Dealing with the “Shoulds.” Boundaries for Family and Friends {Ep 229}

Everyone has an opinion when you start a business and somehow they get louder the moment you begin to succeed. I'm talking about the endless “shoulds” that come from family, friends, and people who mean well but aren’t building what you’re building and how that noise can drag you into second guessing, overexplaining, and changing your work just to keep the peace. 

I share simple, real world boundary setting for small business owners. Why the people closest to you are often not your ideal client, how to stop taking business advice from people who don’t run a business, and how to handle the awkward stuff like discount requests and “quick favours” without shrinking your prices or your standards. If you’ve ever felt pressured to justify your decisions, this is your reminder that “thanks” is a full sentence. 

I also get into dealing with criticism and online negativity, including opinions about using AI in business. You don’t need to convince everyone. You can curate your space, block what drains you, and keep your business identity from taking over every social moment. The goal is confidence, clearer decisions, and a healthier work life balance so you can build without burnout. 

If this helps, subscribe, share it with a business friend, and leave a review so more people can drop the “shoulds” and build with joy.

Transcript

Welcome And The “Shoulds” Problem

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi every everyone, excuse me, and welcome to this episode of Chus A Talks with Darlene. Today, this episode is about dealing with shoulds. Excuse me. And setting boundaries for family and friends. Now, before we start, I would love for you to like, share, comment, and whatever it is that you actually do, subscribe. Forgot about that one. Because it helps to get the message out there. And I really do want my message to get out there to help people. That's what it's all about. I'm about the awareness. Now, when you're building a business, everyone seems to have an opinion. And even if when not if excuse me for saying that, even when you're successful, people are still going to have an opinion. An opinion about everything. And family, friends, people who mean well. Suddenly, everyone has advice about what you should be doing, how you should be doing it, and what you could be doing differently. And quite frankly, it is a pain in the rear end. It gets annoying. And when you're not careful, you actually start carrying all that. You start second guessing yourself. You start feeling like you actually need to

Family Advice Isn’t Business Advice

SPEAKER_00 1:18

explain, justify, or even adjust what you're doing to keep the peace. And this episode is about letting go of all the shoulds and keeping your space clear so your business doesn't get pulled into everyone else's opinions. And the first thing I want to say is your family, friends, and other people are most likely not your ideal client. Don't take advice from them. Don't do it. And I want you also to realize you don't have to shrink your work for people close to you. People who genuinely respect what you do won't ask you to lower your prices or give things away for free. They treat it like real work because it is.

Pricing Boundaries And Free Favors

SPEAKER_00 2:53

Or treating your work seriously, even if people around you don't fully understand it yet. Because if someone keeps expecting discounts, free help, or just a quick favor, you're actually allowed to say no without turning it into a big explanation. Your work is still your work, even when you're talking to people who've known you for a long time. Your family and friends, when they respect you, they will not ask for any of that crap. And if they do, turn around and go, does woolies do this? Does Kohl's do this? Or whatever you know, big companies are out there. They don't do the same thing for family and friends. They don't give things away. No, they don't. They expect their family and friends to go in and buy from them so they can support their business. That is what your family and friends should be doing. They don't have to buy from you, but they can support you in many ways, whether that's intellectually, emotionally, maybe even physically, or buying from you. They may want to refer. Ask them for those. If they don't do it, that's okay as well. You know, I'm I do get annoyed. I've got on Facebook, I've got what, nearly 570 friends or something. Not, you know, not friends in the way that are close, close friends. I'm lucky if one person does anything whatsoever. That I feel is just yeah. Anyway, I just feel it's wrong. You know, you don't have to buy from me to support me and get the words out there, which is why I ask that you like, subscribe, share, comment, whatever it is that you can do, because I want my message out there. And remember that once you start bending your work to keep others comfortable, you start to see how often advice starts showing up where it wasn't asked for. Tell people, if you feel it's right, you can also tell people where to stick their opinions and their advice, especially those that don't even have a business. Because a lot of that advice comes from fear of other people. They have wanted to leave a job and start a business, or they've wanted to do whatever you're doing, and they don't have the courage. So they come up with advice. Oh, you should be doing that, you should be doing this. Well, do you have a business? No.

Unasked Opinions And The AI Debate

SPEAKER_00 5:20

Then thank you, but I won't take notice of you. And you can also say, I have a business coach, that is who I take advice from. You can be strong and you can tell people, no, I don't want to hear it. Or you can just say, Thank you, and just leave it at that. Remember, you don't have to take on every opinion that comes your way. Not everyone needs to agree with how you're doing things. They also don't need to be convinced. Now, I use AI in different ways. There are people out there that say, excuse me, that will say, I will not work with a business that uses AI. Now, I don't use it as much anymore as I used to. That comes from me creating my own art. I want to I like AI, and some of the stuff, you know, is really helpful, and others just isn't. A lot of it's very generic, and that's you know the problem that AI has, it's very generic. That's why this episode needed to get out there. Because, you know, you don't need to convince people. If you use AI in your business, then if you feel right about it, then that's fine. If you don't use it, that's fine as well. When people turn around and tell you something, just simply, you know, you can simply say thanks for that, because that is enough, especially for those that give you advice that you didn't even ask for. Now, if you ask for it, that's different. Be aware though, if you're asking from for advice from family, friends, etc., that don't even have a business, you're gonna get yourself into trouble. And I will be blunt about that. You will get yourself into trouble. They know nothing about business, they don't know anything. So don't take advice from them. Don't ask for advice. Seek advice from people that know. Remember, you don't need to explain your decisions just to keep everyone comfortable. You can let those comments land without picking them up. Let them land. I have blocked many, many people on Facebook, Instagram, etc. Because I don't need to see those comments. Those comments can bring me down if I let them. I block people. I do it, and I do it with with joy actually, because those people are not my ideal client. And even

Let Comments Land Then Let Go

SPEAKER_00 7:55

if I thought they were, if they make comments like that, they're not. When you stop taking everything on, you actually start to notice how much lighter you feel when you don't carry everyone else's input around you. I keep my business and my personal life separate, they are separate. You don't have to bring your business version of yourself into every family or social moment. I don't. When I go out, I don't want to think about my beautiful business. I want to have time for me. That's important. If I don't have time for me, I can lead towards burnout, I can lead towards getting angry with my business. I don't want any of that. You can switch off from it, and I do that. I tell my business, I'm going out to the movies, I'm switching off from you. Leave

Separating Business Life From Home

SPEAKER_00 8:58

me be. I get firm with it, and it's really grateful. You're allowed to just be you without thinking about your business or any decisions you've got to make or what you should be doing next. And you don't need to explain your business identity at every gathering or conversation. Because I can tell you that there's people that are going to go, oh, I should talk about a business again. You don't need to do that. Let it be. There is actually space in your life for both parts of you, and they don't have to overlap all the time. I actually prefer them not to overlap because I think about my business enough as it is. I love my business, which is why I think about it a lot. When you give yourself that separation, you stop feeling like you're always on, even when you're just living your life. And how beautiful is that. Be aware of the advice and just really think about it first. Because I personally think you should only take advice from people like a professional business coach or maybe other businesses around there that actually know what you're doing, that maybe are doing the same thing. You don't need advice every second of the day either. You don't need any of that. Thank you so much for watching and listening. And please let go of the shoulds. Live your life, let your business be, and let your life be filled with joy. Wishing you a beautiful day

Choose Qualified Advice And Close

SPEAKER_00 11:32

wherever you are on this earth.