Changing How You Look at Your Bank Balance {B'Day Fun D8 Ep 215}

Your banking app shouldn’t feel like a threat, but for so many of us the simple act of checking a bank balance comes with a tight chest, a quick inhale, or a wave of shame. I get it, because I’ve lived it. So I’m taking you into a different way of seeing money, where the number on the screen stops acting like a verdict on your worth and starts acting like feedback you can actually use.

I talk money mindset in a grounded way, starting with the nervous system. Money is “just numbers,” yet it rarely feels neutral because our bodies react to meaning, not math. I share how shifting from judgment to relationship changes everything: when you approach your finances with steadiness instead of criticism, scarcity loosens its grip and clarity shows up. I also explore why money needs to feel safe to expand, and what it looks like to engage with your bank balance regularly without dramatizing it.

Then I go deeper into receiving, especially the ways many women are taught to overgive and downplay what they receive. I unpack money stories from childhood, hustle culture, and even ancestral or generational beliefs that can wire abundance to danger. I also call out coercive coaching sales tactics that push people toward credit cards and loans as “proof” of commitment, and I offer a cleaner, more respectful way to leave decisions with the client.

If you want better financial wellbeing, calmer personal finance habits, and a healthier relationship with money, come listen. Subscribe, share this with a friend who avoids their bank app, and leave a review so more people can find the message. What feeling hits first when you check your balance?

Transcript

Bank Balance Anxiety And Nervous System

Money Is Movement Not Judgment

From Criticism To Collaboration

Money Stories And Inherited Beliefs

Intentional Money Practices And Closing

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Hi everyone, welcome to this episode of Tuesday Talks with Darlene. Before we get started, I would love for you to share, comment, like, subscribe to my beautiful channel, whether it's YouTube, Apple, Spotify, or all of them. I would really appreciate that because it gets the message out there and we want messages that are authentic. Today I'm talking about changing how you look at your bank balance. Yes, that beautiful bank balance, those finances that we don't want to look at. For a lot of people, checking your bank balance can feel charged. It can feel scary or it can feel exciting. You can feel different things on different days. There could be tension before you log in. You might have a quick inhale, or you might even embrace your body. I know because I did this. And what's interesting here is this is all just numbers. But it rarely feels neutral. You you sort of panic sometimes. You wonder what's gonna happen. Even when you've got lots of money in there, you still might have the panic at the tension. Today I want to talk about the relationship that you have with your money, not the strategy, not the spreadsheets, the energy. Because if your bank account was a person, would they feel welcomed by you or constantly judged? Interesting. And I want you to think about your bank balance being a mirror, not a verdict. Sounds a bit strange, doesn't it? But your bank balance is a mirror, a number that reflects a moment in time. It is feedback for you, not your identity, not the identity of your business. When you treat it like proof of your worth, you distort what it's actually showing you. Think about that. Your bank balance isn't your worth, it's a number, it's energy, and your nervous system reacts to meaning, not math. Think about that. When you look at your bank balance, how does your nervous system respond? Is it responding to the numbers or is it responding to what you're saying in your head? If you've tried safety, success or survival to that number, if it's tied to all of that, your body will respond accordingly. Spiritually, money is movement, it flows in seasons. When you freeze a single snapshot and assign it a story, you interrupt that flow. Think about that. When you look at your bank balance every single day, it's just a moment. It's not the overall picture, it is not what is happening in your business. Most people don't relate to money as something that moves, they relate it to something that judges, and you are judging it. You are judging that money. You might be judging it as your worth. Oh, look, you know, I only got a hundred dollars in there today. Guess what? You've got a hundred dollars in there. How exciting is that? And when you look back, you go, oh my goodness, look at the money that's constantly coming in. There might be days that nothing comes in. And those are days to really listen to your body because it will tell you something even more profound, even deeper on those days. And when we've got the scary judge dynamic, because if you only look at your bank account when you're bracing for disappointment, you condition your body to associate money with shame. Now I've learned to open my app with excitement. There are still some times that I open it going, oh, you know, I really there should be money in there. There should have more money in there. Sometimes that still happens. It happens less and less and less now. My business isn't where I want it to be, and I'm okay with that. Because I need to be ready physically, mentally, spiritually, and my nervous system needs to be ready. And then so does my business. We need to be ready together to move forward to grow. And I'm open about where my business is. And as I said, I'm okay with that. It's it's normal. At the moment, I'm studying, which means I have less time for my business. And we've chatted about this. My business and I have chatted, and we're both okay. And when you avoid looking at your money, at your bank account, at your spreadsheets, this creates more anxiety than the actual number itself. Because again, you're associating that with shame. The longer that you avoid checking, the more power you give it. When you approach your bank balance with criticism, this isn't enough. I should be further along. There should be more money in there. You reinforce the scarcity at a subconscious level. Money doesn't respond to panic world, and neither does your nervous system. What happens if you shift the role money plays in your internal world? Let's move from judgment to relationship. Imagine your bank balance, your bank account, as a partner in your life. How would you speak to it? With hostility or with collaboration? Relationships strengthen through attention without aggression. Think about the relationships that you have in your life now. How do they strengthen? Let's do the same thing with your money, with your bank accounts. You might hear I'm getting quite firm about this. I want you to look at your bank accounts on a regular basis, calmly, and without dramatizing. This builds steadiness. This helps your nervous system be calm. Abundance will expand when it feels safe. When you feel safe, when your business feels safe, when your money feels safe, then you are abundant, and this abundance will grow and grow and grow. If every interaction that you have with money is loaded with a disappointment, you create contraction around that receiving. Now, as a woman, and I'm talking about me personally, I'm not talking about anyone else, because I was taught in counseling, we only speak for ourselves, and that's what I'm doing. I was brought up, I knew nothing about money, I knew nothing, and I knew nothing about receiving. I was taught that we give, give, give, give, give. Women are taught to overgive, to give to everyone else but themselves. They always put themselves last. I had to learn how to receive. And this is what this is about. It's about you receiving money. How do you receive it? Do you sort of receive it like, oh yeah, yeah, thank you. Yeah, that's yeah, that's kind of great. Or do you go, wow? Thank you so much, business. Thank you so much, universe, thank you so much, client, for this. I'm so grateful. I'm so abundant. Change the way you receive. Change the way you receive money. This isn't magical thinking, it's not, it is energetic congruence. When you, your business, your mind, your body, your spirit, and everything is working together energetically, it's amazing. There's so much alignment. Remember that your internal affects your external behavior from within to without, as above, so below. It's a saying for a reason. Whatever you are feeling and knowing inside, thinking, that is what you are going to see in the external world. The more that you form a relationship with your money, a relationship that is beautiful, that is amazing, that is abundant. The more that you're going to see that in the external world. Now, where I live, people claim it's one of those suburbs you don't want to live in, you know, blah, blah, blah. Guess what? I don't listen to that. I've even had family go, oh, you live there. Guess what? I look around and I see so much abundance because I'm looking for it. I look at the grass and how green it is. I look at all the beautiful houses down the street going, wow, look at those houses. Neighbours are beautiful because I look for it. When I go for a walk to the shops, guess what? I normally have a fantastic time, depending on my mood, of course. But normally I go in there and have no trouble. I don't see abuse, I don't see any violence or anything. Because what is happening in here is affecting my external world. And once you soften the judgment around money, you can start looking deeper at where some of these reactions begin. Is it money stories that your parents told you? Is it things that you've heard from coaches? Is it things that you've seen online? This hustle culture is such a detriment to, especially me. It was a detriment to me because not only did I have the money stories growing up, I then had the stories about women not receiving. We don't receive, we always give. I had all of those. And I've learnt through so much work of what feels beautiful for me in relation to my money. And we've also got the ancestral and energetic imprinting. I've touched on that. You inherited beliefs about money long before you earned it. Scarcity, hustle, guilt, secrecy. These patterns often travel genetically and generationally. Our DNA carries generations of information. It is scientifically proven. I'm not making this stuff up. You can go and research it. Every single cell carries DNA of generations. We are carrying DNA of beliefs of everything of our families and not just one side of the family, both sides of the family. So depending on what they believed about money, that is what we are carrying. And if your family equated money with stress, power struggles, instability, then your body may still associate higher income with danger. Something to think about. Energetically, repetition becomes imprint. The stories told around the dinner table shaped how safe abundance feels in your system. How does abundance feel in your system? How does your business feel about abundance? Because it has an energy. You birthed it, you gave it energy, you continually give it energy, you grow it. How does it feel? And I want you to realize this doesn't mean that you're doomed to repeat whatever you've heard or what your parents believed, etc. It means awareness is required to shift it. And this episode is the awareness. It is one part of the awareness. When you recognize that money carries history, you stop personalizing every reaction and you start working with it consciously. You move from the subconscious to the conscious because of that awareness. And remember, money is energy, not just currency. Remember, money is not an old thing. Yes, money was around sort of with Egyptians. Think before that though. Money's relatively new. We didn't have money before a certain time. Think about that. Money is stored decision-making power. It's neutral until you project meaning onto it. Every decision you've made has brought you to that bank balance. What decisions are you going to make now from this awareness? When you treat money as scarce, it feels tense. When you treat it as collaborative, it feels responsive. Your energy influences how you make, keep, and circulate that money. And yes, we do need to circulate it. We give money a purpose. Even if that purpose is, okay, this money is going away to buy a car or a house or for a holiday. You are giving that money purpose, even if you're putting it away for something else. It needs a purpose. And gratitude shifts perception. Not this forced gratitude that you can see out there, but acknowledgement. Now, whenever I go to the shops and I look at my receipt and it says you save this much, I just go, thank you. Thank you so much for that. I am so grateful that I've saved that money. It means I can spend that money on something else. That's not force, that is me being, and I'm getting teary, me being so grateful that I've saved money. It is truly a beautiful thing, this gratitude. The more I do it, the more I feel abundant. And this spiritual maturity with money isn't pretending that everything is abundant, it's engaging with what is present without fear. And when your internal posture shifts, your behavior follows. Isn't that awesome? Now I want you to also look at practicing digital and energetic clean cleanliness with money. I want you to check your bank balance intentionally, not impulsively. Choose calm moments, not emotionally charged ones. When you go to check your bank balance, be intentional about it and set yourself up first before you check it. Ground yourself, so make sure you're 100% within your body. Make sure you're feeling calm and collected. And have a look at your thoughts. What is going on with your thoughts? Talk to them before you open that bank balance. And I want you to speak neutrally or constructively about your finances because the language that you use reinforces the identity you're building. What identity do you want to build around money, around your business? And make small aligned financial decisions consistently. What decisions are you going to make every single day? Because this relationship is built through regular contact, not grand gestures. When your money feels like a partner instead of a threat, you make clearer decisions, you stop reacting and you start directing. Because guess what? Your life is a movie. You are the director. How do you want this movie to go? Now, if your bank balance has felt like something you avoid, judge, or fear, that is not a character flaw. It's a relationship dynamic. And this relationship can change because you now have the awareness. Remember, the relationship can change. Money doesn't need to be worshipped, and in fact, that can be actually detrimental. It doesn't need to be demonized as well. It needs to be engaged with. Talk to it. Write down things about it. Work through those beliefs, stories, and patterns that not only have you taught yourself, but that you collected from your ancestors, from people around you, from coaches. I mean, some of the things that I've heard coaches say to people, well, you know, if you really want this program, you'll take out a credit card or a loan. Like when I hear things like that, I just I get so angry. Because that person doesn't care about their client. All they care about is money. When you really care about your clients, you'll say, This is the program I've got, this is how much it is. I'm going to leave you with it. Is it okay if I call you in two days to see how you're going? Leave the decision with the client. Don't tell them that they don't want success because they don't want to do your program. Don't tell them that the only way they're going to succeed is if they take out a loan and work with you or get a credit card. Don't tell them that they don't need to talk to their partner because you know that's just the wrong thing to do. Obviously, you can't make decisions. Don't worry about any of that. Because when you move from tracking numbers to building this relationship, something shifts internally. There's less bracing, less tension, and there's more steadiness, more clarity. And from that place, abundance doesn't feel like something you're chasing. It feels like something that you're learning to work with. And how beautiful is that! Thank you so much for watching and listening, and I'll see you on the next episode.