Very Bald and Very Beautiful in KC

Whether you're nursing a hangover or just living for the drama, this week we are breaking down a Kansas City weekend we've added to our vault. From deep diving into the chaos of Trixie and Katya's live show, the blurry highlights of a late night at our favorite gay bar, and the essential (and slightly painful) art of the Sunday recovery. It's time to chat and yap about us getting very bald and beautiful in KC. 

Distribution: Buzzsprout

Editing and Production: Riverside.FM Studios

Music: "Good Things Take Time" by Otto.mp3 and Upbeat

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

That really made me nauseous.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

Not me, just another day, another modello.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

I know it is for you, but for me, after the weekend we had, brother, I'm hurting.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

I'm pretty sure you're fine, no?

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Uh, I mean, yeah, yes and no. I feel like it's been a while since I've drank, and so I know, like, after like coming home that day into like Sunday, I had like minor like headaches and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

But well, yeah, you don't drink though.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Yeah. But other than that, I think I'm okay. I'm just being dramatic. You okay?

SPEAKER_01 0:43

No, it's only in my eye.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

You blew smoke in your eye. That's no bro.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

I blew it that way. Away from my body.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

I said right at the hoe. Anyways.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

You ready to chat and yapp about Kansas City?

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Oh, there ain't no other way. Lego.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Okay, committed gang, we've talked about some of our KC memories, but today we're adding another memory to the vault. From drag queens to popping our pussies and the clerb. It's time to chat and yap about Kansas City March 2026.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

Ooh! So we have been planning this trip since January. I think that's when I bought the tickets, was like January around your birthday, actually. And um was so excited, and then it kept getting closer and closer and closer and closer. And then the day came and I was so ready. I worked that morning, and I was ready to rock and roll. And Brandon Don't you Brandon?

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Don't you fucking dare. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

Brandon does what Brandon does best. He's not good at the time management. And I go ahead. Go ahead, girl.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

No, no, you go, you go, girl. You go. Um I have some comments after.

SPEAKER_00 2:13

Comments, questions, concerns.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Um physical violence, maybe.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

Physical. Um Brennan was an hour late picking me up. And here's the thing that got me as I texted you at what I got 11:30 or whatever it was. I was at work till noon.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

I think it was like 11:30. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

And I said, Your ass better be up because I know that you like to sleep. And I know that you were up drinking the night before with King Neptune and Gubbles. Please, for the love of Christ, don't lie to me.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so I texted you and you're like, Don't worry, I'm up. I've been up. Um, I'm actually fixing to leave. I said, Bet. So I'm driving, I work on the east side, I live downtown. So I'm driving the interstate to get back to the apartment. And I look at your location on on the to find my my phone, and I see where you're at, and I know it's where Miss Gupples lives. And I said, That's not her name. But I I I thought we agreed on Miss Gupples.

SPEAKER_01 3:13

My two bitches.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

Well, that's plural.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

Bitch one and bitch number two.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

So we're leaving King Neptune completely out. We're not too much.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

He's interchangeable.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

The girl.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

You decide.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

How I feel that day. Yeah. Okay, cool. Okay, so today I'm saying Gupples. I think it's cute. I think she would love.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

Sounds it sounds like Guppy, like the fish.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

That's why I'm saying King Neptune.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

It was like Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Oh my god, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

It just clicked in my brain.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Bitch. See, she I know she would have already gotten it. She's probably like, oh yeah, that's cute.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

I told her about it, and I was like, we came up with the name for you.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

Right.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

And I said Gobbles, and she was like, cute because you you call King Neptune. She was like, that's cute.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

See, so she's already on my side and you were already trying to find out.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

I wasn't paying attention. No, I know.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. Anyways, saw you were still at our house and I was like, this motherfucker. But not nonetheless, you're already gonna do one. I should beat the shit out of you. I should just beat the shit out of you.

SPEAKER_01 4:19

I love my burps.

SPEAKER_00 4:20

I do.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Thank you. Thank you. Um so, anyways, yeah. Fucking hour late picking me up. It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. Luckily, it's just KC, so we're only like with how you drive. You're an hour and what's on your shirt? What? Oh, on my WWE apparel, yeah. It's a sticker. It comes with a shirt. I can pull it off. Oh yeah, I just I got so excited it's just see. It has the WWE label on it.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

I love that for you.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 4:55

Continue.

SPEAKER_00 4:55

I know how you feel. That's fine.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

Nothing against it.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

And so it's like right up there with uh NASCAR.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

See, now that's white trash. That is white trash.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

But I don't associate white trash people with pro wrestling.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

Yeah. Yeah, pro-wrestling.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

But it's close to it.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

Thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Just know I love you.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

I love you too.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Good. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

We all have our vices. Um, and back on fucking topic. We finally got on the road though. And I feel like the road trip is never bad. The road trip's always fun for us. We did um the ABC game, which I feel like I've only done once before, maybe, and I had to have been with you.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

Yeah, because we we had talked about it in the car. Yeah, yeah. It was with me and my sister.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

Right, on the way to Denver, and that was a long fucking drive. So we did the ABC game. It took us fucking forever to get through it because we're both stupid.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

Um we're not stupid, we just we were stemming the entire fucking car ride.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

Right, with with your brain and my papaya pussy.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

Oh yeah, and your papaya pussy.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

My papaya pussy.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

Or papaya pussy. I make sure the peas sound crisp, you know?

SPEAKER_00 6:12

Right, right. The mic's like help, help. ABC game, and then what was the other one?

SPEAKER_01 6:17

It was the Oh, uh, it's the license plate game. Right. So you So basically everybody in the state of Kansas, they all have the same, it's like four numbers and there's three different letters at the end. Letters to it, yeah. Yeah. So you have to come up with a word or like a phrase for the last three letters of the license plate.

SPEAKER_00 6:37

So if I just came up with three random letters, can you give me something?

SPEAKER_01 6:40

I'll certainly try.

SPEAKER_00 6:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Um maybe something easy.

SPEAKER_00 6:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:44

Um no crazy shit.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

Uh C C V.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Hunty coochie vagina.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Love. I was gonna say cox condoms and vaginas.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Twin.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

Twin. Twin.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Twin for real.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

Type sheet. Type shit. So and it was so crazy because like when I was doing this um like thing of stuff for this episode or whatever, I was like, oh, we usually listen to music, and we did, but it like wasn't like like how we would normally listen to music because we were like you said, we were stimming the whole fucking time.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

We were literally yapping the entire time. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

Um, which I we said in the car, we're like, we should have brought the podcast equipment and just killed us out of time.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

We're gonna have to try that when we go see Miss Ethel.

SPEAKER_00 7:33

Yeah, in May. We're booked and busy, bitch.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

You know that booked and busy.

SPEAKER_00 7:37

Booked and busy. Um, yeah, we'll probably try that in May when we get back on the road and do stuff. Anyways, we get to Casey. And okay, the thing about me, a love language of mine, if you guys don't know, I love planning trips, I love booking trips, I love doing things. The only problem I always have with Kansas City, at least the past couple of times I've been, a lot of where I need to go for some type of events or whatever, it's always around Westport. So I naturally book around Westport. Last time I booked around Westport was not great. This time I feel like I did a little bit better. Um we had a Starbucks and a liquor store right next to us. The only problem was that our hotel, which they let me know 24 hours before we we left town, was completely underneath renovation.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

Fuck the Starbucks, but the liquor store, liquor store, and then there was a quit trip right next to the hotel. But Ashley has this fun thing. And granted, the room was nice and it was cheap, but girl, it was so bad. We were in the ghetto. If you if there was a comparison for it, and I said this while we were walking to a quick trip, right? It was uh giving Douglas in Washington a quit trip.

SPEAKER_00 9:03

Which is my quick trip because I live downtown. That's the closest quick trip to where I live.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

Which is crazy you go there.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

You know what? It's so funny. I don't go there. My boyfriend goes there, but we know how he is. Um, he refuses to let me go there, so the quit trip that I usually go to is off of Canon E6 and Oliver. You know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_01 9:22

Yeah, that's a nice tour. That's a nice one.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't go there unless I absolutely have to. Or I or if I have my boyfriend with me, because he'll hold my hand the whole time.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

I only go there for the beer. Literally stop. And to get harassed sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

Yeah, yeah. What you did today.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

If you know, you know. Right. If you listen, I don't know if you do.

SPEAKER_00 9:41

Did you did you have a business card? You could have gave him a business card.

SPEAKER_01 9:44

No, I passed them all out. I passed them out at the uh concert.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

Love. At the concert, and I think at Missy B's. I think you probably threw some down at Missy B's or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

I threw down three, four?

SPEAKER_00 9:59

Yeah. I have a couple stocks.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

I actually found my other stack. It was in my car. I was like, where the fuck did they go? And I found them and I was like, oh.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

Perfect. Um, so yeah, that's my downfall. And I think the thing is, so OG Casey residents or people who've gone to Casey as much, I guess, as me personally, I have. Um, if you guys remember, it's where the crazy crab is now on Broadway. It used to be called the what? The crazy crab. We passed by it when we were walking back to the hotel from the the show. Remember when I told you.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

Okay, so if you guys remember, it's where the crazy crab is on Broadway. It used to be called Chubby's on Broadway. You used to get these super cheap cinnamon rolls, they were like Cinnabon level cinnamon rolls for like 50 cents a pop. And you would get one with your meal and then you could buy them individually. Okay. Loved Chubbies. So sad that they shut down. But the reason why they shut down is because it's ghetto. And the quick trip that we walked to. I remember distinctly going to that quick trip one night after having a drunken escapade in downtown KC after stopping at Chubby's on Broadway and thinking, oh my god, this place is so ghetto. Well, Twisted. Twas indeed like seven years later, here I am staying right next to it. I didn't even realize it until we walked there, and I was like, Brandon.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

Well, you you said that this you said you had Wow. I'm gonna kill myself. JK, JK. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I actually am kidding. Uh you had said that uh I'm gonna spit on you.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Like an alpaca. We talked about that.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

Open your mouth.

SPEAKER_00 11:53

As I do.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

That's crazy. Anyways, we were driving up to the hotel because we had first just like gotten to town, and she was like, This place looks really familiar. And then we both realized, hey, we've been here before. Right. Yeah. That's what that's what I was trying to do. Yeah. Trying to say, and words are hard.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

Words are hard.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

Suck my dick.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

And it was so funny because my boyfriend ended up showing up way later that night, um, almost like as bodyguard status, which I think we both really appreciated. Um, I know I did because I and I know what it's so crazy. He's never hung out with you drunk. And I told him, I was like, you don't understand. Brandon, when he gets a certain type of way, he is a lot to like control. Like, there's a reason why every time we go to KC, I don't wear heels anymore. One, I have weak ankles, and KC's always underneath fucking construction. But two, he's a runner, he's a track star.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

True.

SPEAKER_00 12:54

And he didn't, like, I don't know what it was. Or he just didn't fucking believe me.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

But I didn't run this time, though. You didn't, but but I wasn't all I was a blackout, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:03

But getting you up and down the stairs at Missy B's was a task. That was fun though.

unknown 13:07

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

It was fun for me to see Jim have to handle it. Because he doesn't he never believes me.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

He took you, he took me upstairs.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

And downstairs.

SPEAKER_01 13:16

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

Yeah, because we we stayed mostly upstairs.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

Also, shout out your man for real.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Shut up, my man. I was we're just gonna name drop. I think I just did anyways. Jimmy. Jimmy boy, big Jim, um, big Jim bodyguard, and he showed up later, and that his one request was that we didn't stay in Westport. And then I gave him the the address, and he goes, Ashley Lynn. The fucking ghetto. But I think he actually enjoyed his time once he got through all that contraction. I did too.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Yeah, we were shaking our asses up in the club.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Up in the club, which we'll get to in just a second. So get to the hotel, it's already fucking construction. I feel like the thing that really got me was the fucking Escalator. Not the escimolator, the elevator.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

Um we should also talk about the escimolator. I want to know what that fear. I want to know I want to know the lore behind that.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

Okay, okay, we'll get there. Yeah. I hate it. Um was we get in the uh elevator.

SPEAKER_01 14:14

Can I can I actually just side quick before I lose it? Ashley getting on the on the escalator. Have you ever seen Elf? Uh it has Will Farrell in it, and he doesn't understand what the fucking escalator is.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

Neither do I, girl.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

So he literally puts one foot in like the little step and then does a full fucking split up the escalator. Ashley didn't do that, but she might as well have.

SPEAKER_00 14:40

I might as well have. Yeah, and we'll get there. Um, the whole lore behind the escalator stems from when I was a kid, okay? And like I said, we'll eventually get there in this episode. But we get on the elevator to go up to our room. We're on the fourth floor, which I'm like, ooh, bougie, top level, whatever. Um bitch, we get in the elevator and the door shuts, and I look up, and I know you saw it too because we laughed about it. It's duct taped. Everything is duct taped.

SPEAKER_01 15:11

I was looking at the I don't know what kind of material it was, but there was like, what kind of material would you would you say it is?

SPEAKER_00 15:19

You wonder what it kind of looked like to me. You know a cardboard when cardboard gets wet?

SPEAKER_01 15:22

I was thinking, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

That's what it kind of like.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

So it was like wet cardboard with like a hard film around it, and black, like electrical duct tape was holding this fucking elevator together.

SPEAKER_01 15:39

See, I didn't even see the duct tape until you pointed it out, and I was like, I looked at Ashley and I was like, What the f what where the fuck are we at? I was like, this is why I'm in charge of the hotel.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

I'll tell you what, yeah, it's so funny because why did they text me 24 hours ahead of time? They did not do all of that in 24 hours. You can suck my whole dick.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

For what? What do you mean?

SPEAKER_00 16:00

So they texted me and like 24 hours before we were supposed to be going there, saying, hey, by the way, we're underneath construction. If you don't want to stay here anymore, we understand, we'll give you a full refund. We can you can book somewhere else. Well, at this point, I'm like, well, fuck, I'm like 24 hours away from my trip. We've already paid for it, and it's convenient for where what we're doing in KC.

unknown 16:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

So I was like, fuck it. I'm just gonna like, we'll just it's it can't be that bad. Girl.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

Okay, Johnny. It wasn't that bad.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

It was sketchy though. I did like the outside, the back part.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

Yeah, that had like a little patio area with lights and shit.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

It was giving Mexico.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

I could see that.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

It was okay, it didn't stop our our get ready session. We went to the liquor store and we got buzz balls and beatboxes and cut waters, and Brandon showed me his BBC.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

I do love a good BBC.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

He has a good BBC. Um it tastes so good. I okay, so I've always heard that. Not your BBC, but like BBC drink. And um I'm not black. It could be can be brown too, you don't know.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

Why are you turning red?

SPEAKER_01 17:21

You've seen my penis. You know what it looks like.

unknown 17:25

I have seen your penis.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

It's nowhere near a BVC.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

Not you adding yourself on her podcast. I would have been like, yeah, I got a BVC. What you know about it?

SPEAKER_01 17:35

It's above average penis.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

It is.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

I just want to say that.

SPEAKER_00 17:39

It is.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 17:41

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

You do have a thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

Above average penis. Sorry to your mother and your father and your sister.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

They don't listen to it, I don't think.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

Your your parents don't?

SPEAKER_01 17:54

No. No. They subscribe though. Which is what matters.

SPEAKER_00 17:57

That is what matters.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

And my grandmother too.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

I saw that. Yeah. I said, oh bless. Please don't listen to us.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

I told her I was like, grandma, you can check in with me before you listen. I'm like, you can listen to this episode and this episode and no other episodes.

SPEAKER_00 18:15

And no other episodes until I give you the notice.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

But but if you want, you can subscribe and then hit click on every episode and then just slide your finger.

SPEAKER_00 18:25

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

And that's all you gotta do.

SPEAKER_00 18:26

Right. You can listen to the last 30 seconds of every episode if you'd like.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Right.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

Because we just close it out and it's nice, clean cut. And then you listen to it. Well you know what I mean. At least our music's nice.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

It is nice.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

So, you know, she listened to that. So we're fucking pre-game. I'm a lightweight. So I take a buzz ball. I want to say to the head, but it wasn't to the head, because I'm a bitch. And I put it on ice, which probably was even worse than anything else.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Um It would have been better if they were cold. We could have just taken it to the dome.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

Right. Well, fuck, you took yours to the dome. You didn't give a shit. A shit, a damn, or a fuck.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

No, wait.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

You took a buzz ball to the head because you were like, chug, chug, chug. I said, I don't want to chug it.

SPEAKER_01 19:11

No, because I put it in a cup.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Remember?

SPEAKER_00 19:13

No. I remember your BBC.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

That was when we got back to the room, I think. Oh, and it's been sitting in the for a pregame, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

But yeah, usually I'd take it straight to the dome. Straight to the dome, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

As you should. So getting ready. And really getting ready for me is the whole task in itself. And then Brandon bless his heart. He just like sits on the bed, or he'll like come interchange into the bathroom and just check in and say, What's that? What are you doing?

SPEAKER_01 19:43

I'm like a little kid.

SPEAKER_00 19:44

Right. And you're like, What's that? It was like that's dry shampoo. And you go, I was like, Yeah, there you go. And you're like, you'll walk out and you'll I mean, God bless you. And so, whole pregame, I listened to Drake. I don't know if that's toxic or not, but that man gives me hype. So that's all that was playing. I wish I could say I played other things, but I did not.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

She did not. It was all Drake. Which I'm not mad about.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

Shout out, Aubrey Graham. We love you.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

I mean, it's so fine.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Certified lover boy.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

Um certified fuckboy.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

A certified fuckboy for real. We end up going, so I guess the whole reason we went to Kansas City again was for Trixie Mattel and Katya, the bald and the beautiful. They do a podcast. And if you guys don't know who these drag queens are, these are our mothers. Uh RuPaul, they're on RuPaul's drag race. They have a they are a brand in themselves. And I love them so much.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

My ears ringing.

SPEAKER_00 20:44

Which side?

SPEAKER_01 20:48

Who the fuck talking about me?

SPEAKER_00 20:50

That's literally what that is. If it's that side of your head.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

Or I have tinnitus. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

Usually I'm gonna say someone's talking shit about you, but I'm gonna say it's from the concert. Oh. Yeah, you know what? And I keep forgetting that when you say concert, you mean what you did on Sunday, and I'm like, we didn't go to a fucking concert, bitch. I remember. Yeah. Okay. We'll let you get to that in a second.

SPEAKER_01 21:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

Continue.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

Okay, you're gonna go pee?

SPEAKER_01 21:15

No. Oh. I'm getting another beer.

SPEAKER_00 21:17

Oh, damn, that was fast.

SPEAKER_01 21:19

No girl, I threw that shit back. I told you I was ready for another beer.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

And Brandon has had a very um trying past 48 hours at his civilian job, his nine to five, and um bless his heart, he deserves all the beer.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Yesterday was some fucking bullshit.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

I don't know if you want to talk about your nine to five, but oh he said no. Okay, I don't blame him because I would not.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

Not yesterday. Today was fine.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

Today was fine.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Today was tolerable, I should say that.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

Sure. Um so, anyways, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

So excuse me, sir.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

He said, I'm on the podcast now, you dumb bitch. That's what you get for getting up.

SPEAKER_01 21:55

Setari.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

Byex. Get down, you fat bitch.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

I sorry by you.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

So, yes, uh Trixie Mattel, Katya, very bald, very beautiful. They do like live shows every now and then. And so when I heard that they were touring again, I was on their um uh list of pre-sell hopped on that hoe so quick and said, originally, like I said, Jim was supposed to go. His work is so unpredictable, and it just so happened when we were doing the podcast, it was his idea to give away his ticket. He goes, Why don't you just have Brandon take my spot and you guys go do it and make it something for like committed technically? Shout out Jimmy Boy, shout out Jimmy Boy, because it was such a fun experience for I think us to experience them not other, not only together, but from a podcast like business perspective to see how they do because we did do promo, we did promo technically, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:58

Two beer cracks in one episode.

SPEAKER_00 23:01

Oh my. So I love Trixie, I love Katya. I think they play off each other so well to me. They really do they bounce off each other the way Brandon and I bounce off each other. So it's fun to see their friendship. So, some of my favorite parts. So Trixie talks about Girl Scouts and how you know they travel and they do all these types of things um around the country. And she was talking about these Girl Scouts and how she thought, which I think this is so funny because I remember this. I was a Girl Scout. Ew, shout out, Girl Scouts of America. Uh going door to door, then back in the day, people would write down what they wanted and we would have to order them. Now, these little fucking vultures of bitches, they have these cookies on deck. So like when you go to like Walmart.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

Walmart. That's where I got mine.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

Did you? See, we go to Sam's Club every like two, three times a month. Yes, they get us every single time at the Sam's Club. Yeah. On that West side.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Smart though.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

It is very smart. It's see, now that's good PR.

SPEAKER_01 24:04

Right.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

That's good promo. So nowadays, they're like post up these fucking cookies, trying to get me with my lemonades and my peanut butter patties, because that's what the fuck I get. So if you guys ever want to send care packages to us, that's what I fucking want.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

Um, I also like peanut butter patties, but I fucking love thin mints.

SPEAKER_00 24:26

You're such a basic bitch.

SPEAKER_01 24:27

I'll shut those right up my pussy.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

Right up the boy pussy. So will Jim. Jim loves the thin mints.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

Do you know what's funny? What? I bought a whole case. I'm not kidding.

SPEAKER_00 24:38

It's big back energy. I love it. Yeah, I love it. Uh so she talks about how these little girls are trying to hound her. And she's like thinking that she's gonna get these cookies in like six months, and she's like, Nope, here you go, here's your thin mints. And I guess Trixie was a Boy Scout, and how she used to have to go door to door and be like, Hi, do you want to buy popcorn from Boy Scouts of America? We will get these to you in eight months if we don't move. And I think that was so funny because that was so accurate to how it was back in the day. Because that's how my brother was too. He did Boy Scouts.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

I was also in Boy Scouts.

SPEAKER_00 25:13

Were you really? Yeah, I don't remember that. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

Because my dad was scout leader.

SPEAKER_02 25:20

I could see that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

He hated it.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

I bet you hated it too.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

I was like, Dad, we can stop any time.

SPEAKER_00 25:29

We're not in a contract.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

At a certain age, I was like, nah, chief. That ain't for me.

SPEAKER_00 25:34

I that's so funny. I did um Girl Scouts with Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 25:40

So we did it together. We were brownies, and then we went up to Girl Scouts, and then we were going to be like camp leaders, and then we both got probably that similar age, we're like, fuck this. Fuck this. I don't want to do it anymore. Uh so I thought that was funny. She also went to Dolly World, which I'm going to not Pigeon Forge, but I'm going to Gattinsburg at the end of the year for one of my best friend's birthdays. And Dolly World's kind of around in that area, and sh the bitch just went to ride rides, right? And the thing about people in Tennessee. You're going without me. Don't don't talk to me, girl.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

You you going who are you going with?

SPEAKER_00 26:22

That's for her birthday. She's she's literally delaying her birthday from July to October.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

Okay, so I'm coming with you guys.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

Okay, perfect, perfect, perfect. The more the merrier, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

Their rides are fucking insane.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

I've never been there before.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

I haven't either.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

I'm so excited. Okay. You've got it. You said I'm packing my bag right now.

SPEAKER_01 26:41

I'm officially inviting myself.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

She's gonna listen to this and be like, perfect.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

Hi, sweetie. I'm coming with just so you know.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

Um thanks for the invite. Right, vocal stem. So the thing about Tennessee is vocal. There's uh spoiler, in a couple of weeks, we're gonna do an episode on vocal stemming. That's gonna be so fun. I cannot wait for you guys to listen to that. Me too. Tennessee seems all fun and dandy until you realize it's a red fucking state. And I'll tell you what, one thing I don't fuck with, Republicans. Uh and it's so funny because technically we're a red state, but I feel like we're not as red as like Texas, Tennessee, et cetera, et cetera.

SPEAKER_01 27:19

Tennessee flipped.

SPEAKER_00 27:21

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Are you sure?

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Uh you can ask Dr. Google if you would love.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

They flipped Texas, though. And Texas is a Republican state.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

I know. Texas is the one that was like one of the first to be like Florida. They flip Florida.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

Fuck Florida though. Dumb bitches. JK, love you.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

JK, we just love Miami. And uh Walt Disney World, me personally, Brandon hates Disney.

SPEAKER_01 27:48

I've never been to Disney.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

But you don't like Disney like movies and stuff, right?

SPEAKER_01 27:53

No, I do.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

Girl, I'm gonna beat the bricks off your ass. Beating the bricks off your ass. That's where I want. That's where I want to go. That was probably the best vacation I ever had growing up. Walt Disney World. Twice, bitch.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

Yeah, I I want to go to that, but at the same time, I've seen TikToks about that, and it you'd have to get the fast pass. Right. It's like it's like$400 a ticket.

SPEAKER_00 28:24

Which is insane because I always say that if again, running back to we're completely off topic, but running back to things in Kansas City around Halloween time, they have that thing at Oceans of Worlds of Fun.

SPEAKER_01 28:34

I was gonna say we could do that, that'd be fun.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

So I've been there, God, it's probably about five times now in my adult life. And I'm always one that advocates for a fast passage to even do that. Because if you haven't been, it is a fright night where it starts at nightfall and they have the parade, and then once the parade is done, then you're open to midnight basically. So from like 7:30 to midnight, you have eight haunted houses to get through. Well, if you don't fucking fast pass that bitch, you're maybe getting through three from 7:30 to midnight.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

Yeah. That's a that's a hard baby.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

Yeah. So I always advocate for fast passes. So for me, I would do that regardless.

SPEAKER_02 29:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:13

Now the money, of course, is like ridiculous. I actually saw a thing that says it's a lot cheaper to fly to Jap to Japan, go to Walt Disney World in Japan, and then fly back. And it's cheaper to do that as a family of four than it is to go down to Orlando and stay at Walt Disney World.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

That's insane.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

Yeah. Money wise, if you add it all up, it's cheaper. Also, excuse me. I was waiting for your vocal stem to come in. That that's your own personal vocal stem.

SPEAKER_01 29:44

No, it's from it's it's it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Show.

SPEAKER_01 29:48

I show. I show and tell.

SPEAKER_00 29:49

I show and tell.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

I show and tell.

SPEAKER_00 29:51

Uh so, anyways, back to Tennessee. So Trixie. Now, Trixie does not go everywhere in her drug. No, but she is a gay man. So, you know, um you're gonna show me.

SPEAKER_01 30:06

Oh god, okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:07

Okay, go for it.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

Just turn it down a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 30:10

Okay. That's you as fuck. No, literally.

SPEAKER_01 30:22

Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

Uh she doesn't go everywhere in drag. I think that would be exhausting anyways. But she is a gay man, right? Who are we talking about? Trixie Mattel. We're talking about the tran the transgenderism in Tennessee.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

I feel like it would be an absolute nightmare to be in drag in the middle of summer in Tennessee.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

I think just in Tennessee. Like I said, in Tennessee.

SPEAKER_01 30:50

Because it's just hot there in general.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

That rare rare rare rare red state. Yeah. I couldn't even imagine. Please.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

So I I understand why she wouldn't do it.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:59

I feel like she has to she only has to dress up in drag if she absolutely is absolutely necessary.

SPEAKER_00 31:04

Oh, 100%. Yeah. I would only dress up in drag. I would only dress up in general if I had to.

SPEAKER_01 31:09

Right.

SPEAKER_00 31:10

That's why I don't dress up for work. Well, I dress up for work, but I don't do like a full beat every fucking day. That's exhausting. Anyways, she's on the the bitch loves rides, okay? Just like us. And she's waiting in line, and this little kid is like staring. And Trixie's just like, you know. And this little kid says, Mama, that's transgenderism. And she had to pause and stop, and she never, she didn't, she's she said that she didn't say anything. But you know, like when you when you wish that you would have said something and you sit with it for a long time. So she was sitting with it, and she really wished that she just would have turned around and like looked her in her face and said, You want to know what? We if you want to talk about transgenderism, right? We should take a look at your fucking mother. And I lost it. I was dying. I thought that was so funny. Because I can only imagine what this kid's mother looked like hillbilly redneck missing her two front teeth. Please.

SPEAKER_01 32:08

Mama.

SPEAKER_00 32:09

Mama, girl.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

Sweetie. Um I should have paid more attention at the show.

SPEAKER_00 32:15

I think you were just so submerged in just the whole experience of it.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

I was like listening, but also trying to like. I was listening, but I wasn't listening.

SPEAKER_00 32:23

You're trying to. That's why when it was going, I was like, if I don't put some of these things down in my notes tab, I'm not gonna remember anything.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

And I'm I'm s I'm kind of mad I didn't do that because I saw you doing that, and I was like, fuck, I should do that too. But then I was like, Ashley's got it. My immersion! No.

SPEAKER_00 32:43

So another one that I think you said this was your favorite part too. This is the one that you remember the most.

SPEAKER_01 32:48

God, the slideshows.

SPEAKER_00 32:49

The fucking slideshows. I died. They were everything. I loved it. What's some of yours? I think I have a picture. I can refer back to. Because I knew if I didn't take pictures of these, I was gonna forget.

SPEAKER_01 33:04

Surprise, show day. Surprise.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

So I love um that we quoted um Missy Elliott. And I quote, take my thong off and my ass go boom. That's accurate as fuck for me.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

Um yikes. Uh well.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Explain to the class. How can you?

SPEAKER_01 33:27

So it's giving like it's giving like Dobby from Harry Potter with a wig on.

SPEAKER_00 33:34

Cutty. Or no, like Lord of the Rings.

SPEAKER_01 33:36

Lord of the Rings, yeah. Like the Hobbit.

SPEAKER_00 33:38

My precious. What's his name? I don't know. See, you wanna know who's gonna kill me for that one? She's a big fan of this of fucking Lord of the Rings.

SPEAKER_01 33:46

I've seen it. I just don't remember. I don't remember his name. Yeah. Okay, but anyways, yeah, that's what it's giving. Gollum. His name's Gollum.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

Gollum.

SPEAKER_01 33:53

Gollum with a with a Gollum with a fucking lace front wig.

SPEAKER_00 33:57

Big volume, too. Big volume. Platinum. Love her.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

Trixie wig for sure.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

Trixie wig for sure.

SPEAKER_01 34:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

Yeah. So I love that. Um, of course, I love um you're a gay bald f I'm stuck with the nipples.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

Why were his nipples so big?

SPEAKER_00 34:19

Also some pepperoni nipples.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

He was lactating.

SPEAKER_00 34:21

Lactating. Love it.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

And another one that I actually sent this uh into my group chat with uh couples. Yes. And I was like, King Neptune, it's you.

SPEAKER_00 34:32

You're a gay bald cunty. Another one I did not take pictures of. Sh both of them. Well, Trixie did. This is more Trixie's slideshow. Uh, the recasting of Wicked. That was fierce. That was fierce for me.

SPEAKER_01 34:51

I've never seen Wicked, so I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 34:53

So Wicked's actually really good. Usually, so I'm a theater kid. For those of you who don't know, I am a thespian and uh loved it. The movies were good, but of course, nothing ever beats like the Broadway musical. You know what I mean? You don't know what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

No, I don't know what you mean.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

Yeah, that's fine, it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 35:11

I am not one of those gays.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

Go ahead and say it.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

I'm not one of those fans.

SPEAKER_00 35:17

There you go. Ew. Um now. There's gonna be a lot of ducks in those episodes. So many ducks.

SPEAKER_01 35:23

Only two, though. Three, three ducks. Three ducks.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

Because if we count mine, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

Four ducks.

SPEAKER_00 35:30

I really get tired of that duck. I hate post-production with the fucking duck.

SPEAKER_01 35:34

I love the duck.

SPEAKER_00 35:35

I know you do.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

You don't have to duck it out at all. You could just we could just say that's up to you, girl. No, we'll keep the duck in. Okay, yeah. I like the duck.

SPEAKER_00 35:44

You said I like the duck. I'm gonna make my your life a little hard. We're gonna keep the duck in. Now, a lot of ups. The venue, of course, too. I kind of skipped over that. Gorgeous. Has anyone ever been to the Uptown Theater? If you haven't, you should. It looked like Caesar's fucking palace.

SPEAKER_01 36:00

It was very like rustic. It had a really cute vibe to it. I liked it too.

SPEAKER_00 36:04

Yes. Like it was almost very like. Not rustic, but like Yeeho! We're rustic and we're Caesar's palace. Do you want me to like Mashed into one? Do it.

SPEAKER_01 36:14

Do we punch you in the face? Is that what you want?

SPEAKER_00 36:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:17

Because I will.

SPEAKER_00 36:18

Do it. Domestic violence.

SPEAKER_01 36:22

I just slap the unit on her.

SPEAKER_00 36:25

Do you want to talk about the unit?

SPEAKER_01 36:26

Let's get through this and then we'll talk about it.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

You don't want to talk about your unit? Okay. Well, we'll get there.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

We're gonna get there.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

We're gonna get there, girl. Do you have any downsides to that portion of this trip?

SPEAKER_01 36:41

Our fucking Uber ride.

SPEAKER_00 36:45

Oh, Christ alive. Has okay. Has anyone ever gotten into an Uber? And you can just like tell that they funky. Funky, musty, dusty. No, I'm just saying, have you ever gotten into one? And be like, that was my first time actually.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

For real? Yeah. But I don't order regular Ubers. I get like the premium ones.

SPEAKER_00 37:07

Oh, you get the truck. You send the truck, right?

SPEAKER_01 37:10

I get the Cadillac.

SPEAKER_00 37:12

Because he got it like that, apparently.

SPEAKER_01 37:14

Yeah. Yeah. Well, yes.

SPEAKER_00 37:17

Well, yes, of course.

SPEAKER_01 37:18

So also a stim, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 37:20

I know. I know that one's a stim. I got that one.

SPEAKER_01 37:22

Well, yes.

SPEAKER_00 37:23

Well, yes.

SPEAKER_01 37:24

Anyways.

SPEAKER_00 37:25

We get in this Uber, right? And the guy's already awkward as fuck.

SPEAKER_01 37:30

He doesn't say anything to us.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

No. I almost feel like he's almost embarrassed. Because he has to know what the fuck is going on in that fucking Uber. We get in, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, big papa daddies. Let me tell you, I have never gotten to an Uber and thought I entered into an amusement park bathroom in the middle of summer, 95 degrees with no AC. That is what it smelled like. Like someone took a big shit and it just mustard and festered. I could not stand it.

SPEAKER_01 38:08

This man shit his pants. For sure.

SPEAKER_00 38:11

For sure.

SPEAKER_01 38:11

For sure. And he was like, ah, yes, I like the feeling in my ass. And he like shimmied. He shimmied in his seat. With the shit in his asshole.

SPEAKER_00 38:22

Literally. Like he had to been itchin'. Like that was a fart to where you're like, oh, I need to probably go wild.

SPEAKER_01 38:27

I don't think you've I don't think you fart a girl. I think he sharded. I think he sharded.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

And the thing is that he has to have known, but the thing is also, he had no spray. Because if I shit my pants.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

Did he have the windows down or were the windows up?

SPEAKER_00 38:41

The windows were up. I thought you had AC going. Well, AC can go, but the windows are up. What the fuck's this? It's just gonna fester through.

SPEAKER_01 38:49

It's just gonna be That's true, that's true.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

Cold shit in the air. And so I text you. Ironically, you're texting me. So I'm thinking that we're gonna text each other the same thing. And it's like I sent mine, you sent yours at the same time. So I got your text, you got my text. Bing bing. My text said, This Uber smells like shit. And then your text said, He cannot stop looking at your tits.

SPEAKER_01 39:15

But then right after I said, This man shit his pants.

SPEAKER_00 39:18

Yeah, you're like doubling down. You're like, actually, yes, you're right. Shit his pants.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

But he also was looking at your tits. But honestly.

SPEAKER_00 39:26

Do we blame the man?

SPEAKER_01 39:27

I would too.

SPEAKER_00 39:28

You did.

SPEAKER_01 39:28

And I did.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

Luckily, we like again, I tried to book accordingly to where we were staying at. So the Uber ride itself was probably only five minutes.

SPEAKER_01 39:39

It was super short. It was super short. Thank God it was short.

SPEAKER_00 39:42

I I I almost like kicked myself for not bringing my St. Laurent fucking YSL black opium spray. Because I feel like we got out of the car and we probably smelled like shit for a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 39:53

I didn't smell it after we got out.

SPEAKER_00 39:55

Yeah, but it's like, you know.

SPEAKER_01 39:57

Was it lingering in your nose, maybe?

SPEAKER_00 39:59

Yeah, but you know what else does that? Cigarette smoke.

SPEAKER_01 40:03

Yeah. Like if I smoke a cigarette, it stays in my nose. No, I felt that. So especially after the bar that night.

SPEAKER_00 40:10

Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_01 40:12

Right.

SPEAKER_00 40:14

So, yeah, that I would agree. That's the only downfall I had. Anyways, we end up walking 17 minutes, pissed off at the world. Brandon wants to ride the fucking train. I mean, not the train, the bus.

SPEAKER_01 40:26

No, no, it was a train. Is it a train? Yeah, it was a train.

SPEAKER_00 40:29

Okay, Brandon wants to, he's like doubling down on this train. Little does he know. I can see our hotel like right down the street. And I'm like, we're not taking this fucking train.

SPEAKER_01 40:36

I wanted to ride the fucking train. I know.

SPEAKER_00 40:38

I know.

SPEAKER_01 40:39

It was free.

SPEAKER_00 40:41

But it was like 15 minutes to circle back.

SPEAKER_01 40:44

No girl, we had a time schedule in there. It's like two minutes away.

SPEAKER_00 40:48

But you wanna know what? We did one better. Our fucking bodyguard came and picked us up. Your man. My man. So again, like I said, his job's unpredictable. He wasn't gonna come into Casey until way later, way after the show. And he actually caught us on a corner and picked us up and then took us into the hotel, which was really nice. We end up getting ready, like re-ready. Um, this is where things start to slide downhill, I think, for Brandon a little bit. If you guys don't know, uh Brandon takes cutwaters to the dome, like they're fucking shots. And he took three cutwaters to the head.

SPEAKER_01 41:25

To be fair in my defense, I forgot about that, but it's probably because of the cutwaters.

SPEAKER_00 41:31

It's because of the cutwaters for sure, babe. So three cutwaters to the dome.

SPEAKER_01 41:35

Oh shores, too.

SPEAKER_00 41:36

Yeah, because I was like, uh uh, and you're like, I'll just take it. I said, Bet, it's espresso martini. And you're like, okay, cool, I like that one. To the head. So really four cutwaters.

SPEAKER_01 41:45

But we were in a hurry, though.

SPEAKER_00 41:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:47

Like we were trying to go out.

SPEAKER_00 41:48

And we did. We went to Missy Beast. Shout out, Missy B's. And you know what? It's so funny. Missy B's is a place that we always end up at. It's not a place that we start and stay at. We actually stay there the whole night.

SPEAKER_01 41:59

We closed the hoe down.

SPEAKER_00 42:01

We did. Um, and we usually stayed upstairs. Downstairs, they were having a drag show, which was kind of cool, but we wanted to dance, so we went upstairs, and uh Jim was like, What are you drinking? Well, I brought Mio. And so I was like, I want tequila soda with a lime. And I just squirt my Mio in there and call it call it square. So that's basically what he was like, Okay, that's what you want. That's what we're all getting. So then we all had tequila that night.

SPEAKER_01 42:30

Jimmy Boy, I love you. Thank you for the drinks, but why?

SPEAKER_00 42:35

Big Papa Jim, he paid for us that whole night. Not only bodyguard, but sugar daddy. I know. He's like, meh, whatever. He's like, I got money. He's like, I got money to blow, it's fine. Shout out. Uh drunk as fuck. We end up wanting a drunk cigarette. Uh several. Several drunk cigarettes. Yes. But this one in particular, he went out to the which, you know what? It's so funny. I've never been out there before.

SPEAKER_01 43:02

What?

SPEAKER_00 43:03

The upstairs balcony.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

Yes, you have, girl.

SPEAKER_00 43:06

Does have I really?

SPEAKER_01 43:07

Yeah, when we went with um. I don't have a name for him. Do you remember when you and I and uh your ex-boyfriend? Uh-huh. Remember because he fucked up the night.

SPEAKER_00 43:21

Yeah, he did. We ended up at Denny's at 6 a.m. because that fucking guy.

SPEAKER_01 43:24

Yep. Mm-hmm. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 43:26

I remember that that trip. I don't remember Messy B's.

SPEAKER_01 43:31

Because that's where it started.

SPEAKER_00 43:33

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 43:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:34

Probably why.

SPEAKER_01 43:35

Because you had said, look at that man's ass, and I was like, God damn. And then it spiraled from there. It spiraled it. Spiraled from there. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 43:48

That's my fault. I'm so sorry. Um, I ruined it. So really I ruined the night because I'm like, damn. Damn.

SPEAKER_01 43:54

I mean.

SPEAKER_00 43:57

I hate an insecure man.

SPEAKER_01 43:58

Man. I'm telling you, mama.

SPEAKER_00 44:01

Mama, girl. Sweetie. Um, we ended up going outside to smoke cigarettes. Luckily, Jim brought our favorite, which is a crispy camel crush menthol. And he's trying to light three cigarettes at once. And I don't know what set you off. Something made you laugh. And I don't know if it was us or if it was someone out there on the balcony. But you were facing me. You took a drink of your tequila prior to the Mio because I was squirting Mio in all of our drinks. So maybe it could have been that too, or you just got straight tequila.

SPEAKER_02 44:35

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 44:35

You took a drink and you laughed and it spit all over my face. My tits. My tits were glistening. You felt so bad. You're laughing. You're like, I'm so sorry. It got one of the cigarettes so wet that it was dud. And Jim goes, Ah.

SPEAKER_01 44:53

See, I don't remember that. I call you don't. It's because the fucking tequila.

SPEAKER_00 44:58

And you take your shirt. And that's how I know that you're drunk because you just exposed your whole torso. And you're just taking.

SPEAKER_01 45:05

I'm sorry, I did what?

SPEAKER_00 45:06

Exposed your whole torso.

SPEAKER_01 45:08

Oh, gross.

SPEAKER_00 45:11

Because you take your shirt, you flip it up, and you're wiping from my neck down my tits. You're like, I am so sorry. And then you motorboat me. You're like, do you forgive me? And I was like, yes, I forgive you, and you're fine. Right after that, there's statues outside. Um like Greek god statues. So they have dick and balls. And you bump into it, and I think you're gonna knock it over. But you don't, but you bump into it, you see the dick, and you start to caress the micro penis.

SPEAKER_01 45:43

Fun.

SPEAKER_00 45:43

And and grip the balls.

SPEAKER_01 45:45

I don't remember that. Sounds like something I would do though.

SPEAKER_00 45:48

Some nice um, I don't want to uh misgender this person, so I I'm not gonna say a gender, I guess, came up and was like, is someone watching him tonight? And I said, Yes, we are. And this person goes, okay, because we're harassing this gentleman's micropenis. And I was like, that's that's what he does. She and the person goes, right.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

Did I say anything to this person?

SPEAKER_00 46:24

No, you just laughed. You apologized. I don't know why you were apologizing, but you were apologizing. And then but you kept stroking the micro penis.

SPEAKER_01 46:30

I'm surprised I didn't say mind your fucking business.

SPEAKER_00 46:33

No, you were really nice that night.

SPEAKER_01 46:34

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 46:36

You were actually really nice.

SPEAKER_01 46:38

I'm sorry for stroking this micro penis.

SPEAKER_00 46:40

Right. It's a micro penis.

SPEAKER_01 46:42

I don't I don't remember doing that either.

SPEAKER_00 46:44

That's so fun. We danced all night. We kissed on the dance floor. That was not unusual. Um we kissed. We did. Fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:53

Did I get to kiss your man?

SPEAKER_00 46:55

No, you didn't. And I really thought you were going to.

SPEAKER_01 46:57

Boom.

SPEAKER_00 46:58

I know. Missed opportunity. There's always next time.

SPEAKER_01 47:00

I feel like a little peck, you know?

SPEAKER_00 47:01

It's always next time. You know he's down to get down.

SPEAKER_01 47:03

Yeah, we'll see.

SPEAKER_00 47:04

No, but he watched us from the bar and he was like, Yeah. I love a secure man. That's all I gotta say. And we ended up leaving, Ubering, and we weren't Ubering home, and I wasn't understanding why. And it's because one of our friends back home here told Jim, You've got to go try this burger joint. So open the blade, so good. We went and got burgers. Jim slipped these people a 20 to put us in front of the line. Thank God he did, because baby, we're all falling all over the place.

SPEAKER_01 47:36

Just me.

SPEAKER_00 47:37

Yeah. And we get up.

SPEAKER_01 47:39

Wait, were you falling?

SPEAKER_00 47:40

I think I was falling because I was falling with you. But I was like trying to hold you up, you know what I mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 47:45

Uh then we end up I probably stealing someone else's Uber. But Jim again slipped this guy like 40 bucks and said, take me to where I want to go. And he does. And yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:59

We Wait, that's he gave excuse me. He gave people money to skip in front of the line.

SPEAKER_00 48:07

Yeah, girl.

SPEAKER_01 48:08

That's crazy. I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_00 48:10

Money talks. Money talks. And we get the Uber home, and we get upstairs, and we're eating our food, and you're so funny. You're so drunk. You're I know you remember the tots.

SPEAKER_01 48:24

I do. They were very fresh and crispy. They were delicious.

SPEAKER_00 48:28

But you had a double cheeseburger and you were falling asleep, and you were like, it's like the burger was a titty. You were like pulsing the titty. Like, oh my god, I still have something in my hand.

SPEAKER_01 48:39

This isn't the first time I've done this.

SPEAKER_00 48:41

And you're like mouthfeeding yourself. And finally you finish your burger, and then you pass out in the bed with the tots and the ketchup packets. And the part that comes next. Um now, Jim's parents do listen to this podcast. Um, I'm going to advise that you skip over maybe the next minute and a half of this session. Oh, we're talking about this part. Okay, okay. Um drinks have been drinking, things have been flowing, leads one thing to another. There was a certain point a long time ago when we stayed at a friend's house in Texas, and we used to do this all the time. Um, and he was like, Hey, you want to do a quickie? I was like, sure. He goes, but takes my pants off, we're doing the thing, and then right before we're actually about to start, he goes, Okay, but what happens if Brandon wakes up and he sees my whole bare ass? I was like, he might actually enjoy that, so it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 49:48

Um, they told me this the next morning. Not even the morning, it was the it was the afternoon. Because we were at lunch and they were like, Hey, do you want to know something? And I'm like, What? And they're like, We fucked in front of you. And I'm like, Alright, well, at least somebody's getting their nut.

SPEAKER_00 50:09

And that he did. It was so funny. After we finished, again, it was like a quickie. I go in the bathroom, take my makeup off, pee, whatever. I come back out snoring. You guys are like symphony. You're like, and he's like, and I'm like, oh, I'm not sleeping tonight. That's great. I go up to him because he has his glasses on still. So I nudge him. I always have to stern him rub him to wake him up because he's a heavy sleeper. So I stern him rub and I just sing million dollar pussy. And he's like chuckles, he goes, Yeah. And I'm like, give me your glasses, Papa. And he gives me his glasses and then he knocks back out.

SPEAKER_02 50:45

God damn.

SPEAKER_00 50:46

He wakes up the next morning, bright-eyed, bushy-chailed. He had the best night ever. He was right rock and roll.

SPEAKER_01 50:52

Well, at least somebody got laid.

SPEAKER_00 50:54

Someone got laid. Sorry, Papa.

SPEAKER_01 50:56

No, it's okay. I wasn't really looking, so that's true. But I will say, I told uh Ashley and uh uh Jimmy Boy, I was like, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 51:06

If I did wake up and I saw y'all fucking, I would immediately be like, I told Jim, I was like, he might start stroking his own dick and be like pretending to sleep, like a stroke dick, stroke dick, stroke dick. Then everyone's gonna get a nut that night. Right, exactly. It's a three for three.

SPEAKER_01 51:25

Honestly, I probably would have just been be like, yo, yeah. Give my headphones and go back to sleep. Get your nuts. I love it so much. Wouldn't have gave a flying fuck.

SPEAKER_00 51:38

Nope.

SPEAKER_01 51:38

Nope.

SPEAKER_00 51:38

And the next morning, I mean, we were fine too. Like, I think we all had a minor headache. Besides Jim, Jim really didn't drink like how Jim would drink.

SPEAKER_02 51:45

Right.

SPEAKER_00 51:46

I think it's because he was he's never been to Missy B's, and he knew that he had not only me, but he had you too.

SPEAKER_02 51:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:52

So he was like literally a bodyguard the whole night to like make sure we got to where we needed to get safely, which appreciate you big Jim. We had Cheesecake Factory, we went some, we did some shopping, and then you went home. We went home as well, but you had an eventful next day.

SPEAKER_01 52:12

I did uh so I went to a Bad Omens in Oklahoma City, such a good fucking concert. It was my first um heavy metal concert on the floor, right? Good god, good god.

SPEAKER_00 52:27

I can only imagine that's a good fucking concert. I loved watching Harris's videos of that.

SPEAKER_01 52:31

Um I actually posted something on TikTok of the opener, and I have like 1,500 likes. Girl, it was crazy.

SPEAKER_00 52:39

Okay, Mr. Viral. I suck at that.

SPEAKER_01 52:45

We do need to start posting on there.

SPEAKER_00 52:46

We do, and you know what's so funny? I told Jim, I was like, because we're already doing PR, we had business cards, we're handing things out, we're talking about our podcast. I said, I want to do some TikToks while we're there. Totally spaced on all of it. Yeah, totally spaced. I had things saved, sound audio saved, didn't do them. But we have opportunities. We still can. We can, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:04

It's not like it all goes away.

SPEAKER_02 53:06

Right.

SPEAKER_00 53:06

Um, so yeah, we too, and you might have to manage that page because I can do Facebook, Instagram, my Snapchat, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 53:13

This is the first time I've ever posted on TikTok.

SPEAKER_00 53:15

And it was great. I it popped up on my for you page. I don't know that that's because we're friends or whatever, but I saw at that I think it does that automatically. Yeah, I did um at that point in time, I think you posted it that day. I saw it maybe the next day, and it had like 200 likes at that point. And I was like, holy shit. Yeah. And like comments too. And I was like, damn, pop off king. You gotta look it up.

SPEAKER_01 53:38

I'm gonna look right now, I'm gonna see. Perfect. Let's look.

SPEAKER_00 53:40

Let's look, girl.

SPEAKER_01 53:41

Let's look.

SPEAKER_00 53:42

Oh while he oh oh oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What you got? Damn that's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 53:56

I love that. But anyways, uh concert was very good. Uh we were packed the fuck in like sardines on the floor because people were pushing their way up. Yeah, which makes sense, right? Um, I've never been in a mosh pit before and girl, mama, the way I was fearing for my life, girl.

SPEAKER_00 54:17

And it doobie like that too. I've only been in one mosh before, and I did not intend to be, and that was scary, scary boots. And that was just not the fucking cotillion. I can't even imagine an OKC. Because what what venue were you at?

SPEAKER_01 54:32

Paycom Center. Fuck. An arena. Fuck. An arena. They were moshing the entire concert. Like between each. So there was uh president and then Beartooth and then Bad Omens.

SPEAKER_00 54:45

Beartooth's fucking dope. I saw them. Um, I went and saw Five Finger Death Punch right before COVID hit. And Bear Tooth was really good. They twerk with him.

SPEAKER_01 54:54

He puts on a performance. He does. And that man is like chiseled. Brother. Chiseled. Brother. He had makeup on, glitter. I was like.

unknown 55:04

T.

SPEAKER_00 55:05

Pop off sis. Pop your pussy.

SPEAKER_01 55:07

I don't know if he's like that, but either way.

SPEAKER_00 55:10

Either way. We love a confident man.

SPEAKER_01 55:13

Right.

SPEAKER_00 55:13

Oh, love it. So you had the better of the Sunday. All I did was eat my cheesecake like a fat ass, and um, Jim and I went and saw Ready or Not Too, which was really good.

SPEAKER_01 55:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:23

But that was it. I loved watching your stuff.

SPEAKER_01 55:26

Um I also got some pretty cool merch. Uh we went to this pop-up uh in the ghetto, I might add. But I got a t-shirt and I got this little they had like mystery boxes. Um I wanted the fucking ghost and I got the spider lady and girl.

SPEAKER_02 55:46

What?

SPEAKER_01 55:48

I should have brought it over. She looks dumb. She looks dumb.

SPEAKER_02 55:53

Does she?

SPEAKER_01 55:54

She looks like her fucking lace front is pulled up and her wig is fucked up.

SPEAKER_00 56:02

I'm gonna have to have you send me a picture when you get home.

SPEAKER_01 56:04

Yeah, I'll send it to you.

SPEAKER_00 56:05

That's so funny.

SPEAKER_01 56:06

But that bitch was$35.

SPEAKER_00 56:09

And that's a mystery box?

SPEAKER_01 56:10

It was a mystery box.

SPEAKER_00 56:11

Uh oh, so what was in it? The bitch with the fucked up lace front.

SPEAKER_01 56:15

Um, there was so there was a Spectre, uh Spider Lady, uh, Ghost. I don't remember the names of them. It was a ghost, um, and then there was.

SPEAKER_00 56:30

If it'll look it up.

SPEAKER_01 56:30

There was two special ones. Yeah. Uh, which was like very rare to get, I guess. Selling them on eBay for$200.

SPEAKER_00 56:38

Fucking Christ. You know what? We're not gonna bitch about 34.

SPEAKER_01 56:41

Oh, okay, here it is. Okay, so this is the bitch I got.

SPEAKER_00 56:45

Uh so that one's her lace front does not look bad.

SPEAKER_01 56:48

I'll show you. I'll show you, bro. I'll show you.

SPEAKER_00 56:51

You got the fucked up one, okay.

SPEAKER_01 56:52

Uh Button Man, and then there was two like secret ones. Okay, and then the ghost and then the specter.

SPEAKER_00 56:57

Dope.

SPEAKER_01 56:58

I wouldn't I would have been fine with the specter or the ghost. Yeah. Or the secret.

SPEAKER_00 57:02

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 57:02

But I got this bitch with the fucked up front with the with the fucked up.

SPEAKER_00 57:06

Lace front. Right. That part. I'm sorry, babe.

SPEAKER_01 57:10

It's fine. I knew I shouldn't have done that. I should have just got the shirt, but it's whatever.

SPEAKER_00 57:14

It's whatever. It's a memory and it's a lesson learned.

SPEAKER_01 57:17

I got I did get a cool sticker out of it though. It has a ghost.

SPEAKER_00 57:21

So you kind of got a ghost.

SPEAKER_01 57:22

It's on my iPad.

SPEAKER_00 57:24

Of course it is, bitch.

SPEAKER_01 57:26

Because I wanted the ghost to hang up in my car.

SPEAKER_00 57:28

Womp womp.

SPEAKER_01 57:28

It's fine. I'll just kill myself.

SPEAKER_00 57:30

Oh my goodness I'm actually, you know what? Kirby sock vacation.

SPEAKER_01 57:34

I'm gonna spit it out. I know I'm trying to think of what I'm trying to say. So you know, like on credit cards where you can dispute transactions and be like, that wasn't me.

SPEAKER_00 57:45

Shut up. Shut up. Well, because you didn't get the ghost. Yeah. Bad omens is gonna listen to this and be like, fuck that guy. Fuck that.

SPEAKER_01 57:59

Uh, but no, very good concert. I would love to go see them again for sure.

SPEAKER_00 58:03

Perfect. You want to know a concert I want to go see really bad? Have you heard of the Wind Walkers? I'm gonna show you a couple songs. I'm gonna show you a couple songs. I bet you have. Um they're touring this year, and I need to look up when where and when and why. Because I'd love to go see them. I think you'd think that's a dope concert.

SPEAKER_01 58:19

Do you know who else we should go see? We should go see Doja Cat in Kansas City.

SPEAKER_00 58:24

When is she going to Kansas City?

SPEAKER_01 58:26

October.

SPEAKER_00 58:27

October will be a very busy month for me, you know that, right? For us, since you just invited yourself to Gattensburg. Okay, let's go, bro. You said, period. Save up. Right. We have all year.

SPEAKER_01 58:39

Not all year.

SPEAKER_00 58:40

Well, kind of. Five months overtake, right? Seven? Seven months.

SPEAKER_01 58:44

I don't think her tickets are that expensive.

SPEAKER_00 58:46

You don't think so?

SPEAKER_01 58:47

I'd love to see her though.

SPEAKER_00 58:48

Yeah. She'd be a good concert.

SPEAKER_01 58:51

She's a good performer.

SPEAKER_00 58:52

She's a little crazy. She'll look crazy, boots. She needs a little trip to the nut house, I think.

SPEAKER_01 58:56

Me too.

SPEAKER_00 58:57

Right. Y'all can share a room. Another another trip. Another drunken memory, and Casey has been locked and sealed.

SPEAKER_01 59:05

Hell yeah, brother. Now I'm ready for Tulsa and May.

SPEAKER_00 59:11

We are booked and busy this year, like I said earlier.

SPEAKER_01 59:14

These bitches wish they were us.

SPEAKER_00 59:16

I'm telling you, that part. We're literally doing it all for the plot.

SPEAKER_01 59:20

You know, we're talking about that next week. I don't care what you say, I'm Brandon.

SPEAKER_00 59:24

And I'm Ashley. And this is technically.