23: Moving Through Motherhood: Wellness & Working Out

An honest and uplifting conversation about how single moms can reconnect with their bodies, prioritize wellness, and redefine fitness in a realistic, sustainable, and compassionate way while balancing motherhood, work, and everyday life.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

And welcome back to Single Mom Honey, the podcast dedicated to single moms with a focus on health, money, and everything in between.

SPEAKER_02 0:07

All right. Welcome back. Hi, I'm Quayland. Yeah, and I cover the health. You always like something else to it. And I and I just can't ever remember because I got mom brain.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Look, this topic that we're going to be speaking about today is going to be impactful for all.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Us included. And Aisha, I cover the money. So today we're going to be talking about something that I think is bubbling within a lot of moms right now. Be it that you're a single mom, a married mom, a widow mom, whatever it is. As a mom, we tend to put ourselves last on a day-to-day basis. So today we're going to be talking about moving through motherhood, wellness, and working out. It's going to be an honest and uplifting conversation about how single moms can reconnect with our bodies and prioritize wellness as well as redefine fitness. You know, make it realistic, make it sustainable, make it fun, make it something to include the kids in as well. But it's a way that you can make it a part of your everyday.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

Yeah, because uh if it don't last, it ain't worth it. Anyway.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

This is true. This is true. So, Quayne, let's start out with you. What's your relationship with working out right now?

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Fairly active. But it's like intermittent activity. Like, you know, I r I do run the half marathon every year. Um, do I prepare for it? Sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

But the fact that you're doing it is great.

SPEAKER_02 1:31

Sometimes I just get offset and hope for the best. As long as I finish. And you're moving somebody. Exactly. Um, occasionally I take walks. Um, you know, I count adult activities as exercise too.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Um, you know, I try to stay active.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

I try. I want to get better at it. What's your relationship with working out and staying active and being healthy?

SPEAKER_00 1:57

I just don't know how to prioritize it. I know I'm able to do those things. I know I should be doing those things. I feel like I have a love-hate relationship with working out because I love it while I'm doing it, but then I hate when I stop and gotta start over again. Like it's the mental thing for me. Not necessarily physical, it's a mental thing for me. So I need to start using it for some stress relief because you know, that's the never-ending supply around these parts.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

You know, I will say this, like not everybody's a runner per se, but even walking, um, you know, once you walk for some long, even like a brisk walk, you know, I know that when I run, I do get a runner's high. Like, you know, and it's like, oh, I get to like actually breathe out things. Yes, yes. And we don't often get to do that in single moms. Like, you don't get to zone out. You're on 100, 1000% of the day. And there's not even a thousand percent in the day, but you still gotta give that.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Um, hmm. All right. So I will say this. Um, as far as like stress relief goes, movement is very effective for me when it comes to stress relief.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

Like that, sleep, sometimes just like sitting in the sun. Like, yeah, getting that vitamin D, yes, recharging, activating the melanin.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

That's how I feel too.

SPEAKER_02 3:19

You like yes, yes, yes. I need this. Um, what else? Um, I do, I do, I will say, with my schedule and just being a single parent since the beginning of time, um, I do find it very difficult to prioritize it. Like, I I do know that I need it. Um, and sometimes I feel like my body's just like, girl, you need to stretch. So then I stretch. Like I try to do it when I'm in the moment. Otherwise, like something else is coming in.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

It's not gonna get done. There's just another thing that's gonna get to the list at the end. And that's why I feel like it's happened with me. It's just prioritizing me. It's so hard. It's so freaking hard. No matter how many extra hours I get in a day, how much you get extra hours I have. Yes, I do. Because right now it's summer break. So I don't have to do the whole morning routine, drinking ready, transport them to the other side of town, and then come back to work for a few hours just to have to go back to pick them up again and then get uh, you know, breakfast, I mean dinner ready and bedtime routine. So I do have more time now, and this is probably the best time for me to start a routine, and that's actually what I'm looking forward to doing now because my kids are.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

Well, maybe we can do one in the morning. We could do like a stretch routine in the morning while the kids are off. I don't know. Yeah. Because I could we could record and take a walk.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

Or yes, video call while we're doing taking a walk to talk about. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

Um or we could do stretches, we could do like morning mom yoga.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

Um I hate yoga.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

Okay, all right, we'll fine. Stretching. We'll just call it stretching.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

I mean stressed. Yoga stresses me. I'm like, I'm supposed to be transported to a different place. Not hell. But yeah, no.

SPEAKER_02 4:59

All right, five. Research consistently shows that regular physical activity can effectively reduce stress, anxiety, and symptoms of depression. Especially, um, this is especially important for mothers who like us balance or try to balance multiple responsibilities every day.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:21

So I will say that it uh exercise does definitely reduce stress. And when I am moving, it does help with depression and anxiety. It helps, it it releases positive endorphins.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

So and it gives you something to focus on, like other than the issues, the problems, the fixing things. Like it gives you literally in the moment, you are focused on your muscles, you're focused on your joints, you're focusing on your strength, you're focusing on betterment.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

The way you said focus, because I was gonna be like distract. Distract from the crazy.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

I mean, that's another way to put it too. This is that that is true.

SPEAKER_02 5:56

But it's all about the way you frame things, yeah. You know, because you call it distraction or something that you're focusing on. It has two different feelings to it, you know?

SPEAKER_00 6:04

Mm-hmm. Because if it's a distraction, you'd be like, damn, I gotta go back to that.

SPEAKER_02 6:06

Versus beyond that, I'm past that. It's above me now. Why do you look like you're talking to somebody over there?

SPEAKER_00 6:18

A lot of different personalities.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

Oh, the kids. Oh Lord have mercy. See, I was trying to I I figured. I figured as much. All right, so like I was saying before, uh, motherhood changes your relationship with your body. Now, I know before I had kids, I had what I would call like a six to twelve pack, and I'm not talking about beer. Like, I had ebbs, ebbs of steel. Like, they were amazing. And then, you know, after I had the kids, I had uh diastasis recti and I had like this four centimeter gap. No, I'm sorry. Four inch gap.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

Not centimeter, um, between my um abdominal muscle wall. And it had the same thing. Yeah, it had a huge impact on me. And like all the things that I used to be able to do, I didn't have core strength. I had like I was exhausted, um, you know, you're heavier than you used to be. You know, it's just it you don't even have the strength or the wherewithal to even know where to start when it comes to exercise. Because things don't work like they used to. Again, all the changes that happened during motherhood. What kind of changes did you did you have?

SPEAKER_00 7:34

Definitely the dissectist. What was diastasis recta?

SPEAKER_02 7:37

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

I have that, I have the max gap. Is it four of the max? Four or five.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

I guess it probably could go more.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

Okay, well, I I have a I have a fist that could fit in between my abs.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

And yeah, that sounds about right. That sounds about right.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Um, also lower back pain. My back was bothering the worst. I had two C sections. So recovering down there as well, and feeling the scar tissue buildup after the surgeries as well was really bad. Actually, my recovery for my second one was better than my first one, which is crazy. I would think the second one would be harder because it's recutting open something that was already scarring. But um, that also gaining the weight, just not literally. Everybody knows the newborn stage. If you had a beautiful, wonderful, majestic newborn stage, I don't like you. And that's not personal, but it's personal because so many women like, oh, it's so easy. They just go out and shopping with the little newborn and act like life doesn't change. They go wherever they want. I was confined to my home with my children and afraid to leave the house. My first son, I think he was three months before the first time I actually felt comfortable leaving the house by myself with him. Like I went to Target and we were there for maybe like an hour, maybe maybe half an hour before. I was like, oh, so I'm like, oh, he started crying. I was like, I gotta run home. I was so afraid. And I was breastfeeding too at the time. I was nervous to breastfeed in public. I was one of those moms. You know.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Me on the other hand.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

Yeah, I know you whooped the titty out in a second. You ain't your sisters. I was like, okay. I was sitting next to your sister, she whipped her titty out like, oh, okay, we just had a graduation. Okay. But I'm my mindset is different. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

Yes. I mean, I think everybody's experience is different and everybody has their struggles in different areas. But I think a lot of people just struggle with accepting the new normal when it comes to your body. Um, the physical changes, um, feeling disconnected when you become a mom.

SPEAKER_00 9:43

Um, societal pressures too, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Pinterest, perfect mom, the Instagrammy mom, the That was never me.

SPEAKER_02 9:54

Listen, my greatest, my greatest weapon was breast milk. Because I know me, I get overstimulated. I said they start crying, I was like, nipple.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Like, you know.

SPEAKER_02 10:06

So you never bottled paint your children? Like, supplemental, but mainly it was breast milk. I was like a cow for like forever.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

Like, I mean, I was just you don't have to tell me. I've known you long enough to know your I should have got a gut milk tattoo. You should have. Oh my god. You still could get it.

SPEAKER_02 10:23

I mean it's expired now, but you you know what? It is uh powdered milk now.

SPEAKER_00 10:29

No, but you were very encouraging. I will say that during my breastfeeding journey. You're very encouraging. I was like, her titties wasn't that big, but she breastfed three kids with them titties. You must have had the overproduction of milk or some thick ass milk that I wasn't that big. But you know, I can't believe I felt that's it. That's one of the best things about motherhood for me was being able to say that my body not only created this being, but also my body sustained this being. My children didn't eat food until they were six months old. They ate nothing but breast milk for the first six months of their life. And then I started putting them on solids.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

So yeah. You said, I did that, I did that, uh-oh.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

With the shoulder.

SPEAKER_01 11:13

We did it.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

All right. And then, you know, like you said, it took you a while to go back outside. You know, you gotta get to the point where you just don't care. You're like, I don't give a fuck. Like, you know, I'm taking a baby out, I'm gonna be outside. Yes, I look like a mom. Just, you know, being confident and showing your strength through motherhood. I mean, that's all a challenge in and of itself. And I do want to remind you that, like, you know, you're not working out in the same way you used to, but picking that baby up and down and bending all around, that still counts, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

Like my arms are of steel. Because I was my babies were 10 pounds basically when they were born. So I was carrying them for two, three years each. Some at one time I was carrying both of them at the same time. You do feel like you're working out because you got two big babies on you who don't want to be put down.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

Exactly. What's something about your body or your um wellness journey that you had to relearn after becoming a mom?

SPEAKER_00 12:08

This ain't the same body you had before, girl. So stop trying to do the same thing before. Because before I had kids, I was able to drop a workout routine and pick it up like that, and it didn't make a difference. Now I drop a bottle and I go to pick it up. Ah, I put my hair straight. Oh no, you know, cause a lot of a motherhood, especially in the beginning, you're in the same position. You're you're literally a a puppy meal. You know, you lay down, that boop flop out, and the babies go ahead and crawl to it and suckle in it all night long, or you're holding them so they can go to sleep and afraid to move, afraid to pee, afraid to drink, afraid to breathe, or they're gonna wake up and then you're gonna have to start all over again.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

You ever breastfeed them overnight and then wake up and your mouth feels like the Sahara Desert? Like just dry. Like, oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 12:54

I was like, sucking you completely dry, huh?

SPEAKER_02 12:57

Damn.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

No.

SPEAKER_02 12:59

Yes, yes. Anyway, um, I had to relearn that I needed to take time, like, um, give myself some grace. Um, I feel like, you know, you want to say, I felt empowered after I had the kids, right? But also I felt like I had this right hip and I was it was loosening from the uh it was loosened. I was just saying it. I can't even say that. I don't think that's the right word. It was it would it it would pop out the joint and I would have like a limp every now and then. I think the ligaments and everything just loosened up during pregnancy, but it didn't go right back in place. So like I I found out that like if I wasn't consistent with like working out, this popping or loosening of my hip joint was just returning. So it was like I found out that exercise was so more much more important, you know, uh than I thought it was. Like, you know, I'm like, oh, stretching, all of those things, I have to do it consistently, or um, I got a loose leg. It's like a loose Barbie leg. Like, you know, the one that just stands up.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

The ball chain just pop on out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

But literally, it would be doing that. I'd just be walking, it just pops. So I was just like walking and carrying the leg with the water.

SPEAKER_00 14:16

Looking like you're a Michael Jackson thriller. Yes. Going around a circle with a baby on my hip.

SPEAKER_02 14:21

Like Yeah. Um consistency matters, you know. Uh yeah, especially after having kids. Yeah, consistency matters, and I gotta like stay on it. Otherwise, it'll be like thriller part 44, because I'm 44 now. And um I would have to do it.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

But yeah, it's wellness is beyond weight loss. I know a lot of us moms, once again, like you said, Kway, your body is totally different than what it was prior to having kids, totally different than it was prior to having kids, too, one, two, three, four, however many you have. Your body is constantly changing to be able to create life, sustain life, and keep you alive too, boo. So wellness is not just about aesthetics. I know everybody is really interested in having the little teeny tiny waist, the thick thighs, thick hips, big booty, nice rotund breast versus, you know, having a body that got you to where you're at, you know. So we have to look at it more so than just looking cute in a bodysuit. How about exercising for mental health? You know, that's extremely important. Exercising for energy. I know it sounds crazy. I'm gonna be tired from working out, but you're telling me working out is gonna give me more energy, so I'm not tired. Come on now. Math don't be mathing, but it does. What does it do, um, Kway? What does exercise do?

SPEAKER_02 15:45

You say release positive endorphins into your system. Now, what are endorphins? So, like you said, um, positive endorphins are feel-good hormones, right? But they are neurochemicals produced by your brain in your pituitary gland, and their primary function is stress relief, and they are natural painkillers. So think about that, you know, natural way to reduce pain and stress, and you get all of that during motherhood. So that's why you may feel more energized. Um, you know, they make your body happy. Um, and you gotta figure out like some people are like, oh, I get a runner's high. Some people get it from different things. Like, you know, you gotta figure out what triggers your positive endorphins to come out and play with you, like you know. So but exercise is definitely one of the most effective ways.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Yeah, I used to work out when I did work out regularly in the morning. It had to be the first thing I did in the morning because if I didn't, I would it wouldn't happen. But I will be so productive. Like I will have the all the energy in the world before 9 a.m. baby.

SPEAKER_02 16:58

Well, you know what? Uh with the positive endorphins comes like a reward system. So once they act on the central nervous system, they trigger like a cascade of um a cascade that the uh releases dopamine, and that gives you like a sense of pleasure and accomplishment. So like if you start your day that way, then it's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Like, you know, you're just winning. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:23

Oh, I gotta get back. I I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm actually gonna be joining the gym this month because I told my kids that we don't have that many options around here. We got what I can afford, which is Planet Fitness, and that's all I'm being doing. But um, they do have something.

SPEAKER_02 17:37

Planet Fitness needs to give a a discount for single moms.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

This is true.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

Like the single mom honey Planet Fitness Collab.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

So that we can't see if you have an FSA or an HSA and you have a fund, you could use that towards your membership. So that's what I'm gonna be doing. I'm gonna take it out of that box.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:56

So I can pay for it that way. Because that's preventive maintenance, you know. That's trying to make sure that I am taking care of my body so I don't get diabetes, heart disease, whatever it may be. I'm trying to prevent those things from happening. But exercising for mental health and energy are not only the benefits of exercising, but also, as we talked about before, stress relief, longevity. Listen, I have noticed over the years my boomer mama slowly declining or rapidly, I guess you can decline because she didn't take care of her body when she had the opportunity to do herself, which is what I need to be doing as well, because when she was my age, she was just focused on being a single mom, taking care of her kids, working and stuff, but neglecting herself. I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_02 18:41

Huh? You cannot forget about. I said you can't forget about yourself because I feel like at 40, you either go uphill or downhill real fast. Girl. So you have to make that choice.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

Yes, that is so true. And then also just seeing my grandmother, like when I think about it, my grandmother was not even that old, but I only see her sit in her recliner, her lazy boy in front of the TV. I may see her get up and go to the bathroom, get up and go to the kitchen and cook, whatever, but not really an active lifestyle outside of just those few things. And I noticed my mom ended up doing the same thing as well. So I don't want to end up that way. I want to learn from their mistakes and try to do better so I could be active for my children because, like a lot of women in our generation, we're having children later on in life. I was 33 and 36 when I had my sons. So they're very young and want to be active and play and run and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

And I can't I had, okay, so I had my first baby at 25.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

Crazy.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

And then at 31, let me see here. How old was I in 2013? I guess I'd be 31. Yeah, and then 33. But I will say this each pregnancy, I knew that I had aged by the way that my body felt.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

Yeah, I remember my cousin's ex-wife now, but um, at the time she was telling me she was like, the second baby is totally different than the first one. She was like, I'm telling you, it's totally different. And I was like, How? I don't get it. But now I understand fully what she meant.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

She was like You don't understand until you experience it.

SPEAKER_00 20:11

Because the way she explained it is she was like, you're further than you're further away from the body you once had.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

After each baby. You're further away from your memory of who you used to be. You know, longevity as well as better sleep. I want to sleep like I did before I had kids. Hashtag Lila's obsession with NyQuil. Commercial that we still have yet to see, guys. Just in case you if you know what commercial she's talking about, go ahead and send us a message.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

It was on this timeline. I know I didn't make it up.

SPEAKER_00 20:44

She probably did. Go ahead and send us a message on our social medias at SingleMom HoneyOfficial or go ahead and send us an email, single momhoney at gmail.com. So I have noticed that not only do my body feel good, I feel like all my systems are working the best when I'm working out because I don't want to put trash in after putting all that time and energy into burning calories. So I'm in front of my mind is about nutrition. Also, hydration. I want to drink more water to cleanse myself out. You know, uh after you work out, every movement you can feel it because those muscles are sore or they're building and stuff like that. So you're a little bit more mindful on how you move as well. Um, and just go on hell, going ahead and giving yourself grace because there are so many different seasons of motherhood that you have experienced or have yet to experience. It's forever. You're a mother for the rest of your life. You know, like you don't just be mother for huh?

SPEAKER_02 21:40

I said forever, forever, ever. Forever.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

Yeah, so just getting into that and realizing exercise is more than just being cute. No, it's a way of life. And I'm ready. I'm ready.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

Oh, okay. Um I don't even know where you're at.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Topic three.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

Talk about some realistic fitness goals for busy single moms. Like, how busy were you this last month? Because I was horribly busy.

SPEAKER_00 22:09

May was crazy.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

Yeah. May was ridiculous. Like, I don't want to repeat it. May was like a fever dream.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Did it happen? Did it not? Mm-hmm. We made it.

SPEAKER_02 22:23

Oh, okay. Um, well, I was so busy. I was so busy, but I did run the half marathon door May. So I guess that counts.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 22:32

Yeah. All right. So yeah. So May was super busy. I ran a marathon. I did a musical. I had my birthday. My daughter went to prom. My daughter graduated from high school. My son graduated from fifth grade. I worked and I worked and I worked. I was also trying to learn lines for that musical, trying to remember.

SPEAKER_00 22:52

You did an excellent job. I think bravo. Bravo.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

While dealing with personalities and, you know, all types of personalities between work and adult theater kids, um, it was a lot. So um I was active during that month. And I think like one of the big things is being realistic. If you don't have the time in your schedule, look at or take note of all the things that you are doing so you don't discount them because maybe you are exercising, maybe you are working out. And hold on one second, I have a consult. You are Lord, have mercy on me. Okay. All right. So remember that everything counts. So short workouts count, dancing in your living room counts, you know, getting the D counts. Just moving at home with your kids. You could make a whole workout routine while you're cleaning your house because you know that like you gotta multitask as a single mom. And it almost makes me, it always makes me think of um the karate kid when uh Mr. Miyagi was always like wax on, you know, wax off. Like while you scrubbing the walls down, like wax on, wax off, and make sure you still work it out. Put some music on so that you're always moving. Um, just make your fitness routine fit your life instead of trying to like force it like early in the morning where you're not gonna be like super effective.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

You gotta have to do it early more. I'm gonna talk myself out of it, girl.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

Okay, that's fine. Whatever works for you.

SPEAKER_00 24:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

But I'm just saying, like, for other people, like I need to sleep to the last drop because I'm exhausted. Like I finally start to recover and then the kids be going back to school. Don't remind us.

SPEAKER_00 24:35

Don't remind us.

SPEAKER_02 24:37

So, like, some practical ideas would include taking walks with your kids, quick YouTube workout videos. Those are fun. Um, they have all types of videos. My mom is always sending me videos of her dancing. Oh, yes, or you know, just like doing boxing routines. Something that's fun. Yeah, yes, yes. And imagine my my mom, she's a little older. It's cute. Exactly. She was like, cross, cross, jab. It is the most hilarious video I have. Dance routines, stretching before you go to bed. Listen, that stretching helps. That stretching will save your hips. I've never been a stretcher, but I need to You need to stretch because when you get older, you're gonna want wanna have stretch so that like when you fall, you don't just break stuff.

SPEAKER_00 25:24

Right. Turn to glass. Shh.

SPEAKER_02 25:26

Exactly. Weight-bearing exercise helps you like uh not to develop osteoporosis, you know.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

My grandmother had osteoporosis.

SPEAKER_02 25:34

Yeah, you don't want none of that. That's wild. Um, or you can try fitness apps. My sisters try those.

SPEAKER_00 25:40

They do like the fitness apps.

SPEAKER_02 25:43

Let me know which ones they use that they like.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

So maybe I'll try a new one.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

I'll get back to y'all. Ask them about that. Yeah. Because they're always doing like like some type of wa Pilates or, you know, just something. Or you can always like hire your own trainer if that is in your budget. Like, you know, someone who will they my uh sister Kelly had a trainer coming to her house. Yes, yes, like whipping her into shape right around her house because she couldn't get to the gym. She always had the kids. And sometimes for our single moms, single moms, shoot, we don't have a sitter, we are the primary caregiver, and you don't have the time to get away, or you don't have the resources to have child care during those times. So, you know, um, what else? What have you tried at home?

SPEAKER_00 26:30

There is an app, and I have to find a name of it, but I haven't done it in years. But it was a challenge app, and you would sign up for it, and you would put like five or fifteen dollars down. And if you met all the requirements for that challenge, you would get money deposited back into your account. Because it was money focused. I was on it, girl. I was like, I ain't losing all my dollars. I ain't losing all my $15. I was walking around this neighborhood trying to get my steps. I remember one time I logged in and did my walk, but I didn't use my GPS. You have to have your GPS on the time in order for it to be proof that you did it. Girl, you know I went out there at nine o'clock and did my walk because I refused to get a timeline of how you have to get done in a week. And I refuse to get rid of my $15. Now, it was good that I did two walks in one day. That was awesome. But because it was monetary-based, it gave me more. So I got to get back on the app. I gotta find out what it was. But you sign up for different challenges and you have to input your stuff in every single day. And it keeps me motivated. And then you just get deposited and you can the money deposit to your account on the app, and then you can use that for another um challenge. Or you could just um uh withdraw your account. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:35

That's a good idea. So I think if you pay for it, you're more mm. So look, I have attempted to sign up for things like that, but then I'd be like, You want my money? I'm gonna pay you for me to work out.

SPEAKER_00 27:47

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:49

Do you work out for free? Yeah, pretty much. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:52

Well, it's about the motivation part of it, you know.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Yeah, yeah, because I it I'm more motivated to save my own money.

SPEAKER_00 27:58

Like, but that's one of the reasons why I've been so hesitant on going to a gym. Cause I was like, I have to figure it out in my schedule before I have somebody have access to my account taking money out of my account every month. If I know I'm not gonna do that, I've done it before, had gym membership and for a whole year, probably went two times, but they were taking that money out every damn month, and I'm not going back to that anymore. First, my money is limited now. That was when I was single, Aisha. I am uh, well, I'm still single, Aisha. But now I'm single Aisha with independent. Single alert, single. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So that's when before I had kids and responsibilities that I could just waste money. But now I'm like, oh, that $20 is lunch money for the week. Like I can't be having that come out and not be using it.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

So and the way the economy is going, that $20 ain't lasting a week. That's lasting a meal.

SPEAKER_00 28:47

Oh, you're right. You're right. You are not lying at all.

SPEAKER_02 28:50

All right, so let's talk about mental wellness and emotional health.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

Okay. So as we said before, movement definitely is emotional release. Um the stress lives in the body, the body always keeps count. If you don't release it through journaling, through prayer, through physical, through uh uh mental, do something is going to manifest itself inside of your body. And who knows where it's gonna go? Who knows how long it's gonna last and who knows how big it's gonna get. You have to release that stress and not allow it to live inside of you.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

Because it has a physical impact on your health.

SPEAKER_00 29:29

Yes, absolutely. Like I have experienced burnout, it's scary.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

It's I probably wanted to listen, and it's stress the stress of motherhood alone is enough to take anybody out. Yeah, yeah, and that's and then like found that with single motherhood, like that's a that's a lie.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Yeah, and just as we have talked in recent news of so many women who are burnt out to the point that life no longer matters to them, you know, be it suicide because they didn't get the help that they needed or didn't feel like they had the help that they needed, be it homicide, taking their children out with them because they couldn't handle it anymore. You know, these are true and real situations that everybody is living every single day. And to take care of your mental wellness is not only for you to be a better person, but also to be a better mother to the people who depend on you every single day. Um, your emotional health is just as important as your physical health, and those two can combine, our powers combine, make you a super model, you know, but like anxiety is no joke um when it comes to motherhood because it's when you're an anxious person, you cannot get overstimulated. When you're a mother, you are constantly stimulated. So it's like these two things are going against each other, and it's just like explosion about to happen.

SPEAKER_01 30:59

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 31:00

If you don't take care of one, the other one is not gonna take care of it for you. They're just gonna be telling you to get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger till you just fucking pop. And that's not okay. You know, wellness habits to discuss that will help with mental and emotional health will be therapy. We are huge advocates for therapy here at single mom honey. Talk to someone who is focused on just you.

SPEAKER_02 31:22

Just and find someone who is for you. Because, you know, sometimes you know you get discouraged when you meet a therapist and they're not a good fit. Don't don't go.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

It's just like dating. Find which one works for you and your girl, girl.

SPEAKER_02 31:34

That that I don't know if that was encouraging because the date and pool got paid in it.

SPEAKER_00 31:38

Well, these are people who are paid to talk to you. So you the pimp. Okay. All right, they're the prize. So you gotta, you know, figure out what works for you. Okay. Yeah, go listen to our episode with Megan the Hustle Hiller deal where she talks about breath work and how that could be beneficial to single moms. Huge, huge advocate for that as well.

SPEAKER_02 31:58

Um, getting a morning routine together, like we said, when you get those positive endorphins rolling and you get um what that dopamine flowing and you get that that that cascade of feeling like accomplished and you know, just refreshed and happy and like I mean, it's awesome if you can get started in the morning. But remember, if you're not a morning person, you can start that later in the day as well.

SPEAKER_00 32:23

Exactly, exactly. And then sleep hygiene. We talked about sleep deprecation. If you haven't listened to that episode already, go ahead and listen to that as well because that is the stage before complete and total burnout. Like sleep is necessary. We're human. I know we're considered heroes, but we are still very much human. And also realizing that there is no guilt with taking a break. Sometimes you're gonna sit your ass down and say, give me 30 minutes.

SPEAKER_02 32:51

Yes, 30 minutes. Remember, no, no is a complete sentence. That's all you have to say. Exactly. You gotta explain yourself. It's no.

SPEAKER_00 33:00

Mm-hmm. So let's go over and talk about the overcoming barriers to working out, okay.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

Okay. So barriers to working out. Those would include child care limitations, gym intimidation, financial limitations, feeling inconsistent or discouraged, lack of motivation after long work days. Just remember, like, consistency is key. You, you know what? If you have child care limitations, work out with your kids. Go to the park. Listen, take a walk, include them. Like it doesn't have to just be a solo workout.

SPEAKER_00 33:34

I feel like my kids are like my personal trainers because, like I told you before, they already told me, mommy, you said you were going to join a gym when the summer started. I said summer did not start. It starts June 21st. It's not June 21st first, but they will be on top of you, okay? And not only that, when you work out with them, they have an endless amount of energy. When you try to keep up with them, those are your personal trainers, okay? They're not just ops, they're also your personal trainers.

SPEAKER_02 33:57

Exactly. Um, and don't be intimidated by the gym.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

The gym is intimidating. It is.

SPEAKER_02 34:04

Okay, first of all, first of all, you know what's intimidating? Childbirth.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

Well, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 34:09

I never did that either.

SPEAKER_00 34:12

Well, I mean, I got cut open. That was scary to have something put in your back. A needle this fucking big twice. Um, as you said before, consistency matters more to perfection. You know, not only does consistency matter more to perfection, also just moving matters more than a perfect outfit. You don't need to spend all that money on Lululemon, on aloe. Not at all. On all those to look the part, but you ain't moving around. You know, like Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 34:36

And guess what? None of them stop you from sweating. And after childbirth, I swear to goodness, I just get hot for no reason. Like my hormones were all over the place. Listen, it clearly wasn't because I had two more kids after the first one. Oh, I'm talking about like my my heat regulation system on the inside was just all over the place. So, like, before I could run miles with no sweating, and then after that, I was just sweating after the kids. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:10

Okay, so when it comes to the wellness of motherhood, single motherhood, just remember that your body deserves care, patience, and compassion. We hope these tips were very helpful for you who are early on their wellness journey or in the same place as me with this starting a wellness journey for myself so I could be a better Aisha, but most importantly, a better mom as well. And if you would like to add tips onto this episode, go ahead and send us an email, Single Mom Honey, or you can go ahead and send us a message on any of our socials, Facebook, TikTok, um, and Instagram, as well as YouTube at Single Mom Honey Official. Go ahead and make sure you subscribe and rate our podcast wherever you are listening to us. We enjoy fives, you know, because we are single moms, we're single mom heroes, and we try to do the best.

SPEAKER_02 36:00

All right. So until next time, you bring the tea.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

And we got the honey.

SPEAKER_02 36:05

All right. See you next time on Single Mom Honey.