09 - The Odyssey Pt. 1 : Take The Long Way Homer

This week we're doing an epic Homer's Odyssey . Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey comes out in theater's this week and we felt this was a good time to go over Odysseus' journey. We do eventually plan on doing all the remaining epics connected to Troy (the ones we still have anyway The Iliad and The Aeneid) but with this being more relevant right now we decided why not. Let's chill, burn, and learn about Odysseus' adventure from the battles in Troy to his home in Ithaca. Let's burn thighs for the Gods and hear of the heaps of trouble that await our hero.

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Transcript

Wes 0:34

Sing to me of the man, Muse, a man of twists and turns, driven time and again off course once he had plundered the hallowed heights of Troy. Welcome to the Stone Day Podcast. I'm Wes and today we'll be talking about Homer's The Odyssey. Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey is coming out this week, so I wanted to dive into this one and see how true it stays to the poem. We'll eventually do the Iliad and the Aeneid as well, and I believe in high school English class we talked about the Odyssey and may have even read it. But other than having a vague idea about the story, I wouldn't say I remember very much. We're going to break down all 24 books of the poem, and this is an epic poem, if you didn't know already. And for this research, we use the Robert Fagel's translation of the Odyssey. And let's meet some Greek gods and learn about Odysseus's long journey home. But before we do that, let's light up. Today I'm going to be smoking another joint that I made myself, a cone that I packed. And the the strain and brand is going to be Avenue. Avenue is a top-tier brand, house brand, also I believe of True Leaf. At least from what I could find of it. So I bought a half ounce of this. And I gotta be honest, it's some of the best butt I've had in a while. I mean, just the I'm I'm I'm a pretty big kind of weed snob at times. I mean, I I'll judge it when I'm reviewing my weed, judge it on it how it breaks up, um, you know, how kind of hard it is, how soft it is, if it's too fluffy, if it's too dense, which is a possibility. Even too sticky is a possibility when you're you know rolling it up. I don't want shit all over my hands where it's gonna be like you know, ripping the paper and shit when I'm trying to do it. So, anyway, to me, this is uh top-tier butter here. So the strain is called Mountain Top, Mountain Trop. Sorry, Mountain Trop cookies, and it's crossed with strawberry guava flour. I didn't find a lot about the strain itself. Um, let's see the the one that I have says 23.68% THC. And I smoked one of these joints earlier, um, and it was just just a really nice flavor, really, really fresh flavor to it. I don't know if you can taste color, but it just tastes green to me. So a little bit about Avenue, looking into them. I could not find their headquarters, but on their website it says, When you're a cannabis connoisseur, you want to expand your mind and refine your taste. You want to explore the limits of enjoyment. Explore the limits of Avenue. Our small batch, handcrafted flour, is cultivated to deliver a powerful and unexpected experience. Like your favorite city street, Avenue can always show you something new. All right, and again, they do have flour. They sell all kinds of flour, they sell eights, they sell, I guess, 4.5 grams. Maybe they don't even sell eights, but they do sell quarters, seven grams, and they sell halves. And what I have is a half. And they have some pre-rolls too. I think they're pretty good. So that's what we're gonna be getting into today. And if you want to leave me a comment or send an email, let me know what you're smoking when you're listening to the show. Like I said, this is just really good, bud. So, first, let's talk about what we know about Homer, which isn't too much. The epic poems of Homer, the Iliad and the Odyssey, are thought to have been written down around the mid-8th century BCE. These poems are thought to have been passed around orally until Homer finally wrote them down. Or maybe Homer was a group of men over time. This is also a popular theory. On top of all that, Homer is also for some reason believed to have been deaf and blind, and this poem's long, around 140,000 words. And that is basically all we know about Homer. But these works are attributed to him. And something that just popped up in my burnout brain is isn't this the equivalent of finding an epic poem written by Helen Keller? So let's do it. Book one. Book one starts out by stating all the soldiers have made it home except for one man. He has been held captive on an island by a bewitching nymph, Calypso, who is holding the man to be her husband, but the man doesn't want to be there and longs to be home. Ithaca. While this was happening, the Greek gods are looking down with pity from Mount Olympus, except for one god, Poseidon. Poseidon was gone at the moment, a world away in Ethiopia, to receive

The Meat

Wes 5:25

his offerings of bulls and rams. Alright, and the Ethiopian thing, let's just go with it. It's gonna get a little weird, and this is not even the tip of the iceberg. But Ethiopia, in ancient Greek terms, meant south of Egypt. So it's not talking about the East African nation that we know today. Still a little odd when you're throwing Ethiopia here and there. While he was off doing that, the other Olympian gods talked to the father of men and gods, Zeus. They spoke of Agamemnon's son, Orestes, who killed Agistus and his own mother. There's gonna be a lot of weird ass names. Agistus stole Agamemnon's wife, though Hermes, the giant killer, told him that revenge will come from Orestes if he continues. But Agisthus wouldn't listen. You know, classic Agisthus, just doing his own shit, not caring about how it affects any others. Speaking of this matter, Athena, Zeus's daughter, thought Agistus' death was deserved, well deserved. But this man being held captive, his name was Odysseus, and she believed he did not deserve his current fate. Zeus reminded her that Poseidon was forever fuming over the fact that Odysseus had blinded his son, the Cyclops, Polyphemus, or Polyphemus. You'll probably hear both of them. And born to the nymph Polyphemus, he was born to the nymph Thusa, and though Poseidon would not kill Odysseus, he has driven him away from his homeward course. Athena pleaded with her father that Odysseus deserves to go home and that she should go to Ithaca herself to rouse his son, Telemachus, with courage to speak his mind to all the suitors at his place and go find news of his father. Since Odysseus has been gone so long, his home has been overrun by men competing for the affection from Penelope, Odysseus's wife, and these guys are called suitors. There was a hundred and eight of them. These men were also eating all his food and drinking all his wine, bleeding his palace basically dry. Anyway, Athena tells Telemachus to get his crew ready and to go see Menelaus in Sparta and learn of his father, and she does this by taking the form of Mentor, son of the wise old Anchialis. Mentor was also an old friend of Odysseus'. She told him that she heard his father and that he's not dead, but the gods thwart his return home. Telemachus does what she says and readies his crew for their journey. Mentor, by the way, and I said this before, was an old trusted friend of Odysseus, and Athena takes his form to inspire the men. And this is where we get the modern term mentor. So the next day this is book two. As Don rose, Telemachus sprang from his bed, got dressed, grabbed his sword, and put on his sandals. He summoned his crew of Archeans and made ready to depart. Before he left, he told the suitors they should be ashamed of themselves, and when his pops got back they would feel his wrath. The suitors later got to talking and decided that Penelope had been leading them on for years now, four years, and now building up their hopes. They believe that Odysseus is indeed dead, and the logical thing is to now devise a plan to kill his son before he builds up an army from Pyrrhus and Sparta to kill them. Later that night, Athena brings a deep sleep over the suitors, and after taking the form of Telemachus and having the crew prepare for departure, she goes to Telemachus and walks with him to the ship, this time in the form of mentor. Book three. With the ship pulled into Pylos, people were lined up on the beach sacrificing bulls to Poseidon. There were nine divisions of five hundred, and that's a shitload of people. If I'm reading this right, that's forty, five hundred people on the beach, sacrificing nine bulls. They were also tasting the innards and burning thigh bones for the god the god Poseidon. Telemachus followed Athena, still in the form of mentor. She told him the words he would find to inspire power within him, and led him to Nestor, who urged him to sit and feast. He gave them some of the innards and some wine. Finally, after having their fill of food and drink, Telemachus asked about his father, and Nestor told him of the many battles fought around King Priam's walls, and of the fall of Ajax and Achilles. For nine years they fought until Zeus awarded them victory. I believe that was on the tenth year. With Zeus and the sheer cunning of Odysseus, the battle was finally won. After departing from the beach, they reached Tenidos quickly and sacrificed the gods for a quick return, but a quick return was not within Zeus's plans. With four days straight of massive storms as the other crews moored their ships to the Argos port, Nestor and his crew held course to Pylos, and that's how he made it home from Troy. Not wanting to talk about his father anymore, Telemachus asked how Agamemnon met his death. He told of how Agamemnon had given Augustus strict commands to guard his wife, and Agisthus swept her off to his own house, lover lusting over lover. Agestus killed Agamemnon and lorded over Mycenae for seven years. But on the eighth, Prince Orestus cut him down, and Nestor then warns him of what the suitors might do if he doesn't take care of them, and urged him to go visit Menelaus and Lessedaemon, and I believe Lacedemon is what they called Sparta, and I'm going to be mixing those throughout this too. Before they departed, animals were sacrificed to Poseidon for a safe trip. Afterwards, Polychaste, Nestor's youngest daughter, bathed Telemachus, rubbed him down with oil, and gave him some clothes. Then along with Nestor's son, Pisistratus, they left the heights of Pylos, fading in their trail. The sun sank as they reached Pharaoh, where Diocles, son of Attilachus, gave them a royal welcome, and they slept all night. The next day, as dawn rose, they yoked their stallions again and raced them on as the sun sank and the world grew dark. Book four. At last they made it to Lacedaemon, where they found the Spartan king Menelaus, celebrating a double wedding feast for his son born to him by a slave who was marrying Elector's daughter, and his daughter Hermione, the only child born from Helen of Sparta, or Helen of Troy, was marrying the son of Achilles. I guess it's just Helen of Sparta now. Don't want to bring up the Troy thing. Telemachus and Nestor's son were seen by Lord Atianaeus. I don't E T E O N E U S. Atianaeus, who brought them to Menelaus. The red haired king had his guests brought to the feast, and once satisfied with food and drink, he had them washed by the women and rubbed with oil. They're doing a lot of rubbing with oil for sure. We're gonna hear about a lot of baths, a lot of eating, and a lot of oil. After being brought bread and appetizers of plenty, they were given wine and golden cups, really taking care of these guys, you know. The visitors tell Menelaus of how great this palace is and how it must be similar to the palace of the gods, but Menelaus wasn't having it. He told them that no one could rival Zeus. And he also told them of his brother who was killed, thanks to the cunning of his cursed murderous queen, and so he rules with no great joy. And then he tells them of what he heard of Telemachus' father, Odysseus, and how he was unsure if Odysseus was alive or dead. After having more wine with the red haired king and Helen, Telemachus told them of the suitors at his home and how they were devouring all his wealth and possessions, and this made Menelaus angry. He said Odysseus would give them a quick death or a blood wedding, and then continued the story of his return. How he had been stranded on the island off the coast of Egypt for twenty days without a breeze at sea. Pff then Adothea, daughter of Proteus, the shapeshifting sea god, assisted in their return. So basically Menelaus' information wasn't the greatest though, and he had not heard if Odysseus meeting his demise or whether he hadn't. While this was happening in Sparta, the suitors back in Ithaca were talking and plotting against Telemachus. They now, instead of waiting on Telemachus' return, decide to board their own ship and ambush the prince in Estheris, a rocky island close to Ithaca. Book five. And this begins with the gods in council with Zeus. Athena remembers that Odysseus being held captive by Calypso. She also recalls how the suitors are trying to kill his son. Zeus tells Athena Odysseus will return and pay back the suitors that plot against his family. He then turns to his own son, Hermes, the giant killing god, as messenger to Calypso. So Hermes fastened his ever glowing sandals, grabbed his wand that had chanced the eyes of men, and flew down to Calypso's island. First, Hermes was unable to find Odysseus, who was weeping in anguish. And Calypso questioned Hermes, who informs her that this is Zeus's plan and there was no choice in the matter. This unlucky man who fought for Priam's Troy, sacking the city in the tenth year, who lost all his shipmates, was not fated to die on her island. Zeus commands her to send him off with good speed to see his loved ones. And after talking with Hermes a bit, he leaves and Calypso goes to find Odysseus. At first he did not believe she was allowing him to leave, but after she gave him his fill of food and drink, he was convinced in her sincerity. When young Don rose, the nymph gave Odysseus a heavy bronze axe and led him to the island's edge where he had to make his water craft. He made it himself. I believe Athena actually gave him some powers too. He was just like ripping trees out of the ground, making his craft. And it took him four days to build it, and on the fifth day he was off. Eighteen days later he could see the Phacian's island reaching towards him, but Poseidon saw him while he was returning from his Ethiopian friends, and this made his fury boil. Outraged that the gods allowed the Ithacan king to return home, he decided to give him a swamping fill of trouble. Poseidon rammed the clouds together with both hands clutching his trident and chummed the waves into chaos. As Odysseus is dealing with the chaotic seas, he sees Cadmus' daughter, Eno, I'm going with Eno, who was immortal once, but now lives in the sea's salt depths, esteemed by all the gods. She asks why the god of earthquakes was so dead set against him, and she tells him to take off all his clothes, leave his craft, and swim to land. She also gives him an immortal scarf to tie around his waist, but after he reaches land he must take it off quickly and throw it into the sea. And this sounds like a tricky ass scarf. Odysseus decides he'll try like hell to hold on to the boat, and after Poseidon launched a colossal wave, terrible, murderous arching over him, pounding him down, Odysseus jumped from one single timber and started taking off his clothes like Eno told him. Riding the board like a race horse and hopefully not acquiring any splinters on his scepter, Odysseus tied the scarf around his waist and dove into the sea. Poseidon wasn't happy about this, but he was trying to make Odysseus' trip a literal trip from hell. Athena showed up to stop the winds and their tracks, and after two days and nights at sea, on the third day, Odysseus sees landfall ahead and is full of joy to see the shore, the trees and the solid ground. He gets caught up in a reef, but Athena helps him again and inspires him to continue fighting the breakers out of danger. And after praying to the gods that the swell smoothed out and Odysseus drifted to shore, the sea had beaten down his heart, his whole body was swollen, there was plenty of brine gushed from his mouth and nostrils. He flung himself on the ground, kissed the green earth, and addressed his fighting spirit to continue. And later he finds a grove and crawls beneath two brushy olive sprung from the same root, and Athena showered him with a sleep. Yeah, the olive sprung. I don't know. I'm just imagining just like a big ass olive tree. I'm gonna have to get a drink. Athena goes to the Phacian city where Alcinius ruled, and the gods made him wise. The whole time Odysseus is still passed out in the deep sleep under the olive trees. And Athena goes to where the king Alcinius's daughter lay. Her name is Nausica. Nusica. I don't know, there are two A's in the end of it. I'm just saying Gnosica. Athena basically tells her that her room's a mess. She's got dirty clothes that need to be washed, and she should be ashamed of herself. She tells her the noblest men will court her, and she needs to get her act together, and don't worry, Athena will help her with this. And the next morning she should go to her father and go to town to the washing pools. And then she flies back to Olympus. That was Athena who did that, you know, went back to the Olympus. And the next day Nausica goes to her father, and he doesn't deny her the mules and wagon. I'm not sure how many, but there were stablemen and maids along for the ride, and they took her to the washing pools. She washed her clothes, and then Nausicaa and her maids take a bath. They rub themselves down with oil and eat while they were waiting for their clothes. What a weird clothes washing session. So these washing pools were apparently beside the brushy olives Odysseus was sleeping under, because as they were getting ready to leave, one of her maids tossed her dress, and she drops it in the water, and they giggle about it like little girls, and this wakes Odysseus up, and he gets up and covers his junk with a leafy branch, and the maids run away in panic, but not Alcinius' daughter. She held fast, for Athena had planted courage in her, and Odysseus spoke sly and suave and told her that he had been through some shit. He asked for a rag so he could ditch the branch he was holding, and she said she was the king's daughter and could show him around town. And then she told her maids to bathe and feed him. Odysseus told them he'd take care of it himself, though, so he went and bathed himself, and rubbed himself down with oil. And after this Athena made him taller to all eyes, his build more massive now, and down his brow she ran his curls like thick hyacinth clusters full of blossoms. Down to the beach he walked where they fed him, and then they left for the palace to meet the king and queen of Phacia. And Nausica, then we're on book seven now. Odysseus and her maidens went back to the city, and Nausicaa goes to her bedroom, and Odysseus walked through the city with a heavy mist around him, shielding him, and this was from Athena. Athena then takes the form of a young girl holding a pitcher, and she greets Odysseus and shows him where the palace is. And when they get there, she tells him Nausicaa is there, and the first person he will see is the mother, Aret. Aret is, I believe, Poseidon's great granddaughter, all right, in some kind of weird lineage. Her father was one of Poseidon's sons, uh kids, the wife of King Asinius. Athena tells Odysseus that the queen takes him to heart, then there is hope he will see his loved ones. Then Athena sped a wave over the barren sea. So Odysseus walks in and he can see this god's loaded. Alright, he's got gold, silver, and bronze everywhere. He even said there were gold and silver dogs forged by the god of fire to keep watch on the king's palace and mortal guard dogs. And Odysseus is walking still in the mist until he sees the king and queen and He throws his arms around the queen's legs, and this is when the mist goes away, and he begs for mercy. He tells her he suffered much and asks for a rapid convoy home. And they get him up, wine and dine him, and after everyone else is off to bed, the king and queen talk to Odysseus. Odysseus tells him about the island of Ogidia and Calypso, and how Zeus had crushed his warship, and how they drifted for nine days, and how his shipmates have all died. And then he washed up to Calypso's island and spent seven years there. And on the eighth year she insisted he sail off and summoned the wind to help him leave. And on the eighteenth day at sea, Odysseus could see Ithaca, but Poseidon, the god of earthquakes, piled wind against him, blocking his passage home and throwing him from his craft. Odysseus swam hard AF until he made it to the shore and passed out, and then he woke up to see the king's daughter and her maids, and the king like Odysseus, and said the convoy would leave the next day to take him back to his native land. And they had the palace maids make Odysseus a bed, and everyone went to sleep. And book eight. The next day Alcinius and Odysseus go to the Phacian meeting grounds, while Athena, in the build and voice of the king's herald, roams through the town, telling the lords and captains of Phaci to go meet and learn from the stranger. Athena makes Odysseus more massive to all the eyes, so they would regard him with kindness. The king rallies the men into taking Odysseus home, and fifty two sailors went to the ship, and then the king slaughtered a dozen sheep, eight boars, and a pair of oxen to feed his guests, and that's a lot of meat. During the feast a famous harpers sing, the stride between Odysseus and Achilles, and this made Odysseus hide his face, so the host would not see his tears. The king notices him and gets everyone's attention and says it's time for the games. So first they had a foot race f they had a foot race that Clyteneus, the prince won by far. And then they wrestled and had a jumping contest. And later a few guys started giving Odysseus some shit because he didn't participate, and eventually he gets fed up with them taunting and grabs a discus and lets loose with his great hand. And then he tells them that he would compete with anyone in boxing, wrestling, or racing, but not in a foot race, no. With all the beatings he's had on the heavy sea, this has made his legs bad, and he probably just had some fucked up knees or something. And they talked a bit more shit, and after the king mentioned dancing, the herald sprang to the fetch's lyre. Several of the men were dancing. Then Brodse, the man who won the wrestling match, told the king he would give the man, Odysseus, a sword. And the king and queen made sure Odysseus had fresh clothes and had their maids run him a hot steaming bath, and afterwards went to eat with the king and queen. The herald sang a song about a cunning trap that Odysseus brought to Troy. And this absolutely talks about the wooden horse here. I was under the impression before getting into this that kind of Virgil had pulled the whole wooden horse thing out of his ass, but it does talk about the wooden horse and the Odyssey, and that's Book eight. And as Herald is singing the Troy song, Odysseus starts weeping again. He just cries a lot. He's pretty sensitive. And the king notices him. This time he told the singer to lay the lyre down and asked the man, the stranger, Odysseus, to tell his story, and truly, why does he weep when he hears the fall of Troy? Book nine and this is where it pretty much starts to get in the meat of it in my opinion. So Odysseus, the great storyteller, launched into his story. Let me begin by telling you my name. I am Odysseus, son of Laertes, and sunny Ithaca is my home. I know no sweeter sight on earth. He tells of the winds that drove him out of Ilium to the Sycone stronghold, where his men and himself sacked the city, but the men didn't leave, and the Sycone's neighbors came to fight. A few of Odysseus's men were killed, but the rest rode away from certain doom. While escaping their deaths the men were sick at heart for the companions they had lost. After two whole days at sea, when dawn brought on the third day, they could see home, but in an instant a tide rip and the north wind drove them way off course, past Cythera. For nine days the rough and deadly winds tossed them about in the sea, and on the tenth day they reached the land of the lotus eaters, people who ate the lotus, mellow fruit and flour. He sends three men to go see who lives on the island, but the people were giving them lotus, and the men were eating it, and it stopped making them care about anything. They just didn't give a shit about anything. And they didn't even care about going home. They just wanted to sit around eating their lotus all day. And he finally went to get these men and brought them back and made sure no one else ate the lotus, or they'd never get home. And they go to their ship and sail off again until reaching the land of the Cyclops, and they all slept on the beach. At dawn they rose and grabbed their bows and hunting spears, killing some goats and spent the evening whining and dining, and they could hear the Cyclops' voice and see their smoke. And the following day Odysseus ends up grabbing a few guys and goes to the Cyclops' cavern, and they found the giant's lair and his flock of sheep and goats. And here Odysseus had most of his men stay on the boat, but himself and a dozen of his finest took a skin of wine a priest of Apollo gave him and went to search for the monster. The Cyclops was outranging his flock, so the men didn't find him, and they found some cheese and some lambs, and Odysseus' men tried to convince him to just grab some of that and go back to the boat. But I guess he wanted to see the monster, so they made a fire and waited for the cyclops to return. And when Polyphemus returned he puts a giant rock slab in the doorway, and it says it was so big that twenty two wagons couldn't move it. And he does his chores and notices the strangers hiding in the dark part of the room, and he asks them who they were and where they were from, and Odysseus answers them and says that they're men from Achaea and bound for Troy, battling home on a strange route Zeus brought them here. And Polyphemus said he didn't believe in Zeus, and asked where their boat was moored. And Odysseus, feeling something was up, lied and told him his ship was wrecked by Poseidon, and they barely made it to the island alive. Suddenly the Cyclops grabs two of the men at once, knocking them and slamming them on the ground, their brains gushed out all over and soaked the floor, and he eats them whole, ripping them limb from limb like a mountain lion, devoured entrails, flesh and bones, marrow and all. And Odysseus and his men cried out to Zeus while the Cyclops washed the two men he ate down with raw milk and went to bed. And while he slept, Odysseus wanted to climb on top of him and slash him open with his sword. But how would he move this giant ass boulder? And the next morning Polyphemus woke up and did some chores, ate another two dudes, and then drove his sheep from the cave. And while he was out, Odysseus and his men noticed what must have been the mast of a black ship so big it must have had twenty oars, and this was the Cyclops' club. Odysseus and his men chopped off a fathoms link and shaved it to a point and placed it into a fire to char it good, and then they hid it under some dung in the cave. And I guess there was just cyclops shit all over the place. And his plan was to hoist the giant point into the cyclops' eye while he was sleeping. When Polyphemus returned, he brought his flock inside. So the night before he did not bring his flock inside, but this time he does. And you know, like every story, everything's happening perfectly. But he comes home and he does some chores and then he makes two men uh a two-man meal, like he did before, beating them down, blood and guts all over the place. And Odysseus comes out with wine and pours Polyphemus a bowl of it, and he swallows it down. And after demanding another bowl, he loosens up and starts talking with the sly talking king, Odysseus, and he asks him his name, and Odysseus says his name is Nobody, and that's what he's called. Then before Polyphemus toppled over, he tells him that as a gift he will eat nobody last. And then he spurted out wine with some human flesh while he was passed out drunk. Odysseus and his men put the steak into the fire again and get it red hot, and with the courage from the gods they ram it into the sleeping giant's eye and bore it round and around, just really getting into that eye, you know, and its crackling roots blazed and hissed. The men backed up and let him go wild. Polyphemus screamed for his other cyclops buddies, and they came to investigate. And they asked what happened, and he's just going off about how nobody did this, and nobody took his eye out. And his Cyclops buds just had a big laugh about that and said Zeus was probably punishing him, and then they left. All the while Odysseus is trying to figure out their exit. He noticed all the rams, and who knows how he had the time or tools for this, but he has a plan to have the rams stand in threes. Listen to this fucking shit right here. So he has them stand in threes side by side, and he has a man in the middle of a ram holding it. Like he's just like holding on to the chest of a ram. And how did they do this? It doesn't talk about any kind of rope or anything. Um, but anyway, we're just gonna go with it for the story. It's old as hell. Uh, but the plan works. And when the cyclops wakes up uh all blind and bloody, he has to let his flock out, and he doesn't want to starve on top of everything else, so he lets his flock out and only fills the backs of these animals and while they're hanging on to their bellies. And that's how they get out of that situation. As they go back to the ship, Odysseus taunts the Cyclops and makes him super pissed. Then while taunting him before they shove off to sea, he yells his name. What an idiot. He says, If any man on earth should ask you who blinded you, say Odysseus gouged your eye, Laartes' son, who makes his home Ithaca. Man, he told him everything, except his fucking address. The Cyclops had heard a prophecy about this and just started screaming for his dad to avenge him for being eyeless and his dad heard him, and he was pretty upset about it himself. So they sailed off to escape their death, sick at heart for their dead comrades. That was book nine. So here we go. They reached the Aeolian Island next, home of Hippotus' son, Aeolius, and this king sired six sons and six daughters, and it was kind of Ptolemaic, he gave his daughters to his sons as wives. Anyway, they treated Odysseus well there and wined and dined him for a month. And Odysseus tells him their cyclops story, and the king gives him a bag of wind to help him return home. And Zeus gave it to him or something like that, and for nine days they sailed towards Ithaca, and on the tenth day they could see Ithaca, but an enticing sleep took over them, and while he was passed out his men grabbed the wind bag, and I guess you gotta be careful with that shit, and maybe just let out a tiny bit at one time, but they let all the wind out, and a sudden squall struck the ship and sent it back to the Eolian Islands. So he's back to the king that gave all his sons to his daughters, or whatever, daughters to his sons. And Odysseus tried to ask the king for another bag of wind. You remember that bag of wind you gave me? I was wondering if you had another one set around, 'cause my guys kind of fucked that up. But the king was kind of upset. And he was upset that Odysseus came back and he told the gods must despise him, and told him he'd better hit the road. So Odysseus and his men departed with heavy hearts. After six days and nights of rowing on the seventh day, they landed on Lastregonian land. And this wasn't the land of the Cyclops, but it was a land of giants. And he sends three of his men out to scope the area where they run into Aniphetes' daughter, and Aniphotes was the Lastragonian king. So his daughter takes them to the palace to meet her parents, and when the king arrives he snatches up one of the men and ate him for supper. And they're just everywhere they land they're just getting eat eaten by things. The other two men ran back to the ships and they pissed the king off, and he'd start screaming for his other giants to get the men, and hundreds of giants. They started throwing boulders and shit at the crew, and they speared the crew like fish, and they demolished every boat except for Odysseus's, and for there they sailed, glad to escape their death, and finally reached the land of AN, the home of Cersei A fucking weird ass word. A E A E A N Anyway, Cersei, she was the nymph with lovely braids who could speak with a human voice, and on the third day of being there, Odysseus kills a stag and brings it back to his men to eat and they do that. Afterwards they split into two groups and search the island. Eurylocus led one group and Odysseus led another. So Eurylochus' group finds Cersei's palace, and she's inside singing all nice, but Eurylochus could sense a trap, and his men couldn't though, and they went inside where she turned them into swine. She erased their brains from home and they went to their pens sobbing and squealing, while Cersei flung acorns and other common fodder for the hogs. Eurylochus ran back to the boat. For a while he was too stunned by what had transpired to be able to talk, but eventually they got the story out of him, and Odysseus grabbed his sword and went to find the nymph. As he's doing this, he passes Hermes, god of the Golden Wand, and Hermes gives him a magic herb to give Cersei to shield him from the fate his shipmates had been destined for. Cersei will give him a potion, but the herb will keep it from affecting him, and then rush her with his sword quickly, and this will make her cower in fear and ask him to sleep with her, and he better do it too. But first he has to make her swear that he won't think up another plan to harm him. And this is how it unfolds basically. And what a weird thing to have to happen. You have to rush her with this, scare her, and if she asks you to sleep with her, you gotta go sleep with her, but she's gotta make you a promise first. What a weird story. Hermes goes back to Olympus, and after doing what he said, Odysseus mounts Cersei's gorgeous bed. And so they must have had a good time there. And after her maidens, handmaidens have given him a bath and rubbed him down with oil, they tried to feed him, and he wouldn't eat, telling Cersei he couldn't eat, knowing his men are swine. And at that moment Cersei grabs her wine and turns the swine back to mend. And they end up staying there for a year, and finally Odysseus's men remind him of Ithaca and how they need to get the hell out of Cersei's island. And he goes back to tell Cersei he needs to go, so she tells him to travel down to the house of death first and consult the ghost Theresius, the Seer of Thebes, and this crushed the heart inside of Odysseus. And the next day Odysseus gets his men together and tells them Cersei told him the way home, and they had to go to the house of death first. And this broke his shipmates' hearts. Book eleven. With a little help from some wind Cersei gave them, the ship made it to the beach of Cimmerion. It starts with the sea, but I'm still going with Samerian. Cimerian people, and there he poured out libations to all the dead, and made them promises that he would slaughter some animals for them. And then he said some prayers to Persephone, the almighty god of death and dread. And then he starts talking with some ghosts. So first one of his men that died at Cersei's came with him and told Odysseus he fell from her roof and broke his neck, and that's why he's there. And then his mother ghost was there, and then the famous Theban prophet Tiresias showed up. So Tiresius tells Odysseus that Poseidon is still pissed about his son and is gonna make his way back home a living hell. And he's going to Thranacia Island, where he'll find herbs and fat flocks, the cattle of Helios, but he must not harm them. If he does, his ship and the men will all be destroyed and he will return home a broken man. Once returning home, Odysseus will take care of the suitors, and after that he must go to the people who know nothing of the sea and sacrifice some animals for Poseidon, and then he would find himself painless death in ripe old age. So finally he gets to talk to his mom, and she tells Odysseus she killed herself in grief over him being gone and possibly dead, but his pops is still kicking, and he sees some other female ghosts and talks a bit more, and then Agamemnon tells him how he had been murdered by his wife and lover, and he sees heroes from Troy like Achilles, Ajax, and finally Heracles, before he sees hordes of dead surging around him. Odysseus panics for a second before busting it back to his ship and commanding his men to take off. Book twelve The ship lands on the island of A, and the men sleep until Don's first light fuck that word. And then Cersei brings them some food and drink, and they sit there all day eating and drinking until the men pass out, and Cersei tells Odysseus that he'll pass the island of sirens, and he's to keep his men from hearing their songs, and whoever hears the siren's voice will not sell home, but his men are supposed to tie him to the mass, and he'll hear the songs, and he's gonna tell his men to let him free, but they're to tighten the rope more. And that's a part I don't really understand about this uh section of it, because I thought just hearing the siren's voice was enough to kind of fuck up your shit. But uh I guess he's supposed to hear it, but anyway, weird ass story. After that he's gonna pass a six headed monster with twelve legs, Scylla, and she'll probably kill six of his men, and that's better than all his men. And then Cersei repeats what Tiresias told him about the cattle of Helios on the island of Thranacea, and not to harm them in any way. Circe gives them a boost of wind and they take off again. And they do the siren thing for some reason, I guess they're supposed to. And he stuffs his men's ears with beeswax and they tie him to the mast. And everything happens as described by Circe, and then they pass Scylla and Therybdus. So Therybdis, I think of Therybdis as some kind of Lovecraftian type monster. I don't think it ever says what it looks like, but it was a monster that swallowed the sea three times a day, I think. So Scylla might get six of your guys, but Therybdus was certain death. And Scylla does get six of them, the toughest and strongest hands Odysseus had, and they could hear the six men screaming in pain, but the rest made it to Thranacia, and he tells his men not to touch the herds, or they'll be fucked. So they were stranded for a month on this island and their food started to run out, and Eurylochus rallies up some men to go kill some of Helius' herd, and Helius is pissed about that. He asked his father Zeus to punish Odysseus' men, and Zeus said sure, and he would tear their racing ship to splinters. Finally, after six full days of eating Helios' cattle, Zeus gives them some nice wind and they're off again. And then Zeus destroys their ship with thunder, and Odysseus finds himself on a makeshift raft and rides it like a wild water horse. And his raft gets swallowed by Tribdis, but he hangs on a fig tree, which I guess was on the outside. I guess a fig tree was I don't fucking know. He hangs on a fig tree. And with all his might and Tribdis vomits his raft up. And Odysseus was drifting for nine days and on the tenth he landed on Calypso's Island, Ogidia. And that's where we'll leave the story today. Right where we started, more or less. Odysseus is stranded on Calypso's Island, her captive for the next seven years, alone in the world of monsters and gods. Well thanks for hanging out. We'll be back in two weeks to finish the story of Odysseus and find out if he makes it home. If you go see Chris Nolan's flick, let us know how the story adds up to the original. If you like this episode, give us a like and a review. That really helps with the algorithms. If you have something to say or a good subject to explore, leave us a comment or send an email to stonedatepod at gmail.com. Follow us on Facebook at the Stonedate Podcast with Wes Ranson. And if you like podcasts on YouTube, youtube.com slash at Stonedate Pod. We'll have links for these down below and a link to our Patreon. If you can help support the show, it's greatly appreciated. But just showing up every two weeks and hanging out is very much appreciated. Thanks again and have a chill day.