Circle of Chairs with Kate Parsons

Interview: Kate Parsons on Faith, Peer Support, and Showing Up for Recovery

I've been hearing Kate Parsons' name everywhere I go in the recovery community here in Tennessee, and I'm so glad we finally got to sit down and talk. Kate is a woman in long-term recovery and a Faith-Based Coordinator with Tennessee's Office of Faith-Based Initiatives, and her story and her work are just incredible.

In this conversation, we talk about:

🔹 The difference between being sober and being in recovery. 
🔹 How Kate's faith journey started in an unexpected way, including borrowing someone else's higher power before she was ready to connect with God on her own. 
🔹 What Tennessee is doing in the recovery space that's unlike almost any other state.
🔹 Why peer support and social support are some of the biggest buffers against recurrence of use. 
🔹 The biggest barrier for churches wanting to help.

If this interview with Kate pulls on your heartstrings, contact your local anti-drug coalition. They need volunteers with heart and passion for this work.

📖 Grab the book: When You Love Someone in Recovery.
💌 Connect with me: hello@carolinebeidler.com

Caroline Beidler, MSW, is an author, speaker, and Managing Editor of Recovery.com, where she combines expert guidance with research to help people find the best path to healing and treatment. Her book, When You Love Someone in Recovery: A Hopeful Guide for Understanding Addiction, was released Spring 2026 with Nelson Books. Drawing from her own recovery journey through addiction, mental health challenges, and trauma, along with training as a clinical mental health provider and addiction recovery expert, Caroline is passionate about guiding you into seasons of greater healing. Learn more about her books here. 

Subscribe to her Circle of Chairs Substack community at carolinebeidler.substack.com 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Circle of Chairs Conversations with Caroline Weidler. Real talk on addiction, mental health, healing, and hope for people in or seeking recovery and our loved ones. So pull up a chair. You are not alone. Hi everyone.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

I'm so glad to be joined by Kate Parsons today. We have had a bit of a back and forth to make it here to talk with you all today. And I'm just so grateful for her and her advocacy and her work in the community in Tennessee. And I've been a huge fan, just following along on social media and have heard, you know, everywhere I go, everyone's like, Do you know Kate? Do you know Kate? And so I'm just so glad to be talking with you today. We're gonna just jump right in. Kate, welcome. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. Yeah. So tell us a little bit about who you are and how you got involved in faith-based recovery in Tennessee.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Absolutely. I sure will. So I am a woman in long-term recovery. I started my journey when I was 16, much like yours, actually. I see a lot of correlation between our stories, but I went to treatment for my substance use disorder for the first time at 16. And then I went to treatment for my mental illness for the first time at 17. And I was able to put string together a really good chunk of sobriety. Now that I know that I was, you know, it was almost 20 years. But now that I know what I know, I wasn't in recovery. I was just sober for those 20 years. And then unfortunately, during the pandemic, my marriage was falling apart and I ended up relapsing. So now I'm coming back from that. And so I feel like it's been a battle that I've been battling for a long time. But learning how important that recovery piece was kind of changed my life. So my personal experience definitely is what led me to this work.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

Wow. Thank you for sharing that. And it is interesting. We have a lot of similarities in our story. And even just what you shared, I was very close actually. And I don't haven't really talked about this too much publicly to going back out in 2020 and had to go back and receive some mental health support and treatment. Can you talk a little bit about the difference? You said I was sober for a long time, but I wasn't in recovery.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Can you share a little bit more about what you mean by that? Yeah. So recovery is so much more than just stopping using the drugs or stopping using the alcohol or whatever you're kind of soothing yourself with. It's all about rebuilding a life. So even though I was not using any substances for those 15 to 20 years, I was not actively working to improve myself. I wasn't actively working to improve my life or to even address the underlying illness that I had at the time. So that's what I consider recovery. Recovery is an action word.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

Oh, I love that. Recovery is an action word. I like to say that too, because I think for my recovery early on, and I say early on, and it was like, I don't know, five, six, seven years before I started to dig into some of my trauma history and mental health and kind of the reasons why I started using in the first place. I thought recovery was just sobriety. I thought it just was like, okay, we stop doing this, and then our lives are going to get better. But the truth is, is we learn how to live. And like you said, we're building a life. And part of what I've witnessed, and I know we're just getting to know each other, but just witness kind of from behind the scenes with you. It seems like purpose is kind of a huge part of how you are rebuilding and building back your life after having a setback. How are you involved in recovery kind of in the community today? And how would you say that purpose is connected to you discovering that recovery is about more than sobriety?

SPEAKER_01 3:41

Oh, wow. Okay. There's a lot in that. I will tie back into the last question about what led me to the faith-based aspect of recovery. So this last time I was in treatment, I actually got let go from my job while I was there just because I had missed, you know, four weeks at that point. And I loved my job, but I realized that I was helping people, but I was only helping rich people. So it wasn't as soothing for my soul. So my case manager there in treatment said, you know, this is your chance to completely rebuild and to help whoever you want to help in whatever way you can. And so that led me to this work. I started working in homelessness services. I was a sore specialist. So I would go into different homeless encampments and encounter different people that were experiencing different levels of homelessness. And I would help them get social security and disability benefits. And that brought me a lot of joy, but I still didn't feel like it was the thing until I started working specifically in recovery. And that's when I knew I was in alignment with my assignment. All the doors that were supposed to open opened. And I know that that was God. And it's really interesting because I never would have thought that I would have either got to this point or credited him for that. Because when I got to treatment the last time, I literally said, okay, well, I'm going to stay sober, but I won't do like AA or NA or anything like that because I can't uh talk about God. I can't admit there's God. I was that closed off from it. So I tell a lot of the churches I work with, you know, if you bring that to someone and say, this is the only way you're gonna get better, they might not even try just because they're not ready to hear that yet. So I had a really unique experience. Initially, one of my texts in treatment told me, you know, it doesn't have to be Jesus for this aspect of it. You can just find your higher power. And she told me that her higher power was a friend of hers who passed away from a drug overdose. And that's who she, that's who she referenced. And her name was Becca. And so I remember her taking my hands and saying, you can borrow Becca until you find yours. And so for literally for almost a year, I was praying to someone named Becca. And I know that that sounds so odd, and my kids thought I was really going through something, but but I just wasn't ready to make that connection yet. And ultimately, the thing that made that connection for me was oh, at this point in time, I was in treatment and they had brought in different people to tell their story and to inspire hope in us. But all the people that they were bringing were people who had 20 and 30 years of sobriety under their belt. And it was just, you know, nothing was resonating with me. And so then when I went to an outside meeting, there was a girl who had 90 days of sobriety. And she was just lit from from like within. I just feel like this light was coming off of her. And she was telling her story about how she was rebuilding relationships with her family. She could be around her nieces and nephews again. And then she told a story about the church giving her keys so that she could open up the meetings. And, you know, when I was in active addiction, no one was giving me keys to anything, like especially not a church. So that was the night, just hearing her story, hearing that made me go back to my room and just fall to my knees and say, Okay, I can't do this. I need your help. And that's when my faith-based journey started. And what year was that? That was wow. So 2001. I mean, not 2001, 21. 21.

SPEAKER_02 7:16

Yeah. Wow, that's beautiful. Okay. I want to go back to you said something about being in alignment with your assignment. That is a powerful statement. I love that so much. And I appreciate your vulnerability because I think sometimes, especially when we're in faith-based spaces, there's kind of this stigma against 12-step for a lot of folks, or you know, using the word higher power and things like that. And I certainly understand that and I respect folks' viewpoints on that. And at the same time, like you shared, for many people, it is a door, it is an opening that we can go through and we can start to learn and discover and foster a deeper connection with God, with Jesus. And I've I know for my own journey, my recovery has been this spiritual formation of really getting to know Jesus in a very intimate way. And my journey of recovery also started in 12-step spaces too, you know, and it is such kind of evolved as my faith journey has. But I appreciate you being open to sharing that because I think churches really need to hear that message. And part of, you know, what I share in my new book, When You Love Someone in Recovery, is like, here's a here's a lot of different pathways that people find healing and wholeness on. Here are a lot of pathways that open that door to perhaps another pathway, like the faith-based one. And so let's not shy away from learning about all of the different ways that will bring people in. And I was talking to someone who said, and it's a very harsh statement, but it's true, like we can't find recovery if we're dead. And what we're living in today is a very life or death challenge with the types of substances and um kind of the extreme nature of substance use disorder in our communities now. So thank you. Oh, thank you for sharing that. Can you talk a little bit about because I want to talk um and have you share about what Tennessee is doing because I'm, you know, I've been only been here for seven or eight years. It was funny, my husband and I were like, well, you know, let's reevaluate after five years. We'll see with your job and this and that, because his job brought us here. And five years kind of came and went. It's like, we don't want to move anywhere. We love it in Tennessee. It's amazing. Um, so Tennessee's doing some really unique, innovative things when it comes to recovery. Can you talk a little bit about that and then also the work that you're doing today?

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Yes, absolutely. And you're right, Tennessee is kind of at the forefront of this, the combination of peers and faith, you know, utilizing those faith-based entities. So, what we have in Tennessee is the Office of Faith-Based Initiatives, and there are different coordinators stationed throughout the state in different, typically in different anti-drug coalitions. And it's our job to enter these faith communities and help educate them about addiction and mental illness from both the aspect of the professional experience that we have in the training, but mostly I feel like from our lived experience. Because I can go in there and I can say, these are the mistakes that were made on me, and these are the mistakes I made, and this is how we can fix it. And much like the statement that you just said, I say we can't fulfill the Great Commission unless we keep them alive first. So I do advocate for different things. And I, none of my presentations, the majority of what I do is presentations and trainings in faith spaces, but none of the things that I actually train on are about faith. We leave that to the experts. So that allows us to move in and out of different faith groups. So I'm not just speaking with pastors, I'm speaking with rabbis and imams. And there's so much more in common that we have about our recovery, um, about our recovery background and the way each of those faith groups approach recovery, then we have differences.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

Wow, that's really interesting. So I appreciate how, yeah, like you said, uh, we'll leave that part to the experts. You're not going in and preaching a sermon, but what you are preaching is evidence-based perspectives and approaches and what works and what the science and evidence shows from not only our personal experience, but a lot of great research that's been going on for a couple of decades now in different areas. And you're opening the door for folks to learn more about that from the recovery community. I think that is what is so unique and innovative about this approach. And correct me if I'm wrong, but there are no other states in the country that have a faith-based or office of faith-based initiatives.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Is that correct? I was recently heard I recently heard at RX Summit that there was another state that was doing really well with that. And it was kind of the two of us, but I I cannot remember which state that was.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

Okay, okay. Do you think it was another southern state? Southern state. Okay. Very interesting. So in the office, just for folks who are listening, is kind of a state-funded department under the health and human services area. Is that right?

SPEAKER_01 12:04

So we're under the Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services.

SPEAKER_02 12:07

Okay, okay, awesome.

SPEAKER_01 12:08

And you're one of the regional coordinators. Yes, yes. So there are about 20 of us across the state. I am one of the seven faith-based coordinators. So we have hybrid lifeline coordinators and lifeline coordinators as well. And they do the same thing I do as far as educating groups, but in addition to that, they connect people to treatment. So if I have a church that calls me that says one of our members has disclosed this issue they're struggling with, they need treatment, but they don't have insurance or they can't make it. Our lifeliners attached, connect those people to treatment, even if they can't pay for it or even if they don't have insurance.

SPEAKER_02 12:43

Okay, awesome. Well, I'm gonna have to talk to you about so my day job, I work for recovery.com. Is that a credible resource where folks can look for treatment? So I'm gonna we'll connect offline about that because I think that might be helpful for some of the peers connecting people to support. And so I wanted to talk a little bit about that, about peer support, because I did a lot of research for my book and I I really love digging into what works. Interesting that, and not surprising, I guess, that social support is one of the biggest buffers that we can have against recurrence abuse. And as someone who's experienced that, and I also have experienced a recurrence abuse, I think I had about three years in, well, sober. I wasn't in recovery either. This was years ago, and experienced that. Can you talk a little bit about the importance that you've seen just maybe in your life and then also in the work that you do with peer support and social support?

SPEAKER_01 13:38

Yes, yes, absolutely. So I love to cite research. I'm all about the heart of what I'm teaching, but I want also to show research because I know that that matters. And the benefits of peer support are just off the charts in general, but not just for us with uh substance use disorder. You know, if you look at individuals who are dealing with a diagnosis of cancer, when they go to support groups, their prognosis is better. So it's kind of across the board that we need that peer support. And I think the beauty of that is it's evidence from somebody else saying, yeah, you're not, you're not the only one in the world that went through that, you know, because a lot of times when we are struggling, we think no one could understand this. No one, no one could understand me or get through this. And then there's someone right there saying, like, no, no, I I can, you know, and this is what I did. And you're welcome to try this way. Or if you want to try this way, I can walk with you. Yeah, it's really, really powerful. I encountered something that I thought was really interesting. One of my really good friends, my best friends, witnessed um a woman that died by suicide. And unfortunately, it happened in public. And there was a small group of them that were witnesses. And as devastating as you can imagine, the thing that helped him the most was that they got together and they talked about it a couple of days afterwards. And every single one of them said that that's what brought them the most healing was talking about their experience in community. And I think we've learned that from the rooms, you know, from AA and all the 12-step groups that we do need that community. We do need that. And it's so much more than just the peer support. When you look at the social aspect of it, when you're talking about recovery, once we've given up the substance and we're trying to stay sober, your social support is one of the biggest factors in keeping you sober. You know, not just the support as far as like emotional support and calling your sponsor, but my social circle are the people that helped me with getting a ride somewhere when I couldn't drive or picking up my kids when I wasn't able to. There's so many extra things that your support system does for you that leads to um sustained recovery.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

That's such a good point. I think sometimes when we think support, we think like church basement AANA meeting, you know, my substack letter circle of chairs is kind of the reference to the vulnerability and the encouragement and what can happen, the healing that can happen in those spaces. But it's important, like you said, it's not just about meetings or even like sharing, vocalizing, it's about tangible support, like meeting basic needs. How are we helping people be fed and be sheltered and be closed? And, you know, I've had the opportunity to tour an amazing ministry, I'm sure focused ministries out of Knoxville. And they have this beautiful boutique where women who are re-entering into the community can get pretty blouses and necklaces and to feel that they have dignity and worth as they're going to interviews and connecting with people and just those things, ways that we can show up. And have you seen other ministries or churches doing some of those unique kind of innovative ways to show up for people? Or is that part of kind of what you're hoping to educate folks about as you're going into these spaces?

SPEAKER_01 16:45

I would say both. I definitely see people doing all the right things and giving that dignity back because if you haven't been through it, it's really hard to understand. I think most people think, okay, you're off of the drug or the alcohol, you're off of the substance. So your life's just going to get better. And unfortunately, that's not what happens typically. The first two years, you know, are kind of a downslope. They certainly were for me because I just came back to all the problems that I had created for myself and no coping solution that I had, you know, because that was the drugs I was using. A big need that we see is transportation. So I've seen different coalitions team up with different ministries and churches to get their vans and a volunteer driver to take folks to different things. I thought that was a really unique thing. But yeah, we have a lot of people doing the unique work, but it's so much more than that. And if you haven't been there, you don't really get it. But most people are leaving treatment. If they're lucky enough to go to treatment, they're leaving possibly without employment. So they're facing financial insecurity. They could have housing issues. A lot of us have probation and parole requirements. A lot of us have DCS involvement. So it's really, really hard to think about staying sober when you don't know what you're going to eat tomorrow or where you're going to sleep tonight. So I love when you talk about recovery capital because that first year or two is so hard, you know, and that's what we need to be doing for folks or helping people with in that first two years, I think is helping them build up their recovery capital.

SPEAKER_02 18:15

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, amen to that. And I think the more that we talk about this, I think from that starting point of, okay, recovery is about more than sobriety. And when we're talking about supporting and showing up for folks as communities, faith communities, all communities, what are the tangible, really helpful things that we can do? And when I first moved to where we live in Tennessee, I of course was like, okay, how am I going to get involved in recovery advocacy here? So I was doing all the research and found this needs assessment and was talking to faith leaders too. And transportation was the number one barrier for folks who were leaving treatment and needed support. Cause like you said, you leave treatment, you need housing, you need transportation, you need employment. And there are real and significant challenges and barriers for folks. So, how do we work as a community to address that? And like you said, I think you said early on, too, faith communities have a really unique opportunity to be able to step into these places. So before we close, I could just keep talking to you for a long time. We got to keep, we got to keep this conversation going. And I would love to have classy. And I'm going to be seeing you at a conference really soon. Um, so uh what would you say is like one of the biggest barriers for faith communities doing that, like showing up and providing this tangible support? And like how do we how do we help change that?

SPEAKER_01 19:42

I think that the heart is there. I think that the faith communities want to help. They just either are scared to because they think that it's messy, which it is, you know, it is it is messy, but um they don't have to have all the answers. And that's one of the biggest things I like to tell them. Like you can just sit with someone in their hurt. You don't have to make sure that you're doing this or that. But I like to connect them with resources so they can refer that person to whatever they might need. Another thing that I feel like is a buy-in from the entire church. A lot of time I'll work with a congregation that has a small recovery ministry or a celebrate recovery, and they're active and they're wonderful, but the rest of the church has no idea what it is or, you know, why they're doing that. So I love when the pastors that I work with, the lead pastors from the pulpit, talk about addiction, talk about mental illness, talk about the different ministries and support they have at the church. Cause I think that once we normalize it specifically from the faith leaders, then we're going to see a lot more buy-in from the entire congregation and the entire community. And I love to see faith leaders working with different community agencies. I think that's where the real secret sauce is once we all can start working together.

SPEAKER_02 20:54

Yes. Yes. I love that, Kate. Well, thank you so much for joining. Is there anything else you'd want to share before we close today, a call to action for folks or just anything else on your heart?

SPEAKER_01 21:06

I would the call to action I would give is if this pulls on your heartstrings at all, if you want to get involved, contact your local anti-drug coalition because they're working on so many different efforts. And I can promise you that they need volunteers. They need people with the heart and the passion for this work. So I would call and try to volunteer with the local coalition. Beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

Well, thank you so much for your heart and your passion. I'm just so grateful for you and for this community, this statewide community that is just flourishing and growing here. And hopefully it's a seed that's planted and kind of goes out across other states here in the US and uh further. So thank you again, Kate, and look forward to staying connected. Absolutely. Thank you so much, Carolyn. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 21:49

Thanks for listening. For more resources, visit CarolineBeidler.com.