The Marriage Cord.

​Two people at the base, and Christ at the apex. How does a marriage withstand the pressures of everyday life?
​When a husband and wife make Christ the center of their relationship, they create an unbreakable bond—a true three-strand cord that cannot be easily broken.
​We continued last Sunday our series with a message titled "The Marriage Cord." 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:20

And howdy, welcome back to the Preacher Man Podcast Sermons and Lessons. Bland Crane here, the Preacher Man, once again on a Friday. Um recording this part of the podcast on Friday afternoon. We had our th second teachers appreciation uh feed. Uh went back, went over to Wortham ISD and fed some teachers some uh pulled pork, baked potatoes with all the fixins. Some very good um spiced cake. I know I would love to tell you what's in it, but it is just a phenomenal cake. And uh plenty of uh beverages to drink, sweet tea, really good sweet tea. So had to uh do those things first. Every every year around this time when school gets started, our church tries to show some love and s and support to uh our local teachers and staff and coaches and principals and all those things. Looking forward to uh having the next one here real soon. I believe we'll be going over to Mahaya ISD, and that's gonna be a two-day feed because of the number of teachers that they have to schedule that around. So you might be seeing this podcast coming up late on Friday afternoon again next week, just depending on the scheduling and everything. Wrapping up, really, I I don't want to say I'm wrapping up because I'm not sure if I want to um explore this section anymore. I may not need to, depending on how uh this coming Sunday's lesson is going, but we are we are getting toward the end of our quarter three strands uh mini-series in our year-long lessons of fixing twenty-six. The goal is for uh for um us as a congregation to uh acknowledge and see what areas in our church family could use a little a little more TLC, a little more elbow grease. Maybe maybe we have lacked something in the preventative maintenance category when it comes to well there are many, many things that churches do, of course many of you all know this, that that require group effort, require some work, require some teamwork, planning and organization. There are many things that we teach from the Bible and many things we try to practice in the Bible that I also believe could um afford some time to visit and see if maybe we need to, you know, tighten some things up here, work some things up there. It's the idea is is that sometimes when we are doing um activities or we're doing ministries up at the church, we can we can we can run them and and do them until we the wheels fall off. And if we don't stop, take a look and see, hey, where are we struggling here? Or is is this working? Is you know what can we do? Can we make it better? Do we need to just leave it alone? Um do we need to stop? I mean, that's a legitimate thing and when it comes to to maintenance. But the idea is to get every get the avenues of our of our church, our worship, our uh uh to to focus on and to streamline the idea of uh trying to glorify God in all that we say and do and believe, but also being good ambassadors and good messengers of uh the message of the word of God. And I would also say that we also need to be good stewards of the things that have come into our possession, and how we can be good stewards both physically and spiritually in the works of the church that we have deemed important and are, or the Bible has said, or God has instructed us to look at as important. So um that's the that's the big picture, and then and and so uh I chose to um spend some time um last couple of Sundays we've been going through uh different kinds of relationships that we're involved in in the church. And uh this one uh was a particularly um uh good discussion because uh we we our church has a wide variety of uh relationships. Um we have we have widows and widowers, we have uh people we have we have couples who have been married for uh 50, 45 plus years and down. We've have we have uh we have married and divorced and remarried, we've have we have singles, we have unmarried, we have uh we even have engaged couples that are planning to get married in the future. And so it's important for us to one acknowledge we there's not just one specific kind of relationship that we should look at as important and over the other, but it's also important to acknowledge that, hey, every relationship, though similar in how we should approach it with a idea of the court of three strands, you being one strand, Christ being another strand, and then the other person or the other group being the third strand, uh we we we we have to acknowledge these relationships and and and and highlight what they are, highlight what they should be, highlight what the what the motivation is behind these relationships, and then if when and this Sunday, and then if we need to do some repair, some fixing, some r uh preventative maintenance, then it we we know exactly what to apply and and and and hopefully also and very important what not to do when it comes to relationship repair or relationship rescue. So we focused uh last Sunday on the marriage cord. I am a very, very um strong believer in the philosophy of the marriage triangle. And we talk a little bit about that in the lesson. We I'm a I'm a I'm I'm also a big um I guess I could say I I I I have a a a deeper uh not a deeper, that sounds that sounds too snooty. I have a a an appreciation for the philosophy of the two becoming one and what that uh really means versus what society and many people today, especially even in people in who are uh of um who are God-fearing religious people, Christians, while they want to acknowledge and say, yes, the two are now one, they are a individual family unit, there is still this concept of a a basically an increase in a family and a in a in or a increase in a family compound because um we have um mistakenly maybe bought into the concept of you know you're joining, you're not just joining a a husband or a wife, yo, you're joining a family. And uh it can go even further than that with the idea of you know the wife leaves her family and joins the husband's family. I I I bel I I don't think that's what the Bible is describing when the Bible talks about well, first of all, man leaving his father and his mother and clinging to his wife and the two become one flesh. Um there's been a lot of talk recently in the in the theological uh world about how we have um while we understand the concept, we don't want to put it into practice because if we put this idea of two becoming one and this little family unit, this husband and this wife, this newlywed couple, becoming a new brand new individual family dynamic if they do that then other then b other family, bigger families lose that sense of lose a sense of power and control. And I hope when we when we get to the closing part, I can kind of tell you what one one of my church members uh said to me. One of my church members. One of the members who I worship with uh said to me about that after we got done with the lesson. It's it it it fucks it simplifies it so b so good. So let's go ahead and jump into it. This is the uh sermon that was preached last Sunday. Like I said, it's called the Marriage Chord. Uh the text that I used uh during this uh session, this lesson, excuse me, was uh Genesis 224, Ecclesiastes four twelve. And um I hope you enjoy it. And like always, afterwards we'll be back for some closing thoughts after this. Good to see you all here this morning, and we do do know we have some people who are um out, and uh it's for a really good cause. I'm excited to know. I was excited to learn that Dylan was gonna uh be baptized today, and so I'm really grateful for that, and I'm really excited to hear about the um the longevity of marriage. So, congratulations to uh Don and Dalou and Mike and Kathy. 50 years, 55 years. That's right, 55 years, you know, and um hearing about anniversaries like that, one it kind of it should issue, it should also, you know, make us try to strive for that same a similar challenge if we can if we can make it that far and make it that long. It reminds me of a story about uh an older couple who were sitting together watching TV after supper. And uh, of course, the the husband was in a recliner, and the wife was sitting on the on the on the couch, and they were watching that TV, and and finally the the wife looked over to her husband and says, uh honey, do you don't you do you remember when we were younger and used to you used to sit real close to me? And so the husband, you know, he'd been married for a while, and he knew what she was trying to, what she was wanting, so he got up and plopped down on the couch right beside her. And then she said, Honey, don't you remember when you used to put your arm around me and hold me tight? Husband picked up on that signal message and put his arm around her, squeezed her, you know. Then the next thing she said was, uh, honey, don't you remember when you used to hug me and kiss on me and nibble on my ear? And with that, the husband jumped up real quick and took off. Wife said, Where are you going? Husband says, I gotta go get my teeth. You know, sometimes the demands for these things, you know, require a little bit more equipment. So, you know, it's just something to look forward to as we go on in years. This morning we're gonna be we're gonna be talking about the um the the the sacred, if you want to call it that, uh and it can it can be called the sacred bond of marriage. Uh we're in the middle of our fix in 26 related uh fix in 2020. We've been um looking at the uh the main theme verse has been Ecclesiastes, where uh he writes that the cord of three strands is not so easily broken. We've seen how that cord of three strands involves you, someone else, and Christ. How when you are a new Christian, when you are a new person, when when you are a child of God, it should have an effect on that strand. We also understand and can see how when we are wrapped up and have Jesus in our lives, like the song was led this morning before the lesson, Jesus being our friend that we can turn to in no matter what situation, when he's involved in that strand, it's only going to strengthen that relationship, strengthen that bond. We've talked about how there's we've had we have different kinds of relationships in our lives that that core to three strands can can easily get wrapped up into. Uh we, you know, how what does it mean to have to be to have a group or a handful or uh some Christian uh friends in your life that you can have a relationship like Jonathan and David did. And and why is it so important for you to be that kind of Christian friend in someone else's life? Because there is accountability and responsibility, there is an expectation that comes along with being a Christian and how those needs are that kind of relationship. Um if you want to come at a Christian buddy, that's fine. If you want to come with a a brother in Christ, that's fine. And then there's also the the relationship between um uh being a being uh a Christian employee. And what does that mean to be also to be mean a Christian supervisor or manager or boss? And I said last Sunday, I said I'm I'm I took a little time to highlight the fact that when we were talking about having uh uh Christian friends and the importance of having best buddies who are who are who believe what you believe and practice what you and worship kind of the same way you worship, I said some of you will will say, and rightly so, that your spouse, your husband, or your wife could be considered your best friend. And I said, Well, I understand that, and I even say that and use that, I also know that it doesn't stop at that level because of the commitment that we've made, or the or the commitment that husbands and wife make to one another in the bonds of marriage heightens that relationship. It brings it closer, it brings a different, it brings different avenues into the relationship. And so the the what I as we go through this lesson this morning, I want you to think about, I want you to think about this question here. Are are you and your spouse, and I know we have some people who've been married here for a long time, I mean, like Mike and Kathy and Donna Lou have been married for a long time. Are you and your spouse moving closer to Christ together? Or is there a drift that kind of takes place sometimes? And you've been, maybe the two of you have been trying to hold on to this relationship together on your own, using your own strength, and not necessarily getting that third strand involved into those relationships. You see, I haven't been I haven't been married for 55 years, but I've I've I've I've seen enough and I've experienced enough and I've read enough and and I've I've tried to uh practice the what practice what I've seen and what I've been taught through other successful marriages, but I know for a fact that a successful marriage isn't just about a husband and a wife looking at each other. It's about both of them looking and having their focus set on Christ. Knowing that the closer they get to him, that means they're gonna be also getting closer to one another. Having a Christ-first marriage is the reason why the marriage cord is so important. We can we come to the most today, we're gonna look at the most intimate, the most intimate, foundational human relationship God ever created. That's marriage. Back in the beginning, there was a divine blueprint put together on how a relationship to be formed. It was read this morning for you from Genesis 22, starting in verse 24. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. As a society, we desire, or there is a desire, for that to actually take place. A successful marriage is the combination of two people striving to become one flesh. Moses gives us a foundational definition of a marriage in many ways. A marriage is the reason why a man will leave his father and his mother and be united with his wife. Notice the deliberate step, or steps, if you will. First, there is a separation from an old foundation or relationship. The man leaves. His father and his mother. There is then there is a binding, a coming together, a binding of thegether. Where the husband is no longer seen as an individual. He is seen to have a extra a bonus piece added to him. And the wife is no longer seen as an individual. She is seen as having a bonus piece added to her. There is the coming together, two becoming one. Now, this is going to sound, I have said, I have said some things from the pulpits before in the past, preaching in other places and preaching here that have sounded sounded a little might make it sound a little, make you feel a little uncomfortable, and that's okay. I would submit to you that even though that verse is what we desire as far as a marriage go, the expectation, hear me out, the expectation of outside family influences does not allow this to properly take place. Because we grew up, I grew up, most of us have grew up with the concept of this family is important, and there's nothing more important than family. And so when Michelle, when I tricked Michelle into marrying me, when Michelle married me, she became, according to the culture that we live in, she became a part of my family. That's what the outside world will say in this in today's world. She became a part of my family. But that's not what that's not what that says in Genesis, does it? My family included my mama, my daddy at the time. Well, no, both my grandparents were were, both sides of my grandparents were gone on before Michelle and I got married. But there was my mom and my dad, then there was my brothers and their wives, and there was my nieces and my nephews, and there was, you know, this, that, and the other. The the I the desire is for there to be a new individual family taking place, growing root, and starting up. But the expectation from the outside world, and and I will say this, it has probably gotten into our into our own system of understanding beliefs as well, is that that um that, well, Michelle is supposed to be part of the of the crane family. That's not what God, I don't, I don't, I'm the more I read about this, the more I'm I'm I'm convinced that's not what God intended. God intended for Bland and Michelle to become one. And the things that we establish as husband and wife, and the things that we think are or deem are important, we become our own new, at the time, little family. Now, there's benefits to that. We had Michelle and I both had the benefit of having she had her grandparents were still alive. Her mom and dad were still alive. She had two, she has a brother and a sister, both of them are married and and and have and we have cousins and nieces and nephews. I have nieces and nephews on my side. But when it comes to the crane, the bland crane, the bland and Michelle Crane family, we are as individual as the next person. And I don't want to sound insensitive, and I'm pretty sure this will take a little bit of time for you to see how the expectation of a growth of a family compound is not in the Bible. So Corey didn't become a member of the Sam Green family in general. No, she became one with Sam, and Sam became one with her. And it's their responsibility and it's their accountability to establish what they see as the Sam and Corey Green family in order to what they're gonna do is right. And therefore, grandma and granddad and mama and daddy and mother-in-law and father-in-law have no say in what they are supposed to be doing as husband and wife. Oh, I didn't get a lot of amens on that one, did I? Sure, there's advice, and sure there's good godly counsel, and sure there's really, I hope and pray, there's great examples coming from grandma and grandpa and grandma and mom and dad and aunt and uncles and cousins and everything else. But there is there is to be no interference in what they say they're going to do. Because the two are not a part of a bigger compound. No, the two are now one. There needs to be an understanding and there needs to be a realization on that family, on that concept. Because I think too many times the expectation can be overwhelming for young couples. The idea of that can be can be almost tragic, hard to live up to. And we need to understand that. Because on the flip side of that is this is that when two people outside of Christ who don't know anything, who wouldn't know, who don't know about Jesus, who don't know about Christianity, who don't know about the church, when and they're and they're still in that lost uh phase of their life, they're that when they're imperfect, and they're and they have all these imperfections, these human qualities that you can't sustain a relationship and be have and have be and be of one flesh. Once again, you have negative outside influences coming in. And so without that help, without that third strand, two people trying to become one will inevitably wind up becoming frayed and tearing apart. That's why there's all this you know, don't be yoked together with an unbeliever kind of stuff. That sounds kind of harsh, but it does make sense. A husband and wife that pray together stay together. A husband and wife that worship together stay together, a husband and wife that have mutual respect and understanding for one another stay together. But when one's trying to go one way and one's trying to go the other, or dare I even say, trying to get caught back up or keep up with what the other one's trying to do, it makes it hard. It makes it really, really hard. Human love alone has its limits. Trying to allow the Father to let his love and his support, the wisdom that comes from his words, income into and infuse a marriage is limitless, in my opinion. And as you can tell, I've been describing something that I've talked about many times, and that's the that's the marriage triangle. The marriage triangle is a very simple, simple thing. But before I get into that, uh the the Bible does a good job of describing that marriage triangle. And um, I'm going to be reading from Ephesians chapter 5. And it's it's pretty long, so you're gonna have to bear with me a little bit. But um once you once we get the big picture, then I'll go into describing this. It starts the marriage, uh Ephesians chapter 5, starting verse uh 17 says this therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is, and do not get drunk on wine, which is there's the which which in which there's debauchery, but be filled with the spirit, speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Wait a minute, boy. I thought we were reading about marriages, not about churches. Hang on, calm down. Verse 20. Always give thanks in all things for the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to our God and Father, and subject yourselves to one another in fear of Christ. Why subject yourselves to your husbands as to the Lord? For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is also the head of the church, he himself being the savior of the body, but as the church is subject to Christ, also, wives, ought to be to their husbands in everything. And husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, so that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the water and with the word, that he might present himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own body. He who loves his own, um, he who loves his own life loves himself. For no one has ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church. Because we are part of his body. For this reason, there's that verse again. We just looked at it. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined with his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great, Paul says, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, for as you individually, each husband is to love his own wife, the same as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. When you think about a triangle, there's three points. There's three points. And when you think about that triangle, what you need to do is you have husband and wife at the base of this triangle, and at the apex is Christ, or apex is God. So Christ is at the top, and what he's doing is he is reaching, he is drawing, he is trying to get them both to get them closer to God. Well, if one angle is going to shrink, all the angles need to shrink. And so, in order to shrink that triangle, a husband and a wife have to get closer to one another, and if they're getting closer to one another, guess what? They're also getting closer to God. When a husband and a wife are putting God first into their marriage, it is an amazing thing that takes place. The distance between them sometimes can seem wide because of stress, because of miscommunications, because of skeletons in closets, because of conflicts that creep in, but Christ sits at the top, rooting on, cheering on, expecting this marriage to be about him. How many times have you heard a couple in uh fussing and fighting, and someone says, Well, sometimes, honey, it's not always about you. Well, when Jesus is in the third strand, it's always about him. So at the end of each sermon we we you know, we we we offer an invit uh we offer an invitation every Sunday um and and and we have a a invitation song that we sing. Uh that's that's you know, that's something that it's always been done and is you know a b a good way to do it. I usually I usually will stand up and wait for someone, if someone wants to respond, I I usually hang around for two verses in a chorus, and then I go back. I I take off my microphone, I hand my clicker over to my media guy, and then I go to my office, I get a drink of water uh from a water bottle that I have in my office, and then uh I grab um a box of candy. I have I have a bat have a box, a little canister of candy. Um here at uh Northcrest, uh there's this we have this thing called Bible bingo. And if the kids uh get a bingo on their uh thing, then on their little chart, then when after church they come find me and they get a small little you know fun fun-sized package of Skittles or Starburst, whichever one um whichever one I get to have, but we have but um and then uh also I stand in the middle, I stand at the in the center doorway and I greet people as they come out of the auditorium, and and of course I get you know good jobs and that kind of thing, and and and I'm always thankful for that. They always I have a very I have a very, very supportive congregation. Um they're honest with me, you know. Every once in a while I'll have someone come up and go, that one was that one was different, you know, or or whatever, or I'll have, you know, but the majority of them are are very supportive. Um it's it's it's very rare that this gentleman will tell me anything other than, hey, good job. That was really good. Uh but uh apparently this this uh Sunday he was um impressed with the um with what I said about um how we are not necessarily as a society practicing the respect that needs to be shown toward a new family dynamic starting up. When the two become one, uh that means that they are a brand new family. They will be and they have the right to establish their own traditions, their own schedules, their own um to to do whatever they need to do to function as a family unit. And and and he goes, he says the what he he said, but what you said was accurate, and what you said was right, he goes, I heard it said I heard it put this way when a couple gets married, they are not getting married to be a blessing to your family. But you can be a blessing to theirs. They are not getting married to be beneficial to the larger family dynamic of one side or the other, but you can definitely be a benefit to this new family getting started. And I believe that the faster we can understand this and put these ideas into practice, I think we would see how marriages would not have the pressure that is compounded when we say we believe what the Bible says about the two becoming one, but we also say you're joining our family. That's not right. I'm sorry. I may be I may be too way off in the field, and so you know if you want to tell me what you think, your moral power to you. In fact, I would love to hear from anyone about any of the things that are said on this podcast and any of the sermons that have preached in the past. You can always uh get a hold of me through uh Facebook Messenger. Um the Preacher Man Podcast has a Facebook page, and you can find it on Facebook. Um I have uh email address, preacherman1178 at gmail.com, preacherman1178 at gmail.com. I would love to hear from you about anything, and perhaps we can uh talk about it and I can have it uh mentioned into a future podcast. Speaking of future podcasts, Lord willing, we are going to put a uh a somewhat start a conclusion of the Court of Three Strands um series by understanding what the Bible wants us to know about conflict resolution when it comes to uh all of these different kinds of relationships that are happening in our church. And of course, we're definitely going to be uh looking and talking about Matthew 18. But there are other passages of scripture that we need to take into consideration when there is conflict in families, when there is conflict in marriages, when there is conflict in brothers and sisters, or when there is conflict in different groups that are intertwined in our church families. Hope you have a blessed day. This is the Preacher Man. Going to turn it back over to you. Um look forward to seeing you or having you listen to my next podcast in the future. Thanks for tuning in and listening today. Umby and God bless, and always remember who you are and whose you are.