Why I feel so lonely

In this raw and honest episode, I open up about the deep loneliness I feel despite being someone who gives unconditional love to everyone around me.

I share what it’s really like being a spiritual empath and Alchemizing Generator — how I naturally raise people’s vibrations, why I trigger others without trying, and why so many people end up pushing me away.

I also talk about the struggle of outgrowing old friends, feeling used, and being stuck between my current 3D job and the billion-dollar purpose I know I’m meant for.

If you’ve ever felt lonely on your spiritual path or misunderstood by the people around you, this episode is for you.

 “Snap your chains, drink your truth. The Joe Budden Experience—is breaking rules every week. New Episode every Tuesday! 

With Love and Light.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hello everyone. I'm back again and welcome back to the Joe Button experience where we break chains of trauma, navigate through life, and explore everything. I'm Joe, the Wayfarer, Dreamer, Life Changer, and Ultimate Chainbreaker. Real talk today, okay? I actually want to go a little deeper with you guys. I l a lot of people see the surface of me, the positive energy, the love, the constant support, but they don't see the pain, the suffering, and the loneliness I feel every single day. I feel alone and lonely, not because I don't love myself unconditionally, because I do. I give myself the love I give others, but I still feel this way because I truly crave real, long-lasting, and meaningful connections with people. And on top of that, being a deep spiritual empath who is also an alchemizing generator is just a natural part of who I am. It's literally why I was born. And what that means is I naturally alchemize negative energy around me in to calm, peace, and love. And I generate love frequency and I push it out without even trying. I raise people's vibrations naturally and I activate soul awakenings within people just by being around them. It happens automatically. This is a part of my human design. Um, so also if you want to figure out what your human design is, um, you can go to freehumandesign chart.com and put in all of your birth information and it'll give you a full breakdown of your type and what that means for you. Um, and if you listen to my last episode, we talked about chakra personalities. So when you combine your human design chart with your chakra personality type, it's actually really powerful. It helps you understand not only what you should be focusing on, but who you truly are and how to move in the right direction and heighten your spiritual gifts and intuition so that you can move in the correct directions and step and steps to live your the full purpose of your life and be truly happy. Um and anyway, because of all of this, I also act as an energetic mirror and I automatically reflect back to people what they need to heal or look at within themselves, the things that they've been repressing or hiding from themselves or others. And when someone isn't ready to face those parts of themselves, they get triggered by me. Their soul and mind freak out, and they suddenly become angry or cold towards me for no reason. They end up pushing themselves away, even though I didn't even do anything to them. Um, it's also like really difficult because a lot of people that I grew up with only remember who I used to be. The version of me that was deep in trauma, numbing myself with drugs and alcohol. And that version of me made bad decisions sometimes and hurt people without even trying. Um that I've changed and healed though, like many of them like don't even want me in their lives still, they don't even want to see me in the new light that I'm in because it hurts their narrative, it hurts their ego, and so many people are still living through their ego because they haven't learned to let it go. So even when I try to reconnect, they can't even see the real me, the version of me that lives authentically through love and light. And this makes it really having like real relationships and friendships like extremely difficult. I love people unconditionally, good or bad. I help people, I show up for them from the kindness of my heart with zero expectations. All I'm looking for in return is honesty, truth, and for someone to actually reciprocate that love and care back to me. But a lot of times I feel used, especially with some of the old friends I grew up with that are still in contact with me. Like it feels like they only reach out when they need something, whether it's emotional support because they're going through trauma or drama, or when they need help with the physical stuff, like chores or a task that nobody else wants to help them with or that they don't want to do alone. It's rarely just to check in with me or spend real time together. When I see my and so when I see like my high school friends that are still hanging out together, still close, still doing life together, it's really hurtful somewhat to my heart, but I do understand why I can't connect with them the same way anymore. They bond through trauma, addictions, bad habits, and through all of the social constructs and norms that they think they're supposed to live by. And I've outgrown all of that. I'm no longer living in the 3D matrix lifestyle. I'm ready for my soul people though. I truly am looking for the ones who are spiritual, like open-minded, awake to the truth, and actively moving from 3D to 5D like I am. I truly am looking for the people who honestly care about me as a being, not just what I can do for them. I want long-term friendships and relationships that feel deep and real. I'm also really excited though, because even though I'm in limbo right now and I feel kind of out of sorts when it comes to my career and my purpose, I truly feel that I'm meant to be a multi-billionaire and not just have money for myself, but so I can funnel it out into the world and help others grow and follow their passions and become their highest selves. Right now I'm working as a server at Olive Garden and I know it's only temporary, but I don't like working 3D jobs because it just doesn't feel right with my soul anymore. I don't know where to start though when it comes to finding a career or passion that makes the amount of energy money that reciprocates the energy that I'm giving out. I know what businesses I want to start, but I don't know how to get them going or create the money flow to get them up and running so I can help people around the world in a way that aligns with my soul's purpose. Some really good tools though that have helped me stay aligned and move in a better direction are Reiki and muscle testing. So if you don't know what those are, I'm gonna give you a little synopsis, okay? So Reiki is a Japanese energy healing technique. It's all about channeling universal life force energy through your hands to help balance and heal the body. It promotes deep relaxation, reduce your stress and anxiety, and it helps with pain, improving sleep, and basically allows your body to heal itself on a deeper level. Um, and so with the muscle testing, um, that is really cool too. It is a form of applied kinesiology, it's a way to communicate directly with your body. So you test the strength of the muscle while asking yes or no questions or testing different supplements or foods with your body, and then your body will either stay strong or go weak, telling you exactly what it needs or what's throwing it off. It's helped me figure out what's been missing in my body so I can stay aligned and keep moving forward, which is awesome. I know this journey can truly feel really heavy sometimes. The loneliness, the misunderstanding, the constant feeling that you're different, it's not easy. But I've come to realize that all of this is just a part of the process. Every time someone pulls away, every time I feel that loneliness come on, it's just the universe clearing space, making room for the right people, the right scenarios, my real soul family, my person, my true tribe. They're coming. I'm actually really excited now. I can feel a whole new timeline opening up for me. I'm stepping into a season of travel, new experiences, new opportunities, and most importantly, real deep soul-level connections. I'm ready to see the world. I'm ready to meet my people, I'm ready to live fully in my purpose and share the this love and light the way I was always meant to. So if you're listening to this and feel the same way, if you're if you've been feeling lonely on this path, just know that you're not crazy, you're not too much, and you're definitely not alone. Your people are coming too. Your timeline is shifting just like mine is. So keep doing the work, keep shining your light. The best is truly yet to come. I just want to say thank you for letting me be this open and real with you today. I appreciate you more than you know. I just felt like I needed to say this for myself, but maybe for others to hear this too, because you could be in the same boat as me. Um anyway, I love you so much. I am so grateful you're walking this path with me. I hope you have a beautiful day and an even better week. I will be back with you guys soon though. Namaste.