Drawing The Line: Friendships, Feeds, And Protecting Your Peace

Three friends dig into where friendships end and where the feed begins, sharing how we vet, accept, hide, and block to keep peace online and in real life. We weigh reach versus sanity, safety versus sharing, and why some connections are seasonal.

• balancing personal branding with privacy on public profiles
• creating vetting systems for friend requests
• using hide, unfollow, and block as boundary tools
• quality over quantity to beat algorithm noise
• optics of follower counts and perceived credibility
• posting delays for safety and presence in the moment
• recognizing seasons of friendship and clean endings
• unanimous stance on staying connected with exes online

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Transcript

Salty Show Kickoff

Voice Over 0:02

Welcome to the Group Chat Goes Live Slightly Salty Edition, where your three favorite troublemakers turn the chaos of the group text into a full-blown weekly show. We're talking real life, real opinions, and just enough sass to keep things interesting. No filters, no perfection. Just three women with big personalities, bold stories, and a habit of saying the quiet parts out loud. So grab your drink, brace yourself, and join us. Because the group chat didn't just spill the tea, it went live. All right, let's kick it

Two Big Topics Laid Out

Voice Over 0:35

off.

Adrianne 0:35

All right, today's topic that we're gonna talk about is it's gonna be two topics. It's gonna be about friendships, some that come and go, and when is it okay to cut that friendship off? And then social media. Why are we so you're a girl? And why are we so afraid to just end and block relationships on social media? Those are our top two topics today.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

I feel you need to talk first because the last episode, her and I never shut up.

Adrianne 1:07

I agree.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Wow, we didn't. I felt like it was the Carrie Ann and Adrienne show, and you just said, yeah. That's all I had. I don't know. I I struggle with this. Well, okay, so your world is social media. Yeah. So you see that from all aspects, including personal.

Leanna 1:27

Yeah.

Accepting Vs Vetting Friends

Leanna 1:28

I think for me, I don't want to offend anybody by not friending them on social media. But there's a lot of people that I don't necessarily want in my world. I don't need somebody that I met at a conference five years ago knowing what my grandbaby is doing, or you know, that type of thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

It's hard because a lot of our businesses are personal. Yeah. And like I know for me, I have to keep my personal Facebook aligned with my business because of the nature of what we do, people want to know who I am. Yeah. So that is a balancing act of you know, how do I do that? How do I keep my Facebook page personal but a business? I mean, I know you guys know Brian and I had a moment about Facebook because I was if I saw somebody that friended me and I saw that they knew my friends, I would be like, Oh, that's okay, except. Yeah. But that's not the way to do it. No. Yes, because then my husband's super protective of me, us, our world. And he was like, Why did you friend that person? Because he knew that person from a while. Yeah. And I said, Well, because that person was friends with my friends, I didn't think it was a big deal. So now we have a new vetting system. What is that?

Leanna 3:04

He has to approve everybody? No, no.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

I have to actually go on and look and see who I'm approving and see if they're actually friends that I trust of friends, get an idea and then accept. Yeah. Which I agree.

Adrianne 3:19

Well, I think you should look at I used to be okay, a mix.

Public Profiles And Boundaries

Adrianne 3:23

When the boys were little and we were in the foster world, my page was private. But when I went to real into real estate full-time, it had to become public. Yes. And so when I changed my page to public, at first I was just accepting everybody. Yes. And people would be like, oh, I have, you know, 3,000, 5,000 friends. I'd be like, what? I don't have that many friends. I gotta start accepting everyone who wanted to be a friend.

SPEAKER_01 3:45

Because it's a potential, it's a potential person that could utilize your services or utilize you or get to know you and go, oh, I want that. That's the thought process.

Adrianne 3:54

Yeah. But then I got to where I'd accept people and then their their comments, their pages, their photos, whatever would pop up on my feed, and then I'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. That is not my clientele, or that is not my type of person. Nothing against whatever, you know, their preference. And so then I got to where I was like, okay, those type of people I just delete. Because I'm like, we really don't have a lot in common. And I don't want that on my feed, or someone following me and then following them because they're like, oh, Adrienne's following them. And then them thinking, what the heck is she doing? So that I do vet now. Yes. I probably have a hundred or two hundred pending at all times because I don't go in there very often.

Trial Follows And Unfriends

Adrianne 4:34

But I like, but I have to go through each person now and I have to see what they're saying and what they've posted. And then sometimes I put them now on a trial basis too. If you're new, I'll give you 30 days in it. If your feed comes up and I have like a weird feeling and I don't like it, then you're gone. Yes.

Leanna 4:48

I have a lot of people that I have unfriended over the last few months that I know I'm never gonna see again and I'm fine with that. But the second something comes into my feed that makes me feel uncomfortable, I now will unfriend as long as I know I'm never, ever, ever gonna see you again.

Adrianne 5:08

Now, if someone makes me uncomfortable and I've known them for years, I now will hide them for 30 days to see what my thoughts are in 30 days.

Hide, Block, Or Let It Go

Leanna 5:20

But 30 days goes fast.

Adrianne 5:21

It does go fast, but I feel like, well, I could hide them again for 30 days.

Leanna 5:24

I'll just keep hiding. But why don't you unfriend them?

Adrianne 5:26

I sometimes I don't unfriend because I feel like some of our stuff we're in a small world. See, and then people get offended, but I also don't know why I care if people get offended if I unfriend them if we're not mixing. Like we're it's almost like high school.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

I'm just like block, done, done. Yeah.

Adrianne 5:44

Yeah, I'm not I'm not a big blocker. It takes me a while. I'll hide people first before I officially block you.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

That's too many steps for me. It really is. I can't. But you probably have the healthier way. No, a big part of it is because you, as we know, I'm very emotional and I am literally trying to protect my peace now. So if if if you do not, if you're not in my world and are any part of not protecting my peace, then I don't need to go through a process. I just don't

Protecting Peace As A Policy

SPEAKER_01 6:18

want to see it. I don't want it in my world.

Leanna 6:20

And if someone comes up to you at an event and goes We already talked about this in the world.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

I know, and I want you to share it. Because I would be like, oh my God, how did that happen? That's the real that was the real answer. But that's the real But I just I just I mean, yes.

Leanna 6:39

Thank you for sharing that guy.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

I did, and now I'm gonna get I get in trouble on every podcast because of the things we're doing.

Adrianne 6:45

No, but I'm gonna say a smart thing of you blocking people as I had a coach one time and he was talking about our social media pages, and he's not into like you gotta have 5,000. He was more like the people that you want to work with, know, like, trust you, and you trust them. Yes, that's who you want on your pages. And he said, the more people you have, the people you may really want to know you won't see you because you have too many other people blocking that because they're in your feed, and then if you happen to like or comment, now you're in their feed or something. And so the true people that you want to know you can get lost and you can lose them because you're too busy with stuff.

SPEAKER_01 7:26

Because all of a sudden it's like I'll see two days later that somebody that I really care about had something going on. And I think that we think that those people we see all the time, but whatever the algorithm, whatever that is, doesn't always show that. Yeah. I agree. I think less can be more, but I also think that I got caught up in that whole growth period

Algorithms And Quality Over Quantity

SPEAKER_01 7:50

of really trying to get out there and have people know truly know me, not just what I say, but see my family and the people I love and like see that this is really not just something I do for a living, that this is my life of what I do, and it's in my life. And but yeah, you you get to that point where it gets very overwhelming.

Leanna 8:16

For sure. But I was just gonna say, so from coming from a marketing world in a social media world, right or wrong, good or bad, people do equate the number of friends and followers you have with your certain level of success perceived. It could be total bullshit, right? You could have bought the likes, you could have bought the friends, you could have never met anybody, but your stats look really good, right? There's a subconscious thing that people want to connect. So from a business perspective, if you only have 80 people, right? I don't know if I want you selling my house. Like I need to know that

The Numbers Game And Credibility

Leanna 8:56

everybody else wants you to sell their house. Yeah, that's true. And now you can sell mine, right? Yeah, and I think that there is a business aspect of it for people who do run their own businesses, right? I don't know if I'm gonna trust you to place my parents if you've got five followers. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Or even just like everyday people that might not own their own businesses. Everybody has different social media TikToks than this, and they're like, you know, cooking up stuff and decorating things and have all these followers. Like, nobody just has social media anymore. No. I don't care if you don't own your own business. I've met people where they're like, oh, do you follow me? And I'm like, on what? For what? I didn't know.

Adrianne 9:37

I feel like that's bad. I'm more like that now that people will ask me for a business card in meetings, and I'm like, no, follow me on you know, social. Because when I'm not gonna save a business card, I just won't. I mean, it'll be in my car somewhere. And then two, that's how I get to see who they are. Because If they send me a friend, and then I will start following their social and kind of see who they are before I'm setting up a one-to-one or doing like I do tend to use social that way. But then again, if I feel like we're not a fit,

Using Social To Prequalify People

Adrianne 10:06

then you know, we just unfollow.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Well, we're all by nature little social media stalkers. I mean, if if anybody tells you they are not, they're absolutely fibbing.

Leanna 10:16

And thank goodness you can't see who's been on what pages. Because I feel like, why are you on my cousin's ex-brother-in-law's mom's page? And I'm like, well.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

I'm doing a deep dive.

Leanna 10:28

Well, there was an argument over here that these two people that I don't know were having, and it didn't get resolved. So I needed to see. And you just you go down a rubber. Like, you give me something, some information, I'm gonna figure it out. But, you know, it's one of those things that more and more I'm hearing people say, I'm protecting my peace. Yeah. We say it, I've heard I've heard it at least a dozen times in the last two weeks that people say, you know what, I'm protecting my peace. And I think unfortunately, in this political climate, in this, everything on social can be so divisive. Yes. And it's really hard. I'm trying not to laugh because I feel like that was like right in my face.

Adrianne 11:09

I was trying because I was like, do not swap that mat. I can't help it.

Leanna 11:14

Anyways, but

Privacy, Safety, And Posting Later

Leanna 11:15

like it's so divisive that people feel I don't want you in my space. And being online, if I'm on my page, it does feel like my space. And when people invade that, I just don't know how to deal with it if I don't. I guess I could hide and hide them. Yeah. Block. And then I'll say, I don't know what happened. Carrie Ann had my phone, and you know she doesn't know social media, so she just hits block right away.

Adrianne 11:45

I know. Like, you need to go back and think about why you got blocked.

Leanna 11:49

I mean, it's snugging.

Adrianne 11:50

I could not imagine.

Leanna 11:51

That was a mom voice. I talk such trash, but I'm so non-confrontational. Not at all.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

You are not. You and I can tell when something's uncomfortable because you look up in the air and way off to the side, I'm like, oh boy, something's coming our way. I know. I just think that I mean, social media is a wonderful thing. Yeah. I mean, my husband and I both own two and a half businesses between the two of us. And his business, he does no advertising whatsoever. And but when he posts pictures on Facebook, or if I do, he gets a lot of traction because people have known that he's done this for almost 30 years and they know him, and he's referral-based. And so social media is a huge thing for him. I know it's a huge thing for my team and I, but it also can be very overexposing. And then, like we said, there's it's

Memories Without The Feed

SPEAKER_01 12:46

about protecting your peace. It's a very slippery slope to be in and on because you don't want to not be on it. I don't know how people are not on social media. I guess my head doesn't wrap around that because it's also a way to stay in touch with people.

Voice Over 13:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

I mean, there's so many good things and bad things about it, but I mean, it's an it's a kind of a necessary evil. I mean, I went on a a cruise with the family. We took the family on a cruise and somebody came up and said, Well, you did you guys go on your cruise? I said, Yeah. And they're like, Well, we didn't see anything on social media. And I was like, I know. I was keeping that to me. Yeah. Because I just don't want to post every single thing that we do on social media.

Leanna 13:32

I have to be careful. It's getting a lot better and a lot more relaxed.

When You’re Blocked Or Unfriended

Leanna 13:36

But when Jeff and I first got together, I had the marketing agency, which people were very used to seeing. Here's my everyday, every step.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

Yeah.

Leanna 13:44

And Jeff being in law enforcement, especially with his detectives and all this stuff, you know, he's like, I put a lot of bad people away. I can't have them knowing where my wife is and when she's there. Right. So for a while I couldn't even use our last name. I think it's funny. You can always tell a police wife because it'll always be their first and middle name. Anyone that doesn't have a last name, you're like, something's going on, right? So for a long time, I couldn't even be me. And then I'd have to post after the fact. I could post that I was somewhere after I got home or after we got. And obviously, since he's retired, that's changed a lot. But kind of like you, there's some some memories that I just want to just have and to be in a moment where I'm not, okay, stop, take a picture. Oh, wait, okay, don't take a bite yet. Let me take a picture. Okay, wait, re- I mean, of course, sometimes we have to do that. But in general, there's just certain times. The last few times I think we've done stuff, I come away with it. I'm like, I don't have any pictures. I do a lot of people. But those are the best times.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

For my death reel. What? What is that? Because I'm always the one taking pictures. So I take a lot of pictures because otherwise when I die and you go to do the there's not gonna be a ton of pictures. I have pictures. No pictures of me. Oh, do you you have pictures of me? We do, because we do selfies all the time. And my whole death reel is just gonna be a whole line of selfies. I know. Mine'll be lots of video of talking that means nothing to anyone. Have you ever known that anybody has unfriended you or blocked you?

Adrianne 15:15

Yes. I have had.

Ending Friendships Without Drama

SPEAKER_01 15:17

How did you feel about that? So you know it's- I can't believe that. You have to do it. I know.

Adrianne 15:22

I have had people um when I at first I was blocked, I was like, oh, this is so petty. But it the situation it was, I was like, this is so petty. And then the person who blocked me wanted to come back around and be friends. And I appreciated the apology.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

But I was like, Oh, did they say that they friended you? Unfriended blocked you?

Adrianne 15:44

Yeah, but and apologize for some other things. But I and wanted to like start the relationship over. And I was just more of a I appreciate the apology and forgive, but I'm at a point in life where every time I would think about having that and social and just seeing the person, I got a like a and like stress. And I was like, you know what? That's a sign to me that nope, it that friendship came and went. We were, you know, friends for a reason, and then we we, you know, helped, moved on that. And so I never allowed back into my social world again because I just felt like we were. Yeah, and we were friends for a time. And then I've done that to other, I have blocked people, and I really only block when I after a while, I get a like I just get a feeling where I'm like every time I see it, it doesn't make me happy. Yeah, and I like to live in a happy bubble. And so if I start feeling like it's negative when I see it, then that's to me is my sign of that friendship's

Seasons Of Friendship

Adrianne 16:44

come and gone. And I'm gonna block now and move on because I don't need that in my psyche. And most of the time it starts with something happened in the relationship, and then I start seeing, you know, we're on social, and then I will end it. And just because I think it's time.

Leanna 16:58

Oh, so I had happy hour last week with someone, and we were talking about this exact thing. When a friendship comes to an end, and I think everybody thinks that every friendship is like when you first start being friends with someone, you're like, I can give you a good two years. Like you really just kind of anticipate that it's gonna continue on, right? So when you get to a place where it's not fitting anymore and it doesn't feel comfortable, and you don't want to do the activity or you don't want to see them on social, do you just be quiet? Or do you say, you know what, it's been real, but no thank you. Like, how do you end a friendship?

SPEAKER_01 17:37

Well, don't look at me.

Leanna 17:40

So you're still friends with everybody ever.

Adrianne 17:42

I'm I'm not. I know sometimes you're friends with people that we're no longer friends with for years. We're not friends because of how they treated you, and then we'll see them around you, and then her and I literally are like, We taking them out back? What are we doing here? Why is that person?

SPEAKER_01 17:53

I don't mind I just there's lingering. There's lingering.

Leanna 17:57

No, we don't like people on your behalf. I know that. And so if we could just wrap that up.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

I know. I have to grow up a bit.

Adrianne 18:05

Or go on your phone and be like, I feel like I don't almost think you tell the person.

Social Media As Necessary Evil

Adrianne 18:10

I want to almost say it's like it's like a meme. Is that do you see that one it's with Homer Simpson when he backs into the grass? I mean, that's what I picture. Like if our friendship's no longer it's like sleek, I'm gone now. You don't see me. You don't see me on social and you don't really see me around. Yeah. I'm not I'm not confrontational. I do not like confrontation either.

Leanna 18:33

We talk real big though. Yeah, we do. We'll take him out back. No, we're not.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

I don't mind friend or block anybody unless it is super serious. Like if some if a relationship has just kind of just not as much anymore. Yeah. I mean, and I've had friends where it was very intense. It was for the season and it was wonderful. And I would never not be friends or go out and have a cup of coffee or whatever. I've just, but I think that it's always been mutual that this was a season kind of thing. But I I mean, I

Who Blocked Whom And Why

SPEAKER_01 19:08

don't really unfriend it. That's why I'm either I'm your friend or I've gotten rid of you because I I I friended too many people and I had to go through and do that. That was different. I know better now. But when like I'm just one extreme, like I friend you or you're blocked. And you're blocked is just I do not want to be able to do it.

Leanna 19:28

I cannot imagine what it would take for someone to do to you to block you. Because I know some of the stuff that's happened to you, and you're like, oh, but I still love them.

unknown 19:36

Yeah.

Adrianne 19:36

No, you are the nicest one in our group. For sure. I'm sure that there are people gonna be listening to this who would disagree with you. No, you are always our nicest one. And I I think in friends, when you think of friends, I think we have friends that organically in life you become more than friends. You know, they're practically like I can see you guys part of family. Yeah. You know, so you could block me, but I'm gonna come to your door and be like, why did you block and you need to unblock me? Just give me the phone. I don't know what your problem is. I feel like that's different. But I do think like over years, especially when you're in our type of businesses and we're around so many people, I feel like you build work friendships. Yes. But I'm excited to see people and I love to stay up to date in their families and stuff, but we don't hang out at our houses or happy hours or we might do a couple hobbies, but you know what I mean. Not like fan.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

No, there's a lot of people that my heart really loves that I don't see on a regular basis. And I love social media because then I do get to peek into their worlds and celebrate when things happen because there's just not enough time in the day.

Adrianne 20:39

Yeah, and I just think it organically friends just end up in different pockets. Like two of my closest friends I've known for 40 years and 30, 30, and 40 years, we hardly see each other, but they are family. Like they can come into town or I can fly out and see one of them. Yeah. And it's like we've we might not have talked for a month before we got together, and it's like we've never been separated. And I feel like those type of friendships you're just always gonna have, and then others maybe it's that you helped each other in business or growth or something, and now you're both moving on in your lives and business, and or you and you know, friend people get divorced, may remarried, kids. Like everyone's

Final Lightning Question

Adrianne 21:19

life changes. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

Social media's just changed the narrative of just everyday life. It really has. And then navigating friendships and relationships and you know, blocking and friending and you know, inviting and all of the things that happen. It's just it's a ness I I know in my business, and I think for all of us, it's a necessary evil sometimes that you have to be on top of. That's why I loved having you guys with my social media with the with the businesses, because you took the time to get to know me and us and the business. Business. So when you spoke, we spoke, you spoke. In our business sense, it gave the tone of who we are.

Voice Over 22:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

So that was really helpful. But I don't I know I I don't know if I've ever even looked to see if anybody's blocked me or unfriended me. You can't see.

Leanna 22:19

It doesn't tell you.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

I wouldn't know how to do it anyway. So it doesn't tell you.

Leanna 22:24

You just you think, oh, you know what? I haven't heard from so-and-so in a while. I wonder what they're up to. And then you go to their page and it's like add friend. And you're like, oh, that's why. Or you type in their name and it doesn't exist. And then you're like, oh. At all? Yeah, that's what happens when you block people. They can't see you. They can't even see you exist.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Oh, I didn't know that.

Leanna 22:43

Carrie Ann just went away. And people know you're on social. So if they don't see you, now you know, oh, I must be blocked.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

That's okay. The people I blocked, I'm totally fine with.

Leanna 22:53

Yeah. I will say that right now on here. I'm fine. I think I've blocked most of my kids' exes at some point because they tried to reach out. You know, like just or spam or, you know, stuff like that. Okay. Well. I think we've beat that as a dead horse. I know. I'm gonna ask one question, just a yes or no question, no explanation, just yes or no, and then we can end it. And I want to know what people say in the comments. Can you be friends with exes on social?

Adrianne 23:25

No.

Leanna 23:26

No. Absolutely not.

unknown 23:28

Okay.

Leanna 23:29

That was it. Not everyone feels that way. So I just want to know what other people think.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

They're not married to our husbands.

Adrianne 23:36

I was thinking about something like, have you met my husband? I'd have to block him.

Leanna 23:45

Sweet. Okay, on that, we will see you guys next episode.

Closing And CTA

Voice Over 23:48

And that's a wrap on today's episode of the Group Chat Goes Live, Slightly Salty Edition. If you laughed, cringed, nodded along, or mentally texted your bestie, good. That means we did our job. Make sure you follow, subscribe, and slide into our DMs with your own slightly salty stories. You know we love the chaos. Until next time, keep your group chat spicy and the real world slightly saltier.