I Was Fully Booked… Then My Health Stopped Everything | Samira Kaur

This episode really puts things into perspective. Because the truth is… we never think our health is going to stop us - until it does. And Samira’s story is a powerful reminder of just how quickly everything can change.

This Episode is Sponsored by Lash Oasis

Tired of your Korean Lash lifts taking too long? Shop the NEW Korean Hybrid system from Lash Oasis now: https://lashoasis.co.uk/

Use code: KARIS to grab your FREE sample 🛍️

Samira takes us right back to the beginning -  from her school days, where she never quite felt like she fit in, to chasing her dream of becoming an actress at drama school. She shares what it was really like navigating that time in her life, including the challenges she faced and how it shaped the person she is today… plus, the surreal moment she got to be an extra in Harry Potter and step inside Hogwarts 🤯

We then move into her journey into the beauty industry, where she found her true passion in lash lifts. Samira opens up about why she fell so deeply in love with the treatment, how she built a fully booked diary around it, and the challenges she had to overcome along the way.

She also shares a moment where she decided to go back into employment.. only to leave after 3 days 🤭 A real, honest reminder that the grass isn’t always greener.

But the heart of this episode is something much deeper.

Samira bravely opens up about her diagnosis of an AVM, the symptoms she experienced while still working, and the reality of undergoing brain surgery. She shares what happened during the procedure, including experiencing a series of mini strokes, and speaks honestly about the mental and physical impact it has had on her life and recovery.

This conversation is a real eye opener - a reminder that we often don’t think about our health until something forces us to, and how important it is to have things in place in our businesses and lives for the unexpected.

We also touch on AI, future plans, upcoming courses, and what Samira’s goals look like moving forward.

This episode is raw, honest, and incredibly inspiring.

One you won’t want to miss 🤍

This Episode is Sponsored by Lash Oasis:

Tired of your Korean Lash lifts taking too long?  Shop the NEW Korean Hybrid system now: https://lashoasis.co.uk/

Thank you for pressing play and joining me! If you would love to connect - follow and DM me. I would love to hear your stories.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

You don't have time to do things later. If there's something I want to do, I can make it happen. The fear. Like I sometimes even sit there thinking, oh my god, imagine if I just wanted my own business.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

I loved it, it was the best thing I ever did. Beginning is the hardest. A lot of people just give up. We're actually making our brains less intelligent because we are getting something else to do it. How did this impact you mentally? Hello and welcome back to Be on the Tweezers. In today's episode, we are sitting down with the most talented Samira. She is most known for her lash lifts. Her lash lifts are absolutely beautiful. She's also known for her heirloom feathering, which is a technique to create very natural lash extensions. In today's episode, we are learning about her experience, her story of how she ended up specializing in lash lift, how she ended up in the beauty industry. But the main focus is talking about her health and what she would put in place for being a self-employed business owner because she has experienced a brain injury, which she's very open online about, and she's taking us through what she's experienced, how she's feeling during recovery, what she would have put in place for her business, and how she has moved forward with her business. It's an incredible episode. I'm really excited for you to watch. So I really hope you enjoy it. And again, if you haven't pressed that follow or subscribe button, make sure you do now so you never miss an episode. And also it just makes this podcast grow even more. I hope you enjoy. So, Samira, welcome to Be On The Tweezers. Thank you for being here. I feel like today's conversation is something that I think so many people need to hear because I feel like so many listeners could actually be going through health conditions, medical conditions, and being self-employed. The fear. Like, how would I even navigate that in my business? Do you know what you mean?

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Equally, I think it's something that a lot of people probably don't even think about until they're in that situation.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Because you never know what's gonna happen tomorrow, you know. So I'm really excited that we're gonna dive into this, but before we do, I want the listeners to know the Samira that I know because I absolutely adore you because we've been when did we meet?

SPEAKER_01 2:36

I think it was at the lash awards, probably the first time. Yeah, it might have been. I have a confession, so I actually knew of you way before that. I had seen you on Instagram, and then I think did you enter lash battle? Not last year, the year before, like a couple of years ago. Yeah, and I did this time. I no, you won something though. Um, yeah, the second year. Fine. I didn't stay for the award ceremony, but I was kind of watching, I think they live streamed it, and I just kept seeing you, and I was seeing you online a lot at the time winning loads of awards, and then the lash awards the next year we hadn't met. Um, you weren't judging, I wasn't judging, we had both entered and you won stuff there as well. And in my head, Caris Warren was just the girl who kept winning all the awards. You still have that little story, and then we met the following year at the lash awards, properly, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_02 3:33

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I used to see you online as well. Did you? Yeah, because I felt like your branding is really catching. Like I feel like, because you've always been like the lash lift queen and your feathered like the um now feathering, yes. Yes, yeah, yeah. So I almost found it like, oh, you're doing something different, but your whole brand, everything, was very very bold and professional, and like I don't know, like not seductive, but what's the word where it's just like you just think, oh, that is glamorous, you know, like that sort of thank you.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

I I mean my inspo for the rebrand was soulburn. I have not seen it, have I not? It was meant to be kind of like old money, a little bit gothic, a little bit messy, but like seductive. Yeah, I like it. Like grown up, sexy.

SPEAKER_02 4:23

Yeah, like I feel like you would be like a like a the clients that you have are like women.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

Yes, my branding before that was uh Barbie pink and luminous yellow, and I was 21, 22. No, I hate the colour pink, and I think the inspo behind that was Lash Girl kind of sounds like a superhero, like Lash Girl. Yeah, yeah. So I was trying to go with like a comic vibe. Um, and I was young, I was early 20s, and I thought, oh, lashing is fun, it's not serious. Everyone was doing kind of typography minimalistic logos at the time, and I wanted to do something a bit different, and I just hated it for so long, and it felt really forced. And when I was rebranding, it just feels so much more natural now because it is that that is how I dress and live, and yeah, the pink was definitely not your vibe. No, no, okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

So before you went into the industry, let's go way back. So you left school, was did you go into beauty or did you go into like a the corporate world?

SPEAKER_01 5:37

So I dropped out of school at 16. Okay. Um, which was one of my biggest regrets for such a long time. So, rewind a few years. I was at drama school full-time, and we only had eight people in our whole year group, and it was a super tiny school. We it was very vocational, so we would do academic stuff in the morning, have lunch, and then the afternoon would be like ballet, tap, jazz, singing, accents, like a mix of things, and I really loved it, but it was so far from where I lived, and GCSEs were coming up, and my mum wanted me to go back to a normal school, and um the private schools in the area wanted me to retake a year because we didn't do science at drama school or ICT, we basically didn't do anything. Thank god, because science is awful. But I think it's a compulsory subject, so I'm not sure why we weren't doing it. So then I ended up going to another school which I absolutely hated. It was very difficult going from having eight people in my whole year to then being at a state school with hundreds of kids. It wasn't the nicest area, and I just remember rocking off on my first day with my juicy cachor handbag, and just no one liked me, I wasn't having a great time. Um, and then I had six months off school because I was an extra in Harry Potter in year, I think I was in year 10. And then again, I came back and everyone's like, Oh, I thought she laughed because I just hadn't been there. And then when they found out it's because I was in Harry Potter, everyone disliked me even more. What? So one of my friends now actually admitted that she didn't like me when we were at school because she was jealous that I was in Harry Potter, and she really liked Harry Potter. Because I was just thinking, like, Harry Potter, like my whole family, I'm upset. Obsessed. I used to tell my mum that I'm gonna go to Hogwarts one day, and she was like, Sammy, it's not real. And I was like, no, watch, I'm I'm gonna go to Hogwarts, and then I ended up going to Hogwarts. I loved it, it was the best thing I ever did, but I really struggled going from drama school to then going back to like a normal academic setting and a normal routine. So, why did you go? Why was you having to leave the drama school? What was it? It was uh like almost a two-hour journey from where I lived, and I was getting home at 5 pm, doing homework, going to bed, and then doing the same thing at 8am the next morning, and I think my mum, who is a teacher, wanted me to just have a solid educational foundation and then focus on acting. And I have always been really academic, and she could see that that was falling behind.

SPEAKER_02 8:12

So, how did you feel in that moment when you had to leave though? Did you feel like you wanted to be in drama? Like, did you want to be in acting less?

SPEAKER_01 8:19

Very much, and I was still having um acting lessons, so I then switched to just having an acting coach that came and worked for me once a week. I was still going to auditions, I still had the same agent I have.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

So it's not like it was taken away from you and opportunity. It was like journey's a bit far, you can still do it.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

My mum was so supportive, she found a way to kind of work around it and she would still take me to auditions. So you've got a beautiful relationship with your mum, haven't you? Yeah, it's so close. I think it's because I'm an only child as well. But also, my mum is so open and just not strict and so unbothered that nothing I could ever say to her would shock her. Genuinely, I think I could come home with a 90-year-old man and be like, Mum, this is the love of my life. We're getting married next month. And I think she'd be like, Cool, whatever you want to do. I'll buy the dress. Yeah, I think she's just always let me do what I want to do and just supported me in it. Um, but yeah, I was still doing acting on the side. I then started doing music around 14, 15, which looking back, I really cringe because I'm 14 and it's all very poppy, and I was spending all the money I was making from acting work on studio time, and I was writing all these little songs, and I really thought I was gonna be a pop star, and I really, really wanted to pursue entertainment. Um, I left school at 16, wasn't having a great time there. I also just had a lot of family stuff going on at the time, and my heart just wasn't in it anymore. And I think with acting, it really is a labour of love. You can be the best actress in the room, but if you don't look right for the role, you're not gonna get it. So you're not really in control of how much you progress.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

Would you say it's like quite cutthroat? Of like they're a bit like, oh, you don't fit that, you can be great, but you're just not.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

Yeah, but I think because you're so used to rejection on a constant basis, you're kind of a little bit immune to it because you you have to learn to not take it personally. So you're quite thick skinned, would you say, with it? I think I am sensitive, but I think it's really difficult to offend me. Because you've had that experience at such a young age. Yeah, like I'm not the kind of person where you know, if I put myself forward for something and the answer's no, I'm gonna go and cry and be really upset and think, oh no, I'm not good enough. I just it's just I wasn't right for that, or they're missing out. Like, I would never doubt my my value. Because that's what I love about you, actually.

SPEAKER_02 10:51

You have um that way about you where you're like, I'm good enough to do that. Like, you you almost have that, you back yourself, and I love that. I think I have the opposite of imposter syndro.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

Maybe I'm a little bit too confident. No, that's good. I think in business you have to be delusionally confident because if you're not, you won't succeed. You have to have the mindset of this is what I want to do, it's gonna work one way or another. If the first thing you try doesn't work, you pivot, you try something else, but in the end, you will achieve what you want to do. And I think I've always had that mindset that if there's something I want to do, I can make it happen. Why not? Yeah, if anyone else can, why can't you? You know? Yeah, that's a good mindset to have. Um, so then I left school. I dropped my mum was like, you know what, you're you may as well just drop out, focus on music, get a job, do whatever you want to do. There's no point you wasting time in six form if you don't know what you're doing there. So I was still doing music on the side and I did go to beauty college. Um, I did my level two MVQ. It was cute, it was fun. I just realized I didn't want to work in a salon for minimum wage. I didn't want to work in a spa that just wasn't what I envisioned for myself. Um, so then for the next few years, I kind of flitted between one dead-end job to another. I've worked as an estate agent, I've worked in a call centre, I have done so many different jobs. I then was working at Dreams head office. I remember. Um I was there for a year or two, and then I had a friend that was like, Why don't you do lashes? I just really wanted to work for myself. That's all I knew. I just wanted my own business. I had never had my lashes done at this point. I knew nothing about it. When you set your lashes, extensions or lash lift? Extensions. I did a quick Google. I found, I booked onto the first course I found. I didn't do any research onto it, and the course was awful. They passed you on the day, like many courses. I didn't know what I was doing, but I was like, I'm gonna make this work. And literally the next day, I registered my company with company's house, very premature. And I was like, I'm gonna be a businesswoman, I'm a limited company. Um, and seven months later, I was able to quit my job and do it full time.

SPEAKER_02 13:09

You saying that I did an episode with a lady called Marissa, and she said, You have to basically be the person you want to be there and then, like you have to like visualize what would that person be. So you getting it. I was like, I'm a business owner, I'm a company director. Why not?

SPEAKER_01 13:27

And then seven months later, that's exactly what you was, do you know? It was very scary going full-time, but everyone kept saying to me, you know, unless you take that leap and you free up more time in your diary, you're never gonna get more clients, therefore the business is never gonna grow. Um, so yeah, and I was lucky that I was still living at home at the time, so I was financially pretty free and able to take that road.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

So that first course wasn't great. No. But then how did you how did you find a way of getting as good as you are? Did you go on more courses?

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Yeah, a lot of it initially was just like self self-taught, watching YouTube videos, uh, watching people on Instagram. I think it took me about a year of doing that until I was like, okay, I I can do this. And then I did more courses. I did uh a couple of like one-to-one mentoring sessions. I never actually did like another official like beginner's course. I just did a few mentoring courses here and there. Then I did lash lifts, which changed my life, and I wish I had started with that, and so that's what I always tell students that inquire start with lash lifts. I feel like I'm I feel like the same. Yeah, it's a nice way to ease yourself into working on people's eyes and doing something that's fiddly but doesn't feel impossible. Um, and then if you like it and you enjoy it, then think about doing extensions. Extensions are so difficult that I think often if you don't have a beauty background and you're not naturally a perfectionist, it can feel very overwhelming. And before you get to the point of being good, a lot of people just give up.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

And yeah, I think being an educator now, I've actually had to experience all of that of where because I love it doesn't mean like because I have all this passion, I don't think I don't see like my if my students don't have it, that's also okay. Like if they don't want to do it, it's not on me, but it's because they have no beauty background, they don't realise how hard it is, and then I almost used to blame myself to thinking, oh, did I did I deliver that right? Or but actually, it's just really hard to isolate, put it's so many micro movements, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 15:35

And then aside from learning the actual skill, it is starting and running a business, which is a whole other side that I think people don't anticipate being as difficult as it is. And I I make students do case studies, I follow up, I kind of push to get them qualified. Yeah, and then I feel like after a certain point it's up to them what they do with it. I will always check in and be like, hey, just wanted to see if you're still like doing lashes, like, do you need any help? But you cannot force someone to push through and find that moment to do it.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

You can lead a horse towards so you can't make it drink, yeah. Because I always do feel like I I'm I'm the same checking in and making sure everyone is like they're doing their case studies, like, especially when you can see someone has real potential, and you're like, don't on the day, like you've got something here, yeah, don't waste it. But also, you can't expect someone to have the same drive as we do.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

I'm very all or nothing, so if I'm going into something, I'm gonna put 200% in and literally just focus on that and make it work somehow. But I appreciate not everyone is like that.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

No, and it's also okay not to be like that, but I think when you're opening a business, I don't think it's for everyone either.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

And you have to be very committed in the beginning, you can't be half in while you're starting. I think that's when it takes the most amount of work and the beginning is the hardest, yeah, because you've got no clients, you've got to put yourself together. So you have to lose your ego because you will be begging people to come and model for you, you'll be giving away free sets, people are not just gonna book you. And if you're too embarrassed and prideful to post on Instagram asking for models, too embarrassed to ask around, too embarrassed to share that you're starting this new business, it isn't it's not gonna work.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

No, because they're not gonna just knock at your door and be like, Can you do my lashes? I used to be annoyingly. I used to ask everyone.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

I qualified, I think, in August, um, practiced a few months. I remember there was one month where for the whole month I basically just did free sets. I think I was still working at that time, and I did about 25 freesets of extensions, and it helped me so much because I improved so much in that time, and I was like, Do you know what it was worth it?

SPEAKER_02 17:53

Yeah, I actually had a student who was leaving her case studies really far apart, so she'd do a set and then wait quite a long time. So, yes, she was progressing, but she wasn't progressing in a way of how much she could if she had it in the space of momentum, is so important. Yeah, so I had um she actually sent me two case studies in like one week, then the next week, and I actually said to her, Can you just have a minute and just look at how you had that model in the next week? Look how much you've improved because you've already building up that movement in your hands, that muscle memory, yeah. And she was like, I can see it, I can see it.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

And it's you think, oh, like the beginning is scary because there's so much to remember, and you don't have anyone there telling you, Oh, don't forget to do this, don't forget to change your blue drop, don't forget to check for stickies. So if you're not practicing regularly in the beginning, you're gonna forget all the important bits, and it's gonna feel so much scarier, you're then gonna put it off for longer, and eventually it will just fizzle out, and you'll end up just not doing it. Yeah. And then you feel like then you just give up, and then you've wasted money, time, and it could have been something really good.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

Yeah. Yeah, so true. So you did your lash lift course and then you just fell in love. I love lash lifts.

SPEAKER_01 19:11

If I could only do lash lifts for the rest of my life, I'd be a very you are lash lift queen.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

I love lash lifts. And can we just say it here? When is this online course coming out? I knew you were gonna ask about that.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

Because I say it every time. Okay, so I actually was halfway through editing it. I then lost a lot of the script I had written for the voiceover, and I was like, oh, I'm back to square one. Um, I since have decided I want to redo the whole thing because I have spent the last day or two bashing Korean lash lifts very publicly.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

I will say I still semi-stand by it. Sorry, I just clicked what you just said using bashing. I know, I know. I was the same. I know, I still semi-stand by it.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Um, however, I do think there's a time and a place where getting the solution a little bit higher up on the lash line has has a benefit. But I have been unknowingly doing that already. So, for example, if I have a client that has really watery eyes where I'm struggling to get their lashes to stick on the shield or they're very straight, I do use systemine and I do go higher up. So I'm like, is that not a Korean lift? Because being glueless doesn't so I've never used systemine till Koreans come out.

SPEAKER_02 20:27

Okay, so for me, Korean Do you like it? Yeah, I think the results are well. Because you were using one shot, right? Yeah, always, and I just always That was my go-to. That's my always my go-to. I was like, it works, why do I need a slower system? And then now I've gone to Korean and it is a longer process, but to me, I actually see that the hair I feel like the hair looks healthier. When you say you've switched to Korean, I've not switched for loo.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

What are you doing differently just using systemine?

SPEAKER_02 20:58

Yeah, so I'm not using glue. Okay. I'm just literally mixing the powder, putting them on the shield. What are you doing for step two? Are you using glue? Um, no. You're just okay, fine. That's just using um a tiny bit of powder. Okay. And I put a bit of nourishing um cream on and they just go up because they're soft already. So it's a complete for me, it's like a completely different. I've had to learn a whole new technique, it feels.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

But then that's when I first Are you doing the different flat shield than swapping the shield? Yes. Are you? Yes. Okay, so I'm not buying into that. I for me, I'm just like, why are we swapping shields? Okay, why? Like you're you you can do the powder on the shield you're gonna use for step two. But you could do everything you're doing now without the flat shield, and it would still be a Korean lift. Because actually, first of all, there is no definitive definition of what a Korean lift is. Some people say it's glueless, some people say it's not, some people say it's just using systemine, some people say it's using a flat shield. I don't think there is a clear definition of of what technically is a Korean lift. Anyway, back to the online course. I am semi-taking it back. I think there's a time and a place, and I think it's important to know how to use both systems. Um, and if needed, create a hybrid between both. Um, so I want to do that, and so I want to refilm everything, and also I think I need a good videographer. I think I was trying to film it myself. Me and my friend were trying to do it, and it you it was getting the job done, but it was just not perfect. And I feel like when you do launch it, so many people will be like, I want it to be really good, and I also want it to be something that existing lash lift artists can also utilize. I want it to be so thorough and in-depth that it doesn't matter if you're a beginner or you're five years in, there's something you're gonna take from it. Because I believe that a good beginner course covers everything. So even if you're like super super into lash lifts already, you might not know about the different ingredients or how to troubleshoot. Because I know when I did I've done multiple lash lift courses, and I was going on courses and learning new things on every single one, yeah. Even though I'd been doing lash lifts for years all the time, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Also, um, Lash Mother Uli posts so much about ingredients and stuff like that, and I'm just like, courses don't teach you this.

SPEAKER_02 23:18

No, because it's more the science. I feel like on courses is more like this way you do results, here you go. But actually, when you dive deeper in the world, I love the science behind it. Um I know it's so fascinating because there's so much that goes into it, especially different hair types. Yeah, which also then I think, like you were saying, and when someone does a lash lift course first, if they knew that when they go and do lash extensions, yeah, they almost can you know about porosity, you know, about like how different hair types of what it curls, you know, yeah, like lash directions, because you're already then analysing someone's eye.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

I think even just being familiar with what different lashes look like can help because otherwise you can get a client in that has you know a really full lash line, and it's very intimidating just seeing like, oh my god, this person has so many lashes on their eyelid, and I've got to stick an extension on every single one. Whereas when you have been lifting and you're used to doing your lash wraps and isolating the lashes, you're like, Okay, I can do it. It's doable. So yeah, I I would say start with lash lifts. Also, it's more popular at the moment, anyway. Clean girl era. So you did-I thought clean girl era was on the way out. I think it's I thought we were I know they were really trying to force the like grungy, like hair and chic, like glitter eyeshadow. I I know they were saying that that's gonna be the thing. Not really seen it.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

I think everyone is becoming more comfortable in themselves, and I feel like it's so nice. I love that. You love that everyone's like turning even online with no makeup on or just being who they are. I feel like it's a complete shift. So I don't think the big eyelashes are there. I think everyone's embracing just who they are, and I feel like this here to stay because lash lifts have gone even even bigger, haven't they? I love it, and I feel that's that's what you're most known for is your lash lift. You can have fully booked days right out with just lash lifts. I mostly do lash lifts. I would say maybe only do one or two sets of extensions a week.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

See, that's I think that is crazy.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

Like it's incredible, and it's always been like that, even before lash lifts kind of popped off. So, how did that how did that happen for you? What what happened?

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Was you just was it word of mouth or was you just I think I was intentionally posting lash lifts more and really pushing for it. So you would get changing your audience too. Yeah, and then I would get clients come in for feathering and they had gorgeous, thick, long lashes anyway. And I was like, feathering is just gonna look like your lashes with the lift. Why don't you try lash lift? And I was just slowly converting everything to lash lifts for my benefit as well as theirs. Um, I think extensions are gorgeous for a special occasion once in a while, but back to back is not really my vibe. I'm not a fan of people getting infills every two, three weeks constantly. I just think it's nice to let your lashes have a bit of a breather, be able to give them a good scrub, clean them properly. But also, lash lifts are so nice for day to day. It's low maintenance, it's great if you've got hay fever, it's great if you sleep on your face, it's great if you've got like a heavy oil-based skincare routine. Very low maintenance, isn't it? It's so easy. You can still wear strip lashes, mascara. You there's nothing really that you can't do with a lash lift. Whereas extensions are they are hard work. I'm such an extension girl though. I mean, I don't get them, but I love them. I love how they look, but for me personally, I hate the feeling when they start to grow out and you can feel the little base where the glue starts. I start picking at them. I hate that you can't control how they fall out. So like one side might fall out fast, or they're not falling out so much. I don't know which one's gonna have a shade. That bugs me. I can't deal with the asymmetry. Whereas a lash lift, you know it's gonna, it's gonna grow out pretty much the same.

SPEAKER_02 26:57

It's like personal preference, isn't it? It's like I ha I only do probably two lash lifts or three lash lifts a week. Really? Yeah, all I'm literally just it's just extensions. My whole diary is all extensions. You're poor, but I'm just enrists. Don't worry, I look after myself, have a sports massage once once a month, and she puts me back together. But I don't really see, I only see like four clients a day. If it's extensions, I'm not I'm not putting myself in. That's why I charge more. Yeah, because then I can see less.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

I think it's physically impossible to do like a whole whole full eight-hour day of extension. Well, you see, I see people doing it.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

Yeah, mental, like even longer, like 12-hour days. I just think I I would hate my job actually.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

I think the maps I've ever done is three full sets in a day, and I wanted to die afterwards. I was ready to throw myself out the window. I couldn't see, I had like double vision, my wrists hurt, my back hurt. I also don't talk when I'm doing extensions because I can't multitask. Right. So I always just stick on a podcast, my clients just fall asleep. So I'm like hyper fixated on what I'm doing. It's really intense to be doing that all day long. Yeah, do you know what though?

SPEAKER_02 28:06

I've got so used to it that I zone out and I get such like sometimes I don't even hear what's playing. I'm just it's like my happy place. I just go into like a mode of just I might I love that view, but I agree. My clients say, how do you do this all day? I'm just like, I just I really I I have the minimum because I only see four clients really a day. It's not really that that much. Do you know what I mean? Like I'm three or four clients a day. Yeah, so I'm not really doing it to the extent of what if I had a fifth client, I probably would hate my day because I'd be like exhausted. But no, I think you when you I'm so addicted to lash extensions in the sense of like I love everything about it. When I was first doing it, I was obsessed. Like I was so addicted of like the mascara look and how you can give someone something like that. Did you start off with extensions? Um, yeah, fine. I think I did all beauty, so I was amongst facials, everything, you know, all of it.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

Personally, in an ideal world, I would rather do like one set of extensions a day. If I'm gonna do extensions, I would love to do more creative work.

SPEAKER_03 29:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:15

So maybe like TV and film or like red carpet where I'm spending like two, three hours, three and a half hours, like creating something that's really special, and that's like my whole day, rather than in a salon where I'm doing like an average, not like an average set, but like so it's not repetitive, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because I do very natural work, I do feel like a lot of the sets I do are basically just variations of the same thing. My clients want them very short, very natural, and the styling is very similar. And so I don't often get to be creative and experiment with other things unless it's for content or something specific.

SPEAKER_02 29:59

That's why I mix it up and have models in so I can be more creative because obviously every infill, no one really wants to change it up. Yeah. But that's why I always just get my fix by but I love it that much. Yeah. So I think it just depends on what you find is something that is like your everything, like lash lifts seem to be your baby. Was there any point throughout where you thought you might just throw the towel in and just give up at all with your business?

SPEAKER_01 30:26

A couple of times, and actually, very recently, not many people know this, but I actually went back to my old job. I lasted three days, so I went I went back to dreams. I it wasn't the same role I was doing before. The plan was to just do that part-time and then lash part-time. I think because I knew I had um issues with my health and surgery coming up. I wanted to just have stable income that was guaranteed and not have to worry about am I well enough to lash and all that kind of stuff. It was very surreal going back to my old workplace, which I had not, I think I was I left in 2023 or something. So it's no longer than that. 2021. It's been a while. I was 21 when I worked, then I'm 31 now. Um all the same people were there. Oh no, one had changed. There were a couple of new people in customer service, but the managers and stuff were the same. It was just very weird. It was like stepping back in time in a dystopian kind of way.

SPEAKER_02 31:47

I remember we were stuck in the basement doing training, and I was just like, This is it was like all spreadsheets, and just did you kind of walk in it just smack you all in the face that you were like, This is why I left. Well, I was really excited initially.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

I brought a whole like office wardrobe. Oh. I was doing like an ASEL shop. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna be in my like office girl era, I was ordering all these like loafers and cute little slinky tops. I'm gonna be the best dressed person there. And I walked in and I was like, Oh my god, this is I it was cute when I was 21, but not now. Got to day three, we were on our morning break. I called my stepdad and I was like, I can't do this. I actually need to leave. And he was like, just go home. So I told them that I was leaving. Best of luck to you guys. I'm off. I remember going home. I went to my parents, went to my mum's, came on the dog walk because I'd made it in time because it was like half the day was still there. I was on the dog walk, the wind was like blowing on my face, and I'm smiling at this guy, and my mum's like, I've never seen you this euphoric. I was so happy to be out in daylight because this was winter, it was winter, I think it was like November. I was leaving my house, it was pitch black. I was getting home, it was pitch black. There were plates pearled up in my sink because I didn't have time to like do anything when I got home, I was exhausted. I don't know how people do it. So, did you have a realisation of what you've created? Yes, you know, a good thing. Yeah, and I was like, you know what? I'm never taking my business for granted again. I've got such an amazing thing going where I have freedom in the hours I work, I've got flexibility, I don't have to work full days. My job is really enjoyable, apart from extensions back to back, but for the most part, it's really enjoyable because so many of my clients are really similar to me in terms of like age and interests, and we really get on. I genuinely enjoy being really connected, yeah, and I've become really good friends with my clients. Um The office was not it. I remember one of the other girls who started on the same day as me. We were in the break room, and she was like, I love the desks and customer service, and I was like, The desks, she was like, Yeah, they're really big and spacious. And I'm like, Oh, she was like, Yeah, I thought we'd all be like together, and I'm like, This is so crazy that you're excited about desk size. And I was just like, She was very young, again, cute when you're 21, not when you're 31.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

Um but do you think maybe you did that in a hurry because you were so worried about the money side? Like, you could you put your flat now, yeah, you live on your own, we're gonna get into your health next. But that's a scary thing. That is like, did you think you just thought, okay, I just need to do this?

SPEAKER_01 34:35

I think I've had the kind of desire to be back in a more normal working environment for a while. I missed having colleagues, I missed the social aspect of work, even though we are with clients all day. There is a power imbalance in the terms of you are a service provider, they are the client, they're paying you, their eyes are closed. Yes, you're having a conversation, but you're not face-to-face, you're not gonna go out for drinks with them afterwards, you don't get to go to the Christmas party. I missed that, and I think sometimes, especially when you work from home, like I do, it can be quite isolating, and you're in you're seeing the same four walls all the time. Yes, I just felt like I was very stuck. I was in like a weird dating situation at the time, and I was like, I'm not like I always used to meet guys when I used to go out. It was so easy to meet people because I was out and about and I was working with people and I was going out for drinks after work, but then I just felt like I was stuck in my spare room doing lashes, I was with women all day with their eyes closed. Kind of you kind of feel a little bit like you're talking to yourself because they're like there enjoying themselves and isolating actually. Yeah, and I really missed it, and which is why I initially started going to lash events is because I really just craved feeling like I had a normal job and I was part of an industry. Sometimes when you work for yourself by yourself, it kind of feels like you don't have a real job, even though it is. Yeah. Um, so yeah, I had been thinking about doing something on the side for a while. I tried working in salons one day a week just to kind of get out the house. That wasn't really working for me. Um, then I was like, maybe I just need something that's a bit mindless to take my mind off the stress of having a business. But no, I think the key is to appreciate what you have. The grass is not always greener, often it's not greener. That's true. Um, and it just made me want to take it seriously. I think I've been doing it for such a long time that I had gotten a bit stuck and stagnant.

SPEAKER_02 36:42

Not kind of knowing where you're going, sort of thing.

SPEAKER_01 36:44

You're just gonna be like, I was just kind of coasting along, floating. Yeah, I had clients in, I wasn't having to massively push to get people to book. No, I was making enough money. Um, I wasn't where I wanted to be, but I wasn't in a bad place either.

SPEAKER_02 37:01

Do you think you maybe lost a little bit of the excitement? Yeah. Because I feel like that's I think a lot of people go through that where you're like, well, I feel a bit, everything's a bit repetitive. I'm bit feel a bit bored. Which is not, which is doesn't mean you hate your job. It just means that you you feel like you need something to.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

When I had first started out the first couple of years where I was going on courses, I made a point to go on at least one course or masterclass each year. That was keeping me excited and interesting because I was still learning things, there was still so much to learn. I still think there's loads for me to learn, but not so much. And so I see events coming up or like masterclasses, and it's stuff that I already know so much about that I'm like, I kind of don't feel like this is worth my while. Um, so yeah, I started doing brows, which are beautiful. I love doing brows, and it kind of switched it up a little bit for me, and is a nice break from doing lashes all day.

SPEAKER_02 37:57

So, do you think leaving that job, dreams, do you feel like your perspective on everything has completely changed? What would you say that you now look at your business like?

SPEAKER_01 38:08

I'm just a lot more appreciative. Um I think I can be quite sassy since my dreams experience. I'm like, you know what? Ask me all the questions you want, ask me 200 questions, message me all night long if you want. Like, I'm happy to ask away. So it's just it humbled me. And I think we need that sometimes. Sometimes I think we take our business for granted. And I think I had maybe gotten a bit not cocky, but too comfortable. I was like, I'm really good at what I do. I've got clients that travel far to come and get their lashes done by me. I'm booked up. I don't like I don't need to not try, but like it just everything felt really easy. Yeah. Then I moved outside of London. That gets you a bit complacent when it feels easy. And I think that's not good in any job. Um, so it's definitely made me just re-evaluate my approach to everything and just giving other people a bit more grace. It's your first time having lashes, it's okay if you have silly questions, I can guide you in the right direction. I'm happy to do that. And also, I think just learning to be able to make everyone feel comfortable. I think I'm quite confident, and most of my clients are. So then sometimes when I get a client that's quite shy, I find it difficult because I'm being really chatty and they're not. And before it would make me feel like they didn't like me, but now I've realized, oh, I just need to like ease them into the conversation because everyone is just so different, and it takes people time to warm up to people. I think it's just made me really grateful, and I love having my own business, even though it's really hard, and I don't think I could ever go back to being employed. No, even if I don't lash forever and I pivot and I do something else eventually, I always want to work for myself, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

Because there is something about being your own boss and having freedom. Like, I feel like I've had this little moment recently where I'm just a bit like, wow, I've created this life that if I want to finish early, I can. Like, it almost felt like you know, when you think, oh my god, you have a proud moment, and then you almost think, I I've done this, but I actually find it's the freedom is the is the goal. Like, yeah, we want to make money, like the money, obviously, we want to make money, but my success is the fact that I can't do it. Your life is yours, and I can go see my mum, yeah, go on a dog walk.

SPEAKER_01 40:54

Yeah, those three days, it was three and a half days, actually. There's three and a half days back at my old job. I felt really claustrophobic. Yeah, I was like, I'm being dictated when I can take my break, I have no time to do anything. I was panicking, I was wasting for my surgery date, and I was like, what's gonna happen when I get my surgery date? And they're like, No, you can't take your break. I feel rushed all the time. Yeah, I was just really stressed. I was like, how do people like especially with kids and stuff as well? Yeah, I don't know how people do it, but they don't know any different it's really hard.

SPEAKER_02 41:25

That's what the crazy thing is, it's like my sister, she's in insurance, and I always say to she's not now, she's travelling the world, but I always say to her, like, you could do she's um, you know, I was showing you my dad's paintings, very artistic. My sister's got his talent. Okay, she's incredible, right? She does she could be a tattooist, she could be an art, like she could, she needs to do something with her art, but it's scary, isn't it? The fact of leaving her very high-paid job to go and do something for yourself, but because you've never known any different, she's never known any different, it's hard for people to get out of that nine to five rat race. Does that make sense? It's that it's the fear of unknown. Um so for us, we would be like, I I could not, I couldn't be I couldn't be someone, I couldn't have someone be my boss ever.

SPEAKER_01 42:14

Every job I've ever had, um, apart from my last one, I've been fired or fallen out with my manager. And to be fair, even at Dreams, me and my old manager had many disagreements, so I just I'm not good at being told what to do. Um, so I think working for myself genuinely is the only answer. When I told my mum I was going back to my old job, she's like, Yeah, you're not, you're not gonna last. Her and my stepdad had a bet on how long I would last. They thought it was gonna be longer than three and a half days, though. He was closest. Neither, they both said it would be a couple of weeks. Yeah, like Chesh or maybe like get to like end deprivation or something. You knew what you want, you've got a strong mind on you. I gave it a go. You did give it a go. I felt like I was cosplaying when I was there. I genuinely didn't feel like I was there to work a job. I felt like I was just playing at having a normal job for a day, rocking up with my little pack lunch and my little office outfit. Yeah, and my outfit with my little laptop and my headset doing training. I felt like I was just on like an interactive experience on a couple of days.

SPEAKER_00 43:19

An episode of like a try someone else's job. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:24

Before we dive back into the episode, I just wanted to quickly talk about something that I know a lot of you can relate to. Korean lash lives give unreal results, right? But the one thing that is a tiny bit annoying about it is how long it takes. You can literally be sat there twiddling your thumbs, looking at the plot, thinking, Oh my god, I just need this to hurry up. You can relate, right? Well, Lash Oasis has just launched a brand new system, and this is what I've been trying to do. It's completely built. Around systeming is actually been designed to work faster, which is such a game changer. Because let's be honest, processing time is one of those things that can really thresh you out, and that's why I've fallen in love with the career natural system. The system in based products are gently on the hair, there's less risk of overprocessing. So the fact that Lash Oasis have created something built around that that actually works faster, it just makes so much sense. If you haven't tried it yet, this new product is available for you to grab now on their website. Just shop at lasholases.co.uk and I'll leave the link in the description note so you can easily access it. Alright, let's get back into the episode. So you did your job, but obviously you have just mentioned that you have had the health problems and you were waiting for surgery. You're very open about this online, which I love because I think so many people you probably had in your DMs maybe that have had things similar or having health issues or anything like that. If anyone's listening or watching and they don't know what you've been through, could you just explain from the start? Is it something that you because it's to do with your brain? Is it something that you've had forever and then you've been waiting for the surgery, or is it something that happened in like your teens or your adult life?

SPEAKER_01 45:36

So I got my diagnosis in 2024. It is something I was born with, but I didn't have any symptoms until maybe like 2021, 2022. I initially thought I had nerve damage from lashing, so I was getting pins and needles in my right hand. Um, and then after a while it kind of spread to my face, my face would kind of go numb, my eyebrow would droop, stroke-like symptoms. Yeah. It would often happen at the gym when my heart rate was up. Um, but again, because it started in my hand, and this is primarily the hand I get the most pain in from lashing. I just thought it was nerve damage. I had a lash friend that had nerve damage uh from lashing, and I was like, oh, I must have that. Uh went to the GP who thought it was a rare type of migraine that causes stroke like symptoms, referred me to a neurologist. I had to wait over a year and a half to get my neurology appointment. Again, he also thought it was migraines, sent me for an MRI anyway, and the MRI um showed that I have an AVM, which stands for arteriovenous malformation. It is basically a malformation of the blood vessels in your brain. You can have an AVM anywhere on your body. So because you have blood vessels everywhere, you can have it on your face, on your arm, on your spine. I think most common places are brain and spine. It is very rare. Less than 1% of the population have it. Wow. Most people don't know they have it until it bleeds. So the major risk of uh an AVM is stroke or hemorrhage. Basically, um the I might get this the wrong way around. I think arteries feed into capillaries and then veins or the other way around, but basically, with an AVM, there are no capillaries in that section. Okay. So the capillaries buffer the blood flow, they kind of slow it down, steady it. Without that buffer system, the blood flow is really erratic. So you're more likely to then get ballooning of the veins and arteries, which can then become an aneurysm, which can then burst and bleed. Because that can happen, aneurysms can happen anytime, right? Yeah. Um, so you can just get an aneurysm, but you're very at risk of it with an AVM. If you hemorrhage, uh, I think 15 up to 15% of fast-time hemorrhages are fatal. So you waited a whole year to have symptoms from that time to get a scam. And over that time, um, the symptoms were getting worse. That's awful. Makes my whole body feel. And I I didn't think anything of it. I never I didn't think it was gonna be anything serious. And when I initially got my diagnosis, I was m relieved that they had found something and I had an answer. Again, I hadn't done that much research into it until talk of surgery and stuff started coming up, and then I was researching and I was like, oh, this is quite bad. Um, but yeah, 15 up to 15% of first-time hemorrhages are fatal, and almost half of people that survive a hemorrhage will be left with some sort of permanent neurological damage. Um I think if you have an uh a bleed once, you're more likely to have another bleed at some point. Right. So yeah, AVMs, we don't, there's not much known about it. It's believed most of them might just happen at birth. Oh, you're born with it. Most people don't know they have one until it bleeds. So I am grateful that mine was caught before anything massively bad happened. Um, so then there's talk of treatment, like what do we do to prevent risk when you're younger? I think basically the lifetime risk of me having a bleed at some point was 80% because of my age. And where the AVM is in my brain, so we have eloquent brain areas, those are areas of your brain which control major functions like vision, speech, things that are really important because you can have brain damage in an area and that tissue's dead, but it doesn't really affect you. If you lose eloquent brain tissue, you will have like damage, it will be obvious. So mine is in the area that controls my speech and language, and so again, one of my later symptoms was speech jumbling. So sometimes I would read a sentence, I would be able to read the sentence, but it just wasn't registering in my brain. I would go on Instagram and read a caption, and I'd be like, this doesn't make sense. Before surgery. Before surgery, right? Or sometimes I would try, and this is only when I was having like an episode, so not all the time, or sometimes I would try and speak and just the words were not coming out. Like they would come out, but they didn't make sense. I remember one time it happened I was at home with my parents and I was trying to say something about the doorbell, and the word doorbell had just vanished from my head. Like I just couldn't, I was just like pointing to the doorbell, but I couldn't remember the word. So scary. So the risk of having open surgery is that that damage to the brain is highly likely, and I probably wouldn't be able to talk or or move properly. So open surgery was out of the question. The only other option was radio surgery, which is really high doses of radiation, which targets the AVM and like gradually shrinks it. It can also be used on brain tumours. Right. And she was like, I'm so glad that you've been open about it on your stories because I felt really like awkward about talking about it with her clients because she doesn't want like the sympathy, and also people react in different ways. She's had clients like crying over it, and she's like, I'm fine, like I'm alive, but you know, you say something's wrong with your brain, and everyone thinks the worst. For me, it was more just these are symptoms that are happening to me sometimes on a daily basis. I don't want to be in an appointment where I've lost grip of my hands and I can't grip a tweezer, and I'm then having to explain from scratch, like, this is why I can't continue with the appointment, this has happened, or if I have to suddenly stop talking because my speech is slurred and my tongue is numb. So for me, it was more just it's easier to get it out of the way and just tell everyone in one go. But also, I think until you're ill, you don't realize how little the world is adapted for people with illness. Um, I think the stats are 40% of people will experience a neurological issue in their lifetime. And yet, I've heard the most common hospital duration stay for someone who's had a stroke is like four to six days. These people have had bits of their brain die, they can't walk, talk, they're not who they were before, and they're then being discharged. Their world outside of the hospital is essentially the same. Adaptions might be made in terms of okay, we're gonna put a hand railing up or move your bed downstairs, but the people around you don't know how to deal with that. Yeah, learning to walk and talk again. If it's NHS, you're probably gonna have physio maybe once, twice a week. It's very difficult, and I think with brain stuff, people can't see it. No, and so people don't know that there's anything wrong. So many of my clients have said, Oh, you look so healthy, I would never know that you're going through this. Um, so yeah, I had the radio surgery in January, which honestly has been a horrific experience. I was sent in for an angiogram just before the treatment, which is um a diagnostic test they do to kind of see the blood flow in your brain. They slice open an artery feed of catheter all the way up your body into your brain, and then flush your brain with dye, and it just shows you the blood flow. One of the very, very, very, very rare potential side effects is a stroke. As soon as I was taken out of the angiogram theatre suite, I immediately said to the nurse, I can't see properly. Is this normal? My vision was so blurry, I was seeing like flashing lights. Uh, she looked really confused, but didn't seem overly concerned. Took me back to the gamma knife centre. I told four people that I couldn't see. No one took me for a scan. I was still taken in for radio surgery. It wasn't until that evening that I was taken for a CT scan. I was initially told the scan looked normal. The next day, a consultant was like, No, it doesn't look normal. We're gonna send you for an MRI. It was actually this really lovely junior doctor that came and saw me and was like, I think it's a stroke, but I'm just a junior doctor, so what do I know? And I was like, trust your guy, like if you think it's a stroke, I'm gonna trust you because you feel like I was getting good vibes from him, but yeah, it was a stroke. I had a series of small strokes in the area of my brain that controls vision, which is why I was having like the blurred, blurred eyesight and seeing flashing, flashing things. And as a lash artist, to suddenly not be able to see properly was really scary.

SPEAKER_02 55:24

I could imagine.

SPEAKER_01 55:26

I think I've always had a fear of like breaking a wrist or like breaking a finger, like what if I'm on holiday and I'm like doing something because I'm quite active, I like to do things. Like, what if I like go skiing and I like fall, or what if I I don't know, you I always would think about my wrists and I think better. Yeah, and I know like doctors can get like hand insurance and dentists can get hand insurance, and I remember looking into it when I first started lashing, and it was available for so many different career paths, but not beauticians. If you're a tattoo artist, you can get your hands covered. Um, I was always worried about my hands, never my eyes, and I never thought that I would have a stroke at 31.

SPEAKER_02 56:05

I was 30 at the time. So, in that moment, did you sit there and think, oh my god, my whole career's gone?

SPEAKER_01 56:12

Or I was like, what am I gonna do? If I can't see, my mum was like, Sammy, just be calm, like you're stressing yourself out is not gonna make it better. And I was like, no, but who's gonna pay my mortgage? I've got all these bills to pay, I've already taken off so much time off work to recover from surgery. Now I have to recover from a stroke on top of that. I can't see. No one can tell me if my eyesight's gonna get better. Um, no one looked at my eyes. I had to take myself to the eye hospital. They said that my actual eye is healthy, so the vision disturbances are purely neurological. So again, no one can tell me if that's gonna improve or not. So that's scary.

SPEAKER_02 56:56

How did you feel in that moment of like having you just had your surgery, but then you've also just been told you've had a stroke.

SPEAKER_01 57:06

I didn't, I couldn't envision my future. I know that sounds really dramatic. It's not dramatic, not at all. Because I was like, if I can't work, I can't pay my mortgage, I'm gonna have to sell my flat, then I'm gonna have to live back with my parents, then what am I gonna do? Because I already tried to go back to a job and I lasted three days. What am I gonna do? And it made me realize how solely dependent my business is on me being physically well and present. If I'm not physically able to sit there and lash people, I can't make money. I've had to cut my working day drastically. At the moment, I'm only doing one or two clients a day. Slowly trying to increase, but I'm dead at the end of it. Yeah. Yeah, so I'm not making it anywhere near enough to be financially viable. So there are many things that I wish I had done to protect myself. First and foremost, income cover, income protection. I was so young when I started my business. You can get that on like your house insurance, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it just wasn't something I was thinking about. I was 21, 22. You're not thinking about pensions and life insurance and critical illness cover and all this stuff. But when you're young and healthy, that is the best time to get it. You almost think you're invincible, didn't you? You never think something's gonna happen. Yeah, you just don't think it's gonna happen. Even with I don't have a private pension, it's on my to-do list. I always tell myself, oh, it's fine, like that money that I would be putting into a pension, I can just put into a savings account and then invest it and do something with it. Am I putting that money aside? No. So I love the honesty. No, I so it's you have to have these things in place. Yeah, once you're diagnosed with something, it's so incredibly difficult to get cover. I cannot get life insurance at all. I've contacted maybe about 25, 26 different companies. You can't get life insurance now. No one will cover me, no. They'll cover me, but not if something happens to me because of my brain condition, which is like the biggest risk to me at the moment. I get it, you're not gonna, you're not gonna, you know, pay for a burning house.

SPEAKER_02 59:26

But then also you almost feel like you've had something so awful happen to you that you're not even gonna get the support of the case.

SPEAKER_01 59:33

My biggest, yeah. So aside from like my physical health and being like, am I gonna be able to see? There were so many other physical things going on with me at the time related to the medication I was on. Take away that. My biggest worry has been finances. I work myself, I'm not getting sick pay, I was taking so much time off. I couldn't get, I tried to claim Pip. Um, I don't know what that stands for. You get it if you're unwell and unable to work. Right. I'm not entitled to it. Um, I there was nothing in place. If I had had income protection, I think you get like 50 to 70% of what you normally earn. So it's something, you'll get you're getting something. Also, I wish I had put some sort of passive income in place. I wish I had done my online courses when I told you I was gonna do my online courses.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:30

I tell you this, I say this all the time because you're so talented, it would be something that would be a consistent thing because it's like a one-time effort.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:40

It's a it's a big chunk of time to put together and write all your content. And I'm very much anti-AI. Someone said to me, Why don't you just get AI to write all your written content? I was like, No, I want to write it. From the heart, yeah. I like and also when I wrote my training manuals, I learned so much stuff myself because I was going to do such in-depth research, it benefited me as well. So I, yeah, I want to do everything myself, no AI. But then once that's done, it's done, it's there. People can do the course. If I'm off work, I can push the courses. Yeah, yes. Um, so those are the two things. I wish I had financially protected myself with insurance, and I wish I had thought about other ways of making money that didn't involve me being physically present. Yeah. Aside from online courses, social media, I've started um managing people's social media on the side, editing content for them. Again, I feel like you have to be somewhat physically well to be able to do that. It's a lot of screen time. It's a lot of screen time, and when I've been having headaches and stuff like that, it's not been ideal, but at least it's not as intense as like a client facing.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:48

Do you have found other paths and avenues to be able to still earn while you're having this all going on?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:55

I think it's so important in this day and age. I know people with nine to fives always talk about how having just one job isn't enough and you need a side hustle. I think even if you've got a business, it's not enough to just have one trade. You have to be kind of dabbling in other areas as well. Even if it means speaking at events or like hosting um like online events just to get your name out there so that other opportunities come along. I think it's really naive to think that you can just lash clients from home for the rest of your life. There will come a time when you've got kids potentially, and you have to cut down your hours or work around their pickup times that cuts out your evening clients.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:44

It's like thinking in the future of if you have children, what are you gonna do? It's like I had a guest on yesterday actually, and she said she was 18 and she was like, I want to have kids, so I will make sure I like she already had the future already in her mind of I will do it like this so I can still be okay, I can still have a business. And she was thinking that way before she even had the business.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:08

There's a really lovely girl I follow on Instagram who had a baby recently, and I remember she posted, Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be back to work next week, doing a handful of clients a week after Chip. And I was thinking, girl, you're crazy. She didn't, she did, she wasn't back a week later, she needed more time off than she expected, and we've been talking in, it's been harder than she thought it was gonna be.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:30

And I think it's super smart to have systems in place, setting yourself up for the future just in case, if anything, so you're already like one step ahead of if something happens. How did this impact you mentally? Because you've spoken about physically, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:45

How have you actually really felt like I had a really bad four or five weeks where I cried every day, I just wasn't on my phone much, I didn't want to talk to anyone, I wasn't leaving the house, partly because I physically wasn't able to, also because I just felt not like myself. I was gonna say I felt really ugly, but I think that's being unkind to myself. I was my I had really bad acne from steroids, my face was swollen, my hair was falling out, there was just a lot going on, I just didn't want anyone to see me like that. I also was really hurt by the lack of care that I got from people that I thought cared about me, which really surprised me. Um but on a nicer surprising note, I was so surprised at how proactive my clients were in making sure I was okay. You know when people are like, Oh, let me know if you need anything, but it's more just like a they're just saying it to feel like they've shown up, but they don't actually mean it. My clients were so amazing, like they were messaging me like constantly, like, if you need a lift, because I couldn't drive for four weeks either. They were like, if you need a lift, like I'm only down the road, let me know if you need a lift here. And they clients have like when I was feeling well enough to go to like a stretching class at poll, they were like picking me up, dropping me, one of the guards bought me cakes, everyone was sending me flowers, and I was like, you know what? I this is why I love working with women. I think women by nature are so thoughtful and just so kind and caring and considerate. So that's been really sweet, but mentally it's been really tough because I still don't feel like myself. My energy is so low. I will do like one like big thing in a day. I say big thing. For me, a big thing would be like yesterday I had to go to a hospital appointment, get on the tube, dead for the rest of the evening, went to bed at nine o'clock. Um, physically, again, like I've not been able to work out as much as I typically. Do I've been eating really unhealthy because I don't have the energy to cook. Just it's been really hard. I am in therapy. Um, not for the first time, I have had therapy when I was much younger and I didn't find it very helpful. Giving it a go again, getting slightly better vibes this time. Still very early days, so I'm not sure how beneficial it will be. The biggest thing for me has been learning acceptance and learning to let go. Acceptance that you know I don't have control over what can happen to me. My biggest fear with having the AVM was having a hemorrhage or stroke, and I've had a stroke anyway. And I've got to the point where I'm like, okay, whatever happens, I I have to deal with it. I can't live my life in fear.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:53

Did you have the thought of why me? Why have I got it? Did you ever have that across your mind?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:00

I didn't have a why me thought, but I was incredibly, I don't know if jealous is the right word, but just annoyed it's happened in a way. Annoyed at people around me that are healthy and well and have everything going for them, then complaining about silly things like I've got a spot, I feel so ugly, or um like the small things, yeah. Like this guy, my ex, this guy, my ex talking about wanting to go and get a lipo because he feels a bit chubby, and I'm like, I've got a seven-inch bold patch on my head, my face looks like a moon swollen from steroids, I've got a swollen brain, and you're worried about being a bit podgy. Stuff like that really greatly for me now. I'm just like, you don't know how lucky you are, and I get it, like people have down days where they don't feel good in themselves, but I I've always been against people dramatically changing their physical appearance, so I'm all for you know, small tweaks here and there if you have a huge insecurity that's bothered you your entire life. But I hate how normalized it's become to just go and book a five-mil filler package and get your jaw done and cheeks done and show you. Yeah, it's insane, or just fly out to Turkey and shave down your perfectly healthy teeth to get veneers put on that are gonna need to be replaced in 10 years anyway. Or just physical insecurities. I'm really lucky that my mum is super confident in her skin. I've never heard her criticize her appearance. She doesn't wear makeup on a daily basis, she's now growing out her grades, which I love. And so I think that's been one of the biggest things that has gotten me through all the physical changes that have happened this year, is having it in my head that, like, it's not that big of a deal. Who cares that I'm losing a bit of hair? Like, at least I still have hair, at least I'm alive. You know, it's it's not that important. I think people put a lot of emphasis on life is so precious, like, we're only alive once, blah blah blah blah. I don't think it's life that's precious, I think it's the quality of life. I think it's being healthy and being able to live the life that you want. And I think that we all really owe it to ourselves to live the best lives that we can. Whatever that means for us, it might mean working as little as possible and spending all day at home with your partner and your dog and going for walks and occasionally going on holiday. It might mean opening multiple businesses and working all the time and going to the gym at 5 a.m. every day. Whatever it is that you want to do with your life, you really owe it to yourself while you're physically able to go and do it. Yeah. And don't care, like, who cares if you have a wrinkle? It's not that deep. I saw someone post on Instagram and TikTok the other day, people don't look like their grandmas anymore, and I think that's really sad. And I think it is really sad because I find genetics so interesting when I see I don't have siblings, and I've got a really small family, so I there's no one that I'm blood related to that I look like. So when I see siblings post pictures, or people post pictures of their nieces or nephews, I'm like, this is so crazy that you guys look so alike, and it's not your child that you've birthed. And I think it's sad to want to erase that. Yeah, you're here once, life is short, you might be brain dead next week. Like anything could happen, you could have a heart attack. How sad would it be to die with a face that isn't yours? Yeah, and always maybe trying to be someone you're not, really. And to want to erase signs of living by eradicating every wrinkle you have. I think wrinkles personally, I'd rather have healthy, happy, glowing skin than a frozen face. I don't think wrinkles make you look bad or old.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:24

No, but it's just been the stigma that's everywhere, isn't it? Of oh, it's anti-wrinkle, it's this, it's that, it's gonna get rid of wrinkles. Do you know who I love?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:30

Amelia Clark. Have you seen recent interviews that she's done? Have you watched Game War's Warriors? You know she's got really animated eyebrows. So Amelia Clark is what I thought it was, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's got really animated eyebrows, and she did an interview once saying, No, I'd never get like Botox for fill out my eyebrows on my work. Um, I think she's like in her mid, mid-30s now. She's got a few lines. When she talks, she's so animated. She is. She is and it's so endearing. And I feel like if she didn't have that, she wouldn't be Amelia Clark. Fun fact, Amelia Clark had an aneurysm, did she? She's had two brain surgeries at the National Hospital, same surgery as me, during Game of Thrones filming. Oh, look at her. After season one, she had her first aneurysm, recovered in between, went back to season two, no one knew.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:20

Do you know what though, just like you said earlier, is when it's a brain injury, it's funny because it is inside. It's not that you've broken your arm or you've got a bandage on, or because I felt like because I we were talking before, like, because my mum had a stroke, didn't she? And you I always say when I'm talking to someone, they go, Oh my god, and I'm like, She's fine. If you saw her, you wouldn't think she's had one because she's recovered, but she's still with the exhaustion, the napping, you know, like sometimes she still is doing that. She might, it depends what she's done. So when you're concerned about the exhaustion of like even doing a simple task, at the very beginning, you as I'm one of four sip, some got four. Oh, I didn't know that. And so baby, yeah, I thought so. And um, it was when she started to like recover, we could not that we forgot, but my mum's so good at cracking on. Do you know what I mean? Getting used, I mean she couldn't go back to work in the end because it was that whole side had died, and it was just you couldn't, she couldn't even be in the workplace anymore. But it's funny because like you said, you you almost sit there and you can't see it, so you you you don't forget, but you get a bit complacent of the fact that you've actually had a brain injury. It's a major thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:34

It's a major thing. So, what did your mum do if she wasn't able to go back to work? How did that impact?

SPEAKER_02 1:13:38

My mum my mum retired in the yeah. Luckily, mum, I mean my mum had a what she was 50 maybe like 55, 56 when she had the stroke. Um, so and she's my stepdad, they're very together, and he just said, like, you you don't know, she'd been working she when we were growing up, she worked like three or four jobs to for all last kids. Do you know what I mean? She deserved it. It was the most weirdest you know when you see I said to her once, I know the stroke is the worst thing that's probably ever happened to you, obviously, but it's actually been the also the best because it's made you look at life so differently.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:15

There's a really interesting book called My Stroke of Insight. I don't know if you've ever read it. It's basically a neuroscientist that had a stroke, and she's written this whole book documenting her experience, and she explains the actual stroke as it's happening is feeling weirdly euphoric, and she felt very light and free. And recovery was very interesting for her because that kind of like rational side of her brain had died, and so all that was left was like the free thinking creative side, and so she wasn't stressing over the small things and thinking logically anymore, she was just feeling and living how she wanted to, and that's exactly how my mummy said actually how what you've just said as well when you say about small things, kind of how you are now.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:02

You kind of it doesn't matter, life can be taken from you really quick. Like my mum actually had it hers in her sleep, so she was asleep and she woke up and just had the symptoms of like her hand was weird, and like you know, like that can in you don't she just went to bed that night fine, you know. And I think it just makes life in a different perspective, but it's just crazy. I mean, do you feel like your life now, your perspective of life has changed? Do you kind of see things differently?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:35

Yeah, I think first of all, I've learned to be a lot gentler and kinder to myself, and I'm I'm trying. I mean, it's still very early days. I think it's only been 12 weeks since this all happened, but I'm trying to get to my get to a point where my mindset is my body is doing the best it can. You look incredible, brother. Thank you, and and I shouldn't be annoyed that like my brain is faulty. Like everything our body does is because it's trying to protect us, even the bad stuff. Like, if you're bloated, you've got a headache, you've got an upset stomach, you've had a reaction to something, it's because your body's trying to protect you. And it's telling you something's like, it's telling you, and it's it's doing its best. So be gentle, be kind, don't cut it open getting surgery if you're fit and healthy and you don't need to. And then in terms of just the way I live my life, I think the biggest thing I've taken from it is that you don't have time to do things later. That's not guaranteed. If if my dream is to get into TV and film lashing, I should be proactive about doing it now. I think what I had lost over the years is a lot of the ambition I had when I was younger. I think when I was doing music and stuff like that, some of the stuff I did was crazy. I had so much. I remember I had sent my demo to a record company, it was a small record label in London. They hadn't, they'd only signed two artists at the time. I was like, You've got room for me, you've got room for me. Um they were like, Yeah, send us your demo. I sent it to them. It'd been a week, two weeks. I hadn't heard anything, and they were ignoring me. They obviously weren't interested. Um, but 15, 16-year-old me was like, no, we're gonna make this. I went with my friend, I literally had hundreds of posts. This is crazy and probably vandalism. I stuck posters on my face all over their building. That's insane. It's not normal. It was mentally not well, but I would do stuff like that. And I remember getting on a train, and I I live in North London and like going to Gatwick to meet producers and have meetings, and I was dragging my mum to places. I um contacted BBC Asian Network, they played my song and interviewed me, and I was 18 years old. I remember I would film. I was doing all this stuff because in my head I was like, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna make it.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:57

So, do you think, since everything you've had with your surgery, do you feel like you've had this little fire re relight inside? Yeah, you want to go.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:05

Because I'm like, I'm hungry, I'm gonna go get it. Yes, I'm like, what's the worst? I I always had like a what's the worst can happen mindset. You've got to reach out to people. The worst they can say is no. I have so many friends and clients that are well connected in the entertainment industry, and I sometimes it is just oh, can you let so and so know that I do lashes, and if they want to set up lashes, like I'm here. I had got to a point where I was like, Oh, I'm not doing that. You know how I said earlier to have a business, you've gotta lose your ego, you can't have an ego. I think I need I I've got to that point where I'm like, it's I had gotten a bit prideful, and I was like, like my hairdresser, he does uh a lot of hair for the House of the Dragon car.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:51

Because isn't he gone to like LA?

SPEAKER_01 1:18:53

Yeah, so he's like in LA a lot, and he does um Olivia Cook who plays. Do you watch House of the Dragon?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:59

I haven't watched House of the Dragon. Oh my god, why not?

SPEAKER_01 1:19:02

Because it got the first few episodes were really violent and it stressed me out. Do you know what you should watch? Um, A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms. Oh, it looked like a spoof. Okay, it's really silly, it's really short, it's six episodes, and I saw it. No, no, no, no, I saw it, and I've put it off ages because I was like, I don't understand what this is. I've read all the books in the series apart from this one, so I was like, I don't get it. Yeah. It's really sweet, it's a really just cute, wholesome story. There's a twist in it, you find out one of the characters isn't who you think he is, but it's very wholesome. Okay, I'll I'll I loved it. I can't stop thinking about it since I watched it. Like, I'm it's way better than House of the Dragon. But um, yeah, like my hair just he does so many celebs, and it for him, it was just I think he had one or two celeb clients, and then it kind of took off by recommendation. There are a lot of lash artists I follow that have done TV and film stuff. Again, they just happen to be friends with the head makeup artists. Sometimes who you know, isn't it? And I know so many because I've still got friends that act and do music, and have you messaged them? I'm going to today. I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna just you need to really beg borrow still.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:18

Like gonna have to message them today. You've said it now.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:21

I will, I will. I'm manifesting it that I want to do by the end of this year, red carpet lashes for someone.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:29

Because I remember you saying that you'd always wanted to do TV and film lashes. I can see you doing that, but I think you just need to be that person who's I mean, you back yourself still, just back yourself even more and put yourself out there.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:43

I think I need to just let people know, like, hey, I missed it. This is what I do, this is my portfolio. I literally live next to El Street's studio. I literally was just thinking that as well. I was like, you literally live opposite the studio. I get messages through my alert box every day, like we're doing night filming, like excuse the loud explosions, and I'm like, I'm there, hire me. I live right by where they film me standards. Have you walked over there? No, I'm gonna add it to my ever-growing to-do list. You need to do I could picture it. I would love to, I would love, I would still love to do clients, and I don't ever want to completely stop. But I would love to just do something a little bit more creative. Do you know what I'm really inspired to do? There's um, do you know who Nina Parker is? No, do you know what? I never know the actors' video. She's a makeup artist. Oh, okay. She's like a celeb makeup artist, she's been trending, she's been doing everyone's makeup recently. It's very kind of like Renaissance, glowy cheeks, but like beautiful. Um, she has a little journal where she prints out polar words of all the makeup she's done on people and then writes little notes about what she used. I was like, I want to do that for lashing. Do it. I want to have a little like lash journal. And so I remember because I do so many stunning sets, and then I never see that kind again because they've come in for their wedding or it's like a one-off, and then I have like no record or recollection of what I've done on them, apart from like I did this one really gorgeous redhead girl, and I did like it was like red lashes, and so gorgeous. I can't remember the styling I did on my hand. And I look at it and I'm like, yeah, I think it was like 10. Oh, so you can have it all done so you actually remember everything. Yeah, and remember what it did. So if I ever want to recreate it, I can. I mean, I do that on client records, but it's I'm I'm old school. I'm that weirdo. I like to physically have everything of it.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:28

Do you I don't know, I don't write down nothing. I'm actually a freak. Like someone goes to me, like, how do you know what I've had I I know I know the lengths, I know the styling, even if I've done bespoke styling, I know exactly where I've put it on. I remember if it's someone I've done a couple of times, but I can't if it's like a one-off. Like people go to me, I don't know how you do that. And I'm just like, I just have that, I just have a weird memory. Like Jack says to me.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:50

I have a really bad memory, but I'm brain damaged. I'm allowed. The other day a client was like, How long do we, how long is this appointment gonna take? Um, and it was at a set of extensions. I was gonna say two hours. The appointment was finishing at 12, and I was like, 12 hours. She's like, What? I was like, Yeah, 12 hours. And she's like, 12 hours. I was like, yeah, 12. She's like, oh, and I was like, oh no, no, no, we're gonna finish at 12. And it took me ages to realise that's not what I meant. She was like, no, no, it's fine, we can settle in, like, we'll bring a drink, we can listen, okay, strap in, you're in for a long time.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:26

So did you feel like there was any pressure to be back at work? Because I know you've gone back a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:32

I wish I didn't have to go back so soon. Um, I think I took off five weeks initially, and then I I went back doing one or two clients a day, and then I had a relapse and had to take another week and a half off, and now I'm back to doing one or two clients a day. I think now I'm at the stage where I can do one or two clients a day, and I'm physically well and able to. Um, everyone was saying to me, you know, take your time, there's no rush to get back to work, and I was like, No, but that is. Who's gonna pay my bills? Again, when you work for yourself, you don't have the luxury of of being able to get sick pay and have the time off, and then they'll be like, We'll cover you for X, Y, Z amount of time.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:23

But yes, you have freedom, but freedom also means you're alone, you're on your own, you're the only person who can do it, and the only person who can back yourself as well.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:31

Yeah, it's hard. But then equally, I think with a nine to five, yes, you can get a sick note from your GP, but then you have the pressure from work, like when are you coming back? You've got to keep renewing your sick note, so there is still pressure. I think it's hard for anyone recovering from something, but I definitely wouldn't have gone back to work so soon if I had the choice not to.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:55

Yeah. I mean, did you find though, because I actually um because the things you say because I can relate because obviously I've seen my mum go through it, but sometimes you have to put yourself after having a brain injury in them search in them situations so your brain can kind of get used to it again. Go back to normal. That my mum can't really be, she's better now, but public spaces going to the supermarket. What is it about the people, the lights, the noises, yeah, just too much.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:27

I was like that initially. I remember the first few weeks, and my mum was like, You need to get out of the house, like just come do a food shop. And I felt like I was underwater. It's the only way I can explain it. Like, I was I was there, I was physically well and walking around. Everything just felt so muted and like dulled down. She felt like her brain was going. It felt really weird. Like, I just felt like not like a buzzing, but like I felt like I was underwater, and just everything was really heavy and muted. Yeah, yeah. And there have been times, like even now, like I'm back at a pole a couple of times a week. Sometimes I'm there and it's quite a big space now, and sometimes there'll be like 10 people in a class, and I feel like I'm there, but I'm not quite there.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:08

Like it's a dream, like you're like an outside, like out of your body experience, kind of.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:12

Yeah, like everything's just it's it's weird, it's a weird feeling. Like, I don't feel like I'm quite in myself. Yeah, like people will be talking, and sometimes I feel like I'm having to think about my reaction and tell my face, oh like smile, like say this, like respond normally. Yeah, or like even sometimes when I answer the door to clients, I'm like having to remind myself to be normal. I think at the moment, a lot of the times I am still very much quite spaced out.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:44

But do you feel like though, because you're putting yourself back in those situations, your brain is almost being like worked in a sense of that you're getting used to it because you said like one or two clients now, you're actually a bit like okay, I think I can do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:58

I think the brain is amazing in terms of how it can compensate for brain tissue. Fascinating. It makes you can literally have half of your brain dead, and you can't do it. It makes new neurological pathways in your brain. I um I'm really into Scrabble. I saw it. Me and my mum play a game of Scrabble almost every day. Like whenever I'm there, we play Scrabble. I always win. She's really bad. Um, I have gotten into doing puzzles, I've gotten into painting, basically anything that kind of makes my brain think. Um I've been trying to, I'm a big reader, I always read books, but I've been trying to read stuff that I typically wouldn't, again, to just make my brain work a little bit harder. Um, I've also been trying to write. So I have a newsletter I send out to clients. Yeah. Usually it's just life updates and like I have this offer coming up. They love it, don't they? Now I've been writing like little like Substack style articles about like things I really feel passionately about and I love it. Again, I think we don't. People don't really write anymore because you get AI. I scroll through Instagram and 90% of the captions I see are so obviously chat GPT. And so I think it's really nice to read something that actually feels like it's in that person's tonal voice. It's more connection to them, isn't it? It doesn't need to be perfect. Your grammar doesn't need to be good. It doesn't need to sound clever. It just needs to sound like you.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:22

I feel like I've got really. I think I went through a phase of not like I was using AI a lot. I was using it just to like using AI to help speed things up a little bit. And maybe I got a little bit more like, oh I quickly do that, got it. And you kind of because it was new, and you thought, oh, everyone's doing it. But I've actually found now that actually the human, the person you are, is what is having that connection. Like I had someone message me and I thought it was them, and then I replied, and then they replied to me, and then it felt really AIE, like it was like like I was talking to a robot, but I think they even got like my name wrong, but then they like I had replied, but they just kind of like miss they basically what I replied, they didn't reply to my message. Why would you use AI to draft it's just the most strangest things, and I just I just thought to myself, I'm not gonna reply because you've lost me.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:18

My connection's gone. I've got a chat GPT horror story. So when I was applying to go back to my old job, um there was a little bit of back and forth about the rotor and just things that we had discussed weren't weren't what it was actually gonna be. And so I was it just really pissed off, and I was like, Chat GPT, like please say this, but make it sound friendly because like I don't want to sound like I'm ungrateful for the job. And I wrote all the stuff. Chat GPT gave me a response, and he's he was like, I say chat GPT is he. He was like, he uh sent me a response that was like, This sounds firm and is setting your boundaries, but still makes it sound like you're um appreciative of the job offer, blah blah blah. I copied and pasted it straight into the email and I sent the whole thing. I forgot to edit out the chat GPT notes. That said it makes it sound like you're still appreciative. And then I and then I didn't realise until I think some there was another email sitting in my outbox, and I was like, I wonder if that email sent. So I went into my scent and I was like just clicking on it. Sometimes I like to go back and reread emails just to be like, oh, I wonder how that sounds. And I was like, what have I done?

SPEAKER_00 1:30:31

Oh my god, I feel hot.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:32

I was, I was I was I was literally internally screaming. I think I'd want to. I'm getting hot thinking about it now. I remember I messaged my friend and she was like, me and Ricky, her partner, she was like, We're screaming, I can't believe you've done that. Ah, let me know what happens. And I was so anxious. Did they reply? Yeah. No, so I sent another email after that, and I was like, do you know what? I have to just own it. I have to just own it. And I was like, oops, I'm so sorry. Please ignore that. And I tried to just like laugh it off. I would have just blocked the email. I don't even want to see you reply. The worst part is though, like everyone there knows me as well. I don't know this guy because he was new, but I was like, what if he tells everyone I've done this? Yeah, so I I've been I've always been slightly anti-AI, but ever since then I'm like, no. No.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:25

I think it has its place. I think it's it's helpful if you have it where I think if you give it all your say I sometimes use it where I write everything I want to say and you get it to just because I'm honest. As an Essex girl, I do go on tangents. I sometimes don't even finish a sentence and I've gone on to something else. So I sometimes need it to sometimes I write everything I want to say, I write the whole thing out, and I go, can you just make it flow? Like maybe just I don't know, put a comma somewhere. Sometimes I still do that. You know, that's what I would do. But like keep the tone of voice the same. I am me, and I feel like I've now gone to the other side where I'm like, I don't want to feel like a robot, I want people to be hearing me. Like even like last night I did that um voice nut voice over on that video. I did that my one time. Usually I would have to restart it and do it again, but I had it in my head and I thought you don't want it to be like too rehearsed, are you? Actually, why don't we just be unapologetically ourselves and just if we get it wrong or we say something that maybe doesn't make sense a little bit, why does it matter?

SPEAKER_01 1:32:30

I don't want to diverse, but there's a really interesting podcast called The Last Invention, which is all about how AI first started and where it's headed, and a lot of it focuses on the original creators of different AI platforms. It's really scary. Oh. It's really scary, and it will put you off using AI. What's it called? The last invention. Oh, I might have to have a look. It's basically how AI, if it progresses the way certain companies want it to progress, it will be the end of humanity. And I know that sounds really dramatic, but essentially it will get to the point where AI is training other AI, they then will be able to kind of like override human commands. I don't know if command is the right word, um, and it will just be more intelligent than us, and well, they're all maybe make making little robots that drive around, didn't they? It will just get to a point where humans are kind of there's there's no no point. But also it talks a lot about like the data factories, like the data farms that these AI companies use, and how certain people want the government to go in and like blow these buildings up because of the data that they're using and the way that they're training AI is really scary as well. Because it is basically everything you feed into AI is training it, so every picture you upload, everything you say to it is helping AI to evolve. And it's learning from a natural human, it's learning from humans, yeah. I it is it's yeah, and I also think there will be in a couple of years, I was gonna say five, ten years, I don't even think it will take that long. I think in a in a few years, there will be a huge intelligence divide between kids that were allowed to use AI for schoolwork versus kids that were prevented from solely using it. Parents don't even read to their children anymore. Like kids are going into reception, like not knowing how to flick a page over.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:50

It's so digital.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:50

So yeah, social media, digital AI looking at videos on iPads, but like short form content, so kids have low concentration spans. Um, I really think there's gonna be a huge divide between people that have also there's been studies that show using AI um increases your chance of having like Alzheimer's and dementia. It's crazy. Because you're you're not using your brain, and yeah, there's certain ways you can use and interact with AI to ensure that you're still utilising your brain, yeah, but you have to be very careful to ensure you're not just being like, do this for me, do that for me.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:30

We may not realise that we're actually making our brains less intelligent because we are getting something else to do it. We don't even know we're doing it, we're just thinking it's great.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:39

I realized when I was getting ChatGPC to write captions for me when I stopped, I was like, Why we're sending it in an email? Yeah, I think that's the worst thing I've ever done. It's like a worse thing. It's hilarious. I am I was just like, why am I struggling to write caption? It's literally just an Instagram caption. Why am I needing to use AI for this? Or when I was like using AI for stuff that I could Google and it would take me one second, it's very easy to become reliant on it. Creativity is the most important thing humans have. Why are we spoiling it and getting rid of AI can't be create, like, yeah, it can be creative to an extent, but it's learned from us. But like original thought comes from humans. Yeah, and we should cherish that really more than I think. Especially lash artistry is an art, it's a creative work. You can't, it's not just a skill set. Yes, you might be able to just apply the lashes and they last, but you also want them to look beautiful and suit the person's eye shape and all these other things, especially if you're doing creative work and colour matching. It is an art, it's creative. You shouldn't lose that aspect of your business. No, I completely agree. So I'm I'm trying my best to um not use it. I've deleted the app off my phone, so now if I want to use it, I have to like actually go on to it, go on the website. I'm down to maybe using it once a day, which I feel like is better.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:05

I think it's just getting better. I think if you've acknowledged it, then you're just gonna make better decisions without having to use it, aren't you? And I'll always try and do the information myself first, just like you. I'll write it out first, and then you're not it's not solely doing all the thinking. I think there's I think there's ways you can use it better. But I know we have digressed onto AI, but we are coming towards the end. But there's one thing I actually wanted to ask you if we just go back a little bit from your surgery. If someone is going through something similar while trying to run a business, what advice would you give them? Because I know you mentioned about the putting things in place, what would advise?

SPEAKER_01 1:37:49

So if you've not done that and you're you're going through it like I was, I think ask for help even when you need it. I think people, like I said, are often quick to say, I'm here for you if you need anything, but then don't follow up on it. And I've had that where people are like, Oh, let me know if you want to go for a walk and I'll keep you company, and I've been like, Yeah, that's been great, and then they've not replied. If you need something, ask, like, don't feel bad. Yeah, if you need to borrow money from your parents, ask them, don't go into it.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:26

Yeah, they're there to help you.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:27

If you are struggling to get to the shop to do a food shop, and a friend is nearby, ask them to grab you something or bring you some food over. I feel like there is not much community in our generation. Whereas, like you were talking about earlier being scared to knock on your neighbour's door. Whereas before back in the day, like that wouldn't have been a big deal. Everyone's knocking on everyone's door, boring milk and sugar and two bags. Yeah. Whereas people now don't interact with each other, and even like little things like getting picked up from the airport, people just pay an Uber or get a taxi because you don't want to inconvenience someone by making them come and get you at 3 a.m. But I think that is the cost of community. I think community is so important, and if you have people around you, use them. Yeah, I love that, and let them use you. And I think it's all really made me realise as well if someone else was going through something, not even something similar, just something if someone's had a baby, like go and bring them some food. Like, don't wait for them to ask you. But likewise, if you're in that position and no one's been like, Can I help? Ask for help. Yeah, the worst they'll do is leave you on read.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:46

But most of the time, people are very willing. And people sometimes just get so busy that then they just if you ask, they'll probably be like, Oh my god, of course. Like they just don't have sometimes people just not.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:57

Because often the help you need is not actually anything major, it's like little things that you're struggling to do yourself, but it's not a big deal for for them. Yeah, yeah. I think that would be my biggest advice is if you have people around you, utilise them and try and build community. I think that's something we all should do.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:17

More of if you if you can help people, like rather than just relying on convenience.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:25

I completely agree.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:26

So rather than you know, if you're too sick to cook, don't uber food. Like ask if someone can drop you off someone or go to a friend's house for dinner, or yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:36

Just maybe let go of what you say, pride and just be like, I need the help, and someone just Yeah, and you'll feel so good for it.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:45

I remember I was in hospital, and um at this point I'd been by myself for like a day and a half or two days or something. Um, my mum doesn't drive, also, it was central London, really hard to get to know parking. And one of my friends he had a meeting in London nearby, and I was like, Oh, can you come and see me afterwards? And he came and chilled with me for a bit. It was after visiting times, and um it just made me feel so much better.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:15

And it was literally just having company, yeah, just someone there. Yeah, even not in B San a lot of it, it's just having the person in the room, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 1:41:23

And even like when I started, I couldn't do poll again, so I was doing stretch classes. One of my friends um slash clients doesn't live anywhere near me, but she bless her was like booking on to these stretch classes that it's like 45 minutes away from her. We're not talking because it's a stretch class, um, but it was just nice to have someone to do that with, and also just to like move my body in a gentle way.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:47

People are kind, aren't they? They I think sometimes we feel like we figure, yeah, and we feel like we're putting them out, but actually, people are a lot of people will help.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:56

I think we have become a really disgusting generation where we think everyone is bad and selfish, and people are gonna steal things from you and use you where they can.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:09

Most people are good. There is a lot more good than there is bad in the world, but I think in the world we live in, people only share the bad. Yeah, and everyone's no one's not quick to say what something someone nice, someone, what someone did nicely for you, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:23

And I think in cases where people are bad or like not nice, it's usually because that's the assumption that's already been made of them, and they've not been given the opportunity to be a sweet person. That's true. So I think give people grace and have trust that there is good in the world, and just because bad stuff has happened to you doesn't mean it's always gonna be like that. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:48

Yeah, so we are coming towards the end, and we've got a beyond five round. Okay, so beyond five is like a quick fire round. Sometimes they're quick, sometimes they're not. So, what's your go-to comfort food after a long day of clients and work?

SPEAKER_01 1:43:02

Okay, this is really niche. Um, Tesco meal deal. The way, specifically the tomato and cheese pasta pasta pots, really disgusting. Everyone else hates it. Have you seen it? Yeah, it tastes a bit like for me, it tastes a bit metal. Yeah, but that's what I like about it. Specifically with a Diet Coke, the two have to go together. Or you won't be buying a meal deal. It has to be that. There have been times where I've gone to Tesco when I finished work, or I've been really tired and it's sold out. So other people are obviously liking this as well. I'm so upset, but yeah, that's the only thing I ever get from a Tesco meal deal. No, right. And I kind of like the acidic metal taste. Do you? It's because the tomatoes are not ripe, it's not a good thing. Is that what it is? I used to think about it. Yeah, I really love it. That's that's my comfort food.

unknown 1:43:48

I love it.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:48

One word your friends would use to describe you.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:53

I think confident. It's a good one. Confident. I will always say how it is. Confident in both good and bad ways.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:01

Yeah, but that's the best bit about you. What lash tool or product could you never live without? So it doesn't have to be lashes, it could be it could be anything actually.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:09

Titanium lash tweezers. Ooh. Game changer changed my life. I first got a pair when I did my Japanese feathering course. Have you ever used titanium tweezers?

SPEAKER_02 1:44:21

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:21

They are amazing, they're so light, basically weightless, they don't ever rust. Um, blanco lash. Yeah, yeah. They sell they sell them. They are expensive, but they're so worth it. It's all I'll ever buy. To the point where I've had students come in for training, and obviously they they're not used to handling tweezers, but they can immediately feel the difference in weight between a normal stainless steel tweezer. It's really light.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:49

Oh, I love it. Yeah. What's the biggest lesson that you've learned so far in life?

SPEAKER_01 1:44:56

To live your life, not wait for the timing to be better, not wait until you're feeling better, don't wait to leave a bad relationship, don't wait to date, don't wait to start the business, just live it. Live in the present and do it. Just do it, yeah. Do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:17

If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self, what would that be?

SPEAKER_01 1:45:22

Don't forget who you are. I think it's really easy with life. Life can beat you down. Things happen, you get stressed, you get into bad relationships, you have kids, things change you. I think it's really easy to forget who you are at your core and your interests and what you actually want. And I think that's been the one nice thing about recovery in the time I've had of is getting to do all the nerdy stuff I loved doing as a child and re-watching Game of Thrones and just doing nerdy things. Like I was having the time of life doing this puzzle, my mum was hating it. It was a thousand-piece puzzle, it was like a cottage, loads of flowers. They my parents are struggling, and I was like, Oh my god, this is so fun! I'm so locked in. I was up until like 2 a.m. sometimes getting this puzzle done. Um, but just the things you want again, it's really easy to settle and like forget that actually I wanted to travel the world and I want to own my own business and I want to do this and do that, and then you don't get it, and so something else comes along that's kind of good, but not quite what you wanted, and then you settle. So just don't forget what you who you are at your core.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:34

Yeah, I love that one. Yeah, I feel like a lot of people would relate to that one actually.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:37

I think just honouring your inner child. I know a lot of people talk about like healing your inner child, and I think yeah, it's just important to remember that is who you are at your core. Remember your remember you do have a voice.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:51

Yeah, yeah, no, I completely agree. So there's a wild card question. Okay. One to 30. Pick a number. Uh what's today's date? 14. Mm-hmm. Okay, we'll do 14. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

SPEAKER_01 1:47:06

Okay, I've thought about this a lot, actually, because I'm so ready to run away from life. Um, I would love to live on a little. Do you know what? I'm gonna say Europe, the Balkans, somewhere, Greece, Macedonia, my dogs from Macedonia, just somewhere, somewhere warm, but not overly touristy. I want a really simple life. Give me a little cottage or a farmhouse. I'd love that smallery. I'm gonna make like artisanal jam, salad, soaps. I'm gonna be living my best cottage cool, witchy fairy life. Just I can imagine you. I would love that.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:45

Bouncing around in a cottage with like dungaree vibe and I just want to be planting.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:51

Planting, yeah. I could say that. Yeah, that's my dream. I would love that when I have kids or when I'm retired, take me to the middle of nowhere. Um, do you watch race around race around the world? Yeah, I've seen bits of it. I when they're in these remote places in the middle of nowhere, I'm like, take me there. Drop me off. Well, you've come here and you're like, oh my god, love it. You live in the middle of nowhere, but I love it. Is it the sea or a river? What is it? It's so nice. It's really lovely. And all the houses are really cute. I love that there's nothing here. I was driving and there was nothing until I literally got to your road. And I was like, I want to be here. You need to come down for like a I will come and probably like spend an afternoon.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:31

Definitely, we can go and do some something fun. I mean, there's not a lot of here, but we're gonna take you out for food.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:36

Okay, sounds good.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:38

I just wanted to say thank you so much for taking the time to come here today and be on the podcast, and also to kind of just be so open about everything that's gone on because it's like it must have been well, we know it's been really hard for you, but it's a lot to travel here, a lot to talk about. I mean, we've been talking for a couple of hours now, and I just yeah, I just really appreciate you coming here.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:59

Thank you for letting me waffle. I it's been very therapeutic and I think, yeah, I think also everyone should be really open about everything in life because keeping things bottled up and acting like you're okay if you're not trying to hide things and act strong is not gonna benefit you at all.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:16

Probably not. If anyone wants to connect with you, could you just share your Instagram handle or where is best to contact you if they want to get in touch? Sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:25

I am most active on Instagram and it's slash girl.london, trying to get rid of the dot, but someone has slash girl London and I've trademarked it and I can't get them to give me the username. But yeah, for now it's slash girl.london. Thank you so much for coming on. I loved it.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:42

I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you.