Resting Nice Face

In this episode of the Voice Notes podcast, Janice, Lauren, and Nikki engage in a casual discussion about celebrity culture and social etiquette. They begin by critiquing the high costs and dynamic pricing of concert tickets for artists like Harry Styles and Taylor Swift. The conversation transitions into a deeper exploration of emotional awareness based on a social media post detailing three traits that make a person annoying. The hosts reflect on the importance of active listening and being a "safe space" for others while maintaining personal boundaries against "energy vampires" who dominate conversations. Ultimately, the group emphasizes that consideration and empathy are essential for healthy interpersonal connections and navigating social interactions.

Enjoy!

~ The VN Podcast XoXo

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Hey everyone, welcome to the Voice Notes Podcast. I am Janice, your host, and with me are my co-hosts and besties, Lauren and Nikki. Each week, we bring you a relaxed chat with different takes on music, entertainment, fitness, and just all around life. So whether you're driving, you're at work, you're at the gym, or just lounging, let's get into it. I mean Harry Styles and Oh my god, did you hear about choked on water?

SPEAKER_04 0:40

Harry was choked on water.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

So he does this whale thing, I guess, is uh with the water. It did not work at his last concert.

SPEAKER_03 0:48

So he choked. He started up and collapsed on the floor. Yeah. Jake just said it to us today.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

And I was like, I've gotta Google this. So I've been avoiding Harry Styles for some time because I've been pissed about his tickets. So I've been the podcast. Yeah, no, I've been I've been very much upset because I wanted to see him because I didn't see Harry's house before. Yeah, I wanted to go too. I was like, yeah, I know I would love to see him, and then I saw his own. We ain't paying enough places. And I have I could get started on dynamic pricing. Oof. And uh I've been avoiding him for because I'm a little unpeeved. I have a personal peefe with him. I didn't understand that.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

So do you guys like that with all artists or just certain artists?

SPEAKER_01 1:27

All artists. I love I avid concert goer. Yeah, yeah. And um I mean I growing up that's where most of my money went to. I would keep drug shows. Yeah, yeah. Um, nothing like live music since COVID. The way ticket sales have gone, it's so ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

And it's just like a actual war to buy tickets to your favorite artists. It is. And it's not only just like before dynamic pricing was a thing, it's just was almost impossible to get into the queue. Yeah. Uh you'll be like, how on earth is there so many people going to this concert or trying to? And I just don't understand why they haven't found a way to stop the the this this the box. There has to be. And I'm like, there is a way. There is no way. They just don't care. So like um They're not making changes.

SPEAKER_03 2:13

It's not effective than them.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Yep. I wasn't even like a huge um like Taylor Swift fan at the time, but all my friends were. And I liked some of her songs, and I listened to like to folklore and evermore, and I was like, oh, these are really I actually like her. I need a song. Oh, those are too little.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

So you like Taylor?

SPEAKER_01 2:29

I do like Taylor.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

She's too pink. I'm done. But she's such a good writer. You like Iris songs? I love Iris.

SPEAKER_04 2:36

Yeah, we love Iris.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

I had she her concert is one of the best concerts I've ever been to. No, I went to the phone. Did you see Taylor? You saw Tyson. Yeah. The the community at her concert, it was so refreshingly kind. And I had, like I said, I was a new fan. Yeah. I had friends, friends, the friends, I ended up getting the code to get the tickets, and I wasn't even a fan. I was like texting everyone, I was like, That's so funny.

SPEAKER_04 2:59

I have a theory that that is not by chance. That is, I think it's on I think it's definitely controlled because for the hours tour, I know people that got that the exact same thing. Like they had never seen her, and it was either it was either people who were a fan since the first album or had never seen her, and that's who got the codes. And everybody in between nobody got the codes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

And I was like texting people, like, hey, you got I have a code. Like, do you guys want it? And people were like, we'll wait for Capital One. Never got tickets because it was gone.

SPEAKER_04 3:25

It's gone.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

And um, I only I bought three, I could have bought three more, but whatever. And now you got Rihanna, you got like, yeah, I can't even imagine what Justin Bieber's gonna be like, but Gaga had dynamic pricing, and I that's gaga was expensive. They were trying to meet up so we look at we tried. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

I was like, I'm not paying for it. No sleeds, no way. I I refuse.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

I was like, I'm not gonna pay because dynamic pricing is like you'll have you'll pay $200, your friend's gonna pay five. Yep, this is insane. That's not okay. And I was obsessed before that. It was like, how did you let this turn on?

SPEAKER_04 4:01

It should not be an option. There was a spreadsheet, Abby had a spreadsheet, and she was like, look, because she had multiple screens, and she was like, I have the ticket, the space, like everything in the spreadsheet, and it was dynamic pricing, it was kicked on for Harry. And she goes, I can tell you the same seats that I got for like 150 bucks or whatever it was, are now 375. That's crazy or 400. And I was like, that is insane that they're allowing that. It's not okay. Yeah, it's definitely not. Well, Harry did survive, apparently. He passed. Yeah, he's a good one. I guess I think he made a joke about it too, right? I think he did, yeah. And he was like, ah, and was like, and it was one of his shows. So we had that.

SPEAKER_03 4:33

Maybe he won't be doing that in the next show.

SPEAKER_04 4:34

Maybe it's coming back at him. I don't know. Hopefully, he makes it to New York for his 30 shows in New York. So 30 shows in New York.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

$10,000 for tickets. Hence my tangent.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

I was like, I just want to see you. Yeah. You got a residency. These tickets should not be that expensive.

SPEAKER_04 4:54

Ridiculous. So in the grand um Al, I guess Allie's of Instagram, I don't know, Pink posted. This is where it came from. So Pink posted She's amazing. She's amazing. She's amazing. And we love her so much. So whenever she wants to come on the show, we're ready.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

Um I love people who are so like hopeful or like, yes, yes, it's gonna reach. Just watch Lynn on any parking to speak into existence. Talk about warriors. I mean I love it. You spoke it into existence. Warriors. I did. I told you.

SPEAKER_04 5:31

I saw Warriors coming to Broadway and goes. There's no way they love it. And they're doing this. That's another conversation.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Kudos, kudos.

SPEAKER_04 5:38

So Pink posts a thing, and it's from um somebody named Vibe Samurai. Um, and the question is this three signs, you're annoying, and nobody has the courage to go. Oh, so sign one I thought was really interesting because it goes, let's go first. You always make the conversation about you. Someone starts talking within 10 seconds, you cut them off and turn into a story, your pain, your opinion, and by the end of it, they're drained, and you never even notice that you didn't listen once. That's the first part. This is the energy vampire. Yeah, yeah. Point two you complain about everything. Oh god, nothing's ever good enough. Yeah, always there's always a problem, something's wrong. Steppy Downers. Eeyore, energy vampire. Eeyor. Eeyore. Um there's always a problem, something's wrong. I'm doing Eeyore. Eeyore. People like that. Miserable don't just talk. They drain energy, and why people don't confront you, they just slowly disappear. Energy vampire. And I know where that's from, which is really funny because it's like it's the best things I've ever seen. I love it. You're just sucked dry. Like you have no energy.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

You didn't even do anything. You stand in there. You're just like, you're watching the life totally drain hair body.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

God forbid you're a person that like lights up the room. Yeah. God forbid the vampires come out of the woodwork.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:08

Yeah. And last but not least, you think you're just being honest. You're rude. You're just being inconsiderate. Yeah. You're rude. And whatever you say, whatever comes to mind, you have no filth, you have no empathy. And then people are coming to mind. Everything's third. I was like, oh. And then you just hide behind that's just too eyes. That's just lack of emotional awareness. That's just rude. And sometimes just bad manners. So this led us to the conversation about emotional awareness, being socially aware, which is very important. And I also feel like there is active listening where you're engaged in the conversation and you're trying to connect, and then there's like running over the person with your story. And I think that that's a delicate balance. Because Jefferson Fisher talks about that in his book about the next conversation. He talks about how like sometimes just if someone's sharing with you and they're unloading through, just like you want to be like an active listener and you want to be engaged and validate them, but just don't say anything because they just need to get it out. So it's like a really interesting. So we were talking about that about do you know people in your life that are like that? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

100%. But I just want to say because the a point, I think point two and point three. People have to know the difference, right? Yeah because there's a difference between being honest and being real. Of course. And to be mindful of the difference. Yeah. And then the last one where you I'm just being honest. I'm just being honest. No. No, stop please. There there really is a difference because a person can be honest with you when you're kind of engaging in conversation and you want them, you're welcoming that honesty. But there are people who are just flat out, I'm just gonna say whatever I want to say. You're gonna have to suck it up. That is annoying. That's just who I am. Okay. Yeah.

unknown 8:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

Well, you're not gonna be that around me. So you're being goodbye.

SPEAKER_04 9:01

Well, the To his first point, they just they don't confront you, they just drift away because you get I've had that my own life, you just drift away because you're like, I don't have the bandwidth, and you just turn the knob down of yourself, you dial down your personality.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

So you end up or desire to you just shut down.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

I give people a chance to um I I give them a chance to come in my orbit, and then if I'm exhausted by their presence, that's the last chance. And I move on. Uh it's nothing personal, it's just like you're personally like affecting me. You're exhausting. Okay, I gotta go. But like I gotta go.

SPEAKER_03 9:38

It's like you like slide away.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

You're like I'm like you're laughed non-stop, you have been negative, and you have dumped on me piles of things I have not been.

SPEAKER_04 9:47

Is it Palmer Simpson meme? I also have like a before like 8 a.m. rule. Like, I was at a conference and somebody who I know, you know, socially like came up to me and then before 8 a.m. just dumped on me. And legitimately, it's really some terrible things are going on in their personal life, but I'm like, yo, it is not even 8 a.m. in my head, and I just and I was like, and then they just like they like fluttered away, and I was like, Well, I'm done. I'm like, I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted.

SPEAKER_01 10:15

I'm like, that conversation wasn't so good. That's one of the woes of resting nice face is that people will just talk to me. Resting nice face and they will come to me and be like, here's my life's problems. And I'm like, hello, whatever happened. Hi, how are you?

SPEAKER_04 10:29

Hi, how's your day? You know, but it's because you give good energy. Babies and animals come to you too, right? Yes, that's right. Babies and animals and people smile at me.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

But I I just uh I'll just meet someone and I'm like, I'm so happy that I feel like a safe space for you. But also, sometimes I would like people to ask themselves if if I'm ready to receive that.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

We just said that. We just had this conversation. It's like you have to be mindful of the other person. The other person. Are you mentally available for me right now? Can I handle it? And I just assume because I'm here.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

I view consideration as one of the highest forms of love. Yeah. And a lot of people lack it. Oh, I do. And you know, when you're in interacting, I have a friend that I will message her, and if I need to vent about something, I always I try to say, Do you have space for this right now? Because I know that maybe they're they're dealing with a lot emotionally, and they me doing that is not going to help. And it's also not gonna help me because I'm not gonna get also the feedback I need at that time. So I I am very big on and I think it needs to go both ways. Yeah, yeah. It has to go both ways, and and like I said, the resting night's face, I will just be I just walked into the room and they're like and then throwing everything. You should be a therapist, and I'm just like, I don't even know what to say right now. I'm just here. But I do want to say on the first point, that is something that I've worked a lot on because what I people on the spectrum or people with ADHD I was gonna say that, yeah, the ADHD patients. Their way of connecting in the conversation is to talk about a similar experience. And it is so hard to not railroad a conversation when you're just thinking, oh, how can I help how can I add to this conversation? And um So it's not like they're trying to take over and malicious or like it's something it's funny because I'll be talking with my mom, and we're both heavily on the spectrum, and I'm like yapping, I'm trying to talk to her, and then she'll start talking about herself, and she goes, Mecca, you know.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

No, I think once and I'm like, mom, I'm talking. Stop interrupting me. What are you making you say? Bessie says your name has me called.

SPEAKER_04 12:40

No, my favorite though was the day when you had the cat's boy and you're making her dance, and it was your camera, and it was like this, and it was little wand, and you were like, dance, dance. But there's like, wait, because there is active listening. Like I am an act, I know I'm an active listener. I like engagement because I want the person to know like that I'm listening to, like, okay, I get it. Like, and like sometimes I'm like, okay, I get it. Or like, oh, I had a similar situation, I understand that. But I same thing, like I try very hard to never railroad the conversation. I try because I'm I'm work very hard on being socially aware. I think I'm socially aware. I'm um I try to work hard at it. Yeah, I try to work really hard at it. Like, you too. And I want to like be able to because it would be the same reverse space that I want someone to give me, and and like I same thing, and that's actually the voice notes conversation which we've talked about. One of the reasons why voice notes I think are kicking off for so many people is it's not an immediate, you don't have to immediately listen to it. Like I get voice notes and they'll cute, and I'm like like two, three days might go by. Right, and then I'm like, okay, tonight this can be the head space. All the voice notes, exactly tonight, you know. So it gives you the time to go through it and respond accordingly and not railroad the karma comment to the conversation.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

But it's going on with uh going along with your um uh ADHD um comment, you know. I know people who they very easily can jump into a conversation, but it's more of an excitement type of thing. Like it's almost like, oh my god, we're talking about the same thing. And then they can't control their mind, their thoughts, so they're like and they cut you off. Yeah, and it's like they're not doing it maliciously. So it's it's just an excitable thing. So that's I don't mind that. And that's okay. That's different. I'm good with that. I feel like you feel that you're talking intention. Yeah, like that first thing. It's like a person who's like, you want to say, oh yeah, um the sun is out today. Oh no, let me just tell you about this. The sun is not out, they just want to go against everything you said. So I love that.

SPEAKER_03 14:33

Or also you say you say experience that you had, and they're like, oh, well, you know, this happened to me. They want to up, you know, you want to up the back. Well, my aunt has cancer. Well, my you know, grandfather had like diabetes, cancer, and you know, epilepsy. But I mean isn't there what are these things?

SPEAKER_04 14:50

But isn't there like a fucking but isn't there like a fine art to nuancing that we're like, okay, like this is what's happening, and you're like, and then there's one response where you're like, I get it, like caregiving, like we're talking about caregiving. Like I get it, been there with my grandparents, and then moving on. Yep. It's a completely other thing to one-up the conversation and be like, let me tell you about this. You're like, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about like hearing the person acknowledging it. Right, like I'm in the space. There's a difference. Like I hear everything. That's the difference. That what you're talking about is literally that's we'll shut a conversation down.

SPEAKER_01 15:23

That would be a little bit. I've checked out. Oh, completely checking out. Yeah, I'm in another country. Yeah, I don't even know what it is. And don't tell them you're in that country because they do make trouble. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:35

Oh my god. They climb Mount Everest 2,000 times.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

What's the difference between being supportive and trying to relate to just trying to like say that your experience is more important than theirs? Yeah. And that's the feeling that you get left with. It's that, like, oh, I'm going through this. And instead of being like, man, I understand. It's like, no, uh, my experience. I can do more. I can't do that. And that goes into all the other because it's the one, they tend to do the three. Oh, that's absolutely a point. 100%. They're these are these are martyrs, they're victims, they're like, they're the people that are like, woe is me, all the time. And like uh also, like, this is the worst thing ever. Yeah, exactly. Oh, you're having a bad life. I've had a bad life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

I didn't know we were comparing competition.

SPEAKER_04 16:25

There's been conversations, like, I don't post a lot on social media. You guys know this, like, I post very obscure things, like it's gets controlled for that reason. Yeah. Because there was its tennis in football. Like, it's like, what is everything's like?

SPEAKER_02 16:36

Yeah, June is like a face is June always.

SPEAKER_04 16:38

I would get messages every once in a while and be like, a person would just be like, it would be like a random thing. I'd be like my feet up out of fire, and they'd be like, I'm glad you're enjoying that. Let me tell you what's going on in my life. This would be the messages. Why then? And then I would just never respond. And I would let I would read it so they know that I read it and then move on. Because I'm like, I didn't even gonna give you the responding to it.

SPEAKER_03 16:59

Hey, how are you?

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Nothing giving you that space. I get the must-be nice ones and then I heard it. Hate that.

SPEAKER_03 17:06

Yeah, my friend used to get my friend. Oh, my God.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

Be ignorant towards me. I'm gonna harness. I've gone like how do you afford it? I'm like, uh how dare you ask me. I've gone to how do you afford it?

SPEAKER_03 17:20

You immediately my friend in California, she got like um, you know, she was posting like her her vacations, you know, whatever, but she got a DM and it was like kind of like that. People come at you sideways for just literally surprisingly.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

I would not even answer you.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

I wouldn't answer you. Yeah, I would never. And I'm the nicer. I'm not doing it.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

She is the nicer.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

And I I will, I will, um, you will never see my stories ever again, by the way. Oh, that's the one. No. Now it's a figment of your imagination. Yeah, but I'm doing I I cannot. Yeah, we're not gonna I'm not gonna engage. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not gonna engage with you because as a little man, we're gonna be able to do it. I don't do the petty, the petty nonsense. I'm sorry. I'm not gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

You know, that reminds me of pre pre-social media days. I think maybe Facebook was out. I had someone who came over and um yeah, when I lived um the other house. Oh, yeah, the other house. And I had a car and my husband has a car. Done.

SPEAKER_03 18:20

I need a drink.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

I'm going to repeat that. I'm gonna I need a drink. I have a car, and my husband has a car.

SPEAKER_03 18:26

Because you both work. Because you both drive.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

We both work, both have responsibilities, and so we needed two cars. Okay. Okay. And I had someone who came over and said, it must be nice. How can you afford two cars? I can afford it. I'm not gonna get into a conversation and now break out like my W2 or W4 to say, hey, look, this is my annual salary. Oh, you're an explanation. And I'm allowing you into this is why I say not everyone is allowed in the city. In my house, and not everyone is every crowd. I protect my home. Thank you. And you're my peace, say it loud, my energy. Say it by say it loud to people in the back. Will not. You're just not allowed.

SPEAKER_03 19:08

You're not gonna leave it there. Alright, so this week we have a hot time of the week. Um, are we going to by popular demands?

SPEAKER_04 19:15

Uh, we're gonna go to Maluma.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

I don't even know if he's Colombian. He is Maluma baby.

unknown 19:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:28

Oh my god, he shaves, he looks good, he has a beard. I don't know. I have to look him up. Maluma.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

First of all, his music is wonderful. I love it. Okay, I've never listened to him. He is just he's mad. He's beautiful. He's just beautiful. You know, he's 5'10. 5'10. You look at a man and you may say they're handsome, they're hair. Taller than me.

SPEAKER_03 19:49

Taller than me, too. He's not six feet yet. He's just beautiful. He's beautiful. He's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

He's beautiful. Oh, yeah. I'm like, if he walked in the room with me, I wouldn't know what to say. But I love the friendship that my little one has with Jay Balvin.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

Jay Balvin is another one. He'll probably be on my list later on. But he's another one. Um, and I love that they call each other. I love that they hang out. They're always, and of course, you know, they have the common nationality of being Colombians. Um, but just listening to them talk, listening to the way he is with his daughter, yes, I just think he's a hot dad. And he recently shaved off his beard, which was a big thing. Yeah, he would. I mean, even his daughter. What was it for? He just wanted something new. Something new. Yeah, he just couldn't. As long as I've known Maluma, I've known him. Yeah, yeah. He would have the scruff, at least. He had that. He always had a scruff. But he liked scruff. Okay. And he's like, his daughter even like didn't like it. Oh but that's in all. That's common with all kids who are so used to seeing their dads with beards and all of a sudden they get they freaked out. So um, yeah, I chose Maluma as hot dad. I suggest or I recommend listening to his albums because his music, his music is great.

SPEAKER_03 21:00

Um, I like good, I like uh new and good music, so I'll try it out.

SPEAKER_04 21:03

He's not married to his children's mom.

SPEAKER_00 21:06

All right, but that's our marriage. We don't judge, we don't judge. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:14

We have to separate the man from the artist. Yeah, he's separate. Okay, you know. Because I like the artist. It was the artist.

SPEAKER_04 21:24

We were talking about Shamar Moore. Yeah, and then we were like, he's out with his partner, and the four of us are like, oh But that's alright.

SPEAKER_02 21:32

We wouldn't listen to anybody if we talk about like what they do in your personality. What is the Belonious monk doing?

SPEAKER_00 21:42

For me, Maluma is the singer. Yeah, he has one. That's it. He has one daughter and he has a son on the way. He has a daughter.

SPEAKER_04 21:48

The little boy's coming on. And he either has a boy or little boy's on the way. Yep, yeah. But he's been with his his um partner for like a while. So, you know, but he's gorgeous. Yes. So Maluma is the hot dad of the week.

unknown 22:03

I love it.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

I just want to check real quick with Dan how many how many episodes is this now?

SPEAKER_03 22:08

You know what I'm talking about. And you know what I'm saying. So just get back to me.

SPEAKER_00 22:14

And that's a wrap. Thank you so much for hanging out with us today. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone you know. Make sure to follow us on our Instagram page at the underscore voice notes podcast. And remember, voice notes are just podcasts with zero editing. See you next week.