22: Cash Stuffing 101: Taking Control of Your Money One Envelope at a Time

We’re talking about Cash Stuffing—what it is, how to do it, and how it can literally change your relationship with money.

Cash stuffing is a budgeting method where you take your income out in cash and physically divide it into categories—usually using envelopes.

Cash stuffing is powerful. It gives you:

• Control over your money
• Clarity on where it’s going
• Discipline without needing a finance degree

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Single Mom Honey, the podcast dedicated to single moms with a focus on health, money, and everything in between.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Alright, I'm Quay Lynn, I cover the health.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

And I'm Aisha, I cover the money. So today, Quay, we're gonna be talking about the money portion of Single Mom Honey.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

Please teach me, because I need to get this money thing together.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Girl, and you will. That's what this community is all about.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Okay. Like, no matter, no matter what, I'm like, am I saving too much or am I spending too much? Because I'm doing both. That's like I need to find like an equal medium because I I don't like thinking about money.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

A lot of people don't, and that's unfortunately how people stay in that rat race trying to get more, trying to get more. Or I want to get out of here. You know, doom and gloom. So today we're gonna be talking about cash stuffing 101, taking control of your money one envelope at a time. Now, we have spoken about this before in some previous episodes, and now today is the day to dive into what cash stuffing is all about. It's want to make sure that we are all aware that we are not just surviving, we are thriving with intention.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Right. Okay. Um, so I looked at this and I was like, oh, I should have read this other part before when I started talking to you. Just freestyling. But that's okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

We can freestyle. That's what it is all about. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So again, welcome back to Single Mom Honey, the podcast where we help single moms build soft lives, strong boundaries, and secure the bag. And I really, really need you to help me secure the bag. I feel like, you know, I know how to get to the money.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

You you make the money. You have no problem working for the money. That's one thing I will say about playing.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

Like, damn, how many jobs you got? Well, listen, I I feel like you always have to have multiple streams of income so that if something goes awry.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

And it usually will.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Yeah, you have something to fall back on because as a single mom, you don't have a lot of people to fall back on when it comes to finances.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

You know, um, when I always think about it, I think about like, oh, you know, some people were like, oh, well, you get child support. Well, you don't get it regularly.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

I'm sorry. That's funny.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Yeah, I mean, it's real. You don't get it regularly. I don't even expect it. So um As you should not. Yeah. I need this episode as much as our listeners do. So let's go.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

I think it's good. So we're gonna be talking about cash stuffing, what it is, how to do it, and how it can literally change your relationship with money because that's the most important thing. Your relationship with money will determine your presence as well as your future.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

So change my relationship. It's been toxic. Okay. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

Okay, well, you know, I'm a um money trauma coach. So anytime you want to set something up, we can set up an appointment to go through that and dive into it and figure out why your relationship with money is the way it is. So, all right, so cash stuffing is a budgeting method where you can take your income out in cash. So that's a step that a lot of people don't want to have to do because it takes time and planning. And sometimes when you're moving and on a go, go, go all the time, the thought of having to go to the bank is like, what? How old am I? 60, 70, 80 years old? Oh, you get telling me that I want to swipe my cart. Well, that's why you get into the problems that you get into because you actually spend less money when you use cash versus versus when you're using your card.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

So let me ask you this. For those of us who use like digital money, like we have tap to pay and just our cards, is there a way to like virtually cash stuff, or is it really with real cash? I'm just wondering, like, because when I think about going to the bank, like you just said, I'm like, oh god, that's another trip I gotta add to my day.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Like well, no, um, the reason for physically touching and holding the cash and handing that over to somebody, then having a look back at what you have left makes you do this. Okay, I'm not gonna spend this because I need this for the next two weeks until my next paycheck. I'm going to be a little bit more thoughtful about where my money goes versus doing tap to pay, doing your uh card or whatever. You're mindless. As long as they say approved, all right. Let me get going, you know. But with cash is like, okay, I'm starting out with $300 for groceries. Okay, I went to the grocery store, I paid $200. I only have $100 left until my max next next paycheck when I get we don't need those snacks. We need vegetables and meat and protein. You're actually thinking more because you're planning throughout the day. I mean throughout the weeks for every paycheck. So every dollar will have a job going forward. So it's a way to physically divide it into categories, usually using envelopes. Okay. So when we think about cash down, we want to think about things that we all need rent or mortgage, um groceries, gas, self-care, because this actually makes you intentionally put yourself first as a single mom. You have your own envelope for self-care or things you want to do with your money, and then your kids have their own envelope, either either individually or collectively for their activities as well. So every dollar has a home before you even spend it. So it's not mindless spending, which is the swiping, which is the tapping. You okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

Well then let me ask you this when the envelope is empty.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Baby is empty. It's gone until the next episode. Okay. Like this, like that, and like this, and uh that money gone, baby. You gotta spend uh nothing until your next paycheck.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

When you take these cash envelopes in, do you leave your wallet in the car?

SPEAKER_00 5:48

No. All right, so this is a cash stuff and binder. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

And then when you open it up, you have different envelopes. So this is self-care.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

Okay. Groceries.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

Gas. Need a lot of that. You need two envelopes for gas.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

Right nowadays, this is one kid's funny.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Kids fun. Oh, okay. Household.

SPEAKER_00 6:11

So this is like cleaning supply, toilet paper, paper towels, soap, things like that.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

Okay. Dining out.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

If we want to have some money to go out to eat, then okay. Shopping. So this is like clothes, clothes and stuff, or shoes, or you know, uh seasonal clothes. Okay. Entertainment. If the kids want to go to the movies, or if I want to go to the movies, or if I want to go out with my friends and get some drinks, entertainment right here. And a miscellaneous is just whoever knows what's coming up. Maybe put some money away for like maybe new tires or something like that. There's different funds that you could do. So if I would take this into the store with me, and I'll have my money for my groceries and my grocery envelope. And then I've already had planned out what we're going to be eating for the next two weeks. And that's already, I mean, you already know you have to have a plan ahead of time before you go into the grocery store. I don't know if you have ever been uh a victim of the grocery store hungry, rushing, or no damn idea why you're there. You're gonna end up spending two times more than what you were supposed to because you didn't have a plan.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

True. That is true.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

Yeah. I mean, do you usually plan out your meals?

SPEAKER_02 7:21

No.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

I haven't lately. I don't really plan them out. Like I just make sure there's enough food and things that we like so that we can get meals so that I don't have to snacks. Oh, food. Like like chicken and veggies and uh, you know, rice, black beans. I know that like staples that we eat, so I try to have blue stains in the house. And then we just figure it out as we go.

SPEAKER_00 7:46

Yeah, I feel like that's the same thing. Yeah, so it keeps you cash stuffing keeps you from swiping and fig like I'll figure it out later. I'll look at it later. Like, no, no overdraft surprises with this type of system. So let's talk about why cut cash stuffing works, you know, especially for single moms.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

Right. Well, I need to understand why it works because I know for me I don't have a backup plan. So if this could be my backup plan or, you know, just my assistant, or I I need help. So go ahead. Tell me why it works.

SPEAKER_00 8:18

So I like the idea that you just said it could be your assistant. Every single mom needs an assistant.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

And this is something that keeps you on track.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

Like a pocket secretary. I need one of those. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

Yeah. What was that called? Polypocket. Yeah. Remember polypocket? I used to pull her so bad. My mom used to tell me no all the time. She had a polypocket. You had a polypocket? For my daughter. Oh, I thought it was when you were a kid. Did you have a polypocket?

SPEAKER_01 8:46

No. But she had one when she was a kid. See? Coming up.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

So that is the reason why cash stuffing is powerful because it gives you a backup. It gives you control over your money. It also gives you clarity on where it's going versus I just got paid. Where the hell my money go? That's the worst feeling. And then you look at the calendar and you still got two more days until the next paycheck. What?

SPEAKER_01 9:09

I did that this morning.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Oh what you just got paid and now you ever like where my money went?

SPEAKER_01 9:12

Yeah. My eyes got all big. Um what happened? Like, and it doesn't matter how much you make if you don't know where it's going.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Yes. Um if you don't have control over it. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

It's like so stressful. It's so stressful.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

And it doesn't have to be. Cash stuffing also gives you a sense of discipline. A sense of discipline and feeling of control over your money, and you ain't even got to go to college to get a finance degree to do it. Like, that's what it feels like. I know when I'm actively cash stuffing, am I doing it right now? No. But I plan on doing it once the summer starts and getting back into it again. It gives you, first of all, you realize how much extra money you got left over. How much money really comes into your household versus how much money goes out when you are focused and disciplined. It obviously I think it should be studied. I don't know if it has been studied, but you'd be like, I got all this extra money left. Oh my gosh. And we're doing fine. Everything is on, everyone's fed, everybody's entertained. Wow. You know?

SPEAKER_01 10:14

I need to figure out a way to I need to cut my subscriptions too.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

So that I can Yeah, I've been cut those.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Yeah, I have a few more. I just realized that, you know, stuff will come in the man. I'm like, oh, I thought I canceled that, you know. And then that that can be like a bummer because it's like, oh, my account looks good. And you'd be like, what just came out? And it's some random subscription that you didn't know about.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

Yeah. It's just taking the time to sit down and go over it so you're not stressed. That's one thing I would have to say. Cash stepping will reduce the stress because you're not guessing. You already know. You know, I don't know about you, but we got 50 million things in our mind. Exactly. Every day eliminate some knowing ahead of time what is to come. Um I think for me it really helps with emotional spending because I'm an emotional spender. I used to be an emotional eater, but I can't eat as much.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

So listen, I told you what, maybe it was like Saturday. I um I told you I had a rough day at the rehearsal for the musical. And I also realized that I hadn't taken my Prozac that day, right? So my third option is always to go to like TJ Maxx. Right? You already got a spot. That's your favorite place. Oh, I love TJ Maxx. Or like I rarely go there. Ross or Marshall's. You know, something because in my mind I can justify it. Because I'm when I get upset or overwhelmed, for some reason I have this tendency to engage in retail therapy or shop therapy. Um, maybe if I had an envelope for it, I wouldn't go over budget because I go in there and be like, I'm gonna just get one thing and then I'll be seeing a million things and be like, you know what, you had a rough day, why not? Why not?

SPEAKER_00 12:00

That's that emotional spending monster on your shoulder.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

You deserve it, girl. And it ain't even. Yeah, which one should I get? Girl, you deserve both.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

Exactly. All of them.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

And then that's where the problem comes in. Cause then I'll be like, ooh.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Looking at that bank account the following day or the following week, like, yeah, oh who rated my bank account?

SPEAKER_02 12:23

Oh me. It was me.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

It was me.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

It was me. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

Yeah, it hits different when you gotta go in there and give somebody two twenties and a 10 versus just one twenty. Cause then you walk out with nothing versus something. So yeah. So how go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

Sign, I'm gonna try that. Okay. That's gonna be one of my envelopes.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

You need to have a quay envelope. A quay lint envelope, a mommy fund. That's why I like to call mine. A mommy fund. Um, so how to start cash stuffing step by step. So grab your notebook because we're about to walk you through.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

I got my notebook right here because all right.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

Step one, the most important thing. Know your income. How much money are you bringing in monthly or per paycheck after taxes, after paying for insurance, after retirement fund contributions? How much money comes into your bank account every month or per paycheck? I like to do it per paycheck. Breaking that down smaller helps me out versus just looking at it monthly. Now, step two is you need to list your expenses. Now you need to start with your non-negotiables. What has to be paid in order for us to keep living the life that we have? A rent or mortgage if you own your utilities, child care, if you have to include that, and groceries.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

We gotta make sure we got where do subscriptions fall in? Like where would I list those?

SPEAKER_00 13:49

Those extra, them variables. But we're gonna look at the fixed ones first. So eat rent or mortgage to have somewhere to live. You need utilities, you need light, water, gas, heat, all those good things. And if you can't just leave your kid at home, you know, locked into a kennel, then you're probably gonna need child care. And then uh groceries to eat. So then we're gonna move on to our variable categories when it comes to our expenses. The ones prior were fixed. We know those are just pretty much the same and are necessary. The variables are gas, which is high right now. Thanks, Trump. Thanks, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

First of all, first of all, it's more than high. High is an understatement. High as fuck. Yeah, um, it used to cost me like $40 to fill my tank. Now it's like um 60 something.

SPEAKER_00 14:39

Yeah, my stuff went from 32 to 57 the other day. How? And I got a hybrid. So I'm trying to figure out where's the disconnect. And that's what my discounts. Yes, that's with my gas discounts.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

And with with with the state you're in, your gas is always so your variable accounts outside of gas.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

Let's not get us thought started on that one. Eating out, you know, going out for lunch or dinner with you or the kids, personal spending, things that you need. Wow. As single moms, if you're still having a period, you're gonna need tampons and pads, or you know, unlike Quay, who's, you know.

SPEAKER_02 15:19

Just get an IUD.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

IUD with 93, right?

SPEAKER_02 15:22

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

Uh, or like your kid.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

Period, I ain't seen you. Period.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Right. How how long have you not had one?

SPEAKER_01 15:30

Let me see here.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Damn, that long.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

Carter just it is he today's his birthday. He's 11, so I have not had a period for about 11 years now.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

Wait, you got it as soon as you dropped him?

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Yeah, did I have a period for a little bit? And then um, boom. So maybe like almost maybe like 10 years, I haven't had a period.

SPEAKER_00 15:49

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Yeah, you know, looking back.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Wow. I might need to join you up over there because yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

Listen, it's magical. I'm on my second IUD too. How long did it last? So um the marina I have now lasts for seven years. So I have one more year. Initially it was five years. And then now they're seven-year marinas.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

So we should do an episode on that. Absolutely. Yeah. IUD to 93. That'll be the title of it.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

Absolutely. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

All right, your next step is create your envelopes. So you could use actual envelopes. Like when I first started cash stuffing, I went to the dollar store and I got a box of envelopes. And I just have store now. Just load with gas and groceries. Everything is scarf. Like, yeah. And I just wrote the categories on the actual envelopes. Or you could have a little cute binder system like this.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

Um I'm gonna need I'ma need it to be a bright color because black on black with these eyes over 40, I can't even see stuff.

SPEAKER_02 16:54

What do you mean black on black? These envelopes are transparent.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

No, I'm talking about that whole the outside case, my outside case, because if I sit in on my couch, I'll be like, I don't know where I said it.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

I lose stuff sitting right next to me, like wow.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

Or label cash wallet. So make it feel good. You know, I don't know about you, but I love the idea of having extra money. That's why you and I are not afraid to do that extra work to get that extra money, that extra income coming in. But I like to also feel even better keeping that extra money versus just letting it funnel out like I ain't did nothing. I almost killed myself to get it.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

Working 111 million hours. Right. You gotta make it fun because if it feels like a punishment, you're not gonna stick to it. Just like working out. Working out gotta be like, oh, those little endorphins just feel wonderful. Like, huh, versus why am I doing this shit? I'm about uh fuck it. I'll get you know, you're not gonna do it. You're not gonna stick to it. It's just gonna be a quick little fat and you're gonna go back to what's comfortable to you. Let's do a real life example. You know, sometimes that works for me to actually hear the numbers. So if you're like me, listen on that. All right.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

You get $2,000 after taxes a month. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:06

How do you make that work with cash stuffing? First, you'll break it down on what we said were the essentials. So rent. Say your rent is $900. Rent $900, groceries, $300, gas, $150. You gotta have child care, part-time, $400, personal for you, $100, and then $150 in your savings. What you do is you withdraw the cash from the bank. You tell them which denominations you need, how many 50s, how many twenties, how many tens, how many fives, how many dollars? There's a way to do this, and it's something that I could um go further into as well. Okay. But then you label your envelopes and you stuff each one accordingly. So now you're at the grocery store, right? You got that $300 for your grocery.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

What I see that you have a savings envelope here, like for $150. Why would you take your money out of the bank instead of saving it in the bank? And why would you put it in an envelope instead?

SPEAKER_00 19:07

So I know for me and for a lot of other people who are into saving their money, they like to save it at home and then once they get to their goal, then they'll go deposit it into their savings at um the bank, or if they want to have emergency cash on hand at home.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

That's one thing you could do. Or if you're somebody who's feel comfortable and know that you're going to hit that button or set it up, that's gonna go to that account and you're not gonna touch it, and that works too. But you have to have that discipline of, okay, I'm gonna put this $150 and I'm gonna leave it alone, or I have it already set up that every time I get a deposit over a certain amount of money, it goes into my savings account. But for me, I like to be able to reach towards a goal. So say my savings goal is $2,000 or $2,500. After I get that $150, I'll keep putting it away. Put them away. Then I get my $2,500, $2,500. Did I go put it in the savings account or I go uh put it in my account and then I can send it to an online savings account? So it's not within my bank that I can't just transfer it over to my check. So hide it from yourself. You gotta get creative.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

Hide it in plain sight.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

Exactly. And um, but a grocery envelope, once it's gone, we're eating what's in the house. We're eating what's in that pantry that has been there for the last three months that you beg for and now you don't want to touch it. We're cooking at home. We're not eating out all the time. Once our eating out money is gone, that's it. Okay, well, we're just gonna have breakfast for dinner, because that's all we got left until I get paid tomorrow. So that's just what we're gonna do. Like, you have you really get creative when you are, I don't want to use the word limited, but when you are focused on the go, you know?

SPEAKER_01 20:40

That makes sense. That makes sense. And we have tried that before. I'm like, oh, we gotta eat what we got, because I do notice that, like, like I have freezers full of food. I'm like, we need to eat, eat this before I go out and buy new groceries, because otherwise, you just get in the same cycle. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

And then that stuff gets freezer burn. So it's just like you're just throwing away money.

SPEAKER_01 20:59

So that's why it's it makes sense to ahead of time what you're gonna eat that week. Freezer burn is a seasoning.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

That's what we're about to look you get creative real quick when you're trying to be focused on some things.

SPEAKER_01 21:11

Freezer burn, hamburgers, and beans.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

Ugh, I don't even want to think about that. Okay, well So, what are some tips for success when it comes to cash stabbing? You know, we need to give some real life tips because we know life be life in like a mood. Like a mood.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

And it's going to continue lifing with the way that the economy's going.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

So And I feel like this is why this is topic, why this topic is more most more important now than ever. Because everybody's going through it right now. Like we just talked about it. Gas is sky high, groceries are sky high, summer camp for kids, electricity.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

All your utilities are sky high?

SPEAKER_00 21:48

Because my water bill went up $110. And my usage went down. So high.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Yeah, that's wild.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

My electricity bill, it's been kind of steady. My gas bill. Bill? What up? Sky high two. How? What happened? Oh, the war. That's gonna be y'all's excuse for everything. Y'all just believe in us. We expect them to get you section money back.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

All right. So let's go with tip one.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

Yeah. Start small. Don't be trying to go all gong ho, gong ho. What's the word? Gong ho. Gong ho.

SPEAKER_03 22:23

Gun ho? Yep. Is it a gun in a hoe?

SPEAKER_01 22:31

You sound like my grandma. Like, first of all, back in the day she used to say, you know, I used to be like, that food is bomb. You ever heard that saying? She used to say it was bong.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

I don't start using that. Grandma knew what she was doing. She probably was hitting that ganja when y'all wasn't there. It's bong. They think I don't know what I'm saying. You know? But yeah. Tip number one, start small. You don't have to attach stuff everything at once. Start with two to three categories. The three categories that I would recommend that you start with are groceries, gas, and personal. Those are the three ones that I would recommend that you start with. Because we know every paycheck, three things, those three categories are being taken money from you. So um tip number two is be flexible, not perfect. Um if something unexpected comes up, you adjust. This is a tool, it's not a punishment. Things happen. Shit be happening. Should be hitting fans too. You gotta be prepared for it.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

And when it hits the fans, it sprays on everything.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

Ugh. Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

Tip number three is keep a miscellaneous or buffer envelope because kids will always need something at the most random time. So for instance, Quay, I just told you about what happened this past weekend when my kids were gone with their father. He took them camping in their new coats and new shoes and new clothes, and they all came back smelling like pond piss water. The shoes are covered in mud. The inside of the shoe, the you know, the little shoe thing to come out of the liner. Yeah. Swenched in mud and water. I took it out and it was just dripping. What who knows? Who knows? Brand new coats. I've washed them twice. They're currently in a washer right now for the second cycle because it still smells like stale pond water, like fish water. Or I heard that he was letting them roll and you stuck people into an envelope. Well, that's there's something we can discuss. There's something we can see if it's possible. And you know, you'd have to give them, I guess, inside of your envelope would be how many folks you want to give.

SPEAKER_01 24:31

Um, would be like the percentages of your pay to put into these envelopes, just to break down.

SPEAKER_00 24:38

Well, it's gonna be different for everybody. That's why it's based off the dollar amounts. Because one person could have rent or mortgage for $900, another person their mortgage is $1,900. True. So True, true, true. That's what it is. So we just keep a miscellaneous one. So now I wasn't expecting, and this wasn't in my budget, to buy new shoes until mid-summer, maybe before even school year, because I just bought those shoes. Now they're basically, you know, ruined. I'm gonna try to throw them in the washer and see if that works. But when I tell this, that was me working on my mental human envelope. Tip number four is make it a ritual. So what I like to do is I do my budget every Saturday morning. Every Saturday morning. Um, I will make me a cup of coffee, you know, get my laptop. No, if I'm not listening to a True Crime podcast, I'm usually like lighting the incense or something like that, or a candle early in the Saturday morning, and I'll just sit at my desk and I'll work on my budget during that time. Once that's done, I don't have to worry about it again because I know where my money is going and how much money is gonna be left over. So make it a ritual, make it fun, turn on some music, pour a glass of wine, or some of that tea that Quay was drinking. And you know, just make stuff in your envelopes a vibe. Because it's about you and your future. I'm doing this for future Aisha. You're doing this for future Quay. That's how I look at it.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

Dad, but I don't know. It's just a reminder of what they look like. So I never have to get one again.

SPEAKER_02 26:12

I was so confused. So confused.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

All right, so let's talk about the emotional side of money. Because, like I said before, I'm definitely an emotional spender. And it's absolutely ridiculous. Like, um, I have been able to rein it in a little bit when it comes to like I don't make huge purchases, and I try to justify it by going to a store that may be a discount store or you know the dollar store. I mean, huh?

SPEAKER_00 26:45

The dollar store.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

No, it won't be the dollar store. You know, I go there for like random things, but like, no, I have my favorites. Like I said, TJ Maxx, Marshall's, um, Ross, you know, something that I can find what I like, but for uh a decreased price, but not decreased value, I should say. Okay, now I get it. Yeah. So I try to think that I'm spending responsibly if I'm in an emotional state. That's why I have been like, I'll go to these places instead.

SPEAKER_00 27:15

Mm-hmm. Yeah, so there's definitely an emotional connection between ourselves as humans and money. Um, that's something we definitely have to talk about because budgeting isn't just about numbers. Like you have already stated multiple times is that it's something emotional that makes you do these things. It's something emotional that makes you not do these things.

SPEAKER_03 27:38

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

You know? Um, a lot of people grow up in survival mode, you know. Um, but a lot of people, everybody has a relationship with money. That's why I like to tell people as a money trauma coach. Your relationship with money either is you had a lot of it growing up, so you don't really have value, you don't give value to it. Or if you didn't have a lot of it growing up, and then you got a scarce mindset, so you hold on to it, or you just go spend it because now you get to spend money that you never had the opportunity to do. So you either have, I grew up with a lot of money, or I didn't grow up with a lot of money, but either way it's gonna give you, you're gonna fall within a spectrum of how you handle money in an emotional way today as an adult. Oh, like people who, you know, usually grew up with no structure, no guidance. I know so many people who didn't even know anything about money until they had money as an adult. Their parents didn't talk to them about money, didn't show them how to stretch a dollar. Just a lot of parents think if I'm doing it and you see me doing it, you should learn from that way. No, you have to sit down and teach kids. Like for this summer, with me and my kids, they're gonna have their own bank accounts. Well, they already have their own bank accounts, but want their own bank accounts at home. And they're gonna see the power of money and how it works. Because I don't want them to go out into the world like I feel like I did trying to figure it out and figure it out by fucking up, you know? Like Absolutely, absolutely. Yeah. So I like to tell everybody, cash. Yeah, that's all we can do together. We could come up with that together.

SPEAKER_03 29:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

You know, cash stuffing is more than budgeting, it is reparenting yourself financially. That's the way that I think. And I think everybody should go through some type of I was I wanna say money therapy, but yeah, like some therapy when it comes to your relationship with money, because sometimes you don't understand why you do the things you do because maybe you never look back into your childhood and how you this lot of this stuff is learned behavior or fucking up behavior because you're not being guided with what you need to do. You know, because I feel like everybody deserves stability and deserve peace, especially when it comes to money, because as we said before, the reason why we started single mom honey is you're gonna deal with health and you're gonna deal with money. No matter where you are in your lifetime, it's going to impact you. So, how about we learn how to do it the right way or a better way?

SPEAKER_01 29:46

Definitely a better way. I'm here for the better way all day.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

Okay, so that's what we're gonna do. I want us to go into this the next step, and that's gonna be us doing it in person and both of us working on that together.

SPEAKER_03 29:58

Okay, that's fine.

SPEAKER_00 29:59

Don't be afraid, Koi. I will hold your hand through this.

SPEAKER_02 30:02

Uh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

No, I'm gonna count my money if you hold my hand.

SPEAKER_00 30:07

All right, so listen, we hope that this was encouraging for all of you when it comes to cash stuffing. We will have it in the show notes, the different steps of how you could get started. And also realizing that just because you're not doing this now, or if you tried it before and you failed, it doesn't matter. You're still doing an amazing job. You're still looking forward to bettering yourself. And that's what makes you an awesome person and an awesome mom.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Yes, because you are here managing your household, raising your kids. Some people are still back in school, graduating, trying to improve their careers, working, healing, trying to heal in the midst of doing everything else.

SPEAKER_03 30:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

You know, how would you have the time to manage money intentionally? But um, I don't know. Well, we can help you figure it out. We can figure it out together.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

Yep, yep. Don't be discouraged. If it's not perfect, you know, progress is better and it always leads over perfection. Always. So make sure you go ahead and follow us on our socials at single momhoneyofficial. Go ahead and subscribe to our YouTube channel, Singlemom HoneyOfficial. And if you have any topics you would like us to answer, or if you have any listening letters that you would like us to read on air on our shelf, go ahead and send us an email, singlemhoney at gmail.com. That is singlemomhoney at gmail.com. If you try stuff, we want to hear from you.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

I want to know. Absolutely, absolutely. You know, um, like she said, tag us, message us, share your journey. Cause, you know, your journey can help other people. I promise you. Until next time. You bring the tea and we got the honey. See you next time. Bye.