, but like be kind, right? Like there's a there, but there's a condition, but there's a conditioning for women to be like, Oh, it looks like she gained weight, but who lost weight?

SPEAKER_03 19:23

Why and why is that because it's you're taught that's also your own security being projected, like so.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

You're like, they look good. Am I not feeling good about myself? Yeah, I gotta say something or whatever. But I only told so I spoke obviously to my husband. I spoke to my parents because they were gonna be helping me a lot. And my little sister, I told I I don't think I I maybe a couple friends, very, very close friends, but I didn't really advertise it. No, one of my favorite things was that it was during COVID. I kind of had this bubble where I could recover, just completely focus on myself, and I didn't have all these uh outside things coming in.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

What was your recovery time?

SPEAKER_01 20:06

Like, what did you um so they're like you can go back to work in two weeks. I felt like it took me a month and a half because I did not um I already had a lot of stomach sensitivities before the surgery. I already I didn't realize I had I have like a I think it's Barit's esophagus. I was having bad acid reflux. I didn't eat it was so normal to me. I didn't notice my body was like struggling. And um so when I got the surgery, I was became more sensitive to foods that I wasn't before, which is just how it goes. You have a smaller stomach. Uh I remember calling you at um the hospital or whatever, and you were like, I I just had like a cracker. I had these little tiny basin jars that were like five ounces, and I would put like my dad would make me chicken, like he makes a really good chicken soup, and he would make me the broth and he would strain it out for me, and I was just drinking that or bowing broth to try to have some sort of protein, but like I could only drink the liquid diet for a certain amount of time, then you go to soft and you progress onwards. And the idea is you're staying under it's like a mandatory calorie deficit. Sure. And if you do it right, uh it's like you're reintroducing foods, you could also kind of see what also is gonna vibe with you. But it took me, I I took it so slow because if I rejected it, it's something um like uh it's called dumping syndrome. If you something doesn't vibe with you, you will projectile, which takes me into the other thing addiction transfer. You can go from binging to now purging. Yeah. And that was a very big issue for me for a time. Okay. Because now I'm so obsessed with progress that if I oh it's not sitting well. Is it not sitting well with me? Or am I feeling fat because I just had something that I I'm now feeling like I regret? Right. So it was a very tricky balance going from that to now. I'm and now I'm struggling with something else, and I'm like, I gotta go, guys. And then that's you know.

SPEAKER_03 21:57

I know that was one of the things I asked to because I was so Scared of that because that's every forum I went to, yeah. I heard about this dumping syndrome. And I'm like, I don't want to be at a restaurant and eat something and then have to run to the bathroom. Which is for it. You've got it. It just comes out. Wow. And that's what I kept hearing. I remember I had asked you that when we when we met up, and you know, you were honest about it.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

Yeah. And not everyone, you know, some people they get the surgery and they can feel hungry the next day. Some people, you don't feel hunger for a while. Yeah. Um me, it's like I it's been it's six years now in September. And um yeah. And i I have days where I'm not hungry at all. I have days where I'm starving. You know, it's it comes and it goes, but there's some people that but it's also like stop sitting with you. Some people can't have carbonated beverages. I can have some. Uh some people can't drink out of straws because they have gas issues. I can I always drink out of a straw. Uh it depends person to person. So some people don't have dumping syndrome. It's different for each person. But if I have something too dairy rich, I might feel the but I also now I'm like I'm eating and I feel how I feel. So I prevent that from happening. I'm like, oh, if it's fried, I it's I'll take a bite of something. But I'm like, it's not worth the feeling after. Yeah. So it's like learn relearning your body, yeah. 100%. I guess.

SPEAKER_03 23:23

So you had your surgery at six years now. Um you were honest about the fact that you had this done because of your health issues, which is of course the number one main thing, right? And then you talked about that you did have that body image, that body dysmorphia, right? Yeah, uh, which is huge, is huge for me, the body dysmorphia, because um, and I know I've had this conversation with you so many times, Lauren. We've had yeah so the therapy that I'm currently in to be able to discuss this, I don't know if this happened to you, Lauren, but like my therapist, she took me back to when I was 16 and like she literally is making me really open up and just kind of be that person again. It's crazy. Um, and the mere fact that your brain can transport that far back and go to situations where you know, I'm talking about guys who used to say I was built like a football player, you know, to kids writing in my yearbook, you know, you're fat as a pig. Um, the bullying was insane, it was every day. But there are children out there that are probably getting bullied and they go to their parents. I didn't have anybody go to. My parents were just I it listen, I had the best parents, they were loving, there's no denying that. But when it came to the understanding about weight, to the understanding of hey, I'm the chunky one in the family. Look at my sisters, look at my brother. Yeah, none of them are built that way, just me. I would go visit family in Puerto Rico, and how did they refer to me? La gordita. La goldita, la goldita, donde está, donde está la gordita, like where's the chubby one? That's what they used to say. Where's the chubby one? And that's how I was referred to. Do you know how that could make a child feel? Can you imagine? I can't imagine doing that to Kimora at an early age, referring to her as someone other than what she was. And that was constant, constant, constant, constant. Yeah. So then you go through life and you experience other things, and you still are dealing with people who are viewing you as a, and I hate using the word fat, but that's what it is. They view you as a fat person.

SPEAKER_02 25:41

Oh, you're in you're invisible. Yeah, let's just talk about it. You're treated so differently. You're treated completely different. Yeah, you're not you are our. Let's talk about night and day, exactly. Like you are not even you're not a person. Yeah. You're not, and uh yeah, so there's that.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

Yeah. And it's hard. Yeah. Yeah. But the worst is when you have a parent. Yeah. In my case, it was my mom, and she did everything in her power to kind of get me to where I needed to be, to where there was a grapefruit diet. I'll never forget about the grapefruit. It's the grapefruit juice because grapefruit juice burns fat. Oh. So you have to drink grapefruit. And I remember she used to buy me the big things of Tropicana, grapefruit juice, and she used to sit as I'm getting dressed for school, just sit there.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

Acid and it's so sour.

SPEAKER_03 26:33

It was crazy. And then it was one boiled egg. So grapefruit juice, one boiled egg. That's all I can have. Okay. These are disgusting. Then great source of protein, Nikki.

SPEAKER_02 26:44

Reframe it, because I do love cars boiled eggs now. No, but yeah, not at eight years old.

SPEAKER_03 26:48

You're like, the corsets that she would make when you wear it.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

The pajas is eggs are cooked. I could like my mom would be like, you have to wear fat. And I'm like, I don't want to feel like a burrito. Because she said I had to make literally makes the fat hard. Yeah. It looked like a burrito. It did not make me look better. I am not snatched. It just looks like my stomach is hard.

SPEAKER_03 27:07

She used to make me wear those things. The corsets. Cinch me up big time. Um it was just a constant. That's all I could say. It was just a constant.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Buying clothes. First of all, buying clothes as a child.

SPEAKER_03 27:22

Oh my god. No.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

I felt like I looked like a little president, a little like a little lawyer. Yeah. Did you wear these like wrapped dresses like you know, I'm premature. Not age appropriate. I look like a little senator. The way my mom would come home, and I know she's like, oh, look at you, gotcha for like, and then and I would just look at her and I'd be like, I hate this. Yes. I hate this so bad.

SPEAKER_02 27:45

Did you come up? So Janice and I came up with the sizing when they used to be husky. I think by the time because you're a little bit younger than us, I think they did away with it. They did. I didn't have the husky. They didn't but like the clothes. The size was called husky. For girls, husky.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

We just had the plus size stores and you know, everything like had to be. It was very chore, though.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

Didn't it feel like you were you guys like little senator? Like you'd be like, it wasn't like I felt like it was just a pared-down version of an older woman's clothing. Yeah. I felt like I needed to be on the wire.

SPEAKER_03 28:14

Jesus!

SPEAKER_02 28:16

With like your night. With like a really black hair. Like you just came from the right now.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

I'm like, oh my gosh, and we'd be clapping in the church or something. Like, what? Where did you find these clothes? But yeah, I know it was very frustrating because I had my sisters who could dress like hip and go to like, I don't know, Apricontroller or whatever. It was popular at the time.

SPEAKER_03 28:36

But you know what was plus size frustrated. Size 12. Yeah, but you're right now. And up, you were plus size. Now, size 12 is the norm for a woman, right? Back then, if you were size 12, yeah, you were that husky.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

But you just started calling people mid-size because it's like, yeah, you're not plus size, you're right in the middle, and that's fine.

SPEAKER_02 28:58

Yeah, so like a friend of mine, a friend of mine um is a she's a curve model, so she she has said that like the terminology has had to change because terminally had to change, number it had to change. Because it's not reflective of the average woman at all. Yeah, the average woman is like size 12. Exactly. Size 12, size 14. That's why when you go to stores, like you know, I love a good Target shop.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

Like even Modcloth.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

Mod cloth, well, mod cloth's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

Yeah, well, in recent years, I mean they're taking it away though, because cocaine chic is back. So that's what I want to get to real quick.

SPEAKER_02 29:30

So the thing with the size, there's two things. So this is being skinny, very, very cocaine? That's like the hero cheek where we were in the 90s. Oh my god. But the mid them the mid-sizes that are in stores like that are often gone. This is the first thing. When you go shopping, you'll notice there's a drop-off of the mid-sizes. So it's either like extra small or like XXL, right? So there's there's that, right? But that the Becca's point, which we want to get into with the GLP ones, the GLP ones are affecting the fashion industry because now it is like what was heroin chic in the 90s is the cocaine chic, but it's really the GLP one chic. Gotcha. Where people have lost so much weight now that you're going back to these like incredibly small sizes, which there's like there's like a freak economics thing going on. We're like, how long are we gonna maintain this? How is this gonna affect the fashion industry? Like, because you're literally looking at one thing causing and correlating a whole other industry to that point. Yeah. Still messing with women's images themselves, still messing with because we'll talk about the GLP one. It's a constant thing, but if you don't like strip this down and get to what the core of it is, there's not gonna be longevity in it. And I can tell you, like, trust me, I can tell you because we want to focus on like back as a story and everything. But like, you are not gonna have longevity and maintain if you don't strip it down and figure out what is the cause, the cause.

SPEAKER_01 30:47

Right, because it's not gonna be sustainable. It's not sustainable, yeah. It's not sustainable, it's not sustainable.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

You don't pull back the layers and see exactly where it originated. Where is this coming from? What is it combined with? Is it combined with PCOs? Is it combined with um the trainer I worked with? Like they're very big in the maintain it. Right, they're very big in like go to your doctor and get a huge blood test and look at everything, and they'll tell you what to ask for. Because if you go to get an average blood test, they give you like A, B, C, and G, you have to ask for, hey, can I have my hormone levels? Can I have my testosterone levels? Can I have you have to ask?

SPEAKER_01 31:17

You have to advocate for yourself for it. It's so hard to prove you even have PCOS because even they're like, you might. And they have a new name, but don't they have a new name for it now, too? They just renamed it.

SPEAKER_02 31:26

Um goodness. Because it's not just ovaries anymore. No, they're they're finally returned it. I'll look it up. I got it. I got you. I was just reading about it.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

Because it's like for the longest they're like, yeah, you might, and yeah, it's gonna give you all these issues, but also we're not really gonna do anything about it. You have to figure it out. It's been such like a you're on your own, because some girls have like really bad cystic acne from it, or yeah, you get hair growth. There's so many different things.

SPEAKER_02 31:51

Now it's called PMOS. Pemos because it's polyendocrine metabolic ovarian syndrome because your endocrine system, that's why people are getting like it's like a a sliding, a sliding set of symptoms. So some people have like facial hair, some some people have like waking, some people have like horrible um you know, menstrual cycles. That's why they had to broaden it because it's not just for your overs anymore.

SPEAKER_03 32:14

Yeah, yeah. It's not just like it's not, like it's not. Yeah, but here's the ignorance that people have. See, they if they see an overweight person, they think you are overweight because of what you're eating and what you're drinking, but they're not realizing that maybe that person is not eating the way you think, they're not the person who's running to get the super-sized meal over at McDonald's every single day of their life. Eating ice cream every day. And you can try every diet out there and you just cannot get the weight off. When I listen, when I say you're eating too much or you're not exercising. But you want to be that ignorant and think and assume that that person is the way they are because of they just they're sloppy. They have no self-control. They're sloppy because they want to do that. And listen, there are people out there that are like that. Let's let's call them spade a spade, but everybody is like that. And also don't superjudge. You don't know.

SPEAKER_02 33:11

You don't want someone else's shoes. I agree with you. And like it's such a such a culture of first off, it's it's low brow, low-hanging fruit to be like, they're fat. Yeah, unless you mean pretty hot and tempting, as we sat. Because we don't use other words around here. Yeah, I hate that. Like I had somebody, it it's such a trigger for me. I had somebody in a social setting that used the word morbidly obese to describe somebody. I hate that. And it if there had not been wait, what do they use? Morbidly obese. Oh. And I it was it was all my willpower to not come across the table and like rip their face off, but I did it verbally. I hate it. And I was like, I don't know how you speak in your home or with your friends, but if you ever want to spend time in this scenario again, we don't use those types of things. Yeah. And the person said to me that they were like, Well, that's how I was raised. I was like, Yeah, but you're also in your 40s and you can break it. Like, you can break the cycle. Because I'm like, no, don't that's such a low-hanging fruit, lowbrow way to describe somebody. Like, you're you're basically boiling a person down to a physicality that you have no idea whatsoever what they deal with and what they struggle with. Yeah, what's a struggle with it?

SPEAKER_01 34:11

I think people forget it's also none of your business. Like, it's none of your business what person weighs, what's going on with them, and like unless they go to you to talk about it, even then, it's still not your business. And that's always been a very big pet peeve of mine. Yeah. Mine personally, I hate when people put their nose and stuff because it's none of your business what I weigh. What I weigh, what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_03 34:31

Unless I decide to share with you, it's none of your business.

SPEAKER_01 34:34

Yeah, none of your business.

SPEAKER_03 34:35

That's right. Absolutely right. All right. Yes, we're taking it to the islands. Taking it to the islands. People, Jay! Mr. Livy La Vida Loca. Ricky Mantin. Now he started on general hospital. Didn't he? Did he? Yes. He was he was really, really young. Yes, he was very young. Before Manudo, and also he was It was like during Manudo. Yeah. Yeah. He sure did. So Ricky Martin, uh very well known. Absolutely. Uh he is hot. Like a fine wine. Like a fine wine. He's beautiful. He's a beautiful person. Yeah. I know. He's 54 years old, uh, Puerto Rican, as you know. Um started off in Manudo, was in the Spanish spectrum for a long time. Then he transitioned over to English. He was welcomed. I don't know if you remember the Grammys when he first performed. Absolutely. Very big though. Yeah, he was very, very, very big. Um it was fantastic. Great crossover. Great, great crossover. I actually saw him in concert. Really? Phenomenal MSG. Ah, nice. Phenomenal, phenomenal concert. He was performing recently, and I can't remember where. But he was uh performing and someone in the audience sprayed tear gas. Oh my gosh. So yeah, so he had to be rushed to the back. Like he ran to the back. You see him, like he was just, of course, it bothered him. He had to run to the back. Of course. But he did not stop the concert. He went, got the care that he needed, and then he came back out and he finished the concert. Wow. But that's how crazy people are in these concerts. This is so stupid. But um Ricky Martin, he is a father of two. Okay. He is adopted. I mean, not him. He adopted two. Okay. Two boys. They're grown now. They're like teens. Really? Yeah. They are grown. I don't know why. I thought he had young kids. I don't know why. Um yeah. So again, Ricky Martin, he is definitely a hot dad. Yes, he is. He's six feet. He's six feet? That's pretty six feet. Oh, six feet. That's pretty tall for a Puerto Rican man, I just gotta say. And I can say that because I'm Puerto Rican. That is too tall. I do like a tall guy, so six feet is pretty cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:52

And he looked he looks so great at the Super Bowl. Yes, he did. Yeah, yeah. You can see uh his height. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:57

He was in a Montenegro. So Ricky Martin's Montenegro concert interrupted by tear gas. That's terrible. Oh wow. Yep. Terrible. They're gonna ruin it. That's why everything has been holograms. Listen, I give him much respect. Um, he does love his voice. Um, he is a very, very strong um advocate for anything related to Puerto Rico. So during the hurricanes, he was very, very supportive of that. Um he uses his voice for sure. So definitely, definitely our hot dad of the week. Absolutely. And that's a wrap. Thank you so much for hanging out with us today. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone you know. Make sure to follow us on our Instagram page at the underscore voice notes podcast. And remember, voice notes are just podcasts with zero editing. See you next week.