Committed Technically

Brains...But Make It Cinema

Ashley & Brandon Season 1 Episode 16

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0:00 | 26:56

It's time to grab your baseball bats and lock the doors Committed Gang! In this episode, we're diving headfirst into the undead hordes to break down our absolute favorite zombie movies. From fast-runners to classic slow-shufflers, we discuss what truly makes a zombie movie worth watching. 

So, sit back, stay alert, and remember to also double tap the undead in the head. Let's chat, yap, and hopefully survive this episode!

Distribution: Buzzsprout

Editing and Production: Riverside.FM Studios

Music: "Good Things Take Time" by Otto.mp3 and Upbeat

SPEAKER_00

Hi, um. I already have an open beer, so yeah, brother. It was not crispy.

SPEAKER_02

I hate that.

SPEAKER_00

It feels weird.

SPEAKER_02

It feels weird not starting with a beer crack.

SPEAKER_00

What the fuck? Well, all right. Next time.

SPEAKER_02

Anyways, to the next week for uh an actual official beer crack.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_02

What was that?

SPEAKER_00

What is that?

SPEAKER_06

If you can hear us, great. You're live. Bad news? Ooh, Mama, so are they?

SPEAKER_00

We are broadcasting live during the apocalypse because apparently Rock Bottom still has Wi-Fi.

SPEAKER_06

Unlike your survival instincts. Ooh, teaching. Those have been on airplay mode since birth.

SPEAKER_00

There it is again. Exposing which ones would cap your ass. Welcome, bitches.

SPEAKER_06

Welcome, bitches. We are in the zombie apocalypse. Talking zombies, talking all the things. This is right up your alley.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_06

And you actually drafted this episode, and you're so excited for it. I can just see it all on your smug shit smile, look on your face.

SPEAKER_00

I love zombie movies. I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_06

Okay, so as a zombie movie expert, what makes a good zombie movie? In your opinion?

SPEAKER_00

Um, so I wrote a couple things down. Fast versus slow zombies. Oh, right. Um, so like fast zombies being like 28 days later, World War Z, train to Busan, train the train to Busan, Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_02

To your Buddha.

SPEAKER_00

I'm leaving. Let's take a break. The train to Busan. Jesus Christ. Um, and then versus like slow zombies, which is like The Walking Dead, The Walking Dead, Zombie Land, Warm Bodies, etc. Another thing is infection, infection rules. So, like, is it bite? Is it airborne? Is it the vibes of the zombies? So interesting. Stuff like that. Okay. And then do we think that slow zombies are actually scarier? Are they giving like Jimir mindful?

SPEAKER_06

Ooh, you know what? This is where people, and I've talked to you about this before we started recording. I said, I'm not a big zombie person. Like a zombie movie comes out, unless it's more horror-based. Like 28 years later when that came out, I was really excited to go see that. Um it's just not my vibe, it's not my cup of tea. But here's where I like to argue is it a zombie movie or is it a post-apocalyptic movie with zombie bases in it as the antagonist?

SPEAKER_00

So that's a good point. Right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Um I personally, when I think of a zombie movie, I'm gonna think of slow zombies very demure, um, very OG, very walking dead, because they're dead, so when they come back alive, in my opinion, I don't think that a true zombie comes back ready to rage bait your ass with like 60 mile per hour cheetah speed.

SPEAKER_00

Not the rage bait.

SPEAKER_06

The rage bait. When I I think of like post-apocalyptic, like 28 days later, weeks, years, um, that's more set in like bitch. That's not a zombie. That's something that happened where humans infected someone else, and that's like genetic.

SPEAKER_07

True.

SPEAKER_06

And that's not like I'm dead in a bag. That's like something that was done human to human. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. That's a good point. I like that.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Jim's gonna hate this episode.

SPEAKER_00

Why?

SPEAKER_06

Because he's gonna want you to disagree with me so bad.

SPEAKER_00

I know. You said that earlier.

SPEAKER_06

I was like, why? You said it's a good point. He goes, No, I'm not! Don't agree with her. Um, so yeah, I think that's kind of my stance on it. OG is zombie, I think it's slow. I like the Jim Yore. Give me some time. Girl, I'm not fast. I'm a sprinter and a runner.

SPEAKER_00

So I think we're actually we're gonna get into it. Because I I uh I have a little section in here that I wrote. And we're gonna talk about do we think we would survive?

SPEAKER_06

Oh fuck, no.

SPEAKER_00

Depending on depending on the movie and like the zombie universe.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, okay, perfect. Yeah, maybe we'll see. So okay. So if we're talking zombie movies, I know again, this is more up your alley, so I'm kind of gonna pick you back. So I have some, but no, you got like the rooter to the tutor of zombie movies.

SPEAKER_00

I kind of want to hear yours first.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, okay. Yeah, okay, so zombie movies. If we're truly talking, in my opinion, a zombie movie, zombie land.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. That's one of my that's one of mine.

SPEAKER_06

Okay. Yeah. Um, to me, that's true. Zombie movie. Because they're slow, you have to shoot them in the head. I feel like that's a true zombie like trait. You have to double tap the head. Um I love that movie to me, and it's funny. Unfortunately, besides The Walking Dead, I think a lot of true zombie movies are made out to be comedies.

SPEAKER_00

Zombieland is actually not uh rated as a as a comedy? No, as a uh like a horror movie. Really? It's based on a comedy.

SPEAKER_06

See?

SPEAKER_00

To me, I feel like that's kind of it is a very good zombie movie.

SPEAKER_06

It is a good zombie movie. I feel like the only zombie thing that's to me, again, my opinion, don't come for me, that's not rated like as a comedy is The Walking Dead, because to me those are real zombies.

SPEAKER_00

Those are a different type of zombie. Really? For sure. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Um now, if we're going Ashley's version of post-apopalyptic, I love the 28 series. I love days, weeks, um, years, and then uh even the kind of like tail spin-off of the um shit, the 28 years later, the the bone temple.

SPEAKER_00

I didn't like that one. Why? There was no fucking zombies in it.

SPEAKER_06

Uh but girl, it's just a backstory.

unknown

It was dumb.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, there were a couple, but like I don't know.

SPEAKER_06

Not to really tickle your pickle.

SPEAKER_00

Not really. I mean, compared to like the other movies, you know.

SPEAKER_06

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00

Where it's just like you have the rage virus and it's fucking aggressive. It's in your face. Yeah. Zombies tearing your ass up.

SPEAKER_05

Girl.

SPEAKER_00

See chasing you and doing all kinds of things with you. Eating your ass and uh oh literally.

SPEAKER_04

Literally, yeah, literally eating your ass. Like you don't know if you're like you should like, ah, you should be like, uh, you know.

SPEAKER_06

Sorry, Bob.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I'm not sorry anymore.

SPEAKER_06

We're not sorry, mama.

SPEAKER_00

You already know what you got into.

SPEAKER_06

So popper, popper.

SPEAKER_00

Do you want one?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, thank you. Ugh. A M S M N N N R. Okay, again. What the fuck was that? Uh you know I can't say that that four letters. One more time.

SPEAKER_00

A-S-M-R. Oh my god, you're fucking A S M N R. A-S-M-N-R.

SPEAKER_03

It's the M-N.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, wait, A-S-M-R. A-S-M-R.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I still can't do it.

SPEAKER_00

You fucked me up a little bit. I know. Shit, bro.

SPEAKER_06

Womp womp. Uh okay, so post-apocalyptic, this is Ashley's version. Zombies, Zombieland, Walking Dead. Post-apoplyptic, 28 days, weeks, years. Anything that has to do with what life is like afterwards, not during. So something like 28 days later, if you don't know the premise, to 28 days later, this guy wakes up from a coma and he's in this hospital and he walks around and he goes, What the fuck happened? He doesn't know that there was a virus that spread. That's another thing. It's a virus that infected all of London. And he's just walking around like, yo, what happened? Like, how long was I fucking out for? And it feels very post-apoptyptic.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Like I am legend. Are those zombies?

SPEAKER_04

Ooh.

SPEAKER_06

Because that's post-apoptyptic, but they have the same traits as the 28 days, years later.

SPEAKER_00

That's true. They don't they just bite you and then they go, basically.

SPEAKER_06

Hello. Hello. Am I wrong now, Jim? Am I wrong now?

SPEAKER_00

Damn. Not you called him out.

SPEAKER_06

Call him out right here on the podcast.

SPEAKER_00

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_06

He's gonna come in and on the next episode be like, I have to state my fucking case. So that's kind of where I find the tip scale of that. Love those movies. Love the comedy of Zombie Land. I wasn't a fan of Warm Bodies. I feel like that was too cheesy for me. I know that's one of your favorites. A jaw on floor.

SPEAKER_00

Shut the fuck up. I mean, it wasn't like a regular zombie movie, but it was it was cute.

SPEAKER_06

I don't like rom-coms.

SPEAKER_00

It was cute, bitch.

SPEAKER_06

I'm not a girly girl like that. I don't, I can't, it makes me want to be goked and gagged.

SPEAKER_00

This is like a hot take for you. It is. It is, and it's crazy. I disagree with my whole pussy.

SPEAKER_02

The whole boy pussy is disagreeing with the whole pussy. Stop saying that. With the whole girl pussy. Our pussies are fighting.

SPEAKER_00

I hate when you said that.

SPEAKER_06

I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry. I know you're not. Okay. Sorry. Go for it. What's yours?

SPEAKER_00

Um, so kind of like what you said, um, zombieland one and two. Um, I prefer two over one just because they have different kinds of zombies. Yeah. Um, so just for shits and giggles, they have homers, which are the the dumb, slow zombies.

SPEAKER_05

That'd be me as a zombie.

SPEAKER_00

You'd be a homer.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, 100%.

SPEAKER_00

Really?

SPEAKER_05

I think so. Well, give me the other ones. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

And then there's see the homers, you got the ninjas, which are the stealthy zombies, and they basically pounce on you, and you don't even fucking see it coming.

SPEAKER_06

That couldn't be me, because one, I got this big ass, and and you can hear me walking.

SPEAKER_00

And I can't ass is very, very volumptuous and very juicy.

SPEAKER_06

Thank you, girl.

SPEAKER_00

Juicy.

SPEAKER_06

And I twist my ankle too often. Like, could you imagine me trying to jump out of a tree?

SPEAKER_00

Like, I feel like I feel like you could do it.

SPEAKER_06

Stealthy?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, girl. You're a zombie.

SPEAKER_06

You believe in me more than I believe in me. I love that.

SPEAKER_00

This is why we're soulmates.

SPEAKER_06

Hello. Hello. If you didn't listen to last week's episode, maybe you should.

SPEAKER_00

Um, so the ninjas, and then you got the Hawkings, which is as in Stephen Hawking, intelligent and also fucking fast.

SPEAKER_07

So But it gets worse. Oh no, go for it.

SPEAKER_00

There's another one. Uh they introduce a new kind of zombie and they call it the T800 for like the Terminator because it's a ninja, it's a Hawking, and it's fucking like it's invincible. It takes it takes a whole fucking like clip to kill them, basically. Because they will not they will not die.

SPEAKER_06

Oh no. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So like that's how Have you seen the second one?

SPEAKER_06

I have not. This is all new to me.

SPEAKER_00

Oh. You should watch it. It's good.

SPEAKER_06

I should.

SPEAKER_00

Should.

SPEAKER_06

Uh that's interesting. Because to me, okay, so the T 800 almost veers into like what I consider like the post-apocalyptic virus zom quote unquote zombie.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. It's it's like uh it's pretty dangerous and interesting. Kind of resilient, so love.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. Okay. What else you got?

SPEAKER_00

Um, let's see here. Train to Busan. Very short. I mean, it's it's a Korean movie. It's very fucking good. Uh if you like dubbed movies, but these zombies are are fucking insane. They are batshit.

SPEAKER_06

I watched a little clip because I swear I've never seen this movie. Jim tried to argue with me and said that I had, that I cried, and I can't remember this. Um I watched a little clip that you showed me before we started recording today, and it was crazy how they contorted their body. And I feel like if I saw that, I'd probably just take the Glock and put it in my mouth.

SPEAKER_00

Oh girl, yeah, no.

SPEAKER_06

Like I couldn't do it.

SPEAKER_00

Absolutely not. I'm going to I'm going with you. Shit. Um, yeah, these zombies are I don't know. I don't I don't think in that universe it's it's not survivable. Yeah. Unless you're very unless you're fast on your feet and you know what the fuck you're doing.

SPEAKER_06

But you've been in this situation a couple times before.

SPEAKER_00

Right. You know, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_06

And when are you ever gonna be on a bullet train in Korea?

SPEAKER_00

With fucking zombies.

SPEAKER_06

With zombies. Hello, that's insane.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Um go ahead and say the one that like we all know that is your top tier.

SPEAKER_00

My favorite fucking zombie movie ever. I literally can't I can quote it. I know you can. I've seen it so many times, and I I just love it. It's my favorite fucking movie ever.

SPEAKER_06

Go ahead and say it.

SPEAKER_00

It's Sean of the Dead.

SPEAKER_06

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00

Sean of the Dead. It's so good.

SPEAKER_06

He has a poster of it. I do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah. Um British uh zombie movie. Um zombies are slow, but definitely survivable, I think. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Um to me classic zombie, kinda.

SPEAKER_00

This one, this show, like there is some gore to it, but there's also like a comedy aspect as well. So it's just a good fucking movie. I love it. It's right up your alley.

SPEAKER_06

It's like you're mixing your two favorite things.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. It's it's a comfort show, actually, for me. I'm not kidding.

SPEAKER_06

It's on the we should have put that on the stem. Was that not on the stem? I think it was on the stem. Did you mention that? Dawn of the Dead? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, absolutely. There you go. So yeah, those are some of my faves. Um, I guess another one I could talk about is Dawn of the Dead. Um, it's American zombies. Slow. Definitely they're slow, but they're violent.

SPEAKER_06

So when they get to you, it's your ass.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and they travel in packs too. So your ass is It's got. It's got. If you're if you're dumb, then yeah. This one is definitely survivable for me. Okay. I think. Um, have you seen this movie?

SPEAKER_06

Dawn of the Dead. No, I haven't. I know. I know. Don't look at me like that.

SPEAKER_00

We're gonna make we're gonna make another another weekend. I'm gonna punch you in the face.

SPEAKER_06

That reminds me of your your vocal stem.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, literally is what you sounded like.

SPEAKER_00

Uh I'm let's take a break.

SPEAKER_05

That could be a break. I could put in a break.

SPEAKER_00

Christ alive. If you were given one weapon, one location, and one zombie universe, which one would it be and why? And do you think you would survive?

SPEAKER_06

Internal screaming. Um golly, I okay. If I was in a zombie apocalypse, one, I probably would like to be somewhere with food resources, with some water resources, with some type of physical combat weapon. Um, rather it's an actual weapon or just something that can be used in place of a weapon. So somewhere probably like shit. Like a I have a Sam's Club membership. It's like Sam's Club, right? Because you have food, water, and then you also have like tools and home building supplies and shit like that. Okay. Um, probably like Walmart would be in like another one. Um something like that. So that's where I know I'd want to be. Weapon. Weapon's tough because weapon would mean for me, if I have to get like technical, do I have like unlimited like rounds? I get what's in my Christ. Um again, I am at a place where I would have other resources.

SPEAKER_00

You could make weapons.

SPEAKER_06

I could make weapons at the Sam's Club. Yeah at the Wally World.

SPEAKER_00

But the Club. The Clurb. The Clurb.

SPEAKER_06

Me and Jim Bob spent $300 at the clerb.

SPEAKER_00

I know, and you got that greasy ass pizza. It wasn't it looks so fucking good.

SPEAKER_06

It was so good. I could eat Sam's Club, like hot dogs and pizza for the rest of my life.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Have you have you had Costco uh pizza and hot dogs before?

SPEAKER_06

I've had a Costco hot dog because I'm a hot dog girl over a pizza girl, but it's very good. It's delicious. Delicious. God, I'm like tr like trailing this on. Um I don't know, bro. I would probably I say some type of gun, but I can't tell you what kind of gun. Um gotta give me something. I know, I gotta give you something. And it always makes me want to do like a um I I don't I don't want a shotgun because I don't want to have to cock it and reload it. Right. Um, give me a give me a Glock with a 30-round clip. Because on 30 rounds I'm hitting some something.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_06

Rather it's them or me.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_05

You know what I mean? Yeah, no, for sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_06

So I get like 29 and I haven't hit shit besides like everything else around the zombie.

unknown

Damn.

SPEAKER_06

Sorry. I hey, this is all just technical. No one flags.

SPEAKER_00

We're not we're not being serious. We're not being serious. Please don't lock us up in the lead event. Thank you.

SPEAKER_06

Literally, and then of course, zombie is gonna be what I pre- I think a zombie is, which is a slow zombie.

SPEAKER_00

So okay.

SPEAKER_06

Like a zombie land. One. Yeah. I know those zombies.

SPEAKER_00

That's fair. That's fair. We're gonna make a weekend and we're gonna watch all these fucking movies.

SPEAKER_06

But um, Jim Bob leaves in July. But excuse me. So we can plan for it then. Yeah. You. You. Okay, Una reverse. What you got? You've thought about that. I thought about it. Yeah. Okay, go for it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Okay, so the weapon I'm choosing is a katana.

SPEAKER_06

What the fuck is that?

SPEAKER_00

It's a very sharp, uh, like katana, like in like Mortal Kombat? Yeah, like a sword.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, she's hot.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, because she she doesn't you don't need to go find shit for her. Right. You can keep continuously use her, you can sharpen her.

SPEAKER_06

Okay. They just have to get close enough for you to use it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

That that's what scared me, but saying like a knife.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I mean, the sword's like probably this big. I'd say. So they give you some distance away from them. Per. I also said like a Sams or a Costco.

SPEAKER_06

That's like the smartest move.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, because there's food, water, and you can make fucking other resources.

SPEAKER_06

Right. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Uh the universe, I'd probably choose Sean of the Dead. And or Dawn of the Dead.

SPEAKER_06

Why is that?

SPEAKER_00

Because they're slow. And so they're all yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

So they're kind of like same, same. Same, same. Different.

unknown

Different.

SPEAKER_06

Different. So if so we were together, yeah. Would we survive?

SPEAKER_00

If you were with me, yeah.

SPEAKER_06

I've seen all of these like he said, if you're with me, yes. By yourself, no. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I would agree with you if that's if that's what you really thought, because I don't think I would. I could survive maybe a week. If I'm by myself, maybe a week.

SPEAKER_00

That's fair. After that, brother, I'm I mean, I say that, but I feel like if it actually did happen.

SPEAKER_06

Could you use your katana?

SPEAKER_00

I don't know if I could.

SPEAKER_06

I don't know if you could use my kat.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know. Like I'd actually be shitting my pants because I'm like, what the fuck is happening?

SPEAKER_04

Like, Ashley, Ashley, put in the 30 rounds. Put in the 30 rounds.

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna use my katana and chop my fucking head off, probably.

SPEAKER_06

Literally, well, that's the great thing about my gun is I can just I'm like, we can do it. Like put our heads together and just go all the way through. As long as they're not like hollow point bullets.

SPEAKER_00

It'd have to be like right here in the temple, yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Knowing me, I'd probably like get super scared and like jerk it. It would graze the top of my head and then we'd be out of bullets.

SPEAKER_00

It'd just be some shit. I think we'd be I think we'd survive.

SPEAKER_06

You think so? Yeah. That's very generous of me to say.

SPEAKER_00

Unless we um oft ourselves.

SPEAKER_06

Right.

SPEAKER_00

Which we're not going to do.

SPEAKER_06

No. This is all in. If we were a zombie, yeah, a zombie apocalypse. I know for a fucking fact I would not survive in like I Am Legend.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_06

In like um twenty eight days, weeks, months.

SPEAKER_00

Girl, if a zombie if a zombie apocalypse ever does happen and we get fast zombies, I'm out.

SPEAKER_06

Girl, that's what I'm saying. Unless I continue to like to lose weight and I actually work on my physical self. Again, I am a sprinter no matter what. No matter what size I've ever been, I've always been a sprinter. Um, long distance, like marathon, in my head, I would love to be a marathon runner. Will it ever happen in this lifetime? Fuck no. The best you're getting out of me is a 5k.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I I used to run all the time. Yeah. Um and I could run for 30 minutes continuously. Now though, I'm a big fat bitch.

SPEAKER_06

Absolutely not. Like you said, 30 minutes? 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_00

30 seconds. Exactly, exactly. But it just I guess it just depends on like the universe and where we're at. What kind of zombies we got, sure. And what the resources we have.

SPEAKER_06

Is there anyone in your life that you know what 100% would survive?

SPEAKER_00

I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, most of my family they don't watch horror movies, so I feel like they would But them as people, if it became like if they were fire flying. If they had to do it. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think my mom and my dad would be okay. I think Abby would be okay too. You think so? Maybe. I don't know. I don't think I would be okay. The one who's the most like the most confident, but also and knows the most about them.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. You want to be. I think the only person in my life um who could a hundred percent survive would be my my boyfriend. But it's only because he has military training and he can the top the type of pressure this man can be put under, he can be put under a microscope and someone's thumb can be pressing on the top of his big old head. And he has he's like chill. The amount of pressure he can sustain and accurately execute whatever task he's doing is is honestly scary. So he would be the one I would be like, if I had to be stuck with someone, I love you so much, I would not be stuck with you. Now mindful.

SPEAKER_00

Now we can do like a break.

SPEAKER_06

Now we can like third wheelie it.

SPEAKER_00

Third wheelie. So I was gonna say, you know what, girl, you're right. I'm about to come over here and I'm gonna I'm gonna third wheel with y'all.

SPEAKER_06

I'm telling you, I and we would let it happen.

SPEAKER_00

Papa Jim's gonna take care of us.

SPEAKER_04

I love it. Papa Jim, take care of your babies.

SPEAKER_01

He would be like, go to bedroom, put on you a little show. Yep. And then he'll go take care of business. Yep.

SPEAKER_06

Taking care of business. Oh my god. Every day.

SPEAKER_00

So, anyways, should we um should we wrap up? We should wrap it up. Okay. Go for it, girl. If this is our last episode.

SPEAKER_06

It will be, because you can't lock the door.

SPEAKER_00

If you find this recording, tell people I was the smart one.

SPEAKER_06

You brought a katana to Costco.

SPEAKER_00

It made sense at the time.

SPEAKER_06

Anyways, thanks for listening. Make sure to subscribe, share, and follow. I'm Ashley.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm Brandon. And this is Committee Technically.

SPEAKER_06

Okay, but